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Anger, sadness, boredom, anxiety – emotions that feel bad can be useful

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/heather-lench-1349234">Heather Lench</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/texas-aandm-university-1672">Texas A&amp;M University</a></em></p> <p>Remember the sadness that came with the last time you failed miserably at something? Or the last time you were so anxious about an upcoming event that you couldn’t concentrate for days?</p> <p>These types of emotions are unpleasant to experience and can even feel overwhelming. People often try to avoid them, suppress them or ignore them. In fact, in psychology experiments, people will <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-012-9394-7">pay money to not feel many negative emotions</a>. But recent research is revealing that emotions can be useful, and even negative emotions can bring benefits.</p> <p><a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=fzHtrJIAAAAJ&amp;hl=en&amp;oi=ao">In my</a> <a href="https://emotionsciencelab.com">emotion science lab</a> at Texas A&amp;M University, we study how emotions like anger and boredom affect people, and we explore ways that these feelings can be beneficial. We share the results so people can learn how to use their emotions to build the lives they want.</p> <p>Our studies and many others have shown that emotions aren’t uniformly good or bad for people. Instead, different emotions can result in better outcomes in particular types of situations. Emotions seem to function like a Swiss army knife – different emotional tools are helpful in specific situations.</p> <h2>Sadness can help you recover from a failure</h2> <p>Sadness occurs when people perceive that they’ve lost a goal or a desired outcome, and there’s nothing they can do to improve the situation. It could be getting creamed in a game or failing a class or work project, or it can be losing a relationship with a family member. Once evoked, sadness is associated with what psychologists call a deactivation state of doing little, without much behavior or <a href="https://dictionary.apa.org/arousal">physical arousal</a>. Sadness also brings <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/ap.12232">thinking that is more detailed and analytical</a>. It makes you stop <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721412474458">and think</a>.</p> <p>The benefit of the stopping and thinking that comes with sadness is that it <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-77619-4_4">helps people recover from failure</a>. When you fail, that typically means the situation you’re in is not conducive to success. Instead of just charging ahead in this type of scenario, sadness prompts people to step back and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/a0016242">evaluate what is happening</a>.</p> <p>When people are sad, they process information in a deliberative, analytical way and want to avoid risk. This mode comes with <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.75.2.318">more accurate memory</a>, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/02699939108411048">judgment that is less influenced</a> <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2004.11.005">by irrelevant assumptions or information</a>, and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2008.04.010">better detection of other people lying</a>. These cognitive changes can encourage people to understand past failures and possibly prevent future ones.</p> <p>Sadness can function differently when there’s the possibility that the failure could be avoided if other people help. In these situations, people tend to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1469-8986.1994.tb01049.x">cry and can experience</a> <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s10286-018-0526-y">increased physiological arousal</a>, such as quicker heart and breathing rates. Expressing sadness, through tears or verbally, has the benefit of <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/147470491301100114">potentially recruiting other people to help you</a> achieve your goals. This behavior appears to start in infants, with <a href="https://doi.org/10.2307/1127506">tears and cries signaling caregivers to help</a>.</p> <h2>Anger prepares you to overcome an obstacle</h2> <p>Anger occurs when people perceive they’re losing a goal or desired outcome, but that they could improve the situation by removing something that’s in their way. The obstacle could be an injustice committed by another person, or it could be a computer that repeatedly crashes while you’re trying to get work done. Once evoked, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/a0024244">anger is associated with a “readiness for action,”</a> and your <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/S0191-8869(02)00313-6">thinking focuses on the obstacle</a>.</p> <p>The benefit of being prepared for action and focused on what’s in your way is that it motivates you to overcome what’s standing between you and your goal. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1754073913512003">When people are angry</a>, they <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/ejsp.2420240104">process information and make judgments rapidly</a>, want to take action, and are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsycho.2010.03.010">physiologically aroused</a>. In experiments, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2010.04.017">anger actually increases the force of people’s kicks</a>, which can be helpful in physical encounters. Anger results in better outcomes in situations that involve challenges to goals, including confrontational games, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/pspa0000350">tricky puzzles</a>, video games with obstacles, and responding quickly on tasks.</p> <p>Expressing anger, facially or verbally, has the benefit of <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/pspp0000292">prompting other people to clear the way</a>. People are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.86.1.57">more likely to concede in negotiations</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2012.12.015">give in on issues</a> when their adversary looks or says they are angry.</p> <h2>Anxiety helps you prepare for danger</h2> <p>Anxiety occurs when people <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/070674371105601202">perceive a potential threat</a>. This could be giving a speech to a large audience where failure would put your self-esteem on the line, or it could be a physical threat to yourself or loved ones. Once evoked, anxiety is associated with being prepared to respond to danger, including increased physical arousal and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2006.01701.x">attention to threats and risk</a>.</p> <p>Being prepared for danger means that if trouble brews, you can respond quickly to prevent or avoid it. When anxious, people detect threats rapidly, have fast reaction times and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2006.01701.x">are on heightened alert</a>. The eye-widening that often comes with fear and anxiety even <a href="https://doi.org/10.1038/nn.2138">gives people a wider field of vision</a> and improves threat detection.</p> <p>Anxiety prepares the body for action, which improves performance on a number of tasks that involve motivation and attention. It motivates people to prepare for upcoming events, such as devoting time to study for an exam. Anxiety also prompts protective behavior, which can help prevent the potential threat from becoming a reality.</p> <h2>Boredom can jolt you out of a rut</h2> <p>There is less research on boredom than many other emotions, so it is not as well understood. Researchers debate <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tics.2023.02.002">what it is</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.3390/bs3030459">what it does</a>.</p> <p>Boredom appears to occur when someone’s current situation is <a href="https://doi.org/10.3390/bs3030459">not causing any other emotional response</a>. There are three situations <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s11031-011-9234-9">where this lack can occur</a>: when emotions fade, such as the happiness of a new car fading to neutral; when people don’t care about anything in their current situation, such as being at a large party where nothing interesting is happening; or when people have no goals. Boredom does not necessarily set in just because nothing is happening – someone with a goal of relaxation might feel quite content sitting quietly with no stimulation.</p> <p>Psychology researchers think that the benefit of boredom in situations where people are not responding emotionally is that it <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/emo0000433">prompts making a change</a>. If nothing in your current situation is worth responding to, the <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/jocb.154">aversive experience of boredom can motivate you</a> to seek new situations or change the way you’re thinking. Boredom has been related to more risk seeking, a desire for novelty, and creative thinking. It seems to function like an emotional stick, nudging people out of their current situation to explore and create.</p> <h2>Using the toolkit of emotion</h2> <p>People want to be happy. But research is finding that a satisfying and productive life includes a <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/pspp0000292">mix of positive and negative emotions</a>. Negative emotions, even though they feel bad to experience, can motivate and prepare people for failure, challenges, threats and exploration.</p> <p>Pleasant or not, your emotions can help guide you toward better outcomes. Maybe understanding how they prepare you to handle various situations will help you feel better about feeling bad.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/217654/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/heather-lench-1349234">Heather Lench</a>, Professor of Psychological and Brain Sciences, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/texas-aandm-university-1672">Texas A&amp;M University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/anger-sadness-boredom-anxiety-emotions-that-feel-bad-can-be-useful-217654">original article</a>.</em></p>

