8 relationship myths (and why they’re wrong)
Everyone has an opinion on relationships – and they are always keen to share them with you. So it can be hard to know if your relationship is healthy or if you’re behaving in the “right” way. Here are eight popular relationship myths that you should ignore.
Myth 1: Happy couples don’t argue
What a long and boring life it would be if you were never allowed to fight with your partner. People disagree and there’s no point suppressing all your feelings in the hope they will go away. They key is to learn how to fight well – avoid saying unnecessarily nasty things, accept that you might be wrong sometimes and learn to let things go no matter how mad they made you at the time.
Myth 2: Honesty is the best policy
Yes and no. We’re not suggesting that you should deliberately deceive your partner, but sometimes a little white lie keeps everyone happy and avoids hurt feelings. Maybe you think their new friend from work is an insufferable bore, but is it really worth starting a fight over?
Myth 3: Good relationships don’t require work
Reaching your career goals requires work. Getting fit requires work. Mastering a new skill requires work. So why shouldn’t a relationship require work? This myth wants people to believe that being in love negates the need for hard work and that everything will just fall neatly into line. This may be true in the very beginning of a relationship, but over time you will need to work together to create the relationship you want.
Myth 4: Your partner should know why you’re angry
They are your partner, not a psychic. You might think that they should instinctively know what’s wrong because you are so in tune with each other. This is very rarely the case. If you’re mad, tell them why and work it out together.
Myth 5: There’s a “right” number of times a week to be having sex
The only right number is the number that works for you. Don’t compare your sex life to your friends, to TV shows or to statistics you read in a magazine. If one or both of you aren’t happy with the frequency then you need to have a discussion, but don’t try to compare yourself to others.
Myth 6: A great relationship must begin with a great romance
We blame books and movies for this one. People expect all great relationships to start with a bang, with passion and fireworks and madness. But plenty of happy couples started out with a whisper, perhaps as friends or coworkers, and then developed slowly into something more. Don’t think your relationship has less value because it took a different route.
Myth 7: Your partner should be your best friend
If they are, that’s fantastic. But you can’t expect one person to meet all of your needs in life and it actually places a lot of pressure on your partner to expect them to. When you’re in a healthy relationship it is still perfectly reasonable to have a best friend outside of it. It doesn’t mean you are less happy with your partner, it just means you’re human.
Myth 8: Happy couples should share common interests
Some couples happily bond over their shared love of marathon running, fishing, scrapbooking or foreign films. But if you don’t enjoy your partner’s favourite hobbies don’t force yourself to participate. It will only lead to tension and conflict. There’s nothing wrong with doing your own thing.
Related links:
14 secrets of couples who stay together forever
The two reasons people are unfaithful
Childhood sweethearts celebrate 70 years of marriage