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Grandma shares blunt advice for gift-giving season

A grandmother has shared valuable advice for other grandparents who are prone to going over the top for birthday and Christmas presents. DeeDee Moore, who runs the TikTok account @morethangrand, reignited the debate on finding the line between spoiling your grandkids with an abundance of gifts, and not going over the top. With Christmas right around the corner, DeeDee shared some advice for grandparents before they hit the shops. "Too much stuff from grandparents is at the top of the list of topics that parents struggle with," Moore explained in a viral clip. A recent survey from <a href="https://www.morethangrand.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener">More Than Grand</a> found 75 percent of the parents surveyed, wished grandparents respected their wishes about gifts, for a few reasons, but the most common was the sheer volume of stuff. "Parents often don't have the physical space to accommodate the toys indulgent grandparents buy," she continued. However, the issue is that one grandparent probably isn't the only one going all out on gifts. "Say your grandson has four other grandparents and four aunts and uncles. Each of these people get him one gift for a second birthday. That's already nine gifts plus something for mum and dad. We're up to 10," she explained. "But if all of those grandparents buy him three things, and two of the aunts get him a little extra something, that's 22 presents for a two-year-old who would be just as happy with a box." Moore also pointed out while many kids are fortunate enough to be spoilt at Christmas, there are many children who are living in hardship and don't have the same luxuries. Her advice is to take some of the things you would have given to your grandchildren and donate them to a charity or organisation who works with less fortunate families. Dozens of mothers chimed in the comment section of the video, praising DeeDee's advice and sharing their own stress about presents. "I used to have so much anxiety about Christmas because my in-laws used to buy more than Santa, us and my parents combined. It was stressful," commented one mum. Image credits: Shutterstock

Family & Pets

When a baby is stillborn, grandparents are hit with ‘two lots of grief’. Here’s how we can help

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jane-lockton-811825">Jane Lockton</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-adelaide-1119">University of Adelaide</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/clemence-due-100240">Clemence Due</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-adelaide-1119">University of Adelaide</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/melissa-oxlad-811406">Melissa Oxlad</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-adelaide-1119">University of Adelaide</a> <a href="https://www.stillbirthcre.org.au/resources/stillbirth-facts/">Six babies</a> are stillborn every day in Australia. This significant loss <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1744165X12001023">affects parents</a> for years to come, often the rest of their lives. However, stillbirth also affects many others, including grandparents. But until now, we have not heard the experiences of grandparents whose grandchildren are stillborn. Their grief was rarely acknowledged and there are few supports tailored to them. Our recently published <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/31387781">research</a> is the first in the world to specifically look at grandmothers’ experience of stillbirth and the support they need. In Australia, a baby <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0037109">is defined as</a> stillborn when it dies in the womb from 20 weeks’ gestation, or weighs more than 400 grams. Other countries have slightly different definitions. <a href="https://www.stillbirthcre.org.au/resources/stillbirth-facts/">About 2,200</a> babies are stillborn each year here meaning stillbirth may be more common than many people think. And people <a href="https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(11)60107-4/fulltext">don’t tend to talk</a> about this openly despite it leading to significant grief. To explore grandparents’ experience of stillbirth, we interviewed 14 grandmothers for our initial study, and a further 23 grandmothers and grandfathers since then. Many grandparents were not aware stillbirth was a risk today. Most felt unprepared. Like parents, grandparents experienced grief like no other after their grandchild was stillborn. Rose said: "The grief is always there, it never leaves you […] I don’t know why but sometimes it is still very raw." Sally said: "I [would do] anything in my power to take it away, even if it meant, you know, something dreadful happening to me, I would have done it." Grandparents also spoke of anticipating the arrival of their grandchild, and disbelief at their loss. Donna said: "It was as bad as it could be and […] I thought it just couldn’t be real, it couldn’t be real." Where grandparents lived a long way from their child, the loss was even more profound. Distance prevented them from holding their grandchild after birth, attending memorials, or helping their own children. Iris said: "I still miss her now […] When she was born and they had her in the hospital they would text me and say you know she’s got hair like her daddy […] and they would describe her and how beautiful she was, and that’s all they have, you know […] that’s all I have really." Grandparents said they wanted to hide their grief to protect their child from pain. This often made them isolated. Their relationships with family members often changed. Mary said: "It’s like two lots of grief […] but I don’t want it to sound like it’s as bad as my daughter’s loss. It’s different, it’s a different grief, because you’re grieving the loss of a grandchild, and you’re also grieving for your daughter and her loss and it’s like yeah you’ve been kicked in the guts twice instead of once." <h2>What grandparents wanted</h2> Grandparents stressed the importance and ongoing value of being involved in “memory making” and spending time with their stillborn grandchild where possible. Creating mementos, such as taking photos and making footprints and hand prints, were all important ways of expressing their grief. These mementos kept the baby “alive” in the family. They were also a way to ensure their own child knew the baby was loved and remembered. Our research also identified better ways to support grandparents. Grandparents said that if they knew more about stillbirth, they would be more confident in knowing how to help support their children. And if people were more aware of grandparents’ grief, and acknowledged their loss, this would make it easier for them to get support themselves, and reduce feelings of isolation. Our research also found families can recognise that grandparents grieve too, for both their child and grandchild. Grandparents can be encouraged to seek support from other family and friends. Families could also encourage grandparents to seek support from professionals if needed. In hospitals, midwives can adopt some simple, time efficient strategies, with a big impact on grandparents. With parent consent, midwives could include grandparents in memory making activities. By acknowledging the connection grandparents have to the baby, midwives can validate the grief that they experience. In recognising the supportive role of grandparents, midwives can also provide early guidance about how best to support their child. Hospitals can help by including grandparents in the education provided after stillbirth. This might include guidance about support for their child, or simply providing grandparents with written resources and guiding them to appropriate supports. In time, development of peer support programs, where grandparents support others in similar situations, could help. And, as a community, we can support grandparents the same way they support their own children. We can be there, listen and learn. <hr /> All grandparents’ names in this article are pseudonyms. If this article raises issues for you or someone you know, contact <a href="http://www.sands.org.au">Sands</a> (stillbirth and newborn death support) on 1300 072 637. Sands also has <a href="https://www.sands.org.au/images/sands-creative/brochures/127517-For-Grandparents-Brochure.pdf">written information specifically for grandparents</a> of stillborn babies.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/122313/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jane-lockton-811825">Jane Lockton</a>, PhD Candidate (Psychology, Health), <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-adelaide-1119">University of Adelaide</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/clemence-due-100240">Clemence Due</a>, Senior Lecturer in the School of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-adelaide-1119">University of Adelaide</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/melissa-oxlad-811406">Melissa Oxlad</a>, Lecturer in the School of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-adelaide-1119">University of Adelaide</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/when-a-baby-is-stillborn-grandparents-are-hit-with-two-lots-of-grief-heres-how-we-can-help-122313">original article</a>.

