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Woman “bullied” on plane over budget seating trick

<p dir="ltr">A young woman has recalled a flight from hell when she was “bullied” by a couple who were trying to utilise a seating hack that went viral on TikTok. </p> <p dir="ltr">The solo traveller took to Reddit to recount the story and ask social media users if she was in the wrong for her action. </p> <p dir="ltr">The woman began by saying she usually pays more to select her plane seat ahead of time, but a medical emergency on another plane had her waiting on standby and left with no option other than to sit in a middle seat.</p> <p dir="ltr">When she was finally able to board, she was greeted by a couple who had purchased both the window and aisle seats in a bid to have more space, utilising a travel “trick” that has been popular on TikTok.</p> <p dir="ltr">The method, which has been dubbed the 'poor man's business class', usually leaves travellers with an empty middle seat and more space, and few travellers opt to pick a middle seat. </p> <p dir="ltr">“When I got to my row the man and woman were chatting and sharing a snack... it was obvious they were together. I mentioned to the man that I'm in the middle, and he got up to let me in,” the unsuspecting traveller wrote on Reddit.  </p> <p dir="ltr">“I asked them if they would prefer to sit together, I said I was totally okay with that. The woman reacted rudely to this and said ‘you're not supposed to be sitting here anyway’.”</p> <p dir="ltr">After noticing how the plane was full, she offered to show the pair her new ticket with the correct seat number on it.</p> <p dir="ltr">“She flicked her hand at my ticket and made a disgusted sound. I offered again if they wanted to sit together to which she didn't reply, her partner said it's okay and... made some small talk,” she continued. </p> <p dir="ltr">The man’s girlfriend then interrupted their conversation to ask,”'Did you use one of those third party websites to book your flight? It's so frustrating when people cheap out to inconvenience others.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The American woman explained that she had booked her flight directly and she had been placed on standby like everyone else and didn't choose the middle seat - she was assigned it.</p> <p dir="ltr">She then tried to keep the peace by refusing to engage with the furious woman.  </p> <p dir="ltr">“I was so done with her attitude, I put my headphones on and attempted to do my own thing,” she explained.</p> <p dir="ltr">But the “entitled” girlfriend wasn't letting it go, as the woman explained, “This woman kept reaching over me and tapping her partner and trying to talk to him in a way that was super intrusive.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“I could tell even her partner was trying to engage her less so that she would hopefully stop, but she didn't.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“I think they tried to pull that tactic where they don't sit together on purpose...hoping no one will sit between them. But on full flights it doesn't work. And even so - it's not the other person's fault.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The traveller's post was met with hundreds of comments slamming the girlfriend’s behaviour, as one person wrote, “It's like a toddler having a tantrum.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“She was disappointed and a total a**hole. Gross entitled people,” another added. </p> <p dir="ltr">Another person applauded the traveller’s level-headed behaviour, writing, “Wow! You are my hero for keeping it classy - I’m afraid I would not have been as kind as you.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Travel Trouble

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Think you’ve decided what to buy? Actually, your brain is still deciding – even as you put it in your basket

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/tijl-grootswagers-954175">Tijl Grootswagers</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/western-sydney-university-1092">Western Sydney University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/genevieve-l-quek-1447582">Genevieve L Quek</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/western-sydney-university-1092">Western Sydney University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/manuel-varlet-156210">Manuel Varlet</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/western-sydney-university-1092">Western Sydney University</a></em></p> <p>You are standing in the cereal aisle, weighing up whether to buy a healthy bran or a sugary chocolate-flavoured alternative.</p> <p>Your hand hovers momentarily before you make the final grab.</p> <p>But did you know that during those last few seconds, while you’re reaching out, your brain is still evaluating the pros and cons – influenced by everything from your last meal, the health star rating, the catchy jingle in the ad, and the colours of the letters on the box?</p> <p>Our recently published <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-024-62135-7">research</a> shows our brains do not just think first and then act. Even while you are reaching for a product on a supermarket shelf, your brain is still evaluating whether you are making the right choice.</p> <p>Further, we found measuring hand movements offers an accurate window into the brain’s ongoing evaluation of the decision – you don’t have to hook people up to expensive brain scanners.</p> <p>What does this say about our decision-making? And what does it mean for consumers and the people marketing to them?</p> <h2>What hand movements tell us about decision-making</h2> <p>There has been <a href="https://www.annualreviews.org/content/journals/10.1146/annurev-psych-010419-051053">debate within neuroscience</a> on whether a person’s movements to enact a decision can be modified once the brain’s “motor plan” has been made.</p> <p>Our research revealed not only that movements can be changed after a decision – “in flight” – but also the changes matched incoming information from a person’s senses.</p> <p>To study <a href="https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-024-62135-7">how our decisions unfold over time</a>, we tracked people’s hand movements as they reached for different options shown in pictures – for example, in response to the question “is this picture a face or an object?”</p> <p>When choices were easy, their hands moved straight to the right option. But when choices were harder, new information made the brain change its mind, and this was reflected in the trajectory of their hand movements.</p> <p>When we compared these hand movement trajectories to brain activity recorded using neuroimaging, we found that the timing and amount of evidence of the brain’s evaluation matched the movement pattern.</p> <p>Put simply, reaching movements are shaped by ongoing thinking and decision-making.</p> <p>By showing that brain patterns match movement trajectories, our research also highlights that large, expensive brain scanners may not always be required to study the brain’s decision evaluation processes, as movement tracking is much more cost-effective and much easier to test on a large scale.</p> <h2>What does this mean for consumers and marketers?</h2> <p>For consumers, knowing our brains are always reevaluating decisions we might think of as “final” can help us be more aware of our choices.</p> <p>For simple decisions such as choosing a breakfast cereal, the impact may be small. Even if you have preemptively decided on a healthy option, you might be tempted at the last minute by the flashy packaging of a less healthy choice.</p> <p>But for important long-term decisions such as choosing a mortgage, it can have serious effects.</p> <p>On the other side of the coin, marketers have long known that many purchase decisions are <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0969698912000781">made on the spot</a>.</p> <p>They use strategies such as attractive packaging and strategic product placement to influence people’s decisions.</p> <p>New ways of studying how people’s brains process information – right up to the last minute – can help marketers design more effective strategies.</p> <h2>Opportunities for further research</h2> <p>Further research in this area could explore how different types of information, such as environmental cues or memories, affect this continuous decision evaluation process in different groups of people. For example, how do people of different ages process information while making decisions?</p> <p>Our finding – that hand movements reflect the inner workings of the brain’s decision making process – could make future studies cheaper and more efficient.</p> <p>The ability to fine-tune marketing in this way has implications beyond just selling products. It can also make public strategic messaging far more effective.</p> <p>This could include tailoring a public health campaign on vaping specifically for people aged under 30, or targeting messaging about superannuation scams more effectively at those of retirement age.</p> <p>The act of reaching for a product is not a simple consequence of a decision already made; it’s a highly dynamic process. Being aware of what influences our last-minute decision-making can help us make better choices that have better outcomes.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/234167/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/tijl-grootswagers-954175">Tijl Grootswagers</a>, Senior Research Fellow in Cognitive Neuroscience, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/western-sydney-university-1092">Western Sydney University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/genevieve-l-quek-1447582">Genevieve L Quek</a>, Research Fellow, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/western-sydney-university-1092">Western Sydney University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/manuel-varlet-156210">Manuel Varlet</a>, Associate Professor in Cognitive Neuroscience, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/western-sydney-university-1092">Western Sydney University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/think-youve-decided-what-to-buy-actually-your-brain-is-still-deciding-even-as-you-put-it-in-your-basket-234167">original article</a>.</em></p>

Mind

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Tourist's shocking behaviour sparks fury

<p>Locals were left fuming after a picture of a tourist wearing next to nothing while shopping down a busy street went viral in Palma, Mallorca. </p> <p>The man confidently made his way through the sunny city centre in nothing but a pair of Speedos and shoes, surrounded by others who were fully dressed. </p> <p>“Please arrest these near naked people,” one woman wrote.</p> <p>“Or the shirtless, near nude, bikini wearing morons who wander around markets, towns and shops. Ukkk! Quality tourism can’t come soon enough!" she added. </p> <p>“Another moron that should be banned from the island," another commented. </p> <p>“If the government/police were serious, they could slowly improve Mallorca by banning all these types of idiots.”</p> <p>Another local added that tourists would not behave like this at home and that his behaviour displayed a “lack of respect” typical of many tourists.</p> <p>Others were confused about where the holidaymaker was keeping his wallet as it seemed like he only held on to his phone and a red garment. </p> <p>One local even asked why he wasn't arrested, and someone replied:  “Mallorca has some great laws in place. Unfortunately, nobody seems to enforce them.”</p> <p>It is illegal to only wear a bikini or swimming shorts in some public parts of Spain – including the Balearic Islands.</p> <p>Tourists can cop a fine of up to $1000 for wearing swimwear or going shirtless anywhere but the beach. </p> <p>The incident comes after weeks of furious anti-tourist protests, with residents in the Tenerife saying they are “fed-up” of “low quality” Brit tourists who only come for the cheap beer, burgers and sunbathing. </p> <p><em>Image:  Majorca Daily Bulletin</em></p> <p> </p>

Travel Trouble

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Early indicators of dementia: 5 behaviour changes to look for after age 50

