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"You made me enjoy the game": Federer's emotional retirement letter to Nadal

<p>Roger Federer has penned an emotional tribute to Rafael Nadal ahead of his retirement, reflecting on their stellar careers together. </p> <p>Nadal’s career officially came to an end when Spain was defeated 2-1 by the Netherlands in the Davis Cup quarter-final in Malaga on Wednesday morning, with Nadal in tears as he stepped onto the court for the final time. </p> <p>Thousands of tributes poured in for Nadal as his retirement officially began, but Federer's tribute quickly went viral for his emotional words.</p> <p>“As you get ready to graduate from tennis, I’ve got a few things to share before I maybe get emotional,” Federer said. </p> <p>“Let’s start with the obvious: you beat me - a lot. More than I managed to beat you. You challenged me in ways no one else could. On clay, it felt like I was stepping into your backyard, and you made me work harder than I ever thought I could just to hold my ground."</p> <p>“You made me reimagine my game - even going so far as to change the size of my racquet head, hoping for any edge. I’m not a very superstitious person, but you took it to the next level. Your whole process. All those rituals."</p> <p>“Assembling your water bottles like toy soldiers in formation, fixing your hair, adjusting your underwear … All of it with the highest intensity. Secretly, I kind of loved the whole thing. Because it was so unique - it was so you."</p> <p>“And you know what, Rafa, you made me enjoy the game even more. OK, maybe not at first. After the 2004 Australian Open, I achieved the No. 1 ranking for the first time. I thought I was on top of the world. And I was - until two months later, when you walked on the court in Miami in your red sleeveless shirt, showing off those biceps, and you beat me convincingly."</p> <p>"All that buzz I’d been hearing about you - about this amazing young player from Mallorca, a generational talent, probably going to win a major someday - it wasn’t just hype."</p> <p>“We were both at the start of our journey and it’s one we ended up taking together. Twenty years later, Rafa, I have to say: What an incredible run you’ve had. Including 14 French Opens - historic! You made Spain proud … you made the whole tennis world proud."</p> <p>“And then there was London – the Laver Cup in 2022. My final match. It meant everything to me that you were there by my side – not as my rival but as my doubles partner."</p> <p>“Sharing the court with you that night, and sharing those tears, will forever be one of the most special moments of my career.”</p> <p>Federer signed off the 585-word tribute from “your fan Roger”.</p> <p><em>Image credits: ANDY RAIN/EPA-EFE/Shutterstock Editorial </em></p>

Retirement Life

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How to complain about aged care and get the result you want

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jacqueline-wesson-1331752">Jacqueline Wesson</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lee-fay-low-98311">Lee-Fay Low</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></p> <p>It can be hard to know what to say, or who to talk to, if you notice something isn’t right for you or a loved one in residential aged care.</p> <p>You might have concerns about personal or medical care, being adequately consulted about changes to care, or be concerned about charges on the latest bill. You could also be concerned about theft, neglect or abuse.</p> <p>Here’s how you can raise issues with the relevant person or authority to improve care and support for you or your loved one.</p> <h2>Keep records</h2> <p>You can complain about any aspect of care or service. For instance, if medical care, day-to-day support or financial matters do not meet your needs or expectations, you can complain.</p> <p>It is best to act as soon as you notice something isn’t right. This may prevent things from escalating. Good communication helps get better results.</p> <p>Make written notes about what happened, including times and dates, and take photos. Try to focus on facts and events. You can also keep a record of who was involved and their role.</p> <p>Keep track of how the provider responded or steps taken to resolve the issue. Write notes of conversations and keep copies of emails.</p> <h2>Who do I complain to?</h2> <p><strong>Potential criminal matters</strong></p> <p>If you have concerns about immediate, serious harm of a criminal nature then you should contact the police, and your provider immediately. These types of serious incidents include unreasonable use of force or other serious abuse or neglect, unlawful sexual contact, stealing or unexpected death.</p> <p>The provider may have already contacted you about this. They are required to report such <a href="https://www.agedcarequality.gov.au/consumers/serious-incident-response-scheme">serious incidents</a> to both the Aged Care Quality and Safety Commission within 24 hours, and to the police.</p> <p><strong>Other matters</strong></p> <p>For other matters, talk to the care staff involved. Try to find out more detail about what happened and why things went wrong. Think about what you expect in the situation.</p> <p>Then talk to the most senior person in charge, to see if they can make changes so things don’t go wrong in the future. This person may be called the nursing unit manager, care manager or care director.</p> <p>Providers must acknowledge and investigate your complaint, tell you their findings and actions taken, and follow up to see if you are satisfied.</p> <p>If you would like support to talk to the provider, the <a href="https://opan.org.au">Older Persons Advocacy Network</a> can help. This free service provides independent and confidential support to help find solutions with the aged-care provider. The network can also help you lodge a formal complaint.</p> <h2>How to I lodge a formal complaint?</h2> <p>If you are not satisfied with the way your provider responded, you can lodge a complaint with the <a href="https://www.agedcarequality.gov.au">Aged Care Quality and Safety Commission</a>.</p> <p>Be prepared to submit the facts and events, plus emails and correspondence, you have already collected. Think about what you want to happen to resolve the complaint.</p> <p>Each complaint is handled individually and prioritised depending on the risks to you or your loved one. The commission will start its processes within one business day when complaints are urgent. The resolution process took <a href="https://www.agedcarequality.gov.au/sites/default/files/media/acqsc-annual-report-2020-21.pdf">an average 40 days</a> in 2020-21.</p> <p>You can complain confidentially, or anonymously if you feel safer. But the commission may not be able to investigate fully if it’s anonymous. Also, there are limits to what the commission can do. It cannot ask providers to terminate someone’s employment, or provide direct clinical advice about treatment.</p> <p>Sometimes the commission has issued a “non-compliance” notice to the provider (for a failure to meet quality standards), and action may again <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-05-02/aged-care-complaint-about-southern-cross-care-young/101009716">be limited</a>. So it is a good idea to check the <a href="https://www.myagedcare.gov.au/non-compliance-checker">non-compliance register</a> beforehand to see if your provider is listed.</p> <h2>What do others complain about?</h2> <p>From October to December 2021, <a href="https://www.agedcarequality.gov.au/sites/default/files/media/acqs-sector-performance-data-oct-dec-2021.pdf">about a third</a> of Australian nursing homes had a complaint made to the commission against them. Some had more than one complaint. More than half of these complaints were lodged by family, friends or other consumers.</p> <p>The top reasons for complaints were about:</p> <ul> <li> <p>adequacy of staffing</p> </li> <li> <p>medication administration or management</p> </li> <li> <p>infectious diseases or infection control</p> </li> <li> <p>personal and oral hygiene</p> </li> <li> <p>how falls are prevented and managed</p> </li> <li> <p>consultation or communication with representatives and/or family members.</p> </li> </ul> <h2>What if I’m still not happy?</h2> <p>If you’re not happy when you receive the commission’s outcome, you can request a review with 42 days.</p> <p>You can also request the <a href="https://www.ombudsman.gov.au">Commonwealth Ombudsman</a> to review the complaint if you’re not satisfied with the commission’s decision or the way the commission handled your complaint.</p> <h2>Remember, you have a right to complain</h2> <p>The <a href="https://agedcare.royalcommission.gov.au">Aged Care Royal Commission</a> spotlighted the neglect and substandard care that can occur in nursing homes. Despite attempts to <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/resources/publications/concepts-for-a-new-framework-for-regulating-aged-care">lift the standard of aged care</a>, we know residents and carers still have concerns.</p> <p>Residents, and their representatives or families, have a legal <a href="https://www.agedcarequality.gov.au/consumers/standards/resources">right to speak up and complain</a>, free from reprisal or negative consequences. This right is also reflected in the <a href="https://www.agedcarequality.gov.au/consumers/consumer-rights">Charter of Aged Care Rights</a>, which providers are legally required to discuss with you and help you understand.</p> <h2>Moving to another facility</h2> <p>If you have exhausted all avenues of complaint or feel conditions have not improved, you may decide to move to another provider or facility, if available. This option may not be possible in rural areas.</p> <p>This is a difficult decision. It takes time, as well as financial and emotional resources. Starting again with a new provider can also be disruptive for everyone, but sometimes it may be the right choice.</p> <hr /> <p><em>Contact the <a href="https://opan.org.au">Older Persons Advocacy Network</a> on 1800 700 600, the <a href="https://www.agedcarequality.gov.au">Aged Care Quality and Safety Commission</a> on 1800 951 822 or the <a href="https://www.ombudsman.gov.au">Commonwealth Ombudsman</a> on 1300 362 072.</em><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/180036/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jacqueline-wesson-1331752">Jacqueline Wesson</a>, Senior Lecturer (Teaching and Research), Discipline of Occupational Therapy, School of Health Sciences, Faculty of Medicine and Health, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lee-fay-low-98311">Lee-Fay Low</a>, Professor in Ageing and Health, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-complain-about-aged-care-and-get-the-result-you-want-180036">original article</a>.</em></p>

