Given up on dating? Then you need to read this!
Getting back into the dating game later in life can be a challenge, no doubt about it. When you continually put yourself out there only to be met with disappointment, it can be exhausting, disheartening and drive anyone to declare, “I give up!” It’s become so common that a phrase was coined: dating fatigue, which is defined as the result of continuing dating, over time, with perceived lack of success in finding a high quality partner. So if you’re suffering from “dating fatigue” and feeling discouraged from all the less-than-compatible fish in the sea, here are five tips to beat it.
Ease the pressure
If you turn up to every date with high expectations then the pressure is sure to mount. It’s not that you shouldn’t have high standards but don’t pin hope, dreams and expectations on one date. A date is just a date. It’s a meet-up with someone who you may or may not get along with. If you don’t expect to find the one at every date it will be much less stressful and exhausting. Just aim to have fun. If it turns out badly, then leave and have a laugh when retelling the stories to friend. If it turns out well, all the better.
Balance your perspective
The realities of dating, whether the traditional way or online dating, is that you will meet your fair share of bad eggs and have a few awful dates. People lie, people have less-than-good intentions and, well, with some people you simply won’t have any connection at all. Don’t take it as a sign or a reflection on you. Finding someone you have a connection with is difficult and sometimes you will have to sift through all the bad apples first. Prepare yourself for some disappointment and it won’t hit so hard, but when these moments happen, move pass them swiftly. There are good apples out there. Maintain a balance perspective and you should feel more control in the dating process.
Take some time for yourself
You know that saying “dating is a marathon, not a sprint”? If it’s a marathon then you need to make sure you take care of yourself. If dating is making you stressed, anxious or worried, then take a break! Schedule some freeze days (one week or two week blocks work) and stop all dating-related activities on these days. Don’t look at your online profile and stop chatting or texting. This is time for you to refuel and re-energise. Once you’ve spent a bit of “me time” next time you have a date, you’ll feel refreshed and enthusiastic.
Try other things
The dating game is just one way to find love. Open yourself up to new things that aren’t specific to looking for love and you might be surprise what follows. Volunteer, find a course to study, try meeting up with a hobby group and you’ll meet loads of new people. Friendship is the foundation of any good relationship so look for more friends. Who knows what might eventuate?
Don’t give up
If you are truly happy being single then that’s great – of course, you don’t need a partner to make you happy in life. But if you’re giving up because you’ve had several bad dates and it just seems too difficult to persist, then don’t! You aren’t going to find someone if you stop trying and if you do want to find a companion then resolve to not to give up. It doesn’t mean you can’t take a hiatus from dating but know that you’re coming back. You won’t find someone if you’re not open to the possibility so believe in the best about yourself and believe that someone great is looking too.
Related links:
25 ways to be happier (and why your relationship depends on it)
How to tell people about your divorce
Why some people take breakups harder than others