Family & Pets

We know parents shape their children’s reading – but so can aunts, uncles and grandparents, by sharing beloved books

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/emily-grace-baulch-1399683">Emily Grace Baulch</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-queensland-805">The University of Queensland</a> <a href="https://creative.gov.au/news/media-releases/revealing-reading-a-survey-of-australian-reading-habits/">Over 80%</a> of Australians with children encourage them to read. Children whose parents enjoy reading are <a href="https://www.booktrust.org.uk/news-and-features/news/news-2023/new-research-from-booktrust-reveals-the-impact-of-parental-reading-enjoyment-on-childrens-reading-habits/">20% more likely</a> to enjoy it too. My research has found parents aren’t the only family members who play an important role in developing a passion for reading – extended family, from grandparents to siblings, uncles and great-aunts, also influence readers’ connections to books. I surveyed 160 Australian readers about their home bookshelves and reading habits. More than 80% of them acknowledged the significant influence of family in what and how they read. Reading to children is often <a href="https://www.booktrust.org.uk/globalassets/resources/research/booktrust-family-survey-research-briefing-2-reading-influencers.pdf">the invisible workload of mothers</a>: 95% of mothers read to children, compared to 67% of fathers. Yet intriguingly, those I surveyed – whose ages ranged from their early 20s to their 70s – collectively talked about books being passed down across eight generations. Family members were associated with their most valued books – and their identities as readers. <h2>Treasured possessions</h2> Books passed down through generations often become treasured possessions, embodying a shared family history. One person discussed an old hardcover copy of <a href="https://www.harpercollins.com.au/9780732284350/blinky-bill/">Blinky Bill</a> by Dorothy Wall. Originally given to her father and his siblings by their great-aunt in 1961, the book’s pages are now discoloured and falling out. “Although I always think of my mother as having been my reading role model,” she wrote, “actually my father had an equally big impact, just in another way.” Her father is a central organising figure on her home bookshelf: she has dedicated a whole shelf to the books he liked. The story she tells about his old copy of Blinky Bill, however, crosses generations. The book’s battered state is a testament to its longevity and well-loved status. Its inscription to her family members makes the copy unique and irreplaceable. Another person remembered a set of Dickens’ novels, complete with margin notes and century-old newspaper clippings, carefully stored with her most special books. These volumes, initially owned by her great-great-grandmother and later gifted by her great-aunt, represent a reading bond passed down through generations. Such books can never be replaced, no matter how many copies might be in circulation. These books are closely associated with memories and experiences – they are invaluable for who they represent. A third person has her father’s “old” Anne McCaffrey’s <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/series/40323-dragonriders-of-pern">Dragonriders of Pern</a> series: he read it to her as a teenager, then passed it down. The book “sparked” her interest in science-fiction, and she now intends to pass it on to her own teenager. Her book, too, is “battered”, with “chunks falling out when you read it”. The cover is falling off. The deteriorating state of a book is part of the book’s legacy. It shows how loved it has been. Reading passions can be deliberately cultivated through family, but their value is less connected to reading comprehension or literacy than a sense of connection through sharing. Inherited, much-loved books bind families together. They can anchor absent family members to the present. These books can come to symbolise love, connection and loss. The family members who’ve passed down their books might not be physically present in children’s lives – they may not be reading aloud to them at bedtime – but through their books, they can have a strong presence in their loved ones’ memories. That indelible trace can be sustained into adulthood. <h2>Buying books for the next generation</h2> Another way relatives contribute to a family reading legacy is by buying new copies of much-loved books for the next generation. Theresa Sheen, from The Quick Brown Fox, a specialist children’s bookstore in Brisbane, notes that customers often ask for copies of books they had when they were younger. They may have read them to their children and now want them for their grandchildren. For example, <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/series/40767-the-baby-sitters-club">The Babysitters Club series</a> by Ann M. Martin was mentioned multiple times as a nostalgic favourite, now being sought after by grandparents. Readers’ habits of re-buying favourite books can affect the publishing industry. With older children’s classics still selling, publishers seek to update the text to reflect contemporary cultural mores. Enid Blyton is one author who endures through intergenerational love and nostalgia. However, her work is regularly <a href="https://www.news.com.au/entertainment/books-magazines/books/enid-blytons-famous-five-books-edited-to-remove-offensive-words/news-story/47a63bb79a5d870f19aed58b19469bb5">edited and bowdlerised</a> to update it. Books can be imbued with the voices and emotions of others. They are more than just physical objects – they are vessels of shared experiences that can be passed down, up and across generations. This enduring bond between family members does more than preserve individual stories. It actively shapes and sustains a vibrant reading culture.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/232372/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/emily-grace-baulch-1399683">Emily Grace Baulch</a>, Producer at Ludo Studio & Freelance Editor, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-queensland-805">The University of Queensland</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/we-know-parents-shape-their-childrens-reading-but-so-can-aunts-uncles-and-grandparents-by-sharing-beloved-books-232372">original article</a>.

