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Menopause is having a moment. How a new generation of women are shaping cultural attitudes

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/bridgette-glover-2232638">Bridgette Glover</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a></em></p> <p>From hot flashes to hysteria, <a href="https://rowman.com/ISBN/9780739170007/Periods-in-Pop-Culture-Menstruation-in-Film-and-Television">film and TV</a> have long represented menopause as scary, emotional and messy.</p> <p>Recently, celebrities have been sharing their personal menopause experiences on social media, helping to re-frame the conversation in popular culture.</p> <p>We are also seeing more stories about menopause on television, with real stories and depictions that show greater empathy for the person going through it.</p> <p>Menopause is having a moment. But will it help women?</p> <h2>The change onscreen</h2> <p>This is not what we’re used to seeing on our screens. Countless sitcoms, from All in the Family (1971–79) to Two and a Half Men (2003–15) have used the menopause madness trope for laughs.</p> <p>Retro sitcom That ‘70s Show (1998–2006) used mom Kitty’s menopause journey as comedic fodder for multiple episodes. When she mistakes a missed period for pregnancy, Kitty’s surprise menopause diagnosis results in an identity crisis alongside mood swings, hot flashes and irritability.</p> <p>But the audience is not meant to empathise. Instead, the focus is on how Kitty’s menopause impacts the men in her family. Having to navigate Kitty’s symptoms, her veteran husband likens the experience to war: “I haven’t been this frosty since Korea”.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/mPLJBZiKV4U?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> <p>Even when male characters are not directly involved, women are determined to reject menopause because they see it as a marker of age that signals a loss of desirability and social worth. In Sex and the City (1998–2004), Samantha describes herself as “day-old bread” when she presumes her late period signifies menopause.</p> <p>This is a popular framing of menopause in <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14680777.2018.1409969">post-feminist TV</a> of the 1990s and early 2000s. While the <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14680777.2012.712373#d1e783">menstruating body</a> is constructed as uncontrollable and in need of management, the menopausal body requires management and maintenance to reject signals of collapse.</p> <p>These storylines erase the genuine experiences of confusion, discomfort and transformation that come with menopause.</p> <h2>A cultural moment arrives</h2> <p><a href="https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/12/31/460726461/why-2015-was-the-year-of-the-period-and-we-dont-mean-punctuation">Since 2015</a>, stories of menstruation have increased in popular culture.</p> <p>Series like comedy Broad City (2014–19) and comedy-drama Better Things (2016–22) directly call out the lack of menopause representations. When Abbi in Broad City admits she “totally forgot about menopause”, a woman responds “Menopause isn’t represented in mainstream media. Like, no one wants to talk about it”.</p> <p>Similarly, in Better Things, while watching her three daughters stare at the TV Sam laments: “No one wants to hear about it, which is why nobody ever prepared you for it”.</p> <p>And lack of preparation becomes a key theme for perimenopausal Charlotte in the Sex and the City reboot, And Just Like That … (2021–) when she has a “flash period”.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/9AmwXuHo-2w?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> <p>Fleabag (2016–19) included a groundbreaking monologue about menopause delivered by Kristen Scott-Thomas, playing a successful businesswoman. She describes menopause as “horrendous, but then it’s magnificent”.</p> <blockquote> <p>[…] your entire pelvic floor crumbles, and you get fucking hot, and no one cares. But then you’re free. No longer a slave. No longer a machine with parts.</p> </blockquote> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/RZrnHnASRV8?wmode=transparent&amp;start=13" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> <p>Scripted by Phoebe Waller-Bridge, this <a href="https://www.latimes.com/entertainment/la-et-menopause-20190524-story.html">celebrated</a> monologue critiques the post-feminist notion of striving to be the “<a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14680777.2012.712373#d1e783">idealised feminine body</a>”. Through this new feminist lens, menopause is acknowledged as both painful – physically and emotionally – and necessary for liberation.</p> <h2>Today’s menopause on screen</h2> <p>Alongside more recent series like The Change (2023), multiple documentaries including <a href="https://www.tamsenfadal.com/the-m-factor">The (M) Factor</a> (2024), and <a href="https://theconversation.com/there-is-no-future-for-ageing-women-how-the-substance-uses-body-horror-in-a-feminist-critique-239729">arguably</a> even films like The Substance (2024), social media has become a prolific space for raising awareness about menopause.</p> <p>Celebrities use social media to share tales of perimenopause and menopause, often in real time.</p> <p>Last year, actor Drew Barrymore experienced her “first perimenopausal hot flash” during her talk show.</p> <p>And ABC News Breakfast guest host, Imogen Crump, had to pause her news segment, saying</p> <blockquote> <p>I could keep stumbling through, but I’m having such a perimenopausal hot flush right now, live on air.</p> </blockquote> <p>Both Barrymore and Crump shared clips of their live segments to their social media pages, to challenge stigma and create conversations. Crump even posted to <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/posts/imogen-crump-6b74b726_perimenopause-activity-7127788484861300736-mhHh/">LinkedIn</a> to raise awareness in a professional setting.</p> <p>In a podcast interview clip shared to Instagram, writer and skincare founder, Zoë Foster Blake describes perimenopause as a “real mental health thing”, because of the lack of awareness. Recalling conversations with other perimenopausal women, Foster Blake says “We all think we’re crazy. We don’t know what the fuck is going on”.</p> <p>Feeling “crazy” is a constant theme in these conversations. As actor and <a href="https://stripesbeauty.com/pages/founder-story">menopause awareness advocate</a> Naomi Watts points out, this is largely thanks to Hollywood. Despite the stigmatising media stereotype of “crazy lady that shouts”, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQ3BN9rS_7g">Watts argues</a> that with “support and community”, women experiencing perimenopause and menopause “can thrive”.</p> <p>In fact, Watts believes menopause should be celebrated: “we know ourselves better, we’re wiser for our cumulative experiences”.</p> <p>Medical professionals like American doctors <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/DBUCPW5OUTf/">Marie Clare Haver</a> and <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C7IfaHDgXMY/">Corinne Menn</a> have been well-positioned to share their expertise and experiences via social media. They are catching and helping fuel a wave of advocacy and awareness for midlife women’s health.</p> <h2>Building community</h2> <p>After watching the menopause madness trope on our screens for decades, we are now seeing perimenopause and menopause depicted with more empathy. These depictions allow viewers – those who menstruate, who have menstruated, and who know menstruators – to feel seen and be informed.</p> <p>By sharing their experiences on social media and adding to these new screen stories, celebrities are building a community that makes the menopausal journey less lonely and helps those on it remember their worth.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/241784/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/bridgette-glover-2232638">Bridgette Glover</a>, PhD Candidate in Media and Communications, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/menopause-is-having-a-moment-how-a-new-generation-of-women-are-shaping-cultural-attitudes-241784">original article</a>.</em></p>

Body

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Woman “bullied” on plane over budget seating trick

