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Having the ‘right’ friends may hold the secret to building wealth, according to new study on socioeconomic ties

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/brad-cannon-2216202">Brad Cannon</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/binghamton-university-state-university-of-new-york-2252">Binghamton University, State University of New York</a></em></p> <p>Having wealthy people in your social network significantly boosts the likelihood that you’ll participate in stock markets and savings plans, according to a new working paper I co-authored.</p> <p>My colleagues and I <a href="https://www.nber.org/system/files/working_papers/w32186/w32186.pdf">recently conducted research</a> on social finance to understand the ways in which social networks affect stock market participation and savings behavior. This is important because a substantial fraction of households in the U.S., particularly <a href="https://www.axios.com/2023/10/18/percentage-americans-own-stock-market-investing">lower-income families, do not own stocks</a>.</p> <p>Given that the total return to the U.S. stock market from 1980 through September 2024 has been over 12,000% – for example, US$1,000 <a href="https://ofdollarsanddata.com/sp500-calculator/">invested in the S&P 500</a> in 1980 would be worth $121,350 today – this creates a disparity in wealth for those who participate relative to those who do not. Understanding why some people invest and others don’t is important for addressing social concerns such as rising inequality.</p> <p>In our study, we looked at <a href="https://academic.oup.com/ej/advance-article/doi/10.1093/ej/ueae074/7720537">social capital</a>, which is a measure of the value that comes from being in a group or having dense social networks. Researchers have found that social capital can have positive impacts on individuals and communities, spurring innovation, <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-022-04996-4">economic prosperity</a> and better health outcomes. We used friendship data from Facebook to measure different aspects of social networks by county in the U.S. We combined this data with tax information from the Internal Revenue Service about investments and savings.</p> <p>We found that in counties where friendships with prosperous individuals are more common, investment and savings tend to be higher. Moreover, we found that having these friendships with wealthy individuals plays a more important role in shaping financial behaviors than two other aspects of social capital we looked at in our study: having a tight group of friends and living in a community with strong civic engagement.</p> <p>Of course, making wealthy friends alone does not guarantee you’ll invest or save more. But perhaps knowing people who invest makes it less daunting and fraught, particularly if those friends can serve as a resource and sounding board.</p> <p><em>“Friends with Benefits: Social Capital and Household Financial Behavior” was co-authored by <a href="https://www.marshall.usc.edu/personnel/david-hirshleifer">David Hirshleifer</a> and <a href="https://hankamer.baylor.edu/person/joshua-thornton">Joshua Thornton</a>.</em><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/239370/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/brad-cannon-2216202">Brad Cannon</a>, Assistant Professor of Finance, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/binghamton-university-state-university-of-new-york-2252">Binghamton University, State University of New York</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/having-the-right-friends-may-hold-the-secret-to-building-wealth-according-to-new-study-on-socioeconomic-ties-239370">original article</a>.</em></p>

Money & Banking

Deborra-Lee Furness' friend makes bombshell claim

<p>A friend of Hugh Jackman’s ex-wife, Deborra-Lee Furness, has claimed that rumours of the actor's affair with co-star Sutton Foster are true. </p> <p>British actress and photographer Amanda de Cadenet hinted that the rumours were true in the comments section of an Instagram video that alleged Hugh Jackman left his wife for Foster, after the two fell in love while starring together in <em>The Music Man </em>on Broadway. </p> <p>“You are on point with this one,” de Cadenet claimed in response. “My beloved friend Deb is about to have her glow up any moment FYI !”</p> <p><em>Page Six</em> reportedly reached out to reps for Jackman, Foster and Furness for comment.</p> <p>Jackman and Furness announced their separation after 27 years of marriage in September 2023. </p> <p>They share two adopted children together. </p> <p>At the time, a source told the publication that the <em>Wolverine</em> actor was "devastated" by the split. </p> <p>In October, another source told Page Six that Foster and Jackman are "in love" but keeping their romance under wraps. </p> <p>Another source previously told news.co,.au they are “100 percent together and are in love and want to spend the rest of their lives together.”</p> <p><em>Image: Instagram</em></p> <p> </p>

Relationships

Your friend has been diagnosed with cancer. Here are 6 things you can do to support them

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/stephanie-cowdery-2217734">Stephanie Cowdery</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/anna-ugalde-2232654">Anna Ugalde</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/trish-livingston-163686">Trish Livingston</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/victoria-white-1888110">Victoria White</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a></em></p> <p>Across the world, <a href="https://www.who.int/news/item/01-02-2024-global-cancer-burden-growing--amidst-mounting-need-for-services">one in five</a> people are diagnosed with cancer during their lifetime. By age 85, almost <a href="https://www.cancer.org.au/cancer-information/what-is-cancer/facts-and-figures">one in two</a> Australians will be diagnosed with cancer.</p> <p>When it happens to someone you care about, it can be hard to know what to say or how to help them. But providing the right support to a friend can make all the difference as they face the emotional and physical challenges of a new diagnosis and treatment.</p> <p>Here are six ways to offer meaningful support to a friend who has been diagnosed with cancer.</p> <h2>1. Recognise and respond to emotions</h2> <p>When facing a cancer diagnosis and treatment, it’s normal to experience a range of <a href="https://www.canceraustralia.gov.au/impacted-by-cancer/emotions#:%7E:text=It's%20likely%20that%20feelings%20will,these%20feelings%20ease%20with%20time">emotions</a> including fear, anger, grief and sadness. Your friend’s moods may fluctuate. It is also common for feelings to <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00520-014-2492-9">change over time</a>, for example your friend’s anxiety may decrease, but they may feel more depressed.</p> <p>Some friends may want to share details while others will prefer privacy. Always ask permission to raise sensitive topics (such as changes in physical appearance or their thoughts regarding fears and anxiety) and don’t make assumptions. It’s OK to tell them you feel awkward, as this acknowledges the challenging situation they are facing.</p> <p>When they feel comfortable to talk, follow their lead. Your support and willingness <a href="https://www.cancervic.org.au/get-support/stories/what-to-say-and-not-say.html">to listen without judgement</a> can provide great comfort. You don’t have to have the answers. Simply acknowledging what has been said, providing your full attention and being present for them will be a great help.</p> <h2>2. Understand their diagnosis and treatment</h2> <p><a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/pon.4722">Understanding</a> your friend’s diagnosis and what they’ll go through when being <a href="https://www.cancer.org/cancer/caregivers/what-a-caregiver-does/treatment-timeline.html">treated</a> may be helpful.</p> <p>Being informed can reduce your own worry. It may also help you to listen better and reduce the amount of explaining your friend has to do, especially when they’re tired or overwhelmed.</p> <p>Explore reputable sources such as the <a href="https://www.cancer.org.au/">Cancer Council website</a> for accurate information, so you can have meaningful conversations. But keep in mind your friend has a trusted medical team to offer personalised and accurate advice.</p> <h2>3. Check in regularly</h2> <p>Cancer treatment can be isolating, so regular check-ins, texts, calls or visits can help your friend feel less alone.</p> <p>Having a normal conversation and sharing a joke can be very welcome. But everyone copes with cancer differently. Be patient and flexible in your support – some days will be harder for them than others.</p> <p>Remembering key dates – such as the next round of chemotherapy – can help your friend feel supported. Celebrating milestones, including the end of treatment or anniversary dates, may boost morale and remind your friend of positive moments in their cancer journey.</p> <p>Always ask if it’s a good time to visit, as your friend’s immune system <a href="https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/what-is-cancer/body-systems-and-cancer/the-immune-system-and-cancer#:%7E:text=to%20fight%20cancer-,Cancer%20and%20treatments%20may%20weaken%20immunity,high%20dose%20of%20steroids">may be compromised</a> by their cancer or treatments such as chemotherapy or radiotherapy. If you’re feeling unwell, it’s best to postpone visits – but they may still appreciate a call or text.</p> <h2>4. Offer practical support</h2> <p>Sometimes the best way to show your care is through practical support. There may be different ways to offer help, and what your friend needs might change at the beginning, during and after treatment.</p> <p>For example, you could offer to pick up prescriptions, drive them to appointments so they have transport and company to debrief, or wait with them at appointments.</p> <p>Meals will always be welcome. However it’s important to remember cancer and its treatments may <a href="https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/treatment/side-effects/nutrition#effects-of-cancer-treatment-on-nutrition">affect</a> taste, smell and appetite, as well as your friend’s ability to eat enough or absorb nutrients. You may want to check first if there are particular foods they like. <a href="https://www.cancervic.org.au/downloads/resources/booklets/nutrition-cancer.pdf">Good nutrition</a> can help boost their strength while dealing with the side effects of treatment.</p> <p>There may also be family responsibilities you can help with, for example, babysitting kids, grocery shopping or taking care of pets.</p> <h2>5. Explore supports together</h2> <p>Studies <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35834503/">have shown</a> mindfulness practices can be an effective way for people to manage anxiety associated with a cancer diagnosis and its treatment.</p> <p>If this is something your friend is interested in, it may be enjoyable to explore classes (either online or in-person) together.</p> <p>You may also be able to help your friend connect with organisations that provide emotional and practical help, such as the Cancer Council’s <a href="https://www.cancer.org.au/support-and-services/cancer-council-13-11-20">support line</a>, which offers free, confidential information and support for anyone affected by cancer, including family, friends and carers.</p> <p><a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/5659099_Systematic_review_of_peer-support_programs_for_people_with_cancer">Peer support groups</a> can also reduce your friend’s feelings of isolation and foster shared understanding and empathy with people who’ve gone through a similar experience. GPs <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34333571/">can help</a> with referrals to support programs.</p> <h2>6. Stick with them</h2> <p>Be committed. Many people feel <a href="https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11120751/">isolated</a> after their treatment. This may be because regular appointments have reduced or stopped – which can feel like losing a safety net – or because their relationships with others have changed.</p> <p>Your friend may also experience emotions such as worry, lack of confidence and uncertainty as they adjust to a <a href="https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/coping/survivorship/new-normal">new way of living</a> after their treatment has ended. This will be an important time to support your friend.</p> <p>But don’t forget: looking after <a href="https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/caring-for-someone-with-cancer">yourself</a> is important too. Making sure you eat well, sleep, exercise and have emotional support will help steady you through what may be a challenging time for you, as well as the friend you love.</p> <p><a href="https://www.deakin.edu.au/faculty-of-health/research/cancer-carer-hub">Our research</a> team is developing new programs and resources to support carers of people who live with cancer. While it can be a challenging experience, it can also be immensely rewarding, and your small acts of kindness can make a big difference.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/239844/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/stephanie-cowdery-2217734">Stephanie Cowdery</a>, Research Fellow, Carer Hub: A Centre of Excellence in Cancer Carer Research, Translation and Impact, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/anna-ugalde-2232654">Anna Ugalde</a>, Associate Professor & Victorian Cancer Agency Fellow, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/trish-livingston-163686">Trish Livingston</a>, Distinguished Professor & Director of Special Projects, Faculty of Health, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/victoria-white-1888110">Victoria White</a>, Professor of Pyscho-Oncology, School of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/your-friend-has-been-diagnosed-with-cancer-here-are-6-things-you-can-do-to-support-them-239844">original article</a>.</em></p>

