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Woman horrified after man brings his mother to first date

A woman has been left stunned after her crush invited his mother to infiltrate their first date. The young woman took to Reddit to recall the mortifying moment, and to ask users if she was out of line by leaving the awkward date. The 23-year-old began the story by explaining how she matched with a 25-year-old man, who she referred to as Jake, on the dating app Hinge. She explained that the couple had been “chatting for a few weeks, and he seemed like a solid guy — funny, good taste in music, and even remembered I loved Italian food.” “He planned the date at this nice little spot in Dallas, which I thought was sweet,” she added. She continued, “I show up, and everything's fine at first. He's already there, we hug, and he even complimented my outfit.” “But like five minutes after I sit down, this older woman walks in. Jake stands up, waves her over, and says, ‘This is my mom!’ 'I thought I misheard him for a second.” After he introduced his mother to his date, she pulled up a chair and began asking the 23-year-old a slew of invasive questions. “She sits down at the table, all casual, and starts introducing herself to me like this is normal. Meanwhile, I'm sitting there, trying to figure out if I'm being pranked. I kind of laugh nervously and say, ‘Oh, I didn't know you were bringing anyone,’ and he goes, ‘Oh, she just wanted to meet you. Don't worry—it's not a big deal’.” “But it was a big deal because she didn't just stop by to say hi — she ordered wine and stayed. The whole time, she's asking me these personal questions about my job, my family, even if I want kids someday.” “It was like an interview, not a date. Jake barely said anything. He just smiled and kept nodding like this was all normal,” she revealed. The woman then shared that after 20 minutes of the awkward encounter, she decided to leave, and texted Jake that same evening to say she didn’t want to go on another date. She said, “I couldn't take it anymore. I said I wasn't feeling great and needed to leave. I texted him later, saying I didn't think it would work out and wished him well.” Although she thought she did the right thing, she began doubting her decision and questioned if she was in the wrong. The 23-year-old concluded the post by asking, '”Now I feel kind of bad. My roommate says I did the right thing because honestly, who brings their mom to a first date? But my coworker said it was rude to just leave and that maybe his mom was just super close to him or nervous for him or whatever. Was I wrong for walking out?” Reddit users flocked to the comments section and ran to her defence as they slammed Jake for bringing his mother along on the date. One person said, “It's absurd that he would bring her. Unless she needs constant supervision due to some health issue. That is a very strange dynamic. You did what most anyone else would have done. Best of luck.” Image credits: Shutterstock

Relationships

Readers response: What advice would you give to seniors looking to start a new relationship?

When entering the dating world, there are always nerves, expectations and excitement at any age. But when it comes to dating and starting new relationships in your senior years, priorities can be skewed, and meeting someone can be nerve-wracking. We asked our readers what advice they would you give to seniors looking to start a new relationship, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. Judy Chappell - Don’t! Nothing better than independence & freedom late in life after 63 years married. I have my kids, grandkids, great grandies & great friends that’s enough for me. Don’t need another male around. Jan Heggie - If it feels right, do it. If it doesn’t feel right after a while, leave. Life is too short to not enjoy it. Karen Simpson Nikakis - Put legals in place to protect your assets, do not cohabit or marry, and split all bills. Lois Hone - Be true to yourself. Choose someone who completes you, the one person you feel you can’t live without. The one person, who makes you smile, laugh and is still there when you are sad and hurt and wants to support you. Oh and if they like to cook and clean as well, go for it! Julie Fauser - Live each in your own home. Marilyn Langelaar - Do not compare to previous partner. Janet Olsson - Be careful. Don't rush into anything. Lynn Dilley - Just go for it if you are happy and feel safe, but keep your money and documents to yourself. Merle Finlayson - Go for it! It’s never too late. Margot R McCamley - Enjoy the relationship, but there are always buts so tread carefully. Think it through thoroughly, but don't dismiss it as folly. Image credits: Shutterstock

Relationships

Readers response: What are your thoughts on online dating or dating apps for seniors?

When it comes to dating, there are many ways people find their perfect person, and for many that happens online. We asked our readers what their thoughts are on an online dating app for seniors, and the responses were overwhelming. Here's what they said. Kristeen Bon - I tried it for a bit, but found the men to be so unrealistic in their expectations. What they say they want and what they REALLY want are poles apart. Helen Smith - It works great but men really need to look in a mirror now and then. Sue Rowley - Personally, I’m happy on my own, but if you’re looking for a partner where else is there to meet someone? Pub, supermarket, dog walking? Not many options really, especially when you’re older. Jenny Gordon - Would not consider it. Would prefer to stay single than see how friends and relatives have been affected by using them. Ali Veldman - Risky at any age, in my opinion. Diane Derby - I’d never entertain one. I like being by myself, plus two much catfishing and ghosting to be able to find a decent type. Margaret Godfrey - Tried it. A dismal failure in a small population. What is the point of men interstate responding when you live a plane flight away? John Coffey - Met my late partner online, and had a great 10 years. It can be a minefield though. Image credits: Shutterstock

Relationships

Are you up to date with your COVID, flu and other shots? It might depend on who your GP is

