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How do children learn good manners?

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sophia-waters-501831">Sophia Waters</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a> Ensuring kids have manners is a <a href="https://tidsskrift.dk/sss/article/view/135074">perennial preoccupation</a> for parents and caregivers. How, then, do you teach good manners to children? Modelling good manners around the home and in your own interaction with others is obviously crucial. But there’s a clear <a href="https://tidsskrift.dk/sss/article/view/135074">uniting theme</a> when it comes to manners in Australia: in Australian English, good manners centre on honouring personal autonomy, egalitarianism and not appearing to tell people what to do. <h2>Which manners matter most in Australia?</h2> Some of the most important manners in Australian English are behavioural edicts that focus on particular speech acts: greeting, requesting, thanking and apologising. These speech acts have a <a href="https://tidsskrift.dk/sss/article/view/135074/179857">set of words</a> associated with them: <ul> <li>hello</li> <li>hi</li> <li>may I please…?</li> <li>could I please…?</li> <li>thank you</li> <li>ta</li> <li>sorry</li> <li>excuse me.</li> </ul> Good manners make people feel comfortable in social situations by adding predictability and reassurance. They can act as signposts in interactions. Anglo cultures place a lot of weight on <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0378216612001014">egalitarianism</a>, personal autonomy and ensuring we don’t <a href="https://www.google.com.au/books/edition/English/d-d5AAAAIAAJ?hl=en">tell people what to do</a>. If you want to get someone to do something for you – pass you a pen, for example – you frame the request as a question to signal that you’re not telling them what to do. You’ll also add one of the main characters in Anglo politeness: the magic word, “<a href="https://www.academia.edu/20312114/Lige_a_Danish_magic_word_An_ethnopragmatic_analysis">please</a>”. This framing recognises you don’t expect or demand compliance. You’re acknowledging the other person as an autonomous individual who can do what they want. If the person does the thing you’ve asked, the next step is to say “thank you” to recognise the other person’s autonomy. You’re acknowledging they didn’t have to help just because you asked. <h2>The heavy hitters</h2> The words “please” and “thank you” are such heavy hitters in Australian English good manners, they’re two of the words that language learners and migrants <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/epdf/10.1080/10408340308518247?needAccess=true">learn first</a>. They can help soften the impact of your words. Think, for example, of the difference between “no” and “no, thank you”. Of course, there are times when “no” is a full sentence. But what if someone offered you a cup of tea and you replied “no” without its concomitant “thank you” to soften your rejection and acknowledge this offer didn’t have to be made? Don’t be surprised if they think you sound a bit rude. The other big players in Australian English good manners are “sorry” and “excuse me”. Much like in <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BZ1Eid0gnLV/">British English</a>, the Australian “sorry” means many things. These can preface an intrusion on someone’s personal space, like before squeezing past someone in the cinema, or on someone’s speaking turn. Interrupting or talking over someone else is often heavily frowned on in Australian English because it is often interpreted as disregarding what the other person has to say. But in some cultures, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0346251X14001365">such as French</a>, this conversational style is actively encouraged. And some languages and cultures <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S038800011830069X?via%3Dihub">have different conventions</a> around what good manners look like around strangers versus with family. Good manners involve saying certain words in predictable contexts. But knowing what these are and when to use them demonstrates a deeper cultural awareness of what behaviours are valued. <h2>How do children learn manners?</h2> As part of my <a href="https://tidsskrift.dk/sss/article/view/135074">research</a>, I’ve analysed parenting forum posts about “good manners”. Some believe good manners should be effortless; one parent said: <blockquote> Good manners shouldn’t be something that a child has to think about […] teach them correctly at home from day one, manners become an integral part of the way they view things. </blockquote> Another forum user posited good modelling was the key, saying: <blockquote> the parent has to lead by example, rather than forcing a child to say one or the other. </blockquote> One <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38777043/">study</a>, which involved analysis of more than 20 hours of videorecorded family dinner interactions collected in Italy, found mealtimes are also sites where parents control their children’s conduct “through the micro-politics of good manners.” <blockquote> By participating in mealtime interactions, children witness and have the chance to acquire the specific cultural principles governing bodily conduct at the table, such as ‘sitting properly’, ‘eating with cutlery’, and ‘chewing with mouth closed’. Yet, they are also socialised to a foundational principle of human sociality: one’s own behavior must be self-monitored according to the perspective of the generalised Other. </blockquote> In Australian English, that means regulating your behaviour to make sure you don’t do something that could be seen as “rude”. As I argued in a 2012 <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0378216612000410">paper</a>: <blockquote> While child socialisation in Anglo culture involves heavy discouragement of rudeness, French does not have a direct equivalent feature […] French children are taught ça ne se fait pas, ‘that is not done’. Where the French proscribe the behaviours outright, the Anglos […] appeal to the image one has of oneself in interpersonal interactions. </blockquote> In Anglo English, the penalties for breaches could be other people’s disapproval and hurting their feelings. <h2>Why are good manners important?</h2> Good manners affect our interactions with others and help us build positive relationships. Fourteenth century English bishop and educator, William of Wykeham, declared that “<a href="https://www.oxfordreference.com/display/10.1093/oi/authority.20110803100131244#:%7E:text=Manners%20maketh%20man%20proverbial%20saying,Winchester%20and%20chancellor%20of%20England">manners maketh the man</a>”. John Hopkins University Professor <a href="https://ii.library.jhu.edu/2018/12/11/in-memory-of-p-m-forni-the-case-for-civility-in-the-classroom-and-beyond/">Pier Forni</a> called them a “precious life-improvement tool.” The “Good Manners” <a href="https://education.qld.gov.au/about-us/history/history-topics/good-manners-chart">chart</a>, based on a set of rules devised by the Children’s National guild of Courtesy in UK primary schools in 1889, was issued to Queensland primary schools until the 1960s. It tells kids to remember the golden rule to “always do to others as you would wish them to do to you if you were in their place.” Good manners form part of the bedrock for human sociality. Childhood is when we give kids foundational training on interacting with others and help them learn how to be a culturally competent member of a society.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/237133/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sophia-waters-501831">Sophia Waters</a>, Senior Lecturer in Writing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-do-children-learn-good-manners-237133">original article</a>.

Family & Pets

Hugh Grant finally reveals his children's names

Hugh Grant has revealed the names of his two youngest daughters for the first time in a candid interview moment. The English actor and father-of-five has never announced the names of two of his children or the gender of his youngest offspring. Now, during an interview with talk show host Jimmy Kimmel, the 64-year-old finally shared that his youngest child was a girl and shared her name with viewers. During a conversation about his own unusual middle name, Mungo, he said, "I was in a bit of a panic with my wife on the day we named [our daughter]." Sharing the hilarious inspiration behind the name, he said, "We thought it might be nice for her when she was older if she could say in bars that her middle name is Danger. So, her name is Lulu Danger Grant. Austin Powers, you know?" Hugh, who also has a son named John Mungo, went on to reveal that his youngest isn't the only child in the family with a fun name. He went on to say that he and his wife Anna were stressed when naming their first daughter, and decided to ask their son for advice. "We asked her elder brother when she was on the way, 'there's a new baby coming along, what shall we call her?'", Hugh explained. "And he said 'Kevin', because that was his favourite Minion." "And we did think about calling her Kevin, but then we said, 'you'd better think of something else', and he said 'Blue', because that was his favourite colour." The announcement was out of character for Hugh, who despite being a huge Hollywood name, tends to keep his personal life out of the spotlight. Image credits: YouTube

Family & Pets

We know parents shape their children’s reading – but so can aunts, uncles and grandparents, by sharing beloved books