Caring

Readers response: What celebrity do you think would make a great friend, and why?

<p>When it comes to celebrities, everyone has their favourites, their crushes, and those they'd rather steer clear of. </p> <p>We asked our readers what celebrity they think they would be good friends with, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. </p> <p><strong>Judy Yannopoulos</strong> - Keanu Reeves. A true honest person with a good heart.</p> <p><strong>Jenny Maclean</strong> - Steven Fry. He’s honest and kind and so very intelligent.</p> <p><strong>Jeff-Lyn Bloom</strong> - Tom Hanks. He is so down to earth. Doesn’t put on airs.</p> <p><strong>Jan Totti</strong> - John Farnham, because he’s down to earth and there’s no pretences. He seems just a lovely honest person. He’s an amazing Australian singer.</p> <p><strong>Caz McDougall</strong> - Michael Sheen and David Tennant.</p> <p><strong>Karen Maberly</strong> - Judi Dench. Seems like a good communicator, sharp mind and full of fun, and not full of herself!!</p> <p><strong>Cheryl Cunningham</strong> - Denzel Washington. Totally honest and decent human.</p> <p><strong>Rhonda Moffitt</strong> - Maggie Beer. She treasures family & others. Always smiling, Maggie I think would be great company.</p> <p><strong>Lisa Drury Hudson</strong> - Audrey Hepburn, for her compassion, strength, fighting for children's rights and empathy. What a loss.</p> <p><strong>Bob Wilkinson</strong> - Hugh Jackson and Chris Hemsworth as they both seem like down to earth nice people.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Relationships

Beloved Friends, Tootsie and Mr Mom star passes away

<p>Teri Garr, the beloved actress known for her iconic roles in classic films such as <em>Young Frankenstein </em>and <em>Tootsie </em>and her appearances on <em>Friends</em>, has passed away at the age of 79.</p> <p>Her death, confirmed by her publicist Heidi Schaeffer, occurred on Tuesday in Los Angeles, surrounded by family and friends. Garr's passing follows a long battle with multiple sclerosis, a condition she publicly disclosed in 2002 to raise awareness about the disease and its impact on daily life.</p> <p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">Born Terry Ann Garr in Lakewood, Ohio, in 1944, Teri grew up in a theatrical family; her father was a vaudeville performer and her mother a Rockette. This background set the stage for Garr's early career, which began as a background dancer in Elvis Presley films during the 1960s. Her breakout role came in 1974 when she starred as Inga, the charming lab assistant to Gene Wilder's character in Mel Brooks' </span><em style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">Young Frankenstein</em><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">. The film became a cornerstone of American comedy, showcasing Garr's unique blend of humour and warmth.</span></p> <p>Garr further solidified her place in cinematic history with her performance in <em>Tootsie</em> in 1982, where she portrayed the vulnerable actress friend of Dustin Hoffman’s character. This role earned her an Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actress. Critics praised her ability to balance comedy with emotional depth, with film critic Pauline Kael calling her "the funniest neurotic dizzy dame on the screen" at that time.</p> <p>Despite her success, Garr faced significant challenges due to her health. She was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis during the filming of <em>Tootsie</em>, a struggle she detailed in her memoir, <em>Speedbumps: Flooring It Through Hollywood</em>. In it, she described MS as a "sneaky disease," one that complicated her life and career but did not define it. “My body had a trick or two up its sleeve," she wrote. "A stumble here, a tingling finger there. I was trained as a dancer and knew better than to indulge the random aches and pains that visited now and then. Being a successful Hollywood actress may be challenging, but little did I know that the very body that had always been my calling card would betray me.”</p> <p>Garr became an advocate for the National Multiple Sclerosis Society, using her platform to inspire others facing similar challenges.</p> <p>Throughout her career, Garr appeared in over 140 film and TV projects. She was known for her roles in <em>Mr. Mom</em>, <em>Close Encounters of the Third Kind</em>, and various television shows including <em>Friends</em>, where she played Phoebe's birth mother. Her playful spirit and comedic timing made her a favourite among audiences and fellow actors alike.</p> <p>In recent years, Garr had limited her appearances due to health issues but remained an influential figure in Hollywood. Tributes have poured in from fans and colleagues alike, celebrating her legacy as a pioneer for women in comedy and an inspiration for those battling chronic illnesses. </p> <p>Teri Garr leaves behind a rich legacy filled with laughter and heart. She is survived by her daughter Molly O'Neil and grandson Tyryn. Her contributions to film and television will be remembered fondly by generations to come.</p> <p><em>Images: CNN \ Fox Studios</em></p>

Caring

Colin Farrell completes marathon while pushing friend in wheelchair

<p>Colin Farrell has completed the Dublin Marathon by pushing his friend in a wheelchair across the finish line. </p> <p>The 48-year-old actor ran the final 4 kilometres of the 42km race while pushing his friend Emma Fogarty, who lives with a rare skin condition, to the end of the race. </p> <p>Back home in his native Ireland, Farrell ran the marathon to raise money for DEBRA, an Irish charity supporting people who, like Fogarty, have the incurable genetic condition epidermolysis bullosa (EB) – also known as butterfly skin.</p> <p>Fogarty is Ireland's oldest surviving person with the condition, and after reaching a milestone of turning 40 in June, her and Farrell pledged to complete the race together. </p> <p>According to the<em> PA Media</em> news agency, Emma was born with a severe form of the condition, as she was born with no skin on her left foot and right arm and can develop very painful blisters from even the slightest touch.</p> <p>Farrell told <em>PA</em>, "I have known Emma for many years and she epitomises bravery, she is what courage and pure determination are all about."</p> <p>"That run was nothing compared to the pain she is forced to endure every single day, even though she doesn't show it."</p> <p>"It was an honour to see her waiting for me with 4km to go, each of those representing a decade of her life, and to do the final stretch together. I'll never forget it."</p> <p>Also speaking to <em>PA</em>, Fogarty said, "This was a dream come true for me and I want to thank Colin, who has been the most supportive, generous and loyal friend I could wish for."</p> <p>"He has always shown his compassion and empathy for people living with EB and is a true champion in my eyes. Running a marathon is never easy but once he committed to it there was no going back, he is a man of his word."</p> <p>Fogarty and Farrell originally set out to raise €400,000 ($660,000 AUD) for the charity but now aim to hit the million-euro mark ($1.6 million AUD), after the pair completed the marathon in just over four hours. </p> <p><em>Image credits: CNN</em></p>

Caring

The science of happier dogs: 5 tips to help your canine friends live their best life