Retirement Life

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"Hardest year of my life": Prince William's candid admission

<p>Prince WIlliam has made a candid admission about his life this past year, following the double cancer diagnoses of his father King Charles and wife Kate Middleton. </p> <p>When asked how this year has been in an interview with UK print media in Cape Town during his trip to South Africa, the royal replied: “Honestly? It’s been dreadful.</p> <p>“It’s probably been the hardest year in my life.”</p> <p>The Prince of Wales, who took time off while Princess Kate was being treated added:  “So, trying to get through everything else and keep everything on track has been really difficult.</p> <p>“But I’m so proud of my wife, I’m proud of my father, for ­handling the things that they have done. But from a personal family point of view, it’s been, yeah, it’s been brutal.”</p> <p>While the King and Princess Kate have both issued statements about their health struggles, this is the first time William has spoken candidly on the subject. </p> <p>The Prince of Wales is in South Africa as part of Earthshot Week, and presented the Earthshot Prize Awards on November 6. </p> <p>When asked if his family had watched the live broadcast of the awards ceremony, he replied: “I don’t know yet. I haven’t clocked in with them yet but I hope they did.</p> <p>“But it’s interesting you say that, ’cause I couldn’t be less relaxed this year, so it’s very interesting you’re all seeing that. But it’s more a case of just crack on and you’ve got to keep going.</p> <p>“I enjoy my work and I enjoy pacing myself and keeping sure I have got time for my family too.”</p> <p>He also shared an update on his wife's condition saying that "she's doing well. Doing well". </p> <p><em>Image: Andrew Parsons/Kensington Palace/ Shutterstock Editorial</em></p>

Family & Pets

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I spoke to 100 Japanese seniors, and learnt the secret to a good retirement is a good working life

