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Black Friday sales are on again. To score a genuine bargain, it helps to go in with a plan

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/park-thaichon-175182">Park Thaichon</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-southern-queensland-1069">University of Southern Queensland</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sara-quach-175976">Sara Quach</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/griffith-university-828">Griffith University</a></em></p> <p>November 29th was Black Friday, the official beginning of one of the biggest sales events of the year.</p> <p>With so many consumers still feeling the cost-of-living pinch, it’s expected to once again bring bargain hunters out in droves.</p> <p>While some sales have already started, market research company Roy Morgan <a href="https://www.roymorgan.com/findings/black-friday-sales-a-winner-this-christmas-as-cost-of-living-continues-to-bite">estimates</a> Australian shoppers will spend a record $6.7 billion over the four-day shopping window. That’s up more than 5% on last year.</p> <p>For Australians, it’s one of three big annual sales events. The others take place at the <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-you-should-know-before-you-start-chasing-bargains-at-the-eofy-sales-232568">end of each financial year (EOFY)</a> and on <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-boxing-day-evolved-from-giving-christmas-leftovers-to-servants-to-a-retail-frenzy-219507">Boxing Day</a>.</p> <p>Despite being a recent entrant to Australia, Black Friday has quickly become one of the most important shopping days of the year.</p> <p>For consumers, navigating these sales and dodging the marketing tricks played by retailers is no mean feat. Here’s what you should know.</p> <h2>What exactly is Black Friday?</h2> <p>Black Friday as a major sales event originated in the United States. It falls on the day after Thanksgiving, which is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of November each year.</p> <p>A four day sales window then typically runs over the weekend after Thanksgiving, including “Cyber Monday” – a similar event that was set up more recently to encourage online shopping.</p> <p>But as you might have noticed, this official start date doesn’t prevent retailers from discounting products earlier, something many do.</p> <p>Australians don’t officially celebrate Thanksgiving. Nonetheless, the sales event has gained significant traction here over the past decade or so.</p> <p>This was initially driven by big US companies operating here, such as Apple and Amazon. But it was soon adopted and ultimately embraced by Australia’s own big retailers.</p> <p>Some Australian retailers now say Black Friday has already <a href="https://www.smh.com.au/business/consumer-affairs/bigger-than-boxing-day-the-rise-and-rise-of-black-friday-sales-20231117-p5ekwo.html">overtaken Boxing Day</a> to become their most important sales event, a standing it could well cement further this year.</p> <p>It’s been a <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/jonbird1/2023/11/20/le-black-friday-how-an-american-tradition-spread-round-the-world/">similar story</a> across much of the world. Countries including Canada, Brazil, France and the UK all now mark the occasion with their own big sales events.</p> <h2>How do big sales work?</h2> <p>Black Friday and other big sales events are designed to create a sense of urgency. They lean heavily into the phenomenon known as <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/cb.1885">fear of missing out</a> – called FOMO for short.</p> <p>Retailers know that shoppers feel the pressure to buy when they think they might miss out. This is called <a href="https://www.emerald.com/insight/content/doi/10.1108/jfmm-03-2023-0082/full/html">scarcity marketing</a>.</p> <p>Retailers have ways of creating artificial scarcity, which can pressure us to make purchase decisions that aren’t in our best interests.</p> <p>You’ve probably seen phrases in stores and online such as “only two left!” or “today only”. These tactics are designed to make you act.</p> <p>The extent of savings can also depend on retailers’ dynamic pricing tactics. Many businesses use algorithms to adjust discounts in real time based on customer demand, inventory levels and competitor trends.</p> <p>Popular items may start with small discounts, while less popular products get larger price cuts to attract interest.</p> <h2>How to be a savvy shopper</h2> <p>With these factors in mind, there are a few strategies that can help you you keep a clear head.</p> <p>One tactic is to create a shopping list and understand the importance of sticking to predetermined purchase decisions and a predetermined budget. Prioritise needs over impulsive wants.</p> <p>For example, if you need to replace an old keyboard amid a big sale, set a budget before you start looking, and try to avoid buying an entirely new computer just because it’s discounted in-store.</p> <p>Shoppers should prepare for fluctuating prices, while being cautious of tactics such as artificially inflated “fake” discounts, where original prices are exaggerated to make savings seem more appealing.</p> <p>Our previous <a href="https://www.emerald.com/insight/content/doi/10.1108/apjml-07-2021-0475/full/html?casa_token=A3V3IU0s1GkAAAAA%3A84uQk1cv03fh5C6gJrIeOuLPrztKhU4gacoPupelIWtOBZCnqSbmFKz4OjBaL60790I-O011Itd9C63vCGJ_hDSJFuVeiwe3YaiSftT6nUzpzxDYHYkdGQ">research</a> has shown price promotion can trigger customer emotions such as surprise and lead to anticipated regret, influencing their purchase decisions.</p> <h2>Go in with a plan</h2> <p>Another tactic is to do some window shopping in the days or weeks beforehand. This allows you to check and research the products you’re interested in. Note down their non-sale prices for future reference.</p> <p>Create a list of where to buy, along with a few alternatives. For shoes and clothing, try things on if you can and note down your size. That can help you act quickly once the sales go live.</p> <p>And in the excitement of all the sales, don’t forget: if you don’t actually want or need anything, there’s always the option of not shopping at all.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/244509/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/park-thaichon-175182">Park Thaichon</a>, Associate Professor of Marketing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-southern-queensland-1069">University of Southern Queensland</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sara-quach-175976">Sara Quach</a>, Senior Lecturer in Marketing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/griffith-university-828">Griffith University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/black-friday-sales-are-on-again-to-score-a-genuine-bargain-it-helps-to-go-in-with-a-plan-244509">original article</a>.</em></p>

Money & Banking

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What does a good death look like when you’re really old and ready to go?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/naomi-richards-182120">Naomi Richards</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-glasgow-1269">University of Glasgow</a></em></p> <p><a href="https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/hawaii-legalizes-assisted-suicide_us_5ac6c6f5e4b0337ad1e621fb">Hawaii</a> recently joined the growing number of states and countries where doctor-assisted dying is legal. In these jurisdictions, help to die is rarely extended to those who don’t have a terminal illness. Yet, increasingly, very old people, without a terminal illness, who feel that they have lived too long, are arguing that they also have a right to such assistance.</p> <p>Media coverage of <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2018/05/09/this-104-year-old-plans-to-die-tomorrow-and-hopes-to-change-views-on-assisted-suicide/?utm_term=.b00a9036f9bc">David Goodall</a>, the 104-year-old Australian scientist who travelled to Switzerland for assisted dying, demonstrates the level of public interest in ethical dilemmas at the <a href="https://www.bmj.com/content/361/bmj.k1891.full">extremities of life</a>. Goodall wanted to die because he no longer enjoyed life. Shortly before his death, he told reporters that he spends most of his day just sitting. “What’s the use of that?” he asked.</p> <p><a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0277953615002889?via%3Dihub">Research</a> shows that life can be a constant struggle for the very old, with social connections hard to sustain and health increasingly fragile. <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25982088">Studies</a> looking specifically at the motivation for assisted dying among the very old show that many feel a deep sense of loneliness, tiredness, an inability to express their individuality by taking part in activities that are important to them, and a hatred of dependency.</p> <p>Of the jurisdictions where assisted dying is legal, some make suffering the determinant (Canada, for example). Others require a prognosis of six months (California, for example). Mainly, though, the focus is on people who have a terminal illness because it is seen as less of an ethical problem to hasten the death of someone who is already dying than someone who is simply tired of life.</p> <h2>Why give precedence to physical suffering?</h2> <p>Assisted dying for people with psychological or existential reasons for wanting to end their life is unlikely to be supported by doctors because it is not objectively verifiable and also potentially remediable. In the Netherlands, despite the legal power to offer assistance where there is no life-limiting illness, doctors are <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25693947">seldom convinced</a> of the unbearable nature of non-physical suffering, and so will rarely administer a lethal dose in such cases.</p> <p>Although doctors may look to a physical diagnosis to give them confidence in their decision to hasten a patient’s death, physical symptoms are often not mentioned by the people they are assisting. Instead, the most common reason given by those who have received help to die is <a href="https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMms1700606">loss of autonomy</a>. Other common reasons are to avoid burdening others and not being able to enjoy one’s life – the exact same reason given by Goodall. This suggests that requests from people with terminal illness, and from those who are just very old and ready to go, are not as different as both the law – and doctors’ interpretation of the law – claim them to be.</p> <h2>Sympathetic coverage</h2> <p>It seems that the general public does not draw a clear distinction either. Most of the media coverage of Goodall’s journey to Switzerland was sympathetic, to the dismay of <a href="http://www.carenotkilling.org.uk/press-releases/centenarians-assisted-suicide/">opponents</a> of assisted dying.</p> <p>Media reports about <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2014/sep/02/mary-berry-great-british-bake-off-centenarian-assisted-dying">ageing celebrities</a> endorsing assisted dying in cases of both terminal illness and very old age, blur the distinction still further.</p> <p>One of the reasons for this categorical confusion is that, at root, this debate is about what a good death looks like, and this doesn’t rely on prognosis; it relies on <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/01459740.2016.1255610">personality</a>. And, it’s worth remembering, the personalities of the very old are as diverse as those of the very young.</p> <p>Discussion of assisted suicide often focuses on concerns that some older people may be exposed to coercion by carers or family members. But older people also play another role in this debate. They make up the rank and file <a href="http://www.ep.liu.se/ej/ijal/2012/v7/i1/a01/ijal12v7i1a01.pdf">activists</a> of the global right-to-die movement. In this conflict of rights, protectionist impulses conflict with these older activists’ demands to die on their own terms and at a time of their own choosing.</p> <p>In light of the <a href="https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/worlds-older-population-grows-dramatically">unprecedented ageing</a> of the world’s population and increasing longevity, it is important to think about what a good death looks like in deep old age. In an era when more jurisdictions are passing laws to permit doctor-assisted dying, the choreographed death of a 104-year-old, who died listening to Ode to Joy after enjoying a last fish supper, starts to look like a socially approved good death.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/96589/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/naomi-richards-182120">Naomi Richards</a>, Lecturer in Social Science (End of Life Studies), <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-glasgow-1269">University of Glasgow</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-does-a-good-death-look-like-when-youre-really-old-and-ready-to-go-96589">original article</a>.</em></p>