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/peter-breadon-1348098">Peter Breadon</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/grattan-institute-1168">Grattan Institute</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/anika-stobart-1014358">Anika Stobart</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/grattan-institute-1168">Grattan Institute</a> Too many older Australians are <a href="https://grattan.edu.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/A-fair-shot-How-to-close-the-vaccination-gap-Grattan-Institute-Report.pdf">missing out</a> on recommended vaccinations for COVID, flu, shingles and pneumococcal that can protect them from serious illness, hospitalisation and even death. A new <a href="https://grattan.edu.au/">Grattan Institute report</a> shows vaccination rates vary widely from GP to GP, highlighting an important place to look for opportunities to boost vaccination. Many people get vaccinated at pharmacies, and those vaccinations are counted in our analysis. But we looked at GPs because they have a unique role overseeing someone’s health care, and an important role promoting vaccination. We found that for some GPs, nine in ten of their older patients were vaccinated for flu. For others, the rate was only four in ten. The differences for shingles and COVID were even bigger. For pneumococcal disease, there was a 13-fold difference in GPs’ patient vaccination rates. While some variation is inevitable, these differences are large, and they result in too many people missing out on recommended vaccines. <h2>Some GPs treat more complex patients</h2> A lot of these differences reflect the fact that GPs see different types of patients. Our research shows older people who aren’t proficient in English are up to 15% less likely to be vaccinated, even after other factors are taken into account. And the problem seems to be getting worse. COVID vaccination rates for people 75 years and older fell to just 36% in May 2024. But rates were even lower – a mere 11% – for people who don’t speak English proficiently, and 15% for those who speak a language other than English at home. Given these results, it’s no surprise that GPs with fewer patients who are vaccinated also have more patients who struggle with English. For GPs with the lowest vaccination rates, one-quarter of their patients aren’t proficient in English. For GPs with the highest vaccination rates, it is only 1%. GPs with fewer vaccinated patients also saw more people who live in rural areas, are poorer, didn’t go to university, and don’t have regular access to a GP, all of which reduce the likelihood of getting vaccinated. Many of these barriers to vaccination are difficult for GPs to overcome. They point to structural problems in our health system, and indeed our society, that go well beyond vaccination. But GPs are also a key part of the puzzle. A <a href="https://www.ijidonline.com/article/S1201-9712(14)01379-4/fulltext">strong</a> <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/21645515.2020.1780848">recommendation</a> from a GP can make a big difference to whether a patient gets vaccinated. <a href="https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/primary-health-care/general-practice-allied-health-primary-care">Nearly all</a> older Australians visit a GP every year. And some GPs have room for improvement. <h2>But GPs seeing similar patients can have very different vaccination rates</h2> We compared GPs whose patients had a similar likelihood of being vaccinated, based on a range of factors including their health, wealth and cultural background. Among the GPs whose patients were least likely to get a flu vaccination, some saw less than 40% of their patients vaccinated, while for others in that group, the rate was over 70%. Among GPs with patients who face few barriers to vaccination, the share of their patients who were vaccinated also varied widely. Even within neighbourhoods, GP patient vaccination rates vary a lot. For example, in Bankstown in Sydney, there was a seven-fold difference in COVID vaccination rates and an 18-fold difference for pneumococcal vaccination. Not everything about clinics and patients can be measured in data, and there will be good reasons for some of these differences. But the results do suggest that some GPs are beating the odds to overcome patient barriers to getting vaccinated, while other GPs could be doing more. That should trigger focused efforts to raise vaccination rates where they are low. <h2>So what should governments do?</h2> A comprehensive national reform agenda is <a href="https://grattan.edu.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/A-fair-shot-How-to-close-the-vaccination-gap-Grattan-Institute-Report.pdf">needed to increase adult vaccination</a>. That includes clearer guidance, national advertising campaigns, SMS reminders, and tailored local programs that reach out to communities with very low levels of vaccination. But based on the big differences in GPs’ patient vaccination rates, Australia also needs a three-pronged plan to help GPs lift older Australians’ vaccination rates. First, the way general practice is funded needs to be overhauled, providing more money for the GPs whose patients face higher barriers to vaccination. Today, clinics with patients who are poorer, sicker and who struggle with English tend to get less funding. They should get more, so they can spend more time with patients to explain and promote vaccination. Second, GPs need to be given data, so that they can easily see how their vaccination rates compare to GPs with similar patients. And third, Primary Health Networks – which are responsible for improving primary care in their area – should give clinics with low vaccination rates the help they need. That might include running vaccination sessions, sharing information about best practices that work in similar clinics with higher vaccination rates, or offering translation support. And because pharmacies also play an important role in promoting and providing vaccines, governments should give them data too, showing how their rates compare to other pharmacies in their area, and support to boost vaccination uptake. These measures would go a long way to better protect some of the most vulnerable in our society. Governments have better data than ever before on who is missing out on vaccinations – and other types of health care. They shouldn’t miss the opportunity to target support so that no matter where you live, what your background is, or which GP or pharmacy you go to, you will have the best chance of being protected against disease.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/234175/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/peter-breadon-1348098">Peter Breadon</a>, Program Director, Health and Aged Care, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/grattan-institute-1168">Grattan Institute</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/anika-stobart-1014358">Anika Stobart</a>, Senior Associate, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/grattan-institute-1168">Grattan Institute</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/are-you-up-to-date-with-your-covid-flu-and-other-shots-it-might-depend-on-who-your-gp-is-234175">original article</a>.

Body

"I just don't like old skin": Jane Fonda's bizarre confession

Jane Fonda has made an unusual confession about her dating life, explaining why she would only date people of a certain age. The Hollywood legend, 85, has been married three times throughout her life: first to director Roger Vadim from 1965 to 1973, then to activist Tom Hayden from 1973 to 1990, and finally to CNN founder Ted Turner from 1991 to 2001. Fonda is currently single, but doesn't plan on staying that way. Despite being open to finding love, the actress has a very specific criteria for potential suitors to meet before agreeing to a date. On the Absolutely Not podcast, the Oscar winner initially suggested she was done with men for good, saying, “I’m done, I’m over, I’m [almost] 86 years old, even in the dark I wouldn’t want to be naked in front of anybody.” But she then went on to confess that there’s still a chance she could fall for a man, but they would just have to be substantially younger. “And here’s another thing, I’m ashamed to say this, if I were to take a lover, he’d have to be 20. Because I don’t like old skin,” said Fonda. She continued, “And consequently, I don’t want to foist that on anybody else. I assume other people are like me, I just don’t like old skin.” “I disapprove of 86-year-old men with 20-year-old women, so I’m not going to repeat it. I can ogle them, and I can’t pretend that I don’t get turned on if I see a certain kind of a person, but no, no, no, I don’t want to force that on anybody.” Her confession has been criticised on social media, with some suggesting the star would be “cancelled” if it was a man that had said the same about young women. “This is seriously weird,” tweeted one fan, while another said: “But an 85 year old man wanting to date a 20 year old woman is disgusting? Am I right?” Image credits: Getty Images