<p dir="ltr">A young woman has recalled a flight from hell when she was “bullied” by a couple who were trying to utilise a seating hack that went viral on TikTok. </p> <p dir="ltr">The solo traveller took to Reddit to recount the story and ask social media users if she was in the wrong for her action. </p> <p dir="ltr">The woman began by saying she usually pays more to select her plane seat ahead of time, but a medical emergency on another plane had her waiting on standby and left with no option other than to sit in a middle seat.</p> <p dir="ltr">When she was finally able to board, she was greeted by a couple who had purchased both the window and aisle seats in a bid to have more space, utilising a travel “trick” that has been popular on TikTok.</p> <p dir="ltr">The method, which has been dubbed the 'poor man's business class', usually leaves travellers with an empty middle seat and more space, and few travellers opt to pick a middle seat. </p> <p dir="ltr">“When I got to my row the man and woman were chatting and sharing a snack... it was obvious they were together. I mentioned to the man that I'm in the middle, and he got up to let me in,” the unsuspecting traveller wrote on Reddit.  </p> <p dir="ltr">“I asked them if they would prefer to sit together, I said I was totally okay with that. The woman reacted rudely to this and said ‘you're not supposed to be sitting here anyway’.”</p> <p dir="ltr">After noticing how the plane was full, she offered to show the pair her new ticket with the correct seat number on it.</p> <p dir="ltr">“She flicked her hand at my ticket and made a disgusted sound. I offered again if they wanted to sit together to which she didn't reply, her partner said it's okay and... made some small talk,” she continued. </p> <p dir="ltr">The man’s girlfriend then interrupted their conversation to ask,”'Did you use one of those third party websites to book your flight? It's so frustrating when people cheap out to inconvenience others.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The American woman explained that she had booked her flight directly and she had been placed on standby like everyone else and didn't choose the middle seat - she was assigned it.</p> <p dir="ltr">She then tried to keep the peace by refusing to engage with the furious woman.  </p> <p dir="ltr">“I was so done with her attitude, I put my headphones on and attempted to do my own thing,” she explained.</p> <p dir="ltr">But the “entitled” girlfriend wasn't letting it go, as the woman explained, “This woman kept reaching over me and tapping her partner and trying to talk to him in a way that was super intrusive.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“I could tell even her partner was trying to engage her less so that she would hopefully stop, but she didn't.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“I think they tried to pull that tactic where they don't sit together on purpose...hoping no one will sit between them. But on full flights it doesn't work. And even so - it's not the other person's fault.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The traveller's post was met with hundreds of comments slamming the girlfriend’s behaviour, as one person wrote, “It's like a toddler having a tantrum.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“She was disappointed and a total a**hole. Gross entitled people,” another added. </p> <p dir="ltr">Another person applauded the traveller’s level-headed behaviour, writing, “Wow! You are my hero for keeping it classy - I’m afraid I would not have been as kind as you.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Travel Trouble

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1 in 4 adults think smacking is necessary to ‘properly raise’ kids. But attitudes are changing

<p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/divna-haslam-893417">D<em>ivna Haslam</em></a><em>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queensland-university-of-technology-847">Queensland University of Technology</a></em></p> <p>“Do you want a smack?!” This has been a common refrain from many parents across history. Right along with “just wait till your father gets home”. Somehow parents thought this threat of violence would magically improve their child’s behaviour.</p> <p>The United Nations <a href="https://www.right-to-education.org/sites/right-to-education.org/files/resource-attachments/CRC_1989.pdf">Convention on the Rights of the Child</a> considers smacking and all types of physical punishment, however mild, a violation of child rights. It’s banned in <a href="https://endcorporalpunishment.org/countdown/">65 countries</a>.</p> <p>Yet it remains <a href="https://aifs.gov.au/resources/resource-sheets/physical-punishment-legislation#:%7E:text=Physical%20punishment%20by%20a%20parent%20towards%20a%20child%20remains%20lawful,'">legal</a> in Australia for parents to use “reasonable force” for discipline. Children are the only group of people it remains legal to hit.</p> <p>Our <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1002/ajs4.301">new research</a> found one in four Australians still think physical punishment is necessary to “properly raise” children. And half of parents (across all age groups) reported smacking their children.</p> <p>But attitudes are slowly changing, with newer generations of parents less likely to smack their kids than previous ones.</p> <h2>What is physical punishment?</h2> <p><a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/j.ctt1njkrb">Physical</a> or “corporal” punishment is the use of physical force to cause pain, but not injury, to discipline a child for misbehaviour. It’s distinct from physical abuse which is more extreme and not used to correct behaviour.</p> <p>Physical punishment is <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/ajs4.276#:%7E:text=Corporal%20punishment%20(CP)%20is%20the,and%20Christian%20missionaries%20during%20colonisation.">the most common type</a> of violence against children. It usually involves smacking, but also includes things like pinching, slapping, or using an implement such as wooden spoon, cane or belt.</p> <p>Smacking doesn’t actually work and makes behaviour <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0956797617729816?casa_token=YHpEf1m4GiwAAAAA%3A8VRH5_z9fufHJiFGpWVYAk0kuTZCCRB-zneATDatqfLomERAhcyyIES30hMPdIIQ-E-IHOTekiC0Zg&amp;journalCode=pssa">worse over time</a>. And it’s <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Ffam0000191">associated with</a> children internalising problems, increased child aggression, poor parent-child relationships, poorer metal heath and more.</p> <p>In contrast, there are a lot of non-violent parenting strategies that <a href="https://theconversation.com/research-shows-its-harmful-to-smack-your-child-so-what-should-parents-do-instead-186739">do work</a>.</p> <h2>Assessing the state of smacking in Australia</h2> <p>We conducted the first <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1002/ajs4.301">study</a> to comprehensively assess the state of smacking and physical punishment in Australia. We wanted to determine if smacking was still common and how many Australians believed we need to smack our kids.</p> <p>We interviewed more than 8,500 Australians aged 16 to 65 years. Our sample was representative of the national population so we can be confident the findings represent the thoughts and experiences of Australians as a nation.</p> <p>Using such a large age range allowed us to compare people across different age groups to determine if changes are occurring.</p> <h2>What we found</h2> <p>Overall, six in ten (62.5%) Australians between 16–65 years had experienced four or more instances of smacking or physical punishment in childhood. Men were slightly more likely to be physically punished than women (66.3% v 59.1%).</p> <p>Young people, aged 16–24, reported slightly lower rates (58.4%) than older people suggesting a slight decline over time. But these rates remain unacceptably high.</p> <p>Overall, one in two (53.7%) Australian parents reported using some type of physical punishment, mostly about once a month.</p> <p>However, older parents reported on this retrospectively (what they did while raising children) and there were clear age differences:</p> <ul> <li>64.2% of parents aged over 65 years had used physical punishment</li> <li>32.8% of parents 25–34 years had used it</li> <li>14.4% of parents under 24 had used it.</li> </ul> <p>So younger generations of parents are substantially less likely to use physical punishment.</p> <p><iframe id="3dcJw" class="tc-infographic-datawrapper" style="border: none;" src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/3dcJw/2/" width="100%" height="400px" frameborder="0"></iframe></p> <p>Concerningly, one-quarter (26.4%) of all Australians still believe physical punishment is necessary to properly raise children. But the vast majority (73.6%) do not.</p> <p>And generational change is occurring. Some 37.9% of Australians older than 65 believe physical punishment is necessary compared to 22.9% of those aged 35–44 years, and only 14.8% of people under age 24.</p> <p><iframe id="NT51y" class="tc-infographic-datawrapper" style="border: none;" src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/NT51y/3/" width="100%" height="400px" frameborder="0"></iframe></p> <p>Socioeconomically disadvantaged people are 2.3 times more likely to believe physical punishment is necessary than those with no disadvantage.</p> <p>Parents who had been physically disciplined when they were children were both more likely to believe it is needed and more likely to use it with their own children. This indicates this form of violence is transmitted across generations.</p> <h2>Time for change</h2> <p>Law reform works best when changes in community attitudes and behaviours are already occurring. So it’s encouraging that younger people are much less likely to believe physical punishment is necessary and are much less likely to use it. This suggests Australians may be open to prohibiting this common form of violence.</p> <p>All states and territories should immediately enact legal reform to prohibit corporal punishment and protect the rights of Australian children. This should be paired with public health and education campaigns about what parents can do instead.</p> <p>If you are a parent looking for effective non-violent parenting strategies the <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/ministers/the-hon-greg-hunt-mp/media/406-million-to-support-the-mental-health-and-wellbeing-of-aussie-kids">government</a> has also made the <a href="https://www.triplep-parenting.net.au/qld-en/free-parenting-courses/triple-p-online-under-12/?gad_source=1&amp;gclid=Cj0KCQiAgqGrBhDtARIsAM5s0_mmMmbY3khwvp306pGOijqntKzYh6dDI5lQYszLgl6_BOGnuk8HMeEaAn_vEALw_wcB">Triple P Positive Parenting Program</a> available for free. This online program provides practical strategies parents can use to encourage positive behaviour and calm, alternative discipline techniques that can be used to instead of smacking.</p> <p>A number of other evidence-based programs, such as <a href="https://tuningintokids.org.au/">Tuning Into Kids</a>, Parents Under Pressure and <a href="https://www.pcit.org/pcit-in-australia.html">Parent Child Interaction Therapy</a>, are also available.</p> <p>Australia has an opportunity to capitalise on naturally occurring societal changes. We can interrupt this cycle of violence and give more Australians a childhood free of violence. <!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/218837/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/divna-haslam-893417"><em>Divna Haslam</em></a><em>, Senior Research Fellow, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queensland-university-of-technology-847">Queensland University of Technology</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/1-in-4-adults-think-smacking-is-necessary-to-properly-raise-kids-but-attitudes-are-changing-218837">original article</a>.</em></p>

