I found my first love after 41 years and now we’re happily married
Julie met her husband Ian 41 years ago when they were just 18-years-old. They fell in love but lost touch – until two years ago. Ian found Julie on Facebook and they reconnected. Seven months later, they got married. Here is their love story told from Julie and Ian’s perspective.
Julie:
We first met when I was working for the PMG Forrest Place as a telephonist in 1975. I had been informed that there was going to be a meet and greet dance at the pagoda ballroom Como for an incoming Navy ship from the UK and as it was my night off I decided to attend. I arrived at the Pagoda Ballroom and immediately spotted the most handsome guy I had ever laid eyes on – it was definitely love at first sight. However, he didn’t appear to notice me until his friends advised him I was eyeing him off. He finally got up the nerve to ask me for a dance. We danced and had a few drinks until it was time to go home. Ian gave me the phone number for his ship HMS AJAX which was docked at Fremantle. I went home in a daze. At 18 years of age I had found the love of my life.
In the morning I spoke to my parents about Ian and they suggested I invite him to stay at our home for the weekend, as we’re originally from the UK. I rang the ship and asked for Able Seaman Ian Armstrong. We spoke for a short time and I asked him if he would like to come stay at my parent’s place as I could show him the sights of Perth. He agreed.
Unbeknown to me at the time, Ian had had a few too many drinks the night before and wasn't sure who Julie was until his mate said, “She was the dish you were dancing with last night”. When I arrived to collect Ian all his mates were whistling and giving him a hard time but as soon as our eyes met we both fell more in love. I just couldn't believe my luck me of all people to have this guy.
Whilst Ian's ship was docked in Fremantle we spent as much time together as we could. My parents and brother made Ian feel very welcome and he is the only boyfriend I have ever had that they all have approved. He was a total gentleman and always polite.
When Ian sailed away on HMS AJAX I had already decided he was going to be my husband. We both agreed to write and keep in touch. I was heartbroken he had to leave but it was his job and career; his ship was on a world tour of 11 months. After Ian sailed I told my parents that he was the man for me.
Ian and I wrote for weeks and he asked me to go to Adelaide to join him for Christmas. When I arrived at Adelaide airport, my dream man Ian was there waiting for me. We spent Christmas and New Year together and Ian asked me to marry him. I accepted and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do was to get on the plane to fly home. I spoke to my parents about my going back to the UK to live so I could be with Ian. They were very surprised as I’d been back to the UK last year and hated it! Ian and I kept writing for months. He got teased as I would write to him on lavender paper and spray it with perfume.
But one day I rang Ian's parents to let them know that I was going to come live in the UK but I’d would live with my family until Ian got back. His mum told me he didn't want anything to do with me and that he already had a fiancée and was going to marry her. I was devastated so I stopped writing to Ian and decided to join to RAAF.
I joined the RAAF in September 1976 and got posted to Darwin where I met my first husband. I was on the rebound from Ian as I was still in love with him. I married my first husband, also named Ian, in 1977 and went on to have three wonderful children. We travelled around Australia who was still in the RAAF. We finally got out of the RAAF in 1995 after Ian had completed 20 years, we bought a home and carried on with our lives. But Ian was never far from my thoughts and every 10th March, I’d always wish him a very happy birthday.
My husband and I eventually broke up after 25 years of marriage and I stayed single for the next four years. Then I met my second husband on the internet, which was a mistake from the beginning, but I was lonely. Even after all these years I still thought about Ian. I married my second husband in August 2006 and it was up and down until 2014 when I walked out on the marriage and his daughters as I was very unhappy.
I had lost touch with one of my sons because of husband number two but I still had my other son and daughter and all my grandchildren. I spoke to my daughter and told her my plan was to go to the UK in December 2015. I had decided the trip was to look for Ian, but I didn’t tell my family or kids that.
Then in February 2015 I got a text message from my brother asking if I remembered an Ian Malcom Armstrong. I couldn't believe it! I rang my brother and he told me Ian had messaged my sister-in-law (who has the same first and last name as me) on Facebook twice; once in November 2014 and then in February 2015. I messaged Ian straight away and said I'm the Julie Penfold you are looking for. My stomach was flip-flopping while I waited for him to contact me. I couldn’t wait, I rang him and we spoke… it was like we had never ever been apart.
Ian and I spoke every day; I told him all about my life, that I was married but getting a divorce. I told Ian about my children, my grandchildren, my friends and family. I had been estranged from my parents for a long time due to a family falling out as well as my parents not liking my first husband. I contacted my mum and told her about Ian. She was so happy and said if he came here she would love to see him.
