Alex O'Brien
Mind

How self-doubt holds you back

We all have moments where our confidence wavers and self-doubt creeps in. But when does this turn into something more serious?

The idea of impostor syndrome is the belief that you don’t deserve the good things that are happening to you. It’s the idea that you have got that job, promotion, great family or healthy bank balance due to luck or trickery rather than your own skills.

For those living with imposter syndrome, they worry that their world will eventually come crashing down around them once they are exposed as the frauds that they are.

This could mean that a promotion at work leaves them feeling vulnerable and anxious, as they feel that everybody is watching them and waiting for them to fail (even though they are suitably qualified and experienced).

It’s not a new concept, having been first described in the 1970s. Research shows that women tend to suffer more from impostor syndrome, but men are also affected by the condition. The cause is hard to pinpoint, but could be based on high expectations set by parents, being a perfectionist with too-high standards, or just being a person with low self-esteem.

These feelings hold people back from reaching their true potential, as they can’t see that they deserve the good things in their life and can even sabotage their own success.

So what you can you do if you feel the walls of self-doubt closing in on you?

1. Fake it till you make it

Talk to famous actors or company bigwigs and you’ll probably find that most of them didn’t ever feel ready for success when it happened for them.

So the idea is that you just fake the confidence until it starts to feel normal for you. Understand that fear is natural, but that it doesn’t have to stop you from succeeding.

Naturally, ‘faking it’ is fine if, for example, you want to appear more experienced than you are at public speaking before making a huge presentation to potential investors – but not if you are planning on performing brain surgery without being suitably qualified.

2. Step outside your comfort zone

If you want to keep developing your skills and get recognition at work, it’s important not to get stuck in a rut. It’s easy to keep doing the same old thing but it’s not going to get you on the up and up.

Instead, put your hand up for projects that are beyond your current skill level, or offer to help out in an area that is not within your usual role. Being able to step up and challenge yourself is a key to moving out of the imposter box.

3. Don’t apologise

Some sufferers of impostor syndrome clam up and can’t speak due to fear – but for others the opposite is true. For these people, they take any chance they can to tell co-workers (or even their boss) that they are nervous or under-qualified.

A much better idea is to refer to the two points above, and just smile and say ‘thank you’ when someone offers you a promotion or a raise.

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Tags:
health, mind, Self, self-doubt, imposter syndrome