Caring

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How 19th century ideas influenced today’s attitudes to women’s beauty

<p>In the 19th century, a range of thinkers attempted to pinpoint exactly what it was that made a woman beautiful. Newly popular women’s magazines began to promote ideas about the right behaviours, attitudes, and daily routines required to produce and maintain beauty.</p> <p>The scientific classification of plants and animals - influenced by Charles Darwin - also shaped thinking about beauty. It was seen to be definable, like a plant type or animal species. Increasingly, sophisticated knowledge of medicine and anatomy and the association of beauty with health also saw physicians weigh into the debate.</p> <p>A look at three significant books that focused on beauty shows several influential ideas. These include the classification of distinct beauty types, the perception of “natural” beauty as superior to the “artificial”, and the eventual acceptance of beauty as something that each woman should try to cultivate through a daily regimen of self-care.</p> <p><strong>Classifying beauty types</strong></p> <p>Alexander Walker, a Scottish physiologist, wrote three books on the subject of “woman”. The first was <a href="https://catalog.hathitrust.org/Record/011616485">Beauty; Illustrated Chiefly by an Analysis and Classification of Beauty in Women</a>. Here, Walker focuses on women’s beauty because he suggests it is “best calculated to ensure attention from men”. He assumes that men have the power to choose sexual partners in a way that women do not, therefore men have a crucial responsibility “to ameliorate the species”.</p> <p>Given that one of its key functions is to signal fertility, a woman’s appearance is therefore not a frivolous topic. It is linked to the development of humanity.</p> <p>Walker defines three types or “species” of female beauty: locomotive, nutritive, and thinking. These types derive from a knowledge of anatomy and each is related to one of the bodily “systems”.</p> <p>The locomotive or mechanical system is highly developed in women with “precise, striking, and brilliant” bodies. The nutritive or vital system is evident in the “soft and voluptuous”. The thinking or mental system is conducive to a figure “characterised by intellectuality and grace”.</p> <p>Walker’s ideal is the mental or thinking beauty. She has less pronounced breasts and curves and admirable inner qualities that are evident in her “intensely expressive eye”.</p> <p>Not coincidentally, he understands intelligence to predominate in men. Walker’s ideal thinking beauty is effectively most like his idea of a man in contrast to the locomotive beauty (connected with the lower classes) and the nutritive beauty (primed to have children).</p> <p><strong>“Firm and elastic” breasts</strong></p> <p>Daniel Garrison Brinton was an army surgeon in the American Civil War. He later became a professor of ethnology and archaeology and edited The Medical and Surgical Reporter. In 1870, he and medical editor George Henry Napheys published <a href="https://catalog.hathitrust.org/Record/011601289">Personal Beauty: How to Cultivate and Preserve it in Accordance with the Laws of Health</a>.</p> <p>The book proposes ideal measurements for areas such as the forehead and the most distinctive features of the female body. Breasts are viewed as essential to beauty and the ideal they describe is youthful, with “firm and elastic” tissue that forms “true hemispheres in shape”.</p> <p>Very specific distances between nipples, the collar bone, and between the breasts themselves are specified, setting out perfect proportions.</p> <p>Brinton and Napheys claim that few European and American women meet these requirements, owing to the “artificial life” adopted in both locations. Controversially, they remark that such breasts do not exist in America, apart from in “some vigorous young country girl, who has grown up in ignorance of the arts which thwart nature”. The idea that beauty was more often destroyed by “artificial” beauty methods than improved by it was predominant.</p> <p>Personal Beauty promotes a device for improving the shape of the breast through suction because it meets the criteria for “natural” improvement. It is described similarly to <a href="https://www.amazon.ca/Lovely-Exercise-Muscle-Massager-nl-argement/dp/B07PQQSPWV">breast enlargement pumps</a> that are sold today as an alternative to breast augmentation.</p> <p>Brinton and Napheys’ reference to the potential of such a device to “restore the organs in great measure to their proper shape, size, and function” suggests they are referring to breasts that may have lost their fullness and symmetry after breastfeeding.</p> <p>It is unclear how such a device would not only improve the shapeliness of breasts, but also render them “better adapted to fulfil their functions”. However, the notion that function, which is reliant on health, is essential to beauty helps to support a medicalised understanding of the topic.</p> <p><strong>Beauty destroyed</strong></p> <p>This emphasis on health contributes to a tendency to focus on the ways that women destroy their own beauty through clothing, cosmetics, or certain types of exercise. A specific target in this book is the wearing of garters below the knee, which the authors claim is the reason why a “handsome leg is a rarity, we had almost said an impossibility, among American women”.</p> <p>Tightly-laced corsets, sucked-upon lips, and white face powders are frowned upon for potential harms to health. Yet, as doctors, Brinton and Napheys embrace early manifestations of cosmetic surgery, such as the removal of skin that might hang over the eyes.</p> <p>A significant point in guiding the acceptability of cosmetic usage is whether such a practice appears natural and undetectable. Imitation itself is not described as distasteful, if it can be achieved convincingly, but “the failure in the attempt at imitation” does inspire revulsion.</p> <p>As such, a wig that meshes with a women’s age and appearance can be acceptable. In contrast, it is “contrary to all good taste” to “give to the top of the head an air of juvenility which is flatly contradicted by all other parts of the person”.</p> <p>Personal Beauty focuses on preventative measures for retaining beauty and delaying the visible onset of ageing, rather than remedying flaws once they have taken hold. The book ultimately concludes that if all the measures recommended are undertaken, “there will be little need for the purely venal cosmetic arts, such as paint, powder, patches, or rouge”.</p> <p><strong>Embracing beauty culture</strong></p> <p>This understanding of cosmetics as pure reflections of vanity and as separate from beauty practices related to health was gradually challenged by women writers towards the end of the 19th century.</p> <p>Eliza Haweis wrote about the decoration and stylistic adornment of the home and body in British magazines and a series of books, the first of which was <a href="https://archive.org/details/artofbeauty00hawe/page/n10">The Art of Beauty </a>(1878). Its premise is that personal beauty and adornment of the body is of “the first interest and importance” for women.</p> <p>Many beauty manuals warned against any significant attempts to alter the face or body beyond basic health and hygiene. Such practices, <a href="https://muse.jhu.edu/article/663140/summary">as academic Sarah Lennox suggests</a>, were seen as “objectionable — as a hiding of inner truth”. Haweis, however, encourages young women to enhance their beauty and older women to continue to use methods that “conceal its fading away”.</p> <p>The methods that Haweis advocates reproduce prevalent ideas found in women’s magazines and beauty manuals that discouraged any visible sign of artifice and which championed the “natural”.</p> <p>Hygienic and cosmetic intervention are framed as exposing or fostering physical qualities as they ought to be seen, or providing a delicate “veil” for flaws, rather than attempting to entirely transform them.</p> <p>However, Haweis goes further than many beauty advisors at the time. Unlike many male writers, she is not opposed to cosmetics. She likens their use in “hiding defects of complexion, or touching the face with pink or white” to adding padding to a dress, piercing ears, or undergoing cosmetic dentistry.</p> <p>Part of the reason Haweis supports cosmetics and other methods of improving the appearance is because she observes that ugly people are treated differently.</p> <p>Walker sees beauty as a sign of higher intelligence. Many publications at the time presented a similar line of reasoning in suggesting that mean-spirited and nasty individuals would age horribly.</p> <p>Haweis, however, is unique in her entertainment of the possibility of ugliness negatively influencing character. She proposes that “an immense number of ill-tempered ugly women are ill-tempered because they are ugly”. She acknowledges that ugliness is in fact an “impediment” and a “burden”, which thereby supports her call to all women to work to improve their appearance.</p> <p><strong>Beauty today</strong></p> <p>Our understanding of what makes a woman beautiful is influenced by dominant cultural beliefs and hierarchies. Though Walker’s physiological beauty types were replaced by acceptance of the idea that women can retain beauty into older age or remedy unappealing features, many historic precepts about beauty continue to influence modern beauty culture.</p> <p>Ideas about “natural” beauty as superior to “artificial” beauty are reflected in cosmetic advertisements and plastic surgery procedures, with a “natural” or “undetectable” look to any product, facelift, or implant being the desired outcome for many women.</p> <p>Most of all, the idea that beauty is of prime importance to girls and women remains predominant, even as the cultural conditions surrounding marriage, employment, and family have substantially transformed since the 19th century.</p> <p>Haweis’ ideas about the significance of self-care resonate with contemporary feminists who point to women’s pleasure and empowered use of cosmetics.</p> <p>We have recently seen the emergence of male beauty bloggers and YouTubers. However, the continued sense that beauty is largely women’s preserve and a unique form of power that requires a continual fight to keep shows how an emphasis on women’s physical appearance is still entwined with gender inequality.</p> <p><em>Written by Michelle Smith. Republished with permission of </em><a href="https://theconversation.com/friday-essay-how-19th-century-ideas-influenced-todays-attitudes-to-womens-beauty-111529"><em>The Conversation</em></a><em>.</em></p>