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/shiori-shakuto-1537774">Shiori Shakuto</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></p> <p>What makes a good retirement? I’ve <a href="https://www.pennpress.org/9781512827088/after-work/">been researching</a> the lives of “silver backpackers”: Japanese seniors who embark on a later-life journey of self-discovery.</p> <p>Many experienced Japan’s high-growth economy, characterised by rigid gender roles. For many men who worked as iconic cultural figures of <em><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salaryman">sarariiman</a></em> (white collar workers), excessive working hours were normalised and expected. Their absence from home was compensated by their female partners, many full-time stay-at-home mothers.</p> <p>Entering their 60s meant either retirement from work, or children leaving home. For men and women, retirement is understood as an opportunity to live a life for themselves, leading to a journey of self-discovery.</p> <h2>Dedicating life to work</h2> <p>I interviewed more than 100 older Japanese women and men and found a significant disparity in the quality of life between them.</p> <p>Japanese retired men who led a work-oriented life struggled to find meaning at the initial stages of retirement.</p> <p>One man I spoke to retired at the age of 60 from a large trading company. He was a successful businessman, having travelled the world and held various managerial positions in the company. His wife looked after the children most of the time.</p> <p>They bought a house with a yard in a suburb so the children could attend a good school. It significantly increased his commute, and further reduced his time with children. He also worked on weekends. He barely had time to develop his hobbies or get to know his neighbours.</p> <p>He idealised his retirement as a time to finally spend with his family and develop his own hobbies. When he retired, however, he realised that he and his family didn’t have any common topics of conversation.</p> <p>Through decades of excessive hours spent at work away from home, the rest of the family established a routine that did not include him. Taking up new hobbies at the age of 60 was not as easy as he thought, nor was making new friends at this age.</p> <p>“I became a <em>nureochiba</em>,” he lamented. <em>Nureochiba</em> refers to the wet fallen leaves that linger and are difficult to get rid of. The term is commonly used to describe retired men with no friends or hobbies who constantly accompany their wives.</p> <p>The retirement for many former <em>sarariiman</em> was characterised by boredom – having nowhere to go to or having nothing to do. The sense of boredom led to a sense of isolation and low confidence in old age. Many older Japanese men I spoke to lament not having built a connection with their children or communities at a younger age.</p> <h2>Dedicating life to family and community</h2> <p>Older Japanese women I spoke with were more well-connected with their children and local communities in later life. Many were in regular contact with their children through visits, phone calls and messages. Some continued to care for them by providing food or by looking after grandchildren. Children very much appreciated them.</p> <p>Many older women who had been full-time stay-at-home mothers had already taken up hobbies or volunteering activities at community organisations, and they could accelerate these involvements in their old age.</p> <p>Even women who worked full-time seemed to maintain better connections with their family members because working excessively away from home was simply not possible for them.</p> <p>Older men relied on these women’s networks and activities conducted at the scales of home and communities – from caring for others to pursuing hobbies – to enact a meaningful retirement. The sense of connection with family and communities, not to mention their husbands’ reliance on them, led to a high confidence and wellbeing among older women.</p> <p>I saw many instances where older women preferred spending time with their female friends than their retired husbands and embarked on adventurous trips alone. One woman went on a three-month cruise alone. Feeling liberated, she sent a fax message to her husband from the ship: “When I get off this ship, I will devote the rest of my life to myself. You will have to take care of your own mother.”</p> <p>Upon disembarking, she moved to Malaysia to start her second life.</p> <h2>The silver backpackers</h2> <p>Malaysia has become a popular destination for silver backpackers looking to embark on a journey of self-discovery. Some travel as couples, while others go alone, regardless of their marital status.</p> <p>For many male silver backpackers I spoke to, moving to Malaysia offers a second chance at life to make new friends, find hobbies and, most importantly, start anew with their partners.</p> <p>For many female silver backpackers, visiting Malaysia means being able to enjoy an independent lifestyle while having the security of friends and family in Malaysia and Japan.</p> <p>The experiences of older Japanese men and women can be translated into the experiences of anyone who spent excessive hours at work and those who spent more time cultivating relationships outside of work. The activities of the latter group are not as valued in a society that narrowly defines productivity. However, my research shows that it is their activities that carry more value in old age.</p> <p>Are you under pressure to work long hours? If you can, turn off your phone and computer. Instead of organising events for work, organise a dinner with your family and friends. Take up a new hobby in your local community centres. You can change how you work and live now for a better old age.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/238571/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/shiori-shakuto-1537774"><em>Shiori Shakuto</em></a><em>, Lecturer in Anthropology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/i-spoke-to-100-japanese-seniors-and-learnt-the-secret-to-a-good-retirement-is-a-good-working-life-238571">original article</a>.</em></p>

Retirement Life

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Readers response: What’s the best book you’ve read recently, and what did you love about it?

<p>With hundreds of new books on the market, it's hard to know what are the best to recommend.</p> <p>We asked our readers what the best book they've read recently is and what did they love about it, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. </p> <p><strong>Helen Ulgekutt</strong> - The Venice Hotel by Tess Woods, loved it start to finish.</p> <p><strong>Zoy Crizzle</strong> - The Little Paris Bookshop by Nina George. Great book, so easy to read and an interesting story line. I loved it.</p> <p><strong>Keralie Stack</strong> - I have just finished Fallen Woman by Fiona McIntosh. A good read.</p> <p><strong>Karen Peardon</strong> - The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife by Anna Johnston. A great story.</p> <p><strong>Nola Schmidt</strong> - The Perfect Passion Company by Alexander McCall Smith. It was clever, witty, and gentle. </p> <p><strong>June Lennie</strong> - People of the Book by Geraldine Brooks. Interesting story set in different historical periods. Brilliantly written and researched.</p> <p><strong>Christine Hayes</strong> - Where the Crawdads Sing, just beautiful.</p> <p><strong>Sandra Moores</strong> - All That's Left Unsaid by Tracey Lien.  A great debut based in Cabramatta, very compelling read.</p> <p><strong>Greg Cudmore </strong>- 'To Alpha From Omega'. Although very much Australian, its themes are universal.</p> <p><strong>Denise Zephyr</strong> - The Days I Loved You Most. Such a beautiful story and a beautiful ending.</p> <p><strong>Marie Chong</strong> - Minding Frankie by Maeve Binchy. I love all her books, she tells a good story.</p> <p><strong>Yvonne Bercov</strong> - The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah, couldn’t put it down.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Books

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Readers response: What’s one thing you wish you had known before retiring?

<p>When it comes time to retire, there are always things we wish we knew first before entering our golden years. </p> <p>We asked our readers what they wish they knew before retiring, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. </p> <p><strong>Margaret Walsh</strong> - As long as you are fit and active, it's great. Just don't get crook or disabled, it sucks.</p> <p><strong>Judi Bradshaw</strong> - I retired 9 times and kept going back to work as I didn't find myself ready to stop work, but finally retired at 73. Took awhile to adjust but now 75 and full time travellers, just loving life.</p> <p><strong>Marcus von Moger</strong> - How good it was going to be.</p> <p><strong>Chris Bailey</strong> - How boring it is, I’d go back to work in a heartbeat if I could.</p> <p><strong>Ellen Fowler</strong> - That the government would keep changing the rules. </p> <p><strong>Michael L Carrigg</strong> - Just how long it takes dealing with government departments that clearly are understaffed, especially in the front line service areas.</p> <p><strong>Jim Burgess</strong> - Finding reasonably priced accommodation.</p> <p><strong>Nicol Kyriakidou</strong> - That it would be so great! Having the whole day to yourself. Taking it easy, meeting friends, going shopping. Doing everything at your leisure.</p> <p><strong>Gaye Johnson</strong> - You never get a day off!!!</p> <p><strong>David Brown</strong> - How good it is. I should have retired 20 years earlier.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Retirement Life

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Woman cured of Type 1 diabetes in life-changing clinical trial

