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Woman horrified after man brings his mother to first date

<p dir="ltr">A woman has been left stunned after her crush invited his mother to infiltrate their first date. </p> <p dir="ltr">The young woman took to Reddit to recall the mortifying moment, and to ask users if she was out of line by leaving the awkward date. </p> <p dir="ltr">The 23-year-old began the story by explaining how she matched with a 25-year-old man, who she referred to as Jake, on the dating app Hinge. </p> <p dir="ltr">She explained that the couple had been “chatting for a few weeks, and he seemed like a solid guy — funny, good taste in music, and even remembered I loved Italian food.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“He planned the date at this nice little spot in Dallas, which I thought was sweet,” she added. </p> <p dir="ltr">She continued, “I show up, and everything's fine at first. He's already there, we hug, and he even complimented my outfit.” </p> <p dir="ltr">“But like five minutes after I sit down, this older woman walks in. Jake stands up, waves her over, and says, ‘This is my mom!’ 'I thought I misheard him for a second.”</p> <p dir="ltr">After he introduced his mother to his date, she pulled up a chair and began asking the 23-year-old a slew of invasive questions. </p> <p dir="ltr">“She sits down at the table, all casual, and starts introducing herself to me like this is normal. Meanwhile, I'm sitting there, trying to figure out if I'm being pranked. I kind of laugh nervously and say, ‘Oh, I didn't know you were bringing anyone,’ and he goes, ‘Oh, she just wanted to meet you. Don't worry—it's not a big deal’.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“But it was a big deal because she didn't just stop by to say hi — she ordered wine and stayed. The whole time, she's asking me these personal questions about my job, my family, even if I want kids someday.” </p> <p dir="ltr">“It was like an interview, not a date. Jake barely said anything. He just smiled and kept nodding like this was all normal,” she revealed. </p> <p dir="ltr">The woman then shared that after 20 minutes of the awkward encounter, she decided to leave, and texted Jake that same evening to say she didn’t want to go on another date. </p> <p dir="ltr">She said, “I couldn't take it anymore. I said I wasn't feeling great and needed to leave. I texted him later, saying I didn't think it would work out and wished him well.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Although she thought she did the right thing, she began doubting her decision and questioned if she was in the wrong. </p> <p dir="ltr">The 23-year-old concluded the post by asking, '”Now I feel kind of bad. My roommate says I did the right thing because honestly, who brings their mom to a first date? But my coworker said it was rude to just leave and that maybe his mom was just super close to him or nervous for him or whatever. Was I wrong for walking out?”</p> <p dir="ltr">Reddit users flocked to the comments section and ran to her defence as they slammed Jake for bringing his mother along on the date. </p> <p dir="ltr">One person said, “It's absurd that he would bring her. Unless she needs constant supervision due to some health issue. That is a very strange dynamic. You did what most anyone else would have done. Best of luck.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p>

Relationships

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What does a good death look like when you’re really old and ready to go?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/naomi-richards-182120">Naomi Richards</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-glasgow-1269">University of Glasgow</a></em></p> <p><a href="https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/hawaii-legalizes-assisted-suicide_us_5ac6c6f5e4b0337ad1e621fb">Hawaii</a> recently joined the growing number of states and countries where doctor-assisted dying is legal. In these jurisdictions, help to die is rarely extended to those who don’t have a terminal illness. Yet, increasingly, very old people, without a terminal illness, who feel that they have lived too long, are arguing that they also have a right to such assistance.</p> <p>Media coverage of <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2018/05/09/this-104-year-old-plans-to-die-tomorrow-and-hopes-to-change-views-on-assisted-suicide/?utm_term=.b00a9036f9bc">David Goodall</a>, the 104-year-old Australian scientist who travelled to Switzerland for assisted dying, demonstrates the level of public interest in ethical dilemmas at the <a href="https://www.bmj.com/content/361/bmj.k1891.full">extremities of life</a>. Goodall wanted to die because he no longer enjoyed life. Shortly before his death, he told reporters that he spends most of his day just sitting. “What’s the use of that?” he asked.</p> <p><a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0277953615002889?via%3Dihub">Research</a> shows that life can be a constant struggle for the very old, with social connections hard to sustain and health increasingly fragile. <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25982088">Studies</a> looking specifically at the motivation for assisted dying among the very old show that many feel a deep sense of loneliness, tiredness, an inability to express their individuality by taking part in activities that are important to them, and a hatred of dependency.</p> <p>Of the jurisdictions where assisted dying is legal, some make suffering the determinant (Canada, for example). Others require a prognosis of six months (California, for example). Mainly, though, the focus is on people who have a terminal illness because it is seen as less of an ethical problem to hasten the death of someone who is already dying than someone who is simply tired of life.</p> <h2>Why give precedence to physical suffering?</h2> <p>Assisted dying for people with psychological or existential reasons for wanting to end their life is unlikely to be supported by doctors because it is not objectively verifiable and also potentially remediable. In the Netherlands, despite the legal power to offer assistance where there is no life-limiting illness, doctors are <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25693947">seldom convinced</a> of the unbearable nature of non-physical suffering, and so will rarely administer a lethal dose in such cases.</p> <p>Although doctors may look to a physical diagnosis to give them confidence in their decision to hasten a patient’s death, physical symptoms are often not mentioned by the people they are assisting. Instead, the most common reason given by those who have received help to die is <a href="https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMms1700606">loss of autonomy</a>. Other common reasons are to avoid burdening others and not being able to enjoy one’s life – the exact same reason given by Goodall. This suggests that requests from people with terminal illness, and from those who are just very old and ready to go, are not as different as both the law – and doctors’ interpretation of the law – claim them to be.</p> <h2>Sympathetic coverage</h2> <p>It seems that the general public does not draw a clear distinction either. Most of the media coverage of Goodall’s journey to Switzerland was sympathetic, to the dismay of <a href="http://www.carenotkilling.org.uk/press-releases/centenarians-assisted-suicide/">opponents</a> of assisted dying.</p> <p>Media reports about <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2014/sep/02/mary-berry-great-british-bake-off-centenarian-assisted-dying">ageing celebrities</a> endorsing assisted dying in cases of both terminal illness and very old age, blur the distinction still further.</p> <p>One of the reasons for this categorical confusion is that, at root, this debate is about what a good death looks like, and this doesn’t rely on prognosis; it relies on <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/01459740.2016.1255610">personality</a>. And, it’s worth remembering, the personalities of the very old are as diverse as those of the very young.</p> <p>Discussion of assisted suicide often focuses on concerns that some older people may be exposed to coercion by carers or family members. But older people also play another role in this debate. They make up the rank and file <a href="http://www.ep.liu.se/ej/ijal/2012/v7/i1/a01/ijal12v7i1a01.pdf">activists</a> of the global right-to-die movement. In this conflict of rights, protectionist impulses conflict with these older activists’ demands to die on their own terms and at a time of their own choosing.</p> <p>In light of the <a href="https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/worlds-older-population-grows-dramatically">unprecedented ageing</a> of the world’s population and increasing longevity, it is important to think about what a good death looks like in deep old age. In an era when more jurisdictions are passing laws to permit doctor-assisted dying, the choreographed death of a 104-year-old, who died listening to Ode to Joy after enjoying a last fish supper, starts to look like a socially approved good death.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/96589/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/naomi-richards-182120">Naomi Richards</a>, Lecturer in Social Science (End of Life Studies), <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-glasgow-1269">University of Glasgow</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-does-a-good-death-look-like-when-youre-really-old-and-ready-to-go-96589">original article</a>.</em></p>

