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"You made me enjoy the game": Federer's emotional retirement letter to Nadal

Roger Federer has penned an emotional tribute to Rafael Nadal ahead of his retirement, reflecting on their stellar careers together. Nadal’s career officially came to an end when Spain was defeated 2-1 by the Netherlands in the Davis Cup quarter-final in Malaga on Wednesday morning, with Nadal in tears as he stepped onto the court for the final time. Thousands of tributes poured in for Nadal as his retirement officially began, but Federer's tribute quickly went viral for his emotional words. “As you get ready to graduate from tennis, I’ve got a few things to share before I maybe get emotional,” Federer said. “Let’s start with the obvious: you beat me - a lot. More than I managed to beat you. You challenged me in ways no one else could. On clay, it felt like I was stepping into your backyard, and you made me work harder than I ever thought I could just to hold my ground." “You made me reimagine my game - even going so far as to change the size of my racquet head, hoping for any edge. I’m not a very superstitious person, but you took it to the next level. Your whole process. All those rituals." “Assembling your water bottles like toy soldiers in formation, fixing your hair, adjusting your underwear … All of it with the highest intensity. Secretly, I kind of loved the whole thing. Because it was so unique - it was so you." “And you know what, Rafa, you made me enjoy the game even more. OK, maybe not at first. After the 2004 Australian Open, I achieved the No. 1 ranking for the first time. I thought I was on top of the world. And I was - until two months later, when you walked on the court in Miami in your red sleeveless shirt, showing off those biceps, and you beat me convincingly." "All that buzz I’d been hearing about you - about this amazing young player from Mallorca, a generational talent, probably going to win a major someday - it wasn’t just hype." “We were both at the start of our journey and it’s one we ended up taking together. Twenty years later, Rafa, I have to say: What an incredible run you’ve had. Including 14 French Opens - historic! You made Spain proud … you made the whole tennis world proud." “And then there was London – the Laver Cup in 2022. My final match. It meant everything to me that you were there by my side – not as my rival but as my doubles partner." “Sharing the court with you that night, and sharing those tears, will forever be one of the most special moments of my career.” Federer signed off the 585-word tribute from “your fan Roger”. Image credits: ANDY RAIN/EPA-EFE/Shutterstock Editorial

Retirement Life

Readers response: What was the worst hotel experience you had?

We asked our readers to share their stories of the worst hotel experience that have endured while on holiday, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. Deedee Cullum - At a 5 star in Beijing. Arrived from the airport after 1am. Let into the room to find it occupied with someone having a bath. Instead of changing our room we waited in the lobby for 1 and 1/2 hours while they changed to the correct room and cleaned ours. The wet towels were neatly folded on the towel rack and the used soap was on the basin. When I turned the bedside light on I got a shock. To be fair management were most apologetic and gave us free dining in their top restaurant for the 4 days we were there. It was a few years ago but never forgotten. Bruce Hopkins - I stopped at a Hotel in Hobart, arrived in the afternoon, checked out the next day, the whole time I stopped there, I never saw anyone on reception or any staff at all. Creepiest hotel I stayed in. Carol Henwood - When we went to have a shower, and the towels disintegrated! The shower had black mould in all the corners. The carpet was so sticky, we kept our shoes on. We slept on top of the bed as the sheets were crumpled and smelly. What a night. Sheila Kell - When my eldest son was about 2 years old we took a holiday to Shute Harbour in QLD and in middle of night we heard lots of scratching so turned on light and sat up in bed and there were hundreds of field mice crawling up walls and back of bed. They apparently were having a plague, but we dressed and left. Couldn't sleep in that motel. Christine Warner - A country pub only option one night. Our room has no lock on the door, and there were gaps in the floorboards so we could see straight down to the bar where it was very noisy. We had already been warned of people breaking in to hotel and motel rooms in that region, so we slept in the car and returned to the room in the morning for a shower. Helen Wilson - In Singapore, they gave us a “free” breakfast while someone rummaged through our belongings and took stuff. Image credits: Shutterstock

Travel Trouble

Readers response: What’s the best advice you’ve received on staying healthy as you age?

We asked our readers what the best advice they’ve received on staying healthy as you age is, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. Fred Pilcher - Don't smoke. That's the most important advice you're likely to get. If you do smoke, quit now. Today. I've lost parents and friends to lung cancer and emphysema - both terrible ways to go. (I say this as a former two pack a day addict.) Kate Caddey - Stay as fit as you can. Walk, do the stretch, balance and dance offerings. Travel the slightly harder way with ups and downs included. Stay curious about people you meet and about everything in general. Never stop learning. Marie Jones - Keep laughing. Gloria Hickey - Keep active, but wish I had been told to have my B12 added to yearly blood work too. Peter Connolly - Best advice I got was "Whatever you do, go out with a bang. There is absolutely no point in lying in bed in a hospital, dying of nothing!" Terry Dolman - Enjoy being happy. It takes more energy to be grumpy than smile. Plus, a good Friend in Vietnam now said "don't carry the past plus a drink of whisky a day." Heather Dixon - Keep busy. Lydia Poli - Enjoy the ride while you can! Marlene Cochrane - Don't stop moving. Both physically and mentally. Karen Ambrose - Keep dancing! Image credits: Shutterstock

Body

Dwayne Johnson's emotional moment with cancer-stricken fan

A heartfelt moment between Hollywood actor Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson and a fan battling stage 4 cancer has gone viral. While on a trip to Target in New Jersey, Johnson met a woman who shared candidly that she was facing stage 4 pancreatic cancer. Johnson greeted her warmly in the shop, “Good to see you, how are you feeling?” With a smile, the woman replied: “Stage 4 pancreatic cancer. Can’t do anything about it.” Johnson then offered to take a photo with her, to which she responded, “I would love to.” As they posed together, the woman proudly declared, “I’m a warrior,” prompting Johnson to affirm, “You are a warrior,” before the woman joked that they looked alike since they both had no hair. Before he parted, she told Johnson: “We gotta keep fighting, fight fight fight.” <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/DCTEM7ixvm1/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/DCTEM7ixvm1/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Dwayne Johnson (@therock)</a> </div> </blockquote> The Rock then posted a video of the sweet moment to his Instagram, reflecting on the moment with the caption, "As frenzied, and chaotic as all this was - it hit me here just how unpredictable, yet beautiful life truly is." The video quickly racked up hundreds of thousands of likes, with many commenting words of support for the fan. "The Rock is the most humble guy ever," one person wrote, while another added, "You made that woman's day!" Image credits: Instagram

