Relationships
5 surprising ways to better communicate with your partner
Open, conducive communication with your partner can be difficult at times, even if you’ve been together for years. Our busy lives coupled with some people’s struggle to articulate their feelings means that relationships have the tendency to suffer, especially when feelings or emotions are bottled up. New research, however, has found that deep and meaningful conversations aren’t the only ones that are important when it comes to building a happy and healthy relationship. Here are five, and somewhat surprising, ways to improve your communication.
- Make small talk – While chatting about the weather or what your grandkids got up to earlier in the day may seem trivial, small talk has been shown to impact very positively on a relationship. Talking about the little things forms the basis of what is termed “detailed inquiry” and helps show that both parties are actively interested in each other’s lives.
- Share experiences – Whether it’s an exciting activity or just a very enjoyable trip to a favourite café, sharing your experiences creates a feeling of connections and contentment. It’s often easy to share the “big things” that happen, packed as they are with excitement and/or “newness” but sharing the little things, just like with small talk, helps both parties feel included, wanted and needed.
- Listen carefully – It can be very easy to partially switch off during conversations with your partner, especially when you’ve got a whole heap of other things on your mind. You may listen with one ear while thinking about the grocery shopping you need to do or plans for that nights’ dinner. While this is perfectly normal, applying some “active listening” skills on a regular basis can be great for strengthening your relationship. Knowing that you are being heard is one of the experiences most likely to cement a feeling of connection to another.
- Ask questions and listen for the responses – When you’re in a long-term relationship it can be easy to pre-empt the response to a question. Allowing your partner to answer for themself, especially if they’ve had time to consider the question, may yield a response you hadn’t considered.
- Talk about yourself but not all the time – Sharing your thoughts and experiences is important but allowing your partner to do the same is critical. Work towards finding a good balance between sharing and listening as it’ll be hugely beneficial for both partners.
Related links:
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