Love and hate are two sides of the same coin
Margaret Cunningham is a hobby writer who particularly enjoys writing articles with a reflective viewpoint. A lifelong passion of health and fitness means she is known in her community as ‘that lady who runs’.
Love and hate - the two most powerful feelings in the world. Our emotions are ruled by them. Indeed, every other emotion seems to stem from these two simple four-letter words. Things like jealousy, longsuffering, greed, compassion, despair, and redemption depend on love or hate for existence. And the major themes of love and hate are always active in global news. More so hate. The bottomless pit of hate and the carnage left in its wake is profitable business for the news industry. Hate generates most of the major newsworthy events around the world.
From time to time I become quite overwhelmed at the scale of hate filled crimes - mortified by our seemingly unlimited capacity for human depravity. War, rape, torture, crimes against gender, colour and cultures. Shootings, serial killings, the Holocaust and religious atrocities have littered our history and are still equally prevalent today. And at times the sheer magnitude of hate makes me feel powerless to effect any change. My belief and hope for peace and a better world becomes fragile and tenuous.
But every now and then ‘something’ comes along that restores my hope. This happened when I came across two news items published on the same day, on the same website. One the powerful story of love where we read of how one man’s hate, and vow of revenge for his son’s murderer’s, turns to forgiveness. The other story, the brutal consequences of hate, where we see the ruthless shooting of a black man by Dallas police officers and then the retributive slayings of five white police officers. Love and hate, two sides of the same coin, the two most powerful emotions in the world in action.
Hate is active in both these stories. That’s not surprising because hate is easy, especially if it feels justified.
In his article The Differences Between Love and Hate, Jeff Campagna says, “Our world’s history is so riddled with hateful people and hateful acts we seem used to it, and when those hateful people act out against other hateful people, and all the hate starts to fly back and forth, it feels as if it is right, as if it is normal. Hate is our status quo. To get to love, one must pass hate. Most people, in their weak and sedated state, just stop at hate. It’s closer.”
Iafeta Matalasi describes his anger over his sons murder as ‘frothing fury’. For months it was all about fury and Samoan justice. When he was asked how he travelled from blind fury to forgiveness Matalasi talked of catching a glimpse of what his future would look like if he channelled all his hate into action.
“I just looked around and all I could visualise was me, inside a cage, holding bars, and my whole family outside. When I saw that I didn’t like it.”
Yes, hate has its own prison. Although he had committed no crime, Matalasi felt he was already behind bars. Hate imprisons the hater as well as the hated. Thankfully love reasoned and won with Matalasi.
But while hate may be the easier of the love/hate emotions, love is by far the hardest, the bravest and most courageous of options. Like hate, ‘love’ is also a highly profitable and marketable business. People carry such wrong notions about Love. Love has become a two-way street. People forget that love is a one-way street. These days people only love only if they are loved or get something in return.
Love cannot be found through external influence. Love does not come in to you; love can only come out of you. We spend a lot of time searching for love. I know I did. We search for it everywhere, in people, power, wealth, beauty and status. But love is not about performance or doing or going anywhere – it is just about being. No one can learn to love by following a manual. Love does not force its will on anybody, we cannot control it, there is no economic value and love is impossible to measure. But love takes guts especially in the face of injustice. It is the greatest weapon we have – yes have, all of us and it cannot be enforced through reforms, legislation or government policy. You can’t love to order - you have to be the love itself because loves steps are experienced not legislated.
Well-known black American civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr dedicated his life to the civil rights movement. And despite his own, and America’s history of hate against black people, he was a man captured by love for his enemies. He said:
“Returning violence for violence multiplies violence,
adding a deeper darkness to the night
already devoid of stars.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness:
only love can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate:
only love can do that.”
King also said that love is ultimately the only answer to humankind’s problems. He had seen so much hate and found the burden too much to bear so he decided to love. What an incredible man, and it brings the answer to humankind’s problems a lot closer to home. The choice to love or hate belongs to us, as both exist in us - you and me. Don’t rely on government to fix this. I know this will irk many of you, but we won’t get there without divine help. We won’t get there without God, because God is Love – nothing more – nothing less. The whole alchemy of Love is inside you not outside.
I have often thought we do a huge disservice to God. We have blurred the lines between religion and God so successfully they have become one. Mention God and people talk about religion. Our appalling history of crime in the name of religion, has become a good excuse, our ‘proof’ for not believing in God. I see the relationship between God and religion as quite separate. God is love – there is nothing you need to do, belong to, or duties to perform to know God. You know God already.
Love and hate – two sides of the same coin. King believed that someone who hates does not know God, but someone who loves has the key that unlocks the door to the meaning of ultimate reality. Could it be that this ‘love’ will ultimately be the key to peace? Could it be that I can do something to effect change? That my feelings of powerlessness were my choice not to do anything. If Love resides inside of me then Love can only come out of me, which means I can do something. Choosing love will be hates inescapable downfall.