“He was pure evil”: Grace Tame recalls the confrontation with her abuser
Content warning: This article mentions child sexual abuse and rape.
Grace Tame has spoken out about the first time she “stood up” to her abuser, and how she would never forget telling him he was a “monster” and “pure evil”.
The 2021 Australian of the Year spoke about her experience while addressing a packed audience at Adelaide Writers’ Week alongside event director Jo Dyer and author Jess Hill.
The Writers’ Week talk, entitled The Reckoning, saw Ms Tame open up about how she confronted the teacher who repeatedly raped her.
Although she was “terrified of this paedophile”, Ms Tame said she “stood up” to him and told him “he was a monster” four days before she reported him to police.
“I told him that, and I will always remember that, and you know what? So will he,” she said.
“My fear of upsetting the apple cart died that day.”
Ms Tame was repeatedly abused while she was a student at Hobart’s St Michael’s Collegiate.
She was 15 at the time.
“He’d never seen my true rage towards him, but as he sat in his office chair I pointed a finger at him, I was crying my eyes out, I started yelling and screaming and I told him exactly what I thought of him,” she recounted.
“And I told him I thought - I thought he was pure evil, and that I hoped he died, and I pointed to a picture of his own children who were twice my age at the time, and I told him I hated him for what he had done to me.
“Whenever I think I can’t do something I remember this day - and I was terrified when I did this - but this is what I draw on when I need self-belief.”
Since her abuser’s conviction, Ms Tame has campaigned for the way sexual assault is dealt with to be changed, and told Wednesday’s audience that legal restrictions preventing victims from sharing their stories contributed to an “ecosystem of abuse”.
“It’s so messed up how society has all these layers of victim-blaming entrenched, codified at every level,” she said.
Grace Tame opened up about how she confronted her abuser at Adelaide Writers’ Week. Image: Roy Vandervegt / Adelaide Festival
She added that the language used to describe sexual abuse and assault also partially contributed to said “ecosystem of abuse”.
“That’s what really inspired me to pursue a different kind of advocacy because I thought, ‘Why am I learning about this word (grooming) for the first time seven years after I’ve gone through this experience?’” she said.
“You know, like if you are stabbed for instance, you can say I was stabbed. This is what happened. These were the circumstances and then we also have the skillset to then ask for help - the appropriate help - but that’s certainly not what I had.”
Ms Tame also shared more details about a “threatening” phone call she received last year asking her to refrain from saying anything negative about Prime Minister Scott Morrison.
She first mentioned the phone call at the National Press Club last month, alleging a senior member of a government-funded organisation was the one who called her.
On Wednesday, she elaborated on the incident and said “it wasn’t an empty threat”.
“I didn’t share this at the National Press Club but do you know what the threat was, from that person who phoned me? It was that they wouldn’t support the [Grace Tame] Foundation if I said something about the Prime Minister,” she said.
Following her Press Club address, Women’s Safety Minister Anne Ruston said the federal government had begun an investigation into Ms Tame’s allegation.
Image: Roy Vandervegt / Adelaide Festival