Caring

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"God's problem now": Man's hilarious obituary for his father goes viral

<p>A man's hilarious obituary for his father has gone viral, after he claimed his late dad's antics were "God's problem now."</p> <p>Texas man Charles Boehm wrote the obituary for his father Robert, who died at the age of 74 on October 6th after he fell and hit his head. </p> <p>When Charles was given the task of writing the notice for his father, he wanted to make it funny in a way that would reflect his dad's character, rather than making it a sombre and serious obit. </p> <p>“Robert Adolph Boehm, in accordance with his lifelong dedication to his own personal brand of decorum, muttered his last unintelligible and likely unnecessary curse on October 6, 2024, shortly before tripping backward over ‘some stupid bleeping thing’ and hitting his head on the floor,” the obituary read.</p> <p>He joked that his Catholic father managed to get his mother pregnant three times in five years, allowing him to avoid getting drafted to fight in the Vietnam War.</p> <p>“Much later, with Robert possibly concerned about the brewing conflict in Grenada, Charles was born in 1983,” Charles wrote.</p> <p>“This lack of military service was probably for the best, as when taking up shooting as a hobby in his later years, he managed to blow not one, but two holes in the dash of his own car on two separate occasions, which unfortunately did not even startle, let alone surprise, his dear wife Dianne, who was much accustomed to such happenings in his presence and may have actually been safer in the jungles of Vietnam the entire time.”</p> <p>Charles wrote of his father's hilarious hobby, saying, “Robert also kept a wide selection of harmonicas on hand — not to play personally, but to prompt his beloved dogs to howl continuously at odd hours of the night to entertain his many neighbours, and occasionally to give to his many, many, many grandchildren and great-grandchildren to play loudly during long road trips with their parents.”</p> <p>Earlier this year, Robert’s wife and Charles’ mother, Dianne, passed away, with Charles writing that God had “finally” shown her mercy and given her some peace and quiet.</p> <p>“Without Dianne to gleefully entertain, Robert shifted his creative focus to the entertainment of you, the fine townspeople of Clarendon, Texas. Over the last eight months, if you have not met Robert or seen his road show yet, you probably would have soon,” the obituary read.</p> <p>“We have all done our best to enjoy/weather Robert’s antics up to this point, but he is God’s problem now.”</p> <p>The obit was shared to social media and quickly went viral, with many praising Charles for his unique and heartfelt writing. </p> <p>“You ever read an obituary and think, ‘Dang, I’m sorry I never had the chance to meet them. They seemed pretty cool’. That’s me with this guy,” one person wrote.</p> <p><em>Image credits: dignitymemorial.com</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Man clinging to esky rescued after Hurricane Milton ravages entire state

<p>A man has been dramatically rescued after he drifted more than 50km out to sea after being hit by the terrifying storm of Hurricane Milton. </p> <p>The record-breaking storm system ravaged the US state of Florida on Thursday, as the death toll has risen to 14 at the time of writing.</p> <p>One fisherman survived the storm by clinging to an esky and was rescued by the US Coast Guard in the Gulf of Mexico after his boat was stranded overnight in dangerous waters.</p> <p>“This man survived in a nightmare scenario for even the most experienced mariner,” Lieutenant Commander Dana Grady of the US Coast Guard said of the dramatic rescue.</p> <p>“To understand the severity of the hurricane conditions, we estimate he experienced approximately 75 to 90mph winds, 20- to 25-foot (six to seven metre ) seas, for an extended period of time to include overnight."</p> <p>“He survived because of a lifejacket, his emergency position indicating locator beacon and a cooler.”</p> <p>The storm swept through the city of Tampa, causing widespread destruction throughout the south-east of the state, with many residents now dealing with power outages and extensive debris. </p> <p>Amongst those stranded during the flash flooding were 135 residents of an aged care home, with many  wheelchair-bound residents spending the night sitting in water up to their waste before they were rescued the next morning.</p> <p>“This is a neighbourhood that doesn’t have a lot … They’ve lost everything,” Hillsborough County Sheriff Chad Chronister told <em>CNN</em>.</p> <p>“These are people who live day-to-day and they have nothing … Your heart shatters for these people.”</p> <p>Florida Governor Ron DeSantis said, “We’ll survey the damage and get people back on their feet – we’ll get through this.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Instagram - US Coast Guard</em></p>

Travel Trouble

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200-year-old message in a bottle unearthed

<p>In a discovery that has the archaeology world buzzing (and possibly rolling its ancient eyes), a team of student volunteers in northern France has unearthed something rather unexpected during their dig at a Gaulish village.</p> <p>While they were hoping for the usual – ancient pottery shards, perhaps a coin or two – they instead stumbled upon what can only be described as the 19th-century equivalent of a DM in a bottle.</p> <p>The scene played out like a low-budget historical drama: volunteers painstakingly sifting through centuries-old dirt on the cliff-tops near Dieppe when, voilà! They found an earthenware pot containing a small glass vial, like something you might see in a vintage pharmacy, but with fewer essential oils and more existential surprises.</p> <p>Guillaume Blondel, the team leader and head of the archaeological service for the nearby town of Eu, was immediately intrigued. “It was the kind of vial that women used to wear around their necks containing smelling salts,” he explained, before casually dropping the bombshell: inside the vial was a note.</p> <p>Cue dramatic music.</p> <p>After what we can only assume was a long, suspenseful pause, Blondel and his team opened the note, which turned out to be written by none other than P.J. Féret, a 19th-century intellectual who clearly had a flair for both excavation and theatrics.</p> <p>The note, written with all the panache of a man who had just unearthed Caesar’s salad fork, read:</p> <p>"P.J. Féret, a native of Dieppe, member of various intellectual societies, carried out excavations here in January 1825. He continues his investigations in this vast area known as the Cité de Limes or Caesar’s Camp."</p> <p>Naturally, Blondel was floored. “It was an absolutely magic moment,” he said, no doubt imagining Féret winking at him from the beyond. “We knew there had been excavations here in the past, but to find this message from 200 years ago? It was a total surprise.”</p> <p>Local records confirm that P.J. Féret was indeed the real deal. He wasn’t just a dabbler in dirt – he was a notable dabbler in dirt who had conducted an earlier dig at the site in 1825.</p> <p>In a stroke of irony not lost on Blondel, he mused, “Most archaeologists prefer to think that there won’t be anyone coming after them because they’ve done all the work.” Féret, however, clearly believed in leaving a trail of breadcrumbs – or, in this case, a literal note in a bottle, just to remind future archaeologists that he got there first. Féret: 1, Modern Archaeology: 0.</p> <p>Of course, this whole affair raises some important questions: Did Féret expect someone to find this? Did he laugh to himself as he buried it, imagining Blondel’s reaction? Did Féret know how cliff erosion would eventually turn his humble Gaulish village into a treasure trove for future archaeologists? Or was he simply trolling them from the past?</p> <p>Whatever the case, Féret’s note may not have contained ancient secrets, but it certainly delivered some 19th-century sass. And if we’ve learned anything from this dig, it’s this: archaeology isn’t just about discovering the past – it’s also about being occasionally roasted by it.</p> <p>As Blondel and his team continue their emergency dig (which was ordered due to cliff erosion eating away at the site like a bad buffet), they’ve already uncovered a number of artefacts, mostly pottery, from around 2,000 years ago. But will any of <em>them</em> have the audacity to leave a note for the archaeologists of 2225?</p> <p>We’ll have to wait and see. In the meantime, Féret is probably laughing somewhere in the afterlife, shaking his head and muttering, “Amateurs”.</p> <p><em>Images: <span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">Guillaume Blondel / Facebook</span></em></p>

