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Your friend has been diagnosed with cancer. Here are 6 things you can do to support them

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/stephanie-cowdery-2217734">Stephanie Cowdery</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/anna-ugalde-2232654">Anna Ugalde</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/trish-livingston-163686">Trish Livingston</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/victoria-white-1888110">Victoria White</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a> Across the world, <a href="https://www.who.int/news/item/01-02-2024-global-cancer-burden-growing--amidst-mounting-need-for-services">one in five</a> people are diagnosed with cancer during their lifetime. By age 85, almost <a href="https://www.cancer.org.au/cancer-information/what-is-cancer/facts-and-figures">one in two</a> Australians will be diagnosed with cancer. When it happens to someone you care about, it can be hard to know what to say or how to help them. But providing the right support to a friend can make all the difference as they face the emotional and physical challenges of a new diagnosis and treatment. Here are six ways to offer meaningful support to a friend who has been diagnosed with cancer. <h2>1. Recognise and respond to emotions</h2> When facing a cancer diagnosis and treatment, it’s normal to experience a range of <a href="https://www.canceraustralia.gov.au/impacted-by-cancer/emotions#:%7E:text=It's%20likely%20that%20feelings%20will,these%20feelings%20ease%20with%20time">emotions</a> including fear, anger, grief and sadness. Your friend’s moods may fluctuate. It is also common for feelings to <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00520-014-2492-9">change over time</a>, for example your friend’s anxiety may decrease, but they may feel more depressed. Some friends may want to share details while others will prefer privacy. Always ask permission to raise sensitive topics (such as changes in physical appearance or their thoughts regarding fears and anxiety) and don’t make assumptions. It’s OK to tell them you feel awkward, as this acknowledges the challenging situation they are facing. When they feel comfortable to talk, follow their lead. Your support and willingness <a href="https://www.cancervic.org.au/get-support/stories/what-to-say-and-not-say.html">to listen without judgement</a> can provide great comfort. You don’t have to have the answers. Simply acknowledging what has been said, providing your full attention and being present for them will be a great help. <h2>2. Understand their diagnosis and treatment</h2> <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/pon.4722">Understanding</a> your friend’s diagnosis and what they’ll go through when being <a href="https://www.cancer.org/cancer/caregivers/what-a-caregiver-does/treatment-timeline.html">treated</a> may be helpful. Being informed can reduce your own worry. It may also help you to listen better and reduce the amount of explaining your friend has to do, especially when they’re tired or overwhelmed. Explore reputable sources such as the <a href="https://www.cancer.org.au/">Cancer Council website</a> for accurate information, so you can have meaningful conversations. But keep in mind your friend has a trusted medical team to offer personalised and accurate advice. <h2>3. Check in regularly</h2> Cancer treatment can be isolating, so regular check-ins, texts, calls or visits can help your friend feel less alone. Having a normal conversation and sharing a joke can be very welcome. But everyone copes with cancer differently. Be patient and flexible in your support – some days will be harder for them than others. Remembering key dates – such as the next round of chemotherapy – can help your friend feel supported. Celebrating milestones, including the end of treatment or anniversary dates, may boost morale and remind your friend of positive moments in their cancer journey. Always ask if it’s a good time to visit, as your friend’s immune system <a href="https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/what-is-cancer/body-systems-and-cancer/the-immune-system-and-cancer#:%7E:text=to%20fight%20cancer-,Cancer%20and%20treatments%20may%20weaken%20immunity,high%20dose%20of%20steroids">may be compromised</a> by their cancer or treatments such as chemotherapy or radiotherapy. If you’re feeling unwell, it’s best to postpone visits – but they may still appreciate a call or text. <h2>4. Offer practical support</h2> Sometimes the best way to show your care is through practical support. There may be different ways to offer help, and what your friend needs might change at the beginning, during and after treatment. For example, you could offer to pick up prescriptions, drive them to appointments so they have transport and company to debrief, or wait with them at appointments. Meals will always be welcome. However it’s important to remember cancer and its treatments may <a href="https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/treatment/side-effects/nutrition#effects-of-cancer-treatment-on-nutrition">affect</a> taste, smell and appetite, as well as your friend’s ability to eat enough or absorb nutrients. You may want to check first if there are particular foods they like. <a href="https://www.cancervic.org.au/downloads/resources/booklets/nutrition-cancer.pdf">Good nutrition</a> can help boost their strength while dealing with the side effects of treatment. There may also be family responsibilities you can help with, for example, babysitting kids, grocery shopping or taking care of pets. <h2>5. Explore supports together</h2> Studies <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35834503/">have shown</a> mindfulness practices can be an effective way for people to manage anxiety associated with a cancer diagnosis and its treatment. If this is something your friend is interested in, it may be enjoyable to explore classes (either online or in-person) together. You may also be able to help your friend connect with organisations that provide emotional and practical help, such as the Cancer Council’s <a href="https://www.cancer.org.au/support-and-services/cancer-council-13-11-20">support line</a>, which offers free, confidential information and support for anyone affected by cancer, including family, friends and carers. <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/5659099_Systematic_review_of_peer-support_programs_for_people_with_cancer">Peer support groups</a> can also reduce your friend’s feelings of isolation and foster shared understanding and empathy with people who’ve gone through a similar experience. GPs <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34333571/">can help</a> with referrals to support programs. <h2>6. Stick with them</h2> Be committed. Many people feel <a href="https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11120751/">isolated</a> after their treatment. This may be because regular appointments have reduced or stopped – which can feel like losing a safety net – or because their relationships with others have changed. Your friend may also experience emotions such as worry, lack of confidence and uncertainty as they adjust to a <a href="https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/coping/survivorship/new-normal">new way of living</a> after their treatment has ended. This will be an important time to support your friend. But don’t forget: looking after <a href="https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/caring-for-someone-with-cancer">yourself</a> is important too. Making sure you eat well, sleep, exercise and have emotional support will help steady you through what may be a challenging time for you, as well as the friend you love. <a href="https://www.deakin.edu.au/faculty-of-health/research/cancer-carer-hub">Our research</a> team is developing new programs and resources to support carers of people who live with cancer. While it can be a challenging experience, it can also be immensely rewarding, and your small acts of kindness can make a big difference.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/239844/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/stephanie-cowdery-2217734">Stephanie Cowdery</a>, Research Fellow, Carer Hub: A Centre of Excellence in Cancer Carer Research, Translation and Impact, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/anna-ugalde-2232654">Anna Ugalde</a>, Associate Professor & Victorian Cancer Agency Fellow, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/trish-livingston-163686">Trish Livingston</a>, Distinguished Professor & Director of Special Projects, Faculty of Health, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/victoria-white-1888110">Victoria White</a>, Professor of Pyscho-Oncology, School of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/your-friend-has-been-diagnosed-with-cancer-here-are-6-things-you-can-do-to-support-them-239844">original article</a>.

Caring

Six old-school strategies to cope with disruptive airport tech

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/christopher-schaberg-1451119">Christopher Schaberg</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/arts-and-sciences-at-washington-university-in-st-louis-5659">Arts & Sciences at Washington University in St. Louis</a> Ten years ago I wrote a book titled “<a href="https://www.bloomsbury.com/us/end-of-airports-9781501305498/">The End of Airports</a>” about how digital technologies and commercial air travel were on a collision course. Earlier this summer, I was proved right. In July, <a href="https://theconversation.com/massive-it-outage-spotlights-major-vulnerabilities-in-the-global-information-ecosystem-235155">a cybersecurity software outage</a> snarled airports around the world. Airlines took weeks to get back to normal. Delta was particularly <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2024/08/07/business/delta-passengers-sue-crowdstrike-meltdown/index.html">hard hit</a>, with some <a href="https://apnews.com/article/crowdstrike-technology-outage-fallout-delta-c287aaded657a1092724b222435c3d16">7,000 flights canceled</a> and delays lasting well into August. As an expert on air travel who contemplates flight from <a href="https://www.bloomsbury.com/us/textual-life-of-airports-9781441189684/">a humanistic and cultural studies perspective</a>, I think the new technologies woven into air-travel management are a double-edged sword. While they enhance elements of safety and efficiency, they can also make the entire system <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2024/07/crowdstrike-failure-warning-solutions/679174/">more fragile and vulnerable</a>. <h2>The downsides of digital technology</h2> To be fair, aviation depends on technology. Humans would never have gotten off the ground without it. But new technology can create new problems even as it solves old ones. The latest digital tech offers necessarily imperfect ways to manage a vast, intricate network of places, machines and people. And as the computer systems get more fine-tuned and integrated, they also can result in catastrophic failures, precisely because of the connective nature of tech. And let’s not even talk about <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-hot-weather-and-climate-change-affect-airline-flights-80795">the weather</a>. The past summer’s <a href="https://www.cbsnews.com/news/crowdstrike-outage-bug-bad-data-falcon-update-microsoft/">software glitch event</a> won’t be the last time some unforeseen variable brings air travel to a halt. Fortunately, travelers don’t have to depend solely on airport technology systems or our own smart devices for seamless travel. Here are six analog strategies that travelers can use to cope with air travel debacles: <h2>Old-school flying suggestions</h2> <ol> <li> Pack smart for potential delays. Make sure you have a carry-on that includes whatever you’d need for an unplanned overnight stay at a hotel – or worse, on an airport floor. Take <a href="https://www.tsa.gov/travel/security-screening/liquids-rule">Transportation Security Administration-approved toiletries</a> and enough clothes so you can deal with a layover somewhere you didn’t expect. And wear comfortable shoes. </li> <li> Be kind to airline employees and airport staff, who can’t control delays or cancellations. Remember that no one airline employee can automatically fix the problem when a software malfunction happens or a freak storm grounds planes. But if you are kind and patient, an airline employee may just comp you a hotel room or give you a more generous rebooking arrangement. Also: It’s just the humane thing to do. </li> <li> Purchase your tickets directly from airlines. It’s not worth saving $20 or $50 on a ticket deal from a third-party vendor. When delays and cancellations happen, if you have such a ticket, the airline will have less interest in aiding you. Buying tickets directly from the airline will help you get back in the air quicker. </li> <li> Have a plan B. In the event that your connecting flight is canceled mid-trip, have you contacted someone you know in that city? Or have you researched hotels easily accessible from the airport? What would it take to get a comfortable spot for a night? A little homework can go a long way if you end up stranded. </li> <li> Bring healthy snacks and other supplies. It’s smart to pack vitamins, zinc, hydration packets, a reusable water bottle, medications, hand sanitizer, or whatever helps bolster your health during a travel stint. If you get waylaid for a few hours or overnight, preplanning some self-care items can help you avoid contagious illnesses and general fatigue. </li> <li> Enjoy the airport. It’s a fascinating place where so many people converge. If you’re <a href="https://stuckattheairport.com">stuck at the airport</a> for several hours, use that time to find interesting things in the concourses. You might discover art shows, a great bookstore, a yoga room or a movie theater. It can be tempting to just stand around the gate area and seethe. But it’s more fun to move around the airport and explore what’s there.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/237372/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> </li> </ol> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/christopher-schaberg-1451119">Christopher Schaberg</a>, Director of Public Scholarship, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/arts-and-sciences-at-washington-university-in-st-louis-5659">Arts & Sciences at Washington University in St. Louis</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/if-new-technologies-snarl-your-airline-experience-here-are-old-school-strategies-to-cope-237372">original article</a>.