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/daniella-vellone-1425451">Daniella Vellone</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-calgary-1318">University of Calgary</a> </em></p> <p>Dementia is often thought of as a memory problem, like when an elderly person asks the same questions or misplaces things. In reality, individuals with dementia will not only experience issues in other areas of cognition like learning, thinking, comprehension and judgement, but they may also experience <a href="https://www.alzint.org/u/World-Alzheimer-Report-2021.pdf">changes in behaviour</a>.</p> <p>It’s important to understand what dementia is and how it manifests. I didn’t imagine my grandmother’s strange behaviours were an early warning sign of a far more serious condition.</p> <p>She would become easily agitated if she wasn’t successful at completing tasks such as cooking or baking. She would claim to see a woman around the house even though no woman was really there. She also became distrustful of others and hid things in odd places.</p> <p>These behaviours persisted for some time before she eventually received a dementia diagnosis.</p> <h2>Cognitive and behavioural impairment</h2> <p>When cognitive and behavioural changes interfere with an individual’s functional independence, that person is considered to have dementia. However, when cognitive and behavioural changes don’t interfere with an individual’s independence, yet still negatively affect relationships and workplace performance, they are referred to as <a href="https://alzheimer.ca/sites/default/files/documents/other-dementias_mild-cognitive-impairment.pdf">mild cognitive impairment (MCI)</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1186/s13195-021-00949-7">mild behavioural impairment (MBI)</a>, respectively.</p> <p><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9169943/">MCI and MBI can occur together</a>, but in one-third of people who develop Alzheimer’s dementia, the behavioural symptoms come <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.jagp.2019.01.215">before cognitive decline</a>.</p> <p>Spotting these behavioural changes, which emerge in later life (ages 50 and over) and represent a persistent change from longstanding patterns, can be helpful for implementing preventive treatments before more severe symptoms arise. As a medical science PhD candidate, my research focuses on problem behaviours that arise later in life and indicate increased risk for dementia.</p> <h2>Five behavioural signs to look for</h2> <figure class="align-center zoomable"><a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/551071/original/file-20230928-17-jmy46j.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/551071/original/file-20230928-17-jmy46j.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/551071/original/file-20230928-17-jmy46j.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=525&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/551071/original/file-20230928-17-jmy46j.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=525&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/551071/original/file-20230928-17-jmy46j.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=525&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/551071/original/file-20230928-17-jmy46j.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=659&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/551071/original/file-20230928-17-jmy46j.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=659&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/551071/original/file-20230928-17-jmy46j.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=659&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" alt="Illustration of five behaviour changes that may indicate risk of dementia" /></a><figcaption><span class="caption">Spotting behavioural changes can be helpful for implementing preventive treatments before more severe symptoms arise.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Daniella Vellone)</span></span></figcaption></figure> <p>There are <a href="https://doi.org/10.3233%2FJAD-160979">five primary behaviours</a> we can look for in friends and family who are over the age of 50 that <a href="https://doi.org/10.1186/s13024-023-00631-6">might warrant further attention</a>.</p> <h2>1. Apathy</h2> <p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1002%2Ftrc2.12370">Apathy</a> is a decline in interest, motivation and drive.</p> <p>An apathetic person might lose interest in friends, family or activities. They may lack curiosity in topics that normally would have interested them, lose the motivation to act on their obligations or become less spontaneous and active. They may also appear to lack emotions compared to their usual selves and seem like they no longer care about anything.</p> <h2>2. Affective dysregulation</h2> <p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jad.2023.03.074">Affective dysregulation</a> includes mood or anxiety symptoms. Someone who shows affective dysregulation may develop sadness or mood instability or become more anxious or worried about routine things such as events or visits.</p> <h2>3. Lack of impulse control</h2> <p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1002%2Ftrc2.12016">Impulse dyscontrol</a> is the inability to delay gratification and control behaviour or impulses.</p> <p>Someone who has impulse dyscontrol may become agitated, aggressive, irritable, temperamental, argumentative or easily frustrated. They may become more stubborn or rigid such that they are unwilling to see other views and are insistent on having their way. Sometimes they may develop sexually disinhibited or intrusive behaviours, exhibit repetitive behaviours or compulsions, start gambling or shoplifting, or experience difficulties regulating their consumption of substances like tobacco or alcohol.</p> <h2>4. Social inappropriateness</h2> <p><a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1017/S1041610217001260">Social inappropriateness</a> includes difficulties adhering to societal norms in interactions with others.</p> <p>Someone who is socially inappropriate may lose the social judgement they previously had about what to say or how to behave. They may become less concerned about how their words or actions affect others, discuss private matters openly, talk to strangers as if familiar, say rude things or lack empathy in interactions with others.</p> <h2>5. Abnormal perceptions or thoughts</h2> <p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1038/s44220-023-00043-x">Abnormal perception or thought content</a> refers to strongly held beliefs and sensory experiences.</p> <p>Someone with abnormal perceptions or thoughts may become suspicious of other people’s intentions or think that others are planning to harm them or steal their belongings. They may also describe hearing voices or talk to imaginary people and/or act like they are seeing things that aren’t there.</p> <p>Before considering any of these behaviours as a sign of a more serious problem, it’s important to rule out other potential causes of behavioural change such as drugs or medications, other medical conditions or infections, interpersonal conflict or stress, or a recurrence of psychiatric symptoms associated with a previous psychiatric diagnosis. If in doubt, it may be time for a doctor’s visit.</p> <h2>The impact of dementia</h2> <p>Many of us know someone who has either experienced dementia or cared for someone with dementia. This isn’t surprising, given that dementia is predicted to affect <a href="https://www.ctvnews.ca/health/nearly-one-million-canadians-will-live-with-dementia-by-2030-alzheimer-society-predicts-1.6056849#:">one million Canadians by 2030</a>.</p> <p>While people between the ages of 20 and 40 may think that they have decades before dementia affects them, it’s important to realize that dementia isn’t an individual journey. In 2020, care partners — including family members, friends or neighbours — spent <a href="https://alzheimer.ca/sites/default/files/documents/Landmark-Study-1-Path-Forward-Alzheimer-Society-of-Canada-2022-wb.pdf">26 hours per week</a> assisting older Canadians living with dementia. This is equivalent to 235,000 full-time jobs or $7.3 billion annually.</p> <p>These numbers are expected to triple by 2050, so it’s important to look for ways to offset these predicted trajectories by preventing or delaying the progression of dementia.</p> <h2>Identifying those at risk</h2> <p>While there is currently no cure for dementia, there has been progress towards <a href="https://alzheimer.ca/en/about-dementia/dementia-treatment-options-developments">developing effective treatments</a>, which <a href="https://alzheimer.ca/en/about-dementia/do-i-have-dementia/how-get-tested-dementia-tips-individuals-families-friends/10">may work better earlier in the disease course</a>.</p> <p>More research is needed to understand dementia symptoms over time; for example, the online <a href="https://www.can-protect.ca/">CAN-PROTECT study</a> assesses many contributors to brain aging.</p> <p>Identifying those at risk for dementia by recognizing later-life changes in cognition, function as well as behaviour is a step towards not only preventing consequences of those changes, but also potentially preventing the disease or its progression.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/213954/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/daniella-vellone-1425451"><em>Daniella Vellone</em></a><em>, Medical Science and Imaging PhD Candidate, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-calgary-1318">University of Calgary</a></em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/early-indicators-of-dementia-5-behaviour-changes-to-look-for-after-age-50-213954">original article</a>.</em></p>

Mind

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Parents slapped with hefty fee over badly behaved children

<p dir="ltr">Two parents have been slapped with a hefty fine tacked onto their restaurant bill after their children caused a ruckus during dinner. </p> <p dir="ltr">Kyle and Lyndsey Landmann were dining at a restaurant in Georgia, USA, when they were given a $50 fine for their allegedly badly behaved kids. </p> <p dir="ltr">Two weeks after the incident, Kyle took to Google to leave a negative review for the eatery to say he was “disappointed by the experience”. </p> <p dir="ltr">“The owner came out and told me he was adding $50 to my bill because of my children’s behaviour,” he wrote. </p> <p dir="ltr">“My kids watched a tablet until the food arrived, ate their food and my wife took them outside while I waited and paid the bill.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Lyndsey went on to tell <em>Today</em> that her kids were well behaved, although they were joined by other families, with 11 children in total at the table. </p> <p dir="ltr">“The kids were sitting at one end of the table and they were being so good,” Landmann said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“'I even commented halfway through the meal, ‘I can’t believe how well-behaved they are’.”</p> <p dir="ltr">After dinner, restaurant owner Tim Richter approached the table and told the party about the additional charge on the menu, which reads, “Adult surcharge: For adults unable to parent.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“Be Respectful to staff, property, and self. No Respect, No Service.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Landmann said she was expecting a compliment for the well behaved kids, but Richter said there would be $50 added to each bill at their table. </p> <p dir="ltr">When Landmann then asked for an explanation, she claimed Richter told her they were being “too loud”.</p> <p dir="ltr">He was angry that the kids were “running around outside” by the water after dinner, even though they were chaperoned by adults, she clarified.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I was like, ‘They were quiet the whole time’. He got in our faces and told us that we belonged at Burger King and not at his restaurant. We asked to speak to the owner and he said he was the owner,” Landmann explained.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I looked around the restaurant and everybody was frozen watching this show he was putting on. He was yelling.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The 61-year-old restaurant owner said that he implemented the rule during the pandemic, but never actually charged the couple, saying, “We want parents to be parents.”</p> <p dir="ltr">However, several other Google reviews blasted the quality of the service and the owner's attitude, including one that warns diners with children to steer clear.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Facebook</em></p>

Money & Banking

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Instagram is making you a worse tourist – here’s how to travel respectfully