Caring

How to complain about aged care and get the result you want

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jacqueline-wesson-1331752">Jacqueline Wesson</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lee-fay-low-98311">Lee-Fay Low</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> It can be hard to know what to say, or who to talk to, if you notice something isn’t right for you or a loved one in residential aged care. You might have concerns about personal or medical care, being adequately consulted about changes to care, or be concerned about charges on the latest bill. You could also be concerned about theft, neglect or abuse. Here’s how you can raise issues with the relevant person or authority to improve care and support for you or your loved one. <h2>Keep records</h2> You can complain about any aspect of care or service. For instance, if medical care, day-to-day support or financial matters do not meet your needs or expectations, you can complain. It is best to act as soon as you notice something isn’t right. This may prevent things from escalating. Good communication helps get better results. Make written notes about what happened, including times and dates, and take photos. Try to focus on facts and events. You can also keep a record of who was involved and their role. Keep track of how the provider responded or steps taken to resolve the issue. Write notes of conversations and keep copies of emails. <h2>Who do I complain to?</h2> Potential criminal matters If you have concerns about immediate, serious harm of a criminal nature then you should contact the police, and your provider immediately. These types of serious incidents include unreasonable use of force or other serious abuse or neglect, unlawful sexual contact, stealing or unexpected death. The provider may have already contacted you about this. They are required to report such <a href="https://www.agedcarequality.gov.au/consumers/serious-incident-response-scheme">serious incidents</a> to both the Aged Care Quality and Safety Commission within 24 hours, and to the police. Other matters For other matters, talk to the care staff involved. Try to find out more detail about what happened and why things went wrong. Think about what you expect in the situation. Then talk to the most senior person in charge, to see if they can make changes so things don’t go wrong in the future. This person may be called the nursing unit manager, care manager or care director. Providers must acknowledge and investigate your complaint, tell you their findings and actions taken, and follow up to see if you are satisfied. If you would like support to talk to the provider, the <a href="https://opan.org.au">Older Persons Advocacy Network</a> can help. This free service provides independent and confidential support to help find solutions with the aged-care provider. The network can also help you lodge a formal complaint. <h2>How to I lodge a formal complaint?</h2> If you are not satisfied with the way your provider responded, you can lodge a complaint with the <a href="https://www.agedcarequality.gov.au">Aged Care Quality and Safety Commission</a>. Be prepared to submit the facts and events, plus emails and correspondence, you have already collected. Think about what you want to happen to resolve the complaint. Each complaint is handled individually and prioritised depending on the risks to you or your loved one. The commission will start its processes within one business day when complaints are urgent. The resolution process took <a href="https://www.agedcarequality.gov.au/sites/default/files/media/acqsc-annual-report-2020-21.pdf">an average 40 days</a> in 2020-21. You can complain confidentially, or anonymously if you feel safer. But the commission may not be able to investigate fully if it’s anonymous. Also, there are limits to what the commission can do. It cannot ask providers to terminate someone’s employment, or provide direct clinical advice about treatment. Sometimes the commission has issued a “non-compliance” notice to the provider (for a failure to meet quality standards), and action may again <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-05-02/aged-care-complaint-about-southern-cross-care-young/101009716">be limited</a>. So it is a good idea to check the <a href="https://www.myagedcare.gov.au/non-compliance-checker">non-compliance register</a> beforehand to see if your provider is listed. <h2>What do others complain about?</h2> From October to December 2021, <a href="https://www.agedcarequality.gov.au/sites/default/files/media/acqs-sector-performance-data-oct-dec-2021.pdf">about a third</a> of Australian nursing homes had a complaint made to the commission against them. Some had more than one complaint. More than half of these complaints were lodged by family, friends or other consumers. The top reasons for complaints were about: <ul> <li> adequacy of staffing </li> <li> medication administration or management </li> <li> infectious diseases or infection control </li> <li> personal and oral hygiene </li> <li> how falls are prevented and managed </li> <li> consultation or communication with representatives and/or family members. </li> </ul> <h2>What if I’m still not happy?</h2> If you’re not happy when you receive the commission’s outcome, you can request a review with 42 days. You can also request the <a href="https://www.ombudsman.gov.au">Commonwealth Ombudsman</a> to review the complaint if you’re not satisfied with the commission’s decision or the way the commission handled your complaint. <h2>Remember, you have a right to complain</h2> The <a href="https://agedcare.royalcommission.gov.au">Aged Care Royal Commission</a> spotlighted the neglect and substandard care that can occur in nursing homes. Despite attempts to <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/resources/publications/concepts-for-a-new-framework-for-regulating-aged-care">lift the standard of aged care</a>, we know residents and carers still have concerns. Residents, and their representatives or families, have a legal <a href="https://www.agedcarequality.gov.au/consumers/standards/resources">right to speak up and complain</a>, free from reprisal or negative consequences. This right is also reflected in the <a href="https://www.agedcarequality.gov.au/consumers/consumer-rights">Charter of Aged Care Rights</a>, which providers are legally required to discuss with you and help you understand. <h2>Moving to another facility</h2> If you have exhausted all avenues of complaint or feel conditions have not improved, you may decide to move to another provider or facility, if available. This option may not be possible in rural areas. This is a difficult decision. It takes time, as well as financial and emotional resources. Starting again with a new provider can also be disruptive for everyone, but sometimes it may be the right choice. <hr /> Contact the <a href="https://opan.org.au">Older Persons Advocacy Network</a> on 1800 700 600, the <a href="https://www.agedcarequality.gov.au">Aged Care Quality and Safety Commission</a> on 1800 951 822 or the <a href="https://www.ombudsman.gov.au">Commonwealth Ombudsman</a> on 1300 362 072.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/180036/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jacqueline-wesson-1331752">Jacqueline Wesson</a>, Senior Lecturer (Teaching and Research), Discipline of Occupational Therapy, School of Health Sciences, Faculty of Medicine and Health, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lee-fay-low-98311">Lee-Fay Low</a>, Professor in Ageing and Health, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-complain-about-aged-care-and-get-the-result-you-want-180036">original article</a>.

Retirement Life

Readers response: What advice would you give someone visiting Australia?

We asked our readers what advice they would give to someone travelling to Australia, including where tourists need to see and what hidden gems cannot be missed. Here's what they said. Peggy Rice - Respect our rules, the outback needs to be researched, swim between flags, don't swim with crocodiles. It's the best country in the world, let's keep it that way. Also do yourself a favour and put Tasmania on your list of beauty. Kay L Bayly - Number 1 advice! Check distances between desired destinations. It is a much bigger country than most people understand. Michael Pender - Bring a sense of humour. Toni Stewart - You will need a year at least to see all the different areas from desert, scrub, rainforest, cities, beaches, country side fabulous little towns and lots of festivals. Maureen Prince - We don’t have Kangaroos running the streets. Koalas are not in everybody's back yard trees. Whilst we do have snakes you’d be very unfortunate if you were to come across a venomous one. We don’t all go around saying “Good day mate”. Our scenery is incredible. Our food is superb and, best of all, we have good friends who do say “Good day mate”. Tina Shaw - Leave preconceptions at customs. See who we are and you'll have a fantastic time. Dianne Savage - Put Tasmania on your must do list. Margaret Higgs - Use sunscreen, wear a hat, drink lots of fluids. Cheryl Anne - Don't assume you can cover the whole country in 6 weeks. Sarah Hayse-Gregson - Obey the beach culture. The flags, lifesavers are there for a reason. If a sign says, “beach closed” there’s no one to assist you if you get into difficulty. Our lifesavers are volunteers, don’t forget that. They give up their free time to monitor the beaches and are highly trained. Never turn your back to the sea. Ann Lusby - Watch out for drop bears. Image credits: Shutterstock

Domestic Travel

Your friend has been diagnosed with cancer. Here are 6 things you can do to support them