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/emily-grace-baulch-1399683">Emily Grace Baulch</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-queensland-805">The University of Queensland</a> <a href="https://creative.gov.au/news/media-releases/revealing-reading-a-survey-of-australian-reading-habits/">Over 80%</a> of Australians with children encourage them to read. Children whose parents enjoy reading are <a href="https://www.booktrust.org.uk/news-and-features/news/news-2023/new-research-from-booktrust-reveals-the-impact-of-parental-reading-enjoyment-on-childrens-reading-habits/">20% more likely</a> to enjoy it too. My research has found parents aren’t the only family members who play an important role in developing a passion for reading – extended family, from grandparents to siblings, uncles and great-aunts, also influence readers’ connections to books. I surveyed 160 Australian readers about their home bookshelves and reading habits. More than 80% of them acknowledged the significant influence of family in what and how they read. Reading to children is often <a href="https://www.booktrust.org.uk/globalassets/resources/research/booktrust-family-survey-research-briefing-2-reading-influencers.pdf">the invisible workload of mothers</a>: 95% of mothers read to children, compared to 67% of fathers. Yet intriguingly, those I surveyed – whose ages ranged from their early 20s to their 70s – collectively talked about books being passed down across eight generations. Family members were associated with their most valued books – and their identities as readers. <h2>Treasured possessions</h2> Books passed down through generations often become treasured possessions, embodying a shared family history. One person discussed an old hardcover copy of <a href="https://www.harpercollins.com.au/9780732284350/blinky-bill/">Blinky Bill</a> by Dorothy Wall. Originally given to her father and his siblings by their great-aunt in 1961, the book’s pages are now discoloured and falling out. “Although I always think of my mother as having been my reading role model,” she wrote, “actually my father had an equally big impact, just in another way.” Her father is a central organising figure on her home bookshelf: she has dedicated a whole shelf to the books he liked. The story she tells about his old copy of Blinky Bill, however, crosses generations. The book’s battered state is a testament to its longevity and well-loved status. Its inscription to her family members makes the copy unique and irreplaceable. Another person remembered a set of Dickens’ novels, complete with margin notes and century-old newspaper clippings, carefully stored with her most special books. These volumes, initially owned by her great-great-grandmother and later gifted by her great-aunt, represent a reading bond passed down through generations. Such books can never be replaced, no matter how many copies might be in circulation. These books are closely associated with memories and experiences – they are invaluable for who they represent. A third person has her father’s “old” Anne McCaffrey’s <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/series/40323-dragonriders-of-pern">Dragonriders of Pern</a> series: he read it to her as a teenager, then passed it down. The book “sparked” her interest in science-fiction, and she now intends to pass it on to her own teenager. Her book, too, is “battered”, with “chunks falling out when you read it”. The cover is falling off. The deteriorating state of a book is part of the book’s legacy. It shows how loved it has been. Reading passions can be deliberately cultivated through family, but their value is less connected to reading comprehension or literacy than a sense of connection through sharing. Inherited, much-loved books bind families together. They can anchor absent family members to the present. These books can come to symbolise love, connection and loss. The family members who’ve passed down their books might not be physically present in children’s lives – they may not be reading aloud to them at bedtime – but through their books, they can have a strong presence in their loved ones’ memories. That indelible trace can be sustained into adulthood. <h2>Buying books for the next generation</h2> Another way relatives contribute to a family reading legacy is by buying new copies of much-loved books for the next generation. Theresa Sheen, from The Quick Brown Fox, a specialist children’s bookstore in Brisbane, notes that customers often ask for copies of books they had when they were younger. They may have read them to their children and now want them for their grandchildren. For example, <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/series/40767-the-baby-sitters-club">The Babysitters Club series</a> by Ann M. Martin was mentioned multiple times as a nostalgic favourite, now being sought after by grandparents. Readers’ habits of re-buying favourite books can affect the publishing industry. With older children’s classics still selling, publishers seek to update the text to reflect contemporary cultural mores. Enid Blyton is one author who endures through intergenerational love and nostalgia. However, her work is regularly <a href="https://www.news.com.au/entertainment/books-magazines/books/enid-blytons-famous-five-books-edited-to-remove-offensive-words/news-story/47a63bb79a5d870f19aed58b19469bb5">edited and bowdlerised</a> to update it. Books can be imbued with the voices and emotions of others. They are more than just physical objects – they are vessels of shared experiences that can be passed down, up and across generations. This enduring bond between family members does more than preserve individual stories. It actively shapes and sustains a vibrant reading culture.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/232372/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/emily-grace-baulch-1399683">Emily Grace Baulch</a>, Producer at Ludo Studio & Freelance Editor, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-queensland-805">The University of Queensland</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/we-know-parents-shape-their-childrens-reading-but-so-can-aunts-uncles-and-grandparents-by-sharing-beloved-books-232372">original article</a>.

Family & Pets

Mother helps raise over $1 million for her children ahead of her death

A single mother from America has left an enduring financial legacy to her two young children in the weeks before her untimely death. Erika Diarte-Carr, 30, started a <a href="https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-erika-and-her-children-with-funeral-expenses" target="_blank" rel="noopener">GoFundMe</a> page after she was diagnosed with terminal cancer in order to cover costs of her own funeral, as well as providing funds to raise her two kids, Jeremiah, 7, and Aaliyah, 5. After setting the fundraising goal for $5,000 USD, generous members of her community spread the word of her selfless actions, with the fundraiser now reaching over $1.7 million USD and counting. Titled “Support Erika: A Mother planning her own funeral”, the page has garnered more than 38,000 individual donations. The page reads, “Dear family, friends and to all of those of you who may or may not know know me..." “My name is Erika Diarte-Carr. I am 30 years old and a single mother of two beautiful children. Jeremiah (7) and Aaliyah (5). ❤️ They are my whole life, light and soul. My children are my fight and what keep me going.” The mother then shared the tragic details of her cancer journey, as she recalled being diagnosed with stage 4 terminal cancer in May 2022 after presenting for “normal shoulder surgery”. “By that point, the damage had already been done. In that moment, mine and my kids’ entire lives had changed forever, as well as all of those around us,” she wrote. On top of her cancer diagnosis, Erika was hit with another blow in January 2024 as she was diagnosed with Cushing's Syndrome, which resulted in rapid weight gain, Type 2 diabetes, and further debilitating symptoms the mother claimed had “taken so much away” from her family. The page was updated in mid-September upon advice Ms Diarte-Carr had just three months to live and that treatments would “no longer help”. The mother added to the GoFundMe page how the excess funds would be allocated, writing, “For anyone’s concern, all the funds that have exceeded my funeral costs goal will be now put into a trust fund for my babies that way I can leave behind something for them and I can still ensure they are going to be ok as they grow up." On October 4th, the mother thanked donors and announced she and her family were able to take one final trip together hoping to leave her kids with “memories that’ll last a lifetime”. Just days later, Erika's cousin shared a post to social media to announce that Erika had passed away on October 12th. “It is with a heavy heart that this is the final update I will be giving for my cousin Erika,” she wrote on Facebook. “She fought a long and hard battle. She was strong and held on as long as she could for her babies. I know she was so thankful for all of your support and love and prayers.” Image credits: GoFundMe

Caring

Readers response: What’s your favourite travel memory with your children?

One of the best parts about travelling is having your kids, or even grandkids, in tow to experience a unique holiday together. We asked our reader what their favourite travel memory they're shared with their children is and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. Lynne Fairbrother - All the camping trips we made when they were kids, great family fun. Karen Ambrose - A long boat trip on the canals in England…. fabulous. Christine Whyte - Lovely family holidays where I holidayed with my parents, aunties, uncles, and cousins every year for over 18 years. Great summers of beach and fishing and fun times. Suzie Justinic - Many overseas trips we had as a family to see family in other countries. Cathrine Stanton Hillier - Sleeping in the back window ledge of the car. Mum made a small sleeping bag for me. Margie Buckingham - Every year, one holiday was an ‘away holiday’ while the other 3 were spent at nanny’s beach house, which were just the best! Touring Tassie on the Spirit was a great holiday. So was the Gold Coast doing the Theme Parks. But I think the best was driving to Sydney for the Olympics 2000. Barbara Holmes - The great holidays staying at Cairns Colonial Resort in the 80’s! Jill Harker - Emigrating from the UK to Australia on the ship in 1970 when the boys were about 7 and 8! Image credits: Shutterstock