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lauren-a-siegel-1416907">Lauren A. Siegel</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-greenwich-1298">University of Greenwich</a></em></p> <p>Travel is back in full swing this summer, and so is bad behaviour by tourists.</p> <p>Popular destinations have seen an uptick in incidents involving tourists in <a href="http://darwin.cnn-travel-vertical.ui.cnn.io/travel/article/tourists-behaving-badly/index.html?gallery=0">recent years</a>. Reports of a <a href="https://www.euronews.com/culture/2023/06/30/hunt-for-tourist-who-carved-name-in-colosseum-intensifies">man defacing</a> the Colosseum in Rome shows that behaviour has deteriorated even in places that rarely had problems in the past.</p> <p>What’s behind these abhorrent acts? One answer, <a href="https://ertr-ojs-tamu.tdl.org/ertr/article/view/541/178">my research shows</a>, is social media. Instagram and TikTok have made it easy to find “hidden gem” restaurants and discover new destinations to add to your bucket list. But this democratisation of travel has had other consequences.</p> <p>Because people now see their social media connections from their home environment travelling in an exotic location, they assume (consciously or not) that behaviour they ordinarily carry out at home is also acceptable in that holiday destination.</p> <p>This is known as <a href="https://fs.blog/mental-model-social-proof/">social proof</a>, when we look to the behaviours of others to inform our own actions. People are likely to act more <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0013916508319448">hedonistically while on holiday</a>. Now, travellers also look to social media for proof of how others behave. If their peers from home are throwing caution to the wind while on holiday, this can cause a domino effect of bad behaviour.</p> <p>I’ve identified other bad travel attitudes and habits that have emerged as a result of <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2212571X23000045?via%3Dihub">social media-driven tourism</a>.</p> <p>For example, the <a href="https://thedecisionlab.com/biases/identifiable-victim-effect">identifiable victim effect</a>, which explains how people are more likely to sympathise with victims of tragedies when they know who those victims are. Because tourists are often sheltered in hotels and resorts away from local communities, they might (wrongly) think that travelling to a place far from home is an opportunity for consequence-free bad behaviour. They underestimate or ignore the effect their actions can have on locals or the economy.</p> <h2>The Instagram effect</h2> <p>When people travel to a beautiful place, the temptation to post photos and videos to social media is high. But, as <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13683500.2022.2086451">I have argued</a>, this creates a cycle that contributes to more self-indulgent travel.</p> <p>First, tourists see their friends post photos from a place (revealed through geotags). They then want to visit the same places and take the same sorts of photos of themselves there. Eventually they post them on the same social networks where they saw the initial photos.</p> <p>Being able to travel to and post about visiting the same places as one’s social group or online connections can be a form of <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10548408.2018.1499579?casa_token=mVH_AlLB_4kAAAAA%3Ahdz29HMEh5aCiK4TopW8WBS3lY2ZJ2n6CZQWhL5aH7d-ZK3lpsvUlowHtdy4Pa-e7ergNJgcGfI">social status</a>. But it means that, in some cases, travellers will put more energy into creating content than they will to exploration, discovery or being respectful to local customs.</p> <h2>Hotspots respond</h2> <p>Bali is one destination with a reputation for social media-induced tourism. The photogenic island, replete with yoga retreats, is a huge draw for influencers.</p> <p>In response to tourist misbehaviour, Bali <a href="https://thebalisun.com/balis-much-anticipated-list-of-dos-and-donts-for-tourists-revealed/">introduced new guidelines</a> for visitors in June 2023. These include rules about proper behaviour in the sacred temples, around the island and with locals, and respecting the natural environment.</p> <p>Tourists now need a <a href="https://thebalisun.com/bali-warns-tourists-must-have-international-driving-license-to-drive-scooters-on-the-island">licence</a> for motorbike rentals, and may not set foot on any mountain or volcano in Bali due to their sacred nature. Travellers must only stay in registered hotels and villas (which will impact a number of Airbnb properties). Bali has introduced a “tourist task force” to enforce the restrictions, through raids and investigations if necessary.</p> <p>One new guideline is to not act aggressively or use harsh words towards locals, government officials or other tourists both while in Bali, or, notably, online. This speaks to the role of social media as part of the problem when it comes to bad tourist behaviour.</p> <p>Other destinations have taken similar steps. <a href="https://pledge.visiticeland.com">Iceland</a>, <a href="https://mauitourism.org/Videos/malama-pledge.htm">Hawaii</a>, <a href="https://palaupledge.com">Palau</a>, <a href="https://www.tiakinewzealand.com">New Zealand</a>, <a href="https://costarica-sanctuary.com/make-it-happen/">Costa Rica</a> and others have adopted pledges for visitors to abide by local laws and customs. Campaigns like Switzerland’s <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXcBGfXXL4w">No Drama</a>, Austria’s <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pgn3Y7kvJXE">See Vienna – not #Vienna</a>, Finland’s <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/travel/2019/oct/17/finland-be-more-like-finn-campaign-tourism-pledge-initiatives">Be more like a Finn</a> and the Netherlands’ <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/dariosabaghi/2023/03/31/amsterdam-launches-stay-away-campaign-targeting-wild-party-behavior-of-young-british-tourists/">How to Amsterdam</a> are aimed at attracting well-behaved tourists.</p> <p>Where such efforts aren’t successful, some places such as Thailand’s famous Maya Bay have taken it further and fully closed to tourists, <a href="https://edition.cnn.com/travel/article/maya-bay-thailand-recovery-c2e-spc-intl/index.html">at least temporarily</a>.</p> <h2>Travel respectfully</h2> <p>Remember you are a guest of the host communities when you travel. Here are some ways to ensure that you will be asked back.</p> <p><strong>1. Do your research</strong></p> <p>Even if you’re a seasoned traveller, you may not realise the impact your actions have on local communities. But a bit of information – from your own research or provided by local governments – might be enough to help you act more appropriately. Before you go, look up guidelines or background information on local cultural or safety norms.</p> <p>Whether you agree with the customs or not is irrelevant. If it is a more conservative place than you are used to, you should be mindful of that – unlike the two influencers who were <a href="https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2019/08/16/bali-warns-misbehaving-tourists-will-sent-home-instagram-influencers/">arrested</a> for explicit behaviour in a temple in Bali.</p> <p><strong>2. Put down your phone…</strong></p> <p>Research shows that when travelling, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S016073831730097X">people can become alienated</a> from their surroundings if they are more focused on their devices than the destination.</p> <p>Often the most memorable travel experiences will be when you have a meaningful connection with someone, or learn something new that you’ve never experienced before. That becomes harder if you’re constantly looking at your phone.</p> <p><strong>3. …or use your influence for good</strong></p> <p>In popular “Instagram v reality” <a href="https://matadornetwork.com/read/instagram-vs-reality-tuscany-switzerland/">posts</a>, influencers are revealing the huge crowds and queues behind the most Instagrammable locations.</p> <p>Showing the less-than-glamorous conditions behind those iconic shots could influence your own social media connections to rethink their personal travel motivations – are they just going somewhere to get the perfect selfie? Having more evidence of these conditions circulating online could lead to a larger societal shift away from social media-induced tourism.</p> <p>If you have the urge to post, try to promote smaller businesses and make sure you are demonstrating proper (and legal) etiquette on your holiday.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/209272/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lauren-a-siegel-1416907">Lauren A. Siegel</a>, Lecturer, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-greenwich-1298">University of Greenwich</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/instagram-is-making-you-a-worse-tourist-heres-how-to-travel-respectfully-209272">original article</a>.</em></p>

Travel Tips

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Stepson of billionaire trapped on sub called out for gross behaviour

<p>The stepson of the billionaire trapped onboard the OceanGate Titanic submersible has been called out online for attending a rock concert while his step-father remains missing in the Atlantic Ocean. </p> <p>Brian Szasz is the stepson of billionaire Hamish Harding, who is trapped on the missing vessel along with four others, days after the group left on an expedition to the wreckage of the Titanic. </p> <p>While rescue efforts continue to locate the group, Szasz has caused a stir online after being spotted with a beaming smile attending a Blink-182. </p> <p>Among those furious and confused by Szasz's actions was rapper Cardi B, who slammed the man on Instagram to her 167 million followers. </p> <p>"One of the billionaires that's missing underwater from that submarine s–t …Their stepson is at a concert, right?" Cardi B starts.</p> <p>The rapper noted that she felt that attending a concert, and post about it online amid the search and rescue of a loved one felt tone deaf.</p> <p>"People is like, um, 'What is he supposed to do? Be sad at the house? Is he supposed to go look for him himself?' Yes," she said.</p> <p>"Isn't it sad that you a whole f—ing billionaire and nobody gives a f–k about you?" the rapper asks. "That's crazy. I'd rather be broke. I'd rather be broke and poor, but knowing that I'm loved."</p> <p>Szasz fired back at the rapper, telling her to "show some class for once in your life", while he responded to the media storm after he claimed his family "would've wanted him to go" to the concert. </p> <p>"Yes, I went to @Blink182 last night. What am I supposed to do, sit at home and watch the news? Not sorry this band has helped me through hard times since 1998."</p> <p>Just hours after the online backlash over attending the concert, Szasz was once again being slammed online for flirting with an OnlyFans model on Twitter.</p> <p>Szasz retweeted an image of Only Fans it-girl Brea flashing her backside in a G-string with the caption, “can i sit on u” on the social media site, with Szasz responding, “Yes please!”</p> <p>The post came just minutes after he asked followers to “please keep my family in your prayers.”</p> <p>One commenter wrote of the unusual behaviour, “Lmao quote tweeting a thirst trap while your stepdad is lost at sea is wild business”, as another slammed, “Unreal to be tweeting this [right now.]”</p> <p>Another user added, “This guy loves blink-182 and having ladies sit on his face and he’s not afraid to let the world know.”</p> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 16px 0px 20px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 28px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em>Image credits: Facebook / Action Aviation</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Why does my dog eat grass? And when is it not safe for them?