Beauty & Style

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Double standards and derision – tracing our attitudes to older women and beauty

<p>Brigitte Macron, wife of French President Emmanuel Macron, is a rare example of an older woman in the public eye who has attracted <a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4483918/How-DOES-Macron-s-wife-defy-age.html">praise</a> for her appearance. At 64, Macron is 24 years older than her husband, but her healthy figure and youthful style of dress saw her <a href="http://www.vogue.co.uk/article/brigitte-macron-style-analysis">described in Vogue</a> as “rock ‘n’ roll”.</p> <p>While Macron is admired for her penchant for leather pants, women regularly face policing of their clothing and cosmetic choices once they reach <a href="http://www.whowhatwear.com.au/turning-30-fashion">the age of 30</a>. Ageing only brings about further restrictions, with few older women who cultivate their appearance successfully negotiating the line between looking acceptably young or upsettingly unnatural.</p> <p>Madonna, who will turn 60 next year, is a case in point; her attempts to retain a sexy image are sometimes described with <a href="http://www.thedailybeast.com/whats-so-gross-about-madonna-getting-older-it-seems">revulsion</a>. Piers Morgan described her as <a href="https://twitter.com/piersmorgan/status/587554092467228672?lang=en">“50 Shades of Granny”</a> after her 2015 kiss with Drake. Her famous muscles, which keep her skin taut, were called “monstrously sculpted and bloodcurdling veiny corpse arms” <a href="http://www.tmz.com/2009/07/27/madonnas-gruesome-twosome/">by TMZ</a> as the publication had a dig at her “toyboy” Jesus Luz.</p> <p>In contrast, Cher, at 71, <a href="http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/music/billboard-music-awards-2017-red-carpet-best-and-worst-dressed-stars/news-story/1407925bc4fdaa00ae700ccbb843dd86">recently wore</a> a replica of a near-nude costume from 1989 at the Billboard Music Awards and was generally praised as “amazing” and “owning it”.</p> <p>What is Cher doing to invite praise that Madonna isn’t? And where did restrictive ideas about beauty and ageing come from? When did we decide that there was a particular age at which women might incite criticism or disgust for attempting to look beautiful or desirable?</p> <p>A closer look at women’s magazines from the 19th century — the era in which modern advertising and celebrity culture were born — reveal the origins of many of our hang-ups about older women and beauty.</p> <p>In the first half of that century, beauty was understood as God-given or natural. Beliefs in physiognomy also suggested that the inner character of a woman might be visible in her face. In 1849, in an article that commented on the process of women’s ageing, the English magazine <a href="https://archive.org/details/worldoffashionco15lond">World of Fashion and Continental Feuilletons</a> observed:</p> <p>Neither rouge, artificial ringlets, nor all the resources of the toilet, can retard the relentless progress of that terrible foe to beauty, Time. But every one must have noticed how lightly his hand rests upon some, how heavily upon others … A good conscience is the greatest preservative of beauty. High and noble thoughts leave behind them noble and beautiful traces, meanness of thought and selfishness of feeling league with Time to unite age and ugliness together.</p> <p>This dismissal of cosmetics is typical of attitudes that saw beauty as a quality that a woman was either born with or not and its loss inevitable. In the final decades of the 19th century, however, women’s magazines transformed this belief.</p> <p>With the growth of advertising and beauty advice columns, there was gradual acceptance that fading looks should be combated by almost any means necessary. For older women, being visibly made up gradually became more tolerable, though the degree to which the cosmetics might be detectable was a point of contention. Women who foolishly attempted to recreate the charms of their youth were still harshly judged.</p> <p><strong>Cosmetics and ageing</strong></p> <p>The 30s were understood as a threshold for women entering middle age and no longer being considered at the peak of attractiveness. An advertisement for Madame Dupree’s Berlin Toilet Soap from 1890 promises “a return to youthful beauty” and specifies that the soap can “make […] a lady of 35 appear but 25”.</p> <p>A 1904 beauty manual by Lady Jean, Beauty as a Fine Art, is generous enough to suggest that a woman of 40 “is just entering upon a long summer of useful and enjoyable existence”. Yet it goes on to suggest that “anything that threatens to rob her of the outward sign of youth” could be “combated and defied by all reasonable means”.</p> <p>The rise of advertising and consumer culture in the Victorian period saw the birth of thousands of brand-name beauty products. Many promised readers that they could retain the markers of youth: a full head of luxurious hair with no bald spots or grey, a full set of teeth, a trim waist, and a clear and smooth complexion.</p> <p>Importantly, an overall distinction was made between products that might “preserve” youth, such as soaps, treatments and baths, and those that attempt to artificially conceal aged skin, such as obvious coloured cosmetics.</p> <p>There was greater acceptance of certain cosmetics such as powder and rouge in the late 19th century. However, lingering views about natural beauty and the unpleasantness of older woman attempting to present themselves as youthful ensured that cosmetic advertisements denied the artifice involved in their products.</p> <p>Advertisements for soaps, dyes and related beautifying aids emphasised their capacity to preserve what beauty women already possessed. Advertisements for hair restorers claimed (surely erroneously) they could renew grey hair to its original colour without the use of dye. An ad for Rossetter’s hair restorer from around 1880 also claims to give the hair “the lustre and health of youth”.</p> <p>In small print at the bottom of an undated advertisement for Blackham’s hair restorer, it is acknowledged that their Electric Hair Stain is a dye – but purchasers are reassured that this “cannot be detected”. In a similar vein to today’s attitudes to cosmetic surgery, this claim signals how women had to ensure improvements to their appearance were seen as natural and, ironically, unnoticeable.</p> <p>Soap was the most acceptable of commercial products for preserving youthful skin. Actresses and famous figures often provided written testimonials or directly featured in Victorian advertising. Sarah Bernhardt, a French actress, regularly appeared in beauty advertisements, including for Pears soap and her own rice-based face powder.</p> <p><strong>Ageing disgracefully</strong></p> <p>In contrast to frequent advocacy for soaps and home remedies in women’s magazines, the services and treatments of the infamous cosmetician <a href="http://www.victorianweb.org/science/health/rappaportch2.html">Madame Rachel, Sarah Rachel Levison</a>, provided well-publicised examples of older women who were imagined as foolish and vain for seeking to improve their appearances.</p> <p>Products provided at her London salon included Circassian Beauty Wash, Magnetic Rock Dew Water of Sahara for removing wrinkles, and Youth and Beauty Cream. In 1863, Rachel published a 24-page pamphlet, entitled “Beautiful For Ever!” It told how she now had the sole right to sell</p> <p>the Magnetic Rock Dew Water of Sahara, which possesses the extraordinary property of increasing the vital energies – restores the colour of grey hair – gives the appearance of youth to persons far advanced in years, and removes wrinkle, defect, and blemishes, from whatever cause they may arise.</p> <p>The treatment for which Madame Rachel was most famous was known as “enamelling”. This involved the removal of facial hair, cleansing of the skin with alkaline washes, then filling of any wrinkles or uneven facial features with a thick white paste, which sometimes contained lead. This was followed by the application of powder and rouge.</p> <p>The gullibility of older women in chasing the fountain of youth through cosmetics was amply illustrated in Madame Rachel’s trial for fraud in 1868. Her victim, 50-year-old Mary Tucker Borradaile, was described as an object of pity in the trial.</p> <p>One of the prosecutors, Montagu Williams, found it hard to believe that Borradaile could have believed she could be made beautiful forever. He later recalled her to be a pathetic figure in her attempts to look attractive despite her years:</p> <p>She was a spare, thin, scraggy-looking woman, wholly devoid of figure; her hair was dyed a bright yellow; her face was ruddled with paint; and the darkness of her eyebrows was strongly suggestive of meretricious art.</p> <p>It was recorded that Borradaile had been beautiful in her youth and was particularly noted for her long, golden hair. But, in court, her hair was observed to be unnaturally dyed or artificial. Fellow prosecutor William Ballantine described Borradaile as:</p> <p>a skeleton encased apparently in plaster of Paris, painted pink and white, and surmounted with a juvenile wig.</p> <p>According to <a href="https://books.google.com/books/about/Beautiful_For_Ever.html?id=9XNvgasBwgUC">Helen Rappaport</a>, when Borradaile entered the courtroom to give evidence, there were audible gasps at her made-up face.</p> <p>‘The absolute loss of empire’</p> <p>Horror at the cosmetically enhanced older woman continued to be expressed into the early 20th century. In <a href="https://books.google.com/books/about/The_Art_of_Being_Beautiful.html?id=JncBPAAACAAJ">The Art of Being Beautiful</a> from 1902, the supposedly 50-year-old interviewee, the Baroness, advises:</p> <p>For a woman to try and knock more than ten years off her age is an arrogance for which she is punished by every glance of the passers-by. When she tries as a brunette to make herself into a blonde by the use of unlimited white chalk, she also makes herself grotesque – as unpleasing as a fly that had dropped into a honey-pot. When, as a blonde, she adorns herself with black eyebrows like croquet hoops, frankly she becomes alarming, if not detestable.</p> <p>The Baroness also remarks that dyed hair does not complement “wrinkled cheeks”, especially when the dye chosen is of an “infantine yellow tint”. Apparently, there were certain signs of youth that older women should not attempt to recapture.</p> <p>While the Baroness critiqued the older woman who attempted to turn back the hands of time through excessive use of cosmetics, she did advocate for beauty regimens to slow the process of ageing. She described the loss of beauty as “the absolute loss of empire”. “Active preparations” for ageing were encouraged – in the same manner as the fire brigade, army and medical profession might ready for fires, war and disease.</p> <p>So as women aged, they were confronted with the choice of either accepting the gradual fading of their looks, or being criticised for trying to visibly ameliorate signs of age, attempting the impossible task of trying to stave off wrinkles and grey hair.</p> <p>These double standards are exceedingly familiar. Older women in the public eye are caught in a bind between being seen as excessive users of cosmetic surgery who have made themselves look unnatural, or of having aged or “let themselves go” to the point of no longer being seen as desirable and bankable.</p> <p>Actresses in their 50s, such as Meg Ryan and Daryl Hannah, regularly appear in photo galleries taking delight in “botched” plastic surgery or marvelling at “trout pouts”. Conversely, magazines and gossip sites pounced on unflattering photographs of Kirstie Ally, now 66, when she gained a significant amount of weight in 2008, and proclaimed her “washed up”.</p> <p>While a small number of women in the public eye, like Brigitte Macron, are seen to deftly negotiate these expectations of beauty and ageing, most are set up to fail.</p> <p><em>Written by Michelle Smith. Republished with permission of </em><a href="https://theconversation.com/friday-essay-double-standards-and-derision-tracing-our-attitudes-to-older-women-and-beauty-79575"><em>The Conversation</em></a><em>.</em></p>