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Queen Elizabeth’s secret “anger” at Lilibet’s name

<p dir="ltr">Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s decision to name their daughter Lilibet allegedly greatly “angered” the late Queen Elizabeth, according to an explosive new book. </p> <p dir="ltr">In the new biography <em>Charles III: New King. New Court. The Inside Story</em>, by veteran royal journalist Robert Hardman, a source close to the royal family shared the secret anger about the Sussexes using Her Majesty’s childhood nickname for their child. </p> <p dir="ltr">The affectionate moniker was used frequently during the late Queen’s childhood, after it emerged from her own mispronunciation of her name as a child. </p> <p dir="ltr">The nickname was used only by her late parents, her sister Princess Margaret, husband Prince Philip, and closest inner circle.</p> <p dir="ltr">Meghan Markle gave birth to her daughter in June 2021, naming her Lilibet Diana, in tribute to both the Queen and to Prince Harry’s late mother, Princess Diana. </p> <p dir="ltr">According to the explosive new book, a senior palace source described the late monarch as being “as angry as I’d ever seen her” when the couple said in a statement she’d approved the use of the name for their second child. </p> <p dir="ltr">In the wake of the new claims, the Daily Mail’s royal editor Rebecca English added that aides told her at the time that the Queen had felt her name had been “taken”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“‘I don’t own the palaces, I don’t own the paintings, the only thing I own is my name. And now they’ve taken that,” they reportedly told her.</p> <p dir="ltr">English added that she’d been told the Queen was “taken aback” when Harry informed her of his intention with the name, but “didn’t feel, given the circumstances, she could say no”, describing it as “being pushed into an impossible corner.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The claims of the Queen’s disappointment first began to swirl shortly after Lilibet’s birth, but a law firm representing Harry and Meghan quickly fired off a statement to news organisations, suggesting the claim was false and defamatory.</p> <p dir="ltr">“The duke spoke with his family in advance of the announcement – in fact his grandmother was the first family member he called,” the message read.</p> <p dir="ltr">“During that conversation, he shared their hope of naming their daughter Lilibet in her honour. Had she not been supportive, they would not have used the name.”</p> <p dir="ltr">In the days after Lilibet’s birth, Buckingham Palace released a statement saying that the Queen and other senior royals were “delighted with the news.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Getty Images / Instagram</em></p>

Family & Pets

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(H)anger is real: your bad mood and empty stomach are linked

<div class="copy"> <p>Grumpy? Long time between meals? Well now you can cheer up, thanks to a new study validating the link between your cranky mood and grumbly belly – your ‘hanger’ is real.</p> <p>Psychologists studying a group of primarily Austrian, German and Swiss adults have found an association between self-reported hunger, and heightened levels of anger and irritability.</p> <p>Helping people understand their own emotional responses to feelings of hunger could help them better regulate their behaviour, says Anglia Ruskin University professor in social psychology Viren Swami.</p> <p>“Research suggests that being able to label an emotion can help people to regulate it,” says Swami, who was the lead author of the study <a href="https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0269629" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">published</a> in <em>Plos One</em>. “Therefore, greater awareness of being ‘hangry’ could reduce the likelihood that hunger results in negative emotions and behaviours in individuals.”</p> <p>The three-week study monitored 64 participants who submitted five daily reports to researchers via a smartphone app.</p> <p>In each report, participants used a 0–100 scale to evaluate how hungry, irritable and angry they felt.</p> <p>Even when accounting for demographic differences between participants, there was an association between hunger and heightened levels of irritability, anger and reduced feelings of pleasure.</p> <p>It’s the first time the phenomenon has been investigated outside of a laboratory environment and adds to an existing body of research showing that declines in blood glucose levels influences negative emotions.</p> <p>“This ‘hangry’ effect hasn’t been analysed in detail, so we chose a field-based approach where participants were invited to respond to prompts,” explains study co-author Stefan Stieger, professor of psychology at Karl Landsteiner University.</p> <p>“[It gives] a much more complete picture of how people experience the emotional outcomes of hunger in their everyday lives.”</p> <p>The researchers didn’t offer conclusions as to how to mitigate hunger-induced feelings. Reaching for a banana next time you feel cross is probably a safe bet.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em><img id="cosmos-post-tracker" style="opacity: 0; height: 1px!important; width: 1px!important; border: 0!important; position: absolute!important; z-index: -1!important;" src="https://syndication.cosmosmagazine.com/?id=197455&amp;title=%28H%29anger+is+real%3A+your+bad+mood+and+empty+stomach+are+linked" width="1" height="1" /></em></div> <div id="contributors"> <p><em>This article was originally published on <a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/health/body-and-mind/hanger-is-real/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">cosmosmagazine.com</a> and was written by Matthew Agius. </em></p> </div>

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Anger after "fan" enters van carrying Shane Warne's body