Travel Trouble

Billionaire tech tycoon and daughter missing after tornado strikes

Six people, including a billionaire tech tycoon and his daughter, have been declared missing off the coast of Sicily after a tornado struck the area, causing their luxury super yacht to capsize and sink. Four British are reportedly among six people missing at sea, including billionaire Mike Lynch and his 18-year-old daughter Hannah. At the time of the tragedy, 22 people were onboard and 15 were rescued by coastguard patrol boats and firefighters, including Mr Lynch’s wife Angela Bacares. The coast guard said that divers had been sent to inspect the wreck of the Bayesian, which was lying at a depth of 49 metres. Authorities confirmed that one body, believed to be that of the yacht's chef, has been found during their search of the vessel's hull. Charlotte Golunski, who was on board the vessel, told local news outlet La Repubblica newspaper of how she saved her daughter Sofia as the boat sank. She said, “I held her afloat with all my strength, my arms stretched upwards to keep her from drowning." “It was all dark. In the water I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I screamed for help but all I could hear around me was the screams of others.” Charlotte, her husband James and their daughter Sophia are among those onboard being treated at hospital. The captain of a nearby boat, Karsten Borner, said that when the storm hit he turned the engine on to keep control of the vessel and avoid a collision with the Bayesian. "We managed to keep the ship in position and after the storm was over, we noticed that the ship behind us was gone," he said, adding that the Bayesian "went flat on the water, and then down." Storms and heavy rainfall have swept down Italy in recent days after weeks of scorching heat, which had lifted the temperature of the Mediterranean sea to record levels, raising the risk of extreme weather conditions, experts said. Image credits: AFP/Alberto Lo Bianco/LaPresse/Shutterstock Editorial

Travel Trouble

REVIEW: Feel supported and comfortable through every stride with ASICS

Finding the right sports shoe can be a challenge, whether you’re an avid runner, Sunday afternoon walker, or just want the extra support when going from A to B. Then there’s the added difficulty of your foot shape, and finding what works best for you and your circumstances, and when there are so many sports shoes on the market, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. One of those many brands are ASICS, who are a much loved and trusted staple in the world of activewear for both your body and feet. In July, ASICS announced the launch of their new shoe the GEL-KAYANO 31: a classic shoe in the ASICS range with updated and advanced comfort and support to help you move easier. I was lucky enough to try out the GEL-KAYANO 31, and as one of the many people who have long struggled to find the right shoes for me, these shoes were one hell of a treat. While the GEL-KAYANO shoes are marketed as a “running shoe”, the only running I do is when I’m sprinting to the bus, so as a regular park walker, I put my new shoes to the test. From walking 20 minutes to the shops, to going for an hours-long stroll through the park these shoes did not let me down. The new technical engineered upper material (the bit of the shoe that hugs your ankle) sits a lot higher than other sports shoes, making this shoe so supportive, as you truly feel enclosed and in control. The PureGEL technology, which is designed to improve softness and shock absorption to reduce the impact on your joints and keep you moving comfortably, is second to none, after all my walks my feet felt comfortable, cool, and ready to walk even further. The GEL-KAYANO 31 also features FF BLAST PLUS ECO foam to deliver a softer landing through your movement and energised cushioning to keep you feeling comfortable on harder surfaces. And while I may not fall into the over sixty age as many of you reading this, my dodgy hip and knee would have me feeling very differently, and through my mild mobility issues, these shoes took the pressure off my joints and supported every step. ASICS have also updated the shoe’s outsole with a HYBRID ASICSGRIP rubber material, as the shoe helps provide better traction throughout your movement, to strengthen the shoe’s stability, helping you feel more comfortable for longer. And if that wasn’t enough, ASICS shoes are the only brand of sports footwear to be recommended by Sports Medicine Australia, who are instrumental in working with the brand to address specific biomechanical requirements. Junichiro Tateishi, General Manager of Product Function Research Department, at ASICS said, “We believe the GEL-KAYANO™ 31 shoe not only provides the stability the shoe is famous for, but also delivers a truly impressive level of comfort to help runners go further. We are also proud that GEL-KAYANO™ 31 shoe continues to display its CO2e emissions, printed on its insole as 10.6kg per pair, which shows ASICS’ ongoing commitment to transparency regarding the CO2e emissions, so that runners can feel confident about their choices when purchasing the GEL-KAYANO™ 31 shoe.” “The GEL-KAYANO is a legendary running shoe for a reason, and we’re excited to see how fans of the series enjoy this added comfort when they try the shoe. Our hope is that it helps everyone feel comfortable, confident and uplifted,” said Tateishi. The <a href="https://www.asics.com/nz/en-nz/gel-kayano-31-womens-1012b670-300">GEL-KAYANO 31</a> shoe is available now for men and women from <a href="https://www.asics.com/nz/en-nz/">ASICS</a> retail, online stores and official ASICS stockists for $320 NZD. If you’re in the market for a long-lasting, supportive, stylish and comfortable pair of walking/running shoes, the ASICS GEL-KAYANO 31 will revolutionise the way you move, keeping you supported with every stride. Image credits: Supplied

Beauty & Style

Teen actress on life support after devastating mishap

Teen actress Mamie Laverock is currently on life support after falling five stories from a balcony. According to a <a href="https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-us-support-mamie" target="_blank" rel="noopener">GoFundMe</a> page, the 19-year-old initially suffered a "medical emergency" on May 11 and was hospitalised in Winnipeg, Canada before being transferred to a hospital in Vancouver, where her condition was labelled “unclear” but showed “signs of improvement.” However, her parents Nicole and Rob shared a devastating update over the weekend, saying that she is now on life support after an incident on May 26 where she was "was escorted out of a secure unit of the hospital and taken up to a balcony walkway from which she fell five stories". "She sustained life threatening injuries, has undergone multiple extensive surgeries, and is currently on life support," the GoFundMe page read. "We are all devastated, in shock, at this intensely difficult time." The teen actress who stars in When Calls the Heart, was in intensive care for two weeks prior to the incident. Following the news, her co-stars took to social media to urge fans to keep her in their thoughts and prayers. “I love this family, my heart is broken,” Johannah Newmarch, who plays Laverock's on-screen mother on the show, tweeted on Monday. “A devastating time for all who care for Mamie. Please help if you can,” she added alongside a link to the fundraiser. “They need all the support they can get to make it through this.” Co-stars Erin Krakow and Loretta Walsh also told their followers that they have donated and encouraged them to do the same. The GoFundMe page has so far raised over $23,000 CAD or over $25,400 AUD. Hallmark Media, the production company Laverock is with, shared a statement on Variety. "We are deeply saddened to hear the news about Mamie. As a beloved member of our When Calls the Heart community, we wish her and her family peace, comfort, and many prayers during this difficult time," the statement read. Image: GoFundMe/ Instagram

Caring

Scarlett Johansson slams tech giant's AI update

Scarlett Johansson has issued a furious public statement, claiming that tech giant OpenAI used a voice that is “eerily similar” to hers in the latest version of ChatGPT. In the statement published by NPR, the actress claimed that OpenAI CEO Sam Altman had approached her last year asking if she would be interested in voicing their new AI voice assistant. After further consideration and "for personal reasons" she rejected the offer. She claimed that Altman then reached out to her agent again just days before the AI voice assistant was released, but before she had a chance to respond, the voice "Sky" was released. “When I heard the released demo, I was shocked, angered and in disbelief that Mr Altman would pursue a voice that sounded so eerily similar to mine that my closest friends and news outlets could not tell the difference,” she said in the statement. She also said that the similarity seemed intentional, as Altman tweeted the word "her" upon Sky's release, which is the same name as a 2013 movie she was in where she voiced a chat system. “In a time when we are all grappling with deepfakes and the protection of our own likeness, our own work, our own identities, I believe these are questions that deserve absolute clarity,” the actress said in her statement. “I look forward to resolution in the form of transparency and the passage of appropriate legislation to help ensure that individual rights are protected.” OpenAI announced that it had paused the use of the “Sky” voice on Sunday, and insisted that it wasn't Johansson's voice, but another actress. “We believe that AI voices should not deliberately mimic a celebrity’s distinctive voice — Sky’s voice is not an imitation of Scarlett Johansson but belongs to a different professional actress using her own natural speaking voice,” the company wrote. Image: Alessandro Bremec/NurPhoto/ Shutterstock Editorial

