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A dating coach’s guide to making a lasting impression with that special someone

<p><em><strong>Monica Parikh is a lawyer, writer, and dating coach. She started the <a href="http://www.schooloflovenyc.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">School of Love in New York City</span></a> to help men and women develop happier and healthier relationships.</strong></em></p> <p>When my ex-husband disappeared, I unexpectedly got divorced at 36 years old. I went back on the dating market--after a 10-year hiatus. Flirting was the best tool in my arsenal (besides an optimistic attitude). Before long, I was meeting men in all sorts of places—the subway, elevators, the gym, and airports.</p> <p>In my coaching practice, I often see women and men who have forgotten how to flirt. Oh, the pity! Flirting adds spicy intrigue to the mundane. If you’re single, it’s a wonderful way to signal availability and interest. If you’re in a relationship, it helps maintain spark and fuels passion. A little simple flirting says to the world, “I’m alive!”</p> <p>Flirtation is simply the art of conversation amped up a notch. I’ve always been a good flirt, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become a better—mostly because I’ve grown in confidence and self-esteem. A few key tips:</p> <p><strong>1. Radiate strength</strong></p> <p>Naked selfies aren’t sexy. Neither is telling your life story on a first date. Real sexiness stems from the ability to tickle the imagination and create intrigue. Less exhibitionism, fewer words, and more confidence fuel desire.</p> <p><strong>2. Smile</strong></p> <p>Smile big and often — it lights up your face and says that you’re approachable and warm. It is the green light that gives others confidence to approach you and start conversation.</p> <p><strong>3. Be playfully combative</strong></p> <p>When we’re attracted to someone, we often veer toward being overly agreeable and conciliatory. Talk about throwing cold water on a spark! Being challenging, feisty, and a bit unpredictable (while still being nice) is very sexy. My partner and I often playfully spar with words. Intelligent banter makes for a very flirtatious (and fun) relationship.</p> <p><strong>4. Create an air of mystery</strong></p> <p>When I was single, a stranger on an elevator once offered to walk me to the subway with his umbrella during a rainstorm. When we arrived, he asked for my number. I demurred, saying that I don’t talk to strangers. (Wink.) He offered his card. I took it but made no promises. He was handsome and charismatic, so I knew he was used to having women chase him.</p> <p>I waited several days (to build intrigue) and sent him a one-sentence email. He responded immediately, admitting that he checked his email constantly for word from me. Not knowing where the other person stands fuels desire. So, hold your cards close to your chest.</p> <p><strong>5. Laugh</strong></p> <p>We’re all a little too serious. Take a ribbing. Give a ribbing. Laugh until your sides ache. Dating and romance are supposed to be fun, after all.</p> <p><strong>6. Tap into your feminine (or masculine) energy</strong></p> <p>I have a serious job as a lawyer during the day, so I make deliberate efforts to tap into my softer side after work. I often go home, take a bath and change clothes before a date. I love jewel-colored dresses, red lipstick, and French perfume. This little ritual “washes” the 9-to-5 off me and helps me tap into a different energy/vibration. Each person’s formula is unique, but spend time figuring out the clothing, style, and rituals that bring about the most authentic and empowered you.</p> <p><strong>7. Ask questions</strong></p> <p>Conversation with a stranger can be daunting. My advice? Show interest in your beloved’s work, hobbies, family, and interests. Sit back and relax while they open up. You will glean key insights. And I guarantee they will remember you as an amazing conversationalist while they have performed the bulk of the work.</p> <p><strong>8. Say a person's name — often</strong></p> <p>My game changed for the better after reading Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. While technically not a dating book, it’s a wonderful guide on how to be a more engaging person. Carnegie says that someone's name is "to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” Pay attention when someone introduces themselves. Repeat their name back immediately. Sprinkle it throughout conversation. Be amazed at the result.</p> <p><strong>9. Show warmth</strong></p> <p>Gently touching someone’s hand or back is a wonderful way to show interest. Be respectful of another person’s space. It’s not about draping yourself all over them (or being clingy), which is a big turn-off. It’s about small signals of interest, respectfully scattered here and there.</p> <p><strong>10. Be original</strong></p> <p>Successful flirting is about being 100 percent you. Personally, I’m an extroverted nerd who loves the public library, backpacking through Asia, Wes Anderson films, and 1970's soul music. Don’t be afraid to stand out from the crowd. Accept that what makes you unique also makes you memorable. That is the most powerful vibrational frequency you can live in — and one that will surely attract an ideal partner.</p> <p><em>Images: Getty</em></p>

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“Surely a baby can’t do that”: Fitness guru stuns fans

<p>British fitness coach has left fans shocked after posting a photo of his seven-month-old hanging from a pull-up bar.</p> <p>The fitness guru, and founder of the popular fitness app The Body Coach, posted a series of sweet snaps to his Instagram of a recent family holiday to California, USA.</p> <p>The photo has gained a lot of traction online among his 4.6 million followers.</p> <p>The image shows baby Leny dressed in a white onesie dangling from a tall monkey bar at the beach while Wicks looks on proudly.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Cq3C-ywLb6k/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Cq3C-ywLb6k/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Joe Wicks (@thebodycoach)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p> Many followers were concerned about Leni, calling out the dad-of-three for such a “risky” pose.</p> <p>"Jesus, is the first pic photoshopped?" wrote one follower.</p> <p>"How is the first pic even possible?!" asked another. "Surely a baby can't do that?”</p> <p>Another added, ”Is that safe for her shoulders and joints to hang onto bars supporting her own weight like that?</p> <p>"Please don't do that to your baby. She would be frightened," wrote a fourth, sparking a debate in the comment section.</p> <p>"She doesn't look fine to me and a lot of people agree. This is cruel and would instinctually cause fear in the baby. If you think that's OK you are a cruel person.”</p> <p>Some were impressed by the “super baby”, taken back by her strength for her age and defended Wicks against his critics.</p> <p>"That first picture of Leni is amazing! You need to recreate that every year!" wrote one follower. "I love how you let them take risks.”</p> <p>"Your kids have iron man genes," another added. "Wow Leni is strong holding on to the monkey bars, that's brilliant.”</p> <p>Those that came to the dad’s defence reminded critics that the baby would not have been there for long.</p> <p>"My babies/toddlers could all do this when they were young. It was only for a few seconds. We were there ready to catch them," one said.</p> <p>"It is called the palmar grasp reflex and it is normal for babies," wrote another.</p> <p>A child gymnastics company, Little Gym UK also came to the dad’s defence, saying, "For those questioning if it's photoshopped, our classes start at four months and babies can absolutely grasp and hang this little.”</p> <p>While it’s no myth newborns do have a grasp reflex and the grip is often “strong enough to hold the baby’s entire weight”, experts do not advise picking up or swinging a toddler by their arms as it can lead to a common injury called Nursemaid’s elbow.</p> <p>Wicks has two other children with his wife Rosie, Indie, four, and Marley, three.</p> <p><em>Image credit: Instagram</em></p>