<p>Thailand police have revealed they will not be charging a mysterious woman who was spotted entered an ambulance carrying the body of Shane Warne, because she did not break the law.</p> <p>There has been widespread outrage after it was discovered that the mystery blonde woman was allowed into the white van as it transported the body of the late cricket great on a ferry from Koh Samui to the Thai mainland on Sunday.</p> <p>Local police in Thailand launched an investigation into why the woman was allowed to spend time with Shane Warne's body ahead of his autopsy, and brought her in for questioning. </p> <p>At a press conference on Monday, they said they have dropped the investigation as they believed she had not broken any rules. </p> <p>The woman, a German ex-pat who lives in Koh Samui, was seen carrying flowers near the van as it sat on the ferry, before speaking with a local immigration officer. </p> <p>The woman then approached the driver's side of the van and spoke to the driver, who left the vehicle, allowing her to get in and then shut the doors behind her.</p> <p>It’s understood she spent more than 30 seconds inside the vehicle.</p> <p>The woman later told <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-03-07/shane-warne-body-incident-thailand/100887050" target="_blank" rel="noopener">ABC</a> that she just wanted to pay her respects to the cricketer and didn't mean to cause any offence. </p> <p>“I am a big fan of him. It’s very sad that we lost him,” she said.</p> <p>“I just took the flowers to pay condolences."</p> <p>“I am sorry about yesterday but I [did] not mean [any] negative act by that. I am a big fan, he is a great player.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: ABC News footage</em></p>

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Trolls really are just angry souls

<p><span style="font-size: 14px;">Words don’t come easy. But anger does. Research suggests it’s not the anonymity of the internet that excites hostility. Instead, being obnoxious is usually already well and truly entrenched in an online troll.</span></p> <div class="copy"> <p>A <a rel="noreferrer noopener" href="https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/american-political-science-review/article/abs/psychology-of-online-political-hostility-a-comprehensive-crossnational-test-of-the-mismatch-hypothesis/C721597EEB77CC8F494710ED631916E4" target="_blank">study</a> published last weekend by the journal <em>American Political Science Review</em> aimed to pin down differences in online and offline behaviour, based on surveys of more than 8000 US and Danish subjects.</p> <p>Common excuses for social-media and chat-room angst include a loss of empathy through the lack of body-language feedback, the minimal context conveyed by raw text, and reduced inhibitions through responding from a safe, familiar place.</p> <p>“There are many psychological reasons why we might have a harder time controlling our temper online,” says lead author Alexander Bor. “In the end, personality differences turn out to be a much stronger driver of online hostility.”</p> <p>Put simply, the study’s statistics suggest online trolls are already trolls long before they get behind a keyboard. They turn out to be just as hostile in face-to-face debates.</p> <p>And that has implications for troll slayers.</p> <p>“We cannot remove online hate through education because it is not born out of ignorance,” says the Danish postdoc student. “Hostile people know that their words hurt, and that is why they use them.”</p> <p>But Macquarie University Department of Indigenous Studies professor Bronwyn Carlson says online trolls aren’t that two dimensional, though personality does play a key role.</p> <p>“It is not as simple as some people are more aggressive or assertive and others are not,” she says.</p> <p>For example, racists can express their views through aggressive online trolling, but they also can “remain friendly while they continue making racist comments or ‘help’ us see the ‘great things’ Western civilisation has done for us”.</p> <p>“It is not always the case that they remain anonymous, either – some, and indeed many, are happy to have it known who they are, and they stand by their views.”</p> <p>Flinders University digital technology security and governance researcher Dr Zac Rogers says the study reinforces the danger posed by amplified trollish voices, and how such “useful idiots” can be exploited.</p> <p>“Anger drives responses,” he says. “That means more clicks. That means more revenue. Social media and search algorithms have long since discovered this and actively promote it.”</p> <p>Feeding trolls is big business. And angry trolls make useful political and marketing tools.</p> <p>Anger draws the attention of profit-seeking algorithms, Dr Rogers says. So the more intense a gathering of trolls, the further their voice – and message – gets propelled.</p> <p>“But we need to be wary of any suggestions social media is only holding a mirror up to society,” he says. “The internet serves as an automated filter and funnel. It is an amplification mechanism that is highly distorting of the thing it reflects.”</p> <p>Bor agrees. “To end online hate, we need to decrease the visibility and reach of those who are hateful. The alternative is that many people will be deterred from participating in online discussions. This is a democratic problem, given that social media play a larger and larger role in political processes.”</p> <!-- Start of tracking content syndication. Please do not remove this section as it allows us to keep track of republished articles --> <img id="cosmos-post-tracker" style="opacity: 0; height: 1px!important; width: 1px!important; border: 0!important; position: absolute!important; z-index: -1!important;" src="https://syndication.cosmosmagazine.com/?id=163543&amp;title=Trolls+really+are+just+angry+souls" alt="" width="1" height="1" /> <!-- End of tracking content syndication --></div> <div id="contributors"> <p><em><a rel="noopener" href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/people/trolls-really-are-just-angry-souls/" target="_blank">This article</a> was originally published on <a rel="noopener" href="https://cosmosmagazine.com" target="_blank">Cosmos Magazine</a> and was written by <a rel="noopener" href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/contributor/jamie-seidel" target="_blank">Jamie Seidel</a>. Jamie Seidel is a freelance journalist based in Adelaide.</em></p> <p><em>Image: Getty Images</em></p> </div>

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Tobacco giant angers medical community