<p>Marlaina Goedel was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes when she was just five-years-old, and not only was the disease controlling her, but it almost cost her life. </p> <p>"I've crashed my car into a brick building before having a diabetic attack while driving," Goedel recalled. </p> <p>Her condition was so extreme that she felt robbed of a normal childhood, telling the <em>Daily Mail </em>that she was in and out of hospital with  life-threatening diabetic ketoacidosis, which causes toxic chemicals to build up in the blood due to a lack of insulin.</p> <p>Now 30-years-old, the Illinois woman no longer needs daily insulin shots and can finally enjoy sugar again thanks to a pioneering stem cell therapy that has cured her of type 1 diabetes. </p> <p>Goedel was one of three Americans who have been cured of their type 1 diabetes thanks to the clinical trial involving an islet cell transplant. </p> <p>It is a one-off infusion that involved transplanting islet cells into her liver to help her body produce insulin on its own. </p> <p>After four weeks, she no longer needed to take insulin. </p> <p>"[My doctor] said, ‘Mark it on your calendar. Today is the day. Stop all insulin,'" Goedel said of the life-changing moment. </p> <p>"I just went quiet and finally said, ‘I’m here. I’m in shock. I’m going to need you to repeat that.’"</p> <p>The trial was being run at the University of Chicago Medicine Transplant Institute. </p> <p>While Islet cell transplants isn't a new procedure, the current anti-rejection medication used can be toxic to the transplanted cells, potentially making it less effective over time. </p> <p>The clinical trial that ran at the university tested out a new antibody called tegoprubart, which was given to Goedel and the two other patients. </p> <p>Tegoprubart is made from lab-made antibodies that trick the immune system into thinking the body made the cells on its own, preventing them from being rejected. </p> <p>The patients were then given islet cells from a deceased donor's pancreas, which were then infused into the patient's small blood vessels in their liver. Those cells then lodged into the blood vessels and started producing insulin. </p> <p>For Goedel the only side effect of the procedure was "feeling like I got punched in the ribs,"  with the procedure lasting just an hour. </p> <p>"The cure is out there," Goedel told the <em>Daily Mail. </em></p> <p>With her new lease on life, Goedel plans to go back to school and go horse riding without worrying about suffering an attack and causing an accident. </p> <p>"It took a while to get used to saying, 'I am cured. I am diabetes free.' It's been very freeing," she said.</p> <p>"No one should have to live with this disease. I know that now more than ever."</p> <p><em>Images: Good Morning America/ UChicago Medicine</em></p> <p> </p>

Caring

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Arguing with the people you love? How to have a healthy family dispute

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jessica-robles-617248">Jessica Robles</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/loughborough-university-1336">Loughborough University</a></em></p> <p>Unlike Britain’s royal family, most of us don’t have the option to move to another country when we don’t see eye to eye. But most of us have likely experienced disagreements with loved ones.</p> <p><a href="https://www.sscnet.ucla.edu/soc/faculty/heritage/Site/Publications_files/CA_as_SOCIAL_THEORY.pdf">Conversations are designed to</a> do things – to start some action, and complete it – whether it’s a service transaction, an invitation to coffee or reassurance on a bad day. Our <a href="https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=ZnhyDwAAQBAJ&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;source=gbs_ge_summary_r&amp;cad=0#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false">uniquely complex communicative system</a> has evolved to help us get things done in the social world.</p> <p>Arguments are part of this complex system. They can be unavoidable, necessary or even productive. But they can also be difficult.</p> <p>It can be hard to know what to do when tensions are high and harsh words are flying, particularly when it involves someone you’re close to. But research on how disputes unfold – and conversation more generally – offers some ideas about the best way to handle one.</p> <h2>What is a dispute?</h2> <p>There are many words for disagreeing, and there are plenty of academic theories describing what disputes are and why they happen. But arguments are not abstract models. They’re lived in, breathed in, sweated in and talked (or sometimes shouted) into being.</p> <p>Research focusing on <a href="https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/288351315.pdf">how disputes actually happen</a> shows they’re characterised by three types of features. First are the <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0378216606000488">vocal features</a>, which include talking in a higher pitch, louder and faster. Then, there are <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1750481310395452?casa_token=MCNQWEQD6HwAAAAA:8nbyXh-cgjWzfL3syRrwybRFQl_ddHIMy9tRIAwPRAFADrgHtR2LSl9ZoUFsVlnzWPjWaKQZZ9XEVA">embodied features</a> such as aggressive gestures and avoidant stances, such as turning away from someone. Finally, there are <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/01638539009544746?casa_token=BB9edpIE1oUAAAAA:FTK-JRJ2oCmG7BufkUAQX1k1_9C1Cvc12r5ynYPM6duFB-HDWhgef8Va-Rh5Z2XksR64oTcPmi4FAQ">interactional features</a> such as talking over each other, not listening or metatalk – <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/08351813.2020.1826765?casa_token=isJl2NJbSIkAAAAA:Mh-dXMfkBSGvEeoOWAoxLDjzbZ_eF-zbND-D8q4RAP5WHadqg1KUZDF_UnySFAcyb3LD-DF3BbGq1A">comments about the conversation</a> as it’s happening.</p> <p><a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1354067X9953001?casa_token=Gje17vkyg_AAAAAA:ik_4Ze-4PIFLa6yjthOpztvJrtdVOokhRT73M8jDN4t1w0Bl7WzW2--d1vjZwanphorOH_r6jaVZdA">Displays of emotion</a> such as displeasure or anger, are also common. Participants might accuse each other of emotions or label their own emotions.</p> <p>Disputes happen for several reasons. What each person is doing can vary, from <a href="https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.530.8869&amp;rep=rep1&amp;type=pdf">complaints and accusations</a> to <a href="https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1348/014466610X500791?casa_token=r58ikQ5XFxEAAAAA:QR9wr0Fcz7q5BeSvL8soAIhKMNA1O9TcpcBaLleBKDvZ8Q5sPyX1OSg0OzSL5-xb8By5QbgNm9kHNhg">demands, threats or resistance</a>.</p> <p>They can be about many things – familial obligations, what to have for dinner, politics or how to plan a holiday. Luckily, disputes share elements <a href="https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=2NxaC7nSetAC&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;source=gbs_atb#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false">with each other</a> and with conversation generally – so you don’t have to invent new strategies every time you’re caught in one.</p> <h2>Affiliation and alignment</h2> <p>When bickering with a friend or family member, there are ways to make them feel like you’re still on their side even if you disagree. If you can keep these in mind, and use them at the right time, you might stop your dispute from escalating into something harder to mend.</p> <p>The first thing is <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/9781405198431.wbeal0196.pub2">affiliation</a>, which means support for the other person or their view of things.</p> <p>Affiliation involves phrasing what you say so it’s best <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/08351810903471258?casa_token=yxnWxfDAEB8AAAAA:uoHEX2dlOS06wxwlHH7TOWmmfB51qMMbzg5tadx5SeRcf_5-vABUKQZtIt0Hchu4vUlFNfCX4qRi5A">understood and easier to respond to</a>. For example, saying “you’ve been to France before, right?” invites someone to share their experience – partly by including the tag “right” at the end, which at least requires a confirmation.</p> <p>It can also involve categorisation, the way we talk about or treat others as <a href="https://link.springer.com/content/pdf/10.1007/BF00142771.pdf">certain types or group members</a>. For example, if you reduce the other person to a stereotype through labelling – by saying something like “girls always say stuff like that” or “OK, boomer” – you risk provoking a response to the insult, not to the action in which that insult was embedded.</p> <p>The second thing we expect from any conversation is alignment – cooperating with the direction of the conversation, such as accepting or denying a request. The opposite, disalignment, might occur when a request is ignored.</p> <p>Alignment has more to do with the sequence of the conversation, how the dispute unfolds over time. Asking for clarification – a practice known as <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0136100">repair</a> – or <a href="https://www.jbe-platform.com/content/journals/10.1075/prag.27.1.03rob?crawler=true">claiming a misunderstanding</a> can treat problems as fixable errors rather than moral failings or attacks. <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0261927X17744244">Humour can diffuse</a> conflict escalation.</p> <h2>How to have a healthy dispute</h2> <p>In the course of a dispute, you need to think about when to bring these tactics out. They’re more likely to yield better outcomes earlier in the dispute. By the time it’s escalated, your responses may be viewed through the prism of the dispute and <a href="https://books.google.co.uk/books?hl=en&amp;lr=&amp;id=eFSXDwAAQBAJ&amp;oi=fnd&amp;pg=PT200&amp;ots=6tM3fJnXr1&amp;sig=Zchtur1abh25W7ERN5Q49ASRaJc#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false">any offensiveness</a> you’ve already displayed toward each other. In cases like this, teasing can come across as contempt, for example, and claims to misunderstand as bad-faith mockery.</p> <p>It can feel like disputes take on a life of their own – as if the conversation uses us rather than we use it – and this is partly because conversation can seemingly take us along for the ride (consider the difficulty of turning down invitations). We invest our identities into conversations so disputes can seem to threaten us and <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0378216618304302?casa_token=1SbOpn_2k8MAAAAA:YQ2Yb9nt-ONsmBKmVzTCx8cfl76bS5nK6_Yd8zONBVJFdJ57vwgdBDJxsXfk0aUOhilRQAF-ABA">what we stand for</a> morally.</p> <p>This may be starker with family, whose opinions of us often matter more than friends or colleagues, for example. It’s always worth stopping to reflect on what a dispute is really for, whether what you’re saying lines up with your goals and whether taking a stand is worth it.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/159565/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jessica-robles-617248">Jessica Robles</a>, Lecturer in Social Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/loughborough-university-1336">Loughborough University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/arguing-with-the-people-you-love-how-to-have-a-healthy-family-dispute-159565">original article</a>.</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Readers response: What’s your favourite destination you’ve visited later in life and why?