International Travel

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Twelve-year-old boy falls to his death on cruise

<p>A 12-year-old boy has fallen to his death onboard the Royal Caribbean Harmony of the Seas, as guests watched on in horror. </p> <p>The cruise was nearing the end of its itinerary on Sunday and was heading back to Texas after its seven-day cruise around the Western Caribbean when the incident occurred. </p> <p>Witnesses recalled that the boy was playing with a group of friends he had made on the ship before he tumbled over a 13-storey balcony, falling into the internal Central Park area of the ship, a plaza filled with bars, pubs and restaurants.</p> <p>Royal Caribbean staff attempted to resuscitate the youngster, but he died before the ship docked in Texas.</p> <p>The cruise company shared a statement that a death had occurred onboard but refused to share any more information as investigations into the incident began.</p> <p>Witnesses took to a Facebook page for passengers to share their condolences to the boy's grieving family, and share their version of event. </p> <p>"My daughter was friends with him and said he was upset today," posted passenger Sara Tullas. "She is so upset. I wish I would have known he was struggling today."</p> <p>The boy had taken part in the cruise's teen-club, and many passengers said their children had got to know the boy before his death.</p> <p>"The conversations I have had to have with my son really tripped me up," wrote Shannon Elizabeth on the Facebook page. "My son and him actually got really close on the cruise, and he saw too much of what happened."</p> <p>"My family and I saw the incident unfold right before us as we were looking down into Central Park from the pool deck," wrote Christa Schoolfield. "We did not see whether he jumped or was playing around."</p> <p>Another passenger wrote, "I looked over the railing after the emergency alert and wish I didn’t."</p> <p>"All I ask is to please hug your children tight and tell your family members you love them. Life can change in an instant. Today I was hiding ducks in Central Park and one second later a child's life was gone in front of me."</p> <p>Friends said the boy was on board with his family, including two sisters, for a birthday celebration.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Travel Trouble

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Six old-school strategies to cope with disruptive airport tech

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/christopher-schaberg-1451119">Christopher Schaberg</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/arts-and-sciences-at-washington-university-in-st-louis-5659">Arts &amp; Sciences at Washington University in St. Louis</a></em></p> <p>Ten years ago I wrote a book titled “<a href="https://www.bloomsbury.com/us/end-of-airports-9781501305498/">The End of Airports</a>” about how digital technologies and commercial air travel were on a collision course. Earlier this summer, I was proved right.</p> <p>In July, <a href="https://theconversation.com/massive-it-outage-spotlights-major-vulnerabilities-in-the-global-information-ecosystem-235155">a cybersecurity software outage</a> snarled airports around the world. Airlines took weeks to get back to normal. Delta was particularly <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2024/08/07/business/delta-passengers-sue-crowdstrike-meltdown/index.html">hard hit</a>, with some <a href="https://apnews.com/article/crowdstrike-technology-outage-fallout-delta-c287aaded657a1092724b222435c3d16">7,000 flights canceled</a> and delays lasting well into August.</p> <p>As an expert on air travel who contemplates flight from <a href="https://www.bloomsbury.com/us/textual-life-of-airports-9781441189684/">a humanistic and cultural studies perspective</a>, I think the new technologies woven into air-travel management are a double-edged sword. While they enhance elements of safety and efficiency, they can also make the entire system <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2024/07/crowdstrike-failure-warning-solutions/679174/">more fragile and vulnerable</a>.</p> <h2>The downsides of digital technology</h2> <p>To be fair, aviation depends on technology. Humans would never have gotten off the ground without it. But new technology can create new problems even as it solves old ones. The latest digital tech offers necessarily imperfect ways to manage a vast, intricate network of places, machines and people.</p> <p>And as the computer systems get more fine-tuned and integrated, they also can result in catastrophic failures, precisely because of the connective nature of tech. And let’s not even talk about <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-hot-weather-and-climate-change-affect-airline-flights-80795">the weather</a>.</p> <p>The past summer’s <a href="https://www.cbsnews.com/news/crowdstrike-outage-bug-bad-data-falcon-update-microsoft/">software glitch event</a> won’t be the last time some unforeseen variable brings air travel to a halt. Fortunately, travelers don’t have to depend solely on airport technology systems or our own smart devices for seamless travel. Here are six analog strategies that travelers can use to cope with air travel debacles:</p> <h2>Old-school flying suggestions</h2> <ol> <li> <p><strong>Pack smart for potential delays.</strong> Make sure you have a carry-on that includes whatever you’d need for an unplanned overnight stay at a hotel – or worse, on an airport floor. Take <a href="https://www.tsa.gov/travel/security-screening/liquids-rule">Transportation Security Administration-approved toiletries</a> and enough clothes so you can deal with a layover somewhere you didn’t expect. And wear comfortable shoes.</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>Be kind to airline employees and airport staff, who can’t control delays or cancellations.</strong> Remember that no one airline employee can automatically fix the problem when a software malfunction happens or a freak storm grounds planes. But if you are kind and patient, an airline employee may just comp you a hotel room or give you a more generous rebooking arrangement. Also: It’s just the humane thing to do.</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>Purchase your tickets directly from airlines.</strong> It’s not worth saving $20 or $50 on a ticket deal from a third-party vendor. When delays and cancellations happen, if you have such a ticket, the airline will have less interest in aiding you. Buying tickets directly from the airline will help you get back in the air quicker.</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>Have a plan B.</strong> In the event that your connecting flight is canceled mid-trip, have you contacted someone you know in that city? Or have you researched hotels easily accessible from the airport? What would it take to get a comfortable spot for a night? A little homework can go a long way if you end up stranded.</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>Bring healthy snacks and other supplies.</strong> It’s smart to pack vitamins, zinc, hydration packets, a reusable water bottle, medications, hand sanitizer, or whatever helps bolster your health during a travel stint. If you get waylaid for a few hours or overnight, preplanning some self-care items can help you avoid contagious illnesses and general fatigue.</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>Enjoy the airport.</strong> It’s a fascinating place where so many people converge. If you’re <a href="https://stuckattheairport.com">stuck at the airport</a> for several hours, use that time to find interesting things in the concourses. You might discover art shows, a great bookstore, a yoga room or a movie theater. It can be tempting to just stand around the gate area and seethe. But it’s more fun to move around the airport and explore what’s there.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/237372/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> </li> </ol> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/christopher-schaberg-1451119"><em>Christopher Schaberg</em></a><em>, Director of Public Scholarship, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/arts-and-sciences-at-washington-university-in-st-louis-5659">Arts &amp; Sciences at Washington University in St. Louis</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/if-new-technologies-snarl-your-airline-experience-here-are-old-school-strategies-to-cope-237372">original article</a>.</em></p>

Travel Trouble

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Can a 10-year-old be responsible for a crime? Here’s what brain science tells us