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“You will be dearly missed!”: Pioneering tennis coach Nick Bollettieri dies

<p dir="ltr">Renowned tennis coach Nick Bollettieri has died aged 91, with tributes flowing in from fans and former students.</p> <p dir="ltr">Bolletieri was born to Italian immigrant parents who served in the military and dropped out of law school to become a tennis coach, going on to found the Nick Bollettieri Tennis Academy in Florida in 1978, which produced some of the world’s best players.</p> <p dir="ltr">Bollettieri’s academy was later bought by the International Management Group (IMG) in 1987.</p> <p dir="ltr">Having coached 10 World No.1 players, Bollettieri was inducted into the International Tennis Hall of Fame in 2014.</p> <p dir="ltr">His former students include the likes of Tommy Haas - Germany’s former World No. 2 - as well as Andre Agassi, Serena and Venus Williams, Monica Seles and Maria Sharapova.</p> <p dir="ltr">Following the news of his former mentor’s death, Haas was among the first to pay tribute to Bolliettieri, describing him “a dreamer” and “pioneer”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Thank you for your time, knowledge, commitment, expertise, the willingness to share your skill, your personal interest in mentoring me and giving me the best opportunity to follow my dreams,” Haas wrote on Instagram.</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-b19ade94-7fff-28e1-321f-2a8f6ff7da4e"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">“You were a dreamer and a doer, and a pioneer in our sport, truly one of a kind.”</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">A pioneer, a visionary, a mentor, a coach, and a friend 💙</p> <p>One of the biggest influences in the game of tennis, Nick Bollettieri, has passed away at the age of 91. Our condolences go out to his family, friends and everyone he impacted. <a href="https://t.co/jQMWhar9FR">pic.twitter.com/jQMWhar9FR</a></p> <p>— ATP Tour (@atptour) <a href="https://twitter.com/atptour/status/1599826153279082496?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 5, 2022</a></p></blockquote> <p dir="ltr">2013 Wimbledon runner-up Sabine Lisicki said Bollettieri had “shaped the game of tennis” and helped children achieve their dreams.</p> <p dir="ltr">“You have given so many children a place to work for their dream. Supporting them with your knowledge and the belief that anything is possible. I was fortunate to be one of them,”she tweeted. </p> <p dir="ltr">“You will be dearly missed!”</p> <p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-cc8902de-7fff-5a02-cc53-815fe5f3160d"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">Agassi said that Bollettieri had “graduated from us” with a heartfelt throwback photo of them both.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">Our dear friend, Nick Bollettieri, graduated from us last night. He gave so many a chance to live their dream. He showed us all how life can be lived to the fullest…</p> <p>Thank you, Nick 🙏🏼 <a href="https://t.co/PhO36oPWpI">pic.twitter.com/PhO36oPWpI</a></p> <p>— Andre Agassi (@AndreAgassi) <a href="https://twitter.com/AndreAgassi/status/1599815626109116416?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 5, 2022</a></p></blockquote> <p dir="ltr">“Our dear friend, Nick Bollettieri, graduated from us last night. He gave so many a chance to live their dream. He showed us all how life can be lived to the fullest… Thank you Nick,” he wrote on Twitter.</p> <p dir="ltr">Former World No. 1 Billie Jean King described the late coach as one of tennis’ “most passionate coaches &amp; advocates”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Nick was always positive &amp; was able to get the best out of everyone fortunate enough to work w/ him,” she <a href="https://twitter.com/BillieJeanKing/status/1599772629925249024">wrote</a>.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Our thoughts and prayers go out to his family &amp; team at the Academy.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-74f5b032-7fff-ab3f-d17b-280b723853e0"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">Patrick Mouratoglou, another coach who worked with Serena Williams, wrote that Bollettieri’s passing represented the loss of an important figure in the tennis family.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">I am very saddened by the loss of <a href="https://twitter.com/NickBollettieri?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@NickBollettieri</a><br />The tennis family has lost someone very important today, someone who has made our industry grow and has opened opportunities for coaches and players.<br />We will remember the very special human being you were and will miss you.</p> <p>— Patrick Mouratoglou (@pmouratoglou) <a href="https://twitter.com/pmouratoglou/status/1599766583513006080?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 5, 2022</a></p></blockquote> <p dir="ltr">“Someone who has made our industry grow and has opened opportunities for coaches and players,” he said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“We will remember the very special human being you were and will miss you.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Sports journalist Ben Rothenberg described Bollettieri as “an absolute giant in the sport” and said it was “hard to overstate how much he changed the course of pro tennis in the last four decades”.</p> <p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-f4123164-7fff-00bd-9120-06ecfdc79a61"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">Another social media user shared a clip of the coach answering questions from his son and other young tennis students, including the question of what made him want to coach.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">RIP Nick Bollettieri!</p> <p>Your answer to my son‘s question should be taken as a great lesson for each of us.</p> <p>We will always remember you! <a href="https://t.co/uB45UKcRCo">pic.twitter.com/uB45UKcRCo</a></p> <p>— Ovidiu Ursachi 🇪🇺 (@ursachi) <a href="https://twitter.com/ursachi/status/1599821824132530177?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 5, 2022</a></p></blockquote> <p dir="ltr">“Well, I wasn’t a good tennis player, but God gave me the ability to make people feel good about themselves. That’s what it’s all about,” he said in the clip.</p> <p dir="ltr">“And remember something, Nick doesn’t want to be remembered for the ten No. 1’s, Nick wants to be remembered that I made an impact on your life.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Even though I trained ten No. 1’s in the world, I also helped a lot of inner-city children that have nothing,” he said when asked how many good players he had trained.</p> <p dir="ltr">“That’s important to me. Nick wants to be remembered for helping me have a chance in life. That’s important.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-cfc523b2-7fff-1ce5-d628-4c3cc3e150c1"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Getty Images</em></p>

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Rugby League icon dead at 49