Ian and I spoke over the phone many, many times. Then we decided to marry – yes, even though we hadn’t seen each other for 40 years. It didn’t matter, we made arrangements for Ian to fly from the UK to Perth. Ian was on his way here when someone had a heart attack on his flight and they had to divert to Singapore. I was so scared it was Ian as he’s had a heart attack and two TIAS (mini strokes) and one major stroke in the past. When he finally rang me I just cried with relief to hear his voice.
Ian arrived in Perth on 3 June 2015, I was so excited to see him and everything I had ever felt for him was there on the surface; our feelings for each other had not diminished.
Later that week, I invited my whole family to a small welcome party for Ian. All my family were so happy to see Ian and made him so welcome, it was fabulous. Ian asked my dad for my hand in marriage. Dad said yes, so Ian proceeded to get down on one knee in front of my family and asked me to marry him. I said yes yes yes.
Since then we have been on a holiday to Bali twice and to Singapore once. We are going to Bali again in April. Ian has been by my side when I was rushed to theatre for life-threatening surgery. I have been by his side when he had a mild heart attack a few months ago.
We married on the 14 May 2016 and it was the best wedding of all. We are so happy and we’re as much in love s we were 41 years ago.
Ian:
I joined the Royal Navy in 1973 and hope at an early age I would look forward to travelling. In the summer of 1975 I left England for an 11-month world deployment. I was lucky enough to visit Fremantle on board my ship HMS AJAX. Having been at sea for a while, we were looking forward to some shore time and sightseeing.
One of the evenings I was in Fremantle, myself and some friends went to a dance at the Pagoda ballroom in Perth. During the evening, which held a special time in my life, I noticed a very attractive young lady and we made eye contact. I asked her to dance and I found out her name was Julie. We talked and danced together for most of the evening and exchanged phone numbers. I hoped we would see each other again during my visit to Fremantle.
The following morning, I received a phone call whilst working in the helicopter hangar. I was surprised to hear it was Julie. I was very surprised she had told her family about me, and invited me to stay with them for a few days so I could see more of Julie and the sights. During my stay I had a fantastic time and even hired a plane to fly to Rottnest. I had a fantastic few days and was so happy that we had grown so close together over such a short period of time.
When we left Fremantle we promised to keep in touch over the coming months. Julie and I wrote to each other nearly every day and we were becoming closer and closer. I visited Melbourne and was constantly getting letters from Julie written on purple scented paper in purple envelopes, much to the amusement of my shipmates. We were due to sail on exercise before calling into Adelaide for Christmas and New Year, 1975.
We spoke to each other by telephone constantly. We began to realise there was something very special and we thought it would be lovely for us to spend Christmas together in Adelaide. I met Julie at Adelaide Airport and when we saw each other we knew where our future was heading. We had such an intimate time in Adelaide and I knew I wanted us to be together, I knew I wanted to be with Julie. I was extremely happy and very much in love. I wanted to keep her so much so that I proposed to Julie on Christmas Day. She burst into tears and said yes and this is where our journey began.
During the coming months, we carried on writing and I was hoping to transfer to the Royal Australian Navy. Over the next few months for family and military reasons we were unable to be together. We were devastated by this and sadly lost touch.
I never stopped thinking of my sweetheart but went on to marry. I had photos of Julie which I kept close to my heart and hoped that one day we would meet again. As the years went by and computers and social media came along, I started my search. I learnt how to use the internet and Facebook. It became my wish to contact Julie again.
I wrote to newspapers in Perth to try and find her but had no success. Over the coming years, I contacted on social media every Julie Penfold in Western Australia. I had no response but in February, 2015, and purely by accident, I saw a Julie Penfold that for some reason caught my eye.
It was not my Julie but amazingly it was, in fact her sister-in-law who was also called Julie Penfold. Julie didn't know me but found out her husband, Mark, was in fact my Julie's brother. The jigsaw was coming together and I only had one piece left.
One day I was out in my garden when my mobile phone rang. I didn't recognise the number but I answered. A lady said hello. I could not believe it, I instantly knew it was Julie. My jigsaw was complete. I couldn't believe that after all this time I had managed to contact my love. We spoke on the phone several times a day for a few months. Each time we spoke our love grew stronger and we decided we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. On the 31 May, 2015, I left the UK and flew to Perth to be with Julie.
Since I have been here I have become part of a new family who I love dearly and have been accepted me 100 per cent. We have travelled around WA and been to Bali and Singapore on holiday. We are now going to spend the rest of our lives together.
Do you have an inspiring story to share? We’d love to hear it. Head over to Over60’s Share your story page today. You never know, your story might just be the inspiration someone needs.
Related links:
Over 70s share their love life advice
Advice I wish I could give my 20-year-old self about love
Over60 community share their beautiful proposal stories