Search

Humans evolved to share beds – how your sleeping companions may affect you now

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/goffredina-spano-2240566">Goffredina Spanò</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/kingston-university-949">Kingston University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/gina-mason-2240569">Gina Mason</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/brown-university-1276">Brown University</a> <a href="https://www.cell.com/trends/ecology-evolution/fulltext/S0169-5347(24)00176-9">Recent research</a> on animal sleep behaviour has revealed that sleep is influenced by the animals around them. Olive baboons, for instance, sleep less as group sizes increase, while mice can synchronise their rapid eye movement (REM) cycles. In western society, many people expect to sleep alone, if not with a romantic partner. But as with other group-living animals, human co-sleeping is common, despite some <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1389945710000377">cultural</a> and <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2352721820303053?via%3Dihub">age-related variation</a>. And in many cultures, bedsharing with a relative is considered typical. Apart from <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1389945710000377">western countries</a>, caregiver-infant co-sleeping is common, with rates as high as <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1087079216000265">60-100%</a> in parts of South America, Asia and Africa. Despite its prevalence, infant co-sleeping is controversial. Some western perspectives, that value self-reliance, argue that sleeping alone promotes self-soothing when the baby wakes in the night. But <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00221325.2021.1905599">evolutionary scientists argue</a> that co-sleeping has been important to help keep infants warm and safe throughout human existence. <a href="https://www.sleephealthjournal.org/article/S2352-7218(22)00077-8/abstract">Many cultures</a> do not expect babies to self-soothe when they wake in the night and see night wakings as a normal part of breastfeeding <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1389945713002220?via%3Dihub">and development</a>. Concerns about Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (Sids) have often led paediatricians to discourage bed-sharing. However, when studies control for <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0107799">other Sids risk factors</a> including unsafe sleeping surfaces, Sids risk does not seem to differ statistically between co-sleeping and solitary sleeping infants. This may be one reason why agencies such as the <a href="https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/150/1/e2022057990/188304/Sleep-Related-Infant-Deaths-Updated-2022?autologincheck=redirected">American Academy of Pediatrics</a>, the <a href="https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/qs37/chapter/Quality-statement-5-Safer-practices-for-bed-sharing">National Institute for Health and Care Excellence</a> and the <a href="https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/caring-for-a-newborn/reduce-the-risk-of-sudden-infant-death-syndrome/">NHS</a> either <a href="https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/150/1/e2022057990/188304/Sleep-Related-Infant-Deaths-Updated-2022">recommend that</a> infants “sleep in the parents’ room, close to the parents’ bed, but on a separate surface,” or, if bedsharing, to make sure that the infant <a href="https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/qs37/chapter/Quality-statement-5-Safer-practices-for-bed-sharing">“sleeps on a firm, flat mattress”</a> without pillows and duvets, rather than discouraging co-sleeping altogether. Researchers don’t yet know whether co-sleeping causes differences in sleep or, whether co-sleeping happens because of these differences. However, experiments in the 1990s suggested that co-sleeping can <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/ajpa.20736">encourage more sustained and frequent bouts of breastfeeding</a>. Using sensors to measure brain activity, this research also suggested that infants’ and caregivers’ sleep may be lighter during co-sleeping. But researchers speculated that this lighter sleep may actually <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00221325.2021.1905599">help protect against Sids</a> by providing infants more opportunities to rouse from sleep and develop better control over their respiratory system. Other advocates believe that co-sleeping <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0163638319301237">benefits infants’ emotional and mental health</a> by promoting parent-child bonding and aiding infants’ <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.3109/10253890.2012.742057">stress hormone regulation</a>. However, current data is inconclusive, with most studies showing <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0163638319301249?via%3Dihub">mixed findings</a> or <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14616734.2024.2380427">no differences</a> between co-sleepers and solitary sleepers with respect to short and long-term mental health. <h2>Co-sleeping in childhood</h2> Childhood co-sleeping past infancy is also fairly common according to <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1389945713011076?via%3Dihub">worldwide surveys</a>. A <a href="https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article-abstract/126/5/e1119/65347/Relationship-Between-Bed-Sharing-and-Breastfeeding">2010 survey</a> of over 7,000 UK families found 6% of children were constant bedsharers up to at least four years old. Some families adopt co-sleeping <a href="https://capmh.