<p dir="ltr">The NRL world is in mourning following the death of legendary coach and former player Paul Green at the age of 49. </p> <p dir="ltr">The premiership-winning coach had reportedly not complained about any illness and was found dead at his home in Brisbane on Thursday. </p> <p dir="ltr">A post-mortem will be carried out to determine his cause of death.  </p> <p dir="ltr">Former Melbourne Storm and Maroons hooker Cameron Smith, who was coached by Green in the earlier days said he was “heartbroken” upon hearing the news.</p> <p dir="ltr">“A very sad part of the day,” he said. </p> <p dir="ltr">“It’s certainly rocked myself…and everyone in the rugby league world.</p> <p dir="ltr">“It’s a sad day for everyone involved in the rugby league family and community. We send our best wishes and condolences out to the entire Green family.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I was fortunate enough, he was my kicking and catching coach when I was coming through at the Broncos and he was also my coach when I was at Wynnum.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I had a small amount to do with him but in the time I did, it was actually really interesting the year I was at Wynnum I ended up signing with another club to leave but we had a really tough start to the season. Greeny managed to turn the Wynnum Seagulls around and we won the premiership that year.</p> <p dir="ltr">“He’s a fighter. It’s a very sad day to see Greeny go like that.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Green had an incredible NRL career, playing 162 first grade matches between 1994-2004 and winning the prestigious Rothmans Medal in 1995 as the game's best and fairest.</p> <p dir="ltr">He played for several different clubs including Cronulla-Sutherland Sharks, North Queensland Cowboys, Sydney Roosters, Parramatta Eels and the Brisbane Broncos.</p> <p dir="ltr">Green eventually swapped his playing boots to coaching ones as he took on the North Queensland Cowboys from 2014-2020.</p> <p dir="ltr">He helped the Cowboys finally win their first ever premiership in 2015. </p> <p dir="ltr">Green last coached Queensland’s State of Origin side in 2021 and was due for a comeback into coaching in 2023 with the new NRL team, Dolphins. </p> <p dir="ltr">Green is survived by wife Amanda and children Emerson and Jed.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Getty</em></p>

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Tennis legend Pam Shriver opens up on "traumatic" affair

<p dir="ltr">Tennis star Pam Shriver has shared an insight into the “inappropriate” and “traumatic” affair she had with her coach as a teen, hoping her story will prompt tennis organisations to address the “alarmingly common” issue.</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-a378a0f4-7fff-9d01-33aa-4243bedd7673">Shriver wrote about her experience in a column for the <em><a href="https://www.telegraph.co.uk/tennis/2022/04/20/pam-shriver-exclusive-inappropriate-relationship-50-year-old/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">UK Telegraph</a></em>, revealing how the relationship she had with her Australian coach Don Candy was “inappropriate and damaging”.</span></p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">This is not an easy story for me to tell, but it is time.</p> <p>You can listen to my story on the <a href="https://twitter.com/TennisPodcast?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@TennisPodcast</a> - <a href="https://t.co/81m3Ryfwr4">https://t.co/81m3Ryfwr4</a></p> <p>You can read my story <a href="https://twitter.com/TelegraphSport?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@TelegraphSport</a> - <a href="https://t.co/ckvTF4SSQQ">https://t.co/ckvTF4SSQQ</a> <a href="https://t.co/ZRHJMxPTjg">pic.twitter.com/ZRHJMxPTjg</a></p> <p>— Pam Shriver (@PHShriver) <a href="https://twitter.com/PHShriver/status/1516753194893778945?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 20, 2022</a></p></blockquote> <p dir="ltr">Candy, who passed away in 2020, began working with Shriver when she was just nine years old and coached her when she went through to the final of the US Open at 16.</p> <p dir="ltr">She said she told the 50-year-old she was falling in love with him when she was 17, with the pair going on to have an affair.</p> <p dir="ltr">“My main motivation is to let people know this still goes on - a lot,” she wrote.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I believe abusive coaching relationships are alarmingly common in sport as a whole. My particular experience, though, is in tennis, where I have witnessed dozens of instances in my four-and-a-bit decades as a player and commentator.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Every time I hear about a player who is dating their coach, or I see a male physio working on a female body in the gym, it sets my alarm bells ringing.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Shriver shared that she had “conflicted feelings” about Candy, and that though she wasn’t sexually abused, “there was emotional abuse”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I felt so many horrendous emotions and I felt so alone. The worst would be my anger and jealousy when his wife came to tournaments,” the 22-time grand slam champion wrote.</p> <p dir="ltr">“It was horrible. I can’t even tell you how many nights I just sobbed in my room - and then had to go out and play a match the next day.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Yes, he and I became involved in a long and inappropriate affair. Yes, he was cheating on his wife. But there was a lot about him that was honest and authentic. And I loved him. Even so, he was the grown-up there.</p> <p dir="ltr">“He should have been the trustworthy adult. In a different world, he would have found a way to keep things professional. Only after therapy did I start to feel a little less responsible. Now, at last, I’ve come to realise that what happened is on him.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Shriver wrote the her ability to form normal relationships had been “stunted” by the affair, which had been a “traumatic experience” for her.</p> <p dir="ltr">“The after-effects lasted far beyond the time we spent together. Our affair shaped my whole experience of romantic life,” she wrote.</p> <p dir="ltr">Though she suggested some possible solutions to the issue, Shriver said she doesn’t have all the answers.</p> <p dir="ltr">“By the time they graduate to the main tennis tour, many patterns have already been set,” she wrote.</p> <p dir="ltr">“And then there’s the coaches. The best way to protect their charges is to put them through an education process before they arrive on tour.</p> <p dir="ltr">“The same goes for other credential-holders: physios, fitness trainers and so on. The point has to be made very clearly: these kinds of relationships are not appropriate, and there will be consequences for those who cross the line.”</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-880a4695-7fff-b9d3-c532-a2b612c24e75"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Getty Images</em></p>

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Woman turns herself in after fatal attack on 87-year-old singing coach