Relationships

Thief asks woman out on date after robbing her at gunpoint

A US woman has gone through the harrowing experience of being robbed at gunpoint, but it was what happened after the fact that was almost as eerie. Amber Beraun was checking the mail one night at her Indianapolis home in May when she was approached by a man with a gun. The gunman was later identified as Damien Boyce. Speaking to WRTV, Beraun said she was confronted by Boyce, who attempted to enter her home. She refused and gave him all the cash she had handy, which came to $100. Before he made his escape, Boyce asked Beraun a very unexpected, and quite frankly bizarre question - to add him on Facebook. The thief also noted he was planning to pay her back. Beraun responded, telling him she “believed” him and that “times just get rough”. Boyce proceeded to ask the woman to “come chill”. He was later arrested by the Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department and charged over a separate armed robbery on June 12, where two people got shot and one was hit in the head with a brick. He was also charged with his robbery of Beraun. Beraun said her local neighbourhood has been affected by the terrifying incident. "It makes me a little on edge knowing that people walk up and down the street, looking for places to commit crimes," she said. "It makes it a little different when you hear noises at night." Beraun insisted she "never" thought something like this would happen to her. "He took away my sense of safety from my home." Image credit: ABC America

Legal

Long-married couples said not to know each other as well as newlyweds

You would think decades of marriage together would give older couples plenty of time to get to know each other but an interesting new study suggests otherwise, finding that couples who have been together for decades are worse at predicting what their partner likes than newlyweds. The study, published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology, tested young couples, aged from 19 to 32, who had been together for an average of two years and older couples, aged from 62 to 78, who had been together for at least 40 years. Each of the 116 participants was presented with a series of descriptions (of foods, movies, house designs and so on) and asked to rate his or her preference and predict how their partner would rate the item. They were also asked to estimate how many of their predictions were correct. And well, overall, we’re not great at knowing what our significant other likes, even though we think we are. Young couples got 42 per cent of their predictions right and older couples only predicted 36 per cent of their partners’ preferences, when both couple groups overconfidently estimated they would get 62 per cent of answers right. “This is surprising because, compared to younger couples, older couples had much more time and opportunities to learn about each other's preferences over the course of their relationship,” the team of psychologist wrote. They suggested that younger couples may be more motivated to understand their partners during the early stages of a relationship. “Another reason could be that older couples pay less attention to each other, because they view their relationship as already firmly committed or because they think they already know their partner well,” said one of the researchers, Dr Benjamin Scheibehenne of the University of Basel. Image credit: Shutterstock

Relationships

Divorce led me to my true love

Over60 community member, Mary Green, 63, shares her story about how when her marriage suddenly ended after 44 years she found that it was a blessing in disguise. "On the Easter weekend of 2012 I was dumped by my husband of 44 years! After a small disagreement I had gone to our holiday flat on a remote golf course outside Melbourne to work on a book fast approaching its publishing deadline. When I messaged that I would be back on Tuesday, he replied by SMS that he had changed the locks. I was incredulous. Marriage is often not easy, but I was about to find out just how tough I was. For the next two months I travelled gypsy style between the golf flat and the tiny new South Yarra studio my second of three sons had just moved into. I have not been inside our family home since. This was the situation I was in when I decided to date. At 63 I just started again. I joined three online dating sites and did not waste time. I booked to meet seven men in the next seven days, apparently breaking all the rules of being cautious and discreet. All seven men were polite and interesting. We had a coffee or met in a wine bar and I had fun, but there was no chemistry. I was just happy being free from my husband. During this time my husband sent my belonging to me on a truck (which I paid for) and when I was sorting through the boxes of files, a page caught my eye. It was the minutes of the golf estate owner’s corporation, and out jumped the name of a man that I had been at school with. Our sisters were best friends in those days. I checked Facebook, and there he was, with three children, seven grandchildren – but I couldn’t see a wife. A bit of messaging banter later, I asked him to ring me. We met up for a drink that turned into dinner and a hug that I will never forget. In my eyes he was still the handsome sporting hero that I had beaten in the high school mixed doubles tennis finals. He was not looking to date. I hoped he would just give me some lessons in online dating. He had been divorced for about 15 years and had two very long relationships with women that he had met on dating sites. He told me that my booking of seven men in seven days was breaking the rules, but also admitted that he had stacked his dates, just hours apart, in order to meet them all. By Christmas 2012 we were a couple in love. It’s been nearly two years since that first date and I am grateful for the internet and the coincidence that we both owned property on the same golfing estate. He plays A Grade, and I try. We are similar in so many other ways that it’s quite spooky sometimes. Our families have embraced each other and the joy of just knowing he is there helps me immensely through what has been a difficult time. Having worked as a support in my ex-husband’s career, and suddenly having to pay bills without a job of my own, led me to Centrelink. They said that I was too old to retrain at no cost, unless I wanted to study Aged Care – something rather peculiar in that thinking, a subsidised course in bookwork software would be more useful and help me save on accountant’s fees. In the meantime I’m setting up my own Facebook blog, called Healthy Ageing. If I can find a good man on the internet, I am optimistic about building a good lifestyle on it too." *Names have been changed Images: Getty