<p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/susan-hazel-402495">Susan Hazel</a>, <em><a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-adelaide-1119">University of Adelaide</a></em> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/joshua-zoanetti-1439474">Joshua Zoanetti</a>, <em><a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-adelaide-1119">University of Adelaide</a></em></p> <p>Have you ever wondered why your dog is eating your beautifully cropped lawn or nibbling at the grass at the dog park?</p> <p>Eating grass is a common behaviour in pet dogs. Some surveys show <a href="http://raw-feeding-prey-model.fr/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/WhydogogsandcatseatgrassGrassVetMed2008-2.pdf">up to 80%</a> of guardians notice their dog regularly snacking on the grass.</p> <p>Grass eating isn’t a new behaviour either, or only done by our new designer dog breeds. Studies in Yellowstone National Park show plant matter (mostly grass) is found in up to <a href="https://academic.oup.com/jn/article/136/7/1923S/4664711">74% of wolf scats</a>, suggesting the behaviour is possibly inherited from the beginning of doggy time.</p> <figure class="align-center zoomable"><a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/529490/original/file-20230601-21796-wl09tw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/529490/original/file-20230601-21796-wl09tw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/529490/original/file-20230601-21796-wl09tw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=390&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/529490/original/file-20230601-21796-wl09tw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=390&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/529490/original/file-20230601-21796-wl09tw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=390&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/529490/original/file-20230601-21796-wl09tw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=490&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/529490/original/file-20230601-21796-wl09tw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=490&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/529490/original/file-20230601-21796-wl09tw.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=490&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" alt="" /></a><figcaption></figcaption></figure> <h2>So why does my dog eat the grass?</h2> <p>A lot of people think dogs eat grass when they have a sore stomach, believing grass causes dogs to vomit. This is probably not the case; a study with <a href="https://www.une.edu.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0019/32446/bjone-brown-price-grass-eating20patterns-raan-2007.pdf">12 dogs that ate grass daily</a> found there were few vomiting episodes and the ones that did occur came after the dog had eaten a meal.</p> <p>And if a dog has a mild gastrointestinal disturbance because of something they’ve been fed, they are in fact <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0168159109003311">less likely</a> to eat grass than if they are fed a normal diet.</p> <p>Other theories include that dogs eat grass because they want a laxative or that it provides roughage in their diet (get that fibre!).</p> <p>Like the vomiting discussed above, there is little to no scientific proof for most of these theories. For example, in the study of <a href="https://www.une.edu.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0019/32446/bjone-brown-price-grass-eating20patterns-raan-2007.pdf">12 dogs mentioned above</a>, all of them were wormed and had no previous digestive problems. Yet all 12 still happily ate grass (709 times).</p> <p>Their main finding was that when the dog had not yet had their daily meal, they were more likely to eat grass. In short, the hungrier the dog, the more likely they were to eat some grass.</p> <p>The answer to why your dog eats grass may simply be: because they like to. Your dog may be bored, and chewing on grass is something to do.</p> <p>Maybe your dog just enjoys eating grass. Ripping grass from the ground can be satisfying. The texture and taste of grass offers something different to what they usually eat. You may even notice they prefer grass in certain seasons; perhaps fresh spring grass a favourite delicacy.</p> <figure class="align-center zoomable"><a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/529491/original/file-20230601-23190-7g4mhp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/529491/original/file-20230601-23190-7g4mhp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/529491/original/file-20230601-23190-7g4mhp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/529491/original/file-20230601-23190-7g4mhp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/529491/original/file-20230601-23190-7g4mhp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=401&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/529491/original/file-20230601-23190-7g4mhp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=504&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/529491/original/file-20230601-23190-7g4mhp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=504&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/529491/original/file-20230601-23190-7g4mhp.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=504&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" alt="" /></a><figcaption></figcaption></figure> <h2>Is there any reason why you shouldn’t let your dog eat grass?</h2> <p>Well, yes, there are several. Firstly, you may not want your dog eating your neighbour’s immaculately presented fancy Kikuyu lawn.</p> <p>More importantly, though, grass is sometimes treated with herbicides. Grass at the local oval or parkland may have been treated or sprayed. Some local councils use a non-hazardous dye to show where grass has been sprayed with <a href="https://www.yassvalleytimes.com.au/general-news/council-to-use-marker-dye-when-spraying-weeds/">herbicide</a>, which is very helpful.</p> <p>Lawn chemicals are frequently detected in lawn for up to 48 hours after they’re applied, and have also been detected in the urine of dogs with <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0048969713003100?via%3Dihub">access to grass</a> treated this way.</p> <p>Research has suggested there may be a <a href="https://avmajournals.avma.org/view/journals/javma/224/8/javma.2004.224.1290.xml">link</a> between bladder cancer in dogs and exposure to herbicides.</p> <p>In fact, dogs may even act as sentinels; the same chemical exposures appear in the urine of dogs and people <a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/journal-of-clinical-and-translational-science/article/environmental-chemical-exposures-in-the-urine-of-dogs-and-people-sharing-the-same-households/C3F9330A4AA7723FE78CE5D492071F55">sharing the same environment</a>.</p> <figure class="align-center zoomable"><a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/529492/original/file-20230601-22271-5juhsh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/529492/original/file-20230601-22271-5juhsh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/529492/original/file-20230601-22271-5juhsh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/529492/original/file-20230601-22271-5juhsh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/529492/original/file-20230601-22271-5juhsh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=400&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/529492/original/file-20230601-22271-5juhsh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/529492/original/file-20230601-22271-5juhsh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/529492/original/file-20230601-22271-5juhsh.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=503&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" alt="" /></a><figcaption></figcaption></figure> <p>If you are using herbicides on your own grass, remove your dog, their toys, food and water bowls from the area prior to any application.</p> <p>Make sure the pesticide has completely dried out before you allow the dog back in the area, and be certain to check the packaging for the appropriate drying time period.</p> <p>This is particularly the case for granular pesticides or fertilisers that soak into the soil, as these can require up to 24 hours or longer.</p> <p>If you want to reduce the risk even further, hand weeding may be a <a href="https://www.cnet.com/home/kitchen-and-household/is-weed-killer-safe-for-pets-what-to-know/">better option</a>.</p> <p>Apart from grass, many leaves, flowers and berries from common plants can be toxic to your dog. <a href="https://www.aspca.org/pet-care/animal-poison-control/toxic-and-non-toxic-plants/o?&">This includes</a> plants such as oleander and arum lily; even oregano and bay leaves can cause vomiting and diarrhoea in dogs.</p> <p>One of the best things you can do for your dog is take them for a walk. And if they eat some grass along the way, provided it has not been sprayed with herbicide, you have nothing to worry about.</p> <p>Don’t worry if they occasionally vomit. If there is more serious vomiting or diarrhoea, however, please consult your vet.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/205658/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em>Image credit: Shutterstock</em></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/susan-hazel-402495">Susan Hazel</a>, Associate Professor, School of Animal and Veterinary Science, <em><a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-adelaide-1119">University of Adelaide</a></em> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/joshua-zoanetti-1439474">Joshua Zoanetti</a>, PhD candidate in Veterinary Bioscience, <em><a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-adelaide-1119">University of Adelaide</a></em></p> <p>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-does-my-dog-eat-grass-and-when-is-it-not-safe-for-them-205658">original article</a>.</p>

Family & Pets

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How not to behave on a plane

<p>Flying economy, it’s easy to lose sight of the fact we’re all in it together.</p> <p><strong>1. The Armrest Warrior</strong></p> <p>They dominate the shared armrests and can provoke an in-flight turf war.<br /><strong>Strategise:</strong> Sharing is best, or one ‘outside’ rest for window and aisle seats and both for the middle. If someone’s obsessed with claiming ownership, it may be worth retreating peacefully for a more relaxing journey.</p> <p><strong>2. The Recliner</strong></p> <p>Their seat goes back as soon as the plane levels out and stays there until landing, making it impossible for those behind to work or eat.<br /><strong>Strategise:</strong> On a short flight, reclining is frowned upon. On longer flights, keep your seat straight until it’s acceptable to recline – generally once meal trays have been collected.</p> <p><strong>3. The Hygiene Offender</strong></p> <p>It’s a long flight, so they took a long run beforehand, then covered up with the strongest deodorant available. <br /><strong>Strategise:</strong> While most of us arrive at the airport fresh and clean, the close quarters of a plane mean that normally pleasant smells like curry and fragrance can affect other passengers. On long-haul flights, pack wet-wipes for an inflight wash and a change of socks, top and underwear.</p> <p><strong>4. The Chatterer</strong></p> <p>These flyers can’t wait to talk your ear off for the duration of the flight. <br /><strong>Strategise:</strong> Have headphones or a laptop ready to show you’re busy. Nervous flyers may need you to chat to calm them; remind them planes are statistically the safest way to travel.</p> <p><strong>5. The Overhead Storage Hog</strong></p> <p>They get on early and stuff every available overhead locker with their excess carry-on.<br /><strong>Strategise:</strong> Store heavy items under the seat in front of you, then look for free space in the overheads, accepting you may not get it above your seat.</p> <p><em>Written by Jackie Middleton. This article first appeared in <a href="http://www.readersdigest.co.nz/travel/flights/How-Not-to-Behave-on-a-Plane">Reader’s Digest</a>.</em></p> <p><em>Images: Getty</em></p>

Travel Trouble

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Travelers will refuse an upgrade to sit near a loved one – new research into when people want to share experiences

