7 rules for fighting fair, according to science
Have you ever had a fight with your partner where you jokingly fantasized about smothering them with your pillow later that night? Do you remember how much energy and time you spent stewing about the argument in the days after, where you rehashed the fight over and over looking for answers? Well apparently this is actually some harmful to your health that it’s a potential killer.
1. Petty arguments are VERY bad for your health
Yes, that’s right, fighting over the remote or whether your neighbour’s new car is actually a really light green or a very pale blue can lead to an early death. Does it seem so important now?
Some researchers at the University of Copenhagen found that those who were sweating the small stuff on a regular basis “had about 50 to 100 percent likelihood of dying from life threatening health conditions.” Sounds like now is the time to take a step back and let it go.
2. You can actually go to bed angry
While you may want to resolve the issues at hand before you hit the sack, it’s not always the best option. Sleeping in separate rooms while you cool off can actually be beneficial to your relationship. Often we find that in the light of day, the argument is no longer worth finishing anyway.
3. The males are more affected
Have you noticed that it’s often men dying at an early age from strokes and heart problems? It could be due to fighting. Research has shown that it’s the males who suffer the most stress from a partnership where fighting is the norm.
4. Arguing when hungry is never a good idea
If you’re already a grump when you’re hungry, try throwing in some lost keys or a forgotten anniversary and see how that makes you feel. There’s no point continuing the fight when all you really need is a sandwich. Shelve the fight, have some food, and then see how you really feel about it later. Chances are, it’s not as serious as it was pre-snack.
5. Touching can minimise the damage
If it feels like the right thing to do, touching your partner’s arm or body during an argument can actually help reduce the anger. And who knows, it may be just a step or two from ending up in the bedroom for some great make up sex. Well, maybe.
6. Be aware that children can be part of the problem
It’s not surprising that being a parent can make things even more tense between partners. If it’s not money issues, it could be problems with sibling relationships or even trying to work out where to have Christmas. Be aware of it and remember that it’s perfectly normal to argue when there are kids involved.
7. Bottling up your feelings is bad for your health
While it’s not a good idea to fight all day about who did or didn’t take out the rubbish, it’s also not ideal to keep your feelings bottled up inside of you. Being able to speak openly to your partner is important, so long as you feel as though you are being heard. There is a big difference between arguing the point and fighting.