Caring

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Your Go-To guide to game-changing Christmas skincare

<p dir="ltr">When it comes to Christmas presents, it’s hard to go wrong with skincare, makeup or anything in the general “self-care” space. </p> <p dir="ltr">This Christmas, <a href="https://gotoskincare.com/collections/holiday-2024">Go-To</a> (the revolutionary skincare brand founded by Zoe Foster-Blake) have released their most beautiful collection yet in collaboration with Alémais to deliver the very best in feeling good, for any budget. </p> <p dir="ltr">With 11 extremely limited gifts and sets to help you spread some serious cheer this season, you’ll find something for everyone, whether it’s for your daughter, granddaughter, neighbour, or that one friend that is always looking to level up their skincare routine. </p> <p dir="ltr">For the second year running, Go-To’s undeniably unique print and packaging is thanks to a local collaboration with Alémais, celebrating the very vibrant and zesty DNA of both brands.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/DBsyJSnxTMY/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/DBsyJSnxTMY/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Go-To (@gotoskincare)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">The gorgeous gift sets start at just $26 with Perfect Present, or for those looking more on the luxury side, the $300 must-have Facial In A Box has everything you need.</p> <p dir="ltr">You’ll also spot several never-before-seen items from Go-To, like, Bon Bons, a trio of tinted lip balms, and custom tarot cards.</p> <p dir="ltr">In addition to all the stunning skincare, Go-To have created gifts that live on as keepsakes, such as the signature silk pillowcase and matching silk eye mask.</p> <p dir="ltr">Or, if you can’t pick just one gift for that special someone, or you want to treat yourself and just can’t wait until December 25th, the 12 Days Of Go-To advent calendar is filled with so many merry items of merch paired with the effective, quality, clinically-proven skincare you know, love and need.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/DBrsRwlJRsG/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/DBrsRwlJRsG/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Go-To (@gotoskincare)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">The Go-To treats are ones you can feel good about in more ways than one, as Go-To is donating $1 from all marked gifts and sets, to their 2024 charity partner, Orange Sky: a not-for-profit that provides complimentary laundry services and warm showers to people in the community who are experiencing homelessness and hardship.</p> <p dir="ltr">With this glorious fusion of colour, wonderfully wacky motifs, and giving to those in need in the spirit of Christmas, Go-To has a gift for everyone in their most coveted holiday collection to date.</p> <p dir="ltr">The Go-To Christmas range is available at <a href="https://www.mecca.com/en-au/go-to/">Mecca</a>, both in-store and online, and on the official <a href="https://gotoskincare.com/collections/holiday-2024">Go-To</a> website.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Shutterstock / Instagram </em></p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-bb2c25c8-7fff-6953-de80-1b3c24792a23"></span></p>

Beauty & Style

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Grave cleaning videos are going viral on TikTok. Are they honouring the dead, or exploiting them?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/edith-jennifer-hill-1018412">Edith Jennifer Hill</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/flinders-university-972">Flinders University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/marina-deller-947925">Marina Deller</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/flinders-university-972">Flinders University</a></em></p> <p>Cleaning the graves of strangers is the latest content trend taking over TikTok. But as millions tune in to watch the videos, it’s becoming clear not all of them are created equal. Two grave-cleaning creators in particular seem to reside at opposite ends of the trend.</p> <p>One of the first accounts to gain popularity for grave cleaning was <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@ladytaphos">@ladytaphos</a>. This account is run by Alicia Williams, a Virginia resident who treats the graves with great dignity. Williams will often share the story of the person residing within, and acts with grace and kindness as she restores beauty to the <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@ladytaphos/video/7197894295641148714">graves</a>.</p> <p>On the other end of the spectrum is Kaeli Mae McEwen, or <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@_the_clean_girl">@the_clean_girl</a>, who leans into more clickbait-y tactics. McEwen is known for throwing a pink spiky ball through a graveyard and cleaning the grave it lands on. She also uses her videos to promote her own pink foamy cleaner (which at one point could be purchased via a link in her bio).</p> <h2>Cleaning and death</h2> <p>While Williams’ and McEwen’s videos may seem novel to some, death and cleaning have a long and varied relationship that spans time and cultures.</p> <p>Washing a loved one’s body before burial or cremation isn’t just practical – it’s a significant <a href="https://www.theage.com.au/national/victoria/washing-and-dressing-our-dead-the-movement-challenging-how-we-grieve-20230510-p5d794.html">ritual</a> that provides meaning during a period of grief. In certain cultures and religions it’s also a process of purification, or preparation for the afterlife.</p> <p>Much has been written about cleaning and clearing out the homes of deceased people. Family members often won’t agree on how to approach such a task. In his <a href="https://theconversation.com/friday-essay-grief-and-things-of-stone-wood-and-wool-136721">essay on death and objects</a>, author Tony Birch writes about his mother clearing out his grandmother’s house.</p> <p>“My mother decided that our first task after her death was to empty out her Housing Commission flat and scrub it clean,” Birch writes.</p> <p>He first laments the move, but later recognises the value of cleaning together before sorting – and treasuring – the items his grandmother left behind.</p> <p>Margaretta Magnuson’s 2017 book, <a href="https://www.google.com.au/books/edition/The_Gentle_Art_of_Swedish_Death_Cleaning/uW00DwAAQBAJ?hl=en&amp;gbpv=1&amp;pg=PT7&amp;printsec=frontcover">The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning</a>, is a humorous and thoughtful introduction to the Swedish movement of <em>döstädning</em>. The book (and subsequent <a href="https://www.sbs.com.au/ondemand/tv-series/the-gentle-art-of-swedish-death-cleaning">reality TV series</a>) has sparked various conversations on death and cleaning, and especially on cleaning before you yourself pass away so you don’t leave a mess for your loved ones.</p> <p>Grave cleaning can be seen as another continuation of caring for the deceased. People who decide to clean the graves of strangers may do so out of <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/society/2022/sep/04/how-gravetok-videos-of-cleaning-headstones-went-viral">respect</a>, or in an attempt to <a href="https://www.buzzfeed.com/alexalisitza/tiktok-woman-cleans-old-gravestones">give them “their name back”</a> (as names on graves become visible following the removal of debris).</p> <h2>Two very different approaches</h2> <p>Williams and McEwen are received quite differently by viewers. Anecdotally, viewers respond more positively to the calmer and more respectful cleaning videos by Williams, who takes time to explain the process while ensuring the correct products are used.</p> <p>Meanwhile, many find McEwen’s videos problematic and criticise her for not adhering to proper graveyard decorum. McEwen makes a spectacle of sites of mourning, such as by pretending to vacuum graves, replacing flowers placed by others and making jokes. Viewers also speculate the products she uses may cause damage to the graves.</p> <p>Perceived intent plays a role in how each creator’s content is received. While Williams focuses on respectfully restoring graves to their former glory, McEwen positions herself as the focus and merely uses the graves for content.</p> <h2>A complex emotional object</h2> <p>Similar to other funerary objects such as coffins and urns, graves are associated with both the person who died and the fact of their death. As such, they are emotionally complex objects that bring both strength and sadness to those left behind.</p> <p>But graves are unique also in that they are private objects of grief exposed in a public context. Anyone visiting the graveyard can view and interact with them. Does that make them “fair game” for content creators?</p> <p>Graves don’t just represent deceased loved ones. They can also act as stand-ins in their absence, becoming stone bodies of sorts. As sociologist Margaret Gibson describes in her book <a href="https://www.mup.com.au/books/objects-of-the-dead-paperback-softback">Objects of the Dead: Mourning and Memory in Everyday Life</a>, “death reconstructs our experience of objects”.</p> <p>“There is the strangeness of realising that things have outlived persons, and, in this regard, the materiality of things is shown to be more permanent than the materiality of the body,” she says.</p> <p>Caring for and cleaning graves can therefore be interpreted as caring for the deceased, by extending their existence through the materiality of their resting place.</p> <p>Psychological researcher <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/1600910X.2018.1521339">Svend Brinkmann asserts</a> artefacts such as graves are “culturally sanctioned”, gaining “significance from a collective system of meaning”.</p> <p>In other words, we as a community create and uphold reverence for such items. This is partly why the desecration of graves is viewed as abhorrent. It is societally understood to be a desecration of the person themselves. It’s also why content creators must tread lightly.</p> <h2>A reason for haunting?</h2> <p>There are ways to interact with gravestones (and even create content) which acknowledge their complexity and connection to their owners.</p> <p>TikTok creator Rosie Grant (<a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@ghostlyarchive?lang=en">@ghostlyarchive</a>) bakes recipes found on headstones and records the process. She has even met with the families of the deceased <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/food-and-drink/defining-dishes-ghostly-archive-tiktok-b2414122.html">to make the recipes together</a> and learn more about the people behind the engraving-worthy food.</p> <p>However, randomly cleaning the graves of strangers is fraught territory – and rife with potential privacy issues. It isn’t clear whether McEwen seeks permission from loved ones before cleaning graves, but contextually this seems unlikely.</p> <p><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKkOS2GjCxk">Recent discussions</a> have also uncovered questionable editing in her videos. Some graves in her before-and-after videos have been edited to appear cleaner and to have their structure altered. McEwen’s pink foaming cleaner also appears to be a blue cleaner edited to appear pink, raising even more questions about intent and responsibility.</p> <p>While McEwen claims to be “honouring” lives by cleaning “final resting places”, the consensus from viewers is her actions are dishonourable. As one host <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKkOS2GjCxk">commented on a in podcast</a> discussing McEwen cleaning a baby’s grave while speaking in a kiddish voice: “F**k you, you’re going to get haunted.”<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/240553/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/edith-jennifer-hill-1018412">Edith Jennifer Hill</a>, Associate Lecturer, Learning &amp; Teaching Innovation, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/flinders-university-972">Flinders University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/marina-deller-947925">Marina Deller</a>, Casual Academic, Creative Writing and English Literature, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/flinders-university-972">Flinders University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/grave-cleaning-videos-are-going-viral-on-tiktok-are-they-honouring-the-dead-or-exploiting-them-240553">original article</a>.</em></p>