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/stephanie-cowdery-2217734">Stephanie Cowdery</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/anna-ugalde-2232654">Anna Ugalde</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/trish-livingston-163686">Trish Livingston</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/victoria-white-1888110">Victoria White</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a> Across the world, <a href="https://www.who.int/news/item/01-02-2024-global-cancer-burden-growing--amidst-mounting-need-for-services">one in five</a> people are diagnosed with cancer during their lifetime. By age 85, almost <a href="https://www.cancer.org.au/cancer-information/what-is-cancer/facts-and-figures">one in two</a> Australians will be diagnosed with cancer. When it happens to someone you care about, it can be hard to know what to say or how to help them. But providing the right support to a friend can make all the difference as they face the emotional and physical challenges of a new diagnosis and treatment. Here are six ways to offer meaningful support to a friend who has been diagnosed with cancer. <h2>1. Recognise and respond to emotions</h2> When facing a cancer diagnosis and treatment, it’s normal to experience a range of <a href="https://www.canceraustralia.gov.au/impacted-by-cancer/emotions#:%7E:text=It's%20likely%20that%20feelings%20will,these%20feelings%20ease%20with%20time">emotions</a> including fear, anger, grief and sadness. Your friend’s moods may fluctuate. It is also common for feelings to <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00520-014-2492-9">change over time</a>, for example your friend’s anxiety may decrease, but they may feel more depressed. Some friends may want to share details while others will prefer privacy. Always ask permission to raise sensitive topics (such as changes in physical appearance or their thoughts regarding fears and anxiety) and don’t make assumptions. It’s OK to tell them you feel awkward, as this acknowledges the challenging situation they are facing. When they feel comfortable to talk, follow their lead. Your support and willingness <a href="https://www.cancervic.org.au/get-support/stories/what-to-say-and-not-say.html">to listen without judgement</a> can provide great comfort. You don’t have to have the answers. Simply acknowledging what has been said, providing your full attention and being present for them will be a great help. <h2>2. Understand their diagnosis and treatment</h2> <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/pon.4722">Understanding</a> your friend’s diagnosis and what they’ll go through when being <a href="https://www.cancer.org/cancer/caregivers/what-a-caregiver-does/treatment-timeline.html">treated</a> may be helpful. Being informed can reduce your own worry. It may also help you to listen better and reduce the amount of explaining your friend has to do, especially when they’re tired or overwhelmed. Explore reputable sources such as the <a href="https://www.cancer.org.au/">Cancer Council website</a> for accurate information, so you can have meaningful conversations. But keep in mind your friend has a trusted medical team to offer personalised and accurate advice. <h2>3. Check in regularly</h2> Cancer treatment can be isolating, so regular check-ins, texts, calls or visits can help your friend feel less alone. Having a normal conversation and sharing a joke can be very welcome. But everyone copes with cancer differently. Be patient and flexible in your support – some days will be harder for them than others. Remembering key dates – such as the next round of chemotherapy – can help your friend feel supported. Celebrating milestones, including the end of treatment or anniversary dates, may boost morale and remind your friend of positive moments in their cancer journey. Always ask if it’s a good time to visit, as your friend’s immune system <a href="https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/what-is-cancer/body-systems-and-cancer/the-immune-system-and-cancer#:%7E:text=to%20fight%20cancer-,Cancer%20and%20treatments%20may%20weaken%20immunity,high%20dose%20of%20steroids">may be compromised</a> by their cancer or treatments such as chemotherapy or radiotherapy. If you’re feeling unwell, it’s best to postpone visits – but they may still appreciate a call or text. <h2>4. Offer practical support</h2> Sometimes the best way to show your care is through practical support. There may be different ways to offer help, and what your friend needs might change at the beginning, during and after treatment. For example, you could offer to pick up prescriptions, drive them to appointments so they have transport and company to debrief, or wait with them at appointments. Meals will always be welcome. However it’s important to remember cancer and its treatments may <a href="https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/treatment/side-effects/nutrition#effects-of-cancer-treatment-on-nutrition">affect</a> taste, smell and appetite, as well as your friend’s ability to eat enough or absorb nutrients. You may want to check first if there are particular foods they like. <a href="https://www.cancervic.org.au/downloads/resources/booklets/nutrition-cancer.pdf">Good nutrition</a> can help boost their strength while dealing with the side effects of treatment. There may also be family responsibilities you can help with, for example, babysitting kids, grocery shopping or taking care of pets. <h2>5. Explore supports together</h2> Studies <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35834503/">have shown</a> mindfulness practices can be an effective way for people to manage anxiety associated with a cancer diagnosis and its treatment. If this is something your friend is interested in, it may be enjoyable to explore classes (either online or in-person) together. You may also be able to help your friend connect with organisations that provide emotional and practical help, such as the Cancer Council’s <a href="https://www.cancer.org.au/support-and-services/cancer-council-13-11-20">support line</a>, which offers free, confidential information and support for anyone affected by cancer, including family, friends and carers. <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/5659099_Systematic_review_of_peer-support_programs_for_people_with_cancer">Peer support groups</a> can also reduce your friend’s feelings of isolation and foster shared understanding and empathy with people who’ve gone through a similar experience. GPs <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34333571/">can help</a> with referrals to support programs. <h2>6. Stick with them</h2> Be committed. Many people feel <a href="https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11120751/">isolated</a> after their treatment. This may be because regular appointments have reduced or stopped – which can feel like losing a safety net – or because their relationships with others have changed. Your friend may also experience emotions such as worry, lack of confidence and uncertainty as they adjust to a <a href="https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/coping/survivorship/new-normal">new way of living</a> after their treatment has ended. This will be an important time to support your friend. But don’t forget: looking after <a href="https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/caring-for-someone-with-cancer">yourself</a> is important too. Making sure you eat well, sleep, exercise and have emotional support will help steady you through what may be a challenging time for you, as well as the friend you love. <a href="https://www.deakin.edu.au/faculty-of-health/research/cancer-carer-hub">Our research</a> team is developing new programs and resources to support carers of people who live with cancer. While it can be a challenging experience, it can also be immensely rewarding, and your small acts of kindness can make a big difference.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/239844/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/stephanie-cowdery-2217734">Stephanie Cowdery</a>, Research Fellow, Carer Hub: A Centre of Excellence in Cancer Carer Research, Translation and Impact, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/anna-ugalde-2232654">Anna Ugalde</a>, Associate Professor & Victorian Cancer Agency Fellow, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/trish-livingston-163686">Trish Livingston</a>, Distinguished Professor & Director of Special Projects, Faculty of Health, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/victoria-white-1888110">Victoria White</a>, Professor of Pyscho-Oncology, School of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/your-friend-has-been-diagnosed-with-cancer-here-are-6-things-you-can-do-to-support-them-239844">original article</a>.

Caring

Can you die from long COVID? The answer is not so simple

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rose-shiqi-luo-1477061">Rose (Shiqi) Luo</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/catherine-itsiopoulos-14246">Catherine Itsiopoulos</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kate-anderson-1412897">Kate Anderson</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/magdalena-plebanski-1063786">Magdalena Plebanski</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/zhen-zheng-1321031">Zhen Zheng</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a> Nearly five years into the pandemic, COVID is feeling less central to our daily lives. But the virus, SARS-CoV-2, is still around, and for many people the effects of an infection can be long-lasting. When symptoms persist for more than three months after the initial COVID infection, this is generally referred to as <a href="https://www.who.int/europe/news-room/fact-sheets/item/post-covid-19-condition">long COVID</a>. In September, Grammy-winning Brazilian musician <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-09-07/brazilian-musician-sergio-mendez-dies-at-83/104323360">Sérgio Mendes</a> died aged 83 after reportedly having long COVID. <a href="https://www.abs.gov.au/articles/covid-19-mortality-australia-deaths-registered-until-31-july-2023">Australian data</a> show 196 deaths were due to the long-term effects of COVID from the beginning of the pandemic up to the end of July 2023. In the United States, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported 3,544 <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/pressroom/nchs_press_releases/2022/20221214.htm">long-COVID-related deaths</a> from the start of the pandemic up to the end of June 2022. The symptoms of <a href="https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/long-covid">long COVID</a> – such as fatigue, shortness of breath and “brain fog” – can be debilitating. But can you die from long COVID? The answer is not so simple. <h2>How could long COVID lead to death?</h2> There’s still a lot we don’t understand about what causes long COVID. A popular theory is that “zombie” <a href="https://www.pnas.org/doi/full/10.1073/pnas.2300644120">virus fragments</a> may linger in the body and cause inflammation even after the virus has gone, resulting in long-term health problems. Recent research suggests a reservoir of <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1198743X24004324?via%3Dihub">SARS-CoV-2 proteins</a> in the blood might explain why some people experience ongoing symptoms. We know a serious COVID infection can damage <a href="https://covid19.nih.gov/news-and-stories/long-term-effects-sars-cov-2-organs-and-energy#:%7E:text=What%20you%20need%20to%20know,main%20source%20of%20this%20damage">multiple organs</a>. For example, severe COVID can lead to <a href="https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/coronavirus/covid-long-haulers-long-term-effects-of-covid19">permanent lung dysfunction</a>, persistent heart inflammation, neurological damage and long-term kidney disease. These issues can in some cases lead to death, either immediately or months or years down the track. But is death beyond the acute phase of infection from one of these causes the direct result of COVID, long COVID, or something else? Whether long COVID can directly cause death continues to be a topic of debate. Of the <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/vsrr/vsrr025.pdf">3,544 deaths</a> related to long COVID in the US up to June 2022, the most commonly recorded underlying cause was COVID itself (67.5%). This could mean they died as a result of one of the long-term effects of a COVID infection, such as those mentioned above. COVID infection was followed by heart disease (8.6%), cancer (2.9%), Alzheimer’s disease (2.7%), lung disease (2.5%), diabetes (2%) and stroke (1.8%). Adults aged 75–84 had the highest rate of death related to long COVID (28.8%). These findings suggest many of these people died “with” long COVID, rather than from the condition. In other words, long COVID may not be a direct driver of death, but rather a contributor, likely exacerbating existing conditions. <h2>‘Cause of death’ is difficult to define</h2> Long COVID is a relatively recent phenomenon, so mortality data for people with this condition are limited. However, we can draw some insights from the experiences of people with post-viral conditions that have been studied for longer, such as myalgic encephalomyelitis or chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS). Like long COVID, <a href="https://bmjopen.bmj.com/content/12/5/e058128">ME/CFS</a> is a complex condition which can have significant and varied effects on a person’s physical fitness, nutritional status, social engagement, mental health and quality of life. Some research indicates people with ME/CFS are at <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5218818/">increased risk</a> of dying from causes including heart conditions, infections and suicide, that may be triggered or compounded by the debilitating nature of the syndrome. So what is the emerging data on long COVID telling us about the potential increased risk of death? Research from 2023 has suggested adults in the US with long COVID were at <a href="https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama-health-forum/fullarticle/2802095">greater risk</a> of developing heart disease, stroke, lung disease and asthma. Research has also found <a href="https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9721155/">long COVID</a> is associated with a higher risk of <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/21642850.2022.2164498#abstract">suicidal ideation</a> (thinking about or planning suicide). This may reflect common symptoms and consequences of long COVID such as sleep problems, fatigue, chronic pain and emotional distress. But long COVID is more likely to occur in people who have <a href="https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/covid-19/long-covid-in-australia-a-review-of-the-literature/summary">existing health conditions</a>. This makes it challenging to accurately determine how much long COVID contributes to a person’s death. Research has long revealed <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7302107/">reliability issues</a> in cause-of-death reporting, particularly for people with chronic illness. <h2>So what can we conclude?</h2> Ultimately, long COVID is a <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/topics/chronic-conditions/about-chronic-conditions">chronic condition</a> that can significantly affect quality of life, mental wellbeing and overall health. While long COVID is not usually immediately or directly life-threatening, it’s possible it could exacerbate existing conditions, and play a role in a person’s death in this way. Importantly, many people with long COVID around the world lack access to appropriate support. We need to develop <a href="https://www.mja.com.au/journal/2024/221/9/persistent-symptoms-after-covid-19-australian-stratified-random-health-survey">models of care</a> for the optimal management of people with long COVID with a focus on multidisciplinary care. Dr Natalie Jovanovski, Vice Chancellor’s Senior Research Fellow in the School of Health and Biomedical Sciences at RMIT University, contributed to this article.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/239184/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rose-shiqi-luo-1477061">Rose (Shiqi) Luo</a>, Postdoctoral Research Fellow, School of Health and Biomedical Sciences, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/catherine-itsiopoulos-14246">Catherine Itsiopoulos</a>, Professor and Dean, School of Health and Biomedical Sciences, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kate-anderson-1412897">Kate Anderson</a>, Vice Chancellor's Senior Research Fellow, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/magdalena-plebanski-1063786">Magdalena Plebanski</a>, Professor of Immunology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/zhen-zheng-1321031">Zhen Zheng</a>, Associate Professor, STEM | Health and Biomedical Sciences, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/can-you-die-from-long-covid-the-answer-is-not-so-simple-239184">original article</a>.

