Is happiness really what we’re after in retirement?
Megan Giles, retirement designer for women, supports and coaches women approaching retirement to successfully transition and create a lifestyle that is fulfilling, meaningful to them and lights them up each day.
I was recently having a conversation with a switched-on and highly successful lady who was looking forward to the change of motivators and drivers in retirement – i.e. we get to focus on what is important to us rather than what motivates our bosses. This, however, raised a question with others – is it actually healthy to strive to be “happy” (i.e. cheerful) all of the time?
In big organisations the focus tends to be on results – increased volume, greater stakeholder satisfaction, higher profits and so on. We may feel that the business strategies are not aligned with our personal values, and the cynic in us predicts that the latest and greatest idea will never work (again…). As you’ve probably found for yourself, this can actually be quite de-motivating. We therefore anticipate greater happiness (and certainly less frustration) in retirement because we no longer have to be responsive to the latest “pop term” or political whim.
Is happiness what we are truly seeking?
Can we really be happy all the time? And if we’re pretending that everything is hunky-dory all of the time, will that make it more difficult for us to ask for help when things are tough?
Being in that moment of happiness is a wonderful thing – that deep belly laugh can be invigorating and that special event can make you smile when you think of it even years later. But do we want to strive to be happy all of the time? If feeling happy is a measure of success, does that inadvertently mean that we are a failure if we are not feeling happy? I think that it is a valid question and there is research to support this.
We all experience hardships, things don’t always go to plan and sometimes we simply have an “off” day. This doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with us. Sad moments remind us to truly appreciate the good in the world, and setbacks enable us to learn and grow. Until we find ourselves out of our comfort zone we never really know how we are going to react.
It is the richness of human experience, both positive and negative, that shapes who we are and our values.
Focus on fulfilment over happiness
So perhaps we should instead focus on fulfilment. Fulfilment refers to a deeper sense of satisfaction about the purpose in one’s life. It’s about getting clear on what you value and your goals so that when life throws you a curve-ball you can respond from a position of strength. Visiting a loved one in hospital may create a sense of sadness and helplessness, particularly if they are in pain, however, you may be content in the knowledge that you are able to; visit them, ensure that they do not feel alone, and support them in their recovery. You may not be happy in that moment but you can feel confident that in time a sense of happiness will return.
So no, striving to be happy 100 per cent of the time is unlikely a healthy pursuit, however, knowing what makes you happy and lights you up is critical in creating a lifestyle in retirement that is meaningful to you. As women we tend to take care of others before ourselves and so it is important to reflect on what brings us joy and ensure that this is weaved into the decisions we make. In being true to ourselves we are then in a better position to give to others, thus creating a sense of connectedness and ultimately fulfilment in life after work.
What are the things that you enjoy, that make you smile but that you just never quite get around to doing? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below.
First appeared on Megan Giles' blog. For more great retirement advice please visit her website.
Related links:
The simple yet powerful tool to plan your retirement
Retirement doesn’t have to sap your self-esteem