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Filling the silences in family stories − how to think like a historian to uncover your family’s narrative

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/andrea-kaston-tange-1417052">Andrea Kaston Tange</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/macalester-college-2632">Macalester College</a></em></p> <p>Great-grandmothers. We all have them. But most of us will never know them except through glimpses of fading bits of paper: sepia photographs, recipe cards, letters in handwriting traced by a fountain pen dispensing cocoa-colored ink.</p> <p>What does it take to build coherent stories out of such tantalizing fragments of lives? I face this question routinely in my career as a <a href="https://www.macalester.edu/english/facultystaff/andreakastontange/">professor of 19th-century literature and culture</a>. Recently, I’ve turned that experience to writing a book about my own family.</p> <p>When I inherited my great-grandmother’s diary, a repurposed teacher’s planner in which she chronicled the family’s 1926 move from Michigan to Miami, I found a wedding portrait tucked inside. The angled profile showcases her youthful skin and a dress too elaborate for a Midwestern schoolteacher’s daily wear. It is easy to imagine that she took pleasure in inscribing her new name on the picture’s reverse: Faith Avery.</p> <p>I stared at her beautiful image for years, as if details of her satin gown could explain why a woman widowed in 1918 would, for the rest of her life, refuse to admit to having had that first husband and yet carefully preserve this portrait.</p> <p>And then, because archives have been at the center of my scholarly work, I turned to research. I located marriage records and draft cards, pored over maps, found family members in censuses and obituaries. Within those documents lay answers both surprising and poignant.</p> <p>What did I look for? How might anyone with a half-told family story begin to uncover more truths? And what does it take to make sense of them?</p> <h2>The digging</h2> <p>Questions that begin with “why” can rarely be answered easily. Researchers thus often prefer to start with “who” and “when” and “how,” locating a person in one spot and then tracing them through time. This adventure down a rabbit hole follows a method.</p> <p>Make a list of unknowns. These may be facts or enticing tidbits of incomplete family lore. My mother, trying to be helpful, told me things like, “Faith always said there was a horse thief in the family, but she was too mortified to reveal his name” and “I think Aunt Harriette (Faith’s sister) was married once briefly.”</p> <p>Do precise, not general, searches. Typing “horse thief Avery” into Google yields nothing useful, but many other sources contain rich information about old-fashioned exploits. The New York Public Library’s <a href="https://www.nypl.org/blog/2019/03/25/genealogy-guide-books">guide for family research</a> introduces some options. The <a href="https://www.loc.gov/pictures/">Library of Congress print and photograph collection</a> can also help you envision your ancestors’ world. Physical libraries contain historic photographs, maps, local records and digitized newspapers not available online. Historical societies and state universities typically allow free, in-person use of their collections.</p> <p>Know that sometimes you will fail and need to change course. I spent several days looking for the horse thief to no avail, much to my mother’s disappointment. But when I turned to Aunt Harriette’s marriage, I found a character no less fascinating, one I now think of as “Four Wives Frank.”</p> <p>Read old documents knowing they were produced by a patchwork of individuals who took information on trust. The handwritten birth, death, marriage and <a href="https://www.archives.gov/research/census/about">census records</a> of past centuries relied on self-reported data that required no verification. They can be plagued by carelessness in the name of efficiency.</p> <p>One hurried census-taker recorded Faith’s mother Cara as “Cora,” another renamed her brother Horace “Harris.” Frank offered up a variety of birth years, countries of origin and maiden names for his mother as he worked his way west. He must have been charming. Who but a charming man could have convinced woman after woman to marry him, each thinking she was, at most, his second wife? Marriage register officers and census-takers, not to mention his trail of brides, were none the wiser.</p> <p>Which leads me to this: Cross-check information. I knew I had the right Frank because he had the same three sons in multiple records. Inconsistencies across those records, in conjunction with the trajectory of his life, made this conclusion inevitable: The man purposefully reinvented himself.</p> <h2>The assembly</h2> <p>My academic work has taught me that most <a href="https://doi.org/10.2979/victorianstudies.63.2.02">archival answers lead to more questions</a>. As a result, I expect multiple phases of collecting. I gathered everything I could find about Faith’s early life, in hopes something might explain her reticence about her first marriage. As her story emerged, I periodically hit holes in the narrative that sent me back for more digging.</p> <p>Understanding people is easier if you are familiar with their world. For background, I read histories of Miami in the 1920s and researched details in Faith’s diary that might reveal her personality or motivations. Exploring her reading lists showed me a woman who enjoyed popular entertainment, such as 1926’s blockbuster “<a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0016598/">Aloma of the South Seas</a>.” Primers of <a href="https://libraryguides.missouri.edu/pricesandwages/1920-1929">1920s wages and prices</a> explained the family’s economic worries.</p> <p>As I got to know Faith, I revisited documents with new questions. To figure out whether Harriette’s husband Frank had anything to do with Faith, I made timelines for both sisters. To ponder the emotional underpinnings of those events, I reread Faith’s diary, paying particular attention to entries about Harriette and about Faith’s second husband.</p> <p>Because every pile of documents contains multiple stories, the key to a coherent narrative is locating a through line that addresses the biggest conundrums while identifying the tangents. I let go of the horse thief.</p> <h2>The results</h2> <p>The detective-style plots of what I call “<a href="https://www.writersdigest.com/be-inspired/lilly-dancyger-memoir-as-detective-novel">investigative memoir</a>” may inspire you to do your own family research. Genealogy sites such as <a href="https://www.ancestry.com/">Ancestry.com</a> and <a href="https://www.familysearch.org/en/united-states/">FamilySearch.org</a> can help.</p> <p>But it’s worth remembering that secondary reading will add richness to any family story. And local librarians are extraordinary at helping patrons navigate the search process.</p> <p>Improbable as it might seem, Four Wives Frank helped me understand the extent of Faith’s secrets and that she harbored them in hopes that her children’s lives would be easier. Such self-sacrifices are common for mothers. And yet, their particulars are as individual as the faintly silvered portrait of the soft young woman who married Harold Avery in 1911, and whose story requires an entire book to tell properly.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/234341/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/andrea-kaston-tange-1417052">Andrea Kaston Tange</a>, Professor of English, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/macalester-college-2632">Macalester College</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/filling-the-silences-in-family-stories-how-to-think-like-a-historian-to-uncover-your-familys-narrative-234341">original article</a>.</em></p>