Family & Pets

Grandparents found hugging after being killed by fallen tree

Marcia Savage, 74, and Jerry Savage, 78, had already turned in for the night as Hurricane Helene roared outside. Their 22-year-old grandson, John Savage, had checked in on them to make sure they were fine after he heard a snap. “We heard one snap and I remember going back there and checking on them. They were both fine, the dog was fine." he recalled. But not long after disaster struck and John and his father heard a "boom" as one of the largest trees on their property in Beech Island, South Carolina came crashing down on top of his grandparents' bedroom, killing them. “All you could see was ceiling and tree,” he said. “I was just going through sheer panic at that point.” John said his grandparents were found hugging one another in the bed, in what he described as a final heroic act from Jerry who tried to protect his wife. “When they pulled them out of there, my grandpa apparently heard the tree snap beforehand and rolled over to try to protect my grandmother,” he said. Jerry did all sorts of handy work but worked mostly as an electrician and carpenter. Jerry went “in and out of retirement because he got bored”. “He’d get that spirit back in him to go back out and work," his grandson said. Marcia was a retired bank teller who was very involved in their church. Their daughter Tammy Estep said Marcia loved cooking for her family, especially for Thanksgiving, and was known for her banana pudding. The couple were high school sweethearts and were married for more than 50 years, with Tammy recalling that "their love was immediate, and it was everlasting”. “They loved each other to their dying day,” John said. The couple are among more than 150 people confirmed dead in one of the deadliest storms in US history. A GoFundMe organised for their funeral expenses says that they were survived by their son and daughter, along with their four grandchildren and seven great-grandchildren. Images: Facebook

Caring

Mother bans in-laws from seeing her baby after they go against her wishes

A woman has banned her in-laws from seeing her newborn daughter after they “betrayed her trust” and directly went against her wishes. The new mum shared the story to Reddit, as she explained why she was cutting contact with her husband’s parents after they pierced her child’s ears without their knowledge or consent. “My husband is from a culture where it's not uncommon to pierce baby girls' ears and his mother started pestering me about getting my daughter's ears pierced a few days after she was born,” the 32-year-old mum began. “I made it clear that I would not be doing that, and that I'd be waiting until she's old enough to ask for it herself. We live in my country where piercing a baby's ears isn't common at all.” The new mum's world soon came crashing down after the baby spent a weekend with her grandparents, before she went back to her parents red in the face and screaming. “My mother-in-law was looking after her over the weekend and decided to pierce her ears without my knowledge or consent.” “When I saw this I threw a fit. My baby was crying in pain, and I actually took her to the doctor to get their advice on whether or not to take them out.” The doctor advised the parent to take the earrings out as they were irritating the baby, but the issue didn’t end there. “I decided at that moment that my mother-in-law and everyone else on that side of the family (except for my sister-in-law, who's on my side about this) is going to have no alone contact with my daughter ever again - or at least until she's a teenager.” “My worry is that she'll do the same thing again, and to be frank, she's lost my trust entirely. I told her that if she had a problem with that, I'd report what she did to the police.” The husband of the baby girl reluctantly sided with his wife over the issue, despite saying it wasn’t a big deal and suggesting everyone move on from the incident. The story prompted a mixed response online, with some people saying the woman was overreacting and should work towards rebuilding trust with her in-laws. Others, however, had the opposite opinion, with one person saying, “Forget rebuilding trust, I'd be having them charged with assault.” Another person said, “They mutilated a child and they knew it was against the parents wishes. These people have serious problems. Not that I'd press charges, but getting holes poked in someone else's kid is a huge thing.” Image credits: Getty Images

Family & Pets

The most beloved grandparents in film

Grandparents – they’re wise, loving and occasionally grumpy. They also make some of the best characters in films. So grab the popcorn, gather the grandkids and show them how amazing grandparents are! Queen Clarisse Renaldi in The Princess Diaries Played by the graceful Julie Andrew, the ruler of the fictional country Genovia needs to teach her granddaughter and heir Mia (Anne Hathaway) how to be Queen. It’s the growing relationship – from heated arguments to acceptance and understanding – between the two that makes this movie. Aurora Greenway in Terms of Endearment In possibly the best movie made about the mother-daughter relationship, Oscar-winning Shirley MacLaine plays the mother who puts years of hostility behind her to care for terminally ill daughter Emma (Debra Winger). However, it’s her role as a grandparent that brings her ultimate redemption becoming the guardian to her three grandchildren. Warning: tissues are a must in this film. Grandma Annie in The Proposal Although she has no grandchildren, Betty White always plays the most hilarious nanas. Grandma Annie’s 90th birthday party is the big event where the romance between Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds finally comes to fruition. Even 60 years into her career, Betty White’s comical facial expressions will still make you laugh. Grandpa Joe in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory The bedridden grandfather decides to take his first steps into the outside world for his beloved grandson Charlie. The grandfather and grandson together experience a fantastical adventure of a life time, a trip to Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. The Grandfather in The Princess Bride The anonymous grandfather played by Peter Falk entertains his sick grandson (Fred Savage) with a good-old fashioned adventure story. Although reluctant at first, the grandson is soon just as caught up as we are about the tale of the masked man saving the beautiful princess. Carl Fredricksen in Up Although not technically a grandfather, the animated story of a grumpy 78-year old man who forms an unlikely friendship with 8-year-old wilderness explorer Russell is a beautiful story of the generations’ comings together. Because of Russell, Carl learns to live again, something he never thought possible after the death of his wife many years ago. Images: Wolper Pictures

Movies

Readers Respond: What was the best part about raising your children?