Caring

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Is it worth selling my house if I’m going into aged care?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/colin-zhang-1234147">Colin Zhang</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/macquarie-university-1174">Macquarie University</a></em></p> <p>For senior Australians who cannot live independently at home, residential aged care can provide accommodation, personal care and general health care.</p> <p>People usually think this is expensive. And many assume they need to sell their home to pay for a lump-sum deposit.</p> <p>But that’s not necessarily the case. Here’s what you need to consider.</p> <h2>You may get some financial support</h2> <p>Fees for residential aged care are complex and can be confusing. Some are for your daily care, some are means-tested, some are for your accommodation and some pay for extras, such as cable TV.</p> <p>But it’s easier to think of these fees as falling into two categories:</p> <ul> <li> <p>an “entry deposit”, which is usually more than <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/sites/default/files/documents/2020/06/eighth-report-on-the-funding-and-financing-of-the-aged-care-industry-july-2020-eighth-report-on-the-funding-and-financing-of-the-aged-care-industry-may-2020.pdf">$A300,000</a>, and is refunded when you leave aged care</p> </li> <li> <p>daily “<a href="https://www.myagedcare.gov.au/aged-care-home-costs-and-fees">ongoing fees</a>”, which are $52.71-$300 a day, or more. These cover the basic daily fee, which everyone pays, and the means-tested care fee.</p> </li> </ul> <p>To find out how much government support you’ll receive for both these categories, you will have a “<a href="https://www.myagedcare.gov.au/income-and-means-assessments/#aged-care-home">means test</a>” to assess your income and assets. This means test is similar (but different) to the means test for the aged pension.</p> <p>Generally speaking, the lower your aged-care means test amount, the more government support you’ll receive for aged care.</p> <p>With full support, you don’t need to pay an “entry deposit”. But you still need to pay the basic daily fee (currently, <a href="https://www.myagedcare.gov.au/aged-care-home-costs-and-fees">$52.71</a> a day), equivalent to 85% of your aged pension. If you get partial support, you pay less for your “entry deposit” and ongoing fees.</p> <h2>You don’t need a lump sum</h2> <p>You don’t have to pay for your “entry deposit” as a lump sum. You can choose to pay a rental-style daily cost instead.</p> <p>This is calculated as follows: you multiply the amount of the required “entry deposit” by the maximum permissible interest rate. This rate is set by government and is currently at <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/sites/default/files/documents/2021/03/schedule-of-fees-and-charges-for-residential-and-home-care-schedule-from-20-march-2021_0.pdf">4.01%</a> per year for new residents. Then you divide that sum by 365 to give a daily rate. This option is like borrowing money to pay for your “entry deposit” via an interest-only loan.</p> <p>You can also pay for your “entry deposit” with a combination of a lump sum and a daily rental cost.</p> <p>As it’s not compulsory to pay a lump sum for your “entry deposit”, you have different options for dealing with your family home.</p> <h2>Option 1: keep your house and rent it out</h2> <p>This allows you to use the rental-style daily cost to finance your “entry deposit”.</p> <p><strong>Pros</strong></p> <ul> <li> <p>you could have more income from rent. This can help pay for the rental-style daily cost and “ongoing fees” of aged care</p> </li> <li> <p>you might have a special sentimental attachment to your family house. So keeping it might be a less confronting option</p> </li> <li> <p>keeping an expensive family house will not heavily impact your residential aged care cost. That’s because any value of your family house above <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/sites/default/files/documents/2021/03/schedule-of-fees-and-charges-for-residential-and-home-care-schedule-from-20-march-2021_0.pdf">$173,075.20</a> will be excluded from your <a href="https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/organisations/health-professionals/services/aged-care-entry-requirements-providers/residential-care/residential-aged-care-means-assessment">means test</a></p> </li> <li> <p>you can still access the capital gains of your house, as house prices rise.</p> </li> </ul> <p><strong>Cons</strong></p> <ul> <li> <p>your rental income needs to be included in the means test for your aged pension. So you might get less aged pension</p> </li> <li> <p>you might need to pay income tax on the rental income</p> </li> <li> <p>compared to the lump sum payment, choosing the rental-style daily cost means you will end up <a href="https://www.smh.com.au/money/super-and-retirement/seek-help-when-weighing-up-how-to-pay-for-your-aged-care-20191202-p53g16.html">paying more</a></p> </li> <li> <p>you are subject to a changing rental market.</p> </li> </ul> <h2>Option 2: keep your house and rent it out, with a twist</h2> <p>If you have some savings, you can use a combination of a lump sum and daily rental cost to pay for your “entry deposit”.</p> <p><strong>Pros</strong></p> <ul> <li> <p>like option 1, you can keep your house and have a steady income</p> </li> <li> <p>the amount of lump sum deposit will not be counted as an asset in the pension means test.</p> </li> </ul> <p><strong>Cons</strong></p> <ul> <li> <p>like option 1, you could have less pension income, higher age-care costs and need to pay more income tax</p> </li> <li> <p>you have less liquid assets (assets you could quickly sell or access), which could be handy in an emergency.</p> </li> </ul> <h2>Option 3: sell your house</h2> <p>If you sell your house, you can use all or part of the proceeds to pay for your “entry deposit”.</p> <p><strong>Pros</strong></p> <ul> <li> <p>if you have any money left over after selling your house and paying for your “entry deposit”, you can invest the rest</p> </li> <li> <p>as your “entry deposit” is exempt from your aged pension means test, it means more pension income.</p> </li> </ul> <p><strong>Cons</strong></p> <ul> <li>if you have money left over after selling your house, this will be included in the aged-care means test. So you can end up with less financial support for aged care.</li> </ul> <h2>In a nutshell</h2> <p>Keeping your house and renting it out (option 1 or 2) can give you a better income stream, which you can use to cover other living costs. And if you’re not concerned about having access to liquid assets in an emergency, option 2 can be better for you than option 1.</p> <p>But selling your house (option 3) avoids you being exposed to a changing rental market, particularly if the economy is going into recession. It also gives you more capital, and you don’t need to pay a rental-style daily cost.</p> <hr /> <p><em>This article is general in nature, and should not be considered financial advice. For advice tailored to your individual situation and your personal finances, please see a qualified financial planner.</em></p> <p><em>Correction: this article previously stated the amount of lump sum deposit will not be counted as an asset in the aged-care means test, as a pro of option 2. In fact, the amount of lump sum deposit will not be counted as an asset in the pension means test.</em><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/161674/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/colin-zhang-1234147"><em>Colin Zhang</em></a><em>, Lecturer, Department of Actuarial Studies and Business Analytics, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/macquarie-university-1174">Macquarie University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-it-worth-selling-my-house-if-im-going-into-aged-care-161674">original article</a>.</em></p>

Retirement Income

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Readers response: What is one country you'll never go to?

