How I fell head over heels in love with my pet
<p><em><strong>Barbara Binland is the pen name of a senior, Julie Grenness, in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia. She is a poet, writer, and part-time English and Maths tutor, with over 40 years of experience. Her many books are available on Amazon and Kindle.</strong></em></p>
<p>So, you want a fur friend for your retirement! Domestic animals. For example, a dog. This is food for thought: who is these days domesticating whom? Exactly who invented emotional blackmail? Why, our pets.</p>
<p>This is a little tale for you. Say you buy a puppy. Ooh, a cute fluffy puppy, like a Shi-Tsu. Ahh, cute and fluffy. You buy it a bed, a flash set of doggy bowls for food and water. You have to purchase it a leash, a collar, a coat, toys, flea and worming treatments. Plus your new owner, the puppy, shall need regular clippings. Ahh, a cute and fluffy puppy.</p>
<p>Ahh, so cute. You place your puppy in the middle of the lounge room. Ahh, a little puddle. You promptly clean the carpet. Now you need to buy carpet cleaners and deodorants. Ahh, a cute and fluffy Shi-Tsu. So adorable. You buy a brush and puppy pen, and tenderly place your Shi-Tsu puppy in it. Ahhh, it does not like its puppy pen. It chews its way into the family room. You love this little fur friend already. So cute and fluffy.</p>
<p>What’s next? Ahhhh, look the Shi-Tsu’s found your only pair of slippers. Ahhh, well, they were your slippers. Never mind. Ahhh, look, it’s time for a cute little puppy’s dinner. You kindly place appropriate puppy nibbles in its shiny brand new bowl. The cute and fluffy puppy does not want to eat the food! Ahhh! What is it going to eat? Looking in the fridge, you find some steak. Ahh, now you are cooking. Your cute and fluffy. Shi-Tsu thinks you are full of it, but basically lovable so long as you cook steak. Ahh, your puppy loves you. Ahhh, unconditional love. It has already acquired effective communication and emotional blackmail capability. Ahhh, little Shi-Tsu, so cute and fluffy, and funny.</p>
<p>Look, now it is chewing the skirting board in the family room. Ahh, you love your puppy. Then, it is bedtime. Ahhh, you place your cute and fluffy Shi-Tsu in its bed, also cute and fluffy, with its brand new toys. You head off to bed after cleaning a couple more puddles. Ahhhh, exhausted, you sink into and turn off the bedside lamp. Wrong! A persistent whining and howling emanates from the family room. Ahhh, cute and fluffy Shi-Tsu is lonely. Ahhh, you pet your puppy. Ahhh, don’t wriggle in bed, your puppy might not like that. Ahhhh, your puppy snores! Delightfully cute. Ahhh, so cute and fluffy. Never mind, you can buy earplugs.</p>
<p>See, you have acquired a canine who does not speak English, but it has already mastered effective communication. Never mind, “Tomorrow is a new day!” Your new cute and fluffy owner can sleep on your bed all day, while you drive off to the supermarket in the rain to buy it more steak. Don’t forget the earplugs!</p>
<p>Never mind. You have been domesticated in symbiosis by emotional blackmail. Unconditional love? So, you wanted a companion fur friend in retirement. Yes, your dog shall make your world a better place…</p>