Travel Tips

Woman “bullied” on plane over budget seating trick

A young woman has recalled a flight from hell when she was “bullied” by a couple who were trying to utilise a seating hack that went viral on TikTok. The solo traveller took to Reddit to recount the story and ask social media users if she was in the wrong for her action. The woman began by saying she usually pays more to select her plane seat ahead of time, but a medical emergency on another plane had her waiting on standby and left with no option other than to sit in a middle seat. When she was finally able to board, she was greeted by a couple who had purchased both the window and aisle seats in a bid to have more space, utilising a travel “trick” that has been popular on TikTok. The method, which has been dubbed the 'poor man's business class', usually leaves travellers with an empty middle seat and more space, and few travellers opt to pick a middle seat. “When I got to my row the man and woman were chatting and sharing a snack... it was obvious they were together. I mentioned to the man that I'm in the middle, and he got up to let me in,” the unsuspecting traveller wrote on Reddit. “I asked them if they would prefer to sit together, I said I was totally okay with that. The woman reacted rudely to this and said ‘you're not supposed to be sitting here anyway’.” After noticing how the plane was full, she offered to show the pair her new ticket with the correct seat number on it. “She flicked her hand at my ticket and made a disgusted sound. I offered again if they wanted to sit together to which she didn't reply, her partner said it's okay and... made some small talk,” she continued. The man’s girlfriend then interrupted their conversation to ask,”'Did you use one of those third party websites to book your flight? It's so frustrating when people cheap out to inconvenience others.” The American woman explained that she had booked her flight directly and she had been placed on standby like everyone else and didn't choose the middle seat - she was assigned it. She then tried to keep the peace by refusing to engage with the furious woman. “I was so done with her attitude, I put my headphones on and attempted to do my own thing,” she explained. But the “entitled” girlfriend wasn't letting it go, as the woman explained, “This woman kept reaching over me and tapping her partner and trying to talk to him in a way that was super intrusive.” “I could tell even her partner was trying to engage her less so that she would hopefully stop, but she didn't.” “I think they tried to pull that tactic where they don't sit together on purpose...hoping no one will sit between them. But on full flights it doesn't work. And even so - it's not the other person's fault.” The traveller's post was met with hundreds of comments slamming the girlfriend’s behaviour, as one person wrote, “It's like a toddler having a tantrum.” “She was disappointed and a total a**hole. Gross entitled people,” another added. Another person applauded the traveller’s level-headed behaviour, writing, “Wow! You are my hero for keeping it classy - I’m afraid I would not have been as kind as you.” Image credits: Shutterstock

Travel Trouble

"I am a woman": Boxer launches legal action after gold medal win

Imane Khelif has filed an official complaint over online bullying and harassment she has been subject to throughout the course of the Paris Olympics. The Algerian boxer, who took home the gold medal in the women's competition, has been at the centre of a wave of abuse over her gender, with misinformation circulating over her gender. According to Khelif's lawyer Nabil Boudi, the gold medallist has filed a legal complaint in France for online harassment. “The boxer Imane Khelif has decided to begin a new fight, a fight for justice, dignity and honour,” Boudi said in a statement, saying Khelif had filed the complaint for “aggravated online harassment … to Paris prosecutors”. He added, “The investigation will determine who was behind this misogynist, racist and sexist campaign, but will also have to concern itself with those who fed the online lynching.” The “iniquitous harassment” the boxing champion had been subjected to would remain “the biggest stain on these Olympic Games”, said Boudi. On Saturday, Khelif emerged victorious in the women’s 66kg final against China’s Yang Liu in a unanimous points decision, having been the focus of intense scrutiny in the French capital for the duration of the Games. After her victory, Khelif said the gold medal she had won was the best response to her critics. Asked by reporters about the row over her eligibility, she said, “I am fully qualified to take part, I am a woman like any other. I was born a woman, lived a woman and competed as a woman.” Image credits: Ulrik Pedersen/CSM/Shutterstock Editorial

Legal

Readers response: What is the best piece of advice you've passed down to your children?

if there's one thing you can count on your parents or grandparents for, it's to hand down valuable advice that will work its way through generations. This advice could be simple everyday words of wisdom, or more life-altering affirmations. We asked our reader what is the best piece of advice they have passed down to their children and grandchildren, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what you said. Margaret Barnes - Treat other people as you would like them to treat yourself. Kate Stephens - Listen to your mother. Keryn Bache - I recently advised my 22 year old granddaughter that if you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all. Linda Kauffman - Be careful in relationships. Janice Evans - Live within your means. Norell Standley - Learn self defence to protect yourselves. Les Thornborough - Look after your parents in their old age. Linda Kauffman - Thinking before acting. Liz N Jeff Busky - Don't try drugs, you may just like them. Rick Dayes - Mind your own business. Margie Buckingham - Live respectfully. Marian Arakiel - Get a job, get up, dress up and show up. Image credits: Shutterstock

Family & Pets

TV star charged over making indecent images of children

Former BBC presenter Huw Edwards has been charged with making indecent images of children. The 62-year-old, who left the UK public broadcaster in April after 40 years, faces three charges over alleged activity between December 2020 and April 2022. Police claim the offences are claimed to be linked to images shared on WhatsApp. After being arrested in November last year by London's Metropolitan Police, he was charged with the offences on June 26th. A Metropolitan Police spokesman said of the arrest, “Huw Edwards, 62, of Southwark, London has been charged with three counts of making indecent images of children following a Met Police investigation." “The offences, which are alleged to have taken place between December 2020 and April 2022, relate to images shared on a WhatsApp chat. Edwards was arrested on 8 November 2023. He was charged on Wednesday, 26 June following authorisation from the Crown Prosecution Service." “He has been bailed to appear at Westminster Magistrates’ Court on Wednesday 31 July." Married dad-of-five Edwards resigned from the BBC three months ago after a stellar career spanning almost 40 years. The BBC revealed their star presenter’s resignation in a short statement on April 22nd, writing, “Huw Edwards has resigned and left the BBC." “After 40 years of service, Huw explained that his decision was made on the basis of advice. The BBC has accepted his resignation.” Image credits: BBC

Legal

Man arrested after BBC presenter's wife and children murdered

British police have apprehended the man they believe is responsible for a brutal crossbow attack on the wife and two children of a well-known BBC radio presenter. In a statement released on Wednesday afternoon (early Thursday AEST), Hertfordshire Police said 26-year-old Kyle Clifford had been located in the Enfield area of north London and that he was receiving medical treatment for injuries. The BBC confirmed that the women killed were the family of its well-known radio racing commentator John Hunt — his 61-year-old wife Carol Hunt and their daughters Louise and Hannah, aged 25 and 28 respectively. Their tragic death prompted a major manhunt for the 26-year-old, as the public were urged not to approach Clifford. "Following extensive inquiries, the suspect has been located and nobody else is being sought in connection with the investigation at this time," Detective Inspector Justine Jenkins from the Bedfordshire, Cambridgeshire and Hertfordshire major crime unit said. "This continues to be an incredibly difficult time for the victims' family and we would ask that their privacy is respected as they come to terms with what has happened." A colleague of Hunt's and BBC 5 Live's lead presenter Mark Chapman struggled to hold back the tears as he expressed everyone's shock and pain. "We have a football match to bring you tonight ... and we will start our buildup to it shortly but this has been a heartbreaking day," he said as he opened Wednesday's coverage on 5 Live of England's semifinal match against The Netherlands in soccer's European Championship. "John Hunt is our colleague and our friend, not just to the current 5 Live sport team but to all of those who've worked here with him over the past 20 years, and also to all of you who have enjoyed his superb commentaries," Chapman said. "So on behalf of everyone connected to 5 Live Sport, our love and thoughts and support are with John and his family." Police were first alerted to the violent killings on Tuesday evening when emergency services were called to a house in Bushey, a residential area in north-western London. Paramedics tried to revive the women, but they died at the scene. While police have yet to establish a link between the suspect and the family, some British media outlets have claimed Clifford, who served in the British Army between 2019 and 2022, was an ex-boyfriend of one of the daughters. Image credits: Peter Manning/LNP/Shutterstock Editorial/Hertfordshire Police