<p>A 26-year-old woman has turned herself in to police after admitting to attacking an 87-year-old woman, which led to her death. </p> <p>Lauren Pazienza shoved Barbara Maier Gustern before striking her on the back of the head in an unprompted attack on March 10th in New York City. </p> <p>The NYPD released a picture of the woman wanted for the attack, just days before Lauren turned herself in to authorities. </p> <p>Police identified Pazienza through video and her Metrocard, police sources said.</p> <p>Pazienza covered her face with her hair as she was led by detectives to a car for transport to criminal court, as she refused to answer reporters who asked her about the allegation she pushed Gustern.</p> <p>Following the brutal attack, Barbara was in critical condition until she died from her injuries on March 14th. </p> <p>“Today, at 11:15am, we have lost one of the brightest little flames to ever grace this world,” her grandson wrote on Gustern’s Facebook page. </p> <p>“I ask that you all give me a little time and space, but I want to make time for anyone and everyone who wants to know more about her final moments,” the post said.</p> <p>“Bobbob, I love you, you are and always will be my heart,” it said. “I love you all so much, I could not have made it through these past 5 days without all of your support.”</p> <p>Barbara Maier Gustern, who was a renowned vocal coach and tutored famous students including Blondie singer Debbie Harry, was walking around at night alone when the attack occurred. </p> <p>Her red-headed attacker then ran off, with police saying the attacker crossed the street before pushing Gustern, who suffered a fatal head injury.</p> <p>NYPD Chief of Detectives James Essig described it as a “disgusting, disgraceful law offence” committed against a “vulnerable elderly female who is doing nothing but walking down the streets of New York City”.</p> <p><em>Image credits: NYPD / Facebook</em></p>

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Princess Diana's voice coach's sweet promise to her sons

<p>Princess Diana's voice coach Stewart Pearce has opened up about his experience with working with the late royal in his new book Diana: The Voice of Change.</p> <p>The biography is almost 25 years in the making after Pearce kept a decades-long promise to Princess Diana after she sought him out after the controversial Panorama interview in 1995.</p> <p>This interview is where she famously said that there "were three of us in the marriage", meaning herself, Prince Charles and his now-wife Camilla.</p> <p>"She sought me out after that Panorama interview because she looked at herself on screen and realized that she wasn't appearing to be as powerful as she wanted to be. She felt quite submissive," Pearce tells T&amp;C.</p> <p>"She wanted to try and find a way of really balancing her private self with her public persona so that there is no change between the two—so she could stand on a platform and render forth whatever she needed to say, but feel good about it, to feel relaxed, to feel confident, to feel empowered, and to feel harmony."</p> <p>She and Pearce spoke about a book about their time together before she died in a car crash, but she was insistent that she didn't want the book published until her sons, Prince Harry and Prince William, were settled in their lives.</p> <p>"When we were working together during the latter stages of her life—not that we knew that then, of course, her death came as a very surprising, shocking, horrific event—but she said to me, 'Wouldn't it be wonderful if all this work we've done became a book? And I said, 'Yeah, that would be wonderful. Wouldn't it?'</p> <p>She said, "Yes, but don't write it until the boys are married, because then they're going to be exploring their own power in the world and discovering their own sovereignty.' And that was just a passing statement, so I thought that was rather amusing, but I waited until now."</p> <p>He wanted to document Diana's "essence" instead of the time they spent together.</p> <p>"I wrote the book because I felt that there was something very valuable to say about Diana's soul what allowed her to ignite the radiance that she brought forth into the world," he says.</p> <p>"[Most biographies] chronicle Diana's life, as though they were social diaries. And I chose not to do that. I wanted to go to the very essence of who she was and to talk about the quality of her soul, which was just so remarkable in its beauty, in its loving, in its compassion, in its empathy."</p>