Relationships

Rolf Harris' cause – and date – of death confirmed

Rolf Harris’ cause of death has been revealed following the announcement of his passing after a battle with neck cancer. While the information was made public on May 23, his death certificate states he died several weeks ago. On May 11, it was speculated that Harris was gravely ill after an ambulance was spotted outside his UK home. However, it wasn’t until May 23 that his death was confirmed. The date of his death on the certificate was listed as May 10, one day before the ambulance was seen. The cause of death was listed as squamous cell carcinoma of neck – neck cancer – and “fragility of old age”. It was first revealed in late 2022 that Harris had been severely ill and struggled to communicate with people. The gap between the date of his passing and his death certificate allowed the family to hold a funeral for Harris and cremate him away from the public eye. In a short statement released by his family, they said Harris “died peacefully surrounded by family and friends and has now been laid to rest”. Harris lived with his wife of 65 years, Alwen Hughes, 91, who has Alzheimer’s disease. Both needed round the clock care. Private investigator and author William Merrit told the Daily Mail Harris was gravely ill when he saw him in 2022. “Rolf has been very sick. When I saw him he was able to speak to me. He was with it, but he was obviously unwell,” he said. A neighbour also shared Harris’ health had declined after the death of his poodle, Bumble in 2022. “Only carers and nurses, who care for him 24 hours, come and go. I’m told he can’t eat anymore,” they said. Harris was born in 1930 in Bassendean, in Perth’s north east. He was a champion swimmer in his youth before moving to London in the early 50s’, where he studied art. After getting early gigs working as a performer and illustrator for the BBC and ITV, he rose to fame for his art and music. In 2005, Queen Elizabeth sat for a portrait with him. Harris received several awards and honours, most of which were taken away. He had been appointed a Member of the Order of the British Empire in 1968 and was appointed to the Order of Australia (AM), where he later advanced to Officer (AO) in 2012. He was thrust into the spotlight in 2013 after being arrested as part of a UK police investigation into a string of sexual offences. He was also accused of taking indecent images of children. He stood trial in June 2014 and was convicted of 12 counts of indecent assault against four teenage girls between 1968 and 1986, one of which was later appealed. He was sentenced to jail for five years and nine months. Harris was released from Stafford Prison in England’s midlands in mid-2017 after three years behind bars and was rarely spotted in public afterwards. He stood trial again in mid-2017 for separate cases of sexual assault, involving seven complainants aged between 12 and 27 at the time of the alleged incidents. He was found not guilty on three counts and was cleared after the jury failed to reach a verdict on four other counts. Image credit: Getty

News

3 things all couples fight about (and what to do about them)

All couples argue from time to time, and it seems that we’re all fighting about the same things. These three issues crop up time and time again, mainly because there’s a deeper meaning than whose turn is it really to vacuum the house. Here are a few reasons why conflicts about money, sex and chores often escalate and how to cool down things down. Money Fights about money are rarely about money. Money is fraught with layers of meaning and often how we see it (and how we handle it) is a reflection of our personal values around freedom, security and generosity. Fights about spending can often be traced back to fears about not having influence in important matters in your life, worries about future security or concerns that your partner does not respect you or your money values. If you find yourself continually arguing about money, rather than focusing on the dollar value of items or pinning blame on who spent what when, talk generally about what role you think money should play in your life. Sex The intimate act of sex can both be a wonderful cementer of relationships or it can be terrible wedge that causes untold relationship tension. Arguing about how often to have sex is often not about the act itself but about our feelings of connection, affection and love. It’s important to remember that just like people change over the years so do desires and intimacy needs. Fluctuating libidos is a factor of life and the way to ensure you’re on the same page as your partner is to communicate. Don’t just expect your partner to instinctively know what you need. Housework It may sound like the most trivial of fights but disputes over domestic chores are less about the tasks and more about the underlying meanings of respect, fairness and worth. When one person feels like the household tasks are not shared or equal, it can unearth negative feelings that the other person does not appreciate them or does not respect them enough to help out. Have an agreement about housework tasks and talk about whether it may have a deeper meaning. Image credit: Shutterstock

Relationships

Why it's never too late to start dating

Thinking about getting back into the dating game? It’s a new world out there and going on a date has changed. Here’s what you need to know. Whether you’re looking for love and companionship in your 20s and 30s or your 60s and 70s, dating is a universal experience that remains timeless. You’re never too old to meet someone new, rendezvous for a dinner and a movie, and possibly have something develop into a relationship. It’s just the act of “going on a date” that can change over the decades. If you’re looking to get back into the dating game but aren’t sure what to expect, don’t worry because you’re not alone. Many singles in their 50s and 60s would like to find a companion to share their life with but aren’t sure how to go about dipping their toe back into the dating pool. <a href="http://www.valeriegibson.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Valerie Gibson</a>, US-based dating and relationship expert and author of The Later Dater, says dating again doesn’t have to be scary, it’s what you make of it. “Most people just want to have someone in their life who loves them, cares about them, is supportive, fun to be with, interesting to talk to and shares their goals,” she says. “That’s what dating is all about – the search to hopefully find someone with whom you can joyfully and happily spend your later years. You may not find them right away, but the journey through dating while you’re searching can be fun and exciting, and make ageing a fascinating adventure.” With that in mind, here are some tips from Valerie Gibson to get you comfortable with the idea of dating at any age. Dating later While dating is a universal and timeless experience for everyone, it can be different depending on your age. In your 20s and 30s, dating is young, passionate, romantic, and carries the prospect of a long-term relationship leading to marriage. “The pleasure of dating in your later years is that dating is a little more low-key and less energetic, but can be much more meaningful and have a lot of depth and satisfaction, and often a lot of commitment. “Both parties have had relationships/marriages and are well aware of what they want now in a personal connection. Although dating at these lovely ages may not have the same wildfire of that in your 20s and 30s (which can burn out quickly at times), meeting someone new and dating them can be just as exciting at a later age as it was when you were much younger.” However, she adds that a lot depends on your positive attitude, youthful spirit and health as to whether later dating works for you. First date jitters affect everyone One thing that affects singles, no matter their age, is a feeling of nervousness when meeting someone for the first time, particularly on a first date! It can be an intimidating experience, particularly if you haven’t done this in a good 20 to 30 years. The best way forward is to leave your expectations at the door and simply enjoy the experience of meeting and learning about a new person when on your date. Relax, enjoy yourself, learn about the other person and ask questions. “Most people are nervous at that first meeting and often trying too hard to impress. It usually eases on the second date and contrary to most opinions “chemistry” is not necessarily there immediately – it can grow.” If you don’t feel like it’s a good match from the get-go, however, when the time comes politely exit. Always treat people how you would like to be treated in similar circumstances. Winning conversation Whether you’re on a first date or not, there are a few topics you should steer clear of when meeting a person for the first time. It’s generally agreed that religion and politics are no-go zones, since these subjects are too inflammatory and divisive, and certain to make sure there isn’t another date. “I always tell people to not pour out all of their previous problems with their dates, marriages or relationships on the first date, especially any horror stories of your last ex. A person wants to know a little about you and who you are but not your complete life history and all of your life’s disappointments. “Keep it light and basically informative, discuss subjects such as music, books, movies, your travels, food and wine, hobbies, and you can also find out whether you have interests in common which is important.” It’s a digital world The dating game has changed quite a bit over the years, mostly with the arrival of the internet. Meeting someone online through a dating website has become one of the most popular ways where people are now searching for Mr or Mrs Right, particularly singles in their 50s and 60s. “There’s no question that online dating has become the most popular way of meeting someone when you’re over 60. The biggest growing demographic for online dating sites are people 50-plus. “It’s because it can be done from the comfort of your home, there’s some controllable privacy and anonymity to it which older people find reassuring and protective, and it’s the only way to meet hundreds, if not thousands, of other singles in your age group who you would never meet in everyday life – all at the click of a key.” Valerie warns that while there are genuine people looking for love online, you may unfortunately come across others who are not so genuine. Be cautious and if in doubt, ask a friend or family member for advice. While online dating is one great way to meet a partner, other options include through mutual friends, volunteering, joining clubs and groups, taking classes and basically, just getting out and mingling with people. “You’ll never meet someone sitting at home.” Be informed about the new world For those looking to start meeting new people and go on dates, the best way to prepare yourself is to learn as much about the new world of dating as you can. Read books, ask friends (even talk to your children if they’re dating!), do some research and get yourself ready both emotionally and physically. “Always remember you have been through a lot in your life and dating isn’t life threatening after all! Make up your mind that you’re going to enjoy it and enjoy the people you meet, whether or not they are Mr or Mrs Right or someone who fits your long list of requirements. “The people you meet are also probably nervous, just like you, and also looking for someone they might like, can get along with, possibly fall in love with and maybe share their life with or maybe just to share some good times!”