Legal

What you need to know about protecting your children’s inheritance

For many people, ensuring that their children’s inheritance is protected is of paramount importance to them. There are a number of strategies that you can put in place to achieve this objective, you just need to determine which one bests suits you and your family’s circumstances. Put a Will in place By putting a Will in place, you get to decide who your assets go to, allowing you to make provision in your Will for them to pass to your children upon your death. If you do not have a Will in place then it is up to the government where your assets get paid and this may mean that your assets do not pass to your children, or do not pass to them in the manner that you desire. Play it safe and ensure things go the way you want them by taking the time to put a Will in place. Testamentary trust Let me introduce you to Testamentary Trusts. These amazing vehicles allow you to transfer your wealth to your children in the most asset protective and tax effective way possible. With an increasing number of marriages crumbling and divorce rates soaring, the last thing you want is your hard earned wealth passing to your child’s estranged partner in the event of one of your child’s marriage breakdown. By making provision in your Will leaving your children’s inheritance in a Testamentary Trust it protects their inheritance from any divorce or family law risks if your child’s relationship breaks down. Additionally, you may have a child who works in a high-risk occupation – a doctor, financial advisor or perhaps carrying on the role of a director. Alternatively, your child may be an entrepreneur, taking risks in their own business operations. If something adverse happened to your child whilst they were undertaking these roles and they were sued, they could be personally liable for them for any actions brought upon them by the aggrieved party. Creditors and other associated parties could only seek recourse to moneys owed by your child from them in their own personal capacity. If your child had received their inheritance in their own name, and hence the assets were now individual assets, the creditors and other associated parties would have recourse in recovering funds owed to them by your child. However, if your child’s inheritance was paid to a Testamentary Trust for their benefit at the time of your death then these assets would be held on trust for them and are not personal assets, hence the creditors and other associated parties would not have recourse in respect to these assets. Blended marriages If you have children from a previous marriage, it’s imperative that you obtain the appropriate legal advice in respect to how to protect your assets for your children. There are a number of options that you can put in place including a Binding Financial Agreement and a Mutual Wills Agreement. There are also strategies that you can put in place which ensure that your assets pass to your children upon your death. Options are also available where you may wish for your partner to receive some benefit of some of your assets during your lifetime with all assets passing to your children upon your partner’s death. Choose the right executor If you have young children, it will be your executor who looks after your children’s inheritance until your children reach the age that you have stipulated in your Will that you would like them to receive your assets. It is therefore imperative that you have the best person possible to undertake this role as you are effectively giving them the keys to everything that you own and control. That’s big. You need to appoint someone that you trust implicitly to undertake this role. You need to appoint your most trusted ally. Your executor also needs to be financial savvy or receptive to obtaining the appropriate financial advice to enable them to look after and grow your children’s inheritance. It is important that you seek the appropriate advice so that you can put the best strategies in place that protect your children’s inheritance in the best manner possible. There are a number of ways that you can protect your children’s inheritance, you just need to find the best one that works for you and your children. Melisa Sloan, author of Big Moments, expert advice for conquering those moments that define us, is a lawyer, industry leader, author and board director who loves helping people put in place beautiful legacies. For more information visit www.melisasloan.com.au Image credits: Shutterstock

Money & Banking

Two young fundraising heroes treated to private party at Buckingham Palace

Two fundraising heroes have been treated to a private tea party, hosted by Queen Camilla herself, after being forced to miss previous royal events. Tony Hudgell, nine, and Lyla O’Donovan, 11, were due to attend a garden party in May, but Hudgell got stuck in a major traffic jam, while Lyla was undergoing treatment for cancer. Tony — whose legs were amputated after horrific child abuse - was devastated to miss the royal event, as his adoptive mother Paula shared on X (formerly Twitter) how they spent two hours stuck behind a fire truck on a major highway. However, a response on the Royal Family indicated all was not lost, as they replied, “Sorry to hear this, Tony! We were looking forward to seeing you too. Fancy trying again another day? Leave it with us.” Two months on, the two youngsters arrived at Buckingham Palace for the rescheduled treat last week and were given a front-row spot to watch the Changing of the Guard. The two children and their families then enjoyed a private tea party with Queen Camilla, 76, in the palace garden’s Summer House. <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> 🫖 🍰 When Tony and Lyla came to tea … <a href="https://t.co/LTfLrPDjT7">pic.twitter.com/LTfLrPDjT7</a> — The Royal Family (@RoyalFamily) <a href="https://twitter.com/RoyalFamily/status/1807667556120969625?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 1, 2024</a></blockquote> The Queen then presented Tony with his British Empire Medal after his nomination in the 2024 New Year’s Honours. Tony, who lost his legs as a baby due to his parents’ cruelty, inspired the nation after doing a 10km walk, raising $2.4 million at age five. Paula said, “We were all extremely honoured and grateful to be invited for afternoon tea with the Queen. Everyone was so kind and thoughtful and made us feel comfortable and relaxed." “Tony chatted to the Queen as if they were old friends. She was lovely with him. “An exceptionally proud moment was when the Queen gave Tony his BEM. It was one of the most memorable days we’ll ever have.” Lyla has raised funds to grant wishes to children affected by cancer or lifelong illness. She said of the event, “Everyone made us feel so comfortable and made me feel super-special. We’re so grateful.” Dad Paul said, “It was an amazing moment for us. Lyla was gutted about missing the original Garden Party but she said she’s glad she missed it now as she’s got to meet the Queen." “There’s no one more important than her, apart from the King, of course.” Image credits: Buckingham Palace/WPA Pool/Shutterstock Editorial

International Travel

I’ve been diagnosed with cancer. How do I tell my children?