Beauty & Style

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The right attitude is key to a happy retirement

<p><em><strong>Megan Giles, Retirement Transition Consultant, supports those approaching retirement to successfully transition and create a retirement they will love to live!</strong></em></p> <p>It’s disappointing when I hear people, be they young or old, who are bitter and complain about all of the things that are wrong in the world. For those who are nearing the retirement age, I hear things like “it was never like that in my day” and “my family don’t care, that’s why they never come to visit” or “what’s the point, I’m going to be gone soon”. Despite all of the good in the world, life seems to be pretty miserable for them.</p> <p>Not everyone has such a jaded outlook on life and in fact the vast majority of people I speak with look forward to stepping into retirement. This observation did, however, give me reason to pause and reflect on how people can view the world so very differently despite experiencing such similar and challenging circumstances.</p> <p>As an example, I met two ladies who were recently made redundant. Retirement was on the horizon but it was a decision that each of them wanted to make on their terms. This was a traumatic experience for both ladies as they received minimal notice and little compassion from management within their respective companies. Fortuitously each was in a strong financial position and did not need to work again unless they choose to. There were tears as each farewelled their colleagues and I know that their pride was damaged when informed that their skills and experience were no longer valued.</p> <p>That, however, is where the similarities ended.</p> <p>One is making the most of what life throws at her and is now experiencing a fulfilling retirement, whereas the other is fixated on all that has gone wrong and feels despondent and lonely.</p> <p>One lady surrounded herself with friends and family, celebrated the great milestones she achieved during her career, and took time to grieve for the job and colleagues lost. She then threw her energy into getting fit and healthy, spending time with her grandchildren and becoming more involved in the local community. As she says, ‘what other option did I have’? She may yet work again (if the right opportunity comes up), but for now her cup is full and life is pretty darn good.</p> <p>The second lady has had a far more tumultuous journey. When friends and family ask how she is fairing she is quick to remind them of her redundancy and that she was wronged. She constantly bemoans that she can’t afford to do ‘x’ or ‘y’ because ‘remember, I was made redundant’ and is quite rigid in how she sees her circumstances. For example she could enjoy the company of friends over a cheap and cheerful dinner at home, but instead appears to revel in her misfortune and declines offers to dine out. She projects a negative energy, is not fun to spend time with and not surprisingly friends start to distance themselves. This only compounds the problem.</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><img width="500" height="419" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/37363/megan-giles-1-in-text_500x419.jpg" alt="Megan Giles 1 In Text"/></p> <p>Why is it that people react to situations so vastly differently? From my experience it is how they step those situations and the lens that they choose see the world though. The Cause and Effect Model explains this simply (see image above). When faced with a tough situation we typically approach it from one of two positions. The first is the position of <em>cause</em> whereby we take ownership and responsibility for our actions and seek to influence the outcomes in moving forward. We acknowledge the things that we can do, be they big or small, as opposed to what we can’t. The alternative is to come from a position of<em> effect</em> whereby we blame others for our bad luck and make excuses for our behaviour and inaction. The <em>effect</em> mindset is an exhausting one because it assumes that we are the victims of circumstances and denies that we can do anything to change the situation.</p> <p>Whether we see the silver linings or focus on everything that is wrong and blaming others, is a choice that we make each and every day. My call to action to you, when faced with a challenge, is to adopt the position of <em>cause</em> and determine the steps you can take, no matter how small, to move yourself towards a retirement you love to live. It’s the only certain way to get there!</p> <p><strong><em>The key to success for the people who work with Megan is structured planning, looking beyond the finances, harnessing opportunities, informed decision making and tailored action. For more information visit,</em> <em><a href="http://www.megangiles.com/" target="_blank">www.megangiles.com</a>.</em></strong></p>

Retirement Life

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5 ways to ensure a successful retirement