You always hear parents ask “where did the time go?” when they look at their children growing up. It’s just the same for grandparents as well as they watch their children and their grandchildren go about life. So we’ve decided to ask our OverSixty audience what the best part about raising children is. Check out some of your responses below. Trish George - The love and happiness they brought to our family was so special. Then we proudly watched them grow into the well mannered, respectful and wonderful adults that they are today. Very blessed indeed. Pam Milner - Watching them grow up to be fine, responsible and loving people, now with beautiful children of their own. Plus I got to have a lot of fun along the way, something denied me when I was a child. Margie Buckingham - Falling pregnant after years of trying, was the happiest time of my life. Teaching him how to be a loving, caring, responsible man that contributes his best at all times, it is still just a wonder to me. Denise Clare Dawson - Being lucky to share in the raising of the grandchildren. Linda Payne - The laughs we had which outweighed the naughtiness of kids. Anne Henderson - Their innocence…not having the worry and sadness of seeing them have to grapple with the trials of adult life later on…relationship heartbreak, job loss, not getting that job etc. Louise Headley Duncan - Watching them grow and develop into happy healthy adults. Zandra Burton-Scarlett - Having a wonderful man to do it with. George was the best dad to our boys. Even if he wasn’t the biological father, blood means nothing. We all love and miss you so much sweetheart. Kisses and cuddles have been sent to heaven. Maria Valsamakis - Feeding them and watching them grow strong and healthy, taking them to the beach, reading stories, birthday parties, Christmas. Patrick Campbell - Watching them turn into caring contributing members of society and wonderful parents as well. Share your favourite moment <a href="https://www.facebook.com/oversixtys/posts/pfbid0iNbcAr2Q7UdvFvRWnhLTsSx29FQEjmkBsmE7vSP35APtRtAzUd9ByN4vcWTNNoqwl" target="_blank" rel="noopener">here</a>. Image: Shutterstock

Retirement Life

The 10 “types” of grandparents

In his book, The Grandparent Guide: The Definitive Guide to Coping with the Challenges of Modern Grandparenting, Dr. Arthur Kornhaber, a psychiatrist and founder of a non-profit organisation that promotes the importance of grandparenting identified 10 special roles grandparents play in the lives of grandchildren, all showing the profound impact grandparents can have on children’s lives. Which role, or roles, do you most identify with? Ancestor – “You function as an ambassador to the past, a powerful figure in the present, and a role model for the future.” Buddy – “You’re a pal, secret confidante, and at times, even a light-hearted conspirator.” Hero – “The fact that you have lived in times and places so far removed from your grandchild’s everyday experiences imbues you with heroic qualities.” Historian – “Sharing your own life experiences as well as those of your ancestors will give your grandchild a sense of continuity and belonging.” Mentor – “You are a cheerleader firing her imagination, inspiring her dreams, nurturing her spirit, and encouraging her intellectual growth while giving her a sense of self-worth.” Role model – “Your actions show your children and grandchildren how they should behave as grandparents of the future.” Spiritual guide – “Acting as a spiritual guide involves teaching your grandchild to harvest such fruits of the spirit as love, tolerance, compassion, reverence, joy, peace, gentleness, faith, and kindness.” Teacher – “As a grandparent, you have the right and the responsibility to run your own classroom about life, to develop your own curriculum, and to pass on your wisdom, knowledge, and life experience.” Student – “Just as you teach and inspire your grandchild with your knowledge, she can teach and inspire you with her knowledge of contemporary times across generations and motivate you to jumpstart your capacity to grow and change.” Wizard – “Activate your own wizardry and be your grandchild’s companion in the preternatural world of make-believe and illusion, of dreams and surprises. Fly together on the wings of fancy and enjoy the flight!” Image: Getty Images

Family & Pets

Readers Respond: What is your favourite thing about being a grandparent?

They say a mother’s love is different, as is a father’s love. But what about grandparents and their relationship with their grandchildren? Surely nothing compares. So we decided to ask you about the favourite thing about being grandparents and it sure made us miss ours. From a simple hug to just being in their presence - here are some of your most moving responses. JanWayne Richo - The same as being a parent, I love every single second of being with them! Lorraine Fox - Having the pleasure of their company. Pam Moss - I love every single moment I spend with my grandchildren. I love them to bits and love watching them grow into beautiful adults - love hugs and kisses and love the individuality of each one!!! Lorene Owers - Everything but especially when they give me a hug. Christine Scott - Their little arms around my neck for cuddles. Elizabeth Granter - Being a parent and grandparent is very special. Seeing them grow up into beautiful adults - love them to bits. Raymond Wagner - Filing their bellies with junk food and taking her home. Rick Dayes - Spending lots of time with them. They make me feel 20 years younger. Judy Garstone - Spending time and listening to their stories with them and getting big hugs. Elaine Costello - Being able to hand them back when they have entertained me to exhaustion and then looking forward to the next time. Heather Lawson Hillman - Everything but if I had to choose...it's seeing their face light up yelling grandma's here...as they run to see you. Sandra Bull - When you pull up outside their house and they are waiting screaming "nanny" "poppy". Judy Borwick - Love just being around them, listening, watching and being part of their lives. It's very special to me. Julie Auld - When we all get together. Share your cherished memories <a href="https://www.facebook.com/oversixtyNZ/posts/pfbid0SMUUgStmYTizdVMqDTNbxzYa8SVidAYF4tZtUX35nYXu4p5tFWX37ymtmtqVsevnl" target="_blank" rel="noopener">here</a>. Image: Shutterstock

Relationships

Readers respond: What advice did your grandparents give to you that you remember best?