Relationships

A dating coach’s guide to making a lasting impression with that special someone

Monica Parikh is a lawyer, writer, and dating coach. She started the <a href="http://www.schooloflovenyc.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener">School of Love in New York City</a> to help men and women develop happier and healthier relationships. When my ex-husband disappeared, I unexpectedly got divorced at 36 years old. I went back on the dating market--after a 10-year hiatus. Flirting was the best tool in my arsenal (besides an optimistic attitude). Before long, I was meeting men in all sorts of places—the subway, elevators, the gym, and airports. In my coaching practice, I often see women and men who have forgotten how to flirt. Oh, the pity! Flirting adds spicy intrigue to the mundane. If you’re single, it’s a wonderful way to signal availability and interest. If you’re in a relationship, it helps maintain spark and fuels passion. A little simple flirting says to the world, “I’m alive!” Flirtation is simply the art of conversation amped up a notch. I’ve always been a good flirt, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become a better—mostly because I’ve grown in confidence and self-esteem. A few key tips: 1. Radiate strength Naked selfies aren’t sexy. Neither is telling your life story on a first date. Real sexiness stems from the ability to tickle the imagination and create intrigue. Less exhibitionism, fewer words, and more confidence fuel desire. 2. Smile Smile big and often — it lights up your face and says that you’re approachable and warm. It is the green light that gives others confidence to approach you and start conversation. 3. Be playfully combative When we’re attracted to someone, we often veer toward being overly agreeable and conciliatory. Talk about throwing cold water on a spark! Being challenging, feisty, and a bit unpredictable (while still being nice) is very sexy. My partner and I often playfully spar with words. Intelligent banter makes for a very flirtatious (and fun) relationship. 4. Create an air of mystery When I was single, a stranger on an elevator once offered to walk me to the subway with his umbrella during a rainstorm. When we arrived, he asked for my number. I demurred, saying that I don’t talk to strangers. (Wink.) He offered his card. I took it but made no promises. He was handsome and charismatic, so I knew he was used to having women chase him. I waited several days (to build intrigue) and sent him a one-sentence email. He responded immediately, admitting that he checked his email constantly for word from me. Not knowing where the other person stands fuels desire. So, hold your cards close to your chest. 5. Laugh We’re all a little too serious. Take a ribbing. Give a ribbing. Laugh until your sides ache. Dating and romance are supposed to be fun, after all. 6. Tap into your feminine (or masculine) energy I have a serious job as a lawyer during the day, so I make deliberate efforts to tap into my softer side after work. I often go home, take a bath and change clothes before a date. I love jewel-colored dresses, red lipstick, and French perfume. This little ritual “washes” the 9-to-5 off me and helps me tap into a different energy/vibration. Each person’s formula is unique, but spend time figuring out the clothing, style, and rituals that bring about the most authentic and empowered you. 7. Ask questions Conversation with a stranger can be daunting. My advice? Show interest in your beloved’s work, hobbies, family, and interests. Sit back and relax while they open up. You will glean key insights. And I guarantee they will remember you as an amazing conversationalist while they have performed the bulk of the work. 8. Say a person's name — often My game changed for the better after reading Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. While technically not a dating book, it’s a wonderful guide on how to be a more engaging person. Carnegie says that someone's name is "to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” Pay attention when someone introduces themselves. Repeat their name back immediately. Sprinkle it throughout conversation. Be amazed at the result. 9. Show warmth Gently touching someone’s hand or back is a wonderful way to show interest. Be respectful of another person’s space. It’s not about draping yourself all over them (or being clingy), which is a big turn-off. It’s about small signals of interest, respectfully scattered here and there. 10. Be original Successful flirting is about being 100 percent you. Personally, I’m an extroverted nerd who loves the public library, backpacking through Asia, Wes Anderson films, and 1970's soul music. Don’t be afraid to stand out from the crowd. Accept that what makes you unique also makes you memorable. That is the most powerful vibrational frequency you can live in — and one that will surely attract an ideal partner. Images: Getty