<p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ximena-garcia-rada-1238853">Ximena Garcia-Rada</a>, <em><a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/texas-aandm-university-1672">Texas A&amp;M University</a></em>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/michael-norton-145591">Michael Norton</a>, <em><a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/harvard-university-1306">Harvard University</a></em>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rebecca-k-ratner-1439964">Rebecca K. Ratner</a>, <em><a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-maryland-1347">University of Maryland</a></em></p> <p><em>The <a href="https://theconversation.com/us/topics/research-brief-83231">Research Brief</a> is a short take about interesting academic work.</em></p> <h2>The big idea</h2> <p>People will often sacrifice a better experience and opt for one that’s less enjoyable if it means they can do it alongside a loved one – whether that’s a romantic partner, close friend or relative. That’s the main finding of <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/jcpy.1352">our research</a> published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology in April 2023.</p> <p>For example, when taking a flight, two friends might decide to sit in adjacent seats in coach rather than accept a free upgrade to nonadjacent seats in first class. Failing to choose togetherness can have consequences, as in the “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2JKXbVGq7A">Seinfeld” episode</a> in which Elaine suffers the indignities of economy class, leading to rage against Jerry after he chooses to accept an upgrade.</p> <p>We conducted five studies in a variety of settings and featuring different social bonds, including friendships and romantic relationships. In one study, just over half of people chose two adjacent seats far from the stage over two nonadjacent seats closer to the stage when imagining they were attending a Cirque du Soleil performance with a close friend, compared with only about one-third who chose the adjacent seats when imagining attending with an acquaintance.</p> <p>In another study, we asked students whether they wanted to eat one chocolate with another person – either a new friend or a stranger – or two chocolates alone. Half the people chose the shared experience – but only if the other person was a friend. Fewer people – 38% – opted for the shared experience if the other person was a stranger.</p> <h2>Why it matters</h2> <p>One reason people prioritize physical proximity with close partners is because they want to create shared memories. Importantly, people believe that physical distance can disrupt the creation of shared memories, and so they forgo enjoyable experiences apart from their loved one.</p> <p>This also matters for companies seeking to improve customer experience, such as an airline offering free upgrades or shorter wait times. Our findings suggest that, for example, consumers traveling with a companion might not take advantage of services like TSA PreCheck, an airline VIP lounge or a free upgrade if it is available only for themselves. It also helps explain why consumers do not like when <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2023/03/06/travel/airlines-family-seating-dashboard.html">airlines split up families</a> in their seat assignments.</p> <p>However, we also tested a few initiatives marketers can use to encourage people to choose a higher-quality experience that requires them to be apart from their companion. In another experiment, we described a train ride as either a fun part of an excursion or as a practical way to reach a final destination. More participants accepted a free upgrade – even though it required sitting apart from their romantic partner – when they perceived the train ride as utilitarian. That’s because they cared less about creating shared memories during the experience.</p> <h2>What still isn’t known</h2> <p>We still don’t know how this preference affects relationship quality.</p> <p>For example, when can time apart from your partner actually strengthen the relationship? And how should couples split their time between lower-quality activities done together and higher-quality activities done alone? One option for separate activities, for example, might be when one partner’s desired activity does not interest the other.</p> <p>Also, given that people believe physical proximity is a prerequisite for creating shared memories, how can partners who live in different places also cultivate shared memories? This question is especially important in light of how COVID-19 has enabled more people to work and study remotely.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/205363/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em>Image credit: Getty</em></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ximena-garcia-rada-1238853">Ximena Garcia-Rada</a>, Assistant Professor of Marketing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/texas-aandm-university-1672">Texas A&amp;M University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/michael-norton-145591">Michael Norton</a>, Professor of Business Administration, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/harvard-university-1306">Harvard University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rebecca-k-ratner-1439964">Rebecca K. Ratner</a>, Professor of Marketing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-maryland-1347">University of Maryland</a></em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/travelers-will-refuse-an-upgrade-to-sit-near-a-loved-one-new-research-into-when-people-want-to-share-experiences-205363">original article</a>.</em></p>

International Travel

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How to decode your pet's behaviour

<p>Ever wondered if your pet is trying to tell you something? We took a closer look at the meaning of pet behaviour - you might be surprised at what we found.</p> <p>Unless your pet is Ed the horse or Lassie the dog, you've probably found yourself in a situation where you have no clue what they are trying to tell you with a particular behaviour. The way your pet pants, rolls over and runs may all have something to do with a message they're trying to send you. Whether you're wanting to become a dog whisperer or are simply interested in what certain actions your cat does mean, take a look at what these behaviours may indicate:</p> <p><strong>Chewing Furniture<br /></strong>This could be because of discomfort in their gums as their adult teeth are settling into the jawbone. Other possibilities include, attention seeking; distress at being left alone; or an unbalanced diet. It’s also quite common for chewing to indicate that your pet is bored and needs more activity in their life. Make sure you’re taking your furry friend for plenty of walks and that, where you can, you give them space to roam free outdoors.</p> <p><strong>Peeing<br /></strong>As I am sure you know, pets urinate to mark their territory, but there are also times where they can pee as a negative response to the presence of someone they don't like. Just be mindful of people that come in contact with your animal and do everything you can to ensure everyone is comfortable. If you know someone is coming over to your place that your pet doesn’t like, perhaps it is a good idea to put them outside with some food and toys.</p> <p><strong>Licking<br /></strong>Animals don’t have the use of verbal communication so there way of communicating is through actions. Licking is their way of either showing affection, or it can also sometimes be a request for food.</p> <p><strong>Smiling<br /></strong>At one point or another many pet owners have claimed to have witnessed their little friend smiling back at them. And so it turns out, they’re right. When an animal is content their muscles relax and this is most commonly observed in the face. Instead of your pet clenching its teeth together, it will relax its mouth and might even let it hang open. The eyes will appear soft and the ears straight.</p> <p><strong>Growling/hissing or making an angry sound<br /></strong>Like humans when animals make an angry sound or face, they are trying to tell you they’re uncomfortable. This could be that they are scared, trying so show dominance, want to be left alone or feel in danger. If they are showing their teeth or claws, they are presenting their weapons and sending a clear message to back off – and you should do just that. Give your pet some space. Do this slowly though. Keep your arms folded, don’t make eye contact and keep calm. Don’t walk away straight away. Wait until the situation has settled or your pet walks away first.</p> <p><strong>Standing tall<br /></strong>An animal who wants to tell the world they are in charge is going to stand tall and try to make themself as big as possible. Cats might prance around and a dog might also raise its tail over its body like a flag to make certain no one fails to see it.</p> <p><strong>Lying low<br /></strong>It makes sense that if an animal wanting to be noticed it stands tall, and that one who goes low is trying to fly under the radar. A scared or shy animal will lower its body and drop its tail. Furthermore, if it is scared to the point of feeling anxious, it may even roll onto its back. Essentially they’re saying “I’m just a little animal, don’t hurt me.”</p> <p><strong>Tail wagging<br /></strong>If you think that a quick wagging, swaying or moving tail means you have a happy pet on your hands, well, you’re not alone. But more often than not it actually translates to an animal telling you to back off. The higher the tail, the more dominance your pet is trying to display. The faster the tail is moving, the more excited your fury friend is. However, if the tail is moving in a flicking like manner, this could possibly be a sign of aggression. On the other side of it, if your pet’s tail is low and moving slowly it could be a sign they’re feeling insecure or distressed. This is when you should stop what you’re doing and spend some time with your little friend.</p> <p><strong>Staring at you<br /></strong>Big puppy dog eyes or doe cats eyes gazing at you is likely to have you gushing and thinking, “Oh, how adorable” and then you’ll probably give them a treat. As cute as they might be, they might not be looking at you lovingly and rather letting you know that they are the boss.  So you might want to think twice before rewarding them with a treat for “being the boss” – as you that would prove them right. On the other hand, pets will also stare at you when they want to know what’s happening – for instance where you’re going; where you might throw a ball or whether you’re going to offer them some of that food you’re cooking.</p> <p><em>Images: Getty</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Why do cats knead? An explanation of this weird habit

<p>First off, not all cats knead, and they don’t all knead in the same way. Most cats use only their front paws, but some use all four, or even just their back legs. Some kitties bring their claws out, while others don’t. A cat kneading at your lap might hurt, but your kitty probably doesn’t have any bad intentions; it just likes how you sound when you squeak. (You know, like a mouse.)</p> <p>In all seriousness, if your cat kneads, you’ve probably noticed how relaxed it seems when doing so – almost as if it’s in a trance. A kneading cat is a happy cat. But why do cats knead when the action doesn’t accomplish anything? After all, “making biscuits” doesn’t actually lead to fresh baked goods.</p> <p><strong>Does it last their lifetime?</strong></p> <p>Even when they’re too young for their eyes to open, cute kittens need to knead, says Katy Nelson, DVM, a veterinarian with Chewy. Nursing kitties push on their mother’s abdomen when suckling to help their mother’s glands release more milk. No one is totally sure why the habit lasts through adulthood, but there are a few theories as to why cats knead.</p> <p>For one thing, your cat might find it soothing. Felines grow up associating kneading with the comfort of their mama, and though they most likely don’t think about food when they’re kneading as adults, they still find it relaxing, as evidenced by the purrs you’ll probably hear as they’re doing it.</p> <p>“Like a kid sucking a thumb, it’s a calming thing,” says Dr Nelson. “A lot of cats have their eyes closed and look like they’re completely zenned out.” Maybe this is why cats sleep so much.</p> <p>If you’re wondering what it means when a cat makes biscuits on you, know this: It’s a good sign. Kneading indicates a cat feels safe and happy around you – or maybe even considers you a mother figure!</p> <p><strong>It's a territorial thing</strong></p> <p>Another theory is that cats knead to mark their territory. Here’s a cool cat fact: Cats have scent glands on both their faces and their paws. When felines rub their faces against the furniture or go to town on a scratching post, they’re not just letting off steam or exploring the couch. They’re also leaving behind their scent.</p> <p>The same happens when your cat kneads. Paws are the only places where cats sweat, which means rubbing them against something leaves behind their smell, says Dr Nelson.</p> <p>Other experts think kneading could be traced back to our sweet, domesticated house cats’ ancestors. Those wild cats didn’t have the soft blanket or fancy cat bed that your family pet got for its birthday, so they had to work a little to make the ground as comfy as possible, says Dr Nelson. Pushing at the grass, leaves, or dirt might have helped soften it up to “get their bed just right,” she says.</p> <p><strong>It's a sign of happiness, too</strong></p> <p>If you’re a cat owner who also owns furniture, you may spend less time wondering “Why do cats knead?” and more time asking “how can I get my cat to stop kneading?” Innocent as the habit is, it’s easy to get annoyed when your kneading cat digs its claws into your lap or furniture.</p> <p>Kneading makes cats happy, says Dr Nelson, so you should never stop your pet from doing its thing; just keep its claws short. “Keep the nails trimmed so it’s not painful and not messing up your blanket or your couch,” she says. Another option would be to get yourself a cat-proof couch that can withstand all the scratching.</p> <p><em>Image credit: Shutterstock</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/food-home-garden/pets/why-do-cats-knead-an-explanation-of-this-weird-habit" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Family & Pets

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"He was a mess": Harry's drunken behaviour outed by ex-soldier