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/mia-cobb-15211">Mia Cobb</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p>When you hear about “science focused on how dogs can live their best lives with us” it sounds like an imaginary job made up by a child. However, the field of <a href="https://www.rnz.co.nz/podcast/ourchangingworld?share=2ec8e0ad-5008-4b2d-ae2e-a288e2a77f50">animal welfare science is real</a> and influential.</p> <p>As our most popular animal companion and coworker, dogs are very deserving of scientific attention. In recent years we’ve learned more about <a href="https://theconversation.com/dogs-can-get-dementia-but-lots-of-walks-may-lower-the-risk-189297">how dogs are similar to people</a>, but also how they are distinctly themselves.</p> <p>We often think about how dogs help us – as companions, <a href="https://theconversation.com/meet-moss-the-detection-dog-helping-tassie-devils-find-love-142909">working as detectors</a>, and keeping us <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-owning-a-dog-good-for-your-health-238888">safe and healthy</a>. Dog-centric science helps us <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/veterinary-science/articles/10.3389/fvets.2021.666898/full">think about the world from a four-paw perspective</a> and apply this new knowledge so dogs can enjoy a good life.</p> <p>Here are five tips to keep the tails in your life wagging happily.</p> <h2>1. Let dogs sniff</h2> <p>Sniffing <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/animal-emotions/201902/allowing-dogs-sniff-helps-them-think-positively">makes dogs happier</a>. We tend to forget they live in a smell-based world because we’re so visual. Often taking the dog for a walk is our daily physical activity but we should remember it could be our dogs’ only time out of the home environment.</p> <p>Letting them have a really good sniff of that tree or post is full of satisfying information for them. It’s their nose’s equivalent of us standing at the top of a mountain and enjoying a rich, colour-soaked, sunset view.</p> <h2>2. Give dogs agency</h2> <p>Agency is a <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/veterinary-science/articles/10.3389/fvets.2023.1284869/full">hot topic in animal welfare science</a> right now. For people who lived through the frustration of strict lockdowns in the early years of COVID, it’s easy to remember how not being able to go where we wanted, or see who we wanted, when we wanted, impacted our mental health.</p> <p>We’ve now learned that <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/veterinary-science/articles/10.3389/fvets.2023.1250251/full">giving animals choice and control</a> in their lives is important for their mental wellbeing too. We can help our dogs enjoy better welfare by creating more choices and offering them control to exercise their agency.</p> <p>This might be installing a doggy door so they can go outside or inside when they like. It could be letting them decide which sniffy path to take through your local park. Perhaps it’s choosing which three toys to play with that day from a larger collection that gets rotated around. Maybe it’s putting an old blanket down in a new location where you’ve noticed the sun hits the floor for them to relax on.</p> <p>Providing choices doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive.</p> <h2>3. Recognise all dogs are individuals</h2> <p>People commonly ascribe certain personality traits to certain dog breeds. But just like us, dogs have their own personalities <a href="https://scitechdaily.com/food-vs-toys-scientists-reveal-what-dogs-truly-prefer/">and preferences</a>. Not all dogs are going to like the same things and a new dog we live with may be completely different to the last one.</p> <p>One dog might like to go to the dog park and run around with other dogs at high speed for an hour, while another dog would much rather hang out with you chewing on something in the garden.</p> <p>We can see as much <a href="https://www.science.org/content/article/your-dog-s-breed-doesn-t-determine-its-personality-study-suggests">behavioural variation within breeds as we do between them</a>. Being prepared to meet dogs where they are, as individuals, is important to their welfare.</p> <p>As well as noticing what dogs like to do as individuals, it’s important not to force dogs into situations they don’t enjoy. <a href="https://www.rspca.org.uk/adviceandwelfare/pets/dogs/behaviour/understanding">Pay attention to behaviour</a> that indicates dogs aren’t comfortable, such as looking away, licking their lips or yawning.</p> <h2>4. Respect dogs’ choice to opt out</h2> <p>Even in our homes, we can provide options if our dogs don’t want to share in every activity with us. Having a quiet place that dogs can retreat to is really important in enabling them to opt out if they want to.</p> <p>If you’re watching television loudly, it may be too much for <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/canine-corner/202407/how-good-is-a-dogs-hearing-compared-to-humans">their sensitive ears</a>. Ensure a door is open to another room so they can retreat. Some dogs might feel overwhelmed when visitors come over; giving them somewhere safe and quiet to go rather than forcing an interaction will help them cope.</p> <p>Dogs can be terrific role models for children when teaching empathy. We can demonstrate consent by letting dogs approach us for pats and depart when they want. Like seeing exotic animals perform in circuses, dressing up dogs for our own entertainment seems to have had its day. If you asked most dogs, they don’t want to wear costumes or be part of your Halloween adventures.</p> <h2>5. Opportunities for off-lead activity – safely.</h2> <p>When dogs are allowed to run off-lead, they use space differently. They tend to explore more widely and go faster than they do when walking with us on-lead. This offers them important and fun physical activity to keep them fit and healthy.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/2AchEFiDwA8?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption><span class="caption">Demonstrating how dogs walk differently when on- and off-lead.</span></figcaption></figure> <p>A recent exploration of <a href="https://pursuit.unimelb.edu.au/articles/we-checked-if-melbourne-really-is-a-dog-friendly-city">how liveable cities are for dogs</a> mapped all the designated areas for dogs to run off-leash. Doggy density ranged from one dog for every six people to one dog for every 30 people, depending on where you live.</p> <p>It also considered how access to these areas related to the annual registration fees for dogs in each government area compared, with surprising differences noted across greater Melbourne. We noted fees varied between A$37 and $84, and these didn’t relate to how many off-lead areas you could access.</p> <p>For dog-loving nations, such as Australia, helping our canine friends live their best life feels good. <a href="https://www.rnz.co.nz/national/programmes/afternoons/audio/2018957756/our-changing-world-the-science-behind-dog-welfare">Science that comes from a four-paw perspective</a> can help us reconsider our everyday interactions with dogs and influence positive changes so we can live well, together.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/236952/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/mia-cobb-15211">Mia Cobb</a>, Research Fellow, Animal Welfare Science Centre, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-science-of-happier-dogs-5-tips-to-help-your-canine-friends-live-their-best-life-236952">original article</a>.</em></p>

Family & Pets

Lost touch with someone? Reach out – your friend will likely appreciate it more than you think

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/peggy-liu-818769">Peggy Liu</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-pittsburgh-854">University of Pittsburgh</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lauren-min-1354136">Lauren Min</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-kansas-1588">University of Kansas</a></em></p> <h2>The big idea</h2> <p>The next time you wonder whether to reach out to a friend, family member, classmate or other person who’s been out of touch for a long time, go ahead and do it. According to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000402">our just-published research</a>, it’s likely they’ll appreciate it more than you think.</p> <p>In a series of 13 experiments involving over 5,900 participants, we – along with colleagues <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=0Stzf1cAAAAJ&hl=en">SoYon Rim</a> and <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=TZQefJAAAAAJ&hl=en">Kate Min</a> – wanted to investigate whether people accurately predict <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000402">how much their social contacts appreciate being reached out to</a>.</p> <p>In one experiment we conducted, college students wrote a note “to check in and say hello” to a classmate they hadn’t interacted with in a while. Then we asked them how much they thought their classmate would appreciate receiving this note.</p> <p>Next, we delivered these notes to their classmates and asked the recipients how much they appreciated receiving them.</p> <p>We found that the students who received the notes were much more appreciative of the gesture than the students who wrote them had anticipated.</p> <p>Other experiments varied the scenario by involving older adults as participants rather than college students, switching the written message to a small gift – such as cookies or coffee – and comparing how much the sender underestimated the appreciation that an emotionally distant contact would feel compared with a close contact.</p> <p>Overall they yielded the same basic finding: People tended to underestimate how much others appreciated hearing from them.</p> <p>What drives this underestimation? Our results suggest that it’s related to how little the people reaching out factor in the surprise felt by those being contacted. When we asked recipients what they focused on when indicating how appreciative they felt, they reported paying a lot of attention to their positive feelings of surprise, which were linked to how appreciative they felt.</p> <p>Comparatively, potential senders did not report focusing much on recipients’ positive feelings of surprise.</p> <p>It also mattered whether the two parties were already in a close relationship. People’s underestimations were even greater when their contact was a distant acquaintance because these recipients were especially surprised at being contacted.</p> <h2>Why it matters</h2> <p>Many people can name at least one person with whom they would like to reconnect. Taking a new job, moving to a different city, becoming a parent, or the busyness of everyday life – these are just some of the life events and circumstances that can cause people to lose touch. Then, if the desire to reconnect arises on one side, doubts may arise about whether the other person may appreciate being contacted out of the blue.</p> <p>When people consider taking the initiative to reach out, especially after a prolonged period of no contact, they may worry about being rejected. This worry might keep them from reaching out in the first place.</p> <p>Our research lessens this challenge by showing that often, these gestures will be much more appreciated than one might expect.</p> <h2>What other research is being done</h2> <p>Our findings fit within a growing stream of research examining the tendency to underestimate others’ appreciation of various social exchanges. For example, other researchers have found that people underestimate how much <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/pspa0000277">others appreciate receiving compliments</a> or <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797618772506">expressions of gratitude</a>.</p> <p>Our work adds to this area by broadening the scope of the contexts in which people underestimate how much social exchanges are appreciated. Reaching out could but need not require giving compliments or expressing gratitude – the gesture can be as simple as checking in with someone to show that one is thinking about them.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/185001/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/peggy-liu-818769">Peggy Liu</a>, Ben L. Fryrear Chair in Marketing and Associate Professor of Business Administration, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-pittsburgh-854">University of Pittsburgh</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lauren-min-1354136">Lauren Min</a>, Assistant Professor of Marketing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-kansas-1588">University of Kansas</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/lost-touch-with-someone-reach-out-your-friend-will-likely-appreciate-it-more-than-you-think-185001">original article</a>.</em></p>