Relationships

“Surely a baby can’t do that”: Fitness guru stuns fans

British fitness coach has left fans shocked after posting a photo of his seven-month-old hanging from a pull-up bar. The fitness guru, and founder of the popular fitness app The Body Coach, posted a series of sweet snaps to his Instagram of a recent family holiday to California, USA. The photo has gained a lot of traction online among his 4.6 million followers. The image shows baby Leny dressed in a white onesie dangling from a tall monkey bar at the beach while Wicks looks on proudly. <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Cq3C-ywLb6k/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Cq3C-ywLb6k/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Joe Wicks (@thebodycoach)</a> </div> </blockquote> Many followers were concerned about Leni, calling out the dad-of-three for such a “risky” pose. "Jesus, is the first pic photoshopped?" wrote one follower. "How is the first pic even possible?!" asked another. "Surely a baby can't do that?” Another added, ”Is that safe for her shoulders and joints to hang onto bars supporting her own weight like that? "Please don't do that to your baby. She would be frightened," wrote a fourth, sparking a debate in the comment section. "She doesn't look fine to me and a lot of people agree. This is cruel and would instinctually cause fear in the baby. If you think that's OK you are a cruel person.” Some were impressed by the “super baby”, taken back by her strength for her age and defended Wicks against his critics. "That first picture of Leni is amazing! You need to recreate that every year!" wrote one follower. "I love how you let them take risks.” "Your kids have iron man genes," another added. "Wow Leni is strong holding on to the monkey bars, that's brilliant.” Those that came to the dad’s defence reminded critics that the baby would not have been there for long. "My babies/toddlers could all do this when they were young. It was only for a few seconds. We were there ready to catch them," one said. "It is called the palmar grasp reflex and it is normal for babies," wrote another. A child gymnastics company, Little Gym UK also came to the dad’s defence, saying, "For those questioning if it's photoshopped, our classes start at four months and babies can absolutely grasp and hang this little.” While it’s no myth newborns do have a grasp reflex and the grip is often “strong enough to hold the baby’s entire weight”, experts do not advise picking up or swinging a toddler by their arms as it can lead to a common injury called Nursemaid’s elbow. Wicks has two other children with his wife Rosie, Indie, four, and Marley, three. Image credit: Instagram

Body

Dating 101: what to wear on a date

Dating and meeting new people are by no means all about looks and what you wear. However, not only will investing a little time in what you wear on a date make you look good, it will also make you feel good and put a positive spring in your step. Firstly, when pondering your outfit for a first date it’s worth keeping in mind that it’s always best to be on the smarter, slightly over-dressed side rather than under dressed. Presenting yourself well is worth it. If you turn up looking like you've just rolled out of bed, you're not likely to make a great first impression. And first impressions count. Here are some wardrobe pointers when deciding on what to wear on a first date: Set the scene One of the most important considerations to keep in mind when selecting an outfit for a date is, where are you going, what will you be doing and what are others there likely to be wearing. It is also worthwhile seeing if there’s a dress code for the venue. You can usually find this on the website for the place or by giving them a quick call. A successful date will come from you feeling comfortable, so it’s important you don’t look, or feel, out of place. For example, you don’t want to wear a suit to a casual, laid-back dinner spot. Or, don running shoes to a fancy restaurant or bar. Fitting in with your surroundings will make you feel comfortable and allow you to relax. Don’t make things more nerve-wracking than they already are. Confidence-boosting ensembles You’d be surprised just how powerful clothes can be in making you feel great. So opt for something you feel good in, as your outfit will impact how confident and natural you feel as well as your comfort levels while on a date. And this works both ways – you’ll want to ensure everything you opt for fits you well and isn’t uncomfortable. New shoes will give you blisters, a top a size too small will make you feel squeezed in, a woollen jumper could overheat your body – all of these things will show in your body language and mood. It’s a good idea to select something that you've worn before and you know makes you feel fantastic as well as attractive. Finishing touches The little finishing touches – like an accessory, a splash of perfume and looking fresh – are not be underestimated. If you’ve had a busy day and you’re going straight from one place to a date, take the time to freshen up – use deodorant, have a breath mint, spritz on a scent and tidy up your hair and outfit. Looking fresh and crisp will help impress your date, but furthermore, feeling fresh will energise you. Images: Getty

Beauty & Style

Is the secret to a happy relationship knowing when to shut up?

Conventional relationship wisdom says to speak your mind, and not to bottle anything up. That usually translates to talking (or shouting) it out with your spouse ‘til the wee hours of the night until the problem is solved or you both agree to disagree. But keeping silent may be the secret to a long-lasting relationship new research has revealed. A study in the Journal of Marriage and Family observed the interactions of 127 middle-aged and older couple, finding the longer couples had been together, the less willing they were to risk getting into heated arguments over petty matters. Instead, years of experience guided them to adopt “peacekeeping” strategies before arguments eventuated. This included changing the subject or “shutting up” when partners were angry or upset. This passive behaviour is traditionally believed to be damaging to relationships but psychologists are increasingly seeing it as the key to success for many unions. For older couples particularly who’ve had decades to air grievances such avoidance techniques were a successful way of keeping the peace. Researchers studied the 127 couples over a 13-year period by analysing recordings of couple’s discussions on sensitive topics such as the housework and finances. They were particularly interested in forms of communication known as “demand-withdraw pattern,” where one person makes demands and in response the other chooses to withdraw from the interaction. This form of communication typically leads to a complete withdrawal or further escalation of the fight, however, researchers noticed that the older the couple, both would successfully adopt these avoidance tactics. “It may be that both age and marital duration play a role in increased avoidance,” said the study’s lead author Dr Sarah Holley from San Francisco State University. Dr Holley explained that the older people were and the longer they had been married, the less importance they placed on “being right” (or arguing that they were right) and sought positive experiences instead. But it’s not to say the stereotype of “nagging wife, silent husband” is correct as researchers noted both men and women used these withdrawal tactics and similar patterns were found in a previous study between same-sex couples. Related links: <a href="../lifestyle/dating/2015/01/garden-saved-marriage/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Read one man’s story of how his garden saved his marriage</a> <a href="../lifestyle/dating/2014/08/whats-love-got-to-do-with-it/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Love can mean different things to different people</a> <a href="../lifestyle/dating/2014/08/budget-friendly-date-ideas/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Budget-friendly date ideas</a> Image credit: Shutterstock