<p>When it comes to travelling, some destinations are better than others for different points in your life. </p> <p>We asked our readers what their favourite destination they've ever visited later in life is, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. </p> <p><strong>Robin Liersch</strong> - Africa! Not about the big cities but the animals, landscape and people are lovely. Nature at its best.</p> <p><strong>Karen Ambrose</strong> - Sri Lanka. A fabulous tour.</p> <p><strong>Sandra Way</strong> - Switzerland, such a beautiful country.</p> <p><strong>Deb Moore</strong> - Scotland! The highlands. Because of my ancestry, now that I have been there I feel so very drawn back.</p> <p><strong>Wendy Beckhouse</strong> - Cambodia, Angkor Wat is amazing. Beautiful people and great food.</p> <p><strong>Patricia Monro</strong> - Singapore. A beautiful safe country with spectacular scenery everywhere. Our family lived there for a couple of years so our visits were perfect. Simply love Singapore.</p> <p><strong>Christina Hutchings</strong> - Norway. Especially Geirangar. The people and places were fantastic. Would love to go back.</p> <p><strong>Barbara Mules</strong> - Uzbekistan, not at all what I expected. So many beautiful old buildings, good food and lovely people.</p> <p><strong>Elizabeth Jeffreys</strong> - Italy. Love the country, people and food.</p> <p><strong>Helen Dickenson</strong> - Antarctica, the Parthenon and Machu Picchu because I never thought I could physically do it but I’m glad I managed it.</p> <p><strong>Regina Johnson</strong> - South Island, New Zealand. Spectacular.</p> <p><strong>Ian J Wilson</strong> - Japan, without a doubt.</p> <p><strong>Val Goodwin</strong> - Croatia, wonderful place and people.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Travel Tips

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The science of happier dogs: 5 tips to help your canine friends live their best life