Family & Pets

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‘He was horrific!’: Nearly two thirds of family historians are distressed by what they find – should DNA kits come with warnings?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/susan-moore-1446031">Susan Moore</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/swinburne-university-of-technology-767">Swinburne University of Technology</a></em></p> <p>In 1853, my great great grandmother Charlotte died giving birth to her 13th child, in a tent on the banks of the Yarra River in what is now South Melbourne – but was then an overcrowded, muddy hellhole known as <a href="https://blogs.slv.vic.gov.au/our-stories/canvas-town-a-floating-city-devoured-by-the-sun/">Canvas Town</a>. The baby, William, died shortly afterwards. Researching Charlotte’s story made me both sad for her loss and angry at the powerlessness of women’s lives then.</p> <p>I’m not the only one to have experienced intense emotions – both negative and positive – while researching my forebears.</p> <p>On Facebook pages, in <a href="https://time.com/5492642/dna-test-results-family-secret-biological-father/">media stories</a> and <a href="https://www.sbs.com.au/ondemand/tv-series/who-do-you-think-you-are">on TV</a>, you’ll find a flood of hobby genealogists discovering shocking things about their ancestors – or even their own identity.</p> <p>My recent research revealed about two thirds of family historians have experienced <a href="https://www.mdpi.com/2313-5778/7/2/26">strong negative emotions</a> like sorrow or anger through their hobby.</p> <p>And nearly all respondents had experienced strong positive emotions such as joy or pride.</p> <h2>Passionate ‘kin keepers’</h2> <p>In 2019, Doreen Rosenthal and I surveyed 775 Australian hobbyist family historians to examine their <a href="https://www.routledge.com/The-Psychology-of-Family-History-Exploring-Our-Genealogy/Moore-Rosenthal-Robinson/p/book/9780367820428">motivations</a>.</p> <p>They were adults aged between 21 and 93, but most were older and the median age was 63. The majority (85%) were women. This seems to be typical of hobbyist family historians. Women often take on the role of “kin keeper” – and have the time to devote to it when they’ve finished rearing children and have retired from paid work.</p> <p>Survey respondents described why they were passionately engaged with their hobby – and how it made them feel. Some 48% “sometimes” felt strong negative emotions about what they found, while 15% did “often”.</p> <p>There were five common distress triggers.</p> <h2>1. Ancestors behaving badly</h2> <p>The first and most common distress trigger was the discovery of ancestors who had behaved badly – either as individuals, or by profiting from unjust social conditions. Finding these forebears made family historians feel confronted, shocked and sometimes ashamed.</p> <p>They said things like: "[The worst thing was] finding the bigamist! He was horrific!! Very confronting thinking that I have some of his blood in my veins!"</p> <p>And: "[It was] difficult finding that ancestors may have been involved in unsavoury behaviours or events. The problem is trying to understand the context of how they were able to do things that are socially and legally unacceptable today and not things I can be proud of."</p> <h2>2. Ancestors treated cruelly</h2> <p>It was also distressing to discover ancestors who had been cruelly treated. This elicited disturbing, even “heartbreaking” feelings – and, at least implicitly, indignation at injustice. Many were deeply moved by what their ancestors experienced.</p> <p>As one survey respondent put it: "What is unexpected is the relationships that can be formed with those who are no longer with us. That I can be moved by the plight of my paternal step great great grandmother who was incarcerated in a mental institution from 1913 to 1948 without review, without visitors, to get her out of the way."</p> <h2>3. Sad stories</h2> <p>Sadness was often specifically mentioned. As in the case of my great great grandmother who died in childbirth, sadness was usually a response to the hardships and tragedies ancestors faced in more challenging times.</p> <p>Women commonly did not survive childbirth, neonatal deaths were frequent, people died of diseases medical science has now conquered. Poverty was rife and war a constant threat.</p> <p>"[It was difficult] discovering the tragedies encountered by my Irish ancestors who came to Australia and their struggles and heartbreaking stories of survival for the next three generations."