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Philip Morris International has made a £1 billion bid to take over a company that makes inhalers used to treat lung disease, sparking outrage in the medical community.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The tobacco company behind the Marlboro man has made an offer to buy Vectura, a UK company that develops inhaler technology for lung illnesses.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Medical experts are concerned that the takeover could see Philip Morris profiting from the treatment of smoking-related lung diseases it has helped create.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“If they buy Vectura, Philip Morris will then be making money not only from selling cigarettes that cause lung disease, but they’ll also be making money from the technologies that treat patients who have lung disease caused by smoking,” respiratory pathologist and chief executive of the Thoracic Society of Australia and New Zealand Graham Hall said.</span></p> <p><strong>Changes to research and treatment </strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As a result, many are concerned that research and the treatments doctors prescribe to patients with lung disease could change to avoid directing funds to the tobacco giant.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">For some of the 200,000 New Zealanders with Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD) who use Vectura inhalers, this could result in the prescription of different medications by their doctors.</span></p> <p><img style="width: 500px; height: 414.0625px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7844087/copd-diagram_160331_100539.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/e0a76635bd59443fbe1c71d6f4dcc0f9" /></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Image: healthflexhhs.com</span></em></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">COPD describes a group of diseases that affect the lungs, including emphysema, chronic bronchitis, and chronic asthma, which cause a progressive decline in lung health.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Up to 50 percent of smokers develop COPD to some level.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“How can we in good conscience give a treatment to a patient where the funding from that treatment will be going to the company that caused the disease to begin with?” asked Professor Hall.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“No doctor is going to want to prescribe a treatment to a patient, that they know may be funding a tobacco company.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Research into these diseases could also be at risk, as many doctors, health bodies, and journals have policies banning professionals from dealing with tobacco companies.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Cutting-edge research would be able to be published in these journals if there was known links to Vectura if it’s acquired by Philip Morris,” Professor Hall said.</span></p> <p><strong>Australia ‘indirectly’ funding tobacco companies</strong></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Currently, Australians are prescribed any of 10 different dry powder inhalers that use technology made by Vectura.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In 2020, 2 million scripts for different brands of these inhalers were dispensed and cost about $121 million to taxpayers, according to figures from the federal government’s Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme (PBS).</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Though most of the profits go directly to the pharmaceutical company, Vectura has licensing and royalty deals with companies that use its technology, meaning it gets some of the funds as well.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“It could be the situation where the Australian government is paying taxpayers’ funding indirectly to a tobacco company to treat patients who have lung disease caused by tobacco,” Professor Hall said.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But, the result could put Australia in a breach of a global treaty it signed and ratified on tobacco control.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Since the inhalers are subsidised under the PBS, the government would indirectly funding Philip Morris, violating the treaty.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“It’s a UN tobacco control treaty and it’s been signed and ratified by more than 180 countries, including the UK, including Australia,” Melbourne-based GP Dr Bronwyn King said.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“One of the provisions of the treaty is that it explicitly prohibits engagement between governments and the tobacco industry.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">A spokesperson for the federal Health Department said the government was closely monitoring tobacco activities, but the </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">ABC </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">reports they were unaware of the 10 products on the PBS which used Vectura technology.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The takeover bid has already been approved by Vectura’s board, and will go before the company’s shareholders in London.</span></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Image: Getty Images</span></em></p>

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Anger management: Why we feel rage and how to control it

<p>You’re at the park with the kids. Everyone’s having fun, and then a strange dog appears. There’s no owner around. It’s eyeballing the kids. Immediately your <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26062169">threat system</a> becomes activated.</p> <p>You stand alert, fully focused on the dog; heart racing, fists clenched. The dog bolts in, baring its teeth, and you pounce. You’re in survival mode, full of rage and violence. You yell fiercely, and you kick and hit, or grab the dog by the scruff of the neck, not caring if you snap its jaw.</p> <p>The dog yelps its surrender and flees, while you stand guard in front of your children.</p> <p><a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/bjc.12043/pdf">This type</a> of anger and aggression is the “fight” side of the “fight or flight response”. This <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8318932">physiological response</a>, according to <a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0896627312001298">evolutionary psychology</a>, prepares our bodies to fight off a threat or to flee.</p> <p>It’s such an important part of human survival, and yet it can come at a cost for modern humans. Anger, and aggression in particular, can have serious consequences when it manifests in violence <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18855319">on the streets</a>, in <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7806730">the home</a> and elsewhere in the community.</p> <p><strong>We all get angry</strong></p> <p>Anger is one of the seven universal emotions that are common across gender, ages and cultures, according to leading emotion researcher <a href="http://emr.sagepub.com/content/3/4/364.short?rss=1&amp;ssource=mfc">Paul Ekman</a>. Anger, he says, can be the result of something interfering with us achieving a goal we care about, or when we experience or perceive something threatening to us, either physically or psychologically.</p> <p>Anger is quick (think of the term “short-tempered”), it focuses all of our attention on the threat, and it manifests in our bodies, usually starting in the pit of our stomach, rising up to our face and causing us to grimace and clench our fists. When anger builds, it’s expressed physically with a yell, punch or kick.</p> <p>In the short term, anger <a href="https://www.newharbinger.com/compassionate-mind-guide-managing-your-anger">can be</a> powerful and rewarding; the person who is angry typically gets what they want.</p> <p>But do you like being in the company of an angry person? Most people say no, and that is one of the chief consequences of anger: it is often damaging to relationships and isolating for the angry person.</p> <p>So anger itself is not the problem, it’s how we manage it and express it.</p> <p><strong>Anger disorder</strong></p> <p>There is no clear diagnosis of an anger disorder, but the <a href="http://dsm.psychiatryonline.org/doi/book/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425596">psychiatric diagnostic manual</a> does include “intermittent explosive disorder”, which is characterised by recurrent behavioural outbursts representing a failure to control aggressive impulses. This <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16754840">affects</a> 7.3% of the population at some point in their life and 3.9% in the past 12 months.</p> <p>Anger, however, is a <a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1093/clipsy.10.1.70/epdf">common clinical presentation</a> that features across an array of different mental health problems, such as depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, substance use disorders and many more.</p> <p>If you begin to notice that you are on edge quite a lot, do things that you later regret, are quick to react instead of respond, and that you have people in your life who have told you that you tend to get angry, it might be helpful to do something about it.</p> <p>You can begin by speaking to your general practitioner and, if needed, ask for a referral to see a psychologist. Or you can go straight to a psychologist if you’re happy to forgo the Medicare rebate.</p> <p><strong>Anger management</strong></p> <p>In therapy for anger, clients are asked:</p> <blockquote> <p>What would be your greatest fear in giving up or significantly reducing your anger?</p> </blockquote> <p>Many respond with a fear of being hurt, fear of not being able to stand up for oneself, or fear of unjust or unfair things happening. These are all reasonable responses.</p> <p>But anger is not aggressiveness. Anger may lead to aggressiveness, but when we feel angry, we can try to relate to it in a way that invokes feelings of wisdom, strength, courage and assertiveness.</p> <p>Group and individual anger-management programs, run by psychologists, have <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/1976-28412-001">good success rates</a>. A <a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1093/clipsy.10.1.70/epdf">meta-analysis</a> examining anger-management programs across 92 studies found that cognitive-behaviour therapy (CBT) strategies helped to significantly reduce anger and aggressiveness, and also to increase positive behaviours.</p> <p>Some clinicians are also using a newer technique called <a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/bjc.12043/pdf">compassion-focused therapy</a> (CFT).</p> <p>CFT differs to past therapies, as it focuses on understanding how our brains are “tricky things” that can get us caught up in all sorts of difficult patterns and loops. So, from a CFT perspective, we need to first understand the brain and how it functions so we can better help ourselves when anger shows.</p> <p>Anger expert <a href="http://www.compassionatemind.co.uk/resources/video15.htm">Russell Kolts</a> has developed a new CFT-based anger-management program called <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QG4Z185MBJE">True Strength</a>, which he is evaluating with prisoners. The aim is to start directing compassion toward ourselves to help us self-soothe, feel more comfortable and work with the distress and negative feelings that fuel our anger.</p> <p><strong>Tips to manage your anger</strong></p> <p><a href="http://www.psychology.org.au/publications/tip_sheets/anger/">The Australian Psychological Society</a> has some tips to help manage anger for when it shows in everyday life:</p> <ul> <li><strong>Identify the triggers for your anger</strong>, such as environments and people.</li> <li><strong>Notice the bodily warning signs of anger</strong>: tightness in shoulders, increased heart rate, hot face.</li> <li><strong>Draw on a strategy that works for you</strong>. This could include slowing down your breathing, imagery, evaluating your thoughts, taking time out and changing your environment, or using relaxation skills.</li> <li><strong>Rehearse your anger strategies</strong>. Imagine being in a situation that makes you angry and draw upon one of your skills.</li> </ul> <p>Remember, anger in itself is not the problem. The problem lies in how we manage and express it. The Dalai Lama may have said it best: “The true hero is one who conquers his own anger.”<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/50209/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: http://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em>Written by <span>James Kirby, Research Fellow in Clinical Psychology, The University of Queensland and Stan Steindl, Adjunct Associate Professor of Psychology, The University of Queensland</span>. Republished with permission of </em><a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/anger-management-why-we-feel-rage-and-how-to-control-it-50209" target="_blank"><em>The Conversation</em></a><em>. </em></p>