We asked our readers to think back to a time their grandparents gave them some of the best advice they still remember today. From looking for the good in everyone, tucking in your singlet, and never trusting your fart. Here are some of your answers. Peter Laing - My Gran had a saying: The wise old owl sat in the oak. The more he listened the less he spoke. The less he spoke the more he heard. We should all be like that wise old bird. Gail Keeb - My dad's mum always said "Spend less than you make!". Elsie Miller - If a job is worth doing, it is worth doing well. Kerri Anderson - My grandmother gave me two important pieces of advice on aging - never walk past a toilet and never trust a fart! Laraine Fields - My Nana told me that there was some good in everyone and to look for that. Janice Grove - If you cannot say anything nice, say nothing. Susan Buckett - Always wear clean underwear when you go out, in case you have an accident. Tracey Burns Kitchingham - Some things are better left unsaid…My grandmother was a very wise woman. Pam Leonard - Always leave a place better than the way you found it. No good being so heavenly good that you’re no earthly use. Kylie Jane McCauley - Always keep a little cash aside for a rainy day. You never know when a storm might blow in. Peter Hulthen - Respect your elders. Help the less fortunate. Sue Casey - Life is too long to be unhappy. To leave a memory of your own, or to check out more of the inspiring responses head <a href="https://www.facebook.com/oversixtyNZ/posts/pfbid02RxCVd13bBb1N59vYUcgQohgxie6u4uazXNTgvFmRWpKSa6z7ZLKc5peUwaQATUb6l" target="_blank" rel="noopener">here</a>. Image: Shutterstock

Retirement Life

The real reason you’re not a grandparent yet

How many times have you asked your child when they’re going to make you a grandparent? Too many times to count. But you may soon have an answer as to why you’re not a grandparent yet thanks to relationship expert Louanne Ward. The dating expert has shared the top six mistakes men and women are making that are keeping them single. The mistakes include: <ol> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> You expect a partner to be everything you ever wanted </li> </ol> When you expect something from your partner and it’s something you’ve always wanted it can almost always lead to disappointment. <ol start="2"> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> You see personality differences as negatives </li> </ol> “It is important to have differences and similarities,” Louanna explained. <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CdVXIueJqza/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CdVXIueJqza/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Matchmaker | dating expert (@louanneward)</a> </div> </blockquote> <ol start="3"> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> You compare the person to past experiences or future dreams </li> </ol> “You are comparing the person to past experience you have had and the future experience you want to have, so you aren't actually present in the relationship,” she said. <ol start="4"> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> You are afraid of “settling” if they don't tick every box </li> </ol> Louanna explained that people would feel they are settling for a person if they don’t meet each of their criteria. <ol start="5"> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> You leave at the first time of trouble, not willing to work through it. </li> </ol> “You leave at the first sign of trouble rather than working through conflict or challenges,” Louanna explained. <ol start="6"> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> You don't give people a chance, and make snap judgements. </li> </ol> “You make a snap decision and judgement without scratching the surface,” she said. So what do you think? Image: Shutterstock

Relationships

Readers respond: What are some things your grandkids aren’t allowed to do?

Having the grandkids come round to visit can be such a joy and the perfect way to create some sweet memories with them. As much as it’s a chance to spoil them, there are some things grandkids can’t get away with. From trampolining off the furniture to improper manners, when we asked our readers what they wouldn’t allow their grandkids to do, this is what you had to say. Shena Wood - All my grandkids are so good when they come. Only one real rule and that is we eat at the table. Shirley Gaye Howearth - Nothing, they are allowed to do whatever pleases them. Jill Edwards - No tech while eating! This is for all meals, (whether) at the table or on the couch. Joy Scott - Sit at table to eat and little ones wipe hands before leaving. Saves a lot of work. Dalena Lee - Jump on the couch. I tell them that when they see me jump on the couch, then they can. Jan Bradley - Table manners, respect, no jumping or climbing on furniture! Aside from that I don’t have any rules, just love spending time with them. Helen Vella - My kids weren’t allowed to do anything, my grandkids can do whatever they want. Jennifer Slack-Smith - I say ‘Whatever happens at Nanny’s stays at Nanny’s.’ Heather Cassey - Torment the cat, disrespect me, or anything that will hurt them. Other than that they pretty much have me twisted around their little fingers. Douglas Jones - I always send my grandchildren home with a tube of glitter. To read what else you said, head <a href="https://www.facebook.com/oversixtys/posts/3315334072030189" target="_blank" rel="noopener">here</a>. Image: Getty Images

Caring

Grandma's hilarious ranking system goes viral

Many suspect their grandma may have favourites, but one family knows for sure where they stand thanks to their grandmother’s brutally honest "leaderboard". US comedian Dan LaMorte posted on TikTok explaining the unique feature in his grandmother's house, where at any time family members can look to see how beloved they are in their matriarch's eyes – and heart. "At my grandma’s house she has a board of the ten grandchildren's faces on magnets, and she ranks us from one to ten. I'm eight," he says proudly before cutting the video off. The comedian's TikTok followers found the system hilariously honest. "I would kill for this kind of transparency in my relationships," said one commenter. "I would have told her that she my #2 grandma," added another. "My grandma used to rank us too. She would regularly tell us of our rankings. She's been gone for 4 years, but I talk about her a lot in therapy," said one commenter. "That was the basis behind this. She used to do verbal rankings so we made her a board to do it visually," revealed LaMorte. In a separate video, the comedian displays the rankings again three months on, explaining some of the reasoning behind the shifts in order. He reveals that the number one favourite grandchild lives next door so she moves her ranking herself and is therefore invalid, while number two is a dentist and number three is a doctor. He also adds that he moved up two places, now at sixth place out of the ten grandchildren. "The key is to coast and wait for the others to mess up. The long game," one commenter suggested. "My great-grandmother's favorite grandchild is my childhood dog, whose portrait takes center stage in her home," said another. Image: TikTok

Family & Pets

Readers respond: What do you remember about your grandparents?