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/susan-m-sawyer-109573">Susan M. Sawyer</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/nandi-vijayakumar-1644262">Nandi Vijayakumar</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757"><em>Deakin University</em></a></em></p> <p>The age a child can be arrested, charged and jailed in Australia is back in the spotlight.</p> <p>Last year, the Northern Territory became the first jurisdiction to raise the age of criminal responsibility from ten to 12. Now its new, tough-on-crime government has pledged to <a href="https://www.sbs.com.au/nitv/article/incoming-chief-minister-says-age-of-criminal-responsibility-to-be-lowered-to-10-years-old/a1xm9jy9c">return it to ten</a>. It comes after Victoria <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-08-13/victoria-youth-justice-reform-criminal-age/104217160">walked back</a> its earlier commitment to raise the age to 14, settling instead on 12.</p> <p>But the United Nations Committee on the Rights of the Child says 14 should be the absolute <a href="https://www.ohchr.org/en/documents/general-comments-and-recommendations/general-comment-no-24-2019-childrens-rights-child">minimum</a>. It raised this age from its earlier recommendation (in 2007) of 12, citing a decade of new research into child and adolescent development.</p> <p>So what does the science say? What happens to the brain between ten and 14? And how much can those under 14 understand the consequences of their actions?</p> <h2>Who is an adolescent?</h2> <p>Our research shows adolescence is a <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30169257/">critical period</a> for development. It’s the time children’s experiences and explorations shape how they develop cognitive skills (including critical thinking and decision making), as well as social and emotional skills (including moral reasoning).</p> <p>Adolescence also lasts longer than we tend to think. Important brain development begins during late childhood, around eight to nine years. Intense changes then follow during early adolescence (ages ten to 14). But these changes continue well into the twenties, and full cognitive and emotional maturity is not usually reached until around age 24.</p> <p>However, everyone’s brain matures at a different rate. That means there is no definitive age we can say humans reach “adult” levels of cognitive maturity. What we do know is the period of early adolescence is critical.</p> <h2>What does puberty do to the brain?</h2> <p>Puberty is a defining feature of early adolescence. Most of us are familiar with the changes that occur to the body and reproductive systems. But the increase in puberty hormones, such as testosterone and oestrogen, also trigger changes to the brain. These hormones <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0306453017313252?via%3Dihub">increase most sharply</a> between ten and 15 years of age, although gradual changes continue into the early twenties.</p> <p>Puberty hormones change the structures in the brain which process emotions, including the amygdala (which encodes fear and stress) and ventral striatum (involved in reward and motivation).</p> <p>This makes adolescents particularly reactive to emotional rewards and threats. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cortex.2019.04.024">Our research</a> has shown the brain’s sensitivity to emotions increases throughout early adolescence until around 14 or 15 years old.</p> <p>At the same time, changes in puberty have <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/pspp0000172">been linked</a> to increased sensation seeking and impulsive behaviours during early adolescence.</p> <p>This context is crucial when we discuss the behaviour of children in the ten to 14 age range. The way their brains change during this period makes them more sensitive and responsive to emotions, and more likely to be seeking experiences that are new and intense.</p> <h2>How do adolescents make decisions?</h2> <p>The emotional context of puberty influences how younger adolescents make decisions and understand their consequences.</p> <p>Decision making relies on several basic cognitive functions, including the brain’s flexibility, memory and ability to control impulses.</p> <p>These cognitive abilities – which together help us consider the consequences of our actions – undergo some of the <a href="https://doi.org/10.1523/JNEUROSCI.1741-13.2013">steepest development</a> between ages ten and 14. By age 15, the ability to make complex decisions has usually <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/lhb0000315">reached adult maturity</a>.</p> <p>But adolescents at this age remain highly susceptible to emotions. So while their brain may be equipped to make a complex decision, their ability to think through the consequences, weighing up costs and benefits, can be clouded by emotional situations.</p> <p>For example, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/cdev.12085">research has shown</a> 13-14 year-olds were more distracted from completing a task and less able to control their behaviour when they viewed images that made them feel negative emotions.</p> <p>The social world of teenagers also has a significant impact on how they make decisions – especially in early adolescence. One study found that while older adolescents (aged 15-18) are more influenced by what adults think when weighing up risk, adolescents aged 12-14 <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0956797615569578">look to other teenagers</a>.</p> <p>Experiments <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0272431616648453">have also shown</a> adolescents aged 12-15 make riskier decisions when they are with peers than by themselves. Their brain responses also suggest they experience a greater sense of reward in taking those risks <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/scan/nsy071">with peers</a>.</p> <h2>How do teens understand the consequences of their actions?</h2> <p>The concept of <a href="https://www.aph.gov.au/About_Parliament/Parliamentary_Departments/Parliamentary_Library/pubs/rp/rp2122/Quick_Guides/MinimumAgeCriminalResponsibility">criminal responsibility</a> is based on whether a person is able to understand their action and know whether it is wrong.</p> <p>Moral reasoning – how people think about right and wrong – depends on the ability to understand another person’s mental state and adopt their perspective. These skills are in development <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsych.2020.09.012">across adolescence</a>.</p> <p>Research suggests it may take more effort for adolescent brains to process <a href="https://doi.org/10.1162/jocn.2009.21121">“social” emotions</a> such as guilt and embarrassment, compared to adults. This is similar when they make <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/17470919.2014.933714">moral judgements</a>. This evidence suggests teenage brains may have to work harder when considering other people’s intentions and desires.</p> <p>Young adolescents have the cognitive ability to appreciate they made a bad decision, but it is more mentally demanding. And social rewards, emotions and the chance to experience something new all have a strong bearing on their decisions and actions in the moment — possibly more than whether it is right or wrong.</p> <h2>Early adolescence is critical for the brain</h2> <p>There are also a number of reasons adolescent brains may develop differently. This includes various forms of neurodisability such as acquired brain injury, fetal alcohol spectrum disorder, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and intellectual disability, as well as exposure to trauma.</p> <p>Teenagers with neurodevelopmental disorders will likely cope differently with decision making, social pressure, impulse control and risk assessment, and face <a href="https://www.mcri.edu.au/images/research/strategic-collaborations/Flagships/Neurodevelopment/Neurodevelopment_Flagship_Brochure.pdf">extra difficulties</a>. Across the world, they are <a href="https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpub/article/PIIS2468-2667(19)30217-8/fulltext">disproportionately incarcerated</a>.</p> <p>In Australia, Indigenous children and adolescents are incarcerated <a href="https://www.indigenoushpf.gov.au/measures/2-11-contact-with-the-criminal-justice-system#:%7E:text=On%20an%20average%20day%20in%202021%E2%80%9322%2C%20there%20were%3A,AIHW%202023d%3A%20Table%20S76a">in greater numbers</a> than their non-Indigenous peers.</p> <p>Each child matures differently, and some face extra challenges. But for every person, the period between ten and 14 is critical for developing the cognitive, social and emotional skills they’ll carry through the rest of their life.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/237552/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/susan-m-sawyer-109573">Susan M. Sawyer</a>, Professor of Adolescent Health The University of Melbourne; Director, Royal Children's Hospital Centre for Adolescent Health, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/nandi-vijayakumar-1644262">Nandi Vijayakumar</a>, Research Fellow, School of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/can-a-10-year-old-be-responsible-for-a-crime-heres-what-brain-science-tells-us-237552">original article</a>.</em></p>

Mind

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Popular names Generation Alpha believe are “for old people”