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/mia-cobb-15211">Mia Cobb</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p>When you hear about “science focused on how dogs can live their best lives with us” it sounds like an imaginary job made up by a child. However, the field of <a href="https://www.rnz.co.nz/podcast/ourchangingworld?share=2ec8e0ad-5008-4b2d-ae2e-a288e2a77f50">animal welfare science is real</a> and influential.</p> <p>As our most popular animal companion and coworker, dogs are very deserving of scientific attention. In recent years we’ve learned more about <a href="https://theconversation.com/dogs-can-get-dementia-but-lots-of-walks-may-lower-the-risk-189297">how dogs are similar to people</a>, but also how they are distinctly themselves.</p> <p>We often think about how dogs help us – as companions, <a href="https://theconversation.com/meet-moss-the-detection-dog-helping-tassie-devils-find-love-142909">working as detectors</a>, and keeping us <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-owning-a-dog-good-for-your-health-238888">safe and healthy</a>. Dog-centric science helps us <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/veterinary-science/articles/10.3389/fvets.2021.666898/full">think about the world from a four-paw perspective</a> and apply this new knowledge so dogs can enjoy a good life.</p> <p>Here are five tips to keep the tails in your life wagging happily.</p> <h2>1. Let dogs sniff</h2> <p>Sniffing <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/animal-emotions/201902/allowing-dogs-sniff-helps-them-think-positively">makes dogs happier</a>. We tend to forget they live in a smell-based world because we’re so visual. Often taking the dog for a walk is our daily physical activity but we should remember it could be our dogs’ only time out of the home environment.</p> <p>Letting them have a really good sniff of that tree or post is full of satisfying information for them. It’s their nose’s equivalent of us standing at the top of a mountain and enjoying a rich, colour-soaked, sunset view.</p> <h2>2. Give dogs agency</h2> <p>Agency is a <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/veterinary-science/articles/10.3389/fvets.2023.1284869/full">hot topic in animal welfare science</a> right now. For people who lived through the frustration of strict lockdowns in the early years of COVID, it’s easy to remember how not being able to go where we wanted, or see who we wanted, when we wanted, impacted our mental health.</p> <p>We’ve now learned that <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/veterinary-science/articles/10.3389/fvets.2023.1250251/full">giving animals choice and control</a> in their lives is important for their mental wellbeing too. We can help our dogs enjoy better welfare by creating more choices and offering them control to exercise their agency.</p> <p>This might be installing a doggy door so they can go outside or inside when they like. It could be letting them decide which sniffy path to take through your local park. Perhaps it’s choosing which three toys to play with that day from a larger collection that gets rotated around. Maybe it’s putting an old blanket down in a new location where you’ve noticed the sun hits the floor for them to relax on.</p> <p>Providing choices doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive.</p> <h2>3. Recognise all dogs are individuals</h2> <p>People commonly ascribe certain personality traits to certain dog breeds. But just like us, dogs have their own personalities <a href="https://scitechdaily.com/food-vs-toys-scientists-reveal-what-dogs-truly-prefer/">and preferences</a>. Not all dogs are going to like the same things and a new dog we live with may be completely different to the last one.</p> <p>One dog might like to go to the dog park and run around with other dogs at high speed for an hour, while another dog would much rather hang out with you chewing on something in the garden.</p> <p>We can see as much <a href="https://www.science.org/content/article/your-dog-s-breed-doesn-t-determine-its-personality-study-suggests">behavioural variation within breeds as we do between them</a>. Being prepared to meet dogs where they are, as individuals, is important to their welfare.</p> <p>As well as noticing what dogs like to do as individuals, it’s important not to force dogs into situations they don’t enjoy. <a href="https://www.rspca.org.uk/adviceandwelfare/pets/dogs/behaviour/understanding">Pay attention to behaviour</a> that indicates dogs aren’t comfortable, such as looking away, licking their lips or yawning.</p> <h2>4. Respect dogs’ choice to opt out</h2> <p>Even in our homes, we can provide options if our dogs don’t want to share in every activity with us. Having a quiet place that dogs can retreat to is really important in enabling them to opt out if they want to.</p> <p>If you’re watching television loudly, it may be too much for <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/canine-corner/202407/how-good-is-a-dogs-hearing-compared-to-humans">their sensitive ears</a>. Ensure a door is open to another room so they can retreat. Some dogs might feel overwhelmed when visitors come over; giving them somewhere safe and quiet to go rather than forcing an interaction will help them cope.</p> <p>Dogs can be terrific role models for children when teaching empathy. We can demonstrate consent by letting dogs approach us for pats and depart when they want. Like seeing exotic animals perform in circuses, dressing up dogs for our own entertainment seems to have had its day. If you asked most dogs, they don’t want to wear costumes or be part of your Halloween adventures.</p> <h2>5. Opportunities for off-lead activity – safely.</h2> <p>When dogs are allowed to run off-lead, they use space differently. They tend to explore more widely and go faster than they do when walking with us on-lead. This offers them important and fun physical activity to keep them fit and healthy.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/2AchEFiDwA8?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption><span class="caption">Demonstrating how dogs walk differently when on- and off-lead.</span></figcaption></figure> <p>A recent exploration of <a href="https://pursuit.unimelb.edu.au/articles/we-checked-if-melbourne-really-is-a-dog-friendly-city">how liveable cities are for dogs</a> mapped all the designated areas for dogs to run off-leash. Doggy density ranged from one dog for every six people to one dog for every 30 people, depending on where you live.</p> <p>It also considered how access to these areas related to the annual registration fees for dogs in each government area compared, with surprising differences noted across greater Melbourne. We noted fees varied between A$37 and $84, and these didn’t relate to how many off-lead areas you could access.</p> <p>For dog-loving nations, such as Australia, helping our canine friends live their best life feels good. <a href="https://www.rnz.co.nz/national/programmes/afternoons/audio/2018957756/our-changing-world-the-science-behind-dog-welfare">Science that comes from a four-paw perspective</a> can help us reconsider our everyday interactions with dogs and influence positive changes so we can live well, together.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/236952/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/mia-cobb-15211">Mia Cobb</a>, Research Fellow, Animal Welfare Science Centre, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-science-of-happier-dogs-5-tips-to-help-your-canine-friends-live-their-best-life-236952">original article</a>.</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Woman sentenced to life for murdering parents and living with their bodies

<p>A British woman, who murdered her parents and lived with their bodies for four years, was sentenced to life imprisonment on Friday and is not eligible for parole for 36 years. </p> <p>When Essex Police raided Virginia McCullough's house in Great Baddow last September, the 36-year-old confessed that her parents' bodies were in the house and that she had killed them. </p> <p>She admitted to poisoning her father, John McCullough, 70, with prescription medication that she put into his drink, and then a few days later, beat her 71-year-old mother Lois McCullough with a hammer and fatally stabbed her. </p> <p>“I did know that this would kind of come eventually,” she said while handcuffed in body cam footage released by police on Friday. </p> <p>“It’s proper that I serve my punishment.”</p> <p>After McCullough was arrested, she told an officer: “Cheer up, at least you’ve caught the bad guy,” adding that “I know I don’t seem 100 per cent evil.”</p> <p>Further body cam footage showed her at the police station telling officers where to find the tools she used to kill her mother. </p> <p>She had pleaded guilty to murdering her parents at a previous hearing in June 2019. </p> <p>In the words of the prosecution, McCullough kept her father in a “homemade mausoleum” in his bedroom and study, in a structure that was “composed with masonry blocks stacked together.”</p> <p>She wrapped her mother's body in a sleeping bag and put it in a wardrobe on the top floor of the property. </p> <p>In the four years after the murder, she ran up £149,697 ($AU289,792) on credit cards in her parents’ names and continued to spend their pensions.</p> <p>The court heard she cancelled family arrangements and told doctors and relatives that her parents were unwell or away on a trip. </p> <p>Statements from her three unnamed siblings were also read in court, and one said:  “our parents were completely blameless victims”. </p> <p>“Virginia always said Mum and Dad were fine and made up lie after lie about their daily activities," another said. </p> <p>Judge Jeremy Johnson said at the sentencing hearing on Friday that McCullough’s actions represented a “gross violation of the trust that should exist between parents and their children.”</p> <p>Judge Johnson said that she had  maintained an “elaborate, extensive and enduring web of deceit” over months and years and that he was sure there was  a “substantial degree of both pre-meditation and planning," that went into the murder. </p> <p>Essex Police said documents found in the home showed that McCullough was trying desperately” to keep her parents from discovering the poor state of her finances, and gave “false assurances” about her employment and future prospects.</p> <p>“She is an intelligent manipulator who chose to kill her parents callously, without a thought for them or those who continue to suffer as a result of their loss,” said Detective Superintendent Rob Kirby. </p> <p>"The details of this case shock and horrify even the most experienced of murder detectives, let alone any right-thinking member of the public.”</p> <p><em>Image: Essex Police/ 7NEWS</em></p> <p> </p>

