4 tips to help you learn the art of saying no
Saying no to an invitation or declining a request for a favour can be a difficult task for many people – especially those who like to please others – but it’s a good skill to have, because it could save you from getting roped into situations you’d rather avoid, or just plain don’t have time for. So here are some handy hints to help you learn the art of letting people down gently.
1. It’s not the end of the world
Don’t think that you saying no to helping someone move house or politely declining a coffee catch up is going to devastate the other person. They likely have a backup (or several) they plan to ask, so try not to let guilt wash over you and ruin your day when you say no.
2. Little white lies help soften the blow
This is especially helpful when declining romantic advances or breaking off a relationship. Fudging the truth can help ease the blow so that you don’t leave the other person a crumpled-up piece of paper lying on the floor because you value honesty over everything. Even if the decision was an easy one, tell them you struggled with it. If you don’t like their personality, tell them that the chemistry is off. But remember to be firm and direct so you don’t confuse the situation with mixed signals.
3. Use humour to lighten the moment
When a friend or colleague asks you to do something you’d rather not do, a funny delivery can help soften the blow of a simple no. Even if you don’t have a “good reason” for turning them down, being funny will hopefully leave them with a smile on their face. This one depends upon a quick wit, so if landing a joke or coming up with something funny on the spot isn’t your thing, then this might not be your best option.
4. Don’t put it off
If you know you’re going to say no to someone, then putting off that moment is just rude to the other person. If you need a little time to put together your response in a way that isn’t hurtful, then take that time, but don’t leave them dangling. Not only are you being impolite, you’re also denying them the opportunity to move along and ask someone else.
What’s your best tip for letting someone down gently?