Relationships

10 romantic lines from literature

It’s time to get sentimental with these lines about love from literature’s greatest authors. 1. “You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you.” – Persuasion by Jane Austen 2. “To love or have loved, that is enough. Ask nothing further. There is no other pearl to be found in the dark folds of life.” – Les Misérables by Victor Hugo 3. “Whatever the souls are made of, his and mine are same.” – Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte 4. “You and I, it’s as though we have been taught to kiss in heaven and sent down to earth together, to see if we know what we were taught.” – Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak 5. “When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are to become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No ... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it? But it is!" – Captain Corelli's Mandolin by Louis de Bernières 6. “I have waited for this opportunity for more than half a century, to repeat to you once again my vow of eternal fidelity and everlasting love.” – Love In The Time Of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez 7. “He stepped down, trying not to look long at her, as if she were the sun, yet he saw her, like the sun, even without looking.” – Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy 8. "All this gladness in life, all honest pride in doing my work in the world, all this keen sense of being, I owe to her!" And it doubles the gladness, it makes the pride glow, it sharpens the sense of existence till I hardly know if it is pain or pleasure, to think that I owe it to one - nay, you must, you shall hear" - said he, stepping forwards with stern determination - "to one whom I love, as I do not believe man ever loved woman before." – North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell 9. “You know what I am going to say. I love you. What other men may mean when they use that expression, I cannot tell; what I mean is, that I am under the influence of some tremendous attraction which I have resisted in vain, and which overmasters me. You could draw me to fire, you could draw me to water, you could draw me to the gallows, you could draw me to any death, you could draw me to anything I have most avoided, you could draw me to any exposure and disgrace. This and the confusion of my thoughts, so that I am fit for nothing, is what I mean by your being the ruin of me. But if you would return a favourable answer to my offer of myself in marriage, you could draw me to any good - every good - with equal force.” – Our Mutual Friend by Charles Dickens 10. “It is better to love wisely, no doubt: but to love foolishly is better than not to be able to love at all.” – Vanity Fair by William Makepeace Thackeray Image credits: Getty Images

Books

93-year-old grandma shares her blunt dating advice with the world

A 93-year-old woman from the United States has reached viral heights on social media with her frank dating advice for singles around the world - particularly when it comes to which men she thinks it best to avoid. In a series she calls ‘Red Flags for Guys’, Lillian Droniak has educated - and entertained - her audiences, warning them off of everyone from those who won’t open doors to those who won’t provide regular compliments, don’t have soup on hand, and don’t like bingo. In a later entry, she expanded on her own list, declaring that those who lie about their height, those who are water signs, anyone with a name starting with the letter J, plays golf, and don’t like cats are major red flags in the romantic department. “If he doesn't like bingo, I don't date him because I love bingo,” she explained. “If he doesn't keep enough soup for me in the refrigerator. I always like soup and eat soup … if he doesn't call me pretty all the time, I don't want anything to do with him.” <div class="embed" style="font-size: 16px; box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; outline: none !important;"><iframe class="embedly-embed" style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border-width: 0px; border-style: initial; vertical-align: baseline; width: 620.262px; max-width: 100%; outline: none !important;" title="tiktok embed" src="https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2Fembed%2Fv2%2F7187092528930327850&display_name=tiktok&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2F%40grandma_droniak%2Fvideo%2F7187092528930327850%3Flang%3Den&image=https%3A%2F%2Fp16-sign.tiktokcdn-us.com%2Fobj%2Ftos-useast5-p-0068-tx%2F0185552c26ef45e9a4155e25fdc88e95_1673375409%3Fx-expires%3D1680606000%26x-signature%3D2Bbvh8va4bNkeTSlql8fJ3xRfnU%253D&key=59e3ae3acaa649a5a98672932445e203&type=text%2Fhtml&schema=tiktok" width="340" height="700" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></div> As Lillian told Good Morning America of her decision to launch her account, she gives her advice because she’s already been through it, and that the next generation “are maybe too young to think about it. “I was bashful when I was young. And now I’m too much trouble sometimes.” And while Lillian is happy to dish out her advice, it isn’t without some personal experience. The grandmother has also been open with her followers about her own journey back into the realm of dating, even sharing a clip of her preparing for an upcoming date after 25 years without embarking on one. “My first date in 25 years and he's going to pick me up in 20 minutes,” she said. “I'm getting nervous now. I met him at bingo and that's the way it goes. “He's really handsome and I couldn't say no ... I might kiss him, you never know but I'm going to still put lipstick on just in case.” "If he doesn't like it, he could leave,” she explained, after showcasing her outfit for the camera, “all I want is a free dinner. “I'm not even going to bring my wallet or my purse. I'll let you know how it goes.” <div class="embed" style="font-size: 16px; box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; outline: none !important;"><iframe class="embedly-embed" style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border-width: 0px; border-style: initial; vertical-align: baseline; width: 620.262px; max-width: 100%; outline: none !important;" title="tiktok embed" src="https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2Fembed%2Fv2%2F7197847511887858986&display_name=tiktok&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2F%40grandma_droniak%2Fvideo%2F7197847511887858986%3Flang%3Den&image=https%3A%2F%2Fp16-sign.tiktokcdn-us.com%2Fobj%2Ftos-useast5-p-0068-tx%2F3958e1d1760c44539a23ef404b267a18_1675879484%3Fx-expires%3D1680606000%26x-signature%3DkHJqxjdpR2WgDEE6KGU%252FWFxlSWw%253D&key=59e3ae3acaa649a5a98672932445e203&type=text%2Fhtml&schema=tiktok" width="340" height="700" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></div> Unfortunately, it wasn’t destined to work out for Lillian and her would-be partner, as she later returned to inform everyone that she “just got back from my date and it was no good. “He didn't even look at my outfit and say that it looks pretty. He was rude to the waiter, he was just a rude person. He didn't even hold the door for me like a gentleman should. “Bottom line he wasn't a gentleman, not my type. And he was shorter than me.” Images: TikTok