Legal

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"Absolute honour": Federer's stirring words as Nadal hangs up his racquet

<p>Roger Federer and Novak Djokovic have led a wave of tributes after Rafael Nadal announced he would be retiring from playing professional tennis. </p> <p>Nadal announced the news in an emotional Instagram video, where he thanked his family, team, friends and loyal fans for their support, while announcing that the David Cup Finals in November would be his last competition. </p> <p>In his video, the Spanish tennis champion also thanked his "greatest rivals" for giving him fierce competition throughout his stellar career. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/DA8EpTsg3iV/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/DA8EpTsg3iV/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Rafa Nadal (@rafaelnadal)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Those great rivals were the first to honour Nadal after his shock announcement, with Roger Federer sharing a photo of their pair sitting side by side, both in tears, as the Swiss great announced his own retirement two years ago. </p> <p>He wrote, “What a career, Rafa! I always hoped this day would never come. Thank you for the unforgettable memories and all your incredible achievements in the game we love. It’s been an absolute honour.”</p> <p>Novak Djokovic also shared a message for Nadal, posting a photo collage of their friendship behind the scenes. </p> <p>“Rafa, one post is not enough to express the respect I have for you and what you have done for our sport,” the 24-time Grand Slam title winner wrote.</p> <p>“You have inspired millions of children to start playing tennis and I think that’s probably the greatest achievement anyone can wish for. Your tenacity, dedication, fighting spirit is going to be taught for decades. Your legacy will live forever."</p> <p>“Only you know what you had to endure to become an icon of tennis and sport in general. Thank you for pushing me to the limit so many times in our rivalry.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Daniel Irungu/EPA-EFE/Shutterstock Editorial </em></p>

Retirement Life

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"20 years to life": Bali's brutal new law

<p>Major changers are coming into effect for foreigners in Bali. </p> <p>Indonesia's Department of Immigration has doubled down on its zero-tolerance approach to unruly tourists, as those found in breach of immigration laws or have overstayed their visas could be sentenced to life behind bars. </p> <p>Crimes that were previously punishable with sentences from six months to one year in prison are increasing to jail-time of up to 20 years, according to <em>The Bali Sun</em>. </p> <p>“Indonesia is a country that upholds the tourism sector, but comfort must be accompanied by order. We want foreign nationals who come to Indonesia to understand and follow the rules and norms that apply in this country,” Director General of Immigration Law and Human Rights Silmy Karim said, according to local newspaper <em>Nusa Bali</em>.</p> <p>“We also try to ensure that those who come are quality tourists, through strengthening intelligence co-operation and information exchange with other countries.”</p> <p>There will also be an increase in immigration checkpoint officers, patrol officers and investigators, and more mobile taskforces. </p> <p>The rules won't affect tourists who apply for temporary visas on arrival and leave with in the mandated 30-day period or extend their visa and leave within 60 days. </p> <p>The Indonesian government has recently cracked down on foreigners overstaying their welcome, deporting more than 400 people this year alone for violating immigration laws. </p> <p>Just last year, a dozen Australians were among more than 200 foreigners kicked out of Bali for abusing the visa system by doing illegal business or working in Bali. </p> <p>This follows the introduction of the tourist tax and the release of their tourist dos and don'ts list, as they attempt to monitor foreigners' activities. </p> <p><em>Image: </em><em>AsiaTravel / Shutterstock.com</em></p> <p> </p>

Legal

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Olympian's life "a living nightmare" after simple self-check out mistake

<p>A former Olympian has spoken about how her life was ruined after she accidentally failed to scan to items at a self-checkout machine in Walmart. </p> <p>Canadian athlete Meaggan Pettipiece, 48, was arrested on March 28 in Indiana for theft, possession of marijuana and possession of a controlled substance.</p> <p>The charges have since been dropped, but Pettipiece lost her prestigious job as the head coach of the Valparaiso University softball team as a result and says her career and reputation have been ruined. </p> <p>The ordeal began when the self-checkout machine at Walmart reportedly failed to scan the asparagus and ham that Pettipiece intended to purchase. </p> <p>Walmart security saw that she failed to scan the items  — worth a total of $67 — prompting them to call the police despite her having paid $167 for her other groceries.</p> <p>Pettipiece was arrested and when police searched her they found three disposable vapes in her purse, along with two unopened blister packs containing anti-nausea medication Zofran.</p> <p>The former athlete said the vapes did not contain any nicotine or THC, and the anti-nausea pills belonged to an assistant coach who had asked her to keep them in her purse during a softball game, days before her arrest. </p> <p>“We both forgot about them,” Pettipiece told the<em> National Post.</em></p> <p>The outlet reported that earlier this month, her lawyer submitted an application for dismissal that included her account of the incident, proof of her assistant’s prescription, and character reference letters.</p> <p>After reading the application, her charges were dropped by justice officials on September 19, but the damage caused by the incident "changed everything". </p> <p>“It is bittersweet,” she told <em>National Post</em>.</p> <p>“I’m happy, obviously, the charges were dismissed. The sad part is the damage it did to my career. It has changed everything in my life.”</p> <p>Pettipiece resigned as head coach of the softball team shortly after the Walmart incident. </p> <p>"It's been five months, a living nightmare. I lost my career, I lost my job, the life I was building and it's been really difficult."</p> <p>Along with the damage to her career, Pettipiece said the effect on her reputation has been equally heartbreaking. </p> <p>“The softball community is a tight-knit group and it (the news) went through like wildfire,” she said. </p> <p>“You really do learn who the people are that really believe in you and trust you and are truly a friend for you." </p> <p>The former athlete is now living in Ohio with her family, and though the charges against her have been dismissed she is worried the damage "can't be reversed". </p> <p>“The tough thing is, how do you get out to people that you are innocent? And this damage was done for something so ridiculous,” Pettipiece told the outlet.</p> <p>“I’m not sure of the future. For now, I’m going to stay at home and focus on my kids. I’d like to figure out which direction I’m going to go in.”</p> <p><em>Image: Valparaiso University Athletics/ </em><em>ZikG / Shutterstock.com</em></p> <p> </p>

