Couples should spend time apart to get closer
If you are looking to add a bit more spark to your relationship, spending time on your own sounds counterintuitive. But in fact, couples that don’t spend every minute together tend to be happier and their relationships stronger because of it.
Think of it like this, how can you give your partner a chance to miss you if you’re always there? They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it could just be that doing your own thing means you have something to talk about. Having your own friends, interests and lives means that you can come together later and fill each other in on the day’s events.
It also means that if you do end up on your own, due to relationship breakdown or even death, you’ve got your own solid circle of friends to lean on. If you’ve spent all of your time with your partner and ignored your friendships, you may find the change much harder to deal with.
Here are six ideas for things that you could do on your own even as part of a couple.
1. Attend your own social events
Having a regular catch up with the girls, or a weekly game of cricket with the guys is a great way to pursue your own interests with your social circle. There’s no need to tag along to your partner’s hobbies and interests if it really isn’t something that you can get involved with. Let them go (or go yourself) and enjoy spending some time as an individual rather than a couple.
2. Have two cars
If finances permit, having two cars is a great way to preserve your independence. Not having to rely on someone for a ride, or having to explain where you’re going, means you can just get up and go when the mood strikes.
3. Keep your own bank account
Most couples find that a joint account is ideal for paying bills and the mortgage. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have another account with your own money in it that you can spend on your own terms. Use it to treat yourself, to save up for something special, or even to buy nice things for the house that your partner may not think are essential.
4. Try taking yourself out on a date
Is there a movie you really want to see, or a restaurant you’d love to try – but your partner isn’t keen? That doesn’t mean you can’t go on your own. Spending some time on your own is a great way to enjoy some peace and quiet without the need to fill the silence with idle chitchat.
5. Take a trip solo or with friends
Making a road trip in order to go and visit your sister or friend can be lots of fun, and gives your partner a chance to do the same. You can spend the time catching up rather than worrying about whether your partner is having a good time.
6. Keep surprising each other
Wouldn’t you love it if your partner sent you off for the afternoon and prepared your favourite meal for that night? Or if you surprised them with a gift that you had picked up for them while your were out? The element of surprise is a great way to keep the spark in your relationship, and it’s lots of fun too.
How do you spend time alone as part of a couple? Share in the comments below.
Related links:
The one word to avoid when arguing with your partner
Over60 community share their beautiful proposal stories
Advice I wish I could give my 20-year-old self about love