</p> <p>"[It is distressing] to uncover particularly sad and desperate times in some ancestors’ lives. For example, a destitute widow who admitted her child to an orphan asylum for three years, only to have her child die of typhoid fever within two weeks of returning home."</p> <h2>4. Family secrets and betrayal</h2> <p>The fourth distress trigger was a belief by the family history researcher that they had been betrayed by other family members: through secrets, lies and feeling their lived experience was ignored or denied.</p> <p>This is particularly likely for those who discover “secrets” about their parentage – for example, the late-life discovery of adoption, parental infidelity or previously unknown siblings.</p> <p>Trust is damaged. If family members can lie about these important things, what else might they lie about?</p> <p>As one woman commented: "My mother’s half-sister did not accept that she shared a father with my mother. My great grandmother lied about who my grandfather’s father was. My great great grandmother also lied. All these lies were very distressing."</p> <h2>5. Moral dilemmas</h2> <p>Finally, several respondents expressed doubt and confusion at the moral dilemmas they faced on discovering information that could greatly distress other living relatives. Should they tell or not?</p> <p>An emotional burden attaches to withholding potentially distressing information of this kind. Yet there is also guilt and fear about the possible outcomes of sharing it.</p> <p>"I knew an aunt had an illegitimate child before she married. Through DNA I found her granddaughter. I have yet to inform this girl who she is. I don’t feel it’s my right as she has absolutely no idea of any adoption of her father."</p> <p>"A really distressing find was that my great aunt’s husband had committed a terrible murder. I have not been able to speak about this with the descendants of the couple."</p> <h2>Healthy outcomes from bad feelings</h2> <p>Sometimes these distressing feelings can promote healthy, growth-enhancing outcomes. After the initial shock, some traumatic genealogical discoveries lead to a greater understanding of the past and its influence.</p> <p>Placing ancestors’ maladaptive or distressing behaviours, or their misfortunes, into historical and social context can help with acceptance and forgiveness, and stimulate emotional healing and personal growth.</p> <p>Initial feelings of distress about past injustices and tragedies are sometimes replaced by admiration for the strength and resilience of one’s forebears. This can positively influence personal wellbeing and resilience.</p> <h2>How can family and professionals help?</h2> <p>I processed my great great grandmother’s story by writing it down and sharing it with family members. We reworked our sadness at her fate into a positive family narrative, emphasising her bravery and the strengths her surviving children showed.</p> <p>Support can mean just disclosing these stories to family members, friends and other family historians. But for some, it may be helpful to discuss these topics privately with a counsellor or therapist, especially if they’ve led to a breakdown in family relationships or an assault on one’s sense of identity.</p> <p>Counsellors and psychologists should develop strategies to support clients distressed by genealogical findings – and encourage them to use their new knowledge for personal growth and greater understanding of family dynamics.</p> <p>Should providers of genealogical research products (especially DNA tests) educate their customers about their products’ potential to cause distress?</p> <p>Trigger warnings might be overkill. But they could issue lists of support resources for those who are upset or disoriented by their findings.</p> <p>As more people gain access to more genealogical data – with the potential to challenge identity and uncover family secrets – it’s worth thinking about.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/207430/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/susan-moore-1446031">Susan Moore</a>, Emeritus Professor, Faculty of Health, Arts and Design, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/swinburne-university-of-technology-767">Swinburne University of Technology</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/he-was-horrific-nearly-two-thirds-of-family-historians-are-distressed-by-what-they-find-should-dna-kits-come-with-warnings-207430">original article</a>.</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Julia Roberts learns shocking family secret