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/cassy-dittman-1380541">Cassy Dittman</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/govind-krishnamoorthy-1467986">Govind Krishnamoorthy</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-southern-queensland-1069">University of Southern Queensland</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/marg-rogers-867368">Marg Rogers</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a> With around <a href="https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/health/health-conditions-and-risks/cancer/2022">one in 50 adults</a> diagnosed with cancer each year, many people are faced with the difficult task of sharing the news of their diagnosis with their loved ones. Parents with cancer may be most <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1462388914000994">worried about</a> telling their children. It’s best to give children factual and age-appropriate information, so children don’t create their own explanations or <a href="https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(18)33202-1/fulltext">blame themselves</a>. Over time, supportive family relationships and open communication <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00520-016-3214-2">help children adjust</a> to their parent’s diagnosis and treatment. It’s natural to feel you don’t have the <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/ecc.12018">skills or knowledge</a> to talk with your children about cancer. But preparing for the conversation can improve your confidence. <h2>Preparing for the conversation</h2> Choose a suitable time and location in a place where your children feel comfortable. Turn off distractions such as screens and phones. For teenagers, who can find face-to-face conversations confronting, think about talking while you are going for a walk. Consider if you will tell all children at once or separately. Will you be the only adult present, or will having another adult close to your child be helpful? Another adult might give your children a person they can talk to later, especially to answer questions they might be worried about asking you. Finally, plan what to do after the conversation, like doing an activity with them that they enjoy. Older children and teenagers might want some time alone to digest the news, but you can suggest things you know they like to do to relax. Also consider what you might need to support yourself. <h2>Preparing the words</h2> Parents might be worried about the <a href="https://www.bmj.com/content/321/7259/479.full.pdf+html">best words or language</a> to use to make sure the explanations are at a level their child understands. Make a plan for what you will say and take notes to stay on track. The toughest part is likely to be saying to your children that you have cancer. It can help to practise saying those words out aloud. Ask family and friends for their feedback on what you want to say. <a href="https://www.cancer.org.au/cancer-information/types-of-cancer/childhood-cancers/talking-to-kids-about-cancer">Make use of guides</a> by the Cancer Council, which provide age-appropriate wording for explaining medical terms like “cancer”, “chemotherapy” and “tumour”. <h2>Having the conversation</h2> Being open, honest and factual is important. Consider the balance between being too vague, and providing too much information. The <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1462388914000994">amount and type</a> of information you give will be based on their age and previous experiences with illness. Remember, if things don’t go as planned, you can always try again later. Start by telling your children the news in a few short sentences, describing what you know about the diagnosis in language suitable for their age. Generally, this information will include the name of the cancer, the area of the body affected and what will be involved in treatment. Let them know what to expect in the coming weeks and months. Balance hope with reality. For example: <blockquote> The doctors will do everything they can to help me get well. But, it is going to be a long road and the treatments will make me quite sick. </blockquote> Check what your child knows about cancer. Young children may not know much about cancer, while primary school-aged children are starting to understand that it is a <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/epdf/10.1177/0165025408093663">serious illness</a>. Young children may worry about becoming unwell themselves, or other loved ones becoming sick. Older children and teenagers may have experiences with cancer through other family members, friends at school or social media. This process allows you to correct any misconceptions and provides opportunities for them to ask questions. Regardless of their level of knowledge, it is important to reassure them that the cancer is not their fault. Ask them if there is anything they want to know or say. Talk to them about what will stay the same as well as what may change. For example: <blockquote> You can still do gymnastics, but sometimes Kate’s mum will have to pick you up if I am having treatment. </blockquote> If you can’t answer their questions, be OK with saying “I’m not sure”, or “I will try to find out”. Finally, tell children you love them and offer them comfort. <h2>How might they respond?</h2> Be prepared for a range of <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00520-016-3214-2">different responses</a>. Some might be distressed and cry, others might be angry, and some might not seem upset at all. This might be due to shock, or a sign they need time to process the news. It also might mean they are trying to be brave because they don’t want to upset you. Children’s reactions will change over time as they come to terms with the news and process the information. They might seem like they are happy and coping well, then be teary and clingy, or angry and irritable. Older children and teenagers may ask if they can tell their friends and family about what is happening. It may be useful to come together as a family to discuss how to inform friends and family. <h2>What’s next?</h2> Consider the conversation the first of many ongoing discussions. Let children know they can talk to you and ask questions. Resources might also help; for example, The Cancer Council’s <a href="https://www.campquality.org.au/kids-guide-to-cancer/">app for children and teenagers</a> and Redkite’s <a href="https://www.redkite.org.au/service/book-club/">library of free books</a> for families affected by cancer. If you or other adults involved in the children’s lives are concerned about how they are coping, speak to your GP or treating specialist about options for psychological support.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/228012/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/cassy-dittman-1380541">Cassy Dittman</a>, Senior Lecturer/Head of Course (Undergraduate Psychology), Research Fellow, Manna Institute, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/govind-krishnamoorthy-1467986">Govind Krishnamoorthy</a>, Senior Lecturer, School of Psychology and Wellbeing, Post Doctoral Fellow, Manna Institute, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-southern-queensland-1069">University of Southern Queensland</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/marg-rogers-867368">Marg Rogers</a>, Senior Lecturer, Early Childhood Education; Post Doctoral Fellow, Manna Institute, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/ive-been-diagnosed-with-cancer-how-do-i-tell-my-children-228012">original article</a>.

Family & Pets

Funding for refugees has long been politicized − punitive action against UNRWA and Palestinians fits that pattern