Relationships

30 years of Friends: how the US sitcom became an enduring global sensation

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/richard-howells-1225412">Richard Howells</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/kings-college-london-1196">King's College London</a></em></p> <p>I have to be honest – I didn’t actually watch the first episode of the classic TV series Friends when it originally aired in the US on September 22 1994. Nor did I bother when it first turned up on British television the following spring.</p> <p>But the final instalment was a different matter. I was on a road trip in the US at the time and checked into a motel on the outskirts of Cincinnati, Ohio specially to catch the concluding episode (The Last One) on May 6 2004. Room service arrived in the nick of time. My burger and beer only fuelled my appetite for what was to come – and the anticipation of guessing what the final line would be.</p> <p>So why the big change? How did my attitude evolve from indifference in the nineties to excitedly pulling off the interstate in the noughties? The answer is key to the show’s success – and why it remains so popular today.</p> <p>Back in 1994, the initial premise of Friends seemed to lack promise. The plot revolved round six not especially interesting characters, and none of the cast was especially famous (at least to me). The show was set mainly in two adjacent apartments in Manhattan and a coffee bar called Central Perk to which the characters returned almost every episode and in which (in the best sitcom tradition) the best seats were always available. Crucially, not a lot actually happened.</p> <h2>The power of the ensemble</h2> <p>So why did it work? The first important thing is that Friends was not so much a situation comedy as a character comedy. That meant it did not need a remarkable premise or dramatic incidents to drive the show. It was an ensemble piece in which we gradually got to know the characters and the friends became our friends.</p> <p>The show was built around everyday storylines – crushes, romances and misunderstandings or maybe something as gently amusing as Ross overdoing the teeth whitener. Viewers began to identify with individual characters (<a href="https://www.buzzfeed.com/ljune/are-you-more-rachel-or-monica-from-friends-alfsqwp6hf">“are you a Monica or a Rachel?”</a>) or to take sides on the issues of the day. What, for example, are the relationship rules of being “on a break”?</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/TIK01MpwWGg?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption><span class="caption">One episode of Friends revolves around Ross (David Schwimmer) getting his teeth whitened.</span></figcaption></figure> <p>Friends was, of course, very well produced, cast and written. As it became even more successful, it survived the normally perilous inclusion of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHLaISBRmdI">celebrity guest stars</a> and – vitally – it never “jumped the shark” (industry-speak for growing out of its initial premise or building up to dramatic, but ultimately silly, plot gimmicks from which it is impossible to recover). Ultimately, and hearteningly, the six characters all remained friends.</p> <p>Beneath the professional craft and production polish of Friends, it is the concept of friendship, underscored with by the viewer’s sense of aspiration, which ultimately explains the series’ success then and now.</p> <p>One of the functions of popular culture is to provide a better imaginary world than the one we actually inhabit. In some ways this is simply compensation for the reality of the everyday: we dream of that which we do not have. It’s what the great Utopian sociologist Ernst Bloch called <a href="https://www.marxists.org/archive/bloch/hope/introduction.htm">“wishful images in the mirror”</a> – except that the mirror here is a television screen.</p> <p>The world of Monica, Rachel, Joey, Chandler, Phoebe and Ross is certainly a wishful one for many. They live in improbably nice apartments for their jobs (or lack of them), and they are defined by their personalities rather than their careers. They are good looking and well dressed, and the series centres on their ample leisure and social time. Unlike reality, arguments are always overcome and – most importantly of all – friendship always triumphs.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/pPM7VxnVViw?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption><span class="caption">The first and last scene of Friends.</span></figcaption></figure> <p>What a contrast this vision provides to the actual lives of so many people today. The real world is beset with isolation, loneliness, sometimes insurmountable problems, occasionally fear and certainly drudgery. But with Friends, as the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLisEEwYZvw">chirpy theme song</a> reminds us, there is always someone “there for you” – if only in surrogate.</p> <p>Some critics today carp about the show’s <a href="https://metro.co.uk/2023/04/02/lack-of-diversity-on-friends-mocked-on-snl-after-years-of-criticism-18542168/">lack of diversity</a> and <a href="https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/entertainment/a38817/11-times-friends-sexist-homophobic/">outdated attitudes</a> to the cultural issues of the present day. While this may be true, like TV series, criticism also dates. And series which have long gone into reruns, repeats, streaming and syndication are virtually critic-proof in that they are recommended by word of mouth rather than increasingly ideologically centred reviews. Viewers just want it to be funny.</p> <p>Oh: And in case you were wondering, the final line in the whole of Friends went to the <a href="https://theconversation.com/matthew-perry-the-power-of-celebrities-speaking-publicly-about-their-addiction-216879">late Matthew Perry</a> as Chandler Bing. When Rachel suggests they all go for one last coffee, Chandler quips: “Sure. Where?”</p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/richard-howells-1225412"><em>Richard Howells</em></a><em>, Emeritus Professor of Cultural Sociology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/kings-college-london-1196">King's College London</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: NBC</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/30-years-of-friends-how-the-us-sitcom-became-an-enduring-global-sensation-239464">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Readers response: What’s the longest friendship you’ve had, and what has kept it strong?

<p>When it comes. to friendships, it has long been said that people come into your life for a season, a reason or a lifetime. </p> <p>These "lifetime" relationships are often the friends we made when we were young, who have been by our side through thick and thin. </p> <p>We asked our readers what their longest friendships have been and what made them so strong, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. </p> <p><strong>Linda Cox</strong> - 72 years. We were toddlers when we met and even though we have lived on opposite sides of the planet for the last 50 years, we are still best friends.</p> <p><strong>Rae Meihuizen</strong> - 62 years. We met as a school friend of my cousin. He was my best man at my wedding and still a very dear friend to this day.</p> <p><strong>Jennie Harley</strong> - My friend from school in Sydney living in same street. Although we live a long way apart & haven’t actually seen each other in many years, our phone calls, although sometimes we are both very slack, the relationship is always the same. No explaining things from the past just mutual understanding and love.</p> <p><strong>Marilyn Carter</strong> - 60 years. We all met doing our hairdressing apprenticeship. We love each other so much and do anything for each and every one of us. </p> <p><strong>Guila Kelly</strong> - Met at age 4 in prekinder. Born 2 weeks apart, both turn 80 shortly. Never a cross word.</p> <p><strong>Marjorie Smith</strong> - 82 years. Met at school in NZ when we were 10 years old. Still friends but in different countries. My friend was one of our bridesmaids in 1954.</p> <p><strong>Margaret Inglis</strong> - 74 years. Our mums were next to each other in hospital when we were born. I'm a day older, but even when my parents moved, Jennie and I would spend a few days each school holidays at each other's places. In 1969 I moved to Australia (from NZ) and we STILL catch up via FB etc. Went back to NZ for a few days about 7 years ago, yep, met up again and it was like we'd never been apart.</p> <p><strong>Ros Bieg</strong> - 64yrs. Unconditional friendship and sooo many memories.</p> <p><strong>Margaret Woodhouse</strong> - 68 years. We met at 12 and are 80 this year. Both totally different in personality, but tolerant of the differences and respect each other’s beliefs. Live in different states in Australia but FaceTime twice a week and spend 3-4 weeks together every year.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p>

Relationships

It’s hard to reach out to old friends, but doing so may help alleviate loneliness

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lara-b-aknin-1365501">Lara B Aknin</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/simon-fraser-university-1282">Simon Fraser University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/gillian-sandstrom-1283157">Gillian Sandstrom</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sussex-1218">University of Sussex</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kristina-castaneto-1548733">Kristina Castaneto</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/simon-fraser-university-1282">Simon Fraser University</a></em></p> <p>Millions of <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/t1/tbl1/en/tv.action?pid=4510004801">Canadians are lonely</a>. This is worrisome because loneliness, defined by the World Health Organization as “<a href="https://www.who.int/news/item/15-11-2023-who-launches-commission-to-foster-social-connection">the social pain of not feeling connected</a>,” predicts both lower mental and physical health. Research shows that lacking a sense of social connection can pose an <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691614568352">equivalent health risk to smoking 15 cigarettes per day</a>.</p> <p>To combat loneliness, people are commonly advised to seek out social connection. For many, this guidance brings to mind spending time with loved ones, such as close friends, family and romantic partners. But are there other people we can reach out to?</p> <p>In our research, recently published in <em>Communications Psychology</em>, we examined whether people have “old friends” — individuals that they care about but with whom they have lost touch — and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1038/s44271-024-00075-8">how easily these relationships can be rekindled</a>.</p> <p>We found that certain strategies can help people reconnect — and, in new research, we are getting a sense that certain values and personality traits may make it easier for people to stay in touch far into the future.</p> <h2>Reconnecting with old friends</h2> <p>Across a series of seven studies, we found the majority of people reported having an old friend. Yet, when we asked over 400 participants how willing they would be to reach out to an old friend right now, most said they were neutral or unwilling. In fact, in one study, people reported being no more willing to reach out to an old friend than they were to talk to a stranger or pick up trash.</p> <p>This reluctance was observable in behaviour too. We conducted two experiments in which more than 1,000 people were given several minutes to draft and send a message to an old friend. Only 30 per cent sent the message to their old friend.</p> <p>Given that reaching out to an old friend could boost <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/nextavenue/2018/08/19/the-power-and-joy-of-reconnecting-with-old-friends/">feelings of social connection and happiness</a>, we tried designing interventions to encourage reaching out. For instance, we reminded participants that reaching out to an old friend was an act of kindness and that the recipient would appreciate it more than they realize. We also tried telling participants not to overthink it — to just send their message. Unfortunately, neither prompt was effective at encouraging more people to reach out.</p> <h2>Reluctance to reconnect</h2> <p>Why are people reluctant to reach out to old friends? There may be a number of reasons, including the possibility that old friends feel like strangers after time has passed. In one study with over 500 participants we asked people to list between three to five old friends, and tell us how close each one felt to them right now. The more unfamiliar an old friend felt, the less willing people were to reach out.</p> <p>Research has found that when people <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2022.104356">practise talking to strangers for a week</a>, they become less anxious about it. If old friends can feel like strangers, might a similar strategy encourage people to reach out to old friends?</p> <p>To find out, we conducted an experiment in which we randomly assigned some people to complete a three-minute warm-up activity in which they messaged current family or friends. Other participants were randomly assigned to a control condition in which they simply browsed social media for three minutes instead.</p> <p>Afterward, all participants were given an opportunity to write and send a message to an old friend. While only 30 per cent of participants sent their message in the control condition, over 50 per cent did so after warming-up, suggesting that practising the behaviour that underlies reaching out may make this act easier.</p> <h2>Personality traits</h2> <p>We are extending this research in a number of new directions. For instance, in some newly conducted and unpublished research, we are examining whether people with certain personality traits or beliefs are more likely to send a message to an old friend.</p> <p>Responses from over 300 people suggest that people who are open to new experiences — <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/basics/big-5-personality-traits">one of the five key personality traits studied by psychologists</a> — say they are willing to reach out to an old friend. Despite this inclination, our research found that highly open people do not necessarily communicate with old friends when given the chance.</p> <p>On the other hand, people’s values and beliefs may be important determinants of whether they stay in touch. Our preliminary work shows that people who see friendship as a bond that does not easily break may be more likely to reach out than others.</p> <p>We hope this work helps normalize the fact that friendships can fade and be hard to rekindle. That said, with some practice, people can overcome this reluctance and hit “send” to potentially open a path to connection and less loneliness.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/234895/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lara-b-aknin-1365501">Lara B Aknin</a>, Distinguished Professor of Social Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/simon-fraser-university-1282">Simon Fraser University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/gillian-sandstrom-1283157">Gillian Sandstrom</a>, Senior Lecturer, School of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sussex-1218">University of Sussex</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kristina-castaneto-1548733">Kristina Castaneto</a>, Master's Student, Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/simon-fraser-university-1282">Simon Fraser University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/its-hard-to-reach-out-to-old-friends-but-doing-so-may-help-alleviate-loneliness-234895">original article</a>.</em></p>