<p>Today's youth have a very different idea of what constitutes an "old person" name, and one mum was left flabbergasted after a conversation she had with her six-year-old daughter about her classmates’ names.</p> <p>“You know what I find wild? I have an eight-year-old and a six-year-old, and the names of their friends, I can’t even pronounce some of them,” Australian entrepreneur and mum-of-two Steph Pase said in a now viral TikTok. </p> <p>“I asked her, so do you have anyone in your year called Sarah, Alex, Jack or Daniel?</p> <p>“She laughed and said ‘they’re old people names!’.”</p> <p>She then probed her daughter with a few other common names saying: “I asked, what about Steph … Michelle … she’s like no,” she laughed.</p> <p>“It just makes me realise, that we are that generation … our parents’ generation. Names like Helen, Karen or Joanna … now we’re that generation.</p> <p>“We have the old people names.”</p> <p>She captioned her video with the text "Millennial names are officially old" and many of her followers agreed with the upsetting revelation. </p> <p>“In my classes we have Vision, Stoney, Diesel, Hennesy, Blaze, Cruze, Kingdom, Ace, Boss, Oasis, Mercedes, Destiny,” one shared.</p> <p>“Luna, Harper &amp; Arlo are the new Ashley, Jessica &amp; Stephanie,” another said.</p> <p>“The names in my kids classes are Lamb, Honey, Hazard, Blu, Bambi,” another added. </p> <p>“My six year old has a girl in his class named ‘Summah’ and another called ‘Phox’ because Fox was too mainstream,” a fourth wrote. </p> <p>“My daughter has a Moses, Twayla, Lorde it’s wild …” a fifth commented. </p> <p>Baby name expert and CEO of Fifth Dimension Consulting Lyndall Spooner told <em>news.com.au</em> that there are a few reasons why there's been a shift in children's names over the years, including popularity, less pressure to follow traditional family names, and a trend towards more gender-neutral names. </p> <p>“Parents want their children to be unique and so they use nouns or verbs as names, or character names from books, TV shows, movies, shopping chains or cars," she said. </p> <p>And while the "millennial names" are not as common, "they are not extinct". </p> <p>“We will continue to see changes in baby names and the ‘recycling’ of older names that become popular again,” she told the publication. </p> <p><em>Images: TikTok</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Boy accidentally smashes 3500-year old artefact

<p>A 3500-year old jar has been smashed to pieces after a four-year-old boy accidentally knocked it over during a trip to a museum in Israel. </p> <p>The Hecht Museum in Haifa told the BBC that the artefact dates back to the Bronze Age between 2200 and 1500BC - and was considered a rare find because it was so intact.</p> <p>It had been on display near the entrance of the museum without any protective glass around it, as the museum believes there is a  “special charm” in showcasing archaeological finds “without obstructions”.</p> <p>The boy's father, Alex, told the publication that his son had only "pulled the jar slightly" because he was "curious about what was inside", causing it to fall.</p> <p>He also said that he was "in shock" to see his son next to the ruined artefact and initially thought "it wasn't my child that did it".</p> <p>After calming his child down, he spoke to a security guard who confirmed what happened. </p> <p>The museum stated they would not be charging the family and they've even invited the child back to the exhibition for an organised tour after the incident occurred a few days ago. </p> <p>“There are instances where display items are intentionally damaged, and such cases are treated with great severity, including involving the police,” Lihi Laszlo from The Hecht Museum told the <em>BBC</em>. </p> <p>“In this case, however, this was not the situation. The jar was accidentally damaged by a young child visiting the museum, and the response will be accordingly.”</p> <p>A conservation specialist has also been brought on board to restore the jar, which will be returned to the museum "in a short time".</p> <p>The boy's father said they will feel "relieved" to see the jar restored but added they are "sorry" because "it will no longer be the same item". </p> <p>“Despite the rare incident” the museum told the publication that they intend to continue displaying items without barriers or glass walls, where possible. </p> <p>The ancient jar was likely originally used to carry local supplies like wine and olive oil and predates the time of the Biblical King David and King Solomon and is distinctive of the Canaan region on the eastern Mediterranean coast.</p> <p><em>Images: Hecht Museum</em></p> <p> </p>

Travel Trouble

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Men have a biological clock too. Here’s what’s more likely when dads are over 50

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/karin-hammarberg-113096">Karin Hammarberg</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/monash-university-1065">Monash University</a></em></p> <p>We hear a lot about women’s biological clock and how age affects the chance of pregnancy.</p> <p><a href="https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2821811#google_vignette">New research shows</a> men’s fertility is also affected by age. When dads are over 50, the risk of pregnancy complications increases.</p> <p>Data from more than 46 million births in the <a href="https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2821811#google_vignette">United States</a> between 2011 and 2022 compared fathers in their 30s with fathers in their 50s.</p> <p>While taking into account the age of the mother and other factors known to affect pregnancy outcomes, the researchers found every ten-year increase in paternal age was linked to more complications.</p> <p>The researchers found that compared to couples where the father was aged 30–39, for couples where the dad was in his 50s, there was a:</p> <ul> <li>16% increased risk of preterm birth</li> <li>14% increased risk of low birth weight</li> <li>13% increase in gestational diabetes.</li> </ul> <p>The older fathers were also twice as likely to have used assisted reproductive technology, including IVF, to conceive than their younger counterparts.</p> <h2>Dads are getting older</h2> <p>In this <a href="https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2821811#google_vignette">US study</a>, the mean age of all fathers increased from 30.8 years in 2011 to 32.1 years in 2022.</p> <p>In that same period, the proportion of men aged 50 years or older fathering a child increased from 1.1% to 1.3%.</p> <p>We don’t know the proportion of men over 50 years who father children in Australia, but data shows the average age of fathers has increased.</p> <p>In 1975 the <a href="https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/population/births-australia/latest-release">median age of Australian dads</a> was 28.6 years. This jumped to 33.7 years in 2022.</p> <h2>How male age affects getting pregnant</h2> <p>As we know from <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/celebrities-dads-first-time-over-age-50#when-he-was-54-simon-cowell-and-girlfriend-lauren-silverman-became-parents-to-their-son-eric-7">media reports</a> of celebrity dads, men produce sperm from puberty throughout life and can father children well into old age.</p> <p>However, there is a noticeable decline in <a href="https://www.fertstert.org/article/S0015-0282(18)30269-3/fulltext">sperm quality</a> from about age 40.</p> <p>Female partners of older men take longer to achieve pregnancy than those with younger partners.</p> <p>A study of the effect of male age on <a href="https://www.fertstert.org/article/S0015-0282(03)00366-2/fulltext">time to pregnancy</a> showed women with male partners aged 45 or older were almost five times more likely to take more than a year to conceive compared to those with partners aged 25 or under. More than three quarters (76.8%) of men under the age of 25 years impregnated their female partners within six months, compared with just over half (52.9%) of men over the age of 45.</p> <p>Pooled data from ten studies showed that partners of older men are also more likely to experience miscarriage. Compared to couples where the male was aged 25 to 29 years, <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32358607/">paternal age over 45 years</a> increased the risk of miscarriage by 43%.</p> <h2>Older men are more likely to need IVF</h2> <p>Outcomes of assisted reproductive technology, such as IVF, are also influenced by the age of the male partner.</p> <p>A <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.rbmo.2022.03.031">review of studies</a> in couples using assisted reproductive technologies found paternal age under 40 years reduced the risk of miscarriage by about 25% compared to couples with men aged over 40.</p> <p>Having a male under 40 years also almost doubled the chance of a live birth per treatment cycle. With a man over 40, 17.6% of treatment rounds resulted in a live birth, compared to 28.4% when the male was under 40.</p> <h2>How does male age affect the health outcomes of children?</h2> <p>As a result of age-related changes in sperm DNA, the children of older fathers have increased risk of <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9957550/">a number of conditions</a>. Autism, schizophrenia, bipolar disorders and leukaemia have been linked to the father’s advanced years.</p> <p>A <a href="https://www.fertstert.org/article/S0015-0282(22)01979-3/fulltext">review of studies</a> assessing the impact of advanced paternal age reported that children of older fathers have increased rates of psychiatric disease and behavioural impairments.</p> <p>But while the increased risk of adverse health outcomes linked to older paternal age is real, the magnitude of <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29471389/">the effect is modest</a>. It’s important to remember that an increase in a very small risk is still a small risk and most children of older fathers are born healthy and develop well.</p> <h2>Improving your health can improve your fertility</h2> <p>In addition to the effects of older age, some chronic conditions that affect fertility and reproductive outcomes become more common as men get older. They include <a href="https://www.fertstert.org/article/S0015-0282(23)01935-0/fulltext">obesity and diabetes</a> which affect sperm quality by lowering testosterone levels.</p> <p>While we can’t change our age, some lifestyle factors that increase the risk of pregnancy complications and reduce fertility, can be tackled. They include:</p> <ul> <li><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4639396/">smoking</a></li> <li>recreational <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1002/tre.414">drug taking</a></li> <li><a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1002/tre.414">anabolic steroid</a> use</li> <li>heavy <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5504800/">alcohol consumption</a>.</li> </ul> <h2>Get the facts about the male biological clock</h2> <p>Research shows <a href="https://academic.oup.com/humupd/article/23/4/458/3065332?login=false">men want children</a> as much as women do. And most men want at least two children.</p> <p>Yet most men <a href="https://academic.oup.com/humupd/article/23/4/458/3065332?login=false">lack knowledge</a> about the limitations of female and male fertility and overestimate the chance of getting pregnant, with and without assisted reproductive technologies.</p> <p>We need better public education, starting at school, to improve awareness of the impact of male and female age on reproductive outcomes and help people have healthy babies.</p> <p>For men wanting to improve their chance of conceiving, the government-funded sites <a href="https://healthymale.org.au/">Healthy Male</a> and <a href="https://www.yourfertility.org.au/">Your Fertility</a> are a good place to start. These offer evidence-based and accessible information about reproductive health, and <a href="https://www.yourfertility.org.au/fertility-week-2022">tips</a> to improve your reproductive health and give your children the best start in life.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/236892/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/karin-hammarberg-113096">Karin Hammarberg</a>, Senior Research Fellow, Global and Women's Health, School of Public Health &amp; Preventive Medicine, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/monash-university-1065">Monash University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/men-have-a-biological-clock-too-heres-whats-more-likely-when-dads-are-over-50-236892">original article</a>.</em></p>