<p dir="ltr">A former soldier has revealed Prince Harry accidentally triggered a panic alarm at St James’s Palace after a drunken night out.</p> <p dir="ltr">The Duke of Sussex reportedly stumbled into a sentry box when he returned from a night out, banging into the emergency response button.</p> <p dir="ltr">Three armed soldiers from the Guards Division dashed out to find Harry, who was 27 at the time, on the floor in a “mess”.</p> <p dir="ltr">Two armed police officers also attended the scene and helped carry the young prince back to his apartment.</p> <p dir="ltr">A former soldier, who served in the Guards Division and was part of the Quick Response Force that found Harry, revealed how the Prince was “blind drunk”.</p> <p dir="ltr">He recalled, “He was a mess, he was on the floor drooling on himself.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“When we tried to get him up he was uncooperative and abusive.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The ex-soldier, who did not want to be named, said, “It was around midnight. An alarm went off in the guard room, but we’d never heard it before.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“One of the senior lads said it was one of the sentry boxes.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“Within a couple of minutes three of us who were in the QRF were out the door. There were two Met Police guys there as well.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“But instead of an intruder or terrorist, we found Prince Harry.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“He was slurring his words, not making any sense.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“When we tried to pick him up he started yelling, ‘Get off me, I don’t need any help’.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“He was pushing us off and being very abusive.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The source said they took him inside and up to his apartment – which was in a “right state”.</p> <p dir="ltr">He said, “It was like student digs, it was sh*t.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“The double bed was unmade, there were clothes and socks over the floor, cans of lager and dirty coffee cups lying around and packs of cigs.”</p> <p dir="ltr">He said the team carried Harry to his bed where the royal “passed out” and was left to sleep it off.</p> <p dir="ltr">He said, “We all had a good laugh and a joke about it.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The ex-soldier, an injured veteran with more than a decade’s service, came forward about the incident after becoming enraged by claims Harry made in his memoir <em>Spare</em>.</p> <p dir="ltr">He said the Prince had a reputation among military circles for being a “social hand grenade” who would often make trouble with his drunken antics.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

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James Corden's grovelling apology after being accused of "abusive" restaurant behaviour

<p>James Corden has made a grovelling apology after being blasted by a New York restauranteur for "abusive" behaviour towards his staff. </p> <p>Restaurant owner Keith McNally condemned Corden in a lengthy Instagram post in which he <a href="https://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/food-wine/james-corden-banned-from-restaurant-over-abusive-behaviour" target="_blank" rel="noopener">shared allegations</a> of the talk show host behaving unacceptably in his renowned restaurants, resulting in McNally banning Corden from attending his restaurants.</p> <p>After the post garnered global attention, the restauranteur shared another post in which he claimed Corden called him to apologise for his behaviour. </p> <p>The post reads, "James Corden just called me and apologised profusely. Having f***ed up myself more than most people, I strongly believe in second chances."</p> <p>"So if James Corden lets me host his <em>Late Late Show</em> for 9 months, I’ll immediately rescind his ban from Balthazar. No, of course not. But....anyone magnanimous enough to apologize to a deadbeat layabout like me (and my staff) doesn’t deserve to be banned from anywhere. Especially Balthazar."</p> <p>"So Come Back to the 5 &amp; Dime, Jimmy Corden, Jimmy Corden. All is Forgiven. xx"</p> <p>Despite hearing of his apology, many fans were suspicious of Corden's motives. </p> <p>One person commented, "Of course he apologised. He’s being dragged everywhere online. The only form of an acceptable apology is changed behaviour."</p> <p>Another said, "Funny how he was apologetic after every news outlet picked up this story."</p> <p>Others suggested that it wasn't McNally's place to forgive the behaviour when it was it staff who allegedly copped the brunt of it. </p> <p>One person said, "Why apologise to you and not the staff?" while another added, "He should attend Balthazar again and order just a beer and leave a $2000 tip and a written apology to your wonderful staff."</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Food & Wine

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James Corden banned from restaurant over "abusive" behaviour

<p dir="ltr">James Corden has been called out by renowned restaurateur Keith McNally for his “abusive” behaviour in a well-known New York restaurant.</p> <p dir="ltr">The talk show host was reportedly “extremely nasty” to staff, with McNally calling Corden a “tiny cretin of a man” over his actions.</p> <p dir="ltr">In a lengthy Instagram post, McNally recounted instances of Corden behaving inappropriately at his former restaurant, Cafe Luxembourg, on several occasions which left one server “shaken”.</p> <p dir="ltr">He started by calling Corden a “hugely gifted comedian”, before ripping into the Tony winner for his unacceptable restaurant behaviours.</p> <p dir="ltr">He said, “James Corden is a Hugely gifted comedian, but a tiny Cretin of a man. And the most abusive customer to my Balthazar servers since the restaurant opened 25 years ago."</p> <p dir="ltr">"I don't often 86 a customer, to today I 86'd Corden. It did not make me laugh.”</p> <p dir="ltr">In two manager's reports, McNally shared that Corden had demanded free drinks, threatened to leave bad reviews, verbally abused staff and berated restaurant chefs.</p> <p dir="ltr">Corden, a big-time foodie, has not yet responded to the allegations.</p> <p dir="ltr">McNally’s post racked up over 18,000 likes in just six hours, as the comment section was flooded with people condemning Corden’s alleged behaviour.</p> <p dir="ltr">One person said, “One can tell the true character of a person based on how they treat their server.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Another commented, “I’m always astounded (and impressed) by the lengths you and your staff go to appease, what I deem to be, extremely high maintenance (and sometimes unreasonable) clientele.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“I’ve often wondered if there’s a limit to that tolerance and appeasement. I’m really glad to see that there is. No staff should be treated like this, no matter how fine an establishment.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Another called out McNally’s allegations, saying, “Come on Keith, you know this isn’t true. James Corden is NOT a ‘hugely gifted’ comedian.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Food & Wine

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"Beyond ridiculous": Kyrgios slammed for finals fireworks

<p dir="ltr">Nick Kyrgios has come under fire for his behaviour during the nerve wrecking Wimbledon final against Novak Djokovic, which Aussie tennis great Rennae Stubbs described as “embarrassing”.</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-68f4af5f-7fff-0d78-153e-88d23698bb00"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">After winning the first set, Kyrgios was on the backfoot during the second and third, with Djokovic winning 4-6 6-3 6-4 7-6 and claiming the title for the seventh time.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="und">😘🏆2️⃣1️⃣🙏🏼 <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Wimbledon?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Wimbledon</a> <a href="https://t.co/Zo8PAScQzJ">pic.twitter.com/Zo8PAScQzJ</a></p> <p>— Novak Djokovic (@DjokerNole) <a href="https://twitter.com/DjokerNole/status/1546210030130692102?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 10, 2022</a></p></blockquote> <p dir="ltr">As his odds of winning began to decline, Kyrgios directed his frustrations at the player box where his girlfriend, dad, sister and trainers were sitting.</p> <p dir="ltr">When he dropped the serve for the first time during the second set of the fourth game, Kyrgios began questioning why he was having to ask his player box to support him.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Say something,” he yelled in their direction later in the set. “You said nothing that whole point.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Why do you stop? 40-0, 40-15 and you just relax! Why?”</p> <p dir="ltr">His supporters weren’t the only subjects of his furore either, after Kyrgios was slapped with a code violation for complaining to the chair umpire about fans distracting him while on serve, including a drunk audience member he asked the umpire to kick out.</p> <p dir="ltr">“They’re distracting me when I’m serving in a Wimbledon final, she’s drunk out of her mind,” he said while closing out his service game.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Why is she still here? She’s drunk out of her mind in the first row, speaking to me in the middle of a game. What’s acceptable? Nothing is acceptable? So kick her out!</p> <p dir="ltr">“I know exactly which one it is, it’s the one that looks like she’s had 700 drinks bro.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0bc04b34-7fff-3939-0bc1-eeedd2426429"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">No-one was ejected from the court, but plenty had something to say about Kyrgios’ behaviour, including Stubbs.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">Honestly, this behavior of yelling at your box because they aren't doing what u want, is actually beyond ridiculous. THEY CANT READ YOUR MIND! Yes this is his way of dealing with pressure, I get it but this is straight up constant abuse to people that love you, its embarrassing</p> <p>— Rennae Stubbs OLY (@rennaestubbs) <a href="https://twitter.com/rennaestubbs/status/1546150155023486980?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 10, 2022</a></p></blockquote> <p dir="ltr">“Honestly, this behaviour of yelling at your box because they aren’t doing what u want, is actually beyond ridiculous,” she tweeted. </p> <p dir="ltr">“THEY CAN’T READ YOUR MIND! Yes this is his way of dealing with pressure, I get it but this is straight up constant abuse to people that love you, it’s embarrassing.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Sports journalist Andy Maher wrote: “You’d have to be a sucker for punishment to accept an invitation to sit in Kyrgios’ box.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-e478369b-7fff-59e6-8f07-3a7aafe125f1"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">“If Nick Kyrgios offered you a spot in his player’s box you’d have to say ‘no’. All that stress and abuse; worst seat in the house,” journalist Bruce Guthrie said.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">If Nick Kyrgios offered you a spot in his player’s box you’d have to say ‘no’. All that stress and abuse; worst seat in the house. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/WimbledonFinal?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#WimbledonFinal</a></p> <p>— Bruce Guthrie (@brucerguthrie) <a href="https://twitter.com/brucerguthrie/status/1546138584708575233?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 10, 2022</a></p></blockquote> <p dir="ltr">“Kyrgios’ players box has the toughest job in sports,” American basketball player Nate Wolters added.</p> <p dir="ltr">Kyrgios has acknowledged how supportive his team has been throughout the tournament and that they put up with a lot from him during matches.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I’ve got an incredible support crew,” he said after the fourth round. “My physio is one of my best friends. My best friend is my agent. I’ve got the best girlfriend in the world. I’ve just got so many people around me, they just support me.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I feel like I can reflect on all those dark times when I pushed them all away. Now to sit here, quarterfinals of Wimbledon, feeling good, feeling composed, feeling mature, having that around me, I’m extremely blessed. I feel like I’m just comfortable in my skin.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Following his defeat, he described Djokovic as “a bit of a god”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I want to congratulate Novak,” Kyrgios said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“To all the ball kids and umpires, I know we have tough relationships, thanks for putting up with it.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-3a268d43-7fff-7e7b-8674-085c2baa2460"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Getty Images</em></p>