Body

Readers response: What piece of travel memorabilia brings back the best memories for you?

When we travel, many of us love to pick up a souvenir to remind us of our holidays and the destinations we loved. We asked our readers what piece of travel memorabilia brings back the best memories, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. Jan Hall - Christmas Decorations! Then when I put my tree up it’s like a trip down memory lane, first one was 1973 from Singapore our first overseas holiday. Debra Stone - A letter opener with a Paua shell on the handle. New Zealand wouldn't let us take it in our luggage, so we posted it home to ourselves! Becky Murfet - In 1984 we went to Europe and I collected match boxes from different countries. Have them in a large glass bowl. Great to look at for memories sake. Caron Castner - Stines from Germany. Margie Buckingham - A palm-sided wooden carved elephant from a side trip off my cruise from Singapore to Malaysia & Thailand and back to celebrate my 40th. It sits on my mantelpiece so to deliberately trigger good memories of a younger me. Frank Nieuwenhuis - 2300 year old oil lamp bought in Israel. Fay Russell - Turkish tea set. Valma Blake - Of all the things I've bought on my travels, my favourite is my cat ornament collection that are decorated relative to the country or area I visited. Image credits: Shutterstock

International Travel

Never-before-seen party photo of Kate Middleton surfaces

A previously unseen photo of Kate Middleton has been posted to social media by one of her old university friends. Laura Warshaur - who was in the same halls as the royal - shared the photo to <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C9lQ1A0P2QQ/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Instagram</a> and reminisced their "lovely" college years together at St Andrews. She captioned the photo: “Sending love to Kate Middleton, the future Queen of England and my university dormmate! “This was us at a Hope Street flat party. I have the loveliest college memories with Kate. “She is the kindest, most caring, down-to-earth, genuine person, and it’s incredible to see her shining so brightly and inspiring the world with her compassion and courage.” The Princess of Wales was snapped wearing a cream turtleneck jumper with minimal makeup and her natural curls flowing. The picture taken at a flat party on Hope Street, was also where the Prince and Princess of Wales lived in their second year, according to The Sun. In the photo the Princess and Laura smiled for the camera as they held up brownie bites. Laura shared the photo on her Instagram a while back to show support for the Princess of Wales as she continued her cancer treatment. The image caught the attention of royal fans this week, who took to comments to share their delight. “Neither of you has changed much, so gorgeous. So happy to see her out and about again with that big smile,” commented one user. “How sweet your tribute to her back when she was diagnosed. And how beautiful you both are in this picture," added another. “No way, most unexpected duo EVER," commented a third. Laura, who has since lost touch with the royal couple, previously revealed that all their friends rooted for the royal couple and believed that they would end up together. Image: Instagram

Beauty & Style

No more Mr Nice Guy: Tom Hanks blows up at movie critics

Tom Hanks has taken aim at movie critics in a heated on Conan O'Brien's podcast, calling out the entire review section of the entertainment industry. The Hollywood actor launched into his tirade on the Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend podcast as he looked at how movie reviews and the general audience reception to films has changed over the years. “Now what happened is that time has become one of the metrics for how these things matter, right?” he said. “In the day it was just a fist fight. It was every movie you came out, are you going to make the playoffs or not? Guess what? No, kid, you’re 2 and 12 and you ain’t going nowhere. Or, you got a shot.” “It used to be you had these Rubicons that you crossed,” he continued. “First of all, do you love it or not? That’s the first thing. Yes, okay, you have crossed the Rubicon, right? The next Rubicon you cross is when the movie is completely done a year and a half later, and you see it for the first time, and you might like it. It doesn’t matter if it works or not, you look at it and say, ‘Hey, I think we acquitted ourselves pretty good.’ That’s Rubicon No. 2.” Hanks went on, “Then the critics weigh in, that’s Rubicon No. 3, and that’s always up down. ‘We hate it, we like it. This is the worst thing … Oh hey, oh hi Tom, I saw you in a movie. It was cute.’” “That’s when you ask the wife, ‘Hey, honey, could you take the revolver out of the glove box and hide it somewhere, because I think…,” Hanks joked. Podcast host O'Brien then brought up that Hanks was initially “disappointed” with his 1996 film That Thing You Do!, which marked his directorial debut, but the movie has since become a cult classic in pop culture. “Let me tell you something about these c***suckers who write about movies,” Hanks responded, before asking O’Brien and his co-hosts, “Can I say that?” “Somebody who wrote about it is, ‘Tom Hanks has to stop hanging around with veterans of TV, because this is just like the shot on TV and it’s not much of anything,’” Hanks recalled. “That same person then wrote about the cult classic That Thing You Do! Same exact person. They said, ‘All you need is 20 years between now and then, and it ends up speaking some words.’” Image credits: Shutterstock

Movies

Readers response: What’s the best book you’ve read recently, and what did you love about it?

With hundreds of new books on the market, it's hard to know what are the best to recommend. We asked our readers what the best book they've read recently is and what did they love about it, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. Helen Ulgekutt - The Venice Hotel by Tess Woods, loved it start to finish. Zoy Crizzle - The Little Paris Bookshop by Nina George. Great book, so easy to read and an interesting story line. I loved it. Keralie Stack - I have just finished Fallen Woman by Fiona McIntosh. A good read. Karen Peardon - The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife by Anna Johnston. A great story. Nola Schmidt - The Perfect Passion Company by Alexander McCall Smith. It was clever, witty, and gentle. June Lennie - People of the Book by Geraldine Brooks. Interesting story set in different historical periods. Brilliantly written and researched. Christine Hayes - Where the Crawdads Sing, just beautiful. Sandra Moores - All That's Left Unsaid by Tracey Lien. A great debut based in Cabramatta, very compelling read. Greg Cudmore - 'To Alpha From Omega'. Although very much Australian, its themes are universal. Denise Zephyr - The Days I Loved You Most. Such a beautiful story and a beautiful ending. Marie Chong - Minding Frankie by Maeve Binchy. I love all her books, she tells a good story. Yvonne Bercov - The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah, couldn’t put it down. Image credits: Shutterstock