Mind

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Airline's response to breastfeeding mum on flight causes anger online

<p>A breastfeeding mum has taken to social media after airline staff told her to “cover up” while on board a flight.</p> <p>Shelby Angel was travelling on a KLM Airlines flight from San Francisco to Amsterdam with her one-year-old daughter when the incident took place.</p> <p>Writing on the airline's Facebook page on Sunday, Angel recounted the moment a flight attendant gave her a blanket as she was breastfeeding her daughter.</p> <p>After refusing to cover up, saying it would upset her child, she was told it would be her “issue” if a fellow passenger lodged a complaint.</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FKLM%2Fposts%2F10156473618075773&amp;width=500" width="500" height="268" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" allow="encrypted-media"></iframe></p> <p>“Instead of standing up for and protecting breastfeeding mothers and our children, already under the duress faced by flying with our young children, KLM would rather hold up antiquated values that shame women’s bodies,” she wrote on Facebook.</p> <p>After Angel issued her complaint, the company responded saying the flight attendant’s behaviour was “in line with company policy”.</p> <p>And the airline refuses to back down on their statement, with a representative replying back to the post saying: “We would like to emphasise that breastfeeding is permitted on KLM flights.</p> <p>“However, we strive to ensure that all of our passengers of all backgrounds feel comfortable onboard.</p> <p>“Therefore, we may request a mother to cover herself while breastfeeding, should other passengers be offended by this.”</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FKLM%2Fposts%2F10156479372935773&amp;width=500" width="500" height="632" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" allow="encrypted-media"></iframe></p> <p>The post spread like wildfire and came to the attention of other parents who are now claiming to avoid the airline.</p> <p>“Omg and I thought KLM was more modern thinking. Sorry you have felt this way,” one person commented.</p> <p>“I am astonished. I’ve been a flight attendant at KLM for up to 21 years now and I’ve seen so many mothers breastfeeding their child. Never has this been an issue, not for me, nor for any of my colleagues.”</p> <p>A third person then wrote to KLM on their Facebook page asking for them to clarify their policy on breastfeeding, and they were told, “as an international airline company, we transport passengers with a variety of backgrounds”.</p> <p>“Not all passengers feel comfortable with breastfeeding in their vicinity … to keep the peace on board, in such cases we will try to find a solution that is acceptable to everyone and that shows respect for everyone’s comfort and personal space.”</p>

International Travel

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Anger linked to illness in old age

