Thank you Pop for your weekly calls
<p><em><strong>Jaelea Skehan is the director of the Hunter Institute of Mental Health and a member of the Conversation Think Tank for R U OK? Day. To encourage others to reflect on the value of asking “Are you ok?” she’s shared a letter she wrote to her grandfather, Gerry.</strong></em> </p>
<p>Dear Pop,</p>
<p>I work in mental health and I know all too well how important connecting with those around you is, and the power of asking are you ok?</p>
<p>I want more and more Australians to have the confidence to ask each other are you ok? But the reality is, people don’t have to actually ask those exact words for a conversation to change a life. I learnt that from you.</p>
<p>I live a very busy life. I work long hours, I travel constantly and I am not the best at taking ‘me’ time. I am one of those people who often puts the needs of others before my own.</p>
<p>But once a week, I stop what I am doing to take a call from you.</p>
<p>Sometimes when you call on a Sunday I am feeling physically and psychologically empty after spending five very long days at work and eight hours at netball on a Saturday. If something bad happens during the week at work or in life, it will usually hit me on a Sunday.</p>
<p>But then something happens. You call me.</p>
<p>The phone calls are usually quite short and often a summary of where I have been that week, whether I won at netball, the status of your bad leg and other ailments and whether or not you had a win on the races.</p>
<p>But they are so more than that. They are regular. They show love. And they keep me connected to you and connected to life.</p>
<p>You don’t have to actually ask me whether I am okay, but I know that when you call every week, you care that I am. </p>
<p>We have history – you are the one who baked me scones every Saturday, the one who watched me every Friday night for the price of a block of chocolate and the one who still takes a 12 hour train trip to visit me at Christmas.</p>
<p>We don’t see eye to eye on current affairs, politics, or even religion any more. But in the era of text messages, Facebook, twitter and messenger, you are the one phone call I can expect every week. Not a work call, but a personal call. A call that is all about me, and just because.</p>
<p>I value those phone calls more than perhaps I have ever told you. Not for the specific words we say to each other, but because of the regular time we have together. For me, it is like someone holding a neon sign in front of me asking, "Are you ok?" once a week.</p>
<p>Some weeks I am not, and your call always makes a difference.</p>
<p>Thanks for asking.</p>
<p>Jaelea</p>
<p><em>R U OK? is a not-for-profit organisation that aims to inspire Australians connect and to have regular, meaningful conversations every day of the year to help anyone who might not be ok. Find out more information by visiting the</em> <strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="https://www.ruok.org.au/" target="_blank">website here.</a></span></strong></p>
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