How to best navigate a marriage breakdown
The end of a relationship can be an incredibly difficult time in your life – even if you were unhappy for a long period of time prior to the breakup. Dealing with all of the challenges that come along with a dissolving marriage or long-term relationship looks different for everyone, but there are some things you should try to avoid in the aftermath of the breakup, as well as a couple that we recommend you try to remember.
1. DO practice self-care
In the wake of a difficult break-up, many of us have a tendency to spiral into bad habits, or just plain forget to take care of ourselves. It’s important to remember that just because your relationship has come to an end, your life is very much still ahead of you, so you need to take care of yourself. Don’t stop exercising or eating nutritious meals; do lean on friends who offer a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear. Don’t wallow in what you might have done wrong, or would do differently now; do seek out activities that occupy your mind and make you happy.
2. DON’T jump into another relationship
Even if you feel like your relationship was over long before the day it officially ended, it’s still important to take time for yourself before you move on to anything serious. So close to a relationship’s end, it can be difficult to see what exactly went wrong, and to be objective about what you would do differently moving forward.
3. DO consider seeking professional help
The American Psychologist Association recommends seeking professional help, even if only at first, so that you can look constructively and gently at what happened to your relationship, what your needs are going forward, and what you envision your life to look like with another partner.
4. DON’T make big decisions
Your emotions are sure to be conflicted at this time in your life, so although you might feel the need for massive changes, try to hold off on making any big or costly decisions for at least a few weeks. If you’re unsure about things, try talking them over with a close friend or family member, and ask them to be completely honest with you.
5. DO limit your contact with your ex-partner
It can feel strange, even wrong, to go from seeing your partner every day of your life to suddenly spending your days without them. The temptation to see them is understandably strong, but it’s a good idea to resist that urge. Interacting with a recent ex can stir up a lot of feelings, and leave you confused about why the relationship ended in the first place.
If you’ve gone through a divorce or relationship breakdown, what advice would you give to others?