<p>In an interview with Ancestry's<em> Finding Your Roots</em> series, Julia Roberts discovered a shocking fact about her connection to the Roberts family, dating back over 150 years ago.</p> <p>Dr Henry Louis Gates Jr dug into her family tree and discovered that Julia Roberts' real name should be Julia Mitchells.</p> <p>The revelation came after Dr Gates found that Rhoda Scuttle, the actress' great-great-grandmother, had an affair.</p> <p>"Digging into Georgia's County archives, we discovered that sometime in the 1850s, Rhoda married a man named Willis Roberts," Dr Gates said.</p> <p>"Julia carries Willis' last name, but Willis passed away in 1864, over a decade before Rhoda gave birth to Julia's great-grandfather, John, leading to an inescapable conclusion."</p> <p>That conclusion was, "Willis Roberts could not possibly be your great-great-grandfather. He was dead."</p> <p>The <em>Pretty Woman</em> actress was left at a loss for words, "wait, am I not a Roberts?" she asked.</p> <p>Dr Gates then explained that he dug deeper into her history, using her DNA and found that she and her other relatives are linked to one man:</p> <p>Henry McDonald Mitchell Jr.</p> <p>"We found a cluster of matches that tie Julia and her cousin to one man," the ancestry expert said.</p> <p>"So, we're Mitchells?" Julia responded in disbelief. Dr Gates confirmed that her real name should be "Julia Mitchells".</p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p>

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Women discover after 55 years that they were switched at birth