Books

The most underrated Europe destinations to see in 2025

When travellers usually decide to head to Europe on their next holiday, they tend to stick to the capital cities and major tourist attractions. However, there is a lot to be said for going off the beaten track and exploring hidden gems. <a href="https://www.timeout.com/europe/travel/most-underrated-travel-destinations-europe">Time Out</a> has made your next European getaway even easier, compiling a list of the 21 most underrated destinations to put on your 2025 travel bucket list. The influential guide shared their arguments for exploring the lesser known corners of Europe, writing, “This summer saw a series of anti-tourism demonstrations in European hotspots, as locals reached breaking point with years of overtourism; Amsterdam is cracking down on new hotels, Venice is set to double its tourist tax in 2025.” “So there's never been a better time to think outside the box for your travels – especially when so many incredible European spots are getting overlooked.” “These destinations have got everything you want from your next holiday, with the added bonus of far fewer people jostling to see the same attractions.” Coming in at number one on the list is the hidden gem of Ulcinj in Montenegro, which is located at the southern tip of the country. According to the Time out guide, Ulcinj “provides a different vibe to the more celebrated spots up north. Ulcinj’s Old Town is arguably the most dramatically situated in the country, and its beaches provide excitement and serenity in equal measure.” Check out the entire list of 21 underrated European destinations below. 21. Ponza, Italy 20. Pamukkale, Turkey 19. Isles of Scilly, UK 18. Landes, France 17. Dordrecht, Netherlands 16. Imotski Lakes, Croatia 15. Banja Luka, Bosnia and Herzegovina 14. Vilnius, Lithuania 13. Faroe Islands 12. Extremadura, Spain 11. Tartu, Estonia 10. Emilia-Romagna, Italy 9. Cluj-Napoca, Romania 8. Bergen, Norway 7. Levi, Finnish Lapland 6. Plovdiv, Bulgaria 5. Vestmannaeyjar, Iceland 4. Gozo, Malta 3. Gerês, Portugal 2. Aarhus, Denmark 1. Ulcinj, Montenegro Image credits: Shutterstock

International Travel

Humans evolved to share beds – how your sleeping companions may affect you now

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/goffredina-spano-2240566">Goffredina Spanò</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/kingston-university-949">Kingston University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/gina-mason-2240569">Gina Mason</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/brown-university-1276">Brown University</a> <a href="https://www.cell.com/trends/ecology-evolution/fulltext/S0169-5347(24)00176-9">Recent research</a> on animal sleep behaviour has revealed that sleep is influenced by the animals around them. Olive baboons, for instance, sleep less as group sizes increase, while mice can synchronise their rapid eye movement (REM) cycles. In western society, many people expect to sleep alone, if not with a romantic partner. But as with other group-living animals, human co-sleeping is common, despite some <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1389945710000377">cultural</a> and <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2352721820303053?via%3Dihub">age-related variation</a>. And in many cultures, bedsharing with a relative is considered typical. Apart from <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1389945710000377">western countries</a>, caregiver-infant co-sleeping is common, with rates as high as <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1087079216000265">60-100%</a> in parts of South America, Asia and Africa. Despite its prevalence, infant co-sleeping is controversial. Some western perspectives, that value self-reliance, argue that sleeping alone promotes self-soothing when the baby wakes in the night. But <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00221325.2021.1905599">evolutionary scientists argue</a> that co-sleeping has been important to help keep infants warm and safe throughout human existence. <a href="https://www.sleephealthjournal.org/article/S2352-7218(22)00077-8/abstract">Many cultures</a> do not expect babies to self-soothe when they wake in the night and see night wakings as a normal part of breastfeeding <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1389945713002220?via%3Dihub">and development</a>. Concerns about Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (Sids) have often led paediatricians to discourage bed-sharing. However, when studies control for <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0107799">other Sids risk factors</a> including unsafe sleeping surfaces, Sids risk does not seem to differ statistically between co-sleeping and solitary sleeping infants. This may be one reason why agencies such as the <a href="https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/150/1/e2022057990/188304/Sleep-Related-Infant-Deaths-Updated-2022?autologincheck=redirected">American Academy of Pediatrics</a>, the <a href="https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/qs37/chapter/Quality-statement-5-Safer-practices-for-bed-sharing">National Institute for Health and Care Excellence</a> and the <a href="https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/caring-for-a-newborn/reduce-the-risk-of-sudden-infant-death-syndrome/">NHS</a> either <a href="https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/150/1/e2022057990/188304/Sleep-Related-Infant-Deaths-Updated-2022">recommend that</a> infants “sleep in the parents’ room, close to the parents’ bed, but on a separate surface,” or, if bedsharing, to make sure that the infant <a href="https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/qs37/chapter/Quality-statement-5-Safer-practices-for-bed-sharing">“sleeps on a firm, flat mattress”</a> without pillows and duvets, rather than discouraging co-sleeping altogether. Researchers don’t yet know whether co-sleeping causes differences in sleep or, whether co-sleeping happens because of these differences. However, experiments in the 1990s suggested that co-sleeping can <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/ajpa.20736">encourage more sustained and frequent bouts of breastfeeding</a>. Using sensors to measure brain activity, this research also suggested that infants’ and caregivers’ sleep may be lighter during co-sleeping. But researchers speculated that this lighter sleep may actually <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00221325.2021.1905599">help protect against Sids</a> by providing infants more opportunities to rouse from sleep and develop better control over their respiratory system. Other advocates believe that co-sleeping <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0163638319301237">benefits infants’ emotional and mental health</a> by promoting parent-child bonding and aiding infants’ <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.3109/10253890.2012.742057">stress hormone regulation</a>. However, current data is inconclusive, with most studies showing <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0163638319301249?via%3Dihub">mixed findings</a> or <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14616734.2024.2380427">no differences</a> between co-sleepers and solitary sleepers with respect to short and long-term mental health. <h2>Co-sleeping in childhood</h2> Childhood co-sleeping past infancy is also fairly common according to <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1389945713011076?via%3Dihub">worldwide surveys</a>. A <a href="https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article-abstract/126/5/e1119/65347/Relationship-Between-Bed-Sharing-and-Breastfeeding">2010 survey</a> of over 7,000 UK families found 6% of children were constant bedsharers up to at least four years old. Some families adopt co-sleeping <a href="https://capmh.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13034-023-00607-w">in response to</a> their child having trouble sleeping. But child-parent bedsharing in many countries, including some western countries <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1471-6712.2005.00358.x">like Sweden</a> where children often co-sleep with parents until school age, is viewed culturally as part of a nurturing environment. It is also common for siblings to share a room or even a bed. A <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00221325.2021.1916732">2021 US study</a> found that over 36% of young children aged three to five years bedshared in some form overnight, whether with caregivers, siblings, pets or some combination. Co-sleeping decreases but is still present among older children, with up to <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/fare.12955">13.8% of co-sleeping parents</a> in Australia, the UK and other countries reporting that their child was between five and 12 years old when they engaged in co-sleeping. Two recent US studies using wrist-worn actigraphs (motion sensors) to track sleep indicated that kids who bedshare may have <a href="https://jcsm.aasm.org/doi/10.5664/jcsm.11352">shorter sleep durations</a> than children who sleep alone. But this shorter sleep duration <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00221325.2021.1916732">is not explained by</a> greater disruption during sleep. Instead, bedsharing children may lose sleep by <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00221325.2021.1916732">going to bed later than</a> solitary sleepers. The benefits and downsides of co-sleeping may also differ in children with conditions such as <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1389945717303842">autism spectrum disorder</a>, <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10802-017-0387-1">mental health disorders</a> and <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/dmcn.13300">chronic illnesses</a>. These children may experience heightened anxiety, sensory sensitivities and physical discomfort that make falling and staying asleep difficult. For them, co-sleeping can provide <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11325-018-1710-y">reassurance</a>. <h2>Adults sharing beds</h2> According to <a href="https://www.sleepfoundation.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/NSF_Bedroom_Poll_Report_1.pdf">a 2018 survey</a> from the US National Sleep Foundation, 80-89% of adults who live with their significant other share a bed with them. Adult bedsharing has shifted over time from pre-industrial <a href="https://academic.oup.com/ahr/article-abstract/106/2/343/64370?redirectedFrom=fulltext">communal arrangements</a>, including whole families and other household guests, to <a href="https://academic.oup.com/jdh/article-abstract/23/3/275/359439?redirectedFrom=fulltext">solo sleeping</a> in response to hygiene concerns as germ theory became accepted. Many couples find that bedsharing boosts their <a href="https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC1978364/">sense of closeness</a>. Research shows that bedsharing with your partner can lead to <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1155/2017/8140672">longer sleep times</a> and a <a href="https://academic.oup.com/sleep/article-abstract/17/4/308/2753131">feeling of better sleep</a> overall. Bedsharing couples also often <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2020.00583/full">get into sync</a> with each other’s sleep stages, which can enhance that feeling of intimacy. However, it’s not all rosy. Some studies indicate that females in heterosexual relationships may struggle more with sleep quality when bedsharing, as they can be <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1111/j.1479-8425.2007.00320.x">more easily disturbed</a> by their male partner’s movements. Also, bedsharers can have less <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27624285/">deep sleep</a> than when sleeping alone, even though they feel like their sleep is better together. Many questions about co-sleeping remain unanswered. For instance, we don’t fully understand the developmental effects of co-sleeping on children, or the benefits of co-sleeping for adults beyond female-male romantic partners. But, some work suggests that co-sleeping can <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11325-018-1710-y">comfort us</a>, similar to other <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jsr.14174">forms of social contact</a>, and help to enhance <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/ajpa.20736">physical synchrony</a> between parents and children. Co-sleeping doesn’t have a one-size-fits-all answer. But remember that western norms aren’t necessarily the ones we have evolved with. So consider factors such as <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1389945716301265">sleep disorders</a>, health and age in your decision to co-sleep, rather than what everyone else is doing.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/241803/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/goffredina-spano-2240566">Goffredina Spanò</a>, Lecturer in Developmental Cognitive Neuroscience, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/kingston-university-949">Kingston University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/gina-mason-2240569">Gina Mason</a>, Postdoctoral Research Fellow in Psychiatry and Human Behaviour, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/brown-university-1276">Brown University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/humans-evolved-to-share-beds-how-your-sleeping-companions-may-affect-you-now-241803">original article</a>.