Books

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The slow coach

<p><em>Justine Tyerman can’t resist a hiking trip to Switzerland, so she develops a convenient case of myopia.</em></p> <p>Warning bells (the kind that hang around the necks of Swiss cows) began clanging inside my head when Birgit invited me on a hiking expedition in the Bernese Alps. Having met a few Swiss people and witnessed their superior hiking prowess, I should have known better than to believe that she was ‘unfit having not hiked for 14 years’. </p> <p>But yearning to revisit the alps and walk again amid majestic mountain kings, I conveniently snipped the donger out of the bell and lulled myself into believing I could ‘foot it’ with Swiss tour leader Birgit. After all, it was only three days and I would just be carrying a light day pack. Eurotrek was taking care of luggage transfers, transport and accommodation. All quite manageable, I decided in my blinkered, myopic state . . . so off I went to Switzerland. </p> <p>Our hiking group met up in Meiringen, a tranquil little resort town in the Hasli Valley known as ‘a nursery of first class alpine guides’. There’s an impressive bronze statue there depicting the ‘King of the Alpine Guides’ Melchior Anderegg with English mountaineer Sir Leslie Stephen. The jagged teeth of the Engelhörner Range, described as a climbers’ paradise, provide a stunning backdrop to the statue.</p> <p>Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was a regular visitor to Meiringen. His famous fictional sleuth, Sherlock Holmes spent his last night at the hotel where we stayed – the Park Hotel du Sauvage - before his apparently fatal encounter in 1891 with arch foe Professor Moriarty at nearby Reichenbach Falls. Holmes’ fans refused to accept this death so Doyle was forced to resurrect him three years later.</p> <p>I visited Meiringen’s fascinating Sherlock Holmes museum which tells all about the life of the master detective and his sidekick Dr John Watson. You can travel by funicular to the Reichenbach Falls where Holmes and Moriarty struggled and supposedly fell to their deaths. The falls flow into the glacier-fed Aare River which has carved a deep gash into limestone rock over millions of years. A platform leads through the narrow gorge suspended from a perpendicular rock face just above the icy, green river.</p> <p>Over dinner that evening, we studied the detailed information and maps provided by Eurotrek. Day one of the Bear Trek from Meiringen to Grindelwald covered 22.9km, ascending 1530m and descending 1095m, a total hiking time of eight hours, 30 minutes - a formidable start to our expedition.</p> <p>Eurotrek included suggestions for shortening the hike by a couple of hours and shaving off a few hundred vertical metres by taking a Post Auto bus to the Hotel Rosenlaui.</p> <p>Birgit endorsed the idea and I wholeheartedly agreed, trying not to sound too enthusiastic.</p> <p>Disembarking at the graceful Hotel Rosenlaui overlooking the Aare River, we were confronted with spectacular peaks rising abruptly above a dark green tree-line splodged with fiery autumn foliage.</p> <p>We set off and all went well . . . for the first six minutes. And then the naturally-athletic Birgit hit her stride. Even 14 years in Australia could not dilute her Swissness. Mountains are to Swiss what rugby is to Kiwis. It’s part of their psyche, their DNA. They can no more walk slowly uphill than a Kiwi can cheer for the Aussies! </p> <p>The teller-of-tall-tales strode ahead at a steady pace, the same speed up as on the flat. </p> <p><strong>One foot after the other</strong></p> <p>Meanwhile, the slow coach brought up the rear, grateful for frequent photo stops which allowed me to catch my breath and catch up. I remembered the mantra of my hiking mate on our very first tramp many years ago. One foot after the other and you’ll get there . . . eventually. </p> <p>The beauty of the surroundings kept my spirits buoyed. The trail led us through forests of tall conifers, across lush green meadows sprinkled with wild flowers grazed by friendly, bell-wearing cows, and alongside meandering streams.</p> <p>We climbed to a beautiful alpine plateau where we walked in awed silence in the shadow of the magnificent, mystical Wetterhorn whose sheer grey rock face wept glacier tears.</p> <p>There were no other hikers on this relatively remote part of the Bear Trek . . . and the bears that once roamed these high alpine pathways had long since disappeared. The only sounds were the ding-dong of cow bells and the conversational gurgling of mountain streams.</p> <p>We came across barns and chalets with self-service fridges stocked with local cheeses. Some were beautifully decorated with flowers and pin-up photos of award-winning dairy cows whose rich milk made the products therein.</p> <p>Among Switzerland’s multifarious delights are her mountain restaurants found in the most unlikely places. The Berghotel, located at the summit of the Grosse Scheidegg Pass, 1962m, is one such establishment. The hotel served hearty fare for hungry hikers - barley soup with spicy sausages and crispy bread followed by mouth-watering desserts.</p> <p>On the long downward track to Grindelwald, the Eiger’s forbidding North Face loomed into view, along with the breath-taking Mönsch and Jungfrau.</p> <p>The lovely Hotel Kirchbühl, our resting place for the night, was a welcome sight at the end of a long day’s hiking. And a treat was in store for us on the terrace. Birgit introduced us to ‘Hugo’ which became our favourite cocktail on the trek – made with prosecco, elderflower syrup, mint and lime juice, it was seriously refreshing. There was magic in the air that evening as sunset cast surreal shafts of light on the mountains, and long shadows over the picturesque village of Grindelwald.</p> <p>Encircled by a necklace of mountains, Grindelwald emerged as a popular holiday resort in the late 18th century. The 3967m Eiger became a magnet for mountaineers, the first ascent taking place in 1858. However, the 1800m sheer rock and ice Nord Wand (North Face) was not conquered until 1938. The Eiger has since claimed 64 lives.</p> <p>In 1912, a railway reached the Jungfrau and today still holds the distinction of being Europe’s highest train station at 3454m. The Sphinx Terrace at the ‘Top of Europe’ sits at 3571m.</p> <p>With outstanding skiing and hiking trails, Grindelwald is a popular year-round destination. A few years ago, I hiked to Lake Bachalp. The lake’s stunning reflections of the mountains make it one of the region’s most exquisite walks.</p> <p>After a delicious dinner of local venison, fresh vegetables, salads and apple fritters, sleep came easily to the slow coach, thanks to a comfy bed, fluffy duvet and soft pillow. I was so thankful I’d survived day one . . . but day two looked even more daunting.</p> <p><em>To be continued...</em></p> <p><strong>Factbox:</strong></p> <ul> <li>The Bear Trek is part of the Via Alpina, a network of five international trails, covering 5000km through eight countries. Established in the year 2000, the Via Alpina has 342 stages on clearly-marked paths from zero to 3000m above sea level. In Switzerland, mountain restaurants and hotels provide meals and accommodation along the way. Eurotrek organised our accommodation and luggage transfers so we just carried a light day pack.</li> </ul> <p><em>Justine Tyerman was a guest of <a href="https://www.myswitzerland.com/en-nz/">Switzerland Tourism</a>, travelled courtesy of <a href="https://www.myswitzerland.com/en-nz/planning/transport-accommodation/tickets-public-transportation/">Swiss Travel Pass</a> and hiked in the <a href="https://jungfrauregion.swiss/en/winter/">Jungfrau Region</a> with <a href="https://www.eurotrek.ch/en">Eurotrek.</a></em></p>

International Travel

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Australian tennis legend passes away aged 64

<p>Former Australian Davis Cup tennis star Peter McNamara has died aged 64.</p> <p>“Macca,” who reached a career-high number seven in the world in 1983, left a memorable mark when he beat two all-time greats Jimmy Connors and Ivan Lendl to win two of his five singles titles.</p> <p><img style="width: 500px; height: 281.39400921658984px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7828812/eacpdumueaiyi11-3.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/8fca7dad11f949949a1e0a3f6767101c" /></p> <p style="text-align: center;"><em>Peter McNamara, 2014. </em></p> <p>However, what the tennis star was perhaps most highly regarded for was his doubles partnership with Paul McNamee – the duo went on to win Wimbledon twice in 1980 and 1982 as well as the Australian Open in 1979.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">Hard to believe that after 50 years of friendship Macca is gone... you lived life to the full mate and will be missed by your loved ones and many more...a toast to the great times mate <a href="https://t.co/0RVbCD6ZRd">pic.twitter.com/0RVbCD6ZRd</a></p> — Paul McNamee (@PaulFMcNamee) <a href="https://twitter.com/PaulFMcNamee/status/1153066090760511490?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 21, 2019</a></blockquote> <p>Melbourne-born McNamara retired in 1987 and enjoyed a successful coaching career.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">So saddened to wake up to the news of Peter McNamara’s passing overnight. A great player, great coach that improved every player he worked with, and gun of a person. Big hugs to his family, friends and of course, his great mate <a href="https://twitter.com/PaulFMcNamee?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@PaulFMcNamee</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/RIPMacca?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#RIPMacca</a> 😔 <a href="https://t.co/CeFBai2jYI">pic.twitter.com/CeFBai2jYI</a></p> — Darren Cahill (@darren_cahill) <a href="https://twitter.com/darren_cahill/status/1153063153724354560?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 21, 2019</a></blockquote> <p>He coached Mark Philippoussis and guided Grigor Dimitrov in his formative years. More recently, he coached Matt Ebden and Wang Qiang.</p> <p>Until February, McNamara worked with Qiang and helped her to reach the world’s top 20 in their four-year partnership.</p> <p>The Aussie legend died peacefully at his home in Germany on Saturday night after a long and brave battle with prostate cancer.</p> <p>David Law, commentator and long-time friend of the tennis star and coach said McNamara went on to compete in exhibition matches and coach throughout his illness without many people ever knowing about his personal health issues.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">So sad to wake up &amp; hear the news of Peter McNamara’s passing 😢 he was always one of the coaches I could sit down with on tour &amp; be able to have a great chat with. Mostly about life &amp; our kids. I will never forgot him telling me to live my life &amp; be happy with who I am <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/RIPMacca?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#RIPMacca</a></p> — Casey Dellacqua OLY (@caseydellacqua) <a href="https://twitter.com/caseydellacqua/status/1153042613152337920?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 21, 2019</a></blockquote> <p>McNamara is survived by his wife Petra, his children and grandchildren.</p> <p>The tennis world took to social media to voice their love and admiration of the late tennis legend.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">When you represent Australia.. you get the chance of meeting so many good people. One of them was Australian tennis legend Peter McNamara. Ripper bloke and will sadly be missed. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/RIPMacca?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#RIPMacca</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/tennis?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#tennis</a> 😪</p> — Dean Jones (@ProfDeano) <a href="https://twitter.com/ProfDeano/status/1153074719203233795?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 21, 2019</a></blockquote> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">Peter McNamara was one of the greats, a great person. He gave his all to everything he did, respected life &amp; always had a smile &amp; time for you. He’s someone you wanted to be in the trenches with. He fought in silence and now he can rest peacefully . <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/RIPMacca?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#RIPMacca</a></p> — roger rasheed (@roger_rasheed) <a href="https://twitter.com/roger_rasheed/status/1153038830552772608?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 21, 2019</a></blockquote> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">One of the greats 🇦🇺 🙏<a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/RIPMacca?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#RIPMacca</a> <a href="https://t.co/iYJvS3qDBq">pic.twitter.com/iYJvS3qDBq</a></p> — TennisAustralia (@TennisAustralia) <a href="https://twitter.com/TennisAustralia/status/1153078863129264128?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 21, 2019</a></blockquote>

