3 ways to stop overthinking your mistakes
We all have those regrettable moments that keep us awake at night – maybe you tripped in front of new acquaintances, said something you shouldn’t have or incidentally put on your clothes the wrong way. Reflecting on your past experiences can be helpful but replaying negative incidents in your head repeatedly can truly harm your mental health. Studies have found that rumination is linked to increased negative mood and risk of depression.
If you feel like these ruminations start to bother you more than they should, here are three tips to deal with it.
1. Detach yourself
Everyone is a hero in their own story – that’s why the embarrassing mistakes we make might feel consequential to our image and sense of self. To quash the damaging thoughts, distancing yourself from the mishaps and deflating your ego could help.
“Look for any subtle entitlement or self-absorption hidden in your ruminations,” Alice Boyes, author of The Healthy Mind Toolkit and The Anxiety Toolkit wrote in Harvard Business Review.
“Do you expect things to always go your way? Do you tend to believe people are scrutinising you when, in reality, they’re probably thinking about themselves? Do you spend time comparing yourself to business superstars or celebrities? Entitlement and personalising can indicate that you tend to think the world revolves around you.”
2. Reorient your mind
Turn your attention somewhere else. This could be as simple as finding a healthy, mentally-absorbing distraction to break the pattern of excessive ruminating. This can be physical activity, such as walking or exercising, or simple tasks such as filling out crosswords or doing chores.
Another way to redirect your mind is through meditation, where you train yourself to turn your attention towards the present and away from distracting thoughts, including worries about the future and, importantly, regrets about the past.
3. Find a solution
Shift your thinking gears to problem solving. “Ask yourself what steps you can take to learn from a mistake or avoid a future problem,” Amy Morin, psychotherapist and author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do wrote in Psychology Today. “Instead of asking why something happened, ask yourself what you can do about it.”
Once you know what to do, you can start taking small steps and making appropriate changes, thereby lifting some burden off your head.
Do you have tips to relieve yourself of intrusive thoughts? Share with us in the comments.