<p>Making the transition to retirement is one of the biggest lifestyle upheavals you’re likely to face. It’s exciting, scary and everything in between. Thankfully, there are some easy ways to make sure your retirement is smooth sailing the whole way.</p> <p><strong>1. Adjust your attitude</strong></p> <p>Don’t think of retirement as an ending, think of it as a new beginning – the start of a whole new life. Think about all the time you’ll have to pursue your interests, spend time with loved ones and take some much-needed me time.</p> <p><strong>2. Find your passion</strong></p> <p>Consider yourself lucky – unlike all those working folk, now that you’re retired, you have the opportunity to pursue your hobbies and even find new ones. If you find yourself stuck trying to think of something new with which to occupy yourself, read our article on <a href="/health/caring/2016/04/how-to-find-your-ideal-hobby/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">how to find the perfect hobby</span></strong></a>.</p> <p><strong>3. Reinvent yourself</strong></p> <p>Education, part-time work and volunteering are all great ways to keep your mind sharp. There are some fantastic <a href="/lifestyle/retirement-life/2016/05/free-online-resources-for-education/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">free learning resources</span></strong></a> out there if you’d like to pick up a new skill, and we can’t recommend <a href="/lifestyle/retirement-life/2015/12/reasons-to-volunteer-in-retirement/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">volunteering</span></strong></a> highly enough. If part-time work sounds like something you’d be interested in, make sure you read <a href="/lifestyle/retirement-life/2016/05/3-questions-to-ask-before-coming-out-of-retirement/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">this</span></strong></a>.</p> <p><strong>4. Connect with others</strong></p> <p>The retirement process is a lot easier to get through with good friends and family by your side. Getting to know other retirees and members of your local community is not only a good way to ease the transition, but there are few better ways of meeting new people and making friends for life.</p> <p><strong>5. Plan ahead</strong></p> <p>It’s the one thing no one wants to think about, but the fact is, the more prepared you are for your death, the less burden will be placed on your family. Preparing a will, appointing a power of attorney and even organising your funeral or taking out funeral insurance are unpleasant but <a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/finance/legal/2015/08/planning-ahead-checklist-have-you-ticked-all-of-the-boxes/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">essential steps</span></strong></a> you should take.</p> <p>What tips do you have for other people making the transition to retirement? We’d love to hear them! Let us know in the comments below.</p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/retirement-life/2016/05/meet-the-oldest-peace-corps-volunteer/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Meet the oldest Peace Corps volunteer</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/retirement-life/2016/05/collect-these-things-now-to-make-money-later/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Start collecting these things now and make a fortune later</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/retirement-life/2016/04/i-found-retirement-overrated/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Retirement is overrated. Here’s what I did instead.</strong></em></span></a></p>

Retirement Life

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How to stay positive in hard times

<p>When life throws you a curveball, it’s only natural to feel down in the dumps. You might get some bad news regarding your health, have marital or family issues, or find yourself in a tricky financial situation.</p> <p>Whatever the problem, before you throw yourself a pity party and start believing the negative voice in your head, consider changing your point of view.</p> <p>Reframing your problems by giving them a more positive spin can make you feel much better in the long term. Here’s how to do it.</p> <p><strong>What are you grateful for?</strong></p> <p>It’s easy to focus on what we don’t have, but try to think about what you do have that makes you happy. A secure home, a caring partner, or good health are all things to be thankful for during uncertain times. Even small things such as the other driver who lets you into their lane, when written down as a gratitude list, can quickly add up and help you rebuild your positive attitude. It’s great to read back on weeks later too, for an uplifting boost.</p> <p><strong>What could you do for others?</strong></p> <p>While this may not be possible if you are just trying to get through the day, it could be an option for down the track. Spending time helping other people can give you some perspective on your own problems, and gives you a top up of good feelings. You could volunteer your time in a soup kitchen, a charity shop, or at a school – find something that suits your interests, and it might just give you a new reason to keep putting one foot in front of the other.</p> <p><strong>What have you learned?</strong></p> <p>Trying to put a positive spin on a bad time in your life can be really tough but very helpful. Have you made a new friend during your time of hardship, found out how kind your neighbours are, or realised that you are more resourceful than you thought? These are all positives that you should dwell on.</p> <p><strong>What are you saying to yourself?</strong></p> <p>If you find yourself in a negative thought pattern after the fact, this can keep you in the downward spiral that could lead to depression. Ideas such as “I deserve this” or “It’s my fault this happened” don’t do anyone any good; so when you find your thoughts going in this direction, take action. Replace the negative thought with a positive one, and keep repeating it to yourself until you believe it. For instance “I have a loving family” or “I am so lucky to be financially secure” can put you in a better frame of mind.</p> <p>We can’t change the world or stop bad things from happening to us. But what we do have control over is the way that we react to things as they crop up. Having a more positive outlook can help you get through anything that life throws your way.</p> <p>Have you found any successful ways to stay positive when life gets you down? We would love to hear your tips in the comments below.</p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/06/overcoming-pain-using-the-power-of-the-mind/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Overcoming pain using the power of the mind</span></em></strong></a></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/06/trick-to-make-you-a-morning-person/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>The 4 tricks guaranteed to make you a morning person</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/06/extraordinarily-simple-ways-to-be-happy/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">5 extraordinarily simple ways to be happy</span></em></strong></a></p>

Mind

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Parents’ beliefs about failure are crucial for kids

<p>As grandparents we hope that our grandchildren will do well at school and become intelligent young adults. We can foster the love of learning in children by supporting them with a positive attitude towards failure.</p> <p>While it may not come naturally, teaching kids that there are lessons to be learned from failure can set them up for success as adults. Research has found that parents who see failure as an opportunity to learn pass this mindset on to their children. Conversely, a parent who is anxious or upset about failure (such as a child not getting into a team, or receiving a low grade in an exam) will often have children who believe that intelligence is fixed from birth and that we can’t learn from our mistakes.</p> <p>This negative view of failure by parents can cause children to lack motivation to try harder. They may feel as though there is no point trying when their intelligence is predetermined.</p> <p>In the study, published in <em>Psychological Science</em>, researchers looked at the answers to a questionnaire answered by 73 sets of children and parents. They wanted to measure their mindsets in terms of failure, asking them to respond to statements such as 'Experiencing failure facilitates learning and growth', and 'You can learn new things but you can't really change how intelligent you are.'</p> <p>The relationship between the parents’ and children’s attitudes to failure was clear. The parents who felt that failure was a negative issue had kids who viewed intelligence as fixed.</p> <p>Beliefs about intelligence can both positively and negatively affect a child’s academic performance. Research has found time and again that splitting a group of kids who are of equal ability into separate classes (a class for the ‘gifted’ and one for ‘slow learners’), will give results according to the group they were placed in.</p> <p>For parents (and grandparents), having a positive attitude towards failure (think ‘what can we do in order to get a better result next time’ rather than ‘this is a terrible outcome’) can have a profound effect on kids.</p> <p>If parents can show the children that there are benefits of failing (such as ‘what can we learn from this?’) they will see it as an opportunity to learn, rather than something to be feared. Talk about times that you have failed, and how this steered you in a new direction or taught you something new about yourself. Discuss famous people that faced failure and ended up doing something great. Let them know that even if they fail, they should at least always try their best.</p> <p>Have you got any advice for handling failure, and putting a positive spin on it? We would love for you to share your story in the comments.</p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/06/having-a-sibling-makes-boys-selfless/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Having a sibling makes boys selfless</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/06/sibling-rivalries-in-my-childhood-shaped-who-i-am-today/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Sibling rivalries in my childhood shaped who I am today</span></em></strong></a></p> <p><a href="/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/05/kids-are-the-worst-instagram/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>In pictures: Kids behaving badly</strong></em></span></a></p>

Family & Pets

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Why happiness equals better health and a longer life