Relationships

Wellness is not women’s friend. It’s a distraction from what really ails us

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kate-seers-1131296">Kate Seers</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/charles-sturt-university-849">Charles Sturt University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rachel-hogg-321332">Rachel Hogg</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/charles-sturt-university-849">Charles Sturt University</a></em></p> <p>Wellness is mainly marketed to women. We’re encouraged to eat clean, take <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CYqaatWPxvy/">personal responsibility</a> for our well-being, happiness and life. These are the hallmarks of a strong, independent woman in 2022.</p> <p>But on the eve of International Women’s Day, let’s look closer at this <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-neoliberalism-colonised-feminism-and-what-you-can-do-about-it-94856">neoliberal feminist</a> notion of wellness and personal responsibility – the idea women’s health and well-being depends on our individual choices.</p> <p>We argue wellness is not concerned with actual well-being, whatever wellness “guru” and businesswoman Gwyneth Paltrow <a href="https://goop.com/wellness/">suggests</a>, or influencers say on Instagram.</p> <p>Wellness is an industry. It’s also a seductive distraction from what’s really impacting women’s lives. It glosses over the structural issues undermining women’s well-being. These issues cannot be fixed by drinking a turmeric latte or #livingyourbestlife.</p> <h2>What is wellness?</h2> <p>Wellness <a href="https://globalwellnessinstitute.org/press-room/statistics-and-facts/">is an</a> unregulated US$4.4 trillion global industry due to reach almost $7 trillion by 2025. It promotes self-help, self-care, fitness, nutrition and spiritual practice. It <a href="https://globalwellnessinstitute.org/what-is-wellness/">encourages</a> good choices, intentions and actions.</p> <p>Wellness is alluring because it feels empowering. Women are left with a sense of control over their lives. It is particularly alluring in times of great uncertainty and limited personal control. These might be during a relationship break up, when facing financial instability, workplace discrimination or a global pandemic.</p> <p>But wellness is not all it seems.</p> <h2>Wellness blames women</h2> <p>Wellness implies women are flawed and need to be fixed. It demands women resolve their psychological distress, improve their lives and <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1360780418769673?journalCode=sroa">bounce back from adversity</a>, regardless of personal circumstances.</p> <p>Self-responsibility, self-empowerment and self-optimisation underpin how women are expected to think and behave.</p> <p>As such, wellness <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CZs2iIxrSwb/">patronises women</a> and <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CT3bw_Yhsp6/">micro-manages their daily schedules</a> with journaling, skin care routines, 30-day challenges, meditations, burning candles, yoga and lemon water.</p> <p>Wellness encourages women to improve their appearance through diet and exercise, manage <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CZ7IO7qJHZ_/">their surroundings</a>, <a href="https://www.businessnewsdaily.com/5489-female-leadership-advice.html">performance at work</a> and their capacity to <a href="https://www.apa.org/topics/covid-19/working-women-balance">juggle the elusive work-life balance</a> as well as <a href="https://medium.com/authority-magazine/having-a-positive-mental-attitude-and-thinking-process-is-a-successful-key-to-healthy-wellbeing-ae11e303969c">their emotional responses</a> <a href="https://theconversation.com/planning-stress-and-worry-put-the-mental-load-on-mothers-will-2022-be-the-year-they-share-the-burden-172599">to these pressures</a>. They do this with support from costly life coaches, psychotherapists and self-help guides.</p> <p>Wellness demands women <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CaFc2o7OHSf/">focus on their body</a>, with one’s body a measure of their commitment to the task of wellness. Yet this ignores how much these choices and actions cost.</p> <p>Newsreader and journalist Tracey Spicer <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CaDh28nBp4k/">says</a> she has spent more than A$100,000 over the past 35 years for her hair to “look acceptable” at work.</p> <p>Wellness keeps women <a href="https://www.hercampus.com/school/bu/the-male-gazes-effect-from-beauty-ideals-to-mental-health/">focused on their appearance</a> and keeps them spending.</p> <p>It’s also <a href="https://medium.com/artfullyautistic/the-dark-reality-of-wellness-culture-and-ableism-307307fcdafb">ableist</a>, <a href="https://www.byrdie.com/wellness-industry-whitewashing-5074880">racist</a>, <a href="https://msmagazine.com/2020/07/16/tools-of-the-patriarchy-diet-culture-and-how-we-all-perpetuate-the-stigma/">sexist</a>, <a href="https://www.self.com/topic/anti-aging">ageist</a> and <a href="https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/on-the-inside/422517/the-pursuit-of-wellness-wellness-is-for-the-wealthy">classist</a>. It’s aimed at an ideal of young women, thin, white, middle-class and able-bodied.</p> <h2>But we can’t live up to these ideals</h2> <p>Wellness assumes women have equal access to time, energy and money to meet these ideals. If you don’t, “<a href="https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/may/08/the-self-help-cult-of-resilience-teaches-australians-nothing">you’re just not trying hard enough</a>”.</p> <p>Wellness also <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1360780418769673?journalCode=sroa">implores women</a> to be “adaptable and positive”.</p> <p>If an individual’s #positivevibes and wellness are seen as <a href="https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-should-say-no-to-positivity-and-yes-to-our-negative-emotions/">morally good</a>, then it becomes morally necessary for women to engage in behaviours framed as “investments” or “self-care”.</p> <p>For those who do not achieve self-optimisation (hint: most of us) this is a personal, shameful failing.</p> <h2>Wellness distracts us</h2> <p>When women believe they are to blame for their circumstances, it hides structural and cultural inequities. Rather than questioning the culture that marginalises women and produces feelings of doubt and inadequacy, wellness provides solutions in the form of superficial empowerment, confidence and resilience.</p> <p>Women don’t need wellness. They are unsafe.</p> <p><a href="https://www.ourwatch.org.au/quick-facts/">Women are</a> <a href="https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/crime-and-justice/personal-safety-australia/latest-release">more likely</a> to be murdered by a current or former intimate partner, with reports of the <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-governments-can-do-about-the-increase-in-family-violence-due-to-coronavirus-135674">pandemic increasing</a> the risk and severity of <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/society/2020/dec/01/the-worst-year-domestic-violence-soars-in-australia-during-covid-19">domestic violence</a>.</p> <p>Women are more likely to be employed in unstable <a href="https://lighthouse.mq.edu.au/article/april-2020/Pandemics-economic-blow-hits-women-hard">casualised labour, and experience economic hardship and poverty</a>. Women are also bearing the brunt <a href="https://grattan.edu.au/report/womens-work/">of the economic fallout from COVID</a>. Women are more likely to be juggling a career with <a href="https://www.bmj.com/content/374/bmj.n1972">unpaid domestic duties</a> and more likely <a href="https://www.mercyfoundation.com.au/our-focus/ending-homelessness/older-women-and-homelessness/">to be homeless</a> as they near retirement age.</p> <p>In their book <a href="https://www.dukeupress.edu/confidence-culture#:%7E:text=They%20argue%20that%20while%20confidence,responsible%20for%20their%20own%20conditions.">Confidence Culture</a> UK scholars Shani Orgad and Rosalind Gill argue hashtags such as #loveyourbody and #believeinyourself imply psychological blocks, rather than entrenched social injustices, are what hold women back.</p> <h2>What we should be doing instead</h2> <p>Wellness, with its self-help rhetoric, <a href="http://www.consultmcgregor.com/documents/research/neoliberalism_and_health_care.pdf">absolves the government</a> of responsibility to provide transformative and effectual action that ensures women are safe, delivered justice, and treated with respect and dignity.</p> <p>Structural inequity was not created by an individual, and it will not be solved by an individual.</p> <p>So this International Women’s Day, try to resist the neoliberal requirement to take personal responsibility for your wellness. Lobby governments to address structural inequities instead.</p> <p><a href="https://www.mindful.org/why-women-should-embrace-their-anger/">Follow your anger</a>, not your bliss, call out injustices when you can. And in the words of sexual assault survivor and advocate Grace Tame, “make some noise”.</p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kate-seers-1131296">Kate Seers</a>, PhD Candidate, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/charles-sturt-university-849">Charles Sturt University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rachel-hogg-321332">Rachel Hogg</a>, Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/charles-sturt-university-849">Charles Sturt University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/wellness-is-not-womens-friend-its-a-distraction-from-what-really-ails-us-177446">original article</a>.</em></p>

Mind

"Devastated": Chris Pratt mourns sudden death of longtime friend and stunt double