Legal

"I’m not going to be cured". How breast cancer awareness and support sidelines people with metastatic disease

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sophie-lewis-111177">Sophie Lewis</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/andrea-smith-15431">Andrea Smith</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/katherine-kenny-318175">Katherine Kenny</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> There have been incredible <a href="https://www.cancer.gov/types/breast/research">advances</a> in breast cancer diagnosis and treatment in recent years. And stories about celebrities who have “beaten” breast cancer continue to be a source of inspiration for many people. However, this emphasis on fighting, beating and surviving cancer shuts out the voices of those who will not survive. That is, the many people diagnosed with incurable, life-limiting metastatic breast cancer, <a href="https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/cancer/cancer-data-in-australia">which kills nine Australians every day</a> or nearly <a href="https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/cancer/cancer-data-in-australia">3,300 people</a> a year. Yet an <a href="https://www.bcna.org.au/latest-news/bcna-news/making-metastatic-breast-cancer-count/">estimated 10,000</a> Australians are living with the diagnosis. Being diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer, as one of the authors has been, means ongoing treatment to live as long, and as well, as possible. It also means an ongoing need for emotional and practical support. However, society, health-care professionals, cancer advocacy organisations, even a patient’s closest family and friends, can struggle to understand what it is like to live with an incurable and life-limiting cancer and how best to provide support. <h2>Why is there so little awareness?</h2> <a href="https://www.breastcancer.org/types/metastatic">Metastatic breast cancer</a>, also called stage four breast cancer, is the most serious form of breast cancer. Unlike early breast cancer that is contained within the breast or nearby lymph nodes, metastatic breast cancer has spread to other parts of the body, most often the bones, lungs, liver, or brain. There is no cure for metastatic breast cancer despite decades of advocacy, funding and research. Treatment continues for as long as it helps to control the cancer and is tolerated by the patient. Median survival is <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.5694/mja2.51687">two to three years</a>, although newer, novel treatments mean some patients are living much longer. As a society, we can be uncomfortable <a href="https://theconversation.com/before-you-go-are-you-in-denial-about-death-34056">talking about and facing death</a>. When it comes to cancer, we usually prefer focusing on good news stories. These narratives are often perceived to be better for fundraising and are reassuring for people newly diagnosed. But they fail to <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/1467-9566.13704">represent</a> the diversity and reality of cancer experiences. Despite considerable research into people with non-metastatic breast cancer, <a href="https://www.bcna.org.au/latest-news/bcna-news/making-metastatic-breast-cancer-count/">relatively little</a> is known about Australians with metastatic breast cancer. <h2>Feeling silenced and unsupported</h2> Through our <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/1467-9566.13704">research</a> we wanted to better understand people’s experiences of metastatic breast cancer. We interviewed 38 participants from around Australia with diverse experiences of metastatic breast cancer. Participants were recruited through breast cancer and community organisations. We found messages and public campaigns about cancer survivorship, which emphasise hope and positivity, drowned out the voices of those with metastatic breast cancer. The focus on “success stories” about surviving breast cancer made some people feel like it was their responsibility to “beat” cancer. If they didn’t, it was their own fault. As one interviewee told us: "I react quite badly to all the, ‘we’ve had breast cancer and we beat it and we’ve survived. Aren’t we fantastic.’ There’s almost a feeling if you haven’t beaten your breast cancer you haven’t tried hard enough." Silence around metastatic breast cancer was common in research participants’ experiences. It prevented many from connecting with others and to the support they needed. It even affected relationships with those closest to them leaving them feeling misunderstood: "They don’t realise I’ve got to be on treatment forever. I’m not going to be cured. I think society thinks everything can be fixed; metastatic breast cancer actually can’t be fixed." Sharing deep fears and worries about their life expectancy can leave people with metastatic breast cancer feeling drained rather than supported. Many participants reported having to support and shield family, friends, acquaintances and work colleagues from the reality of their terminal diagnosis. "You hide how you feel because you don’t want to be avoided […] You put on that big, happy face. But like an onion if you peeled the layers away, you’d find out what’s going on." While many participants wanted to join a community of people with metastatic breast cancer, they struggled to know how to find one. Those who did, emphasised how invaluable it had been: "Being able to identify with and know that these people really get me is a huge relief and it reduces the isolation." These findings echo <a href="https://www.bcna.org.au/media/alcjjmm2/bcna_member-survey-report_2017.pdf">previous research</a> demonstrating people with metastatic breast cancer have higher support needs than those with non-metastatic breast cancer. And these needs are <a href="https://www.bcna.org.au/media/alcjjmm2/bcna_member-survey-report_2017.pdf">less likely to be met</a> by <a href="https://bmchealthservres.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12913-022-08269-8">health care, support services</a>, family or friends. <h2>A new path</h2> Being diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer can be terrifying, lonely and create significant support needs. It is essential people with metastatic breast cancer have their <a href="https://ascopubs.org/doi/10.1200/OP.20.00183">voices listened to</a> and their needs met. Next steps should include: <ul> <li> <a href="https://bcna-dxp.azureedge.net/media/d32bhdzf/bcna_making-metastatic-breast-cancer-count_2022.pdf">improving data collection by cancer registries</a> so we know exactly how many people in Australia have metastatic breast cancer </li> <li> increasing representation of people with metastatic breast cancer in advocacy, support organisations and research </li> <li> nationwide access to peer-to-peer programs and professionally led metastatic breast cancer support groups. </li> </ul> We must ensure people with metastatic breast cancer are the ones to speak to their experience and needs. As a colleague with metastatic breast cancer said: "I read an article written by an early-stage breast cancer ‘survivor’. It felt like someone describing winter when they had only ever experienced autumn." If you or someone you know has metastatic breast cancer, these organisations may be able to support you or connect you with others with the same diagnosis: <ul> <li> <a href="https://www.bcna.org.au">Breast Cancer Network Australia</a> for information and support </li> <li> <a href="https://www.mcgrathfoundation.com.au/">McGrath Foundation</a> for information about access to metastatic breast care nurses. </li> </ul> <hr /> The authors would like to thank the members of Breast Cancer Network Australia’s Metastatic Breast Cancer Lived Experience Reference Group for their review of this article.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/215458/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sophie-lewis-111177">Sophie Lewis</a>, Senior Lecturer, University of Sydney, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/andrea-smith-15431">Andrea Smith</a>, Research fellow, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/katherine-kenny-318175">Katherine Kenny</a>, ARC DECRA Senior Research Fellow, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/im-not-going-to-be-cured-how-breast-cancer-awareness-and-support-sidelines-people-with-metastatic-disease-215458">original article</a>.