<p><em><strong>Sophie Scott is the national medical reporter for ABC, in addition to being a prominent public speaker. Sophie has won numerous awards for excellence in journalism and is the author of two books, </strong></em><strong>Live a Longer Life</strong><em><strong> and </strong></em><strong>Roadtesting Happiness</strong><em><strong>.</strong></em></p> <p>Scientists know that happiness can affect physical health from boosting the immune system to reducing the risk of diseases such as heart disease. But exactly why your state of mind has such an effect on the rest of the body isn’t clear. One explanation could be that happy people produce less of the stress hormone “cortisol”, which is known to dampen the immune system.</p> <p>Another study, known as the Nuns Study, backed up the theory that positive attitude aids longevity. Researchers followed 678 nuns from six convents in the United States. Looking at essays the nuns had written on entering the convent, they found those who were more positive when they entered the convent lived significantly longer, as much as ten years, than those who were less optimistic.</p> <p>Some researchers have found a direct link between positive attitude and how quickly people age physically. University of Texas researchers found those people with an upbeat view of life were less likely to feel physically frail or aged, than those who were more pessimistic “Those who had a positive outlook on life were significantly less likely to become frail,” according to lead researcher Glenn Ostir.</p> <p>So if positive thoughts can make such a difference to living a happier, longer life, why aren’t we all doing it? Many people aren’t aware of the link between optimism and health and as a result, most people don’t see it as a priority. Most people don’t see that there are significant benefits that can come from thinking more optimistically. “We are a society with a materialistic focus,” Dr Tim Sharp says. “We all want the bigger car, house and television, but in our quest for that, we overlook important things like thinking about your state of mind,” he says. The path to happiness requires discipline, and people find that difficult to grasp. They think it’s something that should come naturally, instead of something we have to work at.</p> <p>Dozens of studies have shown that the things we believe will bring us happiness, such as a promotion or a new car, won’t raise your feelings of joy for long. Dr Daniel Gilbert is a leading happiness expert from Harvard University. His studies asked university students to report on positive or negative events in the past year. He found within three months of something happening (whether good or bad), the effect on people’s wellbeing was negligible. He believes that while major events such as the death of a spouse can last for years, for most people, the emotional benefits from external events is short lived.</p> <p>There is growing research that seeking happiness through possessions and material goals, won’t lead to a more fulfilled life. Many studies show that people who focus on experiences such as being with friends and family, doing satisfying work or being creative, will end up happier than those who focus on goals such as making more money.</p> <p>Research by Edward Diener of the University of Illinois has found after basic needs are fulfilled, higher income doesn’t equate to greater happiness levels. Studies by Edward Diener and Martin Seligman found university students who rated themselves as happiest had the strongest ties to family and friends.</p> <p>Their studies examined the characteristics of the highest 10 percent of college students in terms of happiness. A paper published in the journal <em>Psychological Science</em> looked at 222 undergraduate college students, comparing the top 10 per cent who were consistently happy to the bottom 10 per cent. “The very happy people are highly social, with strong romantic and other social relationships, compared to less happy groups,” they wrote. They were more outgoing, more agreeable and less neurotic. The happiest group was not more religious nor did they report that more ‘good events’ happened to them. “The happiest group experienced positive, but not ecstatic feelings, most of the time, and they did report occasional negative moods. This suggests that very happy people do have a functioning emotion system that can react appropriately to life events,” the authors said.</p> <p><strong>Case study: Vera W, 91</strong></p> <p>Vera was my 91-year-old grandmother. I think one of the main reasons for her good health and longevity was her positive attitude and her overall zest for life. She was someone who was in excellent physical health until her 90s. So much so that she was able to live at home, unassisted until she was 90.</p> <p>She was passionate about many things in life, including cooking, gardening and her family and friends. Mentally I don’t think she ever felt old. She would refer to people who were younger than her as ‘elderly’. I don’t think she ever thought about her age or ever saw herself as old. She certainly never felt dependent on others. With a large clan of grandchildren and great grandchildren, she was very interested in young people and the lives of people around her. And she had a resilience and enthusiasm for life that was infectious. She had many passions, with cooking at the top of her list. She would cut out recipes and send them to her family to try, as well as perfecting her own recipes which became family favourites. She lived a life of balance and peace and was happy despite out-living two husbands. Her spirit of optimism rubbed off on those around her. Maybe that is one of the reasons she lived such as long and happy life.</p> <p><em>This is an extract from Sophie Scott’s </em>Live A Longer Life<em>. To purchase the book, please visit Sophie’s <a href="http://www.sophiescott.com.au/store/c1/Featured_Products.html" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">website here</span></strong></a>.</em></p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/05/knowing-who-you-are-is-key-to-overcoming-challenges/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">The secret to overcoming life’s challenges</span></em></strong></a></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/04/9-traits-of-emotionally-strong-people/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">9 traits of emotionally strong people</span></em></strong></a></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/04/10-signs-youre-too-self-critical/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">10 signs you’re too self-critical</span></em></strong></a></p>

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What happiness means for different people around the world

<p>Happiness. It’s a term that is as difficult to define as it is to hold onto. This might explain why sociologists spend a significant amount of time researching the concept of happiness and its application around the world. Surveys such “The World Values” survey and the United Nations' “World Happiness Report” endeavor to measure and rank counties in terms of their wellbeing and yes happiness.</p> <p>The problem, however, lies in the huge variance in how different cultures and countries understand happiness. In parts of China for example preparing for and picking out an outfit for your funeral is seen as a cause for reassurance and celebration. Eighty-six-year-old Mrs Xie who lives in Dongshan, a city on China's South Eastern coast, has an active life, yet she has already bought the pants, shirt, shoes, earrings and purse she will wear after she dies, as well as an embroidered yellow pillow for her head. She had a portrait taken that will be displayed at her funeral. None of this is seen as upsetting or macabre. The idea that getting ready for one's funeral can be "a happy thing" shows just how much ideas of happiness can differ from country to country. </p> <p>Happiness surveys and reports try to find common measures or metrics that work equally well internationally. As the above example illustrates, this can be extremely difficult. Environmental factors, social progress, personal growth and self-acceptance are often factored into the surveys but the jury is out on whether these metrics actually indicate happiness levels.</p> <p>The biggest problem it seems is how the concept of “happiness” varies in different cultures and languages. In English, the word "happy" can refer to a variety of different thing from the mood you experience when you’re presented with a gift to how you feel when spending time with loved ones. In Denmark, a country that often tops the ‘happiest country’ ranks, happiness is often translated as lykke — a term that can describe a kind of everyday well-being that might be brought on by a nice cup of coffee or great weather. In Chinese, there are several different terms for happiness, each of which have a slightly different meaning.</p> <p>It is the Chinese definitions that a new survey is focusing on at the moment and which takes into account the three dimensions of happiness — a good mood, a good life and a sense of whether one’s life has meaning, otherwise referred to as ‘xingfu’. The research hopes to uncover the varied aspects and components that contribute to happiness as a whole and how different cultural understandings impact this.</p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/06/extraordinarily-simple-ways-to-be-happy/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>5 extraordinarily simple ways to be happy</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/05/why-we-need-to-learn-to-let-go-as-we-get-older/"><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>Why it’s healthy to learn to let go as we get older</strong></span></em></a></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/05/happiness-can-help-you-live-longer/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Happiness can help you live longer</strong></em></span></a></p>

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The health benefits of a positive attitude