Body

Readers response: Have you ever seen or met a member of the royal family during one of their visits?

When the royal family make one of their special, dedicated visits to Australia, some royal fans are lucky enough to catch a glimpse, or even have an interaction with them. We asked our readers if they have ever seen or met a member of the royal family, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. Mike Rogerson - I saw the Queen and Prince Phillip on the Princes Highway at Blakehurst, NSW. They were on their way to Wollongong, NSW. We were a group of Blakehurst primary school children on the side of the road in 1954. I was eight at the time. Lorraine Strand - First saw the Queen when the country school kids travelled by train to Adelaide. Then again in Darwin, when she was visiting houses built after Cyclone Tracy. On a more recent visit by the royals, my husband and I attended the same St Paul’s Anglican Church Service in Canberra as the Queen and Prince Phillip. Annette Maree - I saw the Queen when she was driven past my house in the 1960’s. She was stunning. I clearly remember her wave, her smile, and her “peaches and cream” complexion. It was one of those flashbulb moments that stays in your mind forever. Glenda Grange - Yes in 1983 I saw Diana and Charles. They attended a royal command performance in Melbourne. I received a formal gilt edge invitation and was one person away from them. I was invited as a bush fire victim of Ash Wednesday. Elaine Smith - I haven’t but my mum and grandpa did, in 1954 when she came to our small country town of Red Cliffs, VIC. My grandpa and mum were on a special platform with aged residents of country towns, even got to shake hands with her. I was in the crowd with my girl guide group. Gary Johnson - 1970 when I was in first year high school we went to Perth airport to see Prince Phillip arrive. I had a school blazer on and Prince Phillip came over and asked what school I was from. If it wasn't for my mum forcing me to wear it, I wouldn't have that great memory. Janice Yvonne Colman - Not in Australia, but in the UK when they passed by our village on way to a county close by. My brother & I got the royal waves as we stood on the side of the road! We were quite thrilled as we were only 14 & 12 at the time. Jean Bryant - I saw Princess Margaret back in the 50's when she visited a British Air Force base in Germany. Ian Hewitt - Yes! At NSW Government house in 1992. It was an honour to us to personally meet their majesties. Image credits: Shutterstock

Domestic Travel

Readers response: What’s one thing you wish you had known before retiring?

When it comes time to retire, there are always things we wish we knew first before entering our golden years. We asked our readers what they wish they knew before retiring, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. Margaret Walsh - As long as you are fit and active, it's great. Just don't get crook or disabled, it sucks. Judi Bradshaw - I retired 9 times and kept going back to work as I didn't find myself ready to stop work, but finally retired at 73. Took awhile to adjust but now 75 and full time travellers, just loving life. Marcus von Moger - How good it was going to be. Chris Bailey - How boring it is, I’d go back to work in a heartbeat if I could. Ellen Fowler - That the government would keep changing the rules. Michael L Carrigg - Just how long it takes dealing with government departments that clearly are understaffed, especially in the front line service areas. Jim Burgess - Finding reasonably priced accommodation. Nicol Kyriakidou - That it would be so great! Having the whole day to yourself. Taking it easy, meeting friends, going shopping. Doing everything at your leisure. Gaye Johnson - You never get a day off!!! David Brown - How good it is. I should have retired 20 years earlier. Image credits: Shutterstock

Retirement Life

6 reasons why people enjoy horror movies

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/shane-rogers-575838">Shane Rogers</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/coltan-scrivner-1475716">Coltan Scrivner</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/arizona-state-university-730">Arizona State University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/shannon-muir-2237282">Shannon Muir</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a> The creeping shadows and haunting decorations transform the everyday into something eerie at Halloween. And you might be thinking about scaring yourself with a <a href="https://editorial.rottentomatoes.com/guide/best-horror-movies-of-all-time/">good horror movie</a>. Grotesque imagery, extreme violence, startling jump scares and menacing characters are common elements, making viewers feel fear, dread and disgust. We generally aim to avoid these <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1321053/full">negative emotions</a> in our everyday lives. So why would some people seek them out, and enjoy them, in horror movies? <h2>1. Fear can be thrilling</h2> There is lots of <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0149763423002063">overlap</a> between the emotions of fear and <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-024-53533-y">excitement</a>. In both, <a href="https://www.annualreviews.org/content/journals/10.1146/annurev.neuro.051508.135620">stress hormones</a> are released that can produce physical symptoms such as increased heart and breathing rates, sweating and muscle tension. People also feel <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/the-psychology-of-fear-2671696">more alert</a> and “on edge”. Research has <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02298/full">consistently shown</a> people with personalities that crave intense emotional experiences, including fear and excitement, tend to enjoy horror movies. But for more fearful people, the jump scares and violent scenes can be <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/oso/9780197535899.001.0001">too intense</a>. This can result in <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0956797620972116">coping behaviours</a> such as looking away or putting their hands over the ears, especially if they are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/ebs0000152">highly immersed</a> in the movie. Although, if they also happen to enjoy intense emotion, they may still enjoy the thrill of the ride. <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/llpsjbNQIns?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption>Movie makers work hard to get these ‘jump scares’ just right. And viewers enjoy the thrill.</figcaption></figure> <h2>2. There’s a sense of relief</h2> People may enjoy horror movies because of a <a href="https://osf.io/preprints/psyarxiv/7uh6f">sense of relief</a> after a <a href="https://www.the-scientist.com/ts-digest/issue/science-experiments-from-the-afterlife-24-14?utm_campaign=TS_TS%20Digest%202.0%20Promotion&utm_medium=email&_hsmi=329250194&utm_content=329250194&utm_source=hs_email#why-do-some-people-enjoy-horror-movies-72181">scary moment has passed</a>. Watching a horror movie can be a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, with distinct <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1053811920300094">peaks and troughs</a> of fear and relief over the course of the film. For example, in the <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1396484/">2017 movie It</a> the main protagonists survive a series of scary encounters with a demonic clown. The scary moments are separated by calmer scenes, prompting a rollercoaster of emotions. In the classic <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073195/">1975 movie Jaws</a>, viewers experience relief from the scary moments, only to be scared again and again. <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/yFXG5QQYOvg?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption>Jaws is a rollercoaster of emotions.</figcaption></figure> <h2>3. They satisfy our morbid curiosity</h2> Many horror movies feature supernatural themes and characters such as zombies, werewolves and vampires. So horror movies can help satiate a <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886921005183">morbid curiosity</a>. The violence, death, destruction and grotesque elements can provide curious people a safe space to explore things that are not safe (or socially appropriate) in the real world. <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ZbdMMI6ty0o?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption>Horror movies can help people satisfy their curiosity about death. But why are they curious in the first place?</figcaption></figure> <h2>4. We can work out our limits</h2> Horror movies can reflect our deepest fears and prompt introspection about our personal thresholds of fear and disgust. So some people may enjoy watching them to get a <a href="https://osf.io/preprints/psyarxiv/sdxe6">better understanding</a> of their own limits. Watching horror might also be a way to push personal boundaries to potentially become <a href="https://osf.io/preprints/psyarxiv/7uh6f">less fearful</a> or grossed out by things in real life. In a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2020.110397">study</a> one of us (Coltan) conducted, horror movie fans reported less psychological distress during the early months of the COVID pandemic compared with people not identifying as a horror movie fan. <h2>5. They can be social</h2> Some people say the <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/ebs0000152">social aspect</a> of watching horror movies with others is a big part of their appeal. Watching with others might help some people feel safer. Alternatively, this might help <a href="https://osf.io/preprints/psyarxiv/b8tgs">amplify</a> the emotional experience by <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0223259">feeding off the emotions</a> of people around them. Horror movies are also a common pick as a <a href="https://www.imdb.com/list/ls023286138/">date night</a> movie. Being <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.51.3.586">scared together</a> gives a good excuse to snuggle and take comfort in each other. <h2>6. They give us pleasure in other people’s misery</h2> Horror movies can provide the pleasurable emotion we feel when witnessing the misfortune of others, known as <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/neuroscience/schadenfreude">schadenfreude</a>. This occurs most when we feel the person experiencing misfortune deserves it. In many horror movies the characters that suffer a gruesome fate are only side characters. Much of the time these unfortunate souls are made out to be unlikeable and often make foolish choices before their grisly end. For example, in the 1996 teen witch movie <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0115963/">The Craft</a>, the character Chris Hooker is portrayed as being cruel to women. Then he dies by being blasted out of a window. Despite the grisly nature of horror movies, a <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2024-43893-001">study</a> by one of us (Coltan) found horror fans seem to have the same levels of empathy as anyone else. <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ZvLmyts6cEY?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption>In The Craft, viewers enjoy witnessing the misfortune of others, particularly if the character is a ‘baddy’.</figcaption></figure> <h2>What do I make of all this?</h2> Horror movies allow us to confront our deepest fears through the <a href="https://doi.org/10.1027/1864-1105/a000354">safety of make-believe</a>. People enjoy them for lots of different reasons. And the precise combination of reasons differs depending on the specific movie, and the person or people watching it. What is certain though, is the <a href="https://www.the-numbers.com/market/genres">increasing popularity</a> of horror movies, with <a href="https://editorial.rottentomatoes.com/guide/best-horror-movies-of-all-time/">many</a> to choose from.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/241480/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/shane-rogers-575838">Shane Rogers</a>, Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/coltan-scrivner-1475716">Coltan Scrivner</a>, Behavioral Scientist, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/arizona-state-university-730">Arizona State University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/shannon-muir-2237282">Shannon Muir</a>, Lecturer in psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/6-reasons-why-people-enjoy-horror-movies-241480">original article</a>.