<p>When it comes to travelling, everyone has a list of places they are dying to go to.</p> <p>In the same token, lots of travellers have placed they have no interest of ever seeing. </p> <p>We asked our readers what country they will never go to, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. </p> <p><strong>Kathy Yeo</strong> - Saudi Arabia or any other country where women have few rights and are treated as possessions.</p> <p><strong>Irene Dodds</strong> - USA. </p> <p><strong>Jim Cormack</strong> - Indonesia, in particular Bali. </p> <p><strong>Roz Eberhard-Swan</strong> - After 132 countries, I can say that I will never return to Russia, China &amp; Cuba. And will now add Afghanistan to that list. Sadly, the USA also is now out of control with their gun laws and politics so probably unlikely to go back there either.</p> <p><strong>Carole Harris</strong> - Russia. I have been and wanted to go back, but never will now.</p> <p><strong>Kath Wilkinson</strong> - Afghanistan. Their treatment of women should turn anyone off!</p> <p><strong>Karen Ambrose</strong> - Probably America due to their pathetic gun laws.</p> <p><strong>Debra Joy </strong>- Spain. I'll never go while they still do bull fighting. Disgusting and abhorrent.</p> <p><strong>George Quinn</strong> - Egypt. Never again! After 35 countries, it's the only place I never felt safe.</p> <p><strong>Janice Brigg</strong> - Bali. Never been here and it is of no interest to us. There are so many other beautiful other places to visit. So far travelled to 58 counties.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p>

Travel Trouble

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The internet is worse than it used to be. How did we get here, and can we go back?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/marc-cheong-998488">Marc Cheong</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/wonsun-shin-1300054">Wonsun Shin</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722"><em>The University of Melbourne</em></a></em></p> <p>When it comes to our experience of the internet, “the times, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Times_They_Are_a-Changin%27_(song)">they are a-changin’</a>”, as Bob Dylan would say. You can’t quite recall how, but the internet certainly feels different these days.</p> <p>To some, it is “<a href="https://www.npr.org/2024/01/16/1224878097/everyday-users-are-complaining-that-the-internet-is-more-chaotic-than-ever">less fun and less informative</a>” than it used to be. To others, online searches are made up of “<a href="https://www.theverge.com/c/23998379/google-search-seo-algorithm-webpage-optimization?src=longreads">cookie cutter</a>” pages that drown out useful information and are saturated with scams, spam and content generated by artificial intelligence (AI).</p> <p>Your social media feeds are full of eye-catching, provocative, hyper-targeted, or anger-inducing content, from <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-dead-internet-theory-makes-eerie-claims-about-an-ai-run-web-the-truth-is-more-sinister-229609">bizarre AI-generated imagery</a> to robot-like comments. You’re lucky if your video feeds are not solely made up of exhortations to “subscribe”.</p> <p>How did we get here? And can we claw our way back?</p> <h2>Commercial interests rule</h2> <p>One major factor contributing to the current state of the internet is its over-commercialisation: financial motives drive much of the content. This has arguably led to the prevalence of sensationalism, prioritising virality over information quality.</p> <p>Covert and deceptive advertising is widespread, blurring the line between commercial and non-commercial content to attract more attention and engagement.</p> <p>Another driving force is the dominance of tech giants like Google, Meta and Amazon. They reach billions worldwide and wield immense power over the content we consume.</p> <p>Their platforms use advanced tracking technologies and opaque algorithms to generate hyper-targeted media content, powered by extensive user data. This creates <a href="https://www.campaignasia.com/article/the-echo-chamber-effect-how-algorithms-shape-our-worldview/491762">filter bubbles</a>, where users are exposed to limited content that reinforces their existing beliefs and biases, and <a href="https://philarchive.org/archive/NGUECA">echo chambers</a> where other viewpoints are actively discredited.</p> <p>Bad actors like <a href="https://abcnews.go.com/Technology/ai-fuel-financial-scams-online-industry-experts/story?id=103732051">cyber criminals and scammers</a> have been an enduring problem online. However, evolving technology like generative AI has further empowered them, enabling them to create highly realistic fake images, deepfake videos and <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/science/annals-of-artificial-intelligence/the-terrifying-ai-scam-that-uses-your-loved-ones-voice">voice cloning</a>.</p> <p>AI’s ability to automate content creation has also flooded the internet with low-quality, misleading and harmful material at an unprecedented scale.</p> <p>In sum, the accelerated commercialisation of the internet, the dominance of media tech giants and the presence of bad actors have infiltrated content on the internet. The rise of AI further intensifies this, making the internet more chaotic than ever.</p> <h2>Some of the ‘good’ internet remains</h2> <p>So, what was the “good internet” some of us long for with nostalgia?</p> <p>At the outset, the internet was meant to be a free egalitarian space people were meant to “surf” and “browse”. Knowledge was meant to be shared: sites such as Wikipedia and The Internet Archive are continuing bastions of knowledge.</p> <p>Before the advent of filter bubbles, the internet was a creative playground where people explored different ideas, discussed varying perspectives, and collaborated with individuals from “outgroups” – those outside their social circles who may hold opposing views.</p> <p>Early social media platforms were built on the ethos of reconnecting with long-lost classmates and family members. Many of us have community groups, acquaintances and family we reach out to via the internet. The “connection” aspect of the internet remains as important as ever – as we all saw during the COVID pandemic.</p> <p>What else do we want to preserve? Privacy. A New Yorker cartoon joke in 1993 stated that “<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20051029045942/http://www.unc.edu/depts/jomc/academics/dri/idog.html">on the internet, nobody knows you’re a dog</a>”. Now everyone – especially advertisers – wants to know who you are. To quote the <a href="https://www.oaic.gov.au/privacy/your-privacy-rights/your-personal-information/what-is-privacy">Office of the Australian Information Commissioner</a>, one of the tenets of privacy is “to be able to control who can see or use information about you”.</p> <p>At the very least, we want to control what big tech knows about us, especially if they could stand to profit from it.</p> <h2>Can we ever go back?</h2> <p>We can’t control “a changin’” times, but we can keep as much of the good parts as we can.</p> <p>For starters, we can vote with our feet. Users can enact change and bring awareness to problems on existing platforms. In recent times, we have seen this with the <a href="https://theconversation.com/thinking-of-breaking-up-with-twitter-heres-the-right-way-to-do-it-195002">exodus of users</a> from X (formerly Twitter) to other platforms, and the <a href="https://www.economist.com/the-economist-explains/2023/06/26/why-reddit-users-are-protesting-against-the-sites-leadership">platform-wide protest against Reddit</a> for changing its third-party data access policies.</p> <p>However, voting with our feet is only possible when there’s competition. In the case of X, various other platforms – from Mastodon to Threads to Bluesky – enable users to pick one that aligns with their preferences, values and social circles. Search engines have alternatives, too, such as DuckDuckGo or Ecosia.</p> <p>But competition can only be created by moving to decentralised systems and removing monopolies. This actually happened in the early days of the internet during the 1990s “<a href="https://thehistoryoftheweb.com/browser-wars/">browser wars</a>”, when Microsoft was eventually accused of illegally monopolising the web browser market in <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_v._Microsoft_Corp.">a landmark court case</a>.</p> <p>As users of technology, all of us must remain vigilant about threats to our privacy and knowledge. With cheap and ubiquitous generative AI, misleading content and scams are more realistic as ever.</p> <p>We must exercise healthy scepticism and ensure those most at risk from online threats – such as children and older people – are educated about potential harms.</p> <p>Remember, the internet is not optimised for your best interests. It’s up to you to decide how much power you give to the tech giants who are fuelling theirs.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/236513/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/marc-cheong-998488">Marc Cheong</a>, Senior Lecturer of Information Systems, School of Computing and Information Systems; and (Honorary) Senior Fellow, Melbourne Law School, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/wonsun-shin-1300054">Wonsun Shin</a>, Associate Professor in Media and Communications, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-internet-is-worse-than-it-used-to-be-how-did-we-get-here-and-can-we-go-back-236513">original article</a>.</em></p>

Technology

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Travel experts share their go-to hacks to transform your holiday