<p>Superstar of big and small screen Chris Pratt is grieving the death of his longtime friend and former stunt double, Tony McFarr, who was found dead at his home near Orlando, Florida, on Monday. McFarr was 47, and the cause of his death remains undetermined.</p> <p>Pratt and McFarr began their professional relationship on the set of <em>Jurassic World</em> in 2015. Their collaboration continued on <em>Passengers</em>, <em>Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2</em>, and <em>Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom</em>. Over the years, they developed a strong bond that clearly extended beyond their work on screen.</p> <p>In an emotional Instagram tribute on Friday, Pratt expressed his heartbreak over the loss of McFarr. "We did several movies together," Pratt wrote. "We golfed, drank whiskey, smoked cigars, and spent endless hours on set. I'll never forget his toughness."</p> <p>Pratt then recalled a particularly intense moment during the filming of <em>Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2</em> when McFarr suffered a severe head injury but quickly returned to work. "He was an absolute stud. He was always a gentleman and professional. He'll be missed."</p> <p>Pratt concluded his tribute by offering prayers to McFarr's friends and family, especially his daughter. He shared a series of photos showcasing their time together on set, displaying their striking resemblance, particularly when dressed in matching costumes.</p> <p><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2024/05/ChrisPratt_Insta02.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="970" /></p> <p>In addition to doubling for Pratt in several films, McFarr's impressive career included work on other major Marvel productions like <em>Captain America: Civil War</em> and <em>Ant-Man and the Wasp</em>. He also served as Jon Hamm's stunt double in the 2018 action comedy <em>Tag</em>.</p> <p><a href="https://www.tmz.com/2024/05/16/chris-pratt-stunt-double-tony-mcfarr-dead-dies-guardians-of-the-galaxy/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">According to TMZ</a>, McFarr's mother, Donna, reported that "he passed away Monday at his home just outside Orlando -- and while we're told the family doesn't know the exact circumstances of his death just yet ... Donna does say his passing is unexpected and shocking."</p> <p>"She says Tony was active and healthy ... and we're told the medical examiner's office is running toxicology tests now. The Orange County Medical Examiner confirms to us they have the case ... and that an official cause is still pending."</p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

Caring

Shocking reason why woman was dumped as her best friend’s bridesmaid

<p dir="ltr">A friendship has broken down live on radio, after a woman was dumped from being a bridesmaid after trying to attend a Taylor Swift concert the same night as her best friend’s wedding. </p> <p dir="ltr">Liv was one of thousands of Aussies who secured tickets to see Taylor Swift when her Eras Tour heads Down Under in February. Unfortunately for the young woman, the only night she could get tickets for was the same night as her best friend Jess’ wedding, where she was set to be a bridesmaid. </p> <p dir="ltr">Knowing about the concert while the wedding planning was taking place, Liv said she was nervous to tell Jess about the show, and decided to keep it secret while they were shopping for wedding outfits. </p> <p dir="ltr">Calling into the <em>Fifi, Fev & Nick</em> radio show, Liv wanted advice on how to tell her friend that she planned to attend Jess’ wedding ceremony, and then leave the reception to attend the concert. </p> <p dir="ltr">The radio hosts decided to let the two women hash it out live on air, with Liv saying to her friend at the start of the phone call, “Obviously the whole Taylor thing, we've been talking about it and you've been saying how annoying it is that people have been backing out.”</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C2cLqsqvcIw/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C2cLqsqvcIw/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Fifi, Fev & Nick (@fififevnick)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">“But I haven't told you I got tickets for the Saturday and this was done before Christmas. However, I was thinking of trying to compromise here and make it work.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Liv shared her plan to “scoot off” in the middle of the big day, to which Jess was convinced she was being “pranked”. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I feel really bad, I do but I have loved Taylor for so long, you are aware of this and you knew how hard it was to get tickets,” Liv replied. </p> <p dir="ltr">But Jess flew off the handle at her friend, slamming her for withholding the news and poking holes in her compromise. </p> <p dir="ltr">“You've known this before December and it's three weeks until my wedding and you're telling me now?” she said. </p> <p dir="ltr">“You want to miss a part of my wedding to go to a Taylor Swift concert? You know how much this has been annoying me that people have been dropping out to go to her and you've known all along that you're going to go to her concert.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Liv said she feels like a “bad friend” before breaking down in tears, although Jess wasn’t having it. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I don't even understand though you've gone and bought tickets on my wedding date. I'm not trying to be mean right now, I think I'm just angry before I'm even upset because I'm so stressed, it's three weeks out,” she said. </p> <p dir="ltr">Host Fifi Box suggested Liv skip the concert, but she was hesitant calling the show a “once in a lifetime” opportunity. </p> <p dir="ltr">The pair eventually hung up, with Jess ringing into the radio show in the weeks after to share an update. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C29c8ERPrdT/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C29c8ERPrdT/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Fifi, Fev & Nick (@fififevnick)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">“I was caught off guard, pretty mortified that she chose to do it live on air, and also pretty angry,” Jess told the Melbourne radio show hosts. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Liv and I did speak after the show, and I told her she’s shown her true colours and if she wants to go to the concert, she can go to the concert.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“She was a really good friend, and if she saw that a Taylor Swift concert was more important (than my wedding), that’s her choice but I don’t want her to be a part of my day.”</p> <p dir="ltr">When Fifi asked exactly what happened after the first call on air, Jess admitted that “there was a bit of fighting.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“She still wanted to take the route that maybe she could come for some of the wedding and then leave,” Jess explained.</p> <p dir="ltr">“But realistically that wasn’t feasible and to choose someone to be your bridesmaid — in my eyes — is a pretty big deal.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Jess went on to say that Liv “reached out to some of the other bridesmaids and offered to help with the hen’s night, to which she “told them to block her because I don’t want her involved with it at all”.</p> <p dir="ltr">The bride-to-be admitted that it had been a “rough couple of weeks” and that some of her friends are “cult Taylor Swift fans and have taken Liv’s side.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“It definitely hasn’t been the lead up to the wedding that I wanted, I didn’t expect to lose friends over such an exciting part of my life. It’s really emotional, it’s meant to be an exciting time for me,” she explained.</p> <p dir="ltr">“It just really sucks that someone who I loved so much has done this.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Instagram / Getty Images </em><span id="docs-internal-guid-b1fd920e-7fff-fda1-0a24-05d2c9a0abb2"></span></p>

Family & Pets

The enduring appeal of Friends, and why so many of us feel we’ve lost a personal friend in Matthew Perry

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/adam-gerace-325968">Adam Gerace</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a></em></p> <p>The <a href="https://www.9news.com.au/videos/world/friends-star-matthew-perry-dies-aged-54/cloatn0ae00ea0jqbpdz0h8td">death of Matthew Perry</a>, best known for his role as Chandler Bing in the television series Friends, has seen an outpouring of grief from fans and the Hollywood community.</p> <p>His passing at age 54 has shocked both those who admired his acting work, as well as those who followed his efforts to bring awareness to <a href="https://people.com/tv/matthew-perry-opens-up-about-addiction-new-memoir/">the pains of addiction</a>.</p> <p>Tributes to Perry have understandably focused on his star-making turn on the incredibly popular television sitcom. Scenes, catchphrases, and his character’s lines have been lovingly repurposed across the internet to memorialise the gifted actor.</p> <p>Meanwhile, many viewers have situated their <a href="https://variety.com/2023/tv/news/friends-fans-mourn-matthew-perry-new-york-apartment-1235772520/">recollections</a> of Perry and the series within the context of their own experiences.</p> <p>Viewers who came of age, or were the characters’ ages during the show’s original run, have reminisced about what the work of Perry and his co-stars meant to them at formative times in their lives. Newer viewers have similarly shared how important the series has been to them – their relationship with the show often beginning long after production ended.</p> <p>For many, Friends was the television equivalent of the soundtrack to their lives.</p> <p>To appreciate the staying power of the series for original and <a href="https://www.etonline.com/streaming-friends-how-a-90s-sitcom-became-gen-zs-new-favorite-show-132624">newer viewers alike</a> almost 30 years since it debuted, we need to consider what functions television viewing serves and the bonds we form with its characters.</p> <h2>Enduring appeal</h2> <p>Part of Friends’ popularity lies in its timing. The show premiered in 1994, a period when network television was still dominant. By its end a decade later, while the power of the big television networks had <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/08838150701820924">eroded</a>, the series had maintained <a href="https://www.ratingsryan.com/2022/09/friends-nbc-ratings-recap.html">an average</a> of more than 20 million viewers each season.</p> <p>The 2004 finale brought in a <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2004/05/08/arts/friends-finale-s-audience-is-the-fourth-biggest-ever.html">record-breaking</a> 52.5 million viewers in the United States. The series then entered repeats around the world. It hasn’t left our screens since.</p> <p>The late 90s and early 2000s have sometimes been referred to as the end of monoculture. While a <a href="https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/12/17/21024439/monoculture-algorithm-netflix-spotify">contested and controversial idea</a> because of, among other concerns, who was included and excluded on our screens, monoculture meant we watched <a href="https://www.npr.org/sections/bestmusic2012/2012/12/21/167836852/the-year-in-pop-charts-return-of-the-monoculture">many of the same things</a>.</p> <p>One of the most popular shows of its era, Friends brought people together. It was a show we watched with our families or friends, spoke about the next day with colleagues, and it provided a common connection. It allowed bonding with real friends as much as fictional ones.</p> <p>Friends did not only reflect style of the time; it also frequently created it. Jennifer Aniston’s haircut, coined “<a href="https://www.bustle.com/style/the-rachel-haircut">The Rachel</a>”, or Perry’s lovable smart-alecky cadence, typified with Chandler’s catchphrase of “Could I <em>be</em> any more…”, were endlessly imitated. I know I attempted to replicate Chandler’s <a href="https://www.gq.com.au/style/celebrity/unexpectedly-great-fashion-inspiration-courtesy-of-friends/image-gallery/f55ac75cc180e31c462525da961295fc">sweater vests</a> and light blue denim look. Participation provided viewers <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1540-5931.2011.00866.x">a sense</a> of identity.</p> <p>As people enter their 30s and 40s, they often <a href="https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0208595">gravitate</a> towards the memories made during their formative adolescent and young adult years. So perhaps it’s no surprise Friends endures for original viewers as it represents – and was a part of – their lives at this important time.</p> <h2>Likeable characters</h2> <p>Television and other fictional media meet our needs for <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1468-2958.2009.01368.x">both</a> pleasure and extracting meaning. We get excited, entertained and moved by television.</p> <p>As part of this, we bond with fictional characters. We cannot help but <a href="https://doi.org/10.1207/S15327825MCS0403_01">empathise</a> with them. A series like Friends with its characters and their combinations of breakups, makeups and other mishaps allowed us to safely use our empathy muscles to cheer on and sometimes commiserate with the group of six. It helped that each character was flawed but inherently likeable.</p> <p>Fictional characters also allow us to <a href="https://theconversation.com/neighbours-vs-friends-we-found-out-which-beloved-show-fans-mourned-more-when-it-ended-212843">experience lifestyles</a> we might not otherwise. In the case of Friends, who didn’t want to live in a rent-controlled apartment like Monica’s, or regularly meet their supportive and funny pals for coffee at Central Perk? As a teen, I imagined such a world for myself in the not-too-distant future.</p> <p>Younger generations might be more aware of how out-of-reach that lifestyle was, or find the show’s <a href="https://ew.com/tv/jennifer-aniston-friends-offensive-new-generation/">humour sometimes dated</a>. But the idea of what the friends’ lifestyle represented – possibility, freedom, a chosen family – evidently still holds appeal.</p> <h2>Fictional relationships, but real sadness</h2> <p>In forming relationships with fictional characters, we form bonds with the performers who bring them to life. The lines between character and creator become blurry, both because of the knowledge about actors’ lives celebrity culture affords us, but also because their characters seem so real. When the actors pass away, we <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2016.06.042">feel real grief</a>.</p> <p>It’s important for fans of Matthew Perry to <a href="https://womensagenda.com.au/latest/why-with-all-the-sht-happening-in-the-world-its-still-okay-to-grieve-a-celebritys-death/">acknowledge</a> their loss. Even though his character is fictional, and you didn’t know him personally, you can still feel sad. Watching the series may be difficult right now. With time, it will become easier.</p> <p>Matthew Perry wanted <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/matthew-perry-death-addiction-alcoholism-drugs-b2437980.html">his legacy</a> to be awareness of addiction and the help he provided to people struggling with this disorder. Hopefully what will be felt now, alongside collective sadness, is an empathy for those facing addiction. That may be the power of television, and of a character named Chandler, and the actor who brought him to life, who many considered their friend.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/216626/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/adam-gerace-325968"><em>Adam Gerace</em></a><em>, Senior Lecturer and Head of Course - Positive Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-enduring-appeal-of-friends-and-why-so-many-of-us-feel-weve-lost-a-personal-friend-in-matthew-perry-216626">original article</a>.</em></p>