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/nicholas-r-micinski-207353">Nicholas R. Micinski</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-maine-2120">University of Maine</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kelsey-norman-862895">Kelsey Norman</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rice-university-931">Rice University</a> At least a dozen countries, including the U.S., have <a href="https://news.un.org/en/story/2024/01/1145987">suspended funding to the UNRWA</a>, the United Nations agency responsible for delivering aid to Palestinian refugees. This follows allegations made by Israel that <a href="https://www.wsj.com/world/middle-east/at-least-12-u-n-agency-employees-involved-in-oct-7-attacks-intelligence-reports-say-a7de8f36">12 UNRWA employees participated</a> in the Oct. 7, 2023, Hamas attack. The UNRWA responded by <a href="https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/un-palestinian-refugee-agency-investigates-staff-suspected-role-israel-attacks-2024-01-26/">dismissing all accused employees</a> and opening an investigation. While the seriousness of the accusations is clear to all, and the U.S. has been keen to <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2024/01/30/us/politics/aid-gaza-israel.html">downplay the significance</a> of its pause in funding, the action is not in keeping with precedent. Western donors did not, for example, defund other U.N. agencies or peacekeeping operations amid accusations of <a href="https://www.hrw.org/news/2020/01/11/un-peacekeeping-has-sexual-abuse-problem">sexual assault</a>, <a href="https://www.justice.gov/usao-sdny/pr/former-un-general-assembly-president-and-five-others-charged-13-million-bribery-scheme">corruption</a> or <a href="https://www.hrw.org/legacy/summaries/s.bosnia9510.html">complicity in war crimes</a>. In real terms, the funding cuts to the UNRWA will affect <a href="https://www.unrwa.org/where-we-work/gaza-strip">1.7 million Palestinian refugees in Gaza</a> along with an additional 400,000 Palestinians without refugee status, many of whom benefit from the UNRWA’s infrastructure. Some critics have gone further and said depriving the agency of funds <a href="https://jacobin.com/2024/01/unrwa-defunding-gaza-israel">amounts to collective punishment</a> against Palestinians. Refugee aid, and humanitarian aid more generally, is theoretically meant to be neutral and impartial. But as experts in <a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/books/reluctant-reception/558E2A93FF99B8F295347A8FA2053698">migration</a> <a href="https://www.routledge.com/UN-Global-Compacts-Governing-Migrants-and-Refugees/Micinski/p/book/9780367218836">and</a> <a href="https://press.umich.edu/Books/D/Delegating-Responsibility">international relations</a>, we know funding is often used as a foreign policy tool, whereby allies are rewarded and enemies punished. In this context, we believe the cuts in funding for the UNRWA fit a wider pattern of the politicization of aid to refugees, particularly Palestinian refugees. <h2>What is the UNRWA?</h2> The UNRWA, short for the U.N. Relief and Works Agency for Palestine Refugees in the Near East, was established two years after about <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-nakba-at-75-palestinians-struggle-to-get-recognition-for-their-catastrophe-204782">750,000 Palestinians were expelled or fled from their homes</a> during the months leading up to the creation of the state of Israel in 1948 and the subsequent Arab-Israeli war. Prior to the UNRWA’s creation, international and local organizations, many of them religious, provided services to displaced Palestinians. But after <a href="https://cup.columbia.edu/book/refuge-and-resistance/9780231202855">surveying the extreme poverty</a> and dire situation pervasive across refugee camps, the U.N. General Assembly, including all Arab states and Israel, voted to create the UNRWA in 1949. Since that time, <a href="https://www.unrwa.org/what-we-do">the UNRWA has been the primary aid organization</a> providing food, medical care, schooling and, in some cases, housing for the 6 million Palestinians living across its five fields: Jordan, Lebanon, Syria, as well as the areas that make up the occupied Palestinian territories: the West Bank and Gaza Strip. The mass displacement of Palestinians – known as the <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-nakba-at-75-palestinians-struggle-to-get-recognition-for-their-catastrophe-204782">Nakba, or “catastrophe</a>” – occurred prior to the <a href="https://www.unhcr.org/about-unhcr/who-we-are/1951-refugee-convention">1951 Refugee Convention</a>, which defined refugees as anyone with a well-founded fear of persecution owing to “events occurring in Europe before 1 January 1951.” Despite a <a href="https://www.unhcr.org/sites/default/files/legacy-pdf/4ec262df9.pdf">1967 protocol extending the definition</a> worldwide, Palestinians are still excluded from the primary international system protecting refugees. While the UNRWA is responsible for providing services to Palestinian refugees, the United Nations also created the U.N. Conciliation Commission for Palestine in 1948 to seek a <a href="https://www.refworld.org/docid/4fe2e5672.html">long-term political solution</a> and “to facilitate the repatriation, resettlement and economic and social rehabilitation of the refugees and the payment of compensation.” As a result, the UNRWA does not have a mandate to push for the traditional durable solutions available in other refugee situations. As it happened, the conciliation commission was active only for a few years and has since been sidelined in favor of the U.S.-brokered peace processes. <h2>Is the UNRWA political?</h2> The UNRWA has been <a href="https://www.migrationpolicy.org/article/palestinian-refugees-dispossession">subject</a> to political headwinds since its inception and especially during periods of heightened tension between Palestinians and Israelis. While it is a U.N. organization and thus ostensibly apolitical, it has <a href="https://cup.columbia.edu/book/refuge-and-resistance/9780231202855">frequently been criticized</a> by Palestinians, Israelis as well as donor countries, including the United States, for acting politically. The UNRWA performs statelike functions across its five fields – including education, health and infrastructure – but it is restricted in its mandate from performing political or security activities. Initial Palestinian objections to the UNRWA stemmed from the organization’s early focus on economic integration of refugees into host states. Although the UNRWA officially adhered to the U.N. General Assembly’s <a href="https://www.unrwa.org/content/resolution-194">Resolution 194</a> that called for the return of Palestine refugees to their homes, U.N., U.K. and U.S. <a href="https://cup.columbia.edu/book/refuge-and-resistance/9780231202855">officials searched</a> for means by which to resettle and integrate Palestinians into host states, viewing this as the favorable political solution to the Palestinian refugee situation and the broader Israeli-Palestinian conflict. In this sense, Palestinians perceived the UNRWA to be both highly political and actively working against their interests. In later decades, the UNRWA <a href="https://cup.columbia.edu/book/refuge-and-resistance/9780231202855">switched its primary focus</a> from jobs to education at the urging of Palestinian refugees. But the UNRWA’s education materials were <a href="https://cup.columbia.edu/book/refuge-and-resistance/9780231202855">viewed</a> by Israel as further feeding Palestinian militancy, and the Israeli government insisted on checking and approving all materials in Gaza and the West Bank, which it has occupied since 1967. While Israel has <a href="https://cup.columbia.edu/book/refuge-and-resistance/9780231202855">long been suspicious</a> of the UNRWA’s role in refugee camps and in providing education, the organization’s operation, which is internationally funded, <a href="https://www.crisisgroup.org/middle-east-north-africa/east-mediterranean-mena/israelpalestine/242-unrwas-reckoning-preserving-un-agency-serving-palestinian-refugees">also saves</a> Israel millions of dollars each year in services it would be obliged to deliver as the occupying power. Since the 1960s, the U.S. – UNRWA’s primary donor – and other Western countries have <a href="https://cup.columbia.edu/book/refuge-and-resistance/9780231202855">repeatedly expressed their desire</a> to use aid to prevent radicalization among refugees. In response to the increased presence of armed opposition groups, the <a href="https://cup.columbia.edu/book/refuge-and-resistance/9780231202855">U.S. attached a provision</a> to its UNRWA aid in 1970, requiring that the “UNRWA take all possible measures to assure that no part of the United States contribution shall be used to furnish assistance to any refugee who is receiving military training as a member of the so-called Palestine Liberation Army (PLA) or any other guerrilla-type organization.” The UNRWA adheres to this requirement, even publishing an annual list of its employees so that host governments can vet them, but it also <a href="https://www.crisisgroup.org/middle-east-north-africa/east-mediterranean-mena/israelpalestine/242-unrwas-reckoning-preserving-un-agency-serving-palestinian-refugees">employs 30,000 individuals</a>, the vast majority of whom are Palestinian. Questions over the links of the UNRWA to any militancy has led to the rise of Israeli and international <a href="https://cufi.org/issue/unrwa-teachers-continue-to-support-antisemitism-terrorism-on-social-media-un-watch/">watch groups</a> that document the social media activity of the organization’s large Palestinian staff. <h2>Repeated cuts in funding</h2> The United States has used its money and power within the U.N. to block criticism of Israel, vetoing at least <a href="https://www.un.org/depts/dhl/resguide/scact_veto_table_en.htm">45 U.N. resolutions</a> critical of Israel. And the latest freeze is not the first time the U.S. has cut funding to the UNRWA or other U.N. agencies in response to issues pertaining to the status of Palestinians. In 2011, the <a href="https://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE79U5ED/#:%7E:text=WASHINGTON%20(Reuters)%20%2D%20The%20United,grant%20the%20Palestinians%20full%20membership.">U.S. cut all funding to UNESCO</a>, the U.N. agency that provides educational and cultural programs around the world, after the agency voted to admit the state of Palestine as a full member. The Obama administration defended the move, claiming it was required by a 1990s law to defund any U.N. body that admitted Palestine as a full member. But the impact of the action was nonetheless severe. Within just four years, UNESCO was <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/1758-5899.12459">forced to cut its staff in half</a> and roll back its operations. President Donald Trump later <a href="https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/u-s-and-israel-officially-withdraw-from-unesco">withdrew the U.S. completely from UNESCO</a>. In 2018, the Trump administration paused its <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2018/08/31/us/politics/trump-unrwa-palestinians.html">US$60 million contribution to the UNRWA</a>. Trump claimed the pause would create political pressure for Palestinians to negotiate. President Joe Biden restarted U.S. contributions to the UNRWA in 2021. <h2>Politicization of refugee aid</h2> Palestinian are not the only group to suffer from the politicization of refugee funding. After World War II, states established different international organizations to help refugees but strategically excluded some groups from the refugee definition. For example, the U.S. funded the <a href="https://www.nationalww2museum.org/war/articles/last-million-eastern-european-displaced-persons-postwar-germany">U.N. Relief and Rehabilitation Administration to help resettle displaced persons after World War II</a> but resisted Soviet pressure to forcibly repatriate Soviet citizens. The U.S. also created a separate organization, <a href="https://academic.oup.com/ijrl/article-abstract/1/4/501/1598187">the precursor to the International Organization for Migration</a>, to circumvent Soviet influence. In many ways, the UNRWA’s existence and the exclusion of Palestinian refugees from the wider refugee regime parallels this dynamic. Funding for refugees has also been politicized through the earmarking of voluntary contributions to U.N. agencies. Some agencies receive funding from U.N. dues; but the UNRWA, alongside the U.N. High Commissioner for Refugees and the International Organization for Migration, receive the majority of their funding from voluntary contributions from member states. These contributions can be earmarked for specific activities or locations, leading to donors such as the <a href="https://www.peio.me/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/PEIO12_paper_107.pdf">U.S. or European Union dictating which refugees get aid and which do not</a>. Earmarked contributions amounted to nearly <a href="https://unsceb.org/fs-revenue-agency">96% of the UNHCR’s budget, 96% of the IOM’s budget and 74% of UNRWA funding in 2022</a>. As a result, any cuts to UNRWA funding will affect its ability to service Palestinian refugees in Gaza – especially at a time when so many are <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2024/01/30/middleeast/famine-looms-in-gaza-israel-war-intl/index.html">facing hunger, disease and displacement</a> as a result of war.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/222263/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/nicholas-r-micinski-207353">Nicholas R. Micinski</a>, Assistant Professor of Political Science and International Affairs, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-maine-2120">University of Maine</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kelsey-norman-862895">Kelsey Norman</a>, Fellow for the Middle East, Rice University's Baker Institute for Public Policy, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rice-university-931">Rice University</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/funding-for-refugees-has-long-been-politicized-punitive-action-against-unrwa-and-palestinians-fits-that-pattern-222263">original article</a>.