Movies

Readers response: What celebrity do you think would make a great friend, and why?

When it comes to celebrities, everyone has their favourites, their crushes, and those they'd rather steer clear of. We asked our readers what celebrity they think they would be good friends with, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. Judy Yannopoulos - Keanu Reeves. A true honest person with a good heart. Jenny Maclean - Steven Fry. He’s honest and kind and so very intelligent. Jeff-Lyn Bloom - Tom Hanks. He is so down to earth. Doesn’t put on airs. Jan Totti - John Farnham, because he’s down to earth and there’s no pretences. He seems just a lovely honest person. He’s an amazing Australian singer. Caz McDougall - Michael Sheen and David Tennant. Karen Maberly - Judi Dench. Seems like a good communicator, sharp mind and full of fun, and not full of herself!! Cheryl Cunningham - Denzel Washington. Totally honest and decent human. Rhonda Moffitt - Maggie Beer. She treasures family & others. Always smiling, Maggie I think would be great company. Lisa Drury Hudson - Audrey Hepburn, for her compassion, strength, fighting for children's rights and empathy. What a loss. Bob Wilkinson - Hugh Jackson and Chris Hemsworth as they both seem like down to earth nice people. Image credits: Shutterstock

Relationships

Freddy Krueger at 40 – the ultimate horror movie monster (and Halloween costume)

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/adam-daniel-301018">Adam Daniel</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/western-sydney-university-1092">Western Sydney University</a> Movie monsters have captivated audiences since the days of early cinema. They evoke fascination and terror, allowing audiences to confront their fears from the safety of the movie theatre or living room. Arguably one of the most enduring and captivating of these monsters is Freddy Krueger, the villain of the <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087800/">A Nightmare on Elm Street</a> series who celebrates his 40th screen birthday this November. Memorably played by Robert Englund, Freddy quickly became a cultural icon of the 1980s and 1990s. Beyond his burned face and iconic bladed glove, Freddy’s dark humour and acidic personality set him apart from other silent, faceless killers of the era, such as Michael Myers in <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077651/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_2_tt_6_nm_0_in_0_q_halloween">Halloween</a> or Jason Vorhees in <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080761/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1">Friday the 13th</a>. Written and directed by horror maven <a href="https://theconversation.com/wes-craven-the-scream-of-our-times-46915">Wes Craven</a>, 1984’s A Nightmare on Elm Street garnered positive reviews for its innovative concept: Freddy stalked and attacked his victims in their dreams, making him inescapable and allowing him to tap into their deepest fears. The series (seven films plus a 2010 remake and <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0329101/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1">Freddy vs. Jason</a> spin offs) blended supernatural horror and surrealism with a dark and twisted sense of humour. <h2>Scary … but funny</h2> Humour was key to Freddy’s “popularity”. Both sinister and strangely charismatic, Freddy’s psychological torture of his adolescent victims often oscillated between terrifying and amusing. A famous kill scene from 1987’s <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093629/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1">A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors</a> demonstrates this paradox. Aspiring actress Jennifer drifts off to sleep while watching a talk show on TV. In her dream, the host of the talk show suddenly transforms into Freddy, who attacks his guest before the TV blinks out. When Jennifer timidly approaches the TV set, Freddy’s head and clawed hands emerge from the device, snatching her while delivering an iconic one-liner: “This is it, Jennifer – your big break in TV!” Freddy turns his victims’ fears or aspirations – their dreams – against them. <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/dCVh4lBfW-c?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption>‘Whatever you do, don’t fall asleep.’</figcaption></figure> <h2>Creating a monster</h2> Craven has shared how the character of Krueger came to life in <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1510985/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1">Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy</a>, an oral history of the series. He described a childhood experience of seeing a strange mumbling man walking past his childhood home. The man stopped, he said, and looked directly at him “with a sick sense of malice”. This deeply unsettling experience helped shape Freddy’s menacing presence. The character’s creation also emerged from the filmmaker’s interest in <a href="https://www.iflscience.com/nightmare-on-elm-street-was-inspired-by-a-real-life-medical-mystery-60527">numerous reports of Southeast Asian refugees dying in their sleep</a> after experiencing vivid nightmares. In the film, Krueger’s origin story reveals him as a child murderer who was apprehended but released due to a technicality in his arrest. Seeking justice, the parents of his victims take matters into their own hands, and form a vigilante mob. They corner him in his boiler room and burn him alive. But Freddy’s spirit survives to haunt and kill the children of his executioners. <h2>Cultural repression, expressed on film</h2> Film critic and essayist <a href="https://www.cineaste.com/summer2019/robin-wood-on-horror-film-collected-essays-and-reviews#:%7E:text=Freudian%20theory%2C%20a%20crucial%20theoretical,the%20horror%20film%20perpetually%20enacts.">Robin Wood argued</a> horror films often bring to the surface elements society has repressed. These fears, desires, or cultural taboos are not openly acknowledged. But movie monsters act as manifestations of what society suppresses, such as sexuality, violence or deviant behaviour. American academic <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/01956051.1995.9943696">Gary Heba</a> argues Freddy is: <blockquote> an example of America’s political unconscious violently unleashed upon itself, manifesting everything that is unspeakable and repressed in the master narrative (perversion, child abuse and murder, vigilantism, the breakdown of rationality, order, and the family, among others), but still always present in the collective unconscious of the dominant culture. </blockquote> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/UBrl4H0Uzng?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption>Actor Robert Englund calls Freddy Krueger ‘the gift that keeps on giving’.</figcaption></figure> <h2>The monster decades</h2> The 1970s and 1980s marked a golden era for the creation of horror film nasties like Krueger, Myers, <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072271/?ref_=fn_al_tt_3">The Texas Chainsaw Massacre</a>’s Leatherface and <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094862/?ref_=fn_al_tt_19">killer doll Chucky</a>. Since then, the landscape of horror has shifted, with fewer singular monsters emerging. The diversification of horror sub-genres (zombie virus horror, anyone?), the rise of psychological horror (<a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7784604/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_2_tt_4_nm_2_in_0_q_heredi">Hereditary</a>), and an emphasis on human-driven terror (<a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0416315/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_1_tt_7_nm_0_in_0_q_wolf%2520creek">Wolf Creek</a>) or supernatural forces all contribute to this shift. While modern horror continues to thrive, few characters have achieved the same iconic status as Freddy – although some would argue Art the Clown from the recent <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4281724/">Terrifier</a> franchise and the reinvigorated Pennywise from <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1396484/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_1_tt_6_nm_1_in_0_q_it">IT</a> could join this exclusive group. <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ZuYoEtEI_go?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption>‘Five, six, grab your crucifix.’ A 2010 Nightmare on Elm St reboot failed to fire.</figcaption></figure> <h2>Happy Halloween!</h2> Despite a <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1179056/">failed reboot in 2010</a>, the legacy of A Nightmare on Elm Street is strong, having influenced numerous filmmakers with its skilful mix of surrealism and slasher horror. However, it’s the orchestrator of the titular nightmares whose legacy is perhaps the strongest. With each Halloween, new fans choose Freddy for their costume. All it takes is a tattered striped sweater, a brown fedora hat, and a glove with sharp, finger-lengthening blades. Don’t forget makeup to re-create Krueger’s grisly facial burns. Sweet dreams!<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/240905/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/adam-daniel-301018">Adam Daniel</a>, Associate Lecturer in Communications, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/western-sydney-university-1092">Western Sydney University</a> Image credits: New Line Cinema - IMDB This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/freddy-krueger-at-40-the-ultimate-horror-movie-monster-and-halloween-costume-240905">original article</a>. </div>

