Caring for someone with a terminal illness
It’s a fact of life that most of us will experience terminal illness in some way or another – whether we have to endure it first-hand or are called upon to help another through their journey, it’s never going to be easy. The best that we can do is look after one another, offer as much help as possible and accept support when we are in need ourselves.
It’s important to remember that as difficult as it may be for you to come to terms with a loved one’s terminal illness diagnosis, it’s even harder for them. For most terminally ill people, normalcy is all they want. Your relationship doesn’t have to change and you don’t need to tread on eggshells around them – they are still the same person they always were.
Fortunately, there are two main ways you can ease the journey for your sick loved one: practical solutions like taking them for treatment or helping out with the groceries and more emotional support like providing them with a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen. Some patients want to cling to their everyday life as much as possible, so if they insist on continuing their day-to-day chores, you should respect that wish.
On the other hand, emotional support should be ongoing from the moment of diagnosis until the sadly inevitable end. Talking to them about your favourite memories together, joking with them and keeping conversations light-hearted is a great way to start. Rather than mourning the loss of your loved one before they’re even gone, celebrate your time together while you still can. You don’t want to look back on this hard time and think, “why didn’t I make the most of the time we had at the end?”
It’s also important to realise that if you’re the primary caregiver of someone who is terminally ill, it’s possible you will feel some feelings of negativity towards them. It may sound harsh, but it’s completely normal to feel resentment towards your loved one, and it doesn’t make you a bad person – if anything, it proves how much you care for and love them. Comfort yourself with the knowledge that there are ways you can overcome these negative emotions, and that these feelings will eventually pass. Click here for some more information on dealing with the negative emotions of caregiving.
What advice do you have for people in this situation? Share your wisdom with those who need it in the comments below.
Related links:
The 4 negative feelings every caregiver experiences
How to care for someone with depression
Why you shouldn’t feel guilty for prioritising yourself