Caring

4 ways to support someone with dementia during extreme heat

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/nikki-anne-wilson-342631">Nikki-Anne Wilson</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/unsw-sydney-1414">UNSW Sydney</a> Our ability to adapt our behaviour to changes in temperature takes a significant amount of thought and decision making. For example, we need to identify suitable clothing, increase our fluid intake, and understand how to best keep the house cool. A person with dementia may find some or all these things challenging. These and other factors mean, for someone with dementia, extreme heat <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31520832/#:%7E:text=Conclusion%3A%20Heatwaves%20increased%20the%20risk,heat%2Drelated%20Alzheimer's%20disease%20burden.">can be deadly</a>. But as the temperature rises, friends, relatives and carers can help. <h2>El Niño means there are challenges ahead</h2> The recent declaration of <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-09-19/bureau-of-meteorology-el-nino-blog/102875154">another El Niño</a> means we need to think about how we can best support those more vulnerable to be safe during the warmer months. Extreme heat and bushfires bring unique challenges for someone with dementia. Bushfires have a significant impact on older people’s mental health. But they generally <a href="https://www.health.act.gov.au/sites/default/files/2023-03/PATH_Impact%20of%202019-20%20Bushfires%20on%20a%20Cohort%20of%20Older%20Adults_REPORT_V3_0.pdf">bounce back</a> quickly. However, for someone with dementia, extreme heat can lead to a <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0013935119305110">significant deterioration</a> in their overall health and they may not recover. Emergency evacuations can also be confusing and distressing for a person with dementia, so it is important to think ahead. <h2>Why are people with dementia more at risk?</h2> Dementia can affect the parts of the brain that help <a href="https://academic.oup.com/brain/article/138/11/3360/332653?login=true">regulate</a> our body temperature. Some <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0243665">medications</a> can also increase someone’s sensitivity to heat. Problems with memory and thinking associated with dementia <a href="https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/daily-living/drinking-hydration">means</a> remembering to drink or communicating you are thirsty can be challenging. Heat can affect everyone’s mood. But if someone with dementia becomes dehydrated this can <a href="https://www.alzdiscovery.org/cognitive-vitality/blog/can-dehydration-impair-cognitive-function">increase</a> confusion and agitation, making it harder for them to know how to cool down. A person with dementia can also wander and become lost, which can be dangerous in extreme heat. <h2>4 ways to support someone with dementia</h2> 1. Avoid dehydration and heatstroke Try to avoid dehydration by encouraging someone to drink throughout the day. It’s better to have <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31769256/">small amounts</a> of liquid regularly instead of a large amount all at once. Little and often will help maximise hydration while avoiding sudden trips to <a href="https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/dementia-continence-issues#causes-of-incontinence-in-people-with-dementia">the bathroom</a>. Try to offer different types of drinks, or ice blocks. Placing drinks in sight can help as a reminder to drink. Choose foods with a high liquid content, such as fruit, salads, cool broths and yoghurt. Look out for <a href="https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/hot-weather-safety-older-adults#:%7E:text=Signs%20of%20heat%20stroke%20are,as%20under%20shade%20or%20indoors.">signs of heatstroke</a>, such as increased confusion beyond what the person would usually experience. Heatstroke may be more difficult to spot in someone living with dementia so it is important to check in when possible and to help them cool down if needed. 2. Cool the home Try to modify their home to make it easier to stay cool. Some air-conditioners have complex settings so make sure the temperature is set appropriately and the person with dementia knows how to use the controls. It is important to keep blinds and curtains shut where possible to reduce heat. However, ensure the <a href="https://www.scie.org.uk/dementia/supporting-people-with-dementia/dementia-friendly-environments/lighting.asp">lighting is adequate</a> to avoid falls. Try to support the person to make suitable clothing choices for the season by having cool, lightweight options easily available. 3. Think about communications early If someone with dementia lives alone, consider how you will maintain contact in an emergency. Some people may not realise many landlines don’t work in a power outage, and of course, mobile phones can’t be recharged. Ensure the person with dementia has access to an <a href="https://www.telstra.com.au/support/category/home-phone/uninterruptible-power-supply">uninterruptable power supply</a>. This can help maintain communication for a few hours in a blackout. 4. Have an evacuation plan In case of fire, flash flooding or severe storm, <a href="https://dementiaresearch.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/2447_DCRC_Prep_natural_disaster_EBook_5.pdf">have an evacuation plan</a>. If the person with dementia attends a day or respite centre, know their plan too. The situation can change quickly in an emergency, and this can be particularly overwhelming for people with cognitive issues. Understand that someone with dementia may become distressed when their routine is disrupted. So be prepared with some simple activities or comfort items, current medications, and any specific medical information. Stay up-to-date with <a href="http://www.bom.gov.au/">current warnings</a> and act early whenever possible. <h2>We can all help</h2> It’s not just carers of people with dementia who can help. We can all ensure people with dementia stay safe and cool this spring and summer. So remember to check in on your relatives, friends and neighbours or arrange for someone to do so on your behalf.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/213987/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/nikki-anne-wilson-342631">Nikki-Anne Wilson</a>, Postdoctoral Research Fellow, Neuroscience Research Australia (NeuRA), <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/unsw-sydney-1414">UNSW Sydney</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/4-ways-to-support-someone-with-dementia-during-extreme-heat-213987">original article</a>.

Body

Ted Lasso star ordered to pay massive child support sum

Jason Sudeikis has been ordered to pay ex Olivia Wilde an enormous sum of child support, as a bitter two-year custody battle draws to a close. According to new court filings obtained by <a href="https://pagesix.com/2023/09/25/jason-sudeikis-and-olivia-wilde-settle-custody-battle-actor-to-pay-27500-per-month/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Page Six</a>, the Ted Lasso star has allegedly agreed to pay his ex $27,500 ($A42,800) per month in child support for their two kids, Otis, 9, and Daisy, 6. The hefty settlement has been based on Sudeikis' reported 2023 income of $10.5 million ($A16.3 million) and Wilde’s estimated income of $500,000 ($A778,000). “The parties agree that child support for the minor children in the amount of $27,500 per month is sufficient to maintain the needs of the minor children considering Jason’s station in life … is consistent with each child’s best interest, and application of the guideline would be unjust or inappropriate in this case,” the court papers reportedly state. The legal proceedings began two years ago, and took a dramatic turn in 2022 when Wilde, who was promoting her new movie Don't Worry Darling at the time, was served legal papers while on stage delivering a speech at CinemaCon. At the time, a source told <a href="https://pagesix.com/2022/04/29/olivia-wilde-mortified-after-being-served-with-legal-papers/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Page Six</a> that Wilde was mortified over the brazen act. “It seemed unthinkable to her, and it took a moment to set in, but as mortifying as it was, she did not want to give a reaction,” the insider explained. Since then, things have improved for the couple, as they were both seen putting on a united front at Otis' soccer game in LA. Wilde and Sudeikis started dating in November 2011 and got engaged in January 2013. They welcomed their two kids before separating in November 2020. Image credits: Getty Images

Legal

6 ways to be more supportive to those closest to you

Susan Krauss Whitbourne is a professor of Psychology and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. She writes the Fulfilment at Any Age blog for Psychology Today. During difficult periods of life, such as experiencing a tragic loss or sudden break-up, those you care about need you to be there for them. At other times, your loved ones may not need help, but at least would like some support and encouragement. It’s well known that receiving social support is one of the best and most effective ways to cope with stress. People who perceive themselves to be supported are also most likely to be happier, and may even live longer than those who don’t. New research on social support for parents of autistic children shows just how you can be the person on whom your loved ones can most rely. The ageing parents of adult children with autism spectrum disorders (ASD) undoubtedly face major challenges in their daily life and, according to this new research, benefit tremendously from the type of social support that friends and loved ones can provide. Christine Marsack, in the School of Social Work at Eastern Michigan University, teamed up with Preethy Samuel of Wayne State University (2017), to investigate the role of social support in mediating the amount of perceived burden and quality of life. As the authors point out, caregiving research on adult children and their ageing parents has typically focused on predicting burden in the children. There is far less known about what happens to ageing parents when it’s the children themselves who are in need of caregiving. The Michigan team based their work on the cognitive model of stress and coping, in which it’s the appraisal of an event as stressful that leads it to have a negative impact on the individual. In the case of parents of children with ASD, after coping with the challenge of receiving the diagnosis itself, their next step is to come “to grips with the condition and obtain access to support services to assist with caregiving” (p. 2379). The question that Marsack and Samuel investigated was whether formal or informal social support would have ameliorating effects on parental stress. Using a sample of 320 parents aged 50 and older, the majority of whom were under 70 years of age, the research team administered an online survey inquiring about psychological quality of life, perception of caregiving burden, contact with formal support agencies, and perceived degree of informal social support. Formal supports were used heavily by sample members, including psychiatric, financial, counselling, and adult day care, for example. Even the relatively wide range of opportunities to get help in this way was not enough to stave off the effects of perceived burden on parental mental health outcomes. Instead, it was their answers to a six-item questionnaire of informal support that proved to be key in reducing their perceived stress. The questionnaire used by Marsack and Samuel was one developed for use in assessing perceived availability of social support by coronary heart disease patients that has been widely adapted to other situations. It’s from this measure, known as the Enhancing Recovery in Coronary Heart Disease (ENRICHD) Social Support Index (ESSI), that we can now look to see how you can support people coping with challenges in their own lives right now: 1. Be available to listen. The ESSI asks whether there is someone who will be available to listen when needed. This means that you provide a sounding board when the person who needs your support approaches you. It doesn’t mean that you provide help regardless of whether you’re being asked for it. Let the person you care about know that you’re willing to listen, uncritically, when the situation demands it. 2. Be available with advice. When you are approached for help, providing advice can prove to be very supportive. Again, providing unsolicited advice isn’t perceived as particularly supportive, but being ready for it when asked will help ensure that your advice hits a receptive audience. 3. Show love and affection. Without providing anything in the way of objective support, it’s often enough just to know that someone cares to help get the stressed individual through tough times. The love and affection could be of the face-to-face form, and it's probably best when it is, but it can also come in the form of virtual cheers. 4. Help out every now and then with daily chores or by running errands. This is something you need to be able to do in person, so if you live some distance away from the individual you would like to support, it may mean that you take a trip there every few months to do some of the heavy lifting around the house, or just help with some on-site logistics. 5. Support the individual during the decision-making process. The person you care about may have to come up with plans that require more than just a sounding board or advice. Being patiently willing to go through the steps required to solve the problem can give the person you care about a more balanced perspective than would be possible if he or she were making this decision alone. 6. Be a person who the person you care about can trust and confide in. The ESSI inquires about being actually present, but if this isn’t feasible, that quality of being trustworthy seems to be key. Caring for an adult child with ASD may have led some of the parents to wish they could talk about their frustrations, perhaps even about those they felt toward their spouse, with someone outside the relationship. Worrying that the person they told might violate that trust would only add to the stress of their situation. You might think it’s enough for the person you care about to sign up for an established support network or to be able to receive financial or emergency assistance. The Marsack and Samuel study shows that the quality of the friendship, trust, and sensitivity you provide that can make an even greater difference. There’s no way to avoid all of the stressful situations that life can present, whether through family situations, work problems, or emergencies. Fulfillment in our relationships involves, as this study shows, that willingness to give the support that will make the most difference in helping those we care about. Written by Susan Krauss Whitbourne. Republished with permission of <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/files/attachments/4141/the-neuroscience-joyful-education-judy-willis-md.pdf" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Psychology Today</a>. Images: Getty

Relationships

‘We lose ourselves’: carers talk about the lonely, stressful work of looking after loved ones