<p dir="ltr">A group of travel experts have shared their holy grail hacks to transform your next holiday. </p> <p dir="ltr">From the best days to book your flights, to how to score an upgrade at a hotel, these seasoned travellers told the <em><a href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/article-13772593/Twenty-one-travel-hacks-transform-holiday-trick-getting-hotel-upgrade-cheapest-days-book-flights-expert-advice-Mails-experts.html">Mail Online</a></em> how to get the most out of your next trip. </p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Pay in the local currency </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">When you make a transaction via card in a foreign country, EFTPOS machines will often prompt you if you want to pay in your home currency or the local currency. </p> <p dir="ltr">By opting for the local currency, you can avoid potentially unfavourable currency conversions made by retailers, as the transaction will be made according to the standard daily rates set by Visa or MasterCard.</p> <p dir="ltr">Likewise, if withdrawing currency from a foreign ATM, always select the local currency to avoid paying the Dynamic Currency Conversion (DCC), which is effectively a way to squeeze more cash out of unwitting customers.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Book a midweek flight </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Travellers are usually keen to book flights between Thursday and Monday to line up with the beginning and end of the week. </p> <p dir="ltr">However, flights booked midweek, especially from Monday to Wednesday, are consistently around 20-30 per cent less than at the weekend.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Connect with an eSim card</strong></p> <p dir="ltr">To avoid extortionate overseas data roaming charges, those travelling abroad should invest in an eSim card to keep using your phone on holiday. </p> <p dir="ltr">An eSim is cheaper and less hassle than dealing with buying an international physical Sim card, and can be changed for the best fees depending on regions.  </p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Book your hotel direct </strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Many travellers opt to book their accommodation through a third-party after being enticed by deals, book now pay later schemes, or the abundance of options. </p> <p dir="ltr">However the <em>Daily Mail’s </em>Inspector hotel reviewer says “it almost always pays” to call and say you have seen a price that is lower than on the hotel’s website elsewhere.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Quite often you will get a lower rate, or an upgrade or a complimentary bottle in your room or a voucher for a drink at the bar,” the reporter says.</p> <p dir="ltr">By calling the hotel and asking them to match a price found on a third party site, you can often score the lower price, and even a better room. </p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Never use airport currency exchange booths</strong></p> <p dir="ltr">Currency exchange booths at airports are notorious for jacking up their conversion fees, meaning unsuspecting travellers can pay more to get their own money. </p> <p dir="ltr">It’s best not to leave cash conversion until the last minute. In the weeks before your trip, shop around at other exchange offices to ensure you’re getting the best rate on your own cash.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Shutterstock  </em></p>

Travel Tips

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Readers response: If you could spend your retirement anywhere in the world, where would you go?

<p>When it comes to retirement, many people decide to spend their golden years travelling the globe. </p> <p>Alternatively, others prefer to stay closer to come to spend valuable quality time with their closest friends and family. </p> <p>We asked our readers where they would spend their retirement if they could choose anywhere in the world, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. </p> <p><strong>Tracee Williams Mason</strong> - A cruise ship.</p> <p><strong>Kay Little-Ohmsen</strong> - Right where I am. Sunshine Coast and have been for 48 years.</p> <p><strong>Cheryl Barrett</strong> - On the Greek island of Naxos.</p> <p><strong>Bruce Hopkins</strong> - Travelling around the world.</p> <p><strong>Bob Holl</strong> - Cruising the Whitsunday Islands. </p> <p><strong>Steve Tracy</strong> - Back to Japan where I spent the 25 happiest years of my life.</p> <p><strong>Terry Dolman</strong> - Where I live in South Australia for half the year, Vietnam for the other half. </p> <p><strong>Bev Martin</strong> - Florida.</p> <p><strong>Sandra Tiplady Schellings</strong> - At the beach!</p> <p><strong>Sonia Davis</strong> - Darwin. </p> <p><strong>Sally O'Neill</strong> - European cruise and cruising around the Greek Isles.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p> </p>

International Travel

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Woman “bullied” on plane over budget seating trick

<p dir="ltr">A young woman has recalled a flight from hell when she was “bullied” by a couple who were trying to utilise a seating hack that went viral on TikTok. </p> <p dir="ltr">The solo traveller took to Reddit to recount the story and ask social media users if she was in the wrong for her action. </p> <p dir="ltr">The woman began by saying she usually pays more to select her plane seat ahead of time, but a medical emergency on another plane had her waiting on standby and left with no option other than to sit in a middle seat.</p> <p dir="ltr">When she was finally able to board, she was greeted by a couple who had purchased both the window and aisle seats in a bid to have more space, utilising a travel “trick” that has been popular on TikTok.</p> <p dir="ltr">The method, which has been dubbed the 'poor man's business class', usually leaves travellers with an empty middle seat and more space, and few travellers opt to pick a middle seat. </p> <p dir="ltr">“When I got to my row the man and woman were chatting and sharing a snack... it was obvious they were together. I mentioned to the man that I'm in the middle, and he got up to let me in,” the unsuspecting traveller wrote on Reddit.  </p> <p dir="ltr">“I asked them if they would prefer to sit together, I said I was totally okay with that. The woman reacted rudely to this and said ‘you're not supposed to be sitting here anyway’.”</p> <p dir="ltr">After noticing how the plane was full, she offered to show the pair her new ticket with the correct seat number on it.</p> <p dir="ltr">“She flicked her hand at my ticket and made a disgusted sound. I offered again if they wanted to sit together to which she didn't reply, her partner said it's okay and... made some small talk,” she continued. </p> <p dir="ltr">The man’s girlfriend then interrupted their conversation to ask,”'Did you use one of those third party websites to book your flight? It's so frustrating when people cheap out to inconvenience others.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The American woman explained that she had booked her flight directly and she had been placed on standby like everyone else and didn't choose the middle seat - she was assigned it.</p> <p dir="ltr">She then tried to keep the peace by refusing to engage with the furious woman.  </p> <p dir="ltr">“I was so done with her attitude, I put my headphones on and attempted to do my own thing,” she explained.</p> <p dir="ltr">But the “entitled” girlfriend wasn't letting it go, as the woman explained, “This woman kept reaching over me and tapping her partner and trying to talk to him in a way that was super intrusive.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“I could tell even her partner was trying to engage her less so that she would hopefully stop, but she didn't.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“I think they tried to pull that tactic where they don't sit together on purpose...hoping no one will sit between them. But on full flights it doesn't work. And even so - it's not the other person's fault.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The traveller's post was met with hundreds of comments slamming the girlfriend’s behaviour, as one person wrote, “It's like a toddler having a tantrum.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“She was disappointed and a total a**hole. Gross entitled people,” another added. </p> <p dir="ltr">Another person applauded the traveller’s level-headed behaviour, writing, “Wow! You are my hero for keeping it classy - I’m afraid I would not have been as kind as you.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Travel Trouble

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Drawings by teen Queen Victoria to go up for auction

<p>A set of 19th century drawings made by a teenage Queen Victoria will be put up for sale at the Old Master, British and European Pictures auction in Roseberys, London next week. </p> <p>A few of the sketches were made when the royal - who reigned from 1837 until her death in 1901 - was still a princess and just 14 years old. </p> <p>Dated July 1833, the drawings depict a knight, a woman, and a veiled woman on a horseback. </p> <p>The fourth drawing was made a year after she ascended the throne, and depicted a woman sitting with a crown and sash, similar to herself, with the inscription: "by Her Majesty." </p> <p>Charlotte Russell, Head of Sales at the auction house, said: "These slightly early drawings show that maybe she was still learning a lot, that she was still honing her craft." </p> <p>"She was very curious and keen as an artist," Russell told <em>CNN</em>.</p> <p>Roseberys set an estimated sale price of £1,500 to £2,500 ($AU2853 to $4755) for the album with the four sketches, as well as works by other artists.  </p> <p>Russel added that the album was likely assembled by Augusta Hayter, daughter-in-law of George Hayter, who was the Queen's court painter and painted her coronation portrait. </p> <p>The album also features royal ephemera, including an invitation to the coronation of King George IV at Westminster Abbey in 1821.</p> <p>"I'm interested to see how it performs," Russell said. </p> <p>Queen Victoria was very passionate about art, receiving her first drawing lesson at just eight years old. </p> <p>She went on to be tutored by renowned artists like Edwin Landseer, William Leighton Leitch and Franz Xaver Winterhalter.</p> <p>"She is known to have experimented quite a lot with different subjects," Russel said, adding that Victoria would make "little sketches of costumes of people in the areas" where she travelled.</p> <p><em>Images: Roseberys Fine Art Auctioneers &amp; Valuers via CNN/ Shutterstock</em></p>

Art

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"Not going to save anybody": Exit row passenger prompts plane evacuation