Caring

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Life in retirement: Why it’s never too late to start a business

<p><em><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://www.megangiles.com/" target="_blank">Megan Giles</a></span>, Retirement Transition Consultant, supports those approaching retirement to successfully transition and create a retirement they will love to live!</strong></em></p> <p>Think you’re too old to start a business? Think again. The 55+ age bracket is the fastest growing demographic for launching a new business and proves that age is no barrier to entrepreneurship. A recent US study found that almost 40% of Baby Boomer respondents indicated they were interested in starting a business or not-for-profit in retirement. And why not! Retirement provides a wonderful opportunity to pursue your passion on your own terms and earn an income in the process.</p> <p><em>As Jill says, “I love being over 60 and just figuring out my new career. So many wonderful things still to come”</em></p> <p>Why kick back in the recliner if you would rather be doing something else?</p> <p><strong>How a business can help realise your purpose in retirement</strong></p> <p>There are a number of motivators for starting a business after stepping away from one’s ‘real’ career. It might be that you developed a specific or highly desirable skill set during your career and don’t want your skills to lose currency.  It might be that you have a hobby and are excited to purpose it with passion, or that you are an empty nester with more time on your hands and want to do something meaningful with your days. Whatever your motivation, why not give it a go! Remember that there is nothing wrong with making money by serving and delivering great value to others.</p> <p><strong>The unique contribution that Baby Boomers have to offer</strong></p> <p>One of the most powerful points of difference that retirees have to offer is the ability to identify with, and respond to, the needs of a fast growing consumer demographic – the Baby Boomers themselves.</p> <p>According to the <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs%40.nsf/94713ad445ff1425ca25682000192af2/1647509ef7e25faaca2568a900154b63?OpenDocument" target="_blank">ABS</a></strong></span>, at least 15% of the Australia population in 2017 were 65 or older, which accounts for 3.4 million people! Baby Boomers constitute a significant part of the consumer market and are inclined to do business with other Baby Boomers because they ‘get’ them. They think to themselves ‘you’ve been where I’ve been and you understand what I need’.</p> <p><em>As Ange* reflects “I’m 67 and most of the women I work with are baby boomers too. One of the things I realised is that women of a certain age come from a place of wisdom. We’ve lived, we’ve learned, we synthesise so much…And we’re truly experts on what we do because we have that deeper knowledge that goes beyond textbook knowledge”</em></p> <p>Challenge the stereotypes that retirees are past it and out of touch. Your experience, networks and resilience are just three valuable qualities you will bring to the entrepreneurial world.</p> <p><strong>Setting off on the right foot - Key actions to take when starting a business in retirement</strong></p> <p><strong>1. Do market research.</strong> For the greatest chance of success it is important to ensure you are solving a problem in a marketplace. Who is your ideal client? Can you describe them – what they like doing, how they spend their time, and what is important to them. Do you know someone who fits this description? Chat to them and find out if what you want to offer will appeal to them? Test and refine. Find some more people to speak with. Test and refine again.</p> <p><strong>2. Stop and reflect.</strong> Take a moment to stop and reflect on your strengths, your proudest moments, the challenges you have overcome and what you are truly passionate about. This will provide a positive foundation to build your business on. Remember that you don’t need to compete with the 20-somethings in this digital age. Offerings do not have to be tech-based to succeed.</p> <p><strong>3. Plan.</strong> Identify the problem or opportunity and assess if you have the right skills to respond. If there are any gaps consider if you need to bring in some expertise, be that coaching, outsourcing or upskilling. Don’t be afraid to use your connections and embrace technology. Determine how much money you are willing to outlay, how many items/sessions you need to sell to break even (and better yet earn a profit) and then make that one of your goals.</p> <p><strong>4. Set ground rules.</strong> Make the distinction between work and personal time. Remember, retirement is about lifestyle – you don’t want your business to become all-consuming. Set these expectations early and hold yourself to account!</p> <p><strong>One bonus tip</strong> – it is not worth losing a friendship over a business. Before you launch a venture with a friend, ensure that your skills are complementary and create some ground rules about how the two of you are going to work together and speak up when things are not going as anticipated.</p> <p><em>After a long and successful career in recruitment, Lisa* established a personal image business. Through her career she frequently advised on creating a high impact first impression and recognised the importance of feeling good in one’s skin. She also had an amateur interest in styling with friends regularly asking ‘what should I wear to that important dinner’ or ‘what shoes go with this outfit’. Not surprisingly she created a business supporting women approaching retirement to transition from a corporate wardrobe to a more relaxed style. She appreciated that women (like herself) still want to look smart but reflect a new energy in retirement.</em></p> <p><em>Lisa has built her business via word-of-mouth, some networking and an online presence. She is conscious of the number of clients she takes on each week as she wants her business to be a joy, not a burden. To her, business is about pursuing something that lights her up (and being rewarded for it!).</em></p> <p>The Baby Boomers have always been the ones to break the rules and to challenge the social norms. Why should that be any difference in retirement? Why retire in the traditional sense of the word if you’re excited to be doing something else?</p>

