I tracked down my father-in-law’s long lost brother
Carolyn Le-Grand’s lifelong interest in family history led her to uncover her own family secret – she found her father-in-law’s long lost brother, a brother he hadn’t seen in over 40 years.
Family history research was a passion of mine from my early 30s. I had researched several lines on my mother and fathers’ sides back to the 1600s, and uncovered so many interesting stories and facts which we would otherwise never have known. Once you have exhausted all available internet and library resources there are timeframes where you are waiting for information to come back, usually contained within certificates and documents. Things such as parents’ names, addresses, and occupations usually give clues to research other avenues. During this time a researcher will usually start on another line to quench their thirst for more knowledge. It is very addictive.
During one of my hiatus periods, I decided to start on my husband’s family history. There was a little knowledge on his mother’s side, but nothing at all on his father’s. Every time I asked my husband Derek’s father, Peter, about his family he would tell me that he didn’t have any family and basically dismissed me. Peter had been a soldier in World War II in the British Army and could talk for hours on this subject. His children would always say “don’t mention the war” because that would start him and you couldn’t shut him up. Any other questions or topics – with the exception of motorbikes, model planes and cats – were not of interest. I now wish I had listened more closely to his war stories.
One day, I thought I would make a persistent attempt to gain information and this time he responded. He told me that he “once” had a brother and sister and remembered their names! That was a start! He had trouble remembering his mother’s name at first, remembered his father’s name and when it all started to come out I understood. What had started as a line, where probably nothing was of interest, sent me on a mystery journey uncovering unexpected facts and stories at every turn.
“Where do I start?” I asked myself. Peter’s brother Walter (Wally) had been in the services and was a little younger and probably living in England. However, he would also be of pensionable age. There’s a clue I thought. I wrote a letter to the Defence services in England and another to the pension’s office with a letter enclosed with each addressed to the long lost brother, Wally. There was no response for two years but then out of the blue we received a phone call from the wife of the brother. We then arranged for Peter to be at our place and take a phone call from the brother at a designated time. My father-in-law did not have a phone connected. It was interesting listening on the side to the answers Peter was giving. Walter was unsure at first that it was Peter and there were questions about pets and events. Finally, Walter was convinced Peter was his brother and Peter made immediate arrangements to travel to England to visit. It had been well over 40 years since Peter had seen any of his siblings. He had not been out of Australia since his arrival in 1959. He now had a new lease of life and purpose!
The family had lived a very dysfunctional life. Remember it was war-time and lots went on. Whilst living and working in Canada as a “Mountie” the father was served with divorce papers to the mother’s surprise (she did not know he was still married). She up and left for England, leaving the father with the children. Peter was then sent to a training ship at 14, the younger sister Jean had been sent to boarding school, and the younger brother Wally sent to a Cadet unit. Over the years Wally had kept in contact with his father, and his mother, to a lesser degree, who had remarried and moved to Wales. Following the death of his father in 1957, Wally had broken into his home and retrieved some family history items including, letters, army records and medals as the new wife did not want anything to do with the father’s family. Family letters were uncovered; written from the mother to the father and vice versa which told a multitude of stories about the relationship. There was talk of M15 involvement, photos and evidence of bigamy and lots more. By the time Peter found his brother, the father and mother had long passed away.
Peter visited his brother Wally within the year. On this visit both Peter and Wally managed to track down their sister Jean. She was a recluse but they persuaded her to let them in for a visit. We were all excited about discovering a new aunt and uncle and many cousins and asked Dad to take lots of photos on his initial visit. When he came back we quickly got the 700 photos developed and found a couple of photos with Wally and a few cousins in the background, but hundreds of photos of motorbikes and Wally’s cat! They had so much in common. I couldn’t believe it – they were so alike! Peter followed this initial visit with two other visits over the coming years but unfortunately on the last visit, Wally passed away before Peter got there. He arrived too late and stayed for the funeral.
Peter passed away in 2011 just before his 90th birthday. We are all grateful that he got to reunite with his siblings.
(An interesting side point is that Derek’s aunty had three children with exactly the same names as three of Derek’s siblings.)
Since discovering Derek’s family we are all in contact and have had visits both ways (England to Australia) with the cousins. We have also tracked down the descendants of the first wife of Peter’s father, who are also related! Surprises never cease.
If you have a story to share please get in touch at melody@oversixty.com.au.
Related links:
Why decluttering the family home can be a bad thing
A walk down memory lane: Growing up in the 1960s
Thank you dad for everything you taught me