Body

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99-year-old woman declared accessory to over 10,000 murders

<p>A court in Germany has upheld the conviction of a 99-year-old woman who, during the Second World War, was the secretary to the SS commander at a Nazi concentration camp. </p> <p>The Federal Justice Court on Tuesday rejected the appeal of Irmgard Furchner, who was convicted of being an accessory to more than 10,000 murders and was given a two-year suspended sentence in December 2022. </p> <p>Furchner was accused of being a key part of the apparatus that helped the camp near Danzig, now the Polish city of Gdansk, function, and was subsequently convicted of being an accessory to murder in 10,505 cases and an accessory to attempted murder in five cases.</p> <p>At a federal court hearing in Leipzig in July, Furchner's lawyers cast doubt on whether she really was an accessory to crimes committed by the commander and other senior camp officials between 1943 and 1945, and on whether she had truly been aware of what was going on at Stutthof.</p> <p>The court said that judges were convinced that Furchner “knew and, through her work as a stenographer in the commandant’s office of the Stutthof concentration camp from June 1st 1943, to April 1st 1945, deliberately supported the fact that 10,505 prisoners were cruelly killed by gassings, by hostile conditions in the camp,” by transportation to the Auschwitz death camp and by being sent on death marches at the end of the war.</p> <p>Germany's main Jewish leader welcomed the ruling. “For Holocaust survivors, it is enormously important for a late form of justice to be attempted,” Josef Schuster, the head of the Central Council of Jews, said in statement.</p> <p>“The legal system sent an important message today: even nearly 80 years after the Holocaust, no line can be drawn under Nazi crimes,” he added.</p> <p>During the original court proceedings, prosecutors said that Furchner’s trial may be the last of its kind, however, a special federal prosecutors’ office in Ludwigsburg tasked with investigating Nazi-era war crimes says three more cases are pending with prosecutors or courts in various parts of Germany. </p> <p>With any suspects now at a very advanced age, questions increasingly arise over suspects’ fitness to stand trial.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Sky News</em></p>

Legal

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It’s hard to reach out to old friends, but doing so may help alleviate loneliness

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lara-b-aknin-1365501">Lara B Aknin</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/simon-fraser-university-1282">Simon Fraser University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/gillian-sandstrom-1283157">Gillian Sandstrom</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sussex-1218">University of Sussex</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kristina-castaneto-1548733">Kristina Castaneto</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/simon-fraser-university-1282">Simon Fraser University</a></em></p> <p>Millions of <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/t1/tbl1/en/tv.action?pid=4510004801">Canadians are lonely</a>. This is worrisome because loneliness, defined by the World Health Organization as “<a href="https://www.who.int/news/item/15-11-2023-who-launches-commission-to-foster-social-connection">the social pain of not feeling connected</a>,” predicts both lower mental and physical health. Research shows that lacking a sense of social connection can pose an <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691614568352">equivalent health risk to smoking 15 cigarettes per day</a>.</p> <p>To combat loneliness, people are commonly advised to seek out social connection. For many, this guidance brings to mind spending time with loved ones, such as close friends, family and romantic partners. But are there other people we can reach out to?</p> <p>In our research, recently published in <em>Communications Psychology</em>, we examined whether people have “old friends” — individuals that they care about but with whom they have lost touch — and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1038/s44271-024-00075-8">how easily these relationships can be rekindled</a>.</p> <p>We found that certain strategies can help people reconnect — and, in new research, we are getting a sense that certain values and personality traits may make it easier for people to stay in touch far into the future.</p> <h2>Reconnecting with old friends</h2> <p>Across a series of seven studies, we found the majority of people reported having an old friend. Yet, when we asked over 400 participants how willing they would be to reach out to an old friend right now, most said they were neutral or unwilling. In fact, in one study, people reported being no more willing to reach out to an old friend than they were to talk to a stranger or pick up trash.</p> <p>This reluctance was observable in behaviour too. We conducted two experiments in which more than 1,000 people were given several minutes to draft and send a message to an old friend. Only 30 per cent sent the message to their old friend.</p> <p>Given that reaching out to an old friend could boost <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/nextavenue/2018/08/19/the-power-and-joy-of-reconnecting-with-old-friends/">feelings of social connection and happiness</a>, we tried designing interventions to encourage reaching out. For instance, we reminded participants that reaching out to an old friend was an act of kindness and that the recipient would appreciate it more than they realize. We also tried telling participants not to overthink it — to just send their message. Unfortunately, neither prompt was effective at encouraging more people to reach out.</p> <h2>Reluctance to reconnect</h2> <p>Why are people reluctant to reach out to old friends? There may be a number of reasons, including the possibility that old friends feel like strangers after time has passed. In one study with over 500 participants we asked people to list between three to five old friends, and tell us how close each one felt to them right now. The more unfamiliar an old friend felt, the less willing people were to reach out.</p> <p>Research has found that when people <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2022.104356">practise talking to strangers for a week</a>, they become less anxious about it. If old friends can feel like strangers, might a similar strategy encourage people to reach out to old friends?</p> <p>To find out, we conducted an experiment in which we randomly assigned some people to complete a three-minute warm-up activity in which they messaged current family or friends. Other participants were randomly assigned to a control condition in which they simply browsed social media for three minutes instead.</p> <p>Afterward, all participants were given an opportunity to write and send a message to an old friend. While only 30 per cent of participants sent their message in the control condition, over 50 per cent did so after warming-up, suggesting that practising the behaviour that underlies reaching out may make this act easier.</p> <h2>Personality traits</h2> <p>We are extending this research in a number of new directions. For instance, in some newly conducted and unpublished research, we are examining whether people with certain personality traits or beliefs are more likely to send a message to an old friend.</p> <p>Responses from over 300 people suggest that people who are open to new experiences — <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/basics/big-5-personality-traits">one of the five key personality traits studied by psychologists</a> — say they are willing to reach out to an old friend. Despite this inclination, our research found that highly open people do not necessarily communicate with old friends when given the chance.</p> <p>On the other hand, people’s values and beliefs may be important determinants of whether they stay in touch. Our preliminary work shows that people who see friendship as a bond that does not easily break may be more likely to reach out than others.</p> <p>We hope this work helps normalize the fact that friendships can fade and be hard to rekindle. That said, with some practice, people can overcome this reluctance and hit “send” to potentially open a path to connection and less loneliness.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/234895/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lara-b-aknin-1365501">Lara B Aknin</a>, Distinguished Professor of Social Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/simon-fraser-university-1282">Simon Fraser University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/gillian-sandstrom-1283157">Gillian Sandstrom</a>, Senior Lecturer, School of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sussex-1218">University of Sussex</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kristina-castaneto-1548733">Kristina Castaneto</a>, Master's Student, Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/simon-fraser-university-1282">Simon Fraser University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/its-hard-to-reach-out-to-old-friends-but-doing-so-may-help-alleviate-loneliness-234895">original article</a>.</em></p>

