‘Parenting expert’ claims high-fiving children is inappropriate
A celebratory gesture has been deemed inappropriate for children by a journalist and self-proclaimed ‘parenting expert’.
John Rosemand claimed that the high-five is a “gesture of familiarity, to be exchanged between equals” and that “children should know their place”.
“I have traded the palm slap with adult friends. “Dude! Gimme five!” I can be, and am, as cool as the next — the next adult, that is,” he wrote in the Omaha World-Herald.
“I will not slap the upraised palm of a person who is not my peer, and a peer is someone over age 21, emancipated, employed and paying their own way.”
Rosemand also declared that high-fives were off the table for employers and employees, doctors and patients, and grandparents and grandchildren, as well as stating that the President of the United States shouldn’t high-five anyone.
The journalist went on to explain that high-fives are “not compatible with respect”, and that respecting adults “is important to a child’s character development”.
“Children should know their place. Adults should know their place. The more adults and children commingle as if they are equals, the more problematic become their relationships,” he concludes.
“Why should a child obey an adult who high-fives him? And make no mistake, the happiest kids are also the most obedient. The research says so, as does one’s common sense.”
While Rosemand claims there is research for the connection between obedience and happiness in kids, there have been multiple studies on the psychological effects of high-fives, including the benefits for children.
One study, published in the journal Frontiers in Psychology, found that high-fives and other forms of ambiguous praise (praise that is less explicit, such as a thumbs up) are effective motivators for children.
In fact, high-fives could be one of the best ways of praising children, with the study finding that children evaluated themselves and drawings they did more favourably than those who received verbal praise.
Since Rosemand’s article was published, it has been the subject of criticism on social media.
"My personal goal today was to respond to emails but now it's high-fiving every kid I see," one user said on Twitter.
"Imagine being so obsessed with where you stand in a social hierarchy relative to others in it that you think basic gestures of humanity ought to be withheld from your inferiors for the sake of decorum," another tweeted.
"He's wrong on this one, and this doctor high-fives patients. I still command respect. Maybe he's doing something incorrectly," a third suggested.
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