“Dear husband”: Why 2 million people have read this letter
“Dear husband, I. Need. More. Help.”
This is how working mother of two Celeste Elrach began a emotional open letter to her husband that was published on Facebook group Breastfeeding Mamma Talk last month, which has since gone on to become an internet sensation.
The letter details how Erlach is struggling to come to terms with the way the couple had so quickly slipped into gender roles after the birth of their children and how the “help” provided by her husband was in many times inadequate.
“You placed the [crying] baby in the bassinet and gently pushed the bassinet just a few inches closer to my side of the bed, a clear gesture that you were done watching him,” Elrach wrote in her letter.
“I wanted to scream at you. I wanted to launch an epic fight that very moment. I had been watching the baby and the toddler all damn day. I was going to be waking up with the baby to feed him all damn night. The least you could do is hold him for a couple of hours in the evening so I can attempt to sleep.”
Plenty of mothers sympathised with Elrach’s frustration.
“I could have written this. My husband is an amazing father and partner, but yes, sometimes I do need that extra help. A pat on the back. A nap. A thank you. An hour of alone time. Why do I still feel bad then when I ask?” wrote one mother.
“I always think to myself, wow what a luxury it must be to be male. Being able to leave to work without having to do a million things before leaving, like making sure the kids are showered, dressed, fed and ready for school,” wrote another.
Fairfax reports Elrach had no intention of her letter ever seeing the light of day, she merely used it as preparation for her confrontation with her husband.
“I was on the verge of breaking many times, and I felt guilty and embarrassed that I could not keep up with the physical, mental and emotional workload that all of us moms endure. Was something wrong with me, or do other moms experience this too?” Elrach said via email.
After facing her husband Elrach noticed immediate improvements and decided to share the letter to inspire other struggling mothers to have similar conversations with their partners.
“I want moms to know they need to speak up. Asking for help does not mean you've failed,” she said.
What are your thoughts?