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/fleur-sharafizad-1138251">Fleur Sharafizad</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/esme-franken-947855">Esme Franken</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/uma-jogulu-1278812">Uma Jogulu</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a> An informal personal carer is someone who looks after a family member, neighbour or friend in need of care due to disability, illness or age. In Australia, there are approximately 2.8 million informal personal carers, including 906,000 who are primary carers. Projections suggest the national demand for carers will <a href="https://www.carersaustralia.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/FINAL-Value-of-Informal-Care-22-May-2020_No-CIC.pdf">rise 23% by 2030</a>. Around one in ten Australians are informal carers: <a href="https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/australias-welfare/informal-carers">most of these unpaid</a>. This group of people support one of society’s most foundational needs and our economy would struggle without them. Yet, little is understood about their experiences. <a href="https://bristoluniversitypressdigital.com/view/journals/ijcc/aop/article-10.1332-239788223X16789866214981/article-10.1332-239788223X16789866214981.xml">Our recent research</a> reveals how this group of carers lack necessary support for their own wellbeing. <h2>Our research</h2> We interviewed 36 informal personal primary carers living across Western Australia and Queensland. Respondents were aged between 34 and 69 years, and had all been the primary carer for a child, parent, partner, or in-law, for between two and 21 years. Data was collected in two waves: one in 2020 and the other in 2021. Respondents were recruited with the help of an Australian carers’ organisation. <h2>‘I’d rather it be someone else’s problem’</h2> Many of the carers we spoke to said they were not caring by choice, but by necessity. They said they feel both unseen and undervalued. A husband who had been caring for his wife who suffers from Alzheimer’s said: "I would rather work. I really don’t like being a carer. I’d rather it be someone else’s problem. Being a carer, you just get forgotten." Carers generally provide care around-the-clock, yet their compensations (such as <a href="https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/carer-payment">carer payments</a>) are far from equivalent to full-time pay. The carer payment, for example, equates to only <a href="https://www.carersaustralia.com.au/programs-projects/caring-costs-us/">28% of weekly ordinary time earnings</a> in Australia, and carers can expect to lose <a href="https://www.carersaustralia.com.au/carers-are-17700-worse-off-every-year-in-superannuation-payments/#:%7E:text=Caring%20Costs%20Us%3A%20The%20economic%20impact%20on%20lifetime,every%20year%20they%20are%20in%20that%20caring%20role.">approximately $17,700 in superannuation</a> every year they provide care. Few of <a href="https://www.carersaustralia.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/FINAL-Carers-Australia-2023-24-Jan-2023-Budget-Submission.pdf">Carers Australia’s pre-budget submission items</a> to benefit carers were adopted in the most recent federal budget. Instead, the budget contained items which may indirectly benefit carers through <a href="https://www.carersaustralia.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/2023-24-Budget-What-it-means-for-carers.pdf">increased support for the cared-for</a>. But these measures do not explicitly recognise and support carers’ wellbeing. Similarly, the recent draft of the <a href="https://www.pmc.gov.au/resources/draft-national-strategy-care-and-support-economy">National Strategy for the Care and Support Economy</a> recognises the contribution informal carers make to Australia’s economy but focuses on paid care and support. Our interviewees spoke about the personal costs of their work, and the stress and loneliness they experience. They shared feelings of being taken for granted as if their role was not work, let alone difficult work. One mum caring for her disabled son shared: "I just want people to see that, [a] carer doesn’t have any leave, paid leave, or recognition. People just think that’s your loved one, that’s your job. But I do want people to understand that I did not choose to be a carer as my career, but I will do it because it is important." This played into a feeling of people losing their sense of self, because caring work was so demanding and time consuming. A mother who had been caring for her daughter for 17 years after she had been involved in an accident said, "People don’t realise how much we put our life on hold to support the people that need that emotional and mental and physical and spiritual support. We put ourselves in the back shed while we’re supporting them, so we lose ourselves." <h2>A mental toll</h2> Many spoke of how they once had individual goals and ambitions, which they now considered unachievable. All of our interviewees had quit jobs and halted careers to take on personal care full-time. One mother caring for her ill child said: "I think if I had a crystal ball, I don’t know that I would perhaps have become a parent, I think I would have just stuck to my corporate life and had a cat and be done with it." The mental health toll experienced by carers in our study was clear throughout all interviews. A mother looking after her child with mental health challenges expressed: "Every carer has mental health impacts from being a carer. They won’t say it’s depression or anxiety, but it’s mental health because when the hierarchy of needs is not being met for you, you can’t provide them for somebody else." As one interviewee explained, the demanding nature of the work had left them exhausted and as though they “can’t do it”. Our interviewees spoke of “falling apart” under the strain of constantly caring for high-needs people in their households. One mother who cared for her children who were both on the autism spectrum recalled: "How many times, if I don’t go to the bathroom and have a shower to cool down myself, I could kill the kids and myself easily. That’s how bad. We are not ever in the category to get help." <h2>Feeling abandoned</h2> Because so much of their work happens in pre-existing relationships and behind closed doors, carers talked about not just feeling unseen but abandoned. A common theme across all interviews was how carers felt abandoned by institutions, health professionals and, in many cases, friends and family members. One husband who had cared for his wife for close to 20 years said: "The government doesn’t even care about the carers […] we’re not really getting anything and then they’re trying to take the crumbs off us." Carers do not have psychological, institutional or social support for themselves as individuals, separate from their role. But these support pillars are necessary so the entire responsibility of care does not fall solely on informal carers. <a href="https://www.carersaustralia.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/FINAL-Carers-Australia-2023-24-Jan-2023-Budget-Submission.pdf">Carer-inclusive activities</a> could be a good start. But policy should also be responsive to the unique and unmet needs of carers. These relate to the lack of personal and professional development, feelings of abandonment and social isolation. With an ageing population, a pandemic, and an emerging crisis over the quality of care for older Australians and people with disabilities, the role of informal carers has become increasingly important. The truth is that most of us will likely, at some point, undertake care work or be the person being cared for. Better formalised support for carers will ultimately improve the care for the most vulnerable among us and society as a whole. If this article has raised issues for you, or if you’re concerned about someone you know, call <a href="http://lifeline.org.au/">Lifeline</a> on 13 11 14. <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/fleur-sharafizad-1138251">Fleur Sharafizad</a>, Lecturer in Management, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/esme-franken-947855">Esme Franken</a>, Lecturer in Management, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/uma-jogulu-1278812">Uma Jogulu</a>, Senior Lecturer, School of Business and Law, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/we-lose-ourselves-carers-talk-about-the-lonely-stressful-work-of-looking-after-loved-ones-206409">original article</a>.

