Rachel Fieldhouse
Family & Pets

“That’s not my mum”: Funeral mix-up sees grieving daughter farewell a stranger

A grieving woman has said a mix-up has meant the body in the casket at her mum’s funeral was actually that of a total stranger.

When Dianne De Jager realised what had happened, her experience was made even more distressing when she was told by the funeral director to carry on with the service regardless.

Recounting the event to A Current Affair, the Adelaide woman said it made her feel sick and “not want to be there”.

“Everybody in that room thought they were saying goodbye to my mum, and it’s not her,” Ms De Jager told the program.

“It made me feel sick. It made me not want to be there.”

Her mother, Margaret Locke, was due to be farewelled at the service on August 1 at the Enfield Memorial Park, with around 100 people gathering for the service.

But, when Ms De Jager looked inside the casket one last time, she realised a terrible mistake had been made.

“That’s not my mum,” she told the funeral director.

"He said, 'that's definitely Margaret, she was tagged as Margaret', and I said, 'this is not my mum'," she recalled.

He only relented when Ms De Jager showed him a recent photo of her late mum.

"I zoomed the face in and I put it next to the lady in that coffin and I said, 'that is not my mum'.”

Despite the mistake, the funeral director suggested they carry on with the service while the mix-up was investigated.

"How can you say goodbye to your mum when it's not her?” Ms De Jager said.

"None of that eulogy really sunk in, or hit me because I wasn't really listening properly, I wasn't there. It just made me feel so empty and blank.”

In a statement shared with A Current Affair, Clarke Family Funerals admitted a “mistake” was made with Ms Locke’s service and that the decision to continue the service was an error.

"We have always striven to provide beautiful and respectful funerals that offer a lasting tribute but we fell well short of our own high standards,” they said.

"This situation is deeply regrettable and we continue to offer our sincerest apologies to the family.

"This decision was made under the stress of the situation and on reflection we should have sought a different outcome."

Adrien Barrett, the president of the Australian Funeral Directors Association, said that multiple measures, such as various tags and checks, were used to ensure the person in a casket was the person being mourned.

But, if there is any doubt, he said the first thing to do would be to stop the funeral.

"The first thing that would need to happen would be that the funeral service should be stopped," Mr Barrett said.

"The person whose funeral it's supposed to be isn't at the funeral.

"We also have a person whose funeral it's not supposed to be at the funeral."

After the service, Ms Locke was located and cremated, with the De Jager family then presented with her ashes.

Ms De Jager said all she could do during the service was make the best of the situation.

"So I said goodbye to this lady, I said 'rest in peace' and 'I hope you find your family'".

Images: Channel 9

Tags:
Family & Pets, Funeral, Mother, Daughter, Grief