Retirement Life

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It's okay to slow down in retirement

<p><em><strong>Megan Giles is a retirement designer for women. She supports and coaches women approaching retirement to successfully transition and create a lifestyle that is fulfilling, meaningful to them and lights them up each day.</strong></em></p> <p>Retirement is all about slowing down and finally having time to do the things you have always wanted to do. You count down the days but when retirement actually arrives, the pace of life can be a bit of a shock, especially when you have come from a demanding job in which people depended on you to make decisions, achieve outcomes and to develop others. You thrive on pressure and deadlines and now you feel a little... lonely and lost. You don’t feel needed and the days seem never-ending.</p> <p>Before you panic and start looking for jobs, take a moment to reflect and recognise that a less full schedule does not make you any less worthy as a person. Acknowledge it for what it is – a well-deserved opportunity for you to enjoy the things you truly take pleasure in.</p> <p>Celebrate the fact that you have time to do the things you want to do properly. When you were working your mornings probably meant that you wore whatever was clean and ironed, drank your coffee as you commuted, paid your bills and organised birthday presents during your lunch break, and if you were lucky squeezed in a gym visit on the way home. One of the lovely things about retirement is that it allows you to truly live in the moment rather than rush from ‘A’ to ‘B’.</p> <p>Make a ritual of your daily activities. You might like to create a wake-up routine which involves a leisurely cup of coffee and a proper read of the newspaper (not just the headlines!) or you may like to walk rather than drive to coffee,  chatting to neighbours and admiring the greenery around you as you go. You have the time. Stop, smell the roses and enjoy the simpler things!</p> <p>That said, if you are starting to climb the walls at home, the following suggestions will get you on your way to a retirement you love to live!</p> <ol> <li><strong>Plan one activity for each day</strong>. As a starting point even if it is just to do the grocery shopping, it will provide some purpose to your day and will ensure that you interact with at least one other person. You never know who you may bump into when you are out and about</li> <li><strong>Try five new things.</strong> Make a list of five new activities you would like to try and schedule them over the next two months. It might be cycling, singing, learning a language, gardening or volunteering. Avoid recreating the busyness of your former work life by cramming everything into just one week and allow yourself things to look forward to over the coming weeks. Not only do new activities provide structure to your days but they keep the brain active– something that is so important as we age. Don’t want to go solo? Invite a friend along!</li> <li><strong>Take the lead!</strong> If you can’t find an activity or group within your local community that tickles your fancy consider starting your own group, be it a book club with friends, a walking group with your neighbours, or a regular ukulele jam session with other musicians.</li> <li><strong>Give yourself permission to have a lay-about day</strong>. Isn’t this the thing you often yearned for as you commuted to work? This is not going to be an everyday occurrence and having one lay-about day is not going to make you sloth-like. Declare your intention out aloud and schedule it into your diary, i.e. make it a proper activity with a specific date and dedicated time. If you feel as though you need more structure for your lay-about day, create an outcome and decide what book you are going to read or movie you are going to watch.</li> <li><strong>Create a ‘to do when I retire list’.</strong> In planning for a holiday we always think “we need to go there” and “we should see that” but when the first day of our holiday arrives, we draw a blank…What were all of those things we were going to enjoy? In the busyness of life they’ve slipped our mind. Don’t let this happen to your retirement. A useful tool to capture those ideas and inspiration as they come to you, or as suggested by others, is the <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://eepurl.com/cFiKDz" target="_blank">My Retirement Planner</a></strong></span>. A ready-made list of ideas will help to ensure that you are not at a loss on those quiet days.</li> </ol> <p><em>For more great retirement advice please visit Megan Giles’ <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.megangiles.com/" target="_blank">website</a></strong></span>.<br /></em></p>

Retirement Life

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What I want to be when I grow up…

<p><em><strong>Megan Giles is a retirement designer for women. She supports and coaches women approaching retirement to successfully transition and create a lifestyle that is fulfilling, meaningful to them and lights them up each day.</strong></em></p> <p>If you walk into a kindergarten or prep class and ask kids what they want to be when they grow up, their eyes often fill with wonder and you receive all sorts of inspiring suggestions such as an ‘astronaut’, ‘nurse for horses’, ‘adventurer’, ‘pirate’… The list goes on. Whether it’s a real job or one that hasn’t been created yet, it doesn’t matter – at that age anything is possible.</p> <p>When does it change? When do we decide that we have to be more ‘sensible’? At some stage we are hit with a dose of reality and determine that we need more ‘practical’ career goals?</p> <p>As we become older we strive to become accountants, lawyers, teachers, electricians and nurses. These are the types of jobs that provide financial security and before we know it the years have passed and we are well ensconced in a career.</p> <p>But what happened to those original dreams of when we were younger? Have they completely disappeared or is there still a spark somewhere deep inside waiting to be ignite? There are some limitations as we age, for example we may not have the physical capability to become a Hollywood stunt person, but retirement does provide a fantastic opportunity to do more of the things that light us up.</p> <p>Do you still have ideas that fill your eyes with wonder or are they tucked away in the deep recesses of your mind?</p> <p>Sometimes the simple question and answer approach isn’t effective in drawing our true desires out – we feel too shy to articulate that ‘crazy’ idea, and we need to try something a little more creative. In this article I share three ideas for re-imagining the possibilities for enjoyment and meaning in your retirement. These ideas may seem a little ‘out there’ but bear with me…</p> <p>If you have found yourself drifting in retirement, why not give one of these activities a go – what have you got to lose?!</p> <p><strong>Revisit your childhood dreams</strong></p> <p>Reflect on your childhood and teenage years. What were the activities you could lose yourself in for hours on end?  What were the subjects you studied at school, and what are your happiest moments - what were you doing at those times? Do these things still excite you now?</p> <p><strong>Describe your perfect day</strong></p> <p>If you could design the perfect day in your retirement what would it look like? Describe that day in detail starting with when you wake up and end when you go to bed. Try to avoid being limited by your current circumstances and allow yourself to dream. You might like to consider:</p> <ul> <li>Where you would be</li> <li>What you would be doing</li> <li>Who you would be with</li> <li>How you would feel</li> <li>What you would not be doing (you can then ensure this doesn’t feature in your perfect day)</li> </ul> <p>What do you notice when you start describing this day – what is it that matters most to you and that brings you joy?</p> <p><strong>Create a vision board</strong></p> <p>A vision board is any sort of board (be it paper, cardboard, electronic) on which you display images (from a magazines, newspapers or online) that represent the things that you want to be, do, or have in your life.</p> <p>As the saying goes, ‘a picture is worth a thousand words’ and when we struggle to find inspiration or to make sense of our thoughts, a visual tool can be a great help to clarify what is important and fulfils us. </p> <p>For example, you might say that you want a more ‘fulfilling’ retirement. A noble goal, but can you articulate what that might look like on a day-to-day basis?  Is that camping, spending time with family, playing golf, volunteering or travelling? Fulfilment will look and sound different to each of us – what do you notice about the images that you select to describe the retirement you desire?</p> <p><strong>Now what?</strong></p> <p>Don’t be daunted by age of any expectations of sensibilities in retirement. The great thing about retirement is with the kids are grown up and the house paid off, you now have the time to inject some more spontaneity and adventure into life!  Find that spark and ignite it!</p> <p>Not sure where to start? The online world is unlimited and there’s a website, online forum or group for almost any interest imaginable and they enable you to connect with people or all ages and from around the world. Do a google search and see what comes up. You may also like to visit your local council, sport or community organisation website as a means of kick starting your new activity as many offer great introductory sessions for seniors.</p> <p><em>For more great retirement advice please visit Megan Giles’ <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.megangiles.com/" target="_blank">website</a></strong></span>.</em></p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/retirement-life/2017/01/sneaky-things-ageing-does/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Sneaky things ageing does</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/retirement-life/2016/12/pat-simmons-three-goals-for-retirement/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>My three goals for retirement</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/retirement-life/2016/12/perception-of-ageing-needs-to-change/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Why our perception of ageing needs an overhaul</strong></em></span></a></p>