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9 common behaviours that are subtly sabotaging your relationship

<h2>Making your mobile phone the top priority</h2> <p>We live in a culture where we’re constantly checking our mobile phones. But, this obsession comes at a cost, and the casualty of a technology obsession can be your personal relationship. “The most prevalent habit that sinks relationships is keeping your mobile phone on, and looking at it every time it makes a noise while you’re with your partner,” says psychiatrist, Dr Carole Lieberman. “Answering your phone is even worse than just looking at text messages or emails, and this tells your partner that they are not as important as whoever else is trying to reach you.” Dr Lieberman says a solution is to turn off your phone when you’re having dinner, being intimate, or doing anything else where your partner expects your full attention.</p> <h2>Being jealous</h2> <p>Jealousy within relationships typically comes down to fear of abandonment and not feeling good enough, says psychologist, Dr Michele Kerulis. “Jealousy can stem from insecurity, lack of trust, fear of betrayal, low confidence, and can linger from past relationships and life experiences,” Dr Kerulis says. To smooth over a situation, she suggests talking to your partner about your feelings and concerns. “Take the time to have a conversation with your partner about specific situations that made you feel jealous and explain why you believe you felt that way,” suggests Dr Kerulis. “If you see patterns of feeling jealous throughout your life, whether it is within romantic relationships, friendships, or with family members, it is a good idea to talk with a counsellor to process your feelings and to get a better understanding of why jealousy plays a role in your life.”</p> <h2>Nagging and complaining</h2> <p>A nagging mate can quickly create tension and division. “I suggest practising the art of holding your tongue, prioritising, and considering your approach,” says relationship expert, Dr Melanie Ross Mills. She advises to consider waiting until a good time to discuss what is bothering you, instead of nagging. “Be patient if he or she is not ready when you are to discuss the matter. Ask them to let you know when a good time might be. You can circle back then, instead of nagging and complaining,” Dr Mills says.</p> <h2>Acting ungrateful</h2> <p>It can be challenging to appreciate the small things in your partner. “But, it’s a life discipline to cultivate,” says Dr Mills. “Seeing the good [he or she does] will help. I suggest making a conscious effort to thank your partner for the small things: from putting the cap back on to earning an honest living with hard work, from taking out the trash to helping prepare dinner for the family,” she adds.</p> <h2>Lacking communication</h2> <p>Not having an open dialogue or an effective communication system in place can cause feelings of resentment, misunderstanding, hurt, and feeling unappreciated. “Instead of letting the small offences fester, talk about them when the timing is right,” says Dr Mills. “Don’t let too much time pass which can cause you to internalise your true feelings. Share with your partner about what is going on with you daily.”</p> <h2>Losing yourself in the relationship</h2> <p>It’s common for people to lose their own sense of self if they don’t make an exerted effort to continue to grow, learn and evolve, says Dr Mills. “Don’t forget to have your own life. Make time to do things that fulfill you instead of waiting for your partner to get interested in your same interests,” she advises. “Believe it or not, this actually makes you more attractive. You contribute to the relationship dynamic because you have interests, you’re interesting and you’re confident.”</p> <h2>Fighting with your partner over text message</h2> <p>It’s never fun or desirable to fight with your partner, especially when you are not in the same room, town, or city. “Couples who are in long-distance relationships or couples who just are not in the same vicinity of their partner all the time will most likely engage in text-fighting,” psychiatrist, Dr Gabriella I. Farkas. “Text-fighting is one of the bad habits that people do that can eventually lead to a downward spiral in a relationship.” She says fighting via text is a terrible way to communicate your feelings for many reasons, including you aren’t sure how your partner is reacting. “So, you will keep texting incessantly even if something that has been said hurts the partner’s feelings,” Dr Farkas says. “Instead of fighting via text where there is no way to emphasise or relay emotion correctly, it’s important to sit back and wait until there is the opportunity to have the conversation face-to face.”</p> <h2>Overstepping social boundaries</h2> <p>Speaking on behalf of your partner can create a sense of resentment. This behaviour can be intrusive, because making decisions for you partner can be demeaning, disrespectful and impede a person’s sense of self, says an article in Psychology Today. “Without noticing it, we may be intrusive or controlling toward our partner, acting in a manner that is disrespectful or demeaning to the other person’s sense of self. When this happens, it not only hurts our partner and his or her feelings for us but it undermines our strength and feelings for our partner,” the article says.</p> <h2>Unwilling to try new things</h2> <p>While no one should force themselves to do something they don’t want to do, shutting down the part of ourselves that seeks new experiences and responds to a spark in our partner can drain us of our aliveness and spontaneity, says the same article in Psychology Today.</p> <p><em><strong>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/true-stories-lifestyle/relationships/9-common-behaviours-that-are-subtly-sabotaging-your-relationship" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader’s Digest</a>. </strong></em></p> <p><em>Image: Shutterstock</em></p>

Relationships

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Decode your dog's behaviour with this handy guide