<p>Two women are suing the hospital where they were both born in 1964, after they discovered they were switched at birth.</p> <p>Jill Lopez and Tina Ennis, both 57, discovered the mix-up at the hands of the Oklahoma hospital after learning the truth from an at-home DNA test through Ancestry.com.</p> <p>The women were both born at Duncan Physicians and Surgeons Hospital on May 18th 1964, but somehow claim they were each handed off to the other's biological parents.</p> <p>Jill and Tina went 55 years without knowing the truth, until Tina sent her DNA off to Ancestry.com and received confusing results.</p> <p>With the help of her daughter and extensive internet research, Tina tracked down Jill, who took her own DNA test and confirmed that she is the actual biological daughter of Ennis' mother, Kathryn Jones.</p> <p>The two women are now suing the hospital they were switched in for recklessness and negligent infliction of emotional distress.</p> <p>Both families had no idea about the devastating mix-up until recently, and are now left struggling with the revelation.</p> <p>Kathryn Jones said one of the worst parts of the discovery was realising her grandchildren were not biologically hers either.</p> <p>"It was like somebody had ripped out a part of my heart,' Jones said. 'I just couldn't deal with it."</p> <p>Since the news broke, Jill has been spending time with her biological mother, leaving Tina heartbroken when she realised her biological parents, Joyce and John, had both passed away.</p> <p>"Jill got to be with my real parents, and now she gets to be with my parents I grew up with," Tina said.</p> <p>"I didn’t know what to think about it at first, but the more I think about it, it makes me really sad."</p> <p>Together with Kathryn Jones, Tina and Jill have filed their suit against the hospital, who are fighting back.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Facebook</em></p>

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You can now get travel recommendations based on your ancestry

<p><span>There is a common wisdom that says travelling is about finding yourself. That can soon be reality, with a new partnership between Airbnb and genetic testing company 23andMe.</span></p> <p><span>The two companies are looking to tap into the heritage travel industry by helping tourists connect to their roots and plan a visit to their homelands.</span></p> <p><span>“We’re proud to team up with 23andMe, the leader in helping people learn about their genes and ancestry, to make it easier for travelers to plan trips as unique as their DNA,” said Joe Gebbia, co-founder and Chief Product Officer at Airbnb.</span></p> <p><span>According to <a href="https://www.cntraveler.com/story/airbnb-and-23andme-will-help-plan-a-trip-to-your-homeland"><em>Condé Nast Traveler</em></a>, this is how it will work: you can take a DNA test with 23andMe, and in three to five weeks Airbnb will recommend a custom mix of accommodations, tours and classes based on your results in the countries your genes trace back to.</span></p> <p><span>For example, if you were found to have Southern Italian ancestry, you might be suggested to stay at a trullo in the region of Puglia. On the other hand, those with Mexican roots could receive recommendations to go on a mezcal tasting journey in Mexico City.</span></p> <p><span>If you have taken a similar genetic testing before this, worry not – you can still access the recommendations. The website has opened dedicated pages that correspond with 23andMe’s genetic populations in Sub-Saharan Africa, North Africa and West Asia, Central America and Mexico, South America, East and South Asia, and the Caribbean and Europe to allow travellers to “easily plan an end-to-end heritage trip”.</span></p> <p><span>Airbnb said more and more people are taking trips related to heritage or ancestry, with 500 per cent increase in travellers using the online platform to trace their roots since 2014.</span></p> <p><span>The growing popularity of at-home genetic tests like 23andMe also helps make it easier for people to explore and learn more about their ancestry.</span></p> <p><span>The move could be seen as an example of the changing face of travel, where personalisation and service convergence are the main considerations for travel merchants in designing travel experience for customers. According to a <a href="https://us.epsilon.com/pressroom/new-epsilon-research-indicates-80-of-consumers-are-more-likely-to-make-a-purchase-when-brands-offer-personalized-experiences">2017 Epsilon survey</a>, 87 per cent of people say they are more likely to do business with travel websites or apps that offer personalised journeys.</span></p>

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