Money & Banking

All My Children star dies at age 50

Soap opera actor and fitness model Alec Musser has died at the age of 50. The All My Children star tragically died at his home in California on Friday evening, with his fiancé Paige Press confirming the news to <a href="https://www.tmz.com/2024/01/13/alec-musser-model-actor-all-my-children-dead-dies/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">TMZ</a>. “RIP to the love of my life,” Press wrote on Instagram. “I will never stop loving you. My heart is broken.” “Today is the worst day of my life. We were so happy … You were the best fiancé I could of ever asked for.” In another heartbreaking post to her Instagram stories, Press shared a photo of herself wearing her engagement ring and vowed: “I am never taking off my ring.” Other family members further confirmed the news of Musser's passing to TMZ, with his cause of death not yet revealed. Alec Musser starred in All My Children from 2005 to 2007, appearing in a total of 43 episodes. He landed the role on the long-running soap after he won the second season of the SOAPnet original series I Wanna Be a Soap Star. After his stint on the show, he went on to feature in other TV series including Grown Ups, Rita Rocks, Desperate Housewives and Road to the Altar. The New York native was also a fitness model and bodybuilder who appeared on the cover of several magazines like Men’s Health, Men’s Workout, Exercise Health and more. After hearing the news of his death, many of Musser’s fans took to the comment section of his last post and shared their condolences. “I’m in shock brother. You were a dear friend and will always be remembered," one fan wrote. Celebrity friend Adam Sandler also shared a tribute to Musser, writing on Instagram, "I loved this guy. Cannot believe he is gone. Such a wonderful, funny good man. Thinking of Alec Musser and his family and sending all my love. A true great sweetheart of a person." Image credits: Getty Images

Caring

5 financial lessons you should impart to your adult children

Ultimately, we want our kids to live long, happy, healthy lives. Financial security is central to achieving this dream. So it may be time to have a chat about matters of money and ensure they are well set up for a prosperous future! While there are many important things to instil in future generations, the five below are perhaps the most crucial current-day issues for your adult children to master. <ol> <li>Avoid BNPL</li> </ol> Buy now, pay later (BNPL) schemes have taken off in popularity in recent years, allowing shoppers to purchase and use goods straight away yet pay for them over time in instalments. Sound too good to be true? Indeed. Most schemes attach hefty penalties and interest for missed or late repayments – much the same as credit cards. The debt quickly balloons, and can become unsustainable. The best approach to instil in your children is to always live within their means. <ol start="2"> <li>Avoid sexually transmitted debt</li> </ol> Joint finances, loans, credit cards, utilities, subscriptions, vehicles, businesses, property… all of these and more are shared liabilities. Even if a partner is the one who racks up the debts, your child is equally responsible for repaying them. This is what I call sexually transmitted debt. It could be inadvertent (such as having a partner who, despite their best intentions, is simply bad with money); hidden (like gambling addiction), deliberate (financial abuse), lose their job, have an accident, get seriously unwell. Either way, sexually transmitted debts can create long-term and even life-long problems, regardless of whether the relationship that created those debts survives: repayment struggles, credit constraints, bankruptcy, legal woes. When it comes to money, your children (and yourself) need to think with their head, not their heart. <ol start="3"> <li>Start investing </li> </ol> The number one thing financial advisers hear most is “I wish I started years ago”. Investments typically grow over time. The more time you allow, the bigger their value. Younger adults have big demands on their hip pocket. However, even starting with small investments allows compound growth to work its magic. Plus, given the housing affordability constraints facing younger generations, investments that can be sold or leveraged could better help them onto the housing ladder in future. Superannuation is another investment to pay attention to from a young age: managing investments, ensuring they are in a cost-effective fund, and avoiding mistakes – like consolidating funds without getting advice, which can inadvertently see them consolidate into a poorer performing fund or cancel attached insurances that had preferential terms. <ol start="4"> <li>Get a will</li> </ol> While young people may feel invincible, untimely deaths or disablement claims sadly can and do happen. And often unexpectedly: land transport accidents and accidental poisoning, together with suicide, make up <a href="https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/life-expectancy-deaths/deaths-in-australia/contents/leading-causes-of-death">the biggest causes of death for under 44s</a> in Australia. Not having a will and a nominated executor complicates matters for grieving family and can delay all-important access to finances. How would your child’s partner and kids (if they have them) survive if their super, insurances and other payouts are delayed through probate? Remember to point out that superannuation (and other structures like companies and trusts) are treated separately from a will, and so need beneficiaries nominated within them. Younger people are also less likely to have discussed their final wishes with loved ones – funeral arrangements, burial vs cremation, organ donation, inheritances etc. This is where a separate statement of wishes can be useful. <ol start="5"> <li>Get insured</li> </ol> Insurances – save perhaps vehicle and house/contents – are rarely on the minds of younger people. But they should be. That is because many insurances are cheaper and offer better coverage when people are younger and free of any health complications. That includes private health, life and permanent disability, and income protection cover. Other insurances, like asset protection, can also be more lucrative to lock-in early. Just think about how the Ts and Cs on insurances have changed (become more restrictive) since you were their age! So encourage your adult children to scrutinise their insurance coverage. (And keep them away from drugs and smoking to stay healthier for longer!) Helen Baker is a licensed Australian financial adviser and author of the new book, On Your Own Two Feet: The Essential Guide to Financial Independence for all Women (Ventura Press, $32.99). Helen is among the 1% of financial planners who hold a master’s degree in the field. Proceeds from book sales are donated to charities supporting disadvantaged women and children. Find out more at <a href="http://www.onyourowntwofeet.com.au">www.onyourowntwofeet.com.au</a> Image credits: Getty Images

Money & Banking

Meryl Streep hits the red carpet with her four children

Meryl Streep has made a rare red carpet appearance with all four of her grown up children. The Hollywood legend was dressed in a chic black dress, exuding endless class at the annual Academy Museum Gala in Los Angeles on Sunday night. The event serves as the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures’ marquee annual fundraiser, raising vital funds to support museum exhibitions, education initiatives and public programming, while also quickly become one of Hollywood’s starriest nights. As Meryl graced the red carpet, she was joined by her four children who she shares with estranged husband Don Gummer. Streep was joined by her son Henry Wolfe and his wife Tamryn Storm Hawker, her daughter Grace Gummer and her husband Mark Ronson, and her other two daughters Mamie Gummer and Louisa Jacobson. Her children were in attendance to celebrate their mother, who was being honoured with the Icon Award during the ceremony. Streep's estranged husband Don was not present at the event, as the pair announced their <a href="https://oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/meryl-streep-s-shocking-relationship-news" target="_blank" rel="noopener">separation</a> in October. “Don Gummer and Meryl Streep have been separated for more than six years, and while they will always care for each other, they have chosen lives apart,” the Golden Globe winner’s spokesman told Page Six at the time. Image credits: Getty Images

Family & Pets

Parents slapped with hefty fee over badly behaved children

Two parents have been slapped with a hefty fine tacked onto their restaurant bill after their children caused a ruckus during dinner. Kyle and Lyndsey Landmann were dining at a restaurant in Georgia, USA, when they were given a $50 fine for their allegedly badly behaved kids. Two weeks after the incident, Kyle took to Google to leave a negative review for the eatery to say he was “disappointed by the experience”. “The owner came out and told me he was adding $50 to my bill because of my children’s behaviour,” he wrote. “My kids watched a tablet until the food arrived, ate their food and my wife took them outside while I waited and paid the bill.” Lyndsey went on to tell Today that her kids were well behaved, although they were joined by other families, with 11 children in total at the table. “The kids were sitting at one end of the table and they were being so good,” Landmann said. “'I even commented halfway through the meal, ‘I can’t believe how well-behaved they are’.” After dinner, restaurant owner Tim Richter approached the table and told the party about the additional charge on the menu, which reads, “Adult surcharge: For adults unable to parent.” “Be Respectful to staff, property, and self. No Respect, No Service.” Landmann said she was expecting a compliment for the well behaved kids, but Richter said there would be $50 added to each bill at their table. When Landmann then asked for an explanation, she claimed Richter told her they were being “too loud”. He was angry that the kids were “running around outside” by the water after dinner, even though they were chaperoned by adults, she clarified. “I was like, ‘They were quiet the whole time’. He got in our faces and told us that we belonged at Burger King and not at his restaurant. We asked to speak to the owner and he said he was the owner,” Landmann explained. “I looked around the restaurant and everybody was frozen watching this show he was putting on. He was yelling.” The 61-year-old restaurant owner said that he implemented the rule during the pandemic, but never actually charged the couple, saying, “We want parents to be parents.” However, several other Google reviews blasted the quality of the service and the owner's attitude, including one that warns diners with children to steer clear. Image credits: Facebook

Money & Banking

Kids dressing up as older people is harmless fun, right? No, it’s ageist, whatever Bluey says