Caring

10 polite habits nail techs actually dislike – and what to do instead

Nail salon etiquette mistakes Repeat after us: Pampering yourself is important. An easy way to do just that? Getting a manicure. Not only is it relatively affordable, but prettily painted nails can also put an extra pep in your step. Of course, the nail tech who does your manicure plays a large role in making you feel so good: From that wonderful hand massage to getting your cuticles in tip-top shape, their skills can make a huge difference. So, it only makes sense that you’d want to treat them really well. But here’s the thing: Certain seemingly polite etiquette rules can actually make a nail tech’s job harder. Plus, while it’s important to be nice, you don’t have to try extra hard to make their life easier. “A manicure is your time off, so you should relax,” says Karina Medrano, a nail technician. So what does that mean? It means there are certain polite habits that are totally a must. And then there are other moves you can (and should) skip so you can focus on your own relaxation. Since it can be hard to identify exactly what most people dislike, we turned to the pros to fill us in on polite moves that are actually etiquette mistakes at the nail salon. Anticipating their next move Over the course of your manicure, your nail tech will likely move your hands around a bit – turning them over to apply lotion and rotating each finger to paint your tips with the best nail polish. If you’ve had a number of manicures, you may even be able to anticipate what they’ll need you to do next and be tempted to save them from having to tell you how to move. Don’t do it. “Many times, clients position themselves in a way that seems to be helpful, but it’s the contrary,” says Medrano. You may make the wrong move and actually mess up their paint job, causing them to have to start over. Do this instead: “It’s best to let your nail tech move you around,” says Medrano. “There is no need to tense up – just relax.” Put simply, wait for them to direct you. One way to make that easier is to pay attention to what’s going on. If you have headphones on and are listening to music or a podcast, keep it at a low enough volume that you can hear your technician if they need you to do something. Keeping the conversation going When you’re getting your nails done, you’re literally face to face with your manicurist. Because of this, you may feel like it’s your job to chat with them and keep them entertained. But there’s no need to rack your brain for conversation starters. This is a job, and there is zero expectation that you should keep your nail tech entertained, says Medrano. If you want to chat, no problem. If you don’t? Well, that’s OK too. Do this instead: If you’d prefer quiet, Medrano says that it’s become totally normal to ask for a “silent appointment”. You can either let the salon know when you book your appointment or you can mention to your tech when you sit down that you are going to use the appointment to relax and have some quiet time. Giving a colour a chance when you don't like it You arrive at the salon and are faced with a wall of nail polish colours. Whether you want the trendiest colour of the season or just what you’re in the mood for, you’ll probably spend some time debating the perfect shade. Fast-forward to the moment your manicurist is slicking it on, and – you’re not so sure about it. But you feel bad and want to give it a chance. Maybe you’ll like it once the second coat is on, right? And you’d hate to make the tech take it off and start over. “For many, the hardest time to speak up during their appointment is when they don’t like the colour,” says Medrano. “But it’s better to tell us the second you start doubting your choice. Applying the colour is the most time-consuming part, and catching the colour change before doing all 10 fingers helps us stay on track with our appointments.” Plus, your nail tech wants you to walk away happy! Do this instead: If you’re not feeling the colour, speak up as soon as possible. You can simply tell them you’re not sure you like it. Then, tell them what you don’t like – maybe the red you chose is too orange or the pink is too sheer. They may be able to suggest another shade that is what you are looking for. After all, they see lots of different colours every day. Removing your own gel If you get gel manicures, you know that removing that type of polish can take a long time. You have to sit with remover on your nails for a while before the gel can be scraped away. But trying to do it at home to save time and work for your nail tech is not advisable. Gel polish needs to be removed in a certain way to minimise damage, warns nail artist Braelinn Frank. If you try to remove it yourself and wreck your nails, your tech will be left trying to get them back into shape to prevent your nails from peeling. Do this instead: When you make your appointment, let them know you have gel polish that will need to be removed. This allows the salon to build in more time for your appointment so the gel can be removed properly by a professional and you don’t make a bigger mess for your manicurist. Deferring to the pro Do you want rounded nails or more of an almond shape? Do you want your cuticles cut, or do you just want your manicurist to use really good cuticle oil before pushing them back? These are all decisions you’ll need to make during your appointment. Don’t just defer to the tech. Yes, they’re pros, but these are your nails. “It’s helpful when someone knows what they want their nails to look like,” says Medrano. Do this instead: If you really aren’t sure what you want, avoid telling the nail tech to do whatever they’d like. A better way to approach it is to ask them for their input on the different options and then make the decision that’s best for you based on what they tell you. Cleaning up There’s always a little bit of a mess when you get your nails done – think nail clippings, dust from filing, used cotton balls from removing polish. Worried that your nail tech is grossed out by all this and annoyed at having to pick up after you? They’re not. Not only that, but if you try to clean up, you might just get in the way. “It’s part of our job to keep up with the mess,” says Medrano. “And we know our way around our station best.” Remember, you can always give yourself a manicure at home, but if you go to the salon, one of the perks is not having to clean up! Do this instead: If you want to help, the best thing you can do is stay out of your nail tech’s way. As they try to wipe down their station, move your hands so they can do that. In other words, pay attention and adjust your positioning when needed – that will be the best way to help. Moving your own stuff to the drying station Your manicure is done, and it’s time to move over to the drying station. You feel bad about making a tech pick up your handbag, so you grab it yourself. While your intention is to be kind, you may smudge your nails and mess up all the hard work they just did. “We are here to help,” says Medrano, who confirms it’s better for them to help than to have you mess up your nails. Plus, even a little chip or smudge is a cardinal sin when it comes to making your manicure last longer. Do this instead: Allow them to move your bag (and any other items you have with you) to the drying station. Be gracious, and say thank you. Also let them pull out the chair or stool for you. Really don’t want someone to pick up your bag? Consider wearing a small crossbody bag so you can keep it on during your appointment. Holding it in Maybe you have to sneeze, or perhaps you are mid-manicure and suddenly have to pee. Holding it in does nobody any favours. While you may not want to interrupt the appointment, your nail tech would rather you be comfortable and enjoy the service. Plus, if you hold in your sneeze, it could backfire and lead to a bigger sneeze where you spray germs everywhere. “Do not be scared to ask if you need to do something,” says Medrano. “Nothing surprises us.” Do this instead: Need to use the bathroom? Let your tech know, and ask when the best time would be for you to do so. Have to sneeze? Say, “I’m going to sneeze.” Then, rather than using your hands to cover your mouth (which your tech then needs to go back to touching), sneeze into the crook of your arm. Trying to shimmy your credit card out of your wallet If the end of your appointment has come and you still haven’t paid, sliding your credit card out of your wallet with wet nails may feel like a Herculean task. But you can’t possibly ask your nail tech to do that, right? That would be rude. Wrong again. It’s actually ruder to smudge the beautiful paint job your nail tech just put a ton of time and energy into. Do this instead: “The amount of times that I have helped take out credit cards? It’s quite often,” says Medrano. “Just ask! Truly, it’s no problem.” Make it easier on your tech by telling them exactly where it is and what colour the card is; that way, they don’t have to fish around for it. Also, there’s no need to apologise – just say thank you! Image credits: Getty Images This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/healthsmart/tips/10-polite-habits-nail-techs-actually-dislike-and-what-to-do-instead" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>.

Beauty & Style

Rare sighting as famous friends step out in support of Michael J. Fox

Michael J. Fox has been joined by a host of his famous friends for a screening of his upcoming documentary. The new documentary explores the Back to the Future star's ongoing battle with Parkinson's disease, and the changes in his life and condition as he gets older. In a show of support for the actor, his celebrity mates joined together for a screening of Still at New York's Lincoln Center. Among the famous faces was actress Meg Ryan, who has not been spotted in public for more than six months. The former rom-com queen, best known for starring roles in films like When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle and You’ve Got Mail, lives a more quiet life outside of the spotlight these days. <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Cr1TCUeO8e3/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Cr1TCUeO8e3/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Tracy Pollan (@tracy.pollan)</a> </div> </blockquote> Ryan hasn’t appeared on screen since the 2015 film Ithaca, which she also directed. However, she is plotting a return to screens later this year, with Ryan starring in and directing the film What Happens Later, which is currently in production. Ryan was among a star-studded group of famous friends supporting J. Fox for the premiere of his doco, with stars including Bill Murray, Denis Leary, Joan Jett, Katie Couric, Mariska Hargitay, and Debra Messing. The screening of the documentary comes after Michael J. Fox <a href="https://oversixty.co.nz/health/caring/i-m-not-gonna-be-80-michael-j-fox-s-tragic-admission" target="_blank" rel="noopener">admitted</a> that his battle with the disease is getting more difficult. <p style="font-size: 16px; box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; caret-color: #212529; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';">“I’m not gonna be 80,” he said in a preview for an upcoming episode of the American current affairs program CBS Sunday Morning, according to Page Six. <p style="font-size: 16px; box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; caret-color: #212529; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';">In the clip, Journalist Jane Pauley tells Fox that he has “not squandered” but that his condition will eventually “make the call” as to when it’s his time to go. <p style="font-size: 16px; box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; caret-color: #212529; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';">“Yeah, it’s, it’s banging on the door,” the actor said. <p style="font-size: 16px; box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; caret-color: #212529; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';">“I’m not gonna lie. It’s gettin’ hard, it’s gettin’ harder. It’s gettin’ tougher. Every day it’s tougher.” <p style="font-size: 16px; box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; caret-color: #212529; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';">Image credits: Instagram

Caring

Tech millionaire’s “creepy” $100k offer sparks wave of backlash

US tech millionaire and Silicon Valley entrepreneur Steve Kirsch has been slammed for making a “creepy” offer towards a female passenger who was travelling on the same plane. In a tweet, Kirsch claimed that he offered the stranger $US100,000 to remove her face mask for the flight. "I am on board a Delta flight right now. The person sitting next to me in first-class refused $100,000 to remove her mask for the entire flight. No joke," he tweeted. Kirsch, who became infamous for spreading misinformation about the COVID-19 vaccines throughout the pandemic, said that he "explained" to his seatmate that masks "don’t work". He also claims that the woman worked for a pharmaceutical company, and he started by offering her $US100 but worked his way up. She rejected his offer, but Kirsch persisted and said that if she removed the mask to eat and drink she "she could be infected with one breath". Many have slammed the entrepreneur for his actions. “Ew. Do you make a habit of offering money to random women to remove coverings from their bodies mid-air?" posted Jess Piper, a former Democrat state representative nominee, in her response to Kirsch's post. “Stop bugging people who are minding their own business with your creepy nonsense,” commented Alastair McAlpine, an infectious disease expert. <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> I am on board a Delta flight right now. The person sitting next to me in first class refused $100,000 to remove her mask for the entire flight. No joke. This was after I explained they don’t work. She works for a pharma company. <a href="https://t.co/Q8Hwzhkmxf">pic.twitter.com/Q8Hwzhkmxf</a> — Steve Kirsch (@stkirsch) <a href="https://twitter.com/stkirsch/status/1634189428150390785?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 10, 2023</a></blockquote> "This is wildly creepy, you get that, right? Every part of this. From the request, to the expression, to the fact you decided to tweet this!" commented one user. “All you’re doing here is admitting you patronised and harassed a woman who made a decision she thought was best for her,” wrote another. Last week, Kirsch tried to pull the same stunt on a different flight. He tweeted that he offered his seatmates $US10,000 to remove their masks for the flight, but they also declined his offer. <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> I asked the people sitting next to me on the plane if I paid them $10,000 would they remove their mask for the duration of the flight? Both declined the offer. Maybe I should offer $100,000 next time? This can quantify the amount of brainwashing. <a href="https://t.co/VLlymusmcq">pic.twitter.com/VLlymusmcq</a> — Steve Kirsch (@stkirsch) <a href="https://twitter.com/stkirsch/status/1633166204054675456?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 7, 2023</a></blockquote> "Maybe I should offer $100,000 next time? This can quantify the amount of brainwashing," he added. Delta airlines have said that masks are optional for both domestic and international travel unless required by “applicable governments”. American federal law no longer requires masks be worn in airports or on planes, but certain cities and states may still make it a requirement at their airports. Image: Twitter