We asked our readers what they remember most about their grandparents, and the responses were heartwarming. From holiday visits and distinctive smells, to gifts and special activities, here are some of your favourite memories with your grandparents. Dawn Dominick - My grandma on shopping day at the Vic market.. she would always buy me a toffee apple as a treat. Isabel Edwards - I was lucky to live in a home with my great grandmother & my grandparents at the same time that was when families would look after each other.Vicki Wooden - My Nana was warm, soft, smelt of lily of the valley powder, liked to sing old songs, could knit or crochet anything, she gave the best hugs and she made a dessert called apple snow and I loved it and her more than anything else.Allan Riches - That beautiful smell of my lovely Nana, her laughing, and smiles and cuddles, oh and her apple pies.Shirley Williams Knevitt - Only knew one grandparent and remember she would bring balfours fruit buns each visit.Margaret Inglis - Only knew my mother's mother. She lived quite a distance from us, so didn't see her often. Saying that she would stay for a few days and would always be crocheting doilies and place mats. Still have some. Also, we would do an errand for mum after school and Nana would always slip in a couple of pennies for an ice cream.Jackie Jakeways - My Nan and grandad helped bring up my brother and me as we lived in there house loved them both dearly. I will always remember my pretty dresses and my nans beautiful long auburn hair and brushing it.Joy Meyer - My Nan was a wonderful caring woman. On her 100th birthday she said we shouldn't be making a fuss over her... we should be sending the queen get well cards cos she just came out of hospital. That's the lovely type of person Nan was.Lynette Smede - My maternal grandmother lived with us and made the best mushroom and niche tarts.Lynne Clarke Carter - My pop was still riding his bicycle at age 90, and other granddad showing us how to pan for gold at the creek in Ballarat.Pam Thomas - How brave my granddad was to go and return from World War 1. He was a gentle beautiful man who never got over the hell of war. And my wonderful nana who supported him at every step.Karen Algie - I had lots of school holidays with my grandparents and loved every minute, they are the best memories I have from my childhood.Linda Barclay - My paternal grandmother, was tough as nuts. She used to stitch up her own injuries! She was good for a laugh some times though.Diane Wilson - Only met my grandma on mums side and she passes when l was 12 but she showed me how to crochet. Donna Knight - I always use to get behind my nana when lights and thunder hit thinking that she would protect me.Image credits: Getty Images

Family & Pets

Readers respond: What is your favourite thing about being a grandparent?

We asked our readers what their favourite thing is about being a grandparent, and the responses were overwhelming. To seeing their families grow up, to having someone fun to learn from, here is what you said. Patricia Eaton - Seeing that look of wonder meant on her gorgeous little face when I sing old nursery rhymes or songs to her and she joins in.Raymond Wagner - Filing their bellies with junk food and taking her home.Joan Greenwood - Everything but especially the hugs and cuddles.Rick Dayes - Spending lots of time with them they make me feel 20 years younger.Jude Lowe - Remembering their parents at the same age!Janette Scott - The excitement to see them again, watching them grow and their funny ways!Maureen Norton - Love having the grandkids,the cuddles,the innocent remarks making me laugh.Lorraine Fox - Having the pleasure of their company.Karen Spencer - Working at my grandsons School, seeing him and my great nephew there.Christa Caldecott - Listening to their stories of what they’ve been learning and doing. Some are hilarious from our 4 year old great grandson.Elaine Costello - Being able to hand them back when they have entertained me to exhaustion and then looking forward to the next time.Margaret Stroud - The overwhelming love that you feel the little faces light up and call your name and watching them grow.Sandra Bull - When you pull up out side their house and they are waiting screaming "nanny" and "poppy".Margaret Dorries - When the families all get together.Sandra McGregor - Being able to enjoy these little people without having to raise them. We’ve done the raising of their parents and now we just get to do all the fun stuff with them! Love my 10 Grandies to bits!Lois Tysver Fox - Having my Grands here for some one-on-one time. And seeing how much they've grown and changed in such a short time. I get my three grands every other Saturday, and I'm loving this.Kate Forno - Having the privilege of watching them grow and mature and spending as much time as possible with them because it always leaves me feeling like I’m floating on air.Jenny Whales - Their innocence and awe.. to see the world through their eyes, accepting and unconditional love, and their beautiful smiling faces.Michael Woodhouse - Handing them back at the end of the day.Nola Schmidt - Everything, but especially when they tell me they love me.Joy Derham - Hugs and then being able to hand them back when they have entertained me to exhaustion and then looking forward to the next time.Image credits: Getty Images

Family & Pets

"No heart": Gran slammed for cruel Christmas act

Image: Facebook It didn't take long for a group of Facebook commenters to proclaim an unnamed grandmother guilty of having absolutely “no heart” after she left her son’s stepchild off her Christmas list. The anonymous grandmother was outed by a friend of hers who saw a "heartbreaking" photo shared by the gran on social media. In the photo, four children can be clearly seen wearing adorable matching Christmas pyjamas – but of particular interest is the fact that a FIFTH child is visible siting on the end wearing something completely different, making them the obvious odd one out. The friend who shared the photo captioned it with the words: "Some people out there with no heart!" "A friend of mine is married. Mother-in-law bought matching PJ's for all kids EXCEPT the one that doesn't belong to her son. Is she wrong?" she asked on a local Facebook group page. Members of the Facebook group where the photo was shared were horrified by the image and did not attempt to hide their anger. One person commented that the grandmother was: "100 per cent wrong". "The woman should feel ashamed of herself for leaving an innocent child out." "This is horrible to the core," wrote another. A third added: "Wow what a horrible thing to do." Some commenters defended the grandma, calling it "her choice", while one pointed the finger at the mother for not preventing the cruel act in the first place. "The mum should have refused them," one person wrote. "To let this happen and then take a photo as well." Blended families are always complicated and no one knows the real story behind the image, but being excluded is never a good feeling, especially for a child at Christmas.