Relationships

Rebel Wilson’s criminal save

While Rebel Wilson has found her forever love with designer Ramona Agruma, it took overcoming a few bumps in the dating road to get there. Speaking on the U Up? podcast, the Pitch Perfect star revealed one of the more notable dating near-disasters she experienced, and how it was her castmates who saved her. “I did go out with one guy I nicknamed ‘The Criminal’,” she told hosts Jordana Abraham and Jared Freid. “I think he was like a legit criminal. Basically, the Pitch Perfect girls saved me from that one.” She went on to explain that her co-stars had managed to find out “some s**t on the internet” about the guy, and warned her to steer clear of the man. She had, apparently, met him on the set of another production. Suspicion arose for them when the man agreed to come to New York to spend the weekend with Rebel, but refused to share the details of his flight with her. Upon pressing him for an explanation, the man confessed that he was not allowed to fly across state lines as he was “under investigation”. And while the relationship had been a “casual thing, so I [Rebel] didn’t get too deep into that situation”, she added that she felt the need to let him down “easy” as she didn’t want to put herself at risk with an alleged criminal. It wasn’t the only story that Rebel chose to share during her appearance, with the 43-year-old also opening up about how she’d actually been “dumped” by a woman before crossing paths with fiancée Ramona Agruma - with whom she shares daughter Royce Lillian. “I met a woman and had, like, feelings for her, which totally came as a blindside,” Rebel admitted. “It wasn’t what I was expecting.” “I said the words, ‘I don’t want to offend you, but are you interested in women?’ “I’ve never had a conversation like that [before] because I was dating dudes and never had to talk about sexuality. “She was like, ‘I have feelings for you as well’.” She noted that it was difficult for her to put her feelings into words, but that time they had together was “very important” to her, and that she wouldn’t be naming her partner out of respect. Things obviously “didn’t end up going anywhere”, but the relationship helped her open up to her sexuality, and she met Ramona soon after. And the rest, as they say, is romantic history. Images: Getty

Relationships

Woman matches with brother on dating app

A woman who took the plunge and dived back into the world of dating apps, despite a series of negative experiences, has been left in shock after an unexpected match. Dani, who was using the dating app Hinge - “the app that’s designed to be deleted” - took to TikTok to share her story, telling followers she re-downloaded the app and told herself "let's get back into this.” "And I could vomit at who my most compatible was," she said before revealing a bizarre match. "So this is my brother," she explained, panning the camera back to show her brother Jordan’s profile on Hinge. "Super cute right? Yeah. It runs in the family.” Dani explained that Hinge matched her with her brother due to their “compatibility”. "I don't know if he is the one for me. I mean I guess we are compatible in the sense we share the same parents and shelter growing up and like blood and DNA and all those fun things. "Hinge was really saying to me, 'Girl, I know more for you. We're done with you. Here's your brother. Why don't you try this one out.” At the end of her video, she recommended her brother as a match to any unrelated singles. "While I go pick up my vomit that's on the floor from this, my brother's single, if any ladies out there are interested, just let me know.” The video amused fellow TikTokers, gaining a lot of traction with over 373,000 views. "Most compatible for a blood transfusion maybe," one wrote. "LMAO even Hinge was like girl there's nothing out there, have you tried your family," said another. Image credit: TikTok

Family & Pets

Body language expert reveals three major turn off signs

In the age of online dating and social distancing, many have fallen out of practise with the art of reading body language. But have no fear, whether you’re brand new to the world of dating or dipping your toes back in, an expert in the matter has shared her tips and tricks on how to tell you’re giving someone the ‘ick’. Professional counsellor and psychotherapist Adrianne Carter took to her <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@adriannefacewhisperer?lang=en" target="_blank" rel="noopener">popular TikTok account</a> - where she regularly shares such advice - to teach her audience what she believed would best help them in their pursuit of love, and in avoiding an uninterested other half. Adrianne launched into her all important list by informing listeners that the first sign someone can show they aren’t interested is by creating distance. She explained how they might simply lean away, or even move something - like a menu on a dinner date - to create a physical barrier. “A really simple rule for dates,” she said, “is when someone is leaning in, getting closer to you, it’s probably going well.” Next up, and perhaps one of the most obvious signs that many will miss, is their facial expression. “Generally when someone is giving you the ick you will be scrunching up your nose slightly,” Adrianne explained. “When someone doesn’t like someone or has the ick, you will see that nose wrinkling in disgust. “There will be lots of those expressions, but short flashes of them, it won’t be obvious, but if you look for the signs they will be there.” And circling back to her first point, she added, “when we are interested in someone, we lean in. If someone doesn’t like you, or doesn’t fancy you, they are more likely to make more space between you and them.” “Use it as a warning from your body,” she advised. “If I lean back I am not interested in them - your body will always tell you.” Adrianne’s third sign comes in the form of eye contact. “Creating lasting eye contact is important,” she stated, before noting that it’s equally as important not to give too much, and people should be aiming for anywhere between 60 to 70 per cent. “If you do more that can become too intense and aggressive,” was her reason. “It comes across a bit needy like you are waiting for a reaction.” On a related note, she mentioned that prospective daters are likely to try their hand at ‘peacocking’, participating in the act of wearing or doing something extravagant in a bid to be noticed. Something like playing with your hair, or rolling up your sleeves, can be a sure sign that you’re trying to grab someone’s attention, and vice versa. Another move someone might pull to let you know they’d like a second date? The “eyebrow flash”, as Adrianne calls it. “If you want to know if someone likes you and they’re not giving you constant eye contact, watch for this,” she said. “A double eye flash is where someone looks away, looks again and looks again. It is very revealing, it means the person is interested.” She noted that this last manoeuvre isn’t limited just to dating, with people likely to see it in all areas of their life to demonstrate interest, and that like all good things, it should be accompanied with a smile. Images: Getty

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Body language expert reveals three major turn off signs