Travel Trouble

“I didn’t come to play”: Bruce Willis’ wife smacks down trolls

Emma Heming Willis has been forced to shut down the heartless trolls targeting her in the wake of husband Bruce Willis’ dementia diagnosis. In a video posted to social media, the 44-year-old model throws away claims that she’s been using Bruce for her “five minutes” of fame, and instead declares that she will turn them “into 10 because I'm always going to advocate for my husband.” Emma - who has spoken openly about her support for Bruce - once again stressed that she would be using this opportunity to raise awareness, before she was “going to turn my grief, and my anger, and my sadness, and do something good, around something that feels less than.” “So, watch this space,” she said, “because I didn’t come to play.” Emma’s message comes barely three days after she <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/health/caring/any-tips-bruce-willis-wife-posts-heartfelt-plea" target="_blank" rel="noopener">reached out to followers</a>, “caregivers, or dementia care specialists navigating this world” alike, seeking advice on how to help “get your loved ones out in the world safely”. “If you are someone who is looking after someone who has dementia,” she said in the clip, “you know how difficult and how stressful it can be, just to get them out into the world and navigate them safely - even just to get a cup of coffee.” And while the response to her post was overwhelmingly positive, the cruel few determined to make things worse for everyone just had to say their piece, and to prompt Emma’s fight back. They were nowhere to be seen in her latest post - possibly hiding with their tails tucked between their legs - and instead, she was once more met with an outpouring of support. <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cpf2KBOOVc7/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cpf2KBOOVc7/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Emma Heming Willis (@emmahemingwillis)</a> </div> </blockquote> “HELL YES!” wrote Bruce’s eldest daughter, Rumer. “I am so so proud of you!” “As a Registered Nurse, I appreciate you being a patient advocate for your husband,” said another, before requesting Emma do the exact opposite of what the internet trolls craved, “please don’t stop, we need people like you in the medical community!!! Hang in there. You are doing beautiful.” One now-supporter, who admitted that her previous perception of Emma had been negative and generated by the paparazzi, said, “Good for you … so sorry for what you and your family are going through. You truly are a woman of substance and power. I will be listening and learning.” “You go girl! There is an army of people behind you,” urged another. “Having to deal with your husband’s illness is bad enough but also having to deal with rude and intrusive press is unimaginable,” one said. “Keep shouting, keep protecting. He deserves the best life imaginable!!” “Emma, how sad is it when people don't get it,” another wrote, “this is such a problem in our society today...the lack of empathy. Why would people choose to believe that this is something you are doing for attention? Your family is going through hell - their foundation rocked, but it's a ploy??? Advocating for and protecting your family is what mama bears do!!!” Images: Instagram

Caring

For some LGBTQ+ older people, events like World Pride can be isolating – we need to better understand how to support them

<a href="https://sydneyworldpride.com/">World Pride</a> has come to Sydney, with the annual <a href="https://sydneyworldpride.com/events/mardi-gras-parade/">Mardi Gras Parade</a> on Saturday having returned to its Oxford Street home for the first time in three years. The 17-day festival is expected to host 500,000 participants over more than 300 events. It is an opportunity to celebrate all things queer, and a good time to take stock of the changes LGBTQ+ older people have experienced, and the challenges they continue to face. LGBTQ+ people aged in their 70s, 80s and 90s have witnessed extraordinary social change regarding gender and sexual diversity. For example, in Australia, same-sex marriage is now legal, <a href="https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/where-transgender-is-no-longer-a-diagnosis/">Gender Identity Disorder</a> has been removed as a clinical diagnosis, and all states have an equal age of consent for homosexual and heterosexual sex. These have been hard-fought gains after many years of adversity and advocacy on the part of LGBTQ+ older people, among others. Each year, the <a href="https://www.78ers.org.au/">78ers</a> – who were involved in the Sydney marches and protests between June and August 1978 – take pride of place towards the front of the parade. <h2>Loneliness and social isolation</h2> Despite these achievements, the consequences of living most of one’s life in a homophobic and transphobic society have been considerable, particularly in terms of mental illness and social isolation. <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00918369.2021.2005999?journalCode=wjhm20">Australian</a> and <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34326557/">US</a> research indicates loneliness is more common among lesbian, gay and bisexual older people than the general population. This is particularly so for those who live alone and are not in a relationship. Similar findings are reported in relation to <a href="https://www.lgbtagingcenter.org/resources/pdfs/LGBT%20Aging%20and%20Health%20Report_final.pdf">transgender older people</a>, although more research is needed. <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00918369.2021.2005999?journalCode=wjhm20">Loneliness</a> is also more common among lesbian and gay older people who are disconnected from LGBTQ+ communities and who hold negative attitudes towards their own same-sex attraction. For LGBTQ+ older people experiencing social isolation and loneliness, what might be their experience of watching World Pride from a distance? What might it be like navigating rainbow paraphernalia while shopping at <a href="https://www.coles.com.au/about/sustainability/better-together/our-team/pride">Coles</a> (a World Pride partner)? How might they perceive the glitz and glamour of the Mardi Gras Parade? World Pride may be challenging for those who don’t feel an attachment to LGBTQ+ communities or who feel negative about their own sexuality. And this may reinforce a sense of disconnection. But some may gain comfort from witnessing the sense of community on display. It may even strengthen their perceived connection to other LGBTQ+ people. And, for those who are not open about their sexuality or authentic gender, it may support their journey to “come out” later in life. <h2>The impact of discrimination</h2> For many LGBTQ+ older people, the experience of discrimination remains very real in their lives. <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33770516/">Past and recent discrimination</a> leads to delays seeking treatment and support, simply because people expect to be discriminated against when accessing services. In Australia, previous discrimination has been found to predict <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00918369.2021.2005999?journalCode=wjhm20">loneliness</a> and <a href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/ageing-and-society/article/abs/recent-versus-lifetime-experiences-of-discrimination-and-the-mental-and-physical-health-of-older-lesbian-women-and-gay-men/90988215582414EA0AB7936B6384FC97">lower mental health</a> among older lesbian and gay people. In the US, <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6779303/">microaggressions</a> – small everyday interactions that reinforce the experience of being “other” – have predicted greater impairment, higher rates of depression and lower quality of life among LGBTQ+ people aged 80 and over. There remain major gaps in evidence on the issues faced by LGBTQ+ older people, particularly for bisexual, queer, transgender and nonbinary older people. This is mainly due to the failure to systematically collect inclusive data on gender and sexual diversity, through variables such as those recommended by the <a href="https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/standards/standard-sex-gender-variations-sex-characteristics-and-sexual-orientation-variables/latest-release">Australian Bureau of Statistics</a>. <h2>Strengths and resilience</h2> This year, older people seemed to occupy a more prominent place in the Mardi Gras Parade. Perhaps this is because of the natural ageing of our community activists. Older people were also represented in the wider World Pride festival, such as in the theatre production <a href="https://sydneyworldpride.com/events/all-the-sex-ive-ever-had/">All the Sex I’ve Ever Had</a>, in which older Sydney residents reflect on the evolution of their sexuality over the course of their lives. A festival like World Pride showcases the strengths and resilience of LGBTQ+ people and communities. The organisation of such an event should not be underestimated. This reflects LGBTQ+ people’s high level of civic engagement and commitment to giving back to society, as demonstrated by their greater likelihood of being <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/0312407X.2021.1899256">volunteers</a> and <a href="https://www.caregiving.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/2015_CaregivingintheUS_Final-Report-June-4_WEB.pdf">caregivers</a>. And the contribution of volunteers and caregivers during the HIV/AIDS crisis of the 1980s and ‘90s is not forgotten. LGBTQ+ older people generally are <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5241752/">resilient and maintain good health</a>. Many report increased <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s13178-021-00653-z">confidence and self-esteem</a>, compared with when they were younger. And many have created their own families – their families of choice – to support each other in later life. But we don’t know enough about their needs and how to provide them with inclusive services as they get older. World Pride is an opportunity to reflect on the hard-won gains but not ignore the challenges ahead. Image credits: Getty Images This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/for-some-lgbtq-older-people-events-like-world-pride-can-be-isolating-we-need-to-better-understand-how-to-support-them-200533" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.

Caring

Support is the best medicine

Sharing your experience and talking with others when ill can be very good for your wellbeing. Here’s why support groups are great. Good friends may help your life last longer as they’ll boost your self-esteem, offer companionship and provide support when you need it. A study by the Centre for Ageing Studies at Flinders University backed this up by following 1500 older Aussies for 10 years and found that those who had a large network of friends outlived those with fewer friends by 22 per cent. When you know you can count on someone to help or provide support when you most need it, it can make the world of difference. However, sometimes people may not live near close friends or have found it difficult to develop a strong community group around them. When a person becomes ill, a good network can be the best medicine for helping to keep a person’s spirits up, so joining a support group could be the perfect solution. Another study, completed in 2005 and published in health journal Cancer, found that out of the 61 women who had advanced ovarian cancer those with support networks had much lower levels of a protein linked with more aggressive types of cancer. Women who didn’t have as much social support around them had levels of the protein that were a whopping 70 per cent higher! Support groups can bring people together who are facing similar issues, ranging from major life changes to illness. Many people join support groups because sharing experiences with people who are going through the same battles can be incredibly helpful and make a person feel like they’re not alone. Well-known Australian cancer survivor, Dr Ian Gawler, who was diagnosed with bone cancer, had his right leg amputated and then had to battle the disease again later that same year, believes having a positive and practical attitude can help in many ways when battling disease. According to a 2005 study by The Cancer Council, there are health benefits associated with being part of a health support group. These include: improvements in coping and adaptation, reductions in psychological stress, enhanced self-esteem and even positive effects on immunological response. Just ask Terri-Ann Carter, a Queenslander who underwent surgery and chemotherapy for a lump on her neck. She started an online support group called Gladstone Cancer Friends as a way to cope with the isolation and stress of going through cancer treatment. For cancer sufferers, two big fears are one of relapse and social isolation. Whether online or in person, a support group can help a person cope with these two alienating factors. When it comes to your health, nothing should be taken for granted. Together with surrounding yourself with the love and support of family, friends or new acquaintances from a support group, it’s always worth getting good health insurance. How to find a support group: Ask your doctor or health care provider. They may be able to point you in the right direction of a support group near you. Go online. There are many over-60s who live in rural or regional areas, so more people are turning to the internet to connect with others for support and advice. Social media sites, such as Facebook, have become very popular for people to comfortably share their stories and experience in an open and supportive forum. Get in touch with local centres. Look to your local community halls, libraries and even supermarket notice boards for possible support groups in your area. Look to state or national bodies. Organisations for a particular illness or issue usually have a directory of the support groups in various local communities for people to be redirected to. Take a look and find one that’s close to you. Can’t find one? Start your own. If there’s no support group near you, why not start your own? Look to start an online group via Facebook or post announcements on a board in your local medical centre or hospital to spread the word. Image: Getty