Retirement Life

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Meet the 74-year-old coach behind South Africa’s golden boy

<p>The world was stunned when 24-year-old Wayde van Niekerk smashed Michael Johnson’s iconic world record in the 400 metres from lane eight. If that’s not impressive enough, wait ‘till you meet his coach.</p> <p>Van Niekerk credits his 74-year-old coach, Anna Botha, with pushing him into gold medal-worthy form. “She's really kept me very disciplined on the goal and where I need to be,” he told <a href="http://www.foxsports.com.au/olympics/great-grandmother-ans-botha-is-the-mentor-to-south-african-sensation-wayde-van-niekerk/news-story/8c164a1e7a94e59ab83bf120b31ba268" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Fox Sports</span></strong></a> after his record-breaking win. “I'm really grateful I can go on the track and say my coach has pushed me to reach every level and believe anything is possible.”</p> <p>Botha, whom van Niekerk calls “an amazing woman”, began her career in Namibia, training daughter Herma before moving to South Africa in the ‘80s. Now, the great-grandmother of four has earned her highest accomplishment yet – coaching an Olympic gold medallist.</p> <p>Proudly cheering her star runner from the stands, Botha says van Niekerk’s success is down to determination and respect between the pair. “We can laugh, but when we have to work hard, we work hard.”</p> <p>What an inspirational woman! Tell us in the comments below, what’s been your favourite moment from the Rio Olympics so far?</p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/news/news/2016/08/grandpa-declines-seat-on-rio-train/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Grandpa declines seat on Rio train in the most impressive way</span></em></strong></a></p> <p><a href="/news/news/2016/08/ryan-lochte-robbed-at-gunpoint/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>US swimmer Ryan Lochte robbed at gunpoint in Rio</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/news/news/2016/08/rio-olympic-pools-turn-deep-shade-of-green/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>What on earth is going on with the pools at Rio?</strong></em></span></a></p>

News

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10 tips for surviving a long bus trip

<p>Bus travel generally provides a cheap alternative to other forms of transport with the added bonus of being a great way to see the scenery of the place you’re visiting.</p> <p>But even at the best of times they can also be a bit of a pain in the neck.</p> <p>To ensure you don’t start your trip bemoaning the fact you hit the road, we’ve put together 10 tips for surviving a long bus trip so you can be as comfortable as possible.</p> <p><strong>1. Pack as if you’re catching a plane</strong></p> <p>Make sure you have at least two bags, one big one for your luggage, and another smaller one for your wallet, refreshments, and any medication you might need to access.</p> <p><strong>2. Bring your own snacks</strong></p> <p>It’s likely that you’re going to stop at rest points along they way, but they may not be at convenient times and having a tasty snacks is a good way to keep sugar levels up.</p> <p><strong>3. Bring earplugs and an eye mask</strong></p> <p>If you’re catching an overnight bus or simply feel as though you could do with a bit of a nap, nothing keeps the distractions out like a set of earplugs and an eye mask.</p> <p><strong>4. Bring a neck pillow as well</strong></p> <p>You’ll thank us when you’re not nursing a stiff neck at your destination! Even cheap versions of these neck pillows provide some much needed relief when travelling.</p> <p><img width="498" height="280" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/19068/shutterstock_346326038_498x280.jpg" alt="bus trip 1"/></p> <p><strong>5. Bring some distractions</strong></p> <p>Something as simple as a good book will suffice. You can also bring a tablet, music player or even a deck of playing cards to help wile away the hours on the bus.  </p> <p><strong>6. Keep your valuables secure</strong></p> <p>The downside of catching a bus is you really don’t know who else is on it with you. Make sure you know where your valuables are and keep them safe and secure.</p> <p><strong>7. Bring portable hand sanitiser</strong></p> <p>If nature calls between rest stops bus bathrooms is generally a bit of an experience and often don’t have working taps. Make sure you bring portable hand sanitiser.</p> <p><strong>8. Dress in comfortable layers</strong></p> <p>There’s nothing worse than feeling too cold or too warm on a long bus ride. If you’re wearing comfortable layers you can easily adjust to the temperature.</p> <p><strong>9. Make sure you hydrate</strong></p> <p>Hydration is key on long forms of transport, so make sure you at least bring some water for your trip. You can even consider a sports drink or electrolyte tablets.</p> <p><strong>10. Sit back and enjoy the journey</strong></p> <p>While catching a long bus ride may not be an entirely pleasant experience the whole way through, you do get to see some spectacular scenery on your trip.  </p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/travel/travel-tips/2016/03/products-that-make-travelling-a-breeze/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>8 products that make travelling a breeze</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/travel/international/2015/12/7-iconic-public-transport-experiences/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>7 of the world’s best iconic public transport experiences</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/travel/travel-tips/2016/03/teen-saves-flying-sheffield-to-essex-via-germany/"><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>Teen saves money by flying from Sheffield to Essex via Germany</strong></span></em></a></p>

Travel Tips