<p>Not all negative emotions are necessarily bad. In fact, they can direct your behaviour in useful ways. If you’re stuck in traffic and running late, anger with the situation might motivate you to find an alternative route, which will then relieve your stress. But anger is less useful if you’re in the same situation, but stuck on a motorway with no option to divert.</p> <p>Emotions have physiological effects, such as raising the level of cortisol in your bloodstream, that can affect your health. Indeed, a new study, <a href="https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/pag-pag0000348.pdf">published in <em>Psychology and Aging</em></a>, shows that high levels of anger are associated with poor health in older people.</p> <p>The Canadian study recruited 226 adults aged 59-93 years. They took blood samples to assess levels of chronic low-grade inflammation and asked the participants to report any age-related chronic illnesses they might have, such as cardiovascular disease, arthritis and diabetes. The participants also completed a short questionnaire about the level of anger or sadness they experienced in three typical days over a one-week period.</p> <p>For the analysis, the researchers considered whether age could affect the results. They found that higher levels of anger were associated with inflammation and ill health in the oldest participants (aged 80 and above), but not the youngest ones (59-79 years). Sadness was not associated with inflammation or ill health in either age group.</p> <p>The study is cross-sectional, meaning that it assessed a group of people at a single point in time. To get a fuller understanding of the relationship between negative emotions and health, we need studies that follow participants for a period of time – so-called prospective observation studies. Future studies should also take into account other factors that might be involved, such as other emotions (both positive and negative), clinical depression, stress and personality.</p> <p>Although this new research shows a link between emotion and health in older age, we do not know whether anger causes inflammation and illness or whether health problems make people angrier.</p> <p><strong>Emotion and health across the lifespan</strong></p> <p>Negative emotions can help people overcome life’s challenges, but this latest research suggests that specific negative emotions work differently, particularly across different stages of life, and should be <a href="https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.00380">assessed separately</a>.</p> <p>Older age is a period associated with decline, loss and reduced opportunities. If a challenge is difficult or impossible to overcome, anger may no longer be useful and may, indeed, lead to health problems. In contrast, sadness may be psychologically adaptive in older age, helping people accept loss and adjust to it.</p> <p>These findings may paint a rather negative picture of emotional experience and its effects in older age. Yet a long line of research has shown that <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/a0021285">older people are happier</a>. When following people over a ten-year period, positive emotional experiences are shown to increase with age, peaking at 64 and never returning to the levels observed in the average young adult.</p> <p>Perhaps central to these findings is the idea that, with increasing age, comes <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/a0021232">both strength and vulnerability</a>. The finding that older people are happier can be explained by age-related strengths in emotional regulation. As we age, we are better at avoiding or reducing exposure to negative situations and stress. But not all negativity can be avoided. In the case of high levels of sustained negative emotion, older adults may be more vulnerable, taking longer to overcome the physiological response.</p> <p><strong>Letting go of negative emotions and stereotypes</strong></p> <p>Negative emotions and health in older age is a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1754073917692863">relatively new field of research</a>, but substantial research has investigated the relationships between attitudes to ageing and health outcomes. Holding negative age-related stereotypes earlier in life can predict <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2009.02298.x">cardiovascular problems in later life</a> and brain-ageing processes <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/pag0000062">associated with Alzheimer’s disease</a>.</p> <p>For example, believing that decline is inevitable may reduce the chance of a person doing what’s good for their health, such as exercising or taking their prescribed medication. So letting go of anger and other negative emotions and attitudes throughout life may be beneficial for health in later life.</p> <p>It is important that older people have opportunities to be involved in mutually beneficial <a href="https://doi.org/10.1093/ppar/prw013">intergenerational communities</a>. For example, a <a href="https://www.aarp.org/experience-corps/">programme in the US</a> brings older people into local schools to help young children learn to read. Intergenerational communities offer better social support and understanding of ageing for everyone and opportunities for older people to keep active for as long as possible.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/116550/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: http://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em>Written by <span>Louise A Brown Nicholls, Senior Lecturer, University of Strathclyde</span>. Republished with permission of </em><a href="https://theconversation.com/anger-linked-to-illness-in-old-age-116550"><em>The Conversation</em></a><em>.</em></p>

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Roger Federer's shock admission: “I was an angry person"

<p>Roger Federer has dominated the tennis world since 2003, but he recently reflected on his bad behaviour in an interview with <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.tennisworldusa.org/tennis/news/Roger_Federer/68395/roger-federer-i-was-an-angry-person-on-the-court-as-a-teenager-/" target="_blank">Tennis World USA.</a></p> <p>When the Swiss tennis legend was a teenager, the champion admitted he didn’t have a lot of control over his emotions. </p> <p>Federer explained:</p> <p>"I also had my bad times, I struggled with my temper, I was an angry person on the court and very sad once I lost.”</p> <p>Federer also mentioned that he would ruminate on the mistakes he made whilst he was playing.</p> <p>“I was more always very sad commentating every point I lost and I was like, 'Okay, play today is terrible.'</p> <p>“It took me a long time to get really serious and maybe that's the small regret I have, maybe that I did not realise or react earlier but with all the success I have had, I had a very normal and clear path.”</p> <p>This clear path to tennis success has helped him keep a clear head when it comes to his goals, although the 37-year-old did reflect on how long it took him to break through into the world of tennis.</p> <p>“It took me more time than other players maybe to breakthrough but once I broke through, everything was in place ... I did not become a superstar overnight so I think that helps me today."</p> <p>Federer has just recently won his 101st career title as he won the Miami Open over John Isner on April 1.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bvr3WTMg15t/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_medium=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bvr3WTMg15t/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_medium=loading" target="_blank">1️⃣0️⃣1️⃣‼️😁💥</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/rogerfederer/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_medium=loading" target="_blank"> Roger Federer</a> (@rogerfederer) on Mar 31, 2019 at 1:02pm PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Without his tennis idols, Federer might not have had the drive to be where he is today.</p> <p>His two idols were Stefan Edberg when he was growing up and Bjorn Borg later on. This is due to Federer’s coach Peter Lundgren telling stories about Berg.</p> <p>“I heard so many stories from my coach Peter Lundgren and all these great records and what an influential and great person he was for the game of tennis and this is obviously when I started to admire Bjorn as well and everybody who did such amazing things for tennis.”</p> <p>Federer maintains that without these two idols, the world of tennis would be very different today.</p> <p>“I am thankful too because they created the great platform we play in today and I hope I can do something similar for the next generation."</p> <p>With 101 career titles under his belt, Federer is well on the way to inspiring a new generation of tennis stars.</p>

Mind

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6 practical ways to control your anger

