4 steps to make up after a terrible fight
Having a fight with someone you care about is awful. Here, ‘fight’ means one of those times when the disagreement is so strong that your belly fills with bubbling lava and you feel like you may never calm down enough to even see straight. Those times are trying for any relationship, and almost everyone experiences them at different stages in their lives.
What’s important to remember is that a fight, no matter how vicious, does not have to mean the end of a relationship – as long as the weapons are words, if physical attacks are used at all, it’s time to say goodbye. Here are some helpful things you can do to help start the healing process once the fight has blown itself out.
1. Breathe deeply until you feel calm. Remember that you don’t have to shake hands as soon as the fight is over, but try to begin thinking about moving on. Do this by taking some deep breaths each time your brain starts to get worked up about the fight. While you’re concentrating on breathing, try to shift your perspective a little so you’re ready to heal.
2. Accept and apologise for anything you may have done wrong. It’s important to remember that you alone are responsible for your actions, and it’s up to you to take ownership for that. Don’t get carried away and accept the blame for the entire fight unless, after careful reflection, you truly feel that it was your doing. More often than not, however, it takes two to tango.
3. Sit down together with the person (or people) with whom you had the fight, and make a conscious effort to work out your issues. Be honest and frank during these discussions because if you don’t, you may just end up papering over a crack that needs more serious rehabilitation.
4. Move forward with maturity. Sometimes a fight reveals deep differences between people, and no amount of talking is going to change that. But the discovery of these differences need not mean the end of a relationship. If you cannot find common ground upon which you can stand, then make your truce upon the promise of, “agree to disagree”. This next part is vital – you must mean it. Your relationship won’t survive if you hold onto resentment and anger. It’s difficult, but you can do it if you put your mind to it.
What’s your best tip for making up after a bad fight? Let us know in the comments below.