Family & Pets

Should I take a gift? As borders open, how to prepare for reuniting with your grandkids

As border restrictions lift, family reunions are being planned around Australia. This is an exciting but also uncertain time, particularly for grandparents who have been separated from grandchildren. Over the past months (and in some cases, years), grandchildren will have grown and changed. They may have new interests, routines and skills. You may even have the <a rel="noopener" href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1474704919875948" target="_blank">transformative experience</a> of meeting a new grandchild for the very first time. With older grandchildren, <a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/grandparent-grandchildren-video-calls-are-vital-during-covid-19-here-are-simple-ways-to-improve-them-141534" target="_blank">digital technologies</a> may have kept you in contact and up-to-date. But with younger grandchildren, this is harder, and it may be time to rekindle relationships. We are researchers investigating the roles grandparents play and the <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/21582041.2018.1433317" target="_blank">influence</a> this has on families and communities. So, how can grandparents make the most of this time? The special role of grandparents Due to increased lifespans, grandparents have more time and ability to invest in their grandchildren than <a rel="noopener" href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0963721411403269" target="_blank">ever before</a> in human history. The grandparent-grandchild relationship can be a very special one. A grandparent’s involvement in a child’s life, whether through shared actives or a listening ear, is <a rel="noopener" href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1099-0860.2009.00215.x" target="_blank">linked</a> to the child’s well-being. <img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/429276/original/file-20211029-23-1y65rbj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" alt="Grandparents hug a baby." /> Researchers are finding increasing evidence of the importance of grandparent-grandchild relationships. Image: Shutterstock The benefits depend on your family situation, but can include improved psychological adjustment for <a rel="noopener" href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1111/j.1728-4457.2011.00379.x" target="_blank">grandchildren</a>, increased <a rel="noopener" href="https://doi.org/10.1017/S004727941700071X" target="_blank">workforce participation</a> for mothers, and a longer and happier life for <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1090513816300721" target="_blank">grandparents</a>. The importance of asking questions When preparing to see your grandchildren again, our first suggestion is to ask your grandchild’s parents what they think is a good idea for your first catch-up. What does your grandchild enjoy doing at the moment? What is their daily routine? Is there anything to avoid? If you are meeting a grandchild for the very first time, bear in mind the parents have gone through huge changes since you last met. As with older children, ask the parents what will suit them in terms of visit type and time. Be <a rel="noopener" href="https://raisingchildren.net.au/grown-ups/grandparents/family-relationships/being-a-grandparent" target="_blank">open and honest</a> about what support you think you can provide, and be aware the parents needs may change (they may want more or less help than they anticipated). When it comes to discussing the changes a new baby has brought, grandparents are trying to juggle in their mind the thrill of participating in their grandchild’s life, without disrupting or overstepping parents’ boundaries. From our yet to be published research, we understand this is not a simple matter for many families, but starting the conversation is important in maintaining these valuable relationships. Persistent, not pushy Your grandchildren may be feeling shy when you first meet. So even though this may have been a longed-for reunion, you may need to tread carefully. This is perfectly normal and can be overwhelming for everyone. Just take your time, and let them get to know you again. Your first instinct will be to catch up on the thousands of lost hugs, but it may work better stay close by and let them come to you. <img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/428728/original/file-20211027-27-42qfit.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" alt="Grandparents playing with grandkids." /> With young children, you don’t have to plan something fancy for your first catch-up. Image: Shutterstock The good news for grandparents is that several research projects have shown what grandchildren <a rel="noopener" href="http://www.hoepflinger.com/fhtop/Grandchildren.pdf" target="_blank">really want</a> is simply for grandparents to be “there when needed”. So just “being there” – interested and available – for your first visit is perfectly fine. This helps reduce expectations of what you feel you need to do. Gifts Your first inclination may be to bring something exciting to play with together. But on top of seeing each other again, rushing in with a new treat might be too much. You will need to read the room. Consider taking something small, or maybe you can keep something in the car and bring it out once everyone has warmed up. Parallel play Play is obviously central to children’s learning and experience. Early in life, however, this may mean playing alone, which may be confusing for some of us. A good way to work with this while rekindling your relationship is parallel play, particularly if a child is aged between two and five. Parallel play involves playing next to your grandchild and letting them come to you when they are ready. This is one way you might need to put the patience and persistence we discussed earlier into practice. Let grandchildren lead (within reason) In the same vein, don’t feel as though you need to take the lead when working out what to do with your grandchild, either. Or that your idea for reading a certain book or doing a particular puzzle is the one your grandchild will go with. <img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/428727/original/file-20211027-15-34v14w.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" alt="Grandparents push a grandchild on a swing." /> Seeing your grandchild again could be as simple as a walk to the park. Image: Shutterstock Often, seemingly simple activities like a walk to a park are the most rewarding. Here your grandchild has the opportunity to show you about their world and what they like to do on their terms. It is also a good way to see how your grandchild has grown and developed. We want to show our unconditional affection and love for our grandchildren, <a rel="noopener" href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0038026120916104" target="_blank">this feels natural</a>, and we know it can be so valuable. But in the the early stages of getting to know each other again, don’t put pressure on you or them. Being available, interested, curious and patient is enough. Rebecca Bullingham, a masters student in medical and health science at Edith Cowan University, contributed to this article.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/169731/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/david-coall-408193" target="_blank">David Coall</a>, Senior Lecturer, <a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720" target="_blank">Edith Cowan University</a> and <a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/shantha-karthigesu-1284704" target="_blank">Shantha Karthigesu</a>, Teaching and Research Scholar, <a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720" target="_blank">Edith Cowan University</a> This article is republished from <a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com" target="_blank">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/should-i-take-a-gift-as-borders-open-how-to-prepare-for-reuniting-with-your-grandkids-169731" target="_blank">original article</a>. Image: Getty Images