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Sam Neill expresses gratitude for modern medicine that extended his life

<p>Sam Neill was diagnosed with stage three angioimmunoblastic T-cell lymphoma - a form of blood cancer in 2022. He has since gone into remission and in his latest interview, expressed his deep gratitude for the medical advancements that have made his recovery possible. </p> <p>He underwent chemotherapy after his cancer diagnosis, but it stopped working after three months. He then switched his treatment to a rare anti-cancer drug which led him into remission. </p> <p>In his recent appearance on Kate Thornton’s <em>White Wine Question Time</em> podcast,  he expressed his gratitude and optimism, praising the "strides" that have been made in modern medicine over the past two decades. </p> <p>“I’m in remission and as you see, I’m hard at work and enjoying life immensely,” he said.</p> <p>“I’m very grateful for not just the wonderful care I’ve had from doctors and nurses and so on, but also the strides that have been made in treating these things in the last few years." </p> <p>He then shared insights into his current treatment and acknowledged that while it remains challenging, things are improving. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/DAInw1goPgF/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/DAInw1goPgF/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by White Wine Question Time (@whitewine_questiontime)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“If this had happened to me 20 years ago, I wouldn’t be around to talk to you," he said. </p> <p>“I go in [for treatment] once a month now. But it used to be three times a month and it’s down to once a month now.</p> <p>“You have sort three or four horrible days afterwards and then all is well and you cheer up and I go to the gym and all that.”</p> <p>Despite the advances in medicine, in a previous interview with <em>Australian Story</em>, he admitted that he's aware the drug won't continue working forever, saying:  “I’m prepared for that.” </p> <p> “I know I’ve got it, but I’m not really interested in it. It’s out of my control. If you can’t control it, don’t get into it," he added of his cancer. </p> <p><em>Image: Instagram</em></p>

Caring

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King Charles gives woman "the surprise of her life" on 87th birthday

<p>King Charles has given a woman "the surprise of her life" for her 87th  birthday. </p> <p>Alice Ryce was visiting Dumfries House for her special day, when she bumped into the monarch who was walking around the grounds. </p> <p>The sweet interaction happened last week, but was only just shared to social media on Tuesday, and showed the birthday girl chatting with His Majesty. </p> <p>"Whilst enjoying a visit to the estate, which is open to the public, Alice unexpectedly met His Majesty, who was delighted to share in her special day," the caption in the video read. </p> <p>"The King was in Ayrshire to support the work of The King's Foundation, headquartered at Dumfries House. Happy birthday, Alice!"</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/DAQ8jRSIPFi/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/DAQ8jRSIPFi/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Dumfries House (@dumfrieshouse)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>King Charles was wearing a light coloured suit and surrounded by minimal staff and security. He also wore a pair of sunglasses and carried an outdoor walking stick. </p> <p>While it's not uncommon for those celebrating their 100th birthday to get a birthday message from the King, it's very rare for anyone else to receive a birthday message from the monarch, let alone chat with him. </p> <p>Just hours after the clip was posted it gained over 30,000 likes with hundreds of comments, many of them sending their birthday wishes to Alice.</p> <p>"How wonderful!! The King always seems so approachable and such a generous person, so glad to see him looking fit and healthy. And what a wonderful surprise for Alice on her birthday, one she’ll never forget! Happy Birthday Alice and God Save The King!!" one wrote. </p> <p>"Awe she must have been so happy to see you King Charles. What a lucky day for both of you," another added. </p> <p>"What a lovely surprise for Alice," a third wrote. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p> <p> </p>

International Travel

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Arrests made after woman ends her life in "suicide pod"

<p>Police in Switzerland have made several arrests in connection with a woman's death in the Australian-made "suicide pod". </p> <p>The 'Sarco' capsule was used for the first time by a 64-year-old American woman who was “immune compromised” and had been in “severe pain” for “at least two years”. </p> <p>The pod is designed for the user to push a button that injects nitrogen gas into the sealed chamber, with the person inside then supposed to fall asleep and die of suffocation in a few minutes.</p> <p>The Sarco machine (short for sarcophagus) was invented by Australian Dr Philip Nitschke, who has been nicknamed “Dr Death”, said the machine had performed exactly as it had been designed", with the woman's death occurring as "expected". </p> <p>“It looked exactly as we expected it to look. My guess is that she lost consciousness within two minutes and that she died after five minutes,” Dr Nitschke told Dutch media.</p> <p>“We saw sudden, small contractions and movements of the muscles in her arms, but she was probably already unconscious by then.”</p> <p>Dr Nitschke claimed the woman “almost immediately” pressed the button, adding, “She didn’t say anything. She really wanted to die.”</p> <p>However, despite the woman's wishes to take her own life, Swiss police announced that several people were taken into custody over the woman's death and are now facing criminal charges, suspected of “inducement and aiding and abetting suicide.”</p> <p>The arrests took place despite the fact that Dr Nitschke had previously told AP that his organisation received advice from lawyers in Switzerland that the use of the Sarco would be legal in the country, where active euthanasia is banned but assisted dying has been legal for decades.</p> <p><em><strong>Need to talk to someone? Don't go it alone. </strong></em></p> <p><em><strong>Call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or visit lifeline.org.au</strong></em></p> <p><em><strong>Beyond Blue: 1300 224 636</strong></em></p> <p><em><strong>SANE: 1800 187 263; saneforums.org</strong></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Exit International </em></p>

Caring