Relationships

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Woman “bullied” on plane over budget seating trick

<p dir="ltr">A young woman has recalled a flight from hell when she was “bullied” by a couple who were trying to utilise a seating hack that went viral on TikTok. </p> <p dir="ltr">The solo traveller took to Reddit to recount the story and ask social media users if she was in the wrong for her action. </p> <p dir="ltr">The woman began by saying she usually pays more to select her plane seat ahead of time, but a medical emergency on another plane had her waiting on standby and left with no option other than to sit in a middle seat.</p> <p dir="ltr">When she was finally able to board, she was greeted by a couple who had purchased both the window and aisle seats in a bid to have more space, utilising a travel “trick” that has been popular on TikTok.</p> <p dir="ltr">The method, which has been dubbed the 'poor man's business class', usually leaves travellers with an empty middle seat and more space, and few travellers opt to pick a middle seat. </p> <p dir="ltr">“When I got to my row the man and woman were chatting and sharing a snack... it was obvious they were together. I mentioned to the man that I'm in the middle, and he got up to let me in,” the unsuspecting traveller wrote on Reddit.  </p> <p dir="ltr">“I asked them if they would prefer to sit together, I said I was totally okay with that. The woman reacted rudely to this and said ‘you're not supposed to be sitting here anyway’.”</p> <p dir="ltr">After noticing how the plane was full, she offered to show the pair her new ticket with the correct seat number on it.</p> <p dir="ltr">“She flicked her hand at my ticket and made a disgusted sound. I offered again if they wanted to sit together to which she didn't reply, her partner said it's okay and... made some small talk,” she continued. </p> <p dir="ltr">The man’s girlfriend then interrupted their conversation to ask,”'Did you use one of those third party websites to book your flight? It's so frustrating when people cheap out to inconvenience others.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The American woman explained that she had booked her flight directly and she had been placed on standby like everyone else and didn't choose the middle seat - she was assigned it.</p> <p dir="ltr">She then tried to keep the peace by refusing to engage with the furious woman.  </p> <p dir="ltr">“I was so done with her attitude, I put my headphones on and attempted to do my own thing,” she explained.</p> <p dir="ltr">But the “entitled” girlfriend wasn't letting it go, as the woman explained, “This woman kept reaching over me and tapping her partner and trying to talk to him in a way that was super intrusive.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“I could tell even her partner was trying to engage her less so that she would hopefully stop, but she didn't.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“I think they tried to pull that tactic where they don't sit together on purpose...hoping no one will sit between them. But on full flights it doesn't work. And even so - it's not the other person's fault.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The traveller's post was met with hundreds of comments slamming the girlfriend’s behaviour, as one person wrote, “It's like a toddler having a tantrum.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“She was disappointed and a total a**hole. Gross entitled people,” another added. </p> <p dir="ltr">Another person applauded the traveller’s level-headed behaviour, writing, “Wow! You are my hero for keeping it classy - I’m afraid I would not have been as kind as you.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Travel Trouble

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Man arrested for climbing Eiffel Tower before closing ceremony

<p>A British man has been arrested after climbing the Eiffel Tower just hours before the closing ceremony of the Paris Olympics was due to commence. </p> <p>Shocked onlookers were horrified when they spotted the shirtless man scaling the 330m structure with no harness, as he stood on top of the blue Olympic ring before continuing his dangerous ascent.</p> <p>Incredible footage of the dangerous stunt, which was posted to X, shows him reaching halfway up the giant landmark with just a bag of chalk to help him, as he was not supported by any ropes or harnesses. </p> <p>Other videos shows the free climber being taken away in handcuffs by French police as tourists looked on from the viewing platform.</p> <p>The Paris Prosecutor’s office confirmed to <em>The Sun</em> the man was British and has been charged with endangering others and intrusion into a historic or cultural site.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">someone was trying to climb up Eiffel Tower after the Olympics, he was detained by police shortly after 💀<a href="https://t.co/m1oRWsKYeX">pic.twitter.com/m1oRWsKYeX</a></p> <p>— ryan 🤿 (@scubaryan_) <a href="https://twitter.com/scubaryan_/status/1822685874691444924?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 11, 2024</a></p></blockquote> <p>A Paris police spokesman said: “At 2.45pm, an individual was seen climbing the Eiffel Tower. The police immediately intervened and arrested the individual.”</p> <p>According to spectators, the man could be heard saying “bloody warm, innit” as he was led away by police. </p> <p>Security officials quickly cordoned off the Eiffel Tower as they evacuated the site at around 3pm, as those inside were briefly locked up on the second floor, before they were allowed to leave around 30 minutes later once the man had been escorted from the area.</p> <p>Specialist climbing police were sent up the tower after it was cleared to check for any suspicious or unusual activity.</p> <p>Tourists queuing up for the landmark were left unaware of the ongoing situation and were left frustrated after they were told to leave.</p> <p>One social media user posted on X: “Just waited in line for so long to go to the top of the Eiffel Tower but someone is trying to climb it so they just shut the whole thing down. Super.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: X (Twitter)</em></p>

Legal

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Man behind viral "democracy manifest" arrest dies

