Clive Palmer's plans to build Titanic II resurface
Just when you thought we'd exhausted all of the possible billionaire pet projects, Clive Palmer, the Queensland mining magnate with pockets deeper than the Mariana Trench, has once again proven us wrong.
For more than a decade now, Palmer has harboured a peculiar obsession: resurrecting the ghost of the Titanic, the world's most infamous maritime disaster.
Palmer wants to build Titanic II, because when you've got more money than you can count, why not embark on a maritime venture that's already synonymous with catastrophe?
Palmer, with the audacity only wealth can afford, has been pushing for this Titanic replica since 2012. Not content with merely one failed attempt, he launched the project again in 2018. Now, after another six years and a global pandemic, he's dusting off his captain's hat and setting sail once more, announcing the Titanic II's re-launch at the Sydney Opera House (because when you're Clive Palmer, a press conference venue like the local community centre just doesn't cut it).
But why, you may ask? According to Palmer himself, it's a simple matter of economics: "I’ve got two options, either give my wife more money for shopping or spend it on the Titanic and I’m spending it on the Titanic because she’s shopped enough."
Ah, yes, the age-old dilemma of whether to buy your spouse another designer handbag or fund a one-billion-dollar replica of a ship that sank over a century ago. We've all been there.
Despite the naysayers who dismissed Palmer's dream as nothing more than the folly of a rich eccentric, he remains undeterred. Now, with the pandemic in the rearview mirror and cruise ships once again cruising, Palmer sees this as the perfect time to resurrect his Titanic dream. Because what better way to celebrate the end of a global health crisis than by building a monument to maritime tragedy?
Palmer assures us that this time around, things will be different. The plans are similar to previous iterations, but now they comply with current regulations. Tenders are being sought, with plans to confirm a shipbuilder by year's end with the intention of setting sail by 2027.
And what can prospective passengers expect from this seafaring spectacle? Well, according to Palmer's team, an eight-minute video featuring period costumes and a layout straight out of the early 1900s. Passengers will even be encouraged to dress the part (though that's not compulsory; nothing screams "fun vacation" like wearing corsets and three-piece suits in the middle of the ocean).
But fear not, third-class passengers, you won't be left out of this Titanic experience. You'll get to enjoy stew and mash at communal dining tables, just like the good old days. Although, for those who prefer their meals without a side of historical accuracy, other options will be available.
In amongst of all this, Palmer has grandiose visions of Titanic II as a symbol of world peace. “We all know how to make war," he announced at the press launch. "We get armies and we fund wars. People know about that. But it is a lot harder to make peace. To make peace you have got to stick with it every day. You progress inch by inch.
“Titanic ll is something that can provide peace. It can be a ship of peace between all countries of the world. Millions have dreamt of sailing on her, seeing her in port and experiencing her unique majesty. Titanic ll will be the ship where those dreams come true.”
So, as Palmer sets sail on his quixotic quest to recreate history, we can't help but wonder: Is Titanic II a testament to human ingenuity or just another billionaire's folly? Only time will tell. But if history has taught us anything, it's that sometimes, even the grandest dreams can end up at the bottom of the ocean.
Images: Rod Eime / Wikimedia