The two reasons people are unfaithful
While it seems the reasons for why people cheat are as varied as the number of adulterers out in the world, according to researchers why people cheat can be boiled down to two main causes: boredom and the need for emotional support.
The first category applies to people who are not particularly happy with their sex lives, even if the sex isn’t that bad, according to Pepper Schwartz, a professor of sociology at the University of Washington.
“They've been in a relationship for a long time, and they long for the excitement of something new,” Professor Schwartz told Live Science.
These people aren’t necessarily unhappy in their relationships, or want to leave the marriage, but are looking for excitement, passion and thrills.
“Oftentimes, these people aren't actively looking for an affair, but they take advantage of meeting a cute crush at a conference, workplace or reunion,” says Professor Schwartz.
The second category of people, however, are deeply unhappy in their relationships.
"They don't want to leave for various reasons – children, money, you name it – but they're just sort of aching for something that's emotionally reinforcing," Schwartz said. "And a lot of people use sex for that and pursue another relationship."
These two reasons are more nuanced than that of course, but social researchers consistently find that the predominant belief that cheaters cheat because they’ve either fallen out of love or are simply seeking sex are simple not true.
“It could be a ho-hum sex life, but you don't have to have a bad sex life to cheat, and you don't have to be out of love with your partner to cheat,” Schwartz says.
Duana Welch, a relationship expert and author of Love Factually, agrees, telling DailyMail: “The vast majority of cheaters aren't wilful philanderers, but instead wind up getting involved almost by accident rather than by design.”
She explains, “Science shows that the progression goes like this: They meet at work, where they're thrown together again and again. First, they tell themselves and each other that they're attracted, but that they'd never act on it, because they're happily married. Their second mistake is building emotional walls in their marriage, and windows with their co-worker. Third, they start spending time together away from the office, whether on lunches, dinners, or business trips. This is usually when they physical side of the affair begins.”