<p>A whole plane has been forced to disembark after a woman seated in the exit row refused to comply with safety instructions. </p> <p>Passengers were up in arms when they had to leave the plane, after the woman was overheard telling cabin crew that she would only save herself in the event of an emergency, before yelling at flight attendants. </p> <p>The interaction, which was captured by another passenger on video and posted to TikTok, shows the woman becoming heated while talking to cabin crew on the Frontier flight. </p> <p>The passenger can then be seen and heard progressively raising her voice to cabin crew, with fellow flyers pleading with the woman to disembark the plane.</p> <p>The traveller who filmed the altercation claims the woman said she was “not going to save anybody” when seated in the exit row, saying the disgruntled passenger had “attitude” and went on to say that if something were to happen, she would “only save” herself. </p> <p>“That was her attitude throughout the seating process. And I already knew something was about to pop off when she had that attitude,” the TikTok user said.</p> <p>The altercation only became more heated as the yelling progressed, before police eventually arrived on the plane to escort the woman off. </p> <p>The video then shows another Frontier employee approach the passenger and say, “I’m gonna ask you one more time, nicely, to get off, if not, we’re going to deboard the plane and police will come and escort you off.”</p> <p>When the cabin crew make repeated futile attempts to get through the woman, the pilot came down from the cockpit to try and call for calm. </p> <p>“You’re inconveniencing everybody else,” the pilot can be heard saying to the woman. as the pair continue to exchange words while he repeatedly points toward the front of the plane.</p> <p>Following the failed attempts, two police officers then make their way down the aisle and towards the passenger. </p> <p>Towards the end of the five-minute video, which has been viewed more than 80,000 times, all the passengers on board the flight were filmed disembarking the aircraft while the passenger at the centre of the ordeal exits with police from a separate door onto the tarmac.</p> <p>It is unclear if charges were laid.</p> <p><em>Image credits: TikTok</em></p>

Travel Trouble

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5 ways to avoid going overboard on a cruise

<p>Falling overboard is the stuff of cruising nightmares (and it happens surprisingly more frequently than you might think. Just this year we’ve brought you two stories about passengers falling overboard, but this fishy fate is by no means unavoidable.</p> <p>Here are five ways to ensure you keep your feet dry.</p> <p><strong>1. Limit your alcohol intake</strong></p> <p>If the prices weren’t enough of a reason to go easy on the sauce on your cruise, perhaps the risk of tipping over the balcony will persuade you. Think of it this way – the effect of alcohol on a cruise is the same as the effect of alcohol on dry land, but when you’re on a cruise you’re travelling through sometimes heavy seas at about 20 knots.</p> <p><strong>2. Stay in your room during inclement weather</strong></p> <p>If your ship is sailing into dicey conditions, you’re better off keeping to your quarters. You never know how a cruise liner is going to stand up to the ocean’s wrath, and even if you want a good view of Mother Nature’s nasty side, you’re safer below deck. </p> <p><strong>3. Keep clear of dark corners</strong></p> <p>It’s not a very pleasant thing to think about, but when there are 4,000 passengers on a cruise they’re not all going to be good eggs. Be aware of your surroundings, just as you would be on land, and be sure to report any suspicious activity to a crew member.</p> <p><strong>4. Pay attention during the practice drills</strong></p> <p>Even if you’ve been on 20 cruises it’s a good idea to pay attention during the practice drills. This will reinforce what you need to do in an event of an emergency, and might just save your life (or someone else’s by knowing where to find the safety gear).</p> <p><strong>5. Don’t re-enact the <em>Titanic</em> scene</strong></p> <p>Because going overboard will make you look like anything but, “The king of the world.”</p> <p>Have you ever been on a cruise? Did you ever feel unsafe at any point? Let us know in the comments below, we’d love to hear from you.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

Cruising

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"Flower grannies" at their grandkids' wedding go viral

<p>Two grandmothers have stolen the show at their grandkids' wedding as they walked down the aisle as flower girls. </p> <p>The heartwarming moment was captured by wedding photographer Joshua Hugget, who was taking photos at the picturesque wedding in South Australia. </p> <p>The video shows the two grandmothers arm-in-arm, dropping flower petals down the aisle in lieu of the standard young flower girls. </p> <p>The bride, Michaela Treloar, shared with the <em><a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-03-03/grandmothers-who-were-flower-girls-become-viral-sensation/103519006?sf271999625=1&fbclid=IwAR21H0d9_RfQkyBfP6SuyI1L_3KN8a4CdTXqqmx8tEfN8SyIp3FXY_ryqbg_aem_AZyZ59VDrmi0hZ-kcRd9Yncw5hZywZzo313-pUSnNYZJ-K_2Z4fXcOVlFcvX0Gn-E40">ABC</a></em> how she and her partner both “wanted to include our grandmothers into our wedding somehow”, which resulted in the adorable moment.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3hCIP9PgsG/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3hCIP9PgsG/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Joshua Huggett Media (@joshuahuggettmedia)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“They took it on with pride, smashed it, and now they’ve gone viral,” exclaimed Treloar.</p> <p>“It was really cute … each nonna was helping each other get to the end of the aisle, chatting all the way.”</p> <p>The photographer who captured the moment shared that he believes something about the video is relatable to everyone in some way, and that is the secret to its success.</p> <p>“It hits that heart string straight away … it’s the perfect concoction of people saying they want to do that with their grandma, teamed with people saying they wish they could do that with their grandma now that they’d passed,” Joshua shared.</p> <p>The flower grannies shining moment has been viewed millions of times, with many leaving comments praising the married couple for including their grandmothers in their big day. </p> <p>“I have goosebumps head to toe! The smiles on the grannies’ faces …. Priceless!!!!!!!” One user commented. </p> <p>“Hope this trend catches on, it’s truly beautiful!”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Instagram - Joshua Hugget Media</em></p>

Family & Pets

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How to be kind to yourself (without going to a day spa)

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lydia-brown-179583">Lydia Brown</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p>“I have to be hard on myself,” Sarah told me in a recent telehealth psychology session. “I would never reach my potential if I was kind and let myself off the hook.”</p> <p>I could empathise with this fear of self-compassion from clients such as Sarah (not her real name). From a young age, we are taught to be kind to others, but self-kindness is never mentioned.</p> <p>Instead, we are taught success hinges on self-sacrifice. And we need a healthy inner critic to bully us forward into becoming increasingly better versions of ourselves.</p> <p>But <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167212445599">research shows</a> there doesn’t have to be a trade-off between self-compassion and success.</p> <p>Self-compassion can help you reach your potential, while supporting you to face the inevitable stumbles and setbacks along the way.</p> <h2>What is self-compassion?</h2> <p><a href="https://self-compassion.org/">Self-compassion</a> has <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15298860309027">three</a> key ingredients.</p> <p><strong>1. Self-kindness</strong></p> <p>This involves treating yourself with the same kindness you would extend towards a good friend – via your thoughts, feelings and actions – especially during life’s difficult moments.</p> <p>For instance, if you find yourself fixating on a minor mistake you made at work, self-kindness might involve taking a ten-minute walk to shift focus, and reminding yourself it is OK to make mistakes sometimes, before moving on with your day.</p> <p><strong>2. Mindfulness</strong></p> <p>In this context, mindfulness involves being aware of your own experience of stress or suffering, rather than repressing or avoiding your feelings, or over-identifying with them.</p> <p>Basically, you must see your stress with a clear (mindful) perspective before you can respond with kindness. If we avoid or are consumed by our suffering, we lose perspective.</p> <p><strong>3. Common humanity</strong></p> <p>Common humanity involves recognising our own experience of suffering as something that unites us as being human.</p> <p>For instance, a sleep-deprived parent waking up (for the fourth time) to feed their newborn might choose to think about all the other parents around the world doing exactly the same thing – as opposed to feeling isolated and alone.</p> <h2>It’s not about day spas, or booking a manicure</h2> <p>When Sarah voiced her fear that self-compassion would prevent her success, I explained self-compassion is distinct from self-indulgence.</p> <p>“So is self-compassion just about booking in more mani/pedis?” Sarah asked.</p> <p>Not really, I explained. A one-off trip to a day spa is unlikely to transform your mental health.</p> <p>Instead, self-compassion is a flexible <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-031-22348-8_7">psychological resilience factor</a> that shapes our thoughts, feelings and actions.</p> <p>It’s associated with a suite of benefits to our <a href="https://iaap-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/aphw.12051">wellbeing</a>, <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15298868.2011.639548">relationships</a> and <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/17437199.2019.1705872">health</a>.</p> <h2>What does the science say?</h2> <p>Over the past 20 years, we’ve learned self-compassionate people enjoy a wide range of benefits. They tend to be <a href="https://iaap-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/aphw.12051">happier</a> and have <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2012.06.003">fewer psychological symptoms</a> of distress.</p> <p>Those high on self-compassion <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167212445599">persevere</a> following a failure. They say they are more motivated to overcome a personal weakness than those low on self-compassion, who are more likely to give up.</p> <p>So rather than feeling trapped by your inadequacies, self-compassion encourages a <a href="https://hbr.org/2018/09/give-yourself-a-break-the-power-of-self-compassion">growth mindset</a>, helping you reach your potential.</p> <p>However, self-compassion is not a panacea. It will not change your life circumstances or somehow make life “easy”. It is based on the premise that life is hard, and provides practical tools to cope.</p> <h2>It’s a factor in healthy ageing</h2> <p>I research menopause and healthy ageing and am especially interested in the value of self-compassion through menopause and in the second half of life.</p> <p>Because self-compassion becomes important during life’s challenges, it can help people navigate physical symptoms (for instance, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0378512214001649?via%3Dihub">menopausal hot flushes</a>), life transitions such as <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0956797611429466">divorce</a>, and <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-031-22348-8_7">promote healthy ageing</a>.</p> <p>I’ve also teamed up with researchers at <a href="https://www.autismspectrum.org.au/">Autism Spectrum Australia</a> to explore self-compassion in autistic adults.</p> <p>We found autistic adults report significantly <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-022-05668-y">lower levels</a> of self-compassion than neurotypical adults. So we developed an online <a href="https://www.autismspectrum.org.au/blog/new-online-self-compassion-program-for-autistic-adults">self-compassion training program</a> for this at-risk population.</p> <h2>Three tips for self-compassion</h2> <p>You <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/jclp.21923">can learn</a> self-compassion with these three exercises.</p> <p><strong>1. What would you say to a friend?</strong></p> <p>Think back to the last time you made a mistake. What did you say to yourself?</p> <p>If you notice you’re treating yourself more like an enemy than a friend, don’t beat yourself up about it. Instead, try to think about what you might tell a friend, and direct that same friendly language towards yourself.</p> <p><strong>2. Harness the power of touch</strong></p> <p>Soothing human touch <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2020.555058/full">activates</a> the parasympathetic “relaxation” branch of our nervous system and counteracts the fight or flight response.</p> <p>Specifically, self-soothing touch (for instance, by placing both hands on your heart, stroking your forearm or giving yourself a hug) <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2666497621000655">reduces</a> cortisol responses to psychosocial stress.</p> <p><strong>3. What do I need right now?</strong></p> <p>Sometimes, it can be hard to figure out exactly what self-compassion looks like in a given moment. The question “what do I need right now” helps clarify your true needs.</p> <p>For example, when I was 37 weeks pregnant, I woke up bolt awake one morning at 3am.</p> <p>Rather than beating myself up about it, or fretting about not getting enough sleep, I gently placed my hands on my heart and took a few deep breaths. By asking myself “what do I need right now?” it became clear that listening to a gentle podcast/meditation fitted the bill (even though I wanted to addictively scroll my phone).<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/223194/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lydia-brown-179583"><em>Lydia Brown</em></a><em>, Senior Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-be-kind-to-yourself-without-going-to-a-day-spa-223194">original article</a>.</em></p>