"Matthew would enjoy the humour of it": Ironic detail spotted in Friends tribute

<p>While many fans of the long-running sitcom <em>Friends</em> are in mourning over the <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/health/caring/you-were-loved-tributes-flow-over-tragic-passing-of-matthew-perry" target="_blank" rel="noopener">sudden death</a> of Matthew Perry, others have delighted in an ironic detail surrounding the Friends apartment in New York. </p> <p>Since the announcement of Perry's death on Sunday, thousands of fans of the show has flocked to the apartment building in New York City's West Village, where the external shots of the gang's apartment was filmed, to pay their respects. </p> <p>While the sitcom, which ran for ten years from 1994, was actually filmed in Los Angeles, the Bedford Street address was used for the external shots of the New York-based show, with the humble apartment being home to each of the cast members during the show. </p> <p>Fans of the show have left notes, flowers, Central Perk memorabilia, and other sentimental items to pay tribute to the late actor. </p> <p>However, one eagle-eyed fan spotted a quirky detail hovering around the building, as Perry's death coincided with Halloween. </p> <p><iframe style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FKidspotAustralia%2Fposts%2Fpfbid02xSVyrpRthTeLeBNqtvHKWUB36us5bVB5vKCW1R9DYgF66kBWqnsSYarY2kDFfCT3l&show_text=true&width=500" width="500" height="581" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></p> <p>Part of the building's Halloween decorations included a large ghost hovering near the iconic apartment, with many quick to point out the hilarious irony of the figure floating above the makeshift memorial. </p> <p>“That Halloween ghost is kinda fitting for the photo/mood and I think Matthew would enjoy the humour of it,” fan Holly astutely pointed out, sharing photos of the ghost on Facebook. </p> <p>The ironic decorations emerged shortly after Perry's <em>Friends</em> co-stars have <a href="https://oversixty.com.au/health/caring/so-utterly-devastated-friends-cast-break-silence" target="_blank" rel="noopener">broken their silence</a> over his sudden death in a group statement to People magazine. </p> <p>Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc and David Schwimmer said on Tuesday, "We are all so utterly devastated by the loss of Matthew. We were more than just cast mates. We are a family."</p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p>"There is so much to say, but right now we're going to take a moment to grieve and process this unfathomable loss."</p> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem;"><em>Image credits: Facebook / Kidspot</em></p> <div id="fuse-injected-22953829264-1" class="fuse-slot-dynamic publift-video-ad" style="box-sizing: border-box; padding-top: 24px; padding-bottom: 24px; display: flex; justify-content: center;" data-fuse="22953829264" data-fuse-injected-at="1698722632652" data-fuse-code="fuse-slot-22953829264-1" data-fuse-zone-instance="zone-instance-22953829264-1" data-fuse-slot="fuse-slot-22953829264-1" data-fuse-processed-at="1440"> <div id="fuse-slot-22953829264-1" class="fuse-slot" style="box-sizing: border-box; max-width: inherit; max-height: inherit;"></div> <div id="bb-iawr-over60au-1692594483990158" class="bb_iawr" style="box-sizing: border-box; position: relative; overflow: hidden; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; 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display: inline-block;"> <div class="tooltip-content center svelte-1bd19u8" style="text-shadow: 0px calc(var(--font-size) / 12.5) 0px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.25); display: flex; padding: 6px 10px; background-color: var(--bg-color-pane); border-radius: 5px; font-size: 0.75em; row-gap: 6px; column-gap: 6px; text-align: center; white-space: nowrap; position: absolute; left: 19px; transform: translate(-50%); top: 4em;"> <div class="text svelte-1bd19u8" style="text-shadow: 0px calc(var(--font-size) / 12.5) 0px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.25); display: inline-block;">Share</div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="center-controls-layer svelte-10zo7b2" style="text-shadow: 0px calc(var(--font-size) / 12.5) 0px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.25); display: grid; align-content: center; justify-content: center; position: absolute; left: 0px; top: 0px; width: 730px; height: 411px; transition: opacity 0.15s ease-in-out 0s;"> <div class="center-controls skinsize-S svelte-fllze1" style="text-shadow: 0px calc(var(--font-size) / 12.5) 0px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.25); display: flex; align-items: center; gap: var(--gap-size); --gap-size: 37px;"> <div class="big-button big-play-pause-button svelte-fllze1" style="text-shadow: 0px calc(var(--font-size) / 12.5) 0px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.25); position: relative; transition: opacity 0.25s ease-in-out 0s;"> <div class="button-element svelte-1eoizxx no-toggle-transform" style="text-shadow: 0px calc(var(--font-size) / 12.5) 0px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.25); box-sizing: border-box; width: 54px; height: 54px; position: relative; cursor: pointer; pointer-events: initial; border-radius: var(--border-radius); --foreground-color: #ffffff; --border-radius: 50%; --hover-transform: scale(1.2); --icon-height: 54px; --bg-height: 54px; --bg-width: 54px; --button-position: absolute;"> <div class="button-content svelte-1eoizxx" style="text-shadow: 0px calc(var(--font-size) / 12.5) 0px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.25); width: var(--bg-width); height: var(--bg-height); transition: transform 0.2s ease-in-out 0s, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out 0s, transform 0.2s ease-in-out 0s; border-radius: 50%;" tabindex="0" role="button" aria-label="Play"> <div class="normal slot-content svelte-1eoizxx" style="text-shadow: 0px calc(var(--font-size) / 12.5) 0px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.25); filter: drop-shadow(rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.25) 0px 2px 0px); box-sizing: border-box; position: var(--button-position); top: 0px; left: 0px; width: 54px; height: 54px; display: grid; align-content: center; justify-content: center; transition: transform 0.2s ease-in-out 0s, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out 0s, transform 0.2s ease-in-out 0s; opacity: 1;"> <div style="text-shadow: 0px calc(var(--font-size) / 12.5) 0px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.25); min-height: 12px; height: var(--icon-height); line-height: var(--icon-height); min-width: var(--icon-height); display: inline-flex; justify-content: center;"> </div> <div class="toggled slot-content svelte-1eoizxx" style="text-shadow: 0px calc(var(--font-size) / 12.5) 0px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.25); filter: drop-shadow(rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.25) 0px 2px 0px); box-sizing: border-box; position: var(--button-position); top: 0px; left: 0px; width: 54px; height: 54px; display: grid; align-content: center; justify-content: center; transition: transform 0.2s ease-in-out 0s, opacity 0.2s ease-in-out 0s, transform 0.2s ease-in-out 0s; opacity: 0;"> <div style="text-shadow: 0px calc(var(--font-size) / 12.5) 0px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.25); min-height: 12px; height: var(--icon-height); line-height: var(--icon-height); min-width: var(--icon-height); display: inline-flex; justify-content: center;"> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="start-time svelte-fllze1" style="text-shadow: 0px calc(var(--font-size) / 12.5) 0px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.25); top: calc(8px + var(--size-big-button)); position: absolute; left: 27px; transform: translate(-50%); background-color: var(--bg-color-pane); padding: 8px 16px; border-radius: 32px; font-size: 0.8em; margin-top: var(--margin-size); margin-left: 2px;" data-cy="start-screen-duration">01:31</div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="center-area svelte-10zo7b2" style="text-shadow: 0px calc(var(--font-size) / 12.5) 0px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.25); flex-grow: 1;"> </div> </div> <div class="chrome-bottom-shadow svelte-10zo7b2" style="text-shadow: 0px calc(var(--font-size) / 12.5) 0px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.25); transition: opacity 0.15s ease-in-out 0s; opacity: 0; position: absolute; inset: 0px;"> </div> </div> <div class="bb-layer bb-context-layer" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px; position: absolute; top: 0px; left: 0px; width: 730px; height: 411px; overflow: hidden; border-radius: 10px; pointer-events: none !important;"> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">"For now, our thoughts and our love are with Matty's family, his friends, and everyone who loved him around the world."</p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div>

