The two things people judge you on when they meet you
When we first meet people, we size each other up instantly, but what are we actually evaluating? And how can we make a first impressions go well?
Amy Cuddy, a Harvard Business School professor, and fellow psychologists Susan Fiske and Peter Glick, have been studying first impression for more than 15 years. In that time, they’ve discovered a pattern in human’s first interactions.
In her book Presence, Cuddy says people instantly (and mostly unconsciously) answer these two questions when they first meet you:
- Can I trust this person?
- Can I respect this person?
Psychologist call it warmth and competence, and ideally you want to come across as having both. However, Cuddy says most people tend to look for and believe competence is the more significant factor. In fact, psychologist say warmth and trustworthiness is actually far more important in how people evaluate you.
"From an evolutionary perspective," Cuddy says, "it is more crucial to our survival to know whether a person deserves our trust."
Cuddy adds, "If someone you're trying to influence doesn't trust you, you're not going to get very far; in fact, you might even elicit suspicion because you come across as manipulative.”
"A warm, trustworthy person who is also strong elicits admiration, but only after you've established trust does your strength become a gift rather than a threat."
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