Caring

New perspectives on navigating grief for owners of companion animals

The loss of a pet can be difficult, but the latest research suggests we can do better to help owners navigate their way through the grief process. For many, the pandemic resulted in more time spent in the company of pets while working from home and because of restrictions designed to limit the movement of people. In many cases, pets became key to maintaining a sense of normality, routine and motivation, not to mention <a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/nature/dogs-sense-of-smell-detect-human-stress/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">providing company</a> during times of social and physical isolation. Strangely, though, as the research highlights, society has a bias towards supporting certain circumstances of grieving over others. According to the authors of the review, published in Human–Animal Interactions, some types of trauma such as the loss of a pet, <a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/people/society/can-we-blame-the-famous-for-their-suicides/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">death by suicide</a>, a lost pregnancy or miscarriage and death from AIDS, can be stigmatic for the bereaved. These types of loss tend to be underacknowledged by others or given less attention or empathy. “When relationships are not valued by society, individuals are more likely to experience disenfranchised grief after a loss that cannot be resolved and may become complicated grief,” said Colleen Rolland, President and pet loss grief specialist for <a href="https://www.aplb.org/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement</a> (APLB). This stigma can interrupt the natural process of grieving, meaning that pet owners often ‘go it alone’, without social support when dealing with the loss of their companion animal. “The present review builds on research in the field of pet loss and human bereavement and factors in the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on human-animal attachment,” says Dr Michelle Crossley, an Assistant Professor at Rhode Island College in the US. “A goal of the present review is to provide counsellors with perspectives to consider in their practice when working with clients who have attachments to their companion animals. It also aims to acknowledge the therapeutic benefits of working through the grief process to resolution as a way to continue the bond with a deceased pet.” The review presents practical ways in which counsellors can help people grieving the loss of a pet through in-person and online approaches, such as group sessions and web-based chatrooms – “counselling interventions and coping strategies already being used in the therapeutic space,” notes Crossley. Practical activities such as providing safe spaces and materials to paint, draw or write about their anxieties and fears about loss are effective tools for helping children and adults navigate the grief process. <a href="https://petsandpeople.com.au/about/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Pets and People</a>, an online initiative founded by Dr Michael O’Donoghue and Penny Carroll, seeks to provide pet owners with resources and information across a whole host of issues associated with pet loss, including those discussing social stigmas. It also provides links to counsellors with experience in pet loss and lists Australian and New Zealand numbers for the Pet Loss Support Line which connects callers with counsellors. <img id="cosmos-post-tracker" style="opacity: 0; height: 1px!important; width: 1px!important; border: 0!important; position: absolute!important; z-index: -1!important;" src="https://syndication.cosmosmagazine.com/?id=226139&title=New+perspectives+on+navigating+grief+for+owners+of+companion+animals" width="1" height="1" data-spai-target="src" data-spai-orig="" data-spai-exclude="nocdn" /> <div id="contributors"> <a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/australia/new-perspective-navigating-grief-pets/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">This article</a> was originally published on Cosmos Magazine and was written by Clare Kenyon. Clare Kenyon is a science journalist for Cosmos. Image: Getty Images </div>

Family & Pets

5 tech mistakes not to make while travelling

In the hustle and bustle of preparing for a holiday away we sometimes forget about the small little things. We’re sure you’ve checked off all those big things you needed to do before you jet off but have you considered these simple tech mistakes people often made? We’ve rounded up the top five you’ll want to avoid to ensure your trip is easier and more enjoyable. Not backing anything up You might only be away for a week and it’s just a few hours away so it’s unlikely anything will happen, right? But what if the unexpected does happen and you lose your photos from your phone? What if your tablet gets stolen or lost? What if the memory card goes bust? Back up your phone, tablet and digital camera before you go away and if you’re holidaying for a while, it’s worthwhile to bring a USB stick to periodically back-up. Using your cell data For those going overseas, roaming rates can cost an arm and a leg. Either check if your mobile company has a reasonable international package or switch off the cellular data so your phone won’t use it. Instead limit yourself to wi-fi – most countries have public wi-fi hotspots and most accommodation usually has internet. Remember not to do anything personal on an unsecure wi-fi connection. Making calls instead of using Skype Rather than paying for international calls and texts, Skype will let you stay in touch with friends and family for free. Just make sure you’re connected to wi-fi so you’re not paying for cellular data. Stowing electronics in your check-in luggage You might be tempted to throw some of your electronics in your big luggage, after all you’re not going to be using them on the plane. But remember your check-in bag has to survive manhandling and an unpredictable luggage belt and we’ve all heard stories of items mysteriously disappearing from bags. Keep your expensive electronic with you on your carry-on. Not keeping devices close When you’ve settled into a hotel room, it’s easy to forget they’re not very secure. Think of all the people who have access to your room when you’re not in it. Even leaving valuables behind the desk can bring with it certain risks depending on the establishment you’re staying at. The best advice is to keep your electronics on you at all times. Image credits: Getty Images

Travel Tips

This new tech could spell end for mouse plagues

Invasive mice populations could be a thing of the past, thanks to a new genetic tool developed by a team of Australian scientists. Researchers at the University of Adelaide have developed t-CRISPR, which uses gene editing technology to alter the fertility gene in laboratory mice to make females infertile. “This is the first time that a new genetic tool has been identified to suppress invasive mouse populations by inducing female infertility,” said lead researcher Professor Paul Thomas. “The t-CRISPR approach uses cutting-edge DNA editing technology to make alterations to a female fertility gene. Once the population is saturated with the genetic modification, all the females that are generated will be infertile. “We are also developing new versions of t-CRISPR technology that are designed to target specific pest populations to prevent unwanted spread of the gene drive.” The new tool is based on an existing technology, CRISPR-Cas9 gene editing, which has largely been applied to limiting the spread of malaria by making male mosquitoes infertile. CRISPR 101 Since it was unveiled in 2012, the CRISPR method has been used to edit pieces of DNA inside the cells of organisms, primarily insects. “Up until now, this technology has been aimed at insects to try and limit the spread of malaria, which causes up to 500,000 deaths worldwide per year,” Luke Gierus, a post-graduate student and the paper’s co-first author, said. The technology relies on the Cas9 protein found in bacteria, which scientists can program to find and bind to almost any 20-letter sequence of DNA in a gene with the help of a piece of RNA that matches the target DNA sequence. When it finds the target, standard CRISPR cuts the DNA, and the process of repairing the DNA introduces mutations that can disable the gene. Other variations of CRISPR can also replace faulty genes, turn genes on or off, or change one letter of the DNA code to another. In this study, the team simulated what would happen when an edited version of a fertility gene on chromosome 17, which affects the ability of sperm to swim, was introduced to populations of mice. Males who carry one copy of this gene are infertile, while females are still fertile but only have one functioning version of the gene and can pass on either the functioning or non-functioning version to their offspring. In females that had a second edited chromosome that affected their fertility, they found that male offspring would all be infertile, while only 50 percent of female offspring would be fertile. They found that 250 mice with modified genes could eradicate a population of 200,000 mice on an island in around 20 years. “The use of t-CRISPR technology provides a humane approach to controlling invasive mice without the release of toxins into the environment. We are also working on strategies to prevent failed eradication due to the emergence of gene drive resistance in the target population,” Gierus said. While t-CRISPR has been developed to specifically target mice, CSIRO Group Leader for Environmental Mitigation and Resilience Dr Owain Edwards said it could be developed to use on other invasive animals. The researchers, who collaborated with CSIRO, the Centre for Invasive Species Solutions, the Genetic Biocontrol for Invasive Rodents (GBIRd) consortium and the US Department of Agriculture, were supported by both the South Australian and NSW governments. “These promising findings demonstrate how gene drive technology may be a game changer in managing the impacts of mice on our environment, community, and agricultural sector,” South Australian Deputy Premier Dr Susan Close said. “This cutting-edge research also highlights the global leadership of the South Australian research sector, in finding solutions to social, environmental and economic challenges. “The South Australian Government is proud to have supported this proof-of-concept, having granted the University of Adelaide $1 million through the Research and Innovation Fund.” They published their findings in the journal <a href="https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.2213308119" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences</a>. Image: ABC News

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This new tech could spell end for mouse plagues