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"Go enjoy your life": Young woman announces her own death

<p>A young woman has announced the news of her own death after a gruelling battle with cancer, while sharing her wishes for her grieving loved ones. </p> <p>Daniella Thackray, a 25-year-old from Leeds, took to social media to share the her heart-breaking final words, after an eight-month battle with the rare disease. </p> <p>The young digital marketing specialist had pre-written the message for her family to post on her behalf after dying of cholangiocarcinoma, a type of cancer that forms in the bile ducts.</p> <p>The emotional message paid tribute to her family, fiancé Tom, and dog Leo, as she encouraged her loved ones to “enjoy the little things” in life and “cherish every moment” after she had “gone”.</p> <p>She wrote: “If you’re reading this then it means I have died from my battle with cancer and my family are posting my final message on my behalf.</p> <p>“Firstly, I just want to say that not all cancers are caused by lifestyle choices, in some cases it’s genetics or unfortunately it just happens." </p> <p>“In my case, despite me being very healthy and active, a cancer started in my bile ducts which was not caused by anything in my control and my life was never the same again."</p> <p>“Cholangiocarinoma is a rare aggressive cancer with often no obvious causes and no cure’.. I really really do hope that in the years to come more research is done about this horrid cruel disease so that more lives can be saved.”</p> <p>Despite her devastating diagnosis, she chose “not to mourn life” and make the most of her time. </p> <p>Daniella added: “So with that being said, although we can’t control what happens to us, we can control how we react. I chose not to mourn the life I was losing despite being so devastated, but to instead enjoy every moment I had left."</p> <p>“As I have always said and believed, you should enjoy the little things in life and cherish every moment! Romanticise your life! Do whatever makes you happy and don’t let anyone take the joy of life away from you." </p> <p>“I LOVED my life. Everything I had achieved was what I wanted. I loved my job, my fiancé, my family, my friends and my dog, and the house we were going to buy and the future we were making for ourselves."</p> <p>“Leo my fur baby was definitely brought into my life to help brighten my darkest days."</p> <p>“And lastly to my dear, beautiful Tom, I love you and always will. Thank you for supporting me and bringing so much love and happiness into my life. Go enjoy your life now, you deserve it.”</p> <p>Her message has already gained more than 30,000 likes, while hundreds of people rushed to leave their condolences to her loved ones.</p> <p>One person wrote, "Such courageous words from someone that I’ve never met. What a wonderful message to leave us with, may you rest in paradise.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Facebook</em></p>

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Mother bans in-laws from seeing her baby after they go against her wishes

<p dir="ltr">A woman has banned her in-laws from seeing her newborn daughter after they “betrayed her trust” and directly went against her wishes. </p> <p dir="ltr">The new mum shared the story to Reddit, as she explained why she was cutting contact with her husband’s parents after they pierced her child’s ears without their knowledge or consent. </p> <p dir="ltr">“My husband is from a culture where it's not uncommon to pierce baby girls' ears and his mother started pestering me about getting my daughter's ears pierced a few days after she was born,” the 32-year-old mum began. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I made it clear that I would not be doing that, and that I'd be waiting until she's old enough to ask for it herself. We live in my country where piercing a baby's ears isn't common at all.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The new mum's world soon came crashing down after the baby spent a weekend with her grandparents, before she went back to her parents red in the face and screaming. </p> <p dir="ltr">“My mother-in-law was looking after her over the weekend and decided to pierce her ears without my knowledge or consent.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“When I saw this I threw a fit. My baby was crying in pain, and I actually took her to the doctor to get their advice on whether or not to take them out.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The doctor advised the parent to take the earrings out as they were irritating the baby, but the issue didn’t end there. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I decided at that moment that my mother-in-law and everyone else on that side of the family (except for my sister-in-law, who's on my side about this) is going to have no alone contact with my daughter ever again - or at least until she's a teenager.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“My worry is that she'll do the same thing again, and to be frank, she's lost my trust entirely. I told her that if she had a problem with that, I'd report what she did to the police.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The husband of the baby girl reluctantly sided with his wife over the issue, despite saying it wasn’t a big deal and suggesting everyone move on from the incident.</p> <p dir="ltr">The story prompted a mixed response online, with some people saying the woman was overreacting and should work towards rebuilding trust with her in-laws.</p> <p dir="ltr">Others, however, had the opposite opinion, with one person saying, “Forget rebuilding trust, I'd be having them charged with assault.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Another person said, “They mutilated a child and they knew it was against the parents wishes. These people have serious problems. Not that I'd press charges, but getting holes poked in someone else's kid is a huge thing.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

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Escape to the Country host dies aged 50

<p>British TV presenter Jonnie Irwin has passed away aged 50 following a battle with terminal cancer. </p> <p>Irwin was diagnosed with terminal cancer in 2020, when the disease spread from his lungs to his brain. </p> <p>He was initially given just six months to live, but managed to defy the odds and made his illness public after two years of keeping it a secret. </p> <p>The TV presenter rose to fame in the UK for his roles on shows including <em>A Place in the Sun </em>and <em>Escape to the Country</em>. </p> <p>A statement was shared to Instagram on Friday announcing his death, where he was described as "a truly remarkable soul." </p> <p>"It is with heavy hearts that we share the news of Jonnie’s passing," the statement began. </p> <p>"A truly remarkable soul, he fought bravely against cancer with unwavering strength and courage. Jonnie touched the lives of so many with his kindness, warmth, and infectious spirit."</p> <p>“At this time, we kindly ask for the privacy of Jonnie’s family as they navigate through this profound loss," the statement continued. </p> <p>“Their grief is immeasurable, and your thoughts, prayers, and support are deeply appreciated. As we remember the beautiful moments shared with Jonnie, let us celebrate a life well-lived and a legacy that will forever be etched in our hearts.”</p> <p>“Jonnie may be gone from our sight, but his love, laughter, and memories will live on. Rest in peace, dear Jonnie. You will be dearly missed, but never forgotten.”</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/C22vrMPCwmB/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C22vrMPCwmB/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Jonnie Irwin (@jonnieirwintv)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Following his death, BBC have paid tribute to the fallen host and described him as an “extraordinary man and wonderful presenter”.</p> <p>“He brought such warmth and fun to Escape To The Country where he was a firm favourite with not just viewers, but the production team too," head of BBC daytime Rob Unsworth said.</p> <p>“More recently, he did some truly inspirational reports for <em>Morning Live</em> about his illness, tackling taboos around end-of-life care and wonderfully demonstrating the limitless positivity that he brought to everything he did.”</p> <p>Irwin’s longtime co-star Jasmine Harman, also shared a tribute on Instagram.</p> <p>“I have never admired you more than over the last few years as you’ve faced life with cancer with positivity, determination and bloody mindedness,” she wrote. “The world is a little darker today without you, but I will always smile when I think of you.” </p> <p>Irwin is survived by his wife Jessica and their three children, Rex, five and three-year-old twins Rafa and Cormac.</p> <p><em>Image: Instagram</em></p> <p> </p>

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Readers respond: What is your go-to movie when you need a good cry?