<p>Anger. It’s something we’ve all experienced before, but for some, it’s part of their everyday life. Whether it’s becoming enraged at petty things or more serious situations, for many people, controlling their anger is no mean feat.</p> <p>And not only does it affect those around them – after all, who wants to be around a furious person all the time? – but it can also affect their own health.</p> <p>According to <a href="https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/anger-how-it-affects-people" target="_blank"><em><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Better Health</span></strong></em></a>, constant anger means a constant flood of stress chemicals which can in turn lead to health problems such as headache, digestive issues, insomnia, anxiety, depression, high blood pressure, eczema, heart attack and stroke.</p> <p>Of course, all these risks can decrease dramatically simply by taking a few steps towards managing your anger. Here are some of the best ways to do just that.</p> <p><strong> 1. Make sleep a priority</strong></p> <p>Countless studies have shown that a lack of sleep can lead to anger and vice versa, so by getting more shut-eye, you’ll be breaking this toxic cycle and giving your waking self more of a chance of controlling your rage.</p> <p><strong>2. Get moving</strong></p> <p>When you’re angry, your levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) are sky-high. Exercising every day – even if it just means going for a walk around the neighbourhood – will release endorphins, decreasing anger and lifting your mood. It’s also a great way to channel your negative energy into something productive</p> <p><strong>3. Eat less sugar and don’t skip meals</strong></p> <p>So many of us are addicted to sugar without even realising it, meaning that if we don’t get our fix regularly, our blood glucose drops, our bodies release cortisol and adrenaline and we get “hangry”. Cutting down as much as possible on sugar will help reduce your reliance on it.</p> <p><strong>4. Free your mind</strong></p> <p>Forget everything you thought you knew about meditation – it isn’t about sitting cross-legged or chanting. Meditation is simply about taking a small amount of time each day to quiet the mind, focusing on deep breathing and letting negative thoughts come and go without letting them take hold.</p> <p><strong>5. Know your triggers</strong></p> <p>The next time you get angry, ask yourself, what is it about this specific situation that’s made me mad? Is it the person you’re talking to? Are you hungry? Tired? You can’t start managing your anger until you know what’s causing it.</p> <p><strong>6. Get distracted</strong></p> <p>When you’re angry, it’s hard to feel other emotions simultaneously. So do something that’s incompatible with anger, like cuddling a pet or watching a funny show on TV. It’s highly unlikely that you can experience full-blown rage while looking at a cute dog, right?</p> <p>Ultimately, if you feel you’ve tried everything and simply can’t get a hold of your anger, we recommend seeking out professional help.</p>

Mind

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Nigella Lawson angers Italians with her controversial recipe

<p>Beloved British chef Nigella Lawson has come under fire for her new recipe for carbonara.</p> <p>After she shared her carbonara recipe on her Facebook page, Italians flocked to her page to express their disgust at the recipe.</p> <p>She’s been told that her cookery is a "disgrace" and she may as well "make it with turkey twizzlers" after posting the “controversial” recipe which contains nutmeg, wine and cream.</p> <p><iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FNigellaLawson%2Fposts%2F10155401156762480%3A0&amp;width=500" width="500" height="696" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true"></iframe></p> <p>Ms Lawson wrote: "I think spaghetti carbonara is what Meryl Streep cooks for Jack Nicholson in the film version of one of my favourite books, ‘Heartburn’, and it is so right, for that chin-dripping, love-soaked primal feast, the first time someone actually stays through the night."</p> <p>But people were not impressed with one Italian fuming: “Nigella you are a wonderful woman but your recipes are the DEATH of Italian recipes, literally! NO CREAM IN CARBONARA NEVER, only eggs.”</p> <p>Another Italian commented: "This is a recipe of yours, it's not Carbonara. No wine, no cream and egg yolks only in Italian real Carbonara.”</p> <p>Someone else said while the recipe was delicious, it was not carbonara: "It is dee-licious, really. Heavy but heavenly tasting. But it is not Carbonara. Using a name of a well-known recipe, adjusting the original ingredients to one's own taste and even adding others just creates confusion and wrong taste expectations. Yes, we take food very seriously."<strong><br /></strong></p> <p><strong><a href="https://www.nigella.com/recipes/spaghetti-alla-carbonara" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Nigella's Carbonara recipe</span></a></strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Ingredients:</span></p> <ul> <li class="listBackground">500 grams spaghetti</li> <li class="listBackground">275 grams cubed pancetta (or lardons)</li> <li class="listBackground">2 teaspoons olive oil</li> <li class="listBackground">60 millilitres dry white wine (or vermouth)</li> <li class="listBackground">4 large eggs</li> <li class="listBackground">50 grams parmesan cheese (freshly grated)</li> <li class="listBackground">black pepper</li> <li class="listBackground">60 millilitres double cream</li> <li class="listBackground">freshly grated nutmeg</li> </ul> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Method:</span></p> <p>1. Put a large pan of salted water on to boil for the pasta. Cut the pancetta into 1 x 1.5cm / ½ x ¼ inch cubes. If the pancetta has its rind on, cut it off - and use a bigger piece of pancetta, as the amount I've specified is for the prepared cubes - and put the rind in a pan with a film of oil and cook it gently to render down.</p> <p>2. Then in a large pan that will fit the pasta later, cook the pancetta cubes in the oil until crispy but not crunchy. Chuck over them the white wine or vermouth and let it bubble away so that, after a few minutes, you have a small amount of salty winey syrup left. Take the pan off the heat.</p> <p>3. In a bowl, beat together the eggs, Parmesan, cream and some pepper. Cook the pasta more or less according to the packet instructions, but since you want it kept al dente start checking it 2 minutes before the wrapper says it's done. Lower in a cup and remove approximately 125ml / ½ cup of the pasta water before draining. Put the other pan, the one with the bacon cubes, on the heat and add the drained pasta, tossing well to coat with the syrupy pancetta. Add a little of the reserved pasta water to lubricate if necessary.</p> <p>4. Take the pan off the heat again and add the eggs and cheese mixture, swiftly tossing everything to mix. Grind over some more pepper and grate over the nutmeg, carry proudly aloft, and dive in.</p> <p>What do you think of the controversy? Share your opinion with us in the comments below.</p> <p> </p>

Food & Wine

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Why venting can make you more mad