<p>What is normal dog behaviour?</p> <p>It’s our natural tendency to project human traits and emotions onto dogs, yet we come to expect daily dog zoomies as normal dog behaviour. And while we can pick up on things like dog anxiety from dog body language, and understand why dogs howl, some dog behaviours – like rolling in stinky things or barking at nothing – are truly baffling.</p> <p>What’s classified as normal dog behaviour might surprise you. Here’s what canine experts have to say.</p> <p><strong>1. Barking at delivery drivers</strong></p> <p>Every day when letters and packages are delivered to your door your dog barks. Does this dog behaviour mean your four-legged friend hates delivery workers? “Barking at people outside is a protective behaviour,” says vet Gary Richter. “Dogs see their house as their territory, and anyone approaching or [coming] near their territory is a potential threat, so they bark to ward off the intruder.”</p> <p>Think about it from your dog’s perspective: a mail carrier delivers mail, the dog barks to ward off the intruder, and the mail carrier goes away. It creates a pattern that is reinforced over and over. “From the dog’s perspective, they are saving the house from invasion every day by driving away the invader. We never appreciate their efforts,” Dr Richter says.</p> <p><strong>2. Nipping and biting</strong></p> <p>Little love nips from your puppy are sweet and adorable, but if you don’t nip this dog behaviour in the bud, it’s a puppy-training mistake you’ll regret when your pet’s adult teeth come in. “Dogs may bite playfully at their owners’ hands or feet because they know it results in them getting attention, even if it is negative attention,” says vet Jo Gale. Playful biting can quickly become more serious as dogs become excited or overstimulated.</p> <p>Biting can also be a result of a dog’s anxiety and stress, or a warning sign your dog is in pain, especially if it nips at you when you touch or move it. As for biting as a form of aggression, you can usually identify it by paying attention to a dog’s facial expression and body language. “Always seek veterinary and behavioural advice for biting behaviour due to the risks of human injury,” advises Dr Gale.</p> <p><strong>3. Begging for food</strong></p> <p>“Dogs are, by nature, opportunistic feeders. Most will happily accept any type of food, at any time of day,” says Dr Gale, who notes that we can’t put all the blame on dogs. “Humans actually reinforce the begging behaviour when they react and share their food with the dog. The dog quickly learns that this is a successful tactic to get extra snacks.”</p> <p>Staring at you and waiting patiently to grab a morsel from the table or a treat after a job well done is an expected and common behaviour. Growing puppies, pregnant and nursing dogs, breeds with high energy requirements, and those that exercise a lot may have an increased appetite, says Dr Gale. “If your pet’s appetite changes or their weight looks to be increasing, be sure to get them checked by your veterinarian to investigate the cause.”</p> <p><strong>4. Going to the toilet inside the house</strong></p> <p>One of the things veterinarians want you to know about potty training is that you can expect accidents in the house. But what happens when your house-trained dog suddenly starts peeing and pooping inside? It’s not necessarily due to bad behaviour. “My biggest concern when I hear this complaint is that your dog may have an underlying medical problem, such as urinary incontinence, inflammatory bowel disease, urinary tract infections, or even kidney failure,” says vet Dana Varble. It is also important to spay and neuter pets at the age recommended by your veterinarian to reduce the chance of urine marking, which is especially common in male dogs.</p> <p><strong>5. Rolling in stinky things</strong></p> <p>It’s no wonder dogs can smell so many things that humans can’t. They have upwards of 300 million olfactory receptors in their noses – humans have a paltry six million. With all those receptors, you would think dogs’ high scent orientation would steer them away from vile and pungent smells, like dead animals, yet it’s like eau de cologne to them. “Their opinions about what constitutes an attractive scent are often different from ours,” says vet Jennifer L. Summerfield. “It’s thought that the behaviour of rolling in dead or especially stinky things may have originated as a way of disguising the dog’s scent, which could be useful for hunting.”</p> <p><strong>6. Eating gross things</strong></p> <p>Why do dogs eat poo and other gross things, like rotting food? Just as a dog’s sense of smell is highly advanced, its sense of taste is vastly different from ours. We both like a juicy burger, but dogs find a rotting chicken or even vomit quite tasty. “Dogs originally evolved as scavengers, eating scraps on the periphery of human settlements, and feral dog populations today still manage to survive quite well on less-than-ideal food sources, like rubbish, roadkill, and other unsavoury options,” explains Dr Summerfield.</p> <p>So why don’t they get sick when they eat nasty roadkill or expired food? “A dog’s GI tract can process bacteria and other contaminants that would make a human sick and is often able to extract some nutritional value from ‘gross’ things like poop or vomit.”</p> <p><strong>7. Searching for the perfect place to poo</strong></p> <p>Dr Summerfield says there are three possible reasons for this dog behaviour. One theory is that your dog is stamping down the grass for a clean place to defecate. The second is that it’s scanning the area for predators before it goes. But a study found what may be the most fascinating reason: “A study done in Europe found that dogs tend to align themselves in a north-south position when they poo,” says Dr Summerfield. Even more interesting, dogs rarely relieved themselves along the east-west alignment.</p> <p><strong>8. Sniffing crotches</strong></p> <p>Of all the things your dog actually wants from you, you wouldn’t think sniffing human crotches would be one of them. Although this dog behaviour presents an awkward situation, it’s totally normal and not something you should be embarrassed about. Dr Summerfield says dogs collect a lot of vital information via their noses, and the most concentrated sources of pheromones are in the crotch or bottom areas, whether you have two legs or four. “Although we might find this behaviour socially inappropriate, sniffing the anus or genital areas of another dog is a very polite and a normal way to say hello in the canine world, much like shaking hands for humans,” she says.</p> <p><strong>9. Running in their sleep</strong></p> <p>As you may have guessed, this usually means they’re dreaming, and fortunately, it’s not usually of any medical significance, says Dr Richter. Still, it makes you wonder what dogs dream about. Probably nothing too weird. Studies have revealed that certain dog breeds acted out their hallmark traits while dreaming, like an English springer spaniel flushing out prey or a pointer “pointing” in its sleep. If all that “running” during sleep seems excessive, Dr Richter says it could indicate underlying stress or a medical condition.</p> <p><strong>10. Being aggressive towards other dogs</strong></p> <p>“Many dogs are anxious or uncomfortable about interacting with other dogs,” says Dr Summerfield. “This can be due to genetics, negative past experiences, or a lack of adequate early socialisation as a puppy.” A dog may lunge forward and bark at another dog to keep it from getting too close – a dog park etiquette no-no you should watch for.</p> <p>Other dogs may hide or cower behind you, while some just lay down in an overly submissive posture because they’re fearful or uncomfortable with the situation. “It’s not uncommon for a dog to be wary of other dogs but very friendly towards humans – or vice versa,” she says.</p> <p><strong>11. Licking faces</strong></p> <p>Let’s start with the most licked area of the body: the face. “Licking the face, especially around the mouth, is a normal, friendly greeting behaviour that dogs often display towards other dogs when saying hello. This is usually seen as a submissive gesture, a way of saying, ‘Hi there! I’m no threat to you!’” says Dr Summerfield. So it’s perfectly natural (and adorable) for a dog to lick a human face too.</p> <p>What about other body parts? As far as feet, fingers and in between toes: the stronger the smell, the higher the attraction. “This may be due to the higher concentration of scent in these areas, which is also why many dogs are attracted to dirty socks and dirty laundry,” she says.</p> <p><strong>12. Scooting their bums</strong></p> <p>The bottom scooting boogie is a comical dog behaviour to watch, but it may also be one of those things dogs do to let you know they’re sick. What’s going on? The answer is kind of gross: They have plugged or infected anal glands.</p> <p>“Normally, these sacs express their contents, a very pungent-smelling brown fluid, when the dog defecates. But occasionally the sacs might become plugged or infected and have a hard time emptying on their own,” says Dr Summerfield. To relieve the discomfort, they scoot their butt on the floor. “If this happens, your veterinarian can normally resolve the problem by expressing the glands manually.</p> <p><strong>13. Pawing at you</strong></p> <p>Why does your dog put its paw on you? All dogs are quite tactile, so this is their version of holding hands, according to Dr Varble. “Have you ever seen pictures of foxes or wolves playing or sleeping side by side in the wild? Although most dogs don’t like the restraint of a hug, they like to make contact with their closest friends by placing a paw on their friends, and human companions are no different,” she says.</p> <p>Your pup may also put its paw on you to let you know it’s ready to play or to ask you to keep petting it after you stop. It’s one of the telltale signs you’re not showing your dog enough attention. “It is a great way to get our attention, and it always seems to work,” says Dr Varble.</p> <p><strong>14. Hiding things</strong></p> <p>Why do some dogs bury their bones (and other treasures) or stash them behind chairs or under a stack of pillows on the sofa? Dr Richter says this is a purely instinctual dog behaviour. “They are keeping track of their stuff,” he says.</p> <p>To prevent their treasures from being stolen by another animal, they hide them for safekeeping. Dachshunds, a breed known for stashing, may have a cache of toys and treats nestled in the corner of a dog bed. Some breeds known for hunting, like hounds and terriers, are prone to digging and hiding, as the prey they hunt lives underground.</p> <p><strong>15. Running to the door</strong></p> <p>Dogs can be dead to the world when they’re sleeping, but they’ll instantly come to life and sprint to the door when it opens. This dog behaviour is similar to ours when we’re surprised by something – we jolt into action to see what’s up. But for a dog, there’s a little more to it. “This is an instinctive self-protection behaviour. Something has moved suddenly and unexpectedly, and they don’t know what may be coming through the door,” says Dr Richter. Some dogs, including guard dog breeds, take it further and bolt through the door because they want to investigate potential threats and defend their space.</p> <p><strong>16. Picking up stuff on a walk</strong></p> <p>There’s a good chance you’ve seen your pooch collecting found objects during its walk. These could be anything, really, from a stick to a used mask someone dropped. “Dogs use their mouths in much the same way that human children use their hands. Many dogs are naturally curious about the world, and if they find an object interesting, they may want to pick it up, hold it, or carry it for a while,” says Dr Summerfield.</p> <p>Wonder what your dog is thinking about while collecting these treasures? It’s probably less complex than you imagine. They’re really curious, like toddlers. And they’re attracted to certain objects the way toddlers are to their blankets. That’s especially true of sporting and retrieving dog breeds.</p> <p><strong>17. Wagging their tails to the left</strong></p> <p>A dog’s tail can express a wide variety of emotions, and with close observation, you can decipher the secrets of what your dog’s tail is trying to tell you. For example, a low-wagging tail with a wide, sweeping arc is a friendly wag, while a high, stiff tail may indicate aggression or arousal. But why do dogs wag their tail to the left?</p> <p>“Recent studies on dog body language do suggest that there may be a difference as to how the left- and right-sided tail wags are interpreted by other dogs and in how the dogs feel when wagging their tails to the left versus the right,” says Dr Summerfield. In the study, dogs remained relaxed when they saw images of another dog wagging its tail to the right, but when dogs saw the image of the tail wagging to the left, it stirred up anxiety. More research is needed, but it indeed points to the tail as a key communicator.</p> <p>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/food-home-garden/pets/decode-your-dogs-behaviour-17-dog-behaviours-explained?pages=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Music is the soundtrack to your life – what’s on your playlist?

<p>We all know music can move us emotionally. But how does it impact on our behaviour? That relationship’s not immediately clear. </p> <p>A YouTube clip was doing the rounds on social media a while ago – the music from one of the most chilling scenes in the 1975 film <em>Jaws</em> had been quite cleverly changed. Instead of the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9QTSyLwd4w">original hair-raising theme</a> that we all know by composer John Williams, the scene was accompanied by the delicate ballet music of Tchaikovsky. </p> <p>The effect was startling. It could have been a completely different film – one about a fun-loving dolphin. It’s a good example of what an incredibly powerful mood-setter music is. So many of our favourite films just wouldn’t have the same impact without the music.</p> <p>It’s the same outside of the cinema – a fact that has been instinctively understood by humans since written records began. In ancient China, more than 4,000 years ago, <a href="http://www.unboundmedicine.com/medline/citation/8402699/The_sick_child_and_music_">flute music was prescribed</a> to calm an over-excited foetus.</p> <p>The Egyptians also seemed to use music for therapeutic purposes at least as early as 1500 BC. Then there is the much-loved biblical tale of King Saul being soothed by the playing of David’s harp in the Old Testament.</p> <p>Today, we often use music to “get into” a mood – using soft music and lyrics to set the scene for romance which, as a seduction tactic, can be quite effective. <a href="http://pom.sagepub.com/content/38/3/303.refs">Researchers in France found</a> that women who were exposed to love songs were more likely to respond to a request for a date than those who were in a control group and did not hear this music.</p> <p>At other times, we may use a fast, up-tempo piece of music at the gym to get us working harder. Music has also been used across the centuries to <a href="http://vimeo.com/72609411">pump up soldiers in the face of battle</a>, the same energising facets of the music being drawn upon, in this context to promote aggression (see famous Wagner scene from <em>Apocalypse Now</em> (1979) below).</p> <p>So does that mean that music can be both good and bad for you? Potentially, yes. </p> <p>But music exists within a socio-cultural context and it is how the music interacts with other factors that produces a particular result. </p> <p>So, at the gym it is how and why the music is framed that helps to promote its invigorating qualities for the desired work-out ends. Where it could lead to aggression, there are contextual factors that influence the way in which it’s processed and in turn how it affects us.</p> <p>Recent anti-noise bans that <a href="https://theconversation.com/live-music-in-australia-offensive-noise-or-good-vibrations-13530">prevented live music being played</a> in many Australian pubs connected loud music with aggressive behaviour.</p> <p>The truth is that rock music might indeed encourage patrons to move faster, be more pumped up, and perhaps drink more, be less inhibited, louder, and so manifest a whole range of behaviours than might be regarded as anti-social, leading to an aggression response. But, these are not generated from the music itself, rather in the context and the alignment of many interacting factors.</p> <p>Perhaps the most useful way to reflect on the positives of music is that it can be part of a “healthy process of self-regulation” as American music therapist <a href="http://mtp.oxfordjournals.org/content/21/2/69.abstract">Bridget Doak says</a> and, when negative, it may be part of an “unhealthy, distress-addiction cycle”. </p> <p><a href="https://kb.osu.edu/dspace/bitstream/handle/1811/52950/EMR000125a-Garrido.pdf">Researchers have found</a> that people listen to sad music for a variety of reasons. Some may find that having a good cry while listening to a piece of music is a good way to let go of bad feelings. For others it may give them a chance to think through things that are making them feel sad in their own lives and reach a point of resolution. </p> <p>But some people do not have such effective ways of making themselves feel better. People with mood disorders, for example, often engage in behaviours that can make them feel worse, and music can be a part of that behaviour.</p> <p>Music can have such a powerful impact on mood. Whether or not our lives resemble a light-hearted ballet or a scene of terror in shark-infested waters may have much to do with the music that surrounds us on a daily basis. </p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article first appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/music-is-the-soundtrack-to-your-life-whats-on-your-playlist-26893" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>. </em></p>

Music