<p>"Stay positive" – it's what we say when life throws a curve ball. But what good will that really do? Well for starters, it might add years to your life.</p> <p>Just ask anyone who's now working in Positive Health, a developing field that looks at links between psychological wellbeing and physical health. There may be different ways to describe and define 'positivity', but the results seem to be pointing to the same thing: a positive mind equals a healthy body.</p> <p>One of the latest studies comes from the University of Queensland, showing a positive attitude can improve your immune system and may help you live longer.</p> <p>The study tested older people's recall of positive versus negative images and found that those who remembered more positive images also had better immune function.</p> <p>Lead researcher Dr Elise Kalokerinos said a positive attitude played an important role in healthy ageing.</p> <p>What's also interesting is that older people generally tend to favour more emotionally positive material than negative - a phenomenon that's been termed the ageing positivity effect.</p> <p>"Despite the fact that people often think of late life as a period of doom and gloom, older people are often more positive than younger people," says Kalokerinos.</p> <p>"Our research suggests that this focus on the positive may help older people protect their declining health."</p> <p>And it could be that they've cottoned on to what some of us are still discovering - that positivity, illness and mortality are all linked. That might sound like a given - a natural assumption to make, but science is about facts, and researchers are putting a lot of effort into proving the positivity link.</p> <p><strong>Evidence has been building</strong></p> <p>The scope for this research is almost endless. For example, a 2003 study found a link between increased daily doses of positive emotions and not catching a cold.</p> <p>Researchers have also found that a sunny outlook might increase longevity. One of the most famous studies to make this point was the Nun Study published in 2001.</p> <p>Researchers looked at the handwritten autobiographies of 180 nuns who joined the School Sisters of Notre Dame congregation in the 1930s and 40s and found a very strong link between positive emotional content in those writings and longevity six decades later. On average, nuns who wrote with more positive emotions lived longer than their less cheery counterparts. At age 85, 90 per cent of the happy nuns were alive, while only 34 per cent of the unhappy nuns were alive. At age 94, 54 per cent of the happy nuns were alive, compared to only 11 per cent of the unhappy nuns.</p> <p>According to Dr Aaron Jarden, senior lecturer in psychology and researcher at AUT's Human Potential Centre, other studies have linked positivity with up to 11 years' increase in longevity.</p> <p>He says research is preliminary but the science is good. "Most of the evidence is strong and robust."</p> <p>Where results have been mixed, it's typically been around the study of 'optimism', which is only one spoke in the big wheel of wellbeing.</p> <p>"There is a link between optimism and positive emotions or increased wellbeing, but it's only one facet."</p> <p>He adds that "being optimistic in a health sense is not always good for you - you can delay seeking treatment, for example".</p> <p>So then, if optimism isn't the measure of 'positivity', what is?</p> <p><strong>The scope of positivity - let's call it wellbeing</strong></p> <p>Jarden explains that 'positivity' in the research field means a "positive ratio of positive emotions versus negative emotions".</p> <p>But even that definition's moved on. Nowadays 'positivity' is interchangeable with 'wellbeing' - both descriptions pointing to a positive state of mind.</p> <p>"We look at wellbeing as a mix of positive emotions and a cognitive judgement of how well your life is going," says Jarden.</p> <p>Essentially, that means your wellbeing is the comprehensive summary of your emotional parts, which includes life satisfaction, happiness, meaning and purpose, optimism, self-regulation, engagement in life and having emotional support.</p> <p><strong>But how does it all link back to our health?</strong></p> <p>The way your thoughts and emotions translate to better health is a bit like a virtuous circle.</p> <p>"It's your cognitions or thoughts - they all lead to your emotions. But they're also linked to your behaviours, so if you're thinking positively you'll probably be more active. And if you're more active, you'll probably think more positively," says Jarden.</p> <p>It's a logical mind-body split: "The body is all about 'eat, move, sleep'. But the mind entices that through those positive thoughts. So you're probably going to move more, make better dietary decisions and sleep better if you're thinking more positively."</p> <p>The opposite of all that is if you're not eating well, not moving well, and not sleeping well - that will usually result in both poor physical and psychological health.</p> <p>The very good news is that wellbeing is within our reach - research has gone so far as to even teach us that.</p> <p>Jarden says around 50 per cent of wellbeing is genetic; 40 per cent is within your control, and 10 per cent is environmental, i.e. the circumstances you find yourself in.</p> <p>"Most people think their circumstances count for a lot more than that," he notes.</p> <p>The point to take from all this is that 40 per cent is in our control - factors we can change. Ending on a perfectly positive note, Jarden makes the point, "If you've got control over 40 per cent of your wellbeing, then you can have a big impact on your health outcomes too."</p> <p>Are you someone who believes in the virtues of positivity? What sort of things do you try to do to cheer yourself up and maintain a positive attitude?</p> <p>Please let us know in the comments below.</p> <p><em>Written by Aileen Nakhle. First appeared on <a href="http://Stuff.co.nz" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Stuff.co.nz</span></strong></a>.</em></p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/05/happiness-can-help-you-live-longer/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Happiness can help you live longer</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/05/tips-to-maintain-positive-mental-health/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>5 tips to maintain positive mental health</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/04/scientific-ways-to-improve-the-mood-of-your-home/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>9 scientific ways to improve the mood of your home</strong></em></span></a></p>

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New research links Alzheimer's risk with negative thoughts about ageing

<p>How you feel about ageing could influence your risk against Alzheimer’s, according to recent research.</p> <p>A study by Yale University found a link between negative thoughts on ageing and an increased risk of developing Alzheimer’s. The findings, published in the journal of <em>Psychology and Aging</em>, analysed data from the Baltimore Longitudinal Study of Ageing, where 158 healthy people were asked to rate their agreement with statements like “older people are absent-minded” or “older people have trouble learning new things”. The participants answered the questions in their 40s and 25 years later underwent annual MRIs for a decade.</p> <p>Researchers found the people who believed in negative age stereotypes had “significantly steeper decline” in their hippocampal volume – the brain region which is associated with Alzheimer’s disease – than their peers who were more age-positive. People who believed ageist stereotypes showed the same amount of decline in three years as their age-positive group in nine years.</p> <p>In the first study to look at the link between ageist stereotypes and age-related diseases, the researchers noted there was no conclusive proof that negative thoughts on ageing impacted the decline, but speculated the stress could be a reason.</p> <p>“We believe it is the stress generated by the negative beliefs about ageing that individuals sometimes internalise from society that can result in pathological brain changes,” Becca Levy, a lead researcher from the Yale School of Public Health, said in a statement.</p> <p>“Although the findings are concerning, it is encouraging to realize that these negative beliefs about aging can be mitigated and positive beliefs about aging can be reinforced, so that the adverse impact is not inevitable,” Levy said.</p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/01/holistic-ways-to-promote-good-vibes/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">10 ways to bring good vibes in your life</span></em></strong></a></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/01/quotes-about-self-improvement/"><em><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Inspiring quotes from the world’s most successful people</span></strong></em></a></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2015/12/questions-to-work-out-what-makes-you-happy/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">10 questions to work out what really make you happy</span></em></strong></a></p>

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How to master the attitude of gratitude

<p><strong><em>Judy Freedman is an award-winning blogger, social media influencer and communications consultant, her passions include traveling, bicycling, mindfulness meditation and yoga. Here Judy shares her story about making gratitude part of her daily life.</em></strong></p> <p>Tomorrow will mark eight years since my husband M died. As my grief instructor S said shortly after M’s passing: “The hole in your heart will get smaller, but it will never fully close.” S was right.</p> <p>My life has evolved a great deal since those dark days of December 2007. One of the biggest behaviours that has created positive change in my life after 50 is having an attitude of gratitude. Like yoga and mindfulness, having an attitude of gratitude is an awareness practice. With gratitude I’m learning to have more contentment for all the things I have and all the things I can do, versus being disappointed with the things I don’t have or can’t do.</p> <p>For example, when I see my friends celebrating their 25th or 30th wedding anniversaries sometimes I am sad that M and I will never have an opportunity to achieve such a milestone. Then the gratitude meter checks in and I become grateful for the 24 years we did have together. It’s more than many couples get, especially with the rate of divorce in this country.</p> <p><strong>Wearing gratitude on my wrist</strong><br /> I wear a MyIntent bracelet on my wrist with the word “GRATITUDE.” It acts as a constant prompt to be thankful for all the things I can do. “Breathe because you can,” said my yoga teacher N in today’s class. N is right, I am grateful that I can breathe. I chose the word GRATITUDE for MyIntent bracelet.</p> <p><strong>A bucket full of gratitude</strong><br /> If I could hold all my gratitude in a container, it would fill up a huge bucket. In that bucket would be my daughter A and my son D, my boyfriend L, my BFF L and BFF R, my sister N, my late mom and dad, and many more friends and family members. I’d add the gratitude for my beautiful home and my condo on the corner at the shore, top that with my yoga and meditation practice, and for the retirement I earned from my full-time job that is enabling me to live life to the fullest during my second act. There’s more, more, more gratitude for you, my blog readers who bring me great joy each week when we connect through my posts.</p> <p>Ah yes, the gratitude bucket sometimes gets blown over by negative thoughts that creep in, especially when the aches and pains of my aging body act up or I see more wrinkles on my face. Then I remember that gratitude is a practice and it’s not going to be perfect every day.</p> <p><strong>The benefits of a gratitude practice</strong><br /> Nancy Rones, from Yoga Journal wrote that “Practicing gratitude four times a week – by keeping a gratitude diary and listening to a guided recording for fostering gratefulness in life – lowered study participants’ levels of depression and stress and increased their happiness within three weeks, according to a recent Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine study.” Wow, in less than a month this little practice can boost happiness!</p> <p>For sure when I honour M tomorrow evening at our temple services, my gratitude bucket will be full as I hold him close in my heart. The tears may shed as they usually do, yet the framed quote that hangs in my office will remind me of how truly grateful I am to have had M in my life for each of the 24 years I did. As it says, “When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure.”</p> <p>Read more from Judy's blog<em><strong><a href="http://aboomerslifeafter50.com/" target="_blank"> here.</a><br /></strong></em></p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><em><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/retirement-life/2016/01/should-you-practise-retirement/">Should you “practise” retirement?</a></em></strong></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><em><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/retirement-life/2016/01/how-to-find-a-hobby-you-love/">How to find a hobby you love</a></em></strong></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><em><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/retirement-life/2016/01/benefits-of-living-in-a-retirement-village/">The benefits of living in a retirement village</a></em></strong></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong> </strong></span></p> <p> </p>

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