<p>Another day, another nut job on the road in a rage, swearing at the person on the other end of the phone or having an angry outburst at their waitress, colleague, partner, friend or family.</p> <p>The problem is, it is not just nut jobs who cannot control their temper. It's all of us.</p> <p>A very yogic, chilled out friend of mine recounted how he lost it and began screaming at a female driver on the road last week after she became the last in a line of people who'd cut him off or behaved badly during a frustrating car trip.</p> <p>Even the Dalai Lama has admitted to struggling with anger.</p> <p>"Oh, yes, of course," he told Time magazine in 2010. "I'm a human being. Generally speaking, if a human being never shows anger, then I think something's wrong. He's not right in the brain."</p> <p>Anger is a natural, healthy emotion that has its place and is sometimes warranted.</p> <p>The problem is when it hijacks us, small things start to set us off and it starts to affect our relationships and gnarl our insides.</p> <p>It is a "very common" problem, according to Dr Tim Sharp of the Happiness Institute.</p> <p>A problem that loves an outlet.</p> <p>How often have you fired off a text message or email that momentarily alleviates your anger at a person or situation, only to regret it later?</p> <p>Often enough that there is now a recall app that allows you to "share what you want with who you want and take it back, if you want."</p> <p>Easy as venting (and now retracting) is, it is bad for us.</p> <p>"Just because something makes you feel better doesn't mean it's healthy," Brad Bushman, a professor of communication and psychology at The Ohio State University in Columbus tells the Wall Street Journal.</p> <p>Bushman has conducted a number of studies on the subject and concluded that venting often exacerbates the situation.</p> <p>In one, he had 600 university students write a paper that was purposely put down and criticised by a 'partner', who was actually on the research team.</p> <p>The students were then divided into three groups.</p> <p>The first was told to vent by picturing their partner while hitting a punching bag, the second was told to think of becoming physically fitter while hitting the bag and the third group did nothing.</p> <p>Afterwards, it was found that the venting group felt the most hostility and irritation while the group that did nothing felt the least.</p> <p>Sitting on it, without suppressing it, is an idea embraced in eastern philosophy.</p> <p>"We cannot overcome anger and hatred simply by suppressing them. We need to actively cultivate the antidotes to hatred: patience and tolerance," the Dalai Lama has said.</p> <p>"I believe that generally speaking, anger and hatred are the type of emotions which, if you leave them unchecked or unattended, tend to aggravate and keep on increasing. If you simply get more and more used to letting them happen and just keep expressing them, this usually results in their growth, not their reduction."</p> <p>Buddhist teacher, Pema Chodron agrees.</p> <p>"It hurts so much to feel the aggression that we want it to be resolved," she has said of her own experience with anger.</p> <p>"So what do we usually do? We do exactly what is going to escalate the aggression and the suffering. We strike out; we hit back...</p> <p>"Patience has a lot to do with getting smart at that point and just waiting: not speaking or doing anything.</p> <p>"On the other hand, it also means being completely and totally honest with yourself about the fact that you're furious. You're not suppressing anything—patience has nothing to do with suppression. In fact, it has everything to do with a gentle, honest relationship with yourself.</p> <p>"If you wait and don't feed your discursive thought, you can be honest about the fact that you're angry. But at the same time you can continue to let go of the internal dialogue. In that dialogue you are blaming and criticising, and then probably feeling guilty and beating yourself up for doing that.</p> <p>"It's torturous, because you feel bad about being so angry at the same time that you really are extremely angry, and you can't drop it. It's painful to experience such awful confusion. Still, you just wait and remain patient with your confusion and the pain that comes with it."</p> <p>Tim Sharp says the approach also has roots in western psychology.</p> <p>"I'd probably use slightly different language but essentially, it's largely consistent with contemporary approaches like mindfulness-based cognitive therapy and/or acceptance commitment therapy," Sharp explains.</p> <p>"That is, I talk to clients where and when appropriate about (1) the fact that the so called 'negative emotions', including anger, are normal and appropriate at times, (2) fighting or denying such experiences rarely, if ever, proves useful and that (3) accepting and observing them, without judgement, can be very helpful.</p> <p>"A metaphor that's often used in this context is 'surfing'; if you surf the waves of negative emotions like anger they'll rise … but then fall. So in some ways this is like the author's reference to patience, or 'riding it out'.</p> <p>Cognitive therapy "to shift what are often unrealistic and unhelpful assumptions (e.g. It should or shouldn't be like this! It's not fair!)", also helps, Sharp says.</p> <p>Sharp says that these approaches, combined with relaxation techniques, are the most effective for treating unruly anger. Anger that only ends up biting us back in the long run if left untamed.</p> <p><em>Written by Sarah Berry. Appeared on <a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Stuff.co.nz.</span></strong></a></em></p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><em><strong><a href="/health/mind/2015/12/positive-thinking-and-mental-health/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Can positive thinking improve your mental health?</span></a></strong></em></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2015/11/expert-tips-to-stress-less/"><em><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">5 expert-approved ways to stress less</span></strong></em></a></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/relationships/2016/01/bad-habits-that-ruin-relationships/"><em><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">4 bad habits that will destroy your relationship</span></strong></em></a></p>

Mind

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5 surprising facts about anger

<p>It’s a common and constant companion in our lives, but anger is a largely misunderstood emotion. Here are five facts that might just surprise you about anger.</p> <p><strong>1. People associate anger with the colour red</strong></p> <p>A 2013 study published in the journal Emotion found that people really do associate anger with the colour red. In the study, participants were more likely to see anger in faces if there was a red background, but not other negative emotions like fear. So it seems “seeing red” isn’t just an expression.</p> <p><strong>2. Uncontrolled anger is linked to heart attacks and strokes</strong></p> <p>Outbursts of anger could trigger heart attacks, strokes and other cardiovascular problems in the two hours immediately afterwards, according to a 2014 study published in the journal of European Heart Journal. In one of the first studies to systematically evaluate the link between extreme emotions and cardiovascular risk, the researchers found that people who are prone frequent episodes of anger coupled with other risk factors are much more likely to have a heart attack or stroke.</p> <p><strong>3. Anger can help us be more productive and creative</strong></p> <p>A 2010 study in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology found that anger can help people become more motivated to work harder and in more creative ways. In the study, people would respond to another person’s anger by becoming angry themselves, and using that anger to improve their performance.</p> <p><strong>4. Feelings of entitlement explain anger</strong></p> <p>Entitled people are more likely to be angry, finds a study in Psychology of Religious and Spirituality. The researchers found that people who feel they deserve more than others lead them to feel they have been wronged when they don’t get what they want.</p> <p><strong>5. Anger isn’t inherently bad</strong></p> <p>This is one of the biggest (and most common) misconceptions about anger. Anger isn’t inherently bad for you – in fact, it is a valuable and natural emotion that can help people figure out and confront injustices and unfairness.</p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/news/news/2015/12/image-of-couple-proves-love-can-last/">Touching photo of elderly couple is proof that love can last a lifetime</a></strong></span></em></p> <p><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/caring/2015/12/mum-continues-to-volunteer-despite-cancer-diagnosis/">Selfless mum continues to volunteer despite terminal cancer diagnosis</a></strong></span></em></p> <p><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/caring/2016/01/steps-to-fall-proof-your-home/">5 steps to fall-proof your home</a></strong></span></em></p>

Mind