<p>There's an abundance of movies out there, but not many that can bring you to tears. </p> <p>While <em>The Notebook </em>and <em>Beaches </em>are clearly the fan favourites for our readers, here are a few other recommendations that you can watch this holiday season. </p> <p>Get those tissues ready! </p> <p><strong>Carol Wardley </strong>- Its a wonderful life</p> <p>Watch the trailer <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLR3gZrU2Xo" target="_blank" rel="noopener">here</a>, and stream the movie on Stan.</p> <p><strong>Denyse Galle</strong> - Me Before You and A Walk to Remember </p> <p>Watch the trailer for <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eh993__rOxA" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Me Before you</a> and stream it on YouTube, Apple TV or Amazon Prime Video.</p> <p>Watch the trailer for <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3B2XBcp7vA" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A Walk to Remember</a> and stream it  on Apple TV or Amazon Prime Video</p> <p><strong>Kerrie Anne</strong> - The Remains of the Day</p> <p>Watch the trailer <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jALmEb72beg" target="_blank" rel="noopener">here</a> and stream it on <em>Netflix</em>.</p> <p><strong>Ken Smyth </strong>- Dancer in the Dark. That ending...</p> <p>Watch the trailer <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53vr9EiOH7g" target="_blank" rel="noopener">here</a> and stream it on <em>Apple TV</em>.</p> <p><strong>Michael Kopp</strong> - Bambi</p> <p>Watch the trailer <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDGv4GIR7A4" target="_blank" rel="noopener">here</a> and stream it on <em>Disney+.</em></p> <p><strong>Anne Connolly Finnegan</strong> - The Bridges of Madison county </p> <p>Watch the trailer <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Up-oN4NtvbM" target="_blank" rel="noopener">here</a> and stream it on YouTube.</p> <p><strong>Leone Mitchell </strong>- Love Story with Ryan O’Neal and Allie MacGraw beautiful</p> <p>Watch the trailer <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYhS8q66L38" target="_blank" rel="noopener">here</a> and stream it on Foxtel Go,  Binge or YouTube</p> <p><strong>Julie B</strong> - The Colour Purple</p> <p><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">Watch the trailer <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFMCW5-jdqM" target="_blank" rel="noopener">here</a> and stream it on Netflix. </span></p> <p>Are there any other movies that make you cry? Let us know. </p> <p><em><span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">Image: Getty </span></em></p>

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Going home for the holidays? How to navigate conflict and deal with difficult people

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jessica-robles-617248">Jessica Robles</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/loughborough-university-1336">Loughborough University</a></em></p> <p>The holiday season is upon us and for many that means all the tension that comes with it. This time of year can be a minefield of uncomfortable moments, disagreement and outright conflict. It’s no wonder <a href="https://fortune.com/well/2022/12/03/home-for-holidays-family-gatherings-mental-health/">many young people</a> are apprehensive about returning home for the holidays after living far away.</p> <p>There are many reasons interpersonal difficulties can arise over the holidays. Perhaps your aunt doesn’t like what you did with her pie recipe, or your friend’s new partner has unsettling political beliefs. Maybe you haven’t lived at home in a while, but your family still talks to you like you’re the same person you were in school. Maybe you’re bringing your partner to meet your family for the first time, and aren’t sure whether everyone will get along.</p> <p>People have socialised less with friends and family <a href="https://triple-c.at/index.php/tripleC/article/view/1167">since the pandemic</a>, and may be feeling out of practice. This can be compounded by all the things people can disagree about.</p> <p>Some topics are higher risk for blowups, and best <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/book/10.1002/9781444354119#page=122">avoided</a> in such settings (religion and politics, for starters). Whether it’s <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11109-018-9476-2">true or not</a>, there’s a popular perception that tricky subjects are more numerous and divisive than ever. Dare one bring up anything adjacent to Brexit, vaccinations or the cost of living? Even bringing your mobile phone to the dining table could get you in trouble.</p> <p>So what happens if your uncle has too much mulled wine and something slips out that annoys or even horrifies you? Family arguments are a common theme in holiday films, but their scripted resolutions are rarely realistic and not based on <a href="https://repository.lboro.ac.uk/articles/book/Talk_the_science_of_conversation/9476291">empirical research</a>. By considering how these things work in the context of real interactions, we can move from what sounds good in theory to what we can put into practice.</p> <h2>Think before you speak</h2> <p>In real-world situations, <a href="http://pstorage-loughborough-53465.s3.amazonaws.com/21189843/Thesis2019Joyce.pdf">interactions can escalate</a> before you’re even fully aware that they’re happening. You might be able to anticipate why and how an interaction might become a problem. Does alcohol generally lead to arguments in your family? Are your parents usually hypercritical of your new partners? Consider how to avoid problems before they start.</p> <figure>In the moment, you can often spot “clues” that something is about to go awry. Trouble doesn’t usually emerge solely because of one person, but through <a href="https://www.taylorfrancis.com/chapters/edit/10.4324/9780429058011-13/conflict-interaction-phillip-glenn">the back-and-forth between people</a>. Assuming too much about who might be “the difficult one” and why won’t be helpful on its own.</figure> <p>You have to learn to recognise the conversational moves people are making (including your own) and see how <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/B9780126235500500082">other people respond to them</a>. Some facial expressions can express doubt or distrust, and contemptuous expressions (such as <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/08351813.2021.1936858">eye-rolling</a>) can signal that a conversation might take a turn toward insult rather than discussion. A response that starts with the word <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0378216615002465?casa_token=gyu3pjfpGrEAAAAA:VwEe8rVBXvsbF9V_aeYylN42IpKYeZ1BGqp85VoP_rkBQZtEI5AbuqBloiPxgTKfsJjj5VTSvcY">“well”</a> can be warning of incoming disagreement.</p> <p>As you notice what ways of speaking get what kinds of responses, you can be more thoughtful about what you choose to say. Even <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-319-99094-1_2">changing a single word</a> can shift the direction of a conversation. A common sign that a conversation is starting to escalate unhelpfully is that people begin <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/08351813.2020.1826765?casa_token=AIU2DQgEJQUAAAAA%3AGoBBF8SPSXcDmiKBAwaIihjFngE1ck8QiVj0HFZO7VGxi8TtkOf7PB0j5NMV9ufgMN4BwF-dMFA1Gw">commenting on the conversation itself and accusing</a> one another of unreasonable behaviour. Once you learn to be more conscious of that, it can help you reflect on how to respond in ways that might deescalate… if that’s what you want to do.</p> <h2>Why we fight</h2> <p>There is a dilemma here: sometimes backing down from a conflict challenges our values of authenticity and commitment to our beliefs. If someone says something insulting, whether mild or <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0378216622002120">egregious</a>, it feels disingenuous and morally irresponsible to smooth things over. Some conflict is worth engaging, especially with someone you care about who is willing to listen and think about things. The complication is, that’s not always the case.</p> <p>Often when people argue about something they care about, they end up <a href="https://ttu-ir.tdl.org/handle/2346/16661">misaligned</a> or “talking at cross purposes”, where they’re not really even discussing the same thing anymore. Every conversation has a trajectory, but it’s entirely possible for a conversation to have <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/2786745#metadata_info_tab_contents">parallel or divergent trajectories</a>. In such cases, it’s unlikely that any amount of <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/08351813.2019.1631044">good-faith discussion</a> is actually going to be <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0378216618304302?casa_token=y7CoCCptr6AAAAAA:LCHuB6-BRaH4HPIothLVX_ENhSPlfshapdyvxzk9LjlQa24WJyRM4sXF2_bFp6oiWAfWnsVIoK8">productive</a>.</p> <p>At the end of the day, it’s also worth considering what makes a person or conversation “difficult”. Assigning that word to someone <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1468-2885.2001.tb00234.x?casa_token=g5XfR-FKNLEAAAAA:GFvy6M4CY9IHrE51_NTEJDNgf6bdPqJZPX2Q2KZStBesgv8UIJDj7YTBnVMOSpRCDRWbX-DsmkQFaWQ">is not a neutral or objective</a> statement. Maybe you, in fact, are the “difficult person”. Maybe, for some kinds of conflict, you should want to be difficult. And maybe, sometimes, it’s alright to go outside and let off steam with a snowball fight.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/196751/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jessica-robles-617248">Jessica Robles</a>, Lecturer in Social Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/loughborough-university-1336">Loughborough University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/going-home-for-the-holidays-how-to-navigate-conflict-and-deal-with-difficult-people-196751">original article</a>.</em></p>

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