Relationships

Canberra grandparents graduate from Rock School

Maria and Chris Adams have proved that you’re never too old to learn something new and pursue a new passion. The 76 and 78-year-old retired accountants from Canberra saw an opportunity for a unique experience with the Australian National University's Community Rock School, and asked themselves, “why not?” "We were giggling as we filled out the application," Maria said to the <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-11-28/canberra-music-school-teaching-instruments/100650008" target="_blank">ABC</a>. "But then we got accepted and thought, 'oh my god, Grandad and Grandma are going to rock school!'" Chris said he always wanted to be in a band when he was a kid, but neither he nor his wife’s parents could afford to send them to music lessons. Now, the pair can play the ukelele, guitar and sing. "We like playing the songs that we remember, because it gives us the memories," Chris said. "It's something we can share with each other, and share with our eight grandkids," Maria added. The free program is run by Micha Forman through the ANU School of Music, and is open to anyone over the age of 18. "We'll have really young participants who are just out of high school, right up to people in their 70s and 80s," Micha said. Throughout the program, students learn how to play as a group, as well as develop their own individual skills. Micha says the program draws in all kinds of people who have different relationships with music, and is a uniting force to get people involved in something creative. "It can be a part of their life in a way that they want it to be, not in a way that someone else has told them it should be." Check out Chris and Maria’s story below. <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/T8JF6Zwv7MM" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen=""></iframe> Image credits: Youtube - ABC News Australia

Music

Twins steal from grandparents and get to KEEP the money

<div class="post_body_wrapper"> <div class="post_body"> <div class="body_text redactor-styles redactor-in"> Two Scottish pensioners have been left devastated after their grandchildren stole their life savings from them and refused to pay them back. Crawford Pirrie, 73m and wife Marlene, 75, were heartbroken when their grandchildren, twins Clair and Louise Smith stole $14,000 from them in 2018. The twins had been trusted with the elderly couple's debit card to run errands for them after their grandfather had a stroke, but instead, the twins cleaned out their grandparents. Crawford has said he's yet to get an apology from the twins and that he's "ashamed" to be related to them. The elderly couple tried to get their funds back via a compensation order but were denied by a judge who decided to give a three-month restriction of liberty order. This means that the twins were fitted with electronic tags for three months as well as being ordered to abide by 7 pm to 7 am curfew for the same period. “Not only have the twins refused to pay the money they stole from us but they haven’t even said sorry,” Mr Pirrie said. “They have been acting like they are the victims ever since the court hearing, insisting they haven’t done anything wrong. “They are creatures of the lowest form and we are ashamed to be related to them.” The twins confessed to their crimes, but have not given the money back to their grandparents. Mr Pirrie said that the bank had refused to pay them back as the grandparents gave the twins the debit card willingly. Photo credit: <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/news-life/twin-sisters-steal-grandparents-savings-and-dont-have-to-return-it/news-story/96eba7ac9cf8f3df0fde4a22b5400f95" target="_blank">news.com.au</a> </div> </div> </div>

News

Grandparents' genius trick to "visit" family safely

Thanksgiving is approaching in the USA, and with many opting not to travel to spend the holidays with their families due to COVID-19, the holiday will look slightly different this year. Missy and Billy Buchanan from Texas knew travelling wasn’t an option for them due to being in the high risk category. So they came up with the perfect idea to make sure their family didn’t miss their presence, by sending them life-sized cardboard cutouts. Between them, Missy and Billy have four grandchildren that range in age from three to 12, and still wanted to be present in the annual family dinner. "As COVID19 numbers continue to rise, we wanted to show that you can have fun and help keep everyone safe, too," Buchanan said on a <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=10220993189732428&set=a.1183512640954" target="_blank">Facebook post.</a> "I have so many friends who have been impacted by COVID19. For us, it's an act of love. And our kids and grandkids are having such fun with 'us'". The cut outs stand at six feet tall, and gave their kids a shock when they arrived in the mail. <iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fmissy.buchanan.5%2Fposts%2F10220993219733178&show_text=true&width=552&height=702&appId" width="552" height="702" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="true" allow="autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; picture-in-picture; web-share"></iframe> And while some of the grandkids were a little terrified at first, they ended up thinking it was hilarious. "My daughter got hers first. She texted, 'Omg!' and called and said, 'This is the funniest thing we've ever seen,'" Buchanan told <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.goodmorningamerica.com/family/story/grandparents-send-cardboard-cutouts-grandkids-place-thanksgiving-74375764?cid=social_fb_abcn&fbclid=IwAR2MaBadeXyNx7RcuD5rYWI5aPny5gwWNyM8oMKgNE8TlqNAuF2JXJYpP-Q" target="_blank">Good Morning America,</a> adding they've been having fun putting them in different parts of the house. "The kids get to pass them as they go to bed every night and say goodnight to Ama and Poppi," the Buchanan's son Matthew told <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.today.com/parents/grandparents-send-cardboard-cutouts-thanksgiving-2020-t200477" target="_blank">TODAY.</a> The Buchanan's said they hope their fun solution can show other families that you can still be safe and have fun celebrating, even from a distance. "Grandparents can lead the way on this," she said. "I think they're having more fun with the cut-outs than they would have had we been there in person!"

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Grandparents' genius trick to "visit" family safely