13 things psychologists wish you knew about happiness
Listen to melancholy music
You heard that right! You officially have another excuse to listen to Adele on repeat (as if you even needed one anyway). Studies suggest that blasting some depressing and sappy tunes can actually help boost positive and peaceful feelings, which can be therapeutic, cathartic, and calming.
Actually speak to the person next to you on the train or bus
People are happier during their commutes when they chat up their seat neighbour, even if they think it will make the trip less positive and productive, according to a study in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General. Try to get over your fear of speaking to strangers or worrying that you’re bothering them – you could bring some joy to both of you! “The biggest source of misery in the workplace is actually getting there and back,” says Dr Art Markman, PhD, author of Brain Briefs. “People are generally unhappy when forces outside their control are affecting their lives.” Obviously, you can’t control other drivers or the schedule of public transportation, so it helps to find aspects of your commute that you can control. “Get in conversations with random strangers on the train or bus,” says Dr Markman. “The more you take control of the situation, the happier you’ll be.”
Know that money sometimes can buy happiness
“They say money can’t buy happiness,” says Dr Nancy Etcoff, PhD, an assistant clinical professor at Harvard Medical School. “But it can if what you buy is extra time, or pay to delegate tasks.” So don’t feel guilty ordering in Chinese food or hiring a house cleaner. A study found that people who spend money to save time tend to be happier than those who don’t. Yes, it might be overkill to order takeout for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day, or to have someone clean your home more than once a week. But consider sending out your dry cleaning this week to save you the time of ironing yet another shirt.
Call your mum
When was the last time you picked up your smartphone to actually make a call? Research has found that hearing your mum’s voice can help reduce stress, which means a happier you. Talking on the phone was found to reduce a key stress hormone and release the feel-good brain chemical oxytocin that is thought to play a key role in forming bonds. It goes without saying that you’ll also make Mum’s day.
Hang out with happy people
Yawns aren’t the only things that are contagious. Research has found that the more you surround yourself with positive people, the happier you’ll feel. Go ahead and enjoy a round of drinks with your girl squad, grab coffee with that woman at school pickup who’s always smiling, or schedule a visit with your cheery hairdresser.
Daydream about your upcoming holiday
Do you yearn to be lying on the beach, exploring the mountains, trekking in the jungle, or touring a museum – right this minute? Believe it or not, getting out of town won’t necessarily make you happier, a study found. But thinking about going out of town is another story. The fact is that we get an extra boost of joy if we delay pleasure. We build positive expectations, imagining how amazing the experience will be. That warm sun or the frozen strawberry daiquiri by the pool? It’s just an added bonus.
Speak to the person behind you in the supermarket
Research has found that making friends – not just online – boosts our spirits. “Face-to-face, human interactions are the elixir for nearly everything that ails us,” says Dr Kit Yarrow, PhD, a consumer psychologist, professor, author, consultant, and speaker. “Though every interaction may not create happiness, in the long run, [it’s] the sense of community that’s created will.” Say hello to the mum next to you on the sideline at the soccer game. Chat up your new co-worker in the lunchroom. You never know who you’ll meet and what kind of connections you’ll make.
Dust off your yearbook
It’s time to reminisce about fond memories from the past, so dig up your wedding album or high school yearbook, and then call or email your high school or childhood besties. Research published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin has found that feeling nostalgic about the past will increase optimism about the future and make you happier.
Hang out with man’s best friend
Power to the pets! Studies show that playing fetch with your dog or cuddling up with your cat does the body good. Interacting with pets has been found to release oxytocin, and you’ll be left with a joyous feeling.
Be a little selfish
“Being selfish is sometimes the best thing for yourself and others,” says Antonia Hall, MA, a psychologist, relationship expert, and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life. Self-care may cause disappointment to others, like when you decline an invitation or cancel plans, Hall says. “But your wellbeing is more important.” If you’re unhappy, it won’t be a positive experience for either of you anyway, she says.
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This article originally appeared on Reader's Digest.