Family & Pets
10 factors that influence how you grandparent
What ‘makes’ you grandparent the way that you do? While it’s a skill that’s supposed to come naturally, especially after having children of your own, the way we behave as grandparents is shaped by a variety of different factors. These are the top 10 according to recent research.
- Your experience with your own grandparents – Good or bad, your experience with your grandparents will greatly impact your perception of what a good grandparent is.
- Your experience watching your own parents’ grandparent – Over the years you will have observed your own parents in the role as grandparents to your children. Think about what you learnt from those observations and how it can shape your own experience.
- Your gender – Yes, it’s a generalisation but research has concluded that grandparenting is a gendered experience with grandmothers filling a slightly different role to grandfathers. Just because that may be the norm however, doesn’t mean it should define your own experience. You can break out of your prescribed gender roles if you feel confident and it can be a wonderful way to connect with your grandchildren.
- Your generation – Your age and the generation you belong to can have an enormous impact on how you perceive the grandparent role. Being aware of the norms that may be associated with your generation, especially the negative ones, can ensure you avoid these missteps.
- Your employment status – Whether you’re still working or fully retired has a significant impact on your grandparenting practices. If you are employed in a demanding role with little time to spend with your grandchildren it’s worth thinking about ways you can maximize the time you do have so that you can build a long lasting bond which will only get stronger as your work hours lessen over time.
- Your financial situation – The activities that your grandchildren often cherish the most cost very little. While financial concerns can put a dampener on your grandparenting try and separate yourself from those worries while with your grandchildren and get creative with how you spend your time.
- Your geographical location – Long distance grandparenting can be tough. Finding innovative ways to continue to connect with your grandchildren, despite there being distance between you is made much easier with technology like Skype.
- Your health – Health issues can make grandparenting difficult. It’s important to ask yourself how your health might impact your relationship with your grandchildren and how you can find ways to work with the identified limitations.
- Your relationship with your own children – A difficult relationship with your children can make for a fraught relationship with the next generation. It’s important to nurture the relationship with your own children to ensure a positive one with your grandchildren.
- The characteristics of your grandchildren – Each of your grandchildren will be completely and utterly unique. You may naturally gravitate towards one personality type over another but it’s important to recognize this and never play favourites. Build connections with all your grandchildren equally for long term happiness.
What’s the biggest issue you’ve faced as a grandparent? Tell us how you overcame it in the comment section below.
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