The many things grandparents sacrifice for their family
Grandparents are sacrificing jobs, travel, recreation and even their retirement to care for their grandchildren so parents can go to work, finds a new report from the University of New South Wales in Australia.
The study looked into how childcare affects grandparents’ work and retirement plans, finding that 70 per cent of grandparents had changed the days or shifts they worked, more than half had reduced their working hours, and 18 per cent had changed jobs. A third of grandparents had moved the timing of their retirement to care for grandkids.
Myra Hamilton, author of the study and social policy researcher at UNSW, told The Sydney Morning Herald grandparents were making enormous personal sacrifices to provide childcare.
“Our expectations of grandparents are extremely high," said Dr Hamilton. "We're asking them to juggle their childcare responsibilities and their labour market responsibilities."
However, despite these statistics most grandparents enjoy looking after their children, believing that regular childcare is a given when becoming a grandparent.
Doreen Rosenthal, a professor emeritus and co-author of New Age Nanas: Being a Grandmother in the 21st Century, spoke to many grandmothers during the research of her book and says that “sacrifice” is the wrong word to use.
“The grandmothers we surveyed and talked to all wanted to spend time with their grandchildren and most were more than happy to help out parents by caring for the grandchildren either on an occasional basis or more regularly,” she said. “They did not view this as a ‘sacrifice’. Many said they saw it as a joy and a privilege. They wanted to establish bonds with their grandchildren and they wanted to give support to the parents.”
However, Professor Rosenthal says it’s not to mean there are no issues with the increasing number of hours grandparents are looking after children.
“Most grandparents are mature enough to negotiate what they’re prepared to do,” she said, “However problems may arise for grandparents that they haven’t considered. These include, among others, financial needs, desire to return to the paid workforce and having time for themselves.”
Professor Rosenthal added, “So what happens when the grandchildren grow up? Grandparents who have devoted a great deal of time to their grandchildren may find themselves at a loose end with time on their hands especially if they have given up paid work. One effect of this is that we need to ensure that our workplaces have some degree of flexibility so that grandparents can come in and out of the workforce if they wish or need to.”
Michael O'Neill, chief executive of National Seniors, also called on policy makers to recognise grandparents as childcare contributors.
“The extent to which grandparents are providing daycare has significant policy implications beyond early childhood education to mature age participation and retirement incomes,” he told DPS News.
“Other developed countries are already recognising the contribution grandparents make to their economic and social fabric,” said Mr O’Neill.
Doreen Rosenthal’s top tips to maintain the balance between caring for grandkids and living your life:
- Make sure you have adequate ‘me’ time
- Maintain a healthy lifestyle
- Keep working if you can and want to
- Maintain your social connections
- Make sure you build breaks into your care regime – grandparents need holidays too!
- Tell your children when they are asking too much of you and come to a mutually satisfactory compromise. Don’t be a doormat.