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lisa-mitchell-1143692">Lisa Mitchell</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a> A child once approached me, hunched over, carrying a vacuum cleaner like a walking stick. In a wobbly voice, he asked: "Do you want to play grannies?" The idea came from the children’s TV show Bluey, which <a href="https://www.facebook.com/ABCKidsCommunity/videos/bluey-grannies/468144817266668/">has</a> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/ABCKidsCommunity/videos/new-bluey-episodes-the-grannies-are-back-abc-kids/371436135028190/">episodes</a>, <a href="https://www.bluey.tv/products/grannies-book/">a book</a>, <a href="https://www.discountmags.com/magazine/bluey-september-1-2023-digital">magazine</a> editions and an <a href="https://www.facebook.com/OfficialBlueyTV/videos/grannies-filter-bluey/5728362390510269/">image filter</a> about dressing up as “grannies”. Children are also dressing up as 100-year-olds to mark their first “100 days of school”, an idea <a href="https://www.theage.com.au/national/victoria/old-people-s-home-for-five-year-olds-prep-students-don-senior-citizen-attire-20230801-p5dszb.html">gaining popularity</a> <a href="https://www.smh.com.au/education/cardigans-wigs-and-canes-why-kindy-students-are-dressing-up-as-100-year-olds-20230720-p5dpu8.html">in Australia</a>. Is this all just harmless fun? <h2>How stereotypes take hold</h2> When I look at the older people in my life, or the patients I see as a geriatrician, I cannot imagine how to suck out the individual to formulate a “look”. But Google “older person dress-ups” and you will find <a href="https://www.pinterest.com.au/pin/dress-up-like-youre-100-years-old-100thdayofschool--15199717464361356/">Pinterests</a> and <a href="https://www.wikihow.com/Dress-Up-Like-an-Old-Person#:%7E:text=Dress%20in%20comfortable%2C%20loose%2Dfitting,older%20people%20may%20wear%20include%3A&text=Oversized%20sweatshirts">Wikihow pages</a> doing just that. Waistcoats, walking sticks, glasses and hunched backs are the key. If you’re a “granny”, don’t forget a <a href="https://www.facebook.com/OfficialBlueyTV/videos/games-you-can-play-at-home-grannies-bluey/645964056227345/">shawl and tinned beans</a>. You can buy “old lady” <a href="https://www.spotlightstores.com/party/costumes-and-accessories/costume-accessories/wigs-hair-accessories/wigs/spartys-kids-old-lady-wig-with-curlers/80578132?gclsrc=aw.ds&gclsrc=aw.ds&gclid=Cj0KCQjw0vWnBhC6ARIsAJpJM6emZHoNxO72pUa80Wc8ihYYiq3AohZ_w72jmuWBBDlficdCMy_rsK8aAj47EALw_wcB">wigs</a> or an “old man” <a href="https://www.bigw.com.au/product/facial-hair-set-old-man-3-pieces/p/305026">moustache and bushy eyebrows</a>. This depiction of how older people look and behave is a stereotype. And if dressing up as an older person is an example, such stereotypes are all around us. <h2>What’s the harm?</h2> There is <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/hypa.12170">some debate</a> about whether stereotyping is intrinsically wrong, and if it is, why. But there is plenty of research about the harms of age stereotypes or ageism. That’s harm to current older people and harm to future older people. The World Health Organization <a href="https://www.who.int/health-topics/ageism#tab=tab_1">defines ageism</a> as: "the stereotypes (how we think), prejudice (how we feel) and discrimination (how we act) towards others or ourselves based on age." Ageism <a href="https://www.who.int/health-topics/ageism#tab=tab_1">contributes to</a> social isolation, reduced health and life expectancy and costs economies <a href="https://academic.oup.com/gerontologist/article/60/1/174/5166947">billions of dollars</a> globally. When it comes to health, the impact of negative stereotypes and beliefs about ageing may be even <a href="https://academic.oup.com/gerontologist/article/60/1/174/5166947">more harmful</a> than the discrimination itself. In laboratory studies, older people perform <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4360754/">worse</a> than expected on tasks such as memory or thinking after being shown negative stereotypes about ageing. This may be due to a “<a href="https://www.simplypsychology.org/stereotype-threat.html">stereotype threat</a>”. This is when a person’s performance is impaired because they are worried about confirming a negative stereotype about the group they belong to. In other words, they perform less well because they’re worried about acting “old”. Another theory is “stereotype embodiment”. This is where people absorb negative stereotypes throughout their life and come to believe decline is an inevitable consequence of ageing. This leads to biological, psychological and physiological changes that <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2927354/">create</a> a self-fulfilling prophecy. I have seen this in my clinic with people who do well, until they realise they’re an older person – a birthday, a fall, a revelation when they look in the mirror. Then, they stop going out, stop exercising, stop seeing their friends. Evidence for “stereotype embodiment” comes from studies that show people with more negative views about ageing are more likely to have higher levels of stress hormones (such as cortisol and C-reactive protein) and are <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7182003/">less likely</a> to engage in health behaviours, such as exercising and eating healthy foods. Younger adults with negative views about ageing are <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2666386/">more likely</a> to have a heart attack up to about 40 years later. People with the most negative attitudes towards ageing have a lower life expectancy by as much as <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12150226/">7.5 years</a>. Children are particularly susceptible to absorbing stereotypes, a process <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2007-09385-010">that starts</a> in early childhood. <h2>Ageism is all around us</h2> <a href="https://www.who.int/health-topics/ageism#tab=tab_1">One in two people</a> have ageist views, so tackling ageism is complicated given it is socially acceptable and normalised. Think of all the birthday cards and jokes about ageing or phrases like “geezer” and “old duck”. Assuming a person (including yourself) is “too old” for something. Older people say it is harder to <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-07-06/senior-job-seekers-struggle-to-get-a-foot-in-the-door/102563144">find work</a> and they face discrimination in <a href="https://www.hcnsw.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Ageism-in-Health-Care_final.pdf">health care</a>. <h2>How can we reduce ageism?</h2> We can reduce ageism through laws, policies and education. But we can also reduce it via <a href="https://www.who.int/health-topics/ageism#tab=tab_1">intergenerational contact</a>, where older people and younger people come together. This helps break down the segregation that allows stereotypes to fester. Think of the TV series <a href="https://iview.abc.net.au/show/old-people-s-home-for-4-year-olds">Old People’s Home for 4 Year Olds</a> or the follow-up <a href="https://iview.abc.net.au/show/old-people-s-home-for-teenagers">Old People’s Home for Teenagers</a>. More simply, children can hang out with their older relatives, neighbours and friends. We can also challenge a negative view of ageing. What if we allowed kids to imagine their lives as grandparents and 100-year-olds as freely as they view their current selves? What would be the harm in that?<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/212607/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lisa-mitchell-1143692">Lisa Mitchell</a>, Geriatrician working in clinical practice. PhD Candidate at The University of Melbourne studying ethics and ageism in health care. Affiliate lecturer, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/kids-dressing-up-as-older-people-is-harmless-fun-right-no-its-ageist-whatever-bluey-says-212607">original article</a>.

Retirement Life

Mick Jagger reveals why his children won't get his inheritance

Mick Jagger has revealed that he won't be sharing his wealth amongst his eight children when he dies. The Rolling Stones frontman has amassed an impressive fortune of $500 million over his 60-year career in the limelight. In an interview with the Wall Street Journal, the 80-year-old musician hinted that he doesn’t want to sell the band’s post-1971 music inventory. Jagger teased that the money should go to charity instead of his offspring. “The children don’t need $500m to live well. Come on,” he joked to the publication. He went on to say, “You maybe do some good in the world.” Jagger’s oldest child is daughter, Karis, 52, whom he welcomed with Marsha Hunt in 1970. In 1971, he wed ex-wife Bianca Jagger and had daughter Jade, 51. Jagger also shares four children with ex-wife Jerry Hall, whom he was married to from 1990 to 1997: daughters Elizabeth, 39, and Georgia May, 31, and sons James, 38, and Gabriel, 25. He and model Luciana Morad Gimenez welcomed son Lucas, 24, in 1999, and his youngest child, son Deveraux, 6, with girlfriend Melanie Hamrick, arrived in 2016. Image credits: Getty Images

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Kids dressing up as older people is harmless fun, right? No, it’s ageist, whatever Bluey says

Mick Jagger reveals why his children won't get his inheritance