<p>Jack Karlson, the man behind one of Australia's most famous viral memes, has died aged 82. </p> <p>Karlson shot to fame after footage of his 1991 arrest outside the China Sea Restaurant in Brisbane went viral in 2009 when someone uploaded it to the internet. </p> <p>"Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest," he said during the arrest. </p> <p>"What is the charge? Eating a meal - a succulent Chinese meal?"</p> <p>"Have a look at the headlock here. See that chap over there?" he went on.</p> <p>"Get your hand off my penis! This is the bloke who got me on the penis before."</p> <p>Reports at the time suggested that Karlson had been arrested on suspicion of being criminal that was high on Queensland police's wanted list. </p> <p>While he did have a criminal history himself as he was known for several prison escapes throughout his life, he insisted that he was the wrong man. </p> <p>The reporter who reported Karlson's arrest 33 years ago, Chris Reason, confirmed Karlson's death in a social media post on X, tweeting that "Mr Democracy Manifest has died".</p> <p>A fundraiser had been set up for Karlson by his niece in June after he was reportedly diagnosed with prostate cancer and needed surgery for cataracts. </p> <p>“I know Jack’s video has given a lot of people joy and he has inspired many memes, t-shirts and other things over the years but Jack himself is doing it quite tough,” his niece wrote on the fundraiser at the time. </p> <p>“He has never had much money but has always been generous to family and friends. He lives week to week in regional QLD with the help of a voluntary carer.</p> <p>“Hoping people can dig deep – I think he’s worth at least a beer, maybe even a 6-pack.”</p> <p>In an update last week, his niece said that he wasn't doing well. </p> <p>“He has been in Hospital for two weeks now,” she wrote.</p> <p>“He has had multiple procedures but things are not looking good.</p> <p>“One thing that did lift his spirits was that the GoFundMe was taking off. He has been really appreciative of the donations and the comments.”</p> <p>A documentary about his life is currently in production and set to be released in early 2025. </p> <p><em>Images: 7News</em></p>

Caring

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Cause of death revealed after eight-year-old dies mid-flight

<p>The cause of death of an eight-year-old girl who died suddenly mid-flight has been revealed. </p> <p>Sydney Weston was travelling with her family from their home state of Missouri to Chicago on June 13th when she suddenly fell ill on the flight and died. </p> <p>Now, according to Peoria County Coroner Jamie Harwood, Sydney was suffering from at least five different illnesses at the time of her death. </p> <p>The eight-year-old reportedly died from complications of chronic primary adrenalitis coupled with several infections, including enterovirus and strep, as well as inflammation of the small intestines known as duodenitis and the thyroid gland inflammation commonly known as thyroiditis. </p> <p>Harwood found that the long list of conditions suggests Sydney may have suffered from an autoimmune disorder which left her body attacking its own healthy cells and harming organ operation. </p> <p>Sydney suffered a medical emergency onboard the flight, causing the plane to divert to Peoria, Illinois, for an emergency landing, but Sydney died after being rushed to a nearby hospital.</p> <p>Results from a previously released preliminary autopsy were inconclusive but found that her body showed no signs of abuse, neglect or foul play.</p> <p>At the time of her sudden and tragic death, Sydney was just a week away from celebrating her ninth birthday.</p> <p>“She will forever be remembered for the happiness she brought to every single person she encountered. Our hearts are heavy. She was our baby girl and we celebrate her beautiful life,” her obituary read.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Instagram </em></p>

Caring

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65-year-old woman transforms life after divorce

<p>Harrah Brown was left “alone, devastated and scared for the first time in my life” at age 60, and had spend her days crying and wishing that her ex would come back. </p> <p>It took her one nasty fall while walking her dog to turn her life around. </p> <p>"I heard a tiny voice tell me to ‘get your life together and stop wasting away’” she said on social media. </p> <p>The now 65-year-old fitness fanatic said that she feels better than ever after she began weight training in her sixties, in the midst of the heartbreak. </p> <p>“Once I accepted I was on my own at age 60, I picked myself up and rebuilt my life from the inside out,” she said in one video. </p> <p>The mother-of-four began her fitness journey in 2019. </p> <p>“In August 2019, I borrowed 5k to move into my one bedroom apartment. I had nothing more than my clothes, my Great Dane, and a few personal belongings,” she wrote on Instagram. </p> <p>“I had my bed, a borrowed chair and desk and ate at my desk for well over a year.</p> <p>“It was the hardest time of my life. I honestly wasn’t sure how or if I would survive.”</p> <p>After her nasty fall, she began her transformation journey and started "listening to great motivational speakers on mindset and I read inspiring books on transformation, and I journaled." </p> <p>“Day by day, my mindset became stronger. The will to turn my setback into my comeback became a powerful force within me.</p> <p>“In September 2020 at age 61 I started lifting weights in my apartment gym, where I still workout today.”</p> <p>And the rest is history. </p> <p>Brown has amassed over 192k followers on Instagram and TikTok, sharing an array of positive messages and clips of her working doing workouts that others her age may consider almost impossible, including heavy barbell squats and pull ups. </p> <p>“Lifting weights renewed my strength, my spirit, and my confidence,” she said in one video. </p> <p>Her followers have praised her for being an inspiration. </p> <p>“You go girl!!! The 60s are a great place to be,” one said.</p> <p>“You make me excited to age!! You’re radiant and so inspiring, keep shining babe,” shared another.</p> <p>“Weight training made me feel like a badass, it’s amazing for mood boosting too," a third added. </p> <p>Since embarking on her new lifestyle, Brown has become an "empowerment coach", where she helps others “be healthy, fit and beautiful at any age”.</p> <p><em>Images: Instagram </em></p> <p> </p>

Beauty & Style

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Six-year-old denied passport over trademarked name

<p>A mother from the UK has been left "absolutely devastated" after her six-year-old daughter's passport application was denied because she is named after a famous character in the fantasy series Game of Thrones. </p> <p>Lucy, a 39-year-old mum from South West England, told the <em><a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c4ng1xd06xwo" target="_blank" rel="noopener">BBC</a></em> that things went downhill when she started planning their “dream” trip to Disneyland Paris as a family and needed to get her daughter a passport. </p> <p>She said that the initial application to get her daughter, Khaleesi, 6, was unable to be processed, with officials telling her she needed approval from Warner Brothers because they own the name’s trademark.</p> <p>“I was absolutely devastated, we were so looking forward to our first holiday together,” Lucy said.</p> <p>“I had a letter come through from the Passport Office, saying her name is trademarked by Warner Brothers,” she said. </p> <p>“It was the first I’ve heard of such a thing — I was astonished.”</p> <p>After receiving legal advice, the mum learned her daughter was legally allowed to use that name, and forwarded that information along to the Passport Office.</p> <p>“I didn’t understand and felt frustrated. If she could get a birth certificate, would something not have been flagged up then?” she said.</p> <p>“I never thought you could trademark a name,” she added.</p> <p>The Passport Office reportedly later called Lucy to apologise for the error and said they would continue with the process of little Khaleesi's passport. </p> <p>Lucy said she believes the problem was only solved because she complained on social media.</p> <p>“If I hadn’t posted this on social media, nothing would have been done. I would have been stuck, not knowing what to do,” she said, adding that others had reached out saying they’d experienced something similar.</p> <p>Lucy now said she is waiting until her daughter’s passport arrives before booking a new trip to Disneyland Paris.</p> <p>“I am hoping the passport will be issued soon and was promised that they would call back in a few days to see if it had progressed,” she told the <em>BBC</em>.</p> <p>She also hopes her story may help others stuck in a similar situation, saying,  “I think there might be other people in this situation, that they may have had their passports declined recently because of something like this. Hopefully, they now know it can be resolved."</p> <p><em>Image credits: HBO / BBC / Family Handout</em></p>

Legal