Caring

"So utterly devastated": Friends cast break silence

<p>The cast of <em>Friends</em> have broken their silence on Matthew Perry's <a href="https://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/caring/you-were-loved-tributes-flow-over-tragic-passing-of-matthew-perry" target="_blank" rel="noopener">tragic passing</a> over the weekend. </p> <p>His co-stars Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc and David Schwimmer, issued a joint statement to<em> People Magazine </em>on Tuesday. </p> <p>"We are all so utterly devastated by the loss of Matthew. We were more than just cast mates. We are a family," the statement read. </p> <p>"There is so much to say, but right now we're going to take a moment to grieve and process this unfathomable loss."</p> <p>"In time we will say more, as and when we are able."</p> <p>"For now, our thoughts and our love are with Matty's family, his friends, and everyone who loved him around the world."</p> <p>The statement was signed by the cast. </p> <p>A few other <em>Friends</em> co-stars had previously paid tribute to the actor, Maggie Wheeler andMorgan Fairchild, were among them. </p> <p>Maggie Wheeler, who played Chandler's on-again, off-again girlfriend, Janice wrote: </p> <p>"What a loss. The world will miss you Matthew Perry. The joy you brought to so many in your too short lifetime will live on. I feel so very blessed by every creative moment we shared. ♥️"</p> <p>While Morgan Fairchild, who played Chandler's mother, Nora Bing, said she was "heartbroken" by the untimely loss of her "son". </p> <p><em>Images: Getty</em></p>

Caring

5 signs your friend is struggling with serious debt

<p>Money is always going to be a sensitive topic, and part of the reason for this is the fact that so many people willingly suffer in silence. But if you notice the warning signs, you have to take action. Here are five signs your friend is struggling with serious debt.</p> <p><strong>1. They keep cancelling plans</strong></p> <p>Whether you’re talking about dinner, drinks or even just the occasional coffee, if your friend keeps cancelling plans (particularly if they didn’t have a reputation for doing so in the past) that could be a sign that they’re struggling with their finances.</p> <p><strong>2. Unopened bills</strong></p> <p>If you’re visiting your friend’s home and you notice a pile of unopened bills, this is a classic sign of money troubles. Generally these bills are left unopened because the recipient does not want to see what’s inside, or deal with the monetary consequences.</p> <p><strong>3. Sudden changes in behaviour</strong></p> <p>Does your friend seem more fidgety that usual? Do they become cagey or defensive when money matters are mentioned? Are they bitter when discussing other people’s spending habits? This could indicate stress about their own individual financial situation.</p> <p><strong>4. Ignoring calls and knocks on the door</strong></p> <p>If you’ve been staying at your friend’s house and noticed a knock on the door or phone that’s been left unanswered on multiple occasions this could be a very bad sign. Often this is out of fear of dealing with a debt collector who could be on the other side.</p> <p><strong>5. Not adapting to changes in circumstances very well</strong></p> <p>Lifestyle changes generally come with a change in financial circumstances, but if you’ve noticed a sign that your friend is living in the same way that may be a sign that they’re ignoring the demands of their new situation and not putting themselves in a position to succeed.</p> <p><strong>What can I do?</strong></p> <p>Experts recommend taking the following steps if you know a friend who is struggling to deal with debt. That being said, sometimes just providing someone to talk to about it can make all the difference.</p> <ul> <li>Encourage them to talk to their credit provider and discuss payment options.</li> <li>Talk about applying or a hardship variation to help make payments.</li> <li>Direct them to a financial counselling service.</li> <li>Encourage them to take up free legal advice.</li> </ul> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

Money & Banking

Hugh Jackman's first outing with his famous friends after bombshell split

<p>Hugh Jackman has been spotted rubbing shoulders with his famous friends in his first public outing since announcing his divorce. </p> <p>The actor was joined by Hollywood A-listers Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Sophie Turner, Taylor Swift and many more famous mates at an NFL game in New York. </p> <p>The celebrity group showed up at the game in support of their friend Taylor Swift, who was barracking on for her rumoured new boyfriend, NFL player Travis Kelce. </p> <p>Jackman snapped a series of selfies with his pals, sporting a beaming smile. </p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">Shawn Levy shares new photo with Taylor Swift, Hugh Jackman, Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively. <a href="https://t.co/8XkYlm1Uqj">pic.twitter.com/8XkYlm1Uqj</a></p> <p>— Pop Base (@PopBase) <a href="https://twitter.com/PopBase/status/1708928938448232854?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 2, 2023</a></p></blockquote> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">Hugh Jackman, Ryan Reynolds and Shawn Levy tonight at New York Jets football game 📸 <a href="https://t.co/d5T55C4BpH">pic.twitter.com/d5T55C4BpH</a></p> <p>— Deadpool Updates (@DeadpoolUpdate) <a href="https://twitter.com/DeadpoolUpdate/status/1708636773629182395?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 2, 2023</a></p></blockquote> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">📷| <a href="https://twitter.com/taylorswift13?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@TaylorSwift13</a> with Blake Lively, Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman <a href="https://t.co/7X6DND2VQV">pic.twitter.com/7X6DND2VQV</a></p> <p>— The Swift Society (@TheSwiftSociety) <a href="https://twitter.com/TheSwiftSociety/status/1708816628471812467?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">October 2, 2023</a></p></blockquote> <p>Despite Hugh's happy smile when posing for cameras, while being snapped in candid moments, fans were quick to point out that he seemed downcast while watching the game. </p> <p>“Poor Hugh looks miserable,” one person wrote on X, formerly known as Twitter.</p> <p>“Hugh doesn’t seem himself,” said another.</p> <p>“I’m glad Hugh Jackman is out and supported by friends, poor thing,” a third wrote.</p> <p>One person wrote light-heartedly, “Hugh Jackman in his single era let’s gooooooo.”</p> <p>Jackman's public outing comes just weeks after announcing he and his wife Deborra-Lee Furness are getting a divorce. </p> <p>The Hollywood couple <a href="https://oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/hugh-jackman-devastated-after-marriage-split" target="_blank" rel="noopener">shocked the world</a> on September 15th when they released a statement confirming their separation after being married for 27 years.</p> <p>“We have been blessed to share almost three decades together as husband and wife in a wonderful, loving marriage,” Jackman and Furness told <em><a href="https://people.com/hugh-jackman-and-deborra-lee-jackman-separate-exclusive-7970286" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-link-type="article-inline">People</a></em>.</p> <p>“Our journey now is shifting and we have decided to separate to pursue our individual growth."</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images / Instagram</em></p>

Beauty & Style

"Without hope": Close friend shares sad Schumacher update

<p>It has been a decade since the tragic skiing accident that left Formula 1 racing legend Michael Schumacher with life-threatening injuries, and the most recent update on his condition paints a decidedly sombre picture.</p> <p>Renowned motorsport journalist Roger Benoit, a close friend of Schumacher, recently conveyed a disheartening assessment, describing Schumacher's situation as "a case without hope" in an interview with the Swiss newspaper <em>Blick</em>.</p> <p>Schumacher's catastrophic incident occurred in December 2013 when he struck his head on a rock while skiing in the French Alps, resulting in severe brain damage. Despite wearing a helmet and skiing with his son Mick, Schumacher's life took a tragic turn. He spent 250 days in a medically-induced coma before finally returning home.</p> <p>Since then, updates on Schumacher's condition have been exceptionally scarce, primarily due to the steadfast commitment of those close to him to protect his privacy.</p> <p>In his recent interview, when pressed for a specific update on Schumacher's condition, Benoit offered these bleak words: "This sentence says everything about how (Michael) has been doing for over 3500 days. A case without hope."</p> <p>In 2021, Schumacher's wife, Corinna, broke her silence and spoke about the accident for the first time in eight years during a <a href="https://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/family-pets/he-s-a-very-proud-dad-unearthed-snap-of-michael-schumacher-stuns-fans" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Netflix documentary</a>. She shared: "Michael is here. Different, but he's here, and that gives us strength, I find. We're together. We live together at home. We do therapy. We do everything we can to make Michael better and to make sure he's comfortable. And to simply make him feel our family, our bond. And no matter what, I will do everything I can. We all will."</p> <p>Now 54 years old, Michael Schumacher has not been seen in public for a decade. His absence has left a void in the world of Formula 1, where he was a legendary figure, having clinched the Drivers' World Championships seven times, a record tied with Lewis Hamilton for the most titles in history. Schumacher's impressive 91 career Grand Prix wins rank second only to Hamilton's 103 victories.</p> <p><em>Image: Netflix</em></p>

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