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Arguing with the people you love? How to have a healthy family dispute

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jessica-robles-617248">Jessica Robles</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/loughborough-university-1336">Loughborough University</a> Unlike Britain’s royal family, most of us don’t have the option to move to another country when we don’t see eye to eye. But most of us have likely experienced disagreements with loved ones. <a href="https://www.sscnet.ucla.edu/soc/faculty/heritage/Site/Publications_files/CA_as_SOCIAL_THEORY.pdf">Conversations are designed to</a> do things – to start some action, and complete it – whether it’s a service transaction, an invitation to coffee or reassurance on a bad day. Our <a href="https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=ZnhyDwAAQBAJ&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_ge_summary_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=false">uniquely complex communicative system</a> has evolved to help us get things done in the social world. Arguments are part of this complex system. They can be unavoidable, necessary or even productive. But they can also be difficult. It can be hard to know what to do when tensions are high and harsh words are flying, particularly when it involves someone you’re close to. But research on how disputes unfold – and conversation more generally – offers some ideas about the best way to handle one. <h2>What is a dispute?</h2> There are many words for disagreeing, and there are plenty of academic theories describing what disputes are and why they happen. But arguments are not abstract models. They’re lived in, breathed in, sweated in and talked (or sometimes shouted) into being. Research focusing on <a href="https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/288351315.pdf">how disputes actually happen</a> shows they’re characterised by three types of features. First are the <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0378216606000488">vocal features</a>, which include talking in a higher pitch, louder and faster. Then, there are <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1750481310395452?casa_token=MCNQWEQD6HwAAAAA:8nbyXh-cgjWzfL3syRrwybRFQl_ddHIMy9tRIAwPRAFADrgHtR2LSl9ZoUFsVlnzWPjWaKQZZ9XEVA">embodied features</a> such as aggressive gestures and avoidant stances, such as turning away from someone. Finally, there are <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/01638539009544746?casa_token=BB9edpIE1oUAAAAA:FTK-JRJ2oCmG7BufkUAQX1k1_9C1Cvc12r5ynYPM6duFB-HDWhgef8Va-Rh5Z2XksR64oTcPmi4FAQ">interactional features</a> such as talking over each other, not listening or metatalk – <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/08351813.2020.1826765?casa_token=isJl2NJbSIkAAAAA:Mh-dXMfkBSGvEeoOWAoxLDjzbZ_eF-zbND-D8q4RAP5WHadqg1KUZDF_UnySFAcyb3LD-DF3BbGq1A">comments about the conversation</a> as it’s happening. <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1354067X9953001?casa_token=Gje17vkyg_AAAAAA:ik_4Ze-4PIFLa6yjthOpztvJrtdVOokhRT73M8jDN4t1w0Bl7WzW2--d1vjZwanphorOH_r6jaVZdA">Displays of emotion</a> such as displeasure or anger, are also common. Participants might accuse each other of emotions or label their own emotions. Disputes happen for several reasons. What each person is doing can vary, from <a href="https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.530.8869&rep=rep1&type=pdf">complaints and accusations</a> to <a href="https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1348/014466610X500791?casa_token=r58ikQ5XFxEAAAAA:QR9wr0Fcz7q5BeSvL8soAIhKMNA1O9TcpcBaLleBKDvZ8Q5sPyX1OSg0OzSL5-xb8By5QbgNm9kHNhg">demands, threats or resistance</a>. They can be about many things – familial obligations, what to have for dinner, politics or how to plan a holiday. Luckily, disputes share elements <a href="https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=2NxaC7nSetAC&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_atb#v=onepage&q&f=false">with each other</a> and with conversation generally – so you don’t have to invent new strategies every time you’re caught in one. <h2>Affiliation and alignment</h2> When bickering with a friend or family member, there are ways to make them feel like you’re still on their side even if you disagree. If you can keep these in mind, and use them at the right time, you might stop your dispute from escalating into something harder to mend. The first thing is <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/9781405198431.wbeal0196.pub2">affiliation</a>, which means support for the other person or their view of things. Affiliation involves phrasing what you say so it’s best <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/08351810903471258?casa_token=yxnWxfDAEB8AAAAA:uoHEX2dlOS06wxwlHH7TOWmmfB51qMMbzg5tadx5SeRcf_5-vABUKQZtIt0Hchu4vUlFNfCX4qRi5A">understood and easier to respond to</a>. For example, saying “you’ve been to France before, right?” invites someone to share their experience – partly by including the tag “right” at the end, which at least requires a confirmation. It can also involve categorisation, the way we talk about or treat others as <a href="https://link.springer.com/content/pdf/10.1007/BF00142771.pdf">certain types or group members</a>. For example, if you reduce the other person to a stereotype through labelling – by saying something like “girls always say stuff like that” or “OK, boomer” – you risk provoking a response to the insult, not to the action in which that insult was embedded. The second thing we expect from any conversation is alignment – cooperating with the direction of the conversation, such as accepting or denying a request. The opposite, disalignment, might occur when a request is ignored. Alignment has more to do with the sequence of the conversation, how the dispute unfolds over time. Asking for clarification – a practice known as <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0136100">repair</a> – or <a href="https://www.jbe-platform.com/content/journals/10.1075/prag.27.1.03rob?crawler=true">claiming a misunderstanding</a> can treat problems as fixable errors rather than moral failings or attacks. <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0261927X17744244">Humour can diffuse</a> conflict escalation. <h2>How to have a healthy dispute</h2> In the course of a dispute, you need to think about when to bring these tactics out. They’re more likely to yield better outcomes earlier in the dispute. By the time it’s escalated, your responses may be viewed through the prism of the dispute and <a href="https://books.google.co.uk/books?hl=en&lr=&id=eFSXDwAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PT200&ots=6tM3fJnXr1&sig=Zchtur1abh25W7ERN5Q49ASRaJc#v=onepage&q&f=false">any offensiveness</a> you’ve already displayed toward each other. In cases like this, teasing can come across as contempt, for example, and claims to misunderstand as bad-faith mockery. It can feel like disputes take on a life of their own – as if the conversation uses us rather than we use it – and this is partly because conversation can seemingly take us along for the ride (consider the difficulty of turning down invitations). We invest our identities into conversations so disputes can seem to threaten us and <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0378216618304302?casa_token=1SbOpn_2k8MAAAAA:YQ2Yb9nt-ONsmBKmVzTCx8cfl76bS5nK6_Yd8zONBVJFdJ57vwgdBDJxsXfk0aUOhilRQAF-ABA">what we stand for</a> morally. This may be starker with family, whose opinions of us often matter more than friends or colleagues, for example. It’s always worth stopping to reflect on what a dispute is really for, whether what you’re saying lines up with your goals and whether taking a stand is worth it.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/159565/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jessica-robles-617248">Jessica Robles</a>, Lecturer in Social Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/loughborough-university-1336">Loughborough University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/arguing-with-the-people-you-love-how-to-have-a-healthy-family-dispute-159565">original article</a>.

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