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13034-023-00607-w">in response to</a> their child having trouble sleeping. But child-parent bedsharing in many countries, including some western countries <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1471-6712.2005.00358.x">like Sweden</a> where children often co-sleep with parents until school age, is viewed culturally as part of a nurturing environment. It is also common for siblings to share a room or even a bed. A <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00221325.2021.1916732">2021 US study</a> found that over 36% of young children aged three to five years bedshared in some form overnight, whether with caregivers, siblings, pets or some combination. Co-sleeping decreases but is still present among older children, with up to <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/fare.12955">13.8% of co-sleeping parents</a> in Australia, the UK and other countries reporting that their child was between five and 12 years old when they engaged in co-sleeping. Two recent US studies using wrist-worn actigraphs (motion sensors) to track sleep indicated that kids who bedshare may have <a href="https://jcsm.aasm.org/doi/10.5664/jcsm.11352">shorter sleep durations</a> than children who sleep alone. But this shorter sleep duration <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00221325.2021.1916732">is not explained by</a> greater disruption during sleep. Instead, bedsharing children may lose sleep by <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00221325.2021.1916732">going to bed later than</a> solitary sleepers. The benefits and downsides of co-sleeping may also differ in children with conditions such as <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1389945717303842">autism spectrum disorder</a>, <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10802-017-0387-1">mental health disorders</a> and <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/dmcn.13300">chronic illnesses</a>. These children may experience heightened anxiety, sensory sensitivities and physical discomfort that make falling and staying asleep difficult. For them, co-sleeping can provide <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11325-018-1710-y">reassurance</a>. <h2>Adults sharing beds</h2> According to <a href="https://www.sleepfoundation.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/NSF_Bedroom_Poll_Report_1.pdf">a 2018 survey</a> from the US National Sleep Foundation, 80-89% of adults who live with their significant other share a bed with them. Adult bedsharing has shifted over time from pre-industrial <a href="https://academic.oup.com/ahr/article-abstract/106/2/343/64370?redirectedFrom=fulltext">communal arrangements</a>, including whole families and other household guests, to <a href="https://academic.oup.com/jdh/article-abstract/23/3/275/359439?redirectedFrom=fulltext">solo sleeping</a> in response to hygiene concerns as germ theory became accepted. Many couples find that bedsharing boosts their <a href="https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC1978364/">sense of closeness</a>. Research shows that bedsharing with your partner can lead to <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1155/2017/8140672">longer sleep times</a> and a <a href="https://academic.oup.com/sleep/article-abstract/17/4/308/2753131">feeling of better sleep</a> overall. Bedsharing couples also often <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2020.00583/full">get into sync</a> with each other’s sleep stages, which can enhance that feeling of intimacy. However, it’s not all rosy. Some studies indicate that females in heterosexual relationships may struggle more with sleep quality when bedsharing, as they can be <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1111/j.1479-8425.2007.00320.x">more easily disturbed</a> by their male partner’s movements. Also, bedsharers can have less <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27624285/">deep sleep</a> than when sleeping alone, even though they feel like their sleep is better together. Many questions about co-sleeping remain unanswered. For instance, we don’t fully understand the developmental effects of co-sleeping on children, or the benefits of co-sleeping for adults beyond female-male romantic partners. But, some work suggests that co-sleeping can <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11325-018-1710-y">comfort us</a>, similar to other <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jsr.14174">forms of social contact</a>, and help to enhance <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/ajpa.20736">physical synchrony</a> between parents and children. Co-sleeping doesn’t have a one-size-fits-all answer. But remember that western norms aren’t necessarily the ones we have evolved with. So consider factors such as <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1389945716301265">sleep disorders</a>, health and age in your decision to co-sleep, rather than what everyone else is doing.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/241803/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/goffredina-spano-2240566">Goffredina Spanò</a>, Lecturer in Developmental Cognitive Neuroscience, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/kingston-university-949">Kingston University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/gina-mason-2240569">Gina Mason</a>, Postdoctoral Research Fellow in Psychiatry and Human Behaviour, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/brown-university-1276">Brown University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/humans-evolved-to-share-beds-how-your-sleeping-companions-may-affect-you-now-241803">original article</a>.

Body

Why can’t I sleep? It could be your sheets or doona

<div class="theconversation-article-body"> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/chin-moi-chow-169404">Chin Moi Chow</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/cynthia-xinzhu-li-1532937">Cynthia (Xinzhu) Li</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/mark-halaki-1532934">Mark Halaki</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> It’s winter, so many of us will be bringing out, or buying, winter bedding. But how much of a difference does your bedding make to your thermal comfort? Can a particular textile help you sleep? Is it wool, or other natural fibres, such as cotton? How about polyester? With so much choice, it’s easy to be confused. Here’s what we <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jsr.14217">found</a> when we reviewed the evidence – not just for winter, but also for the summer ahead. <h2>The importance of bedding</h2> We <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.enbuild.2020.110097">rely on our bedding</a> to maintain a comfortable temperature to help us sleep. And the <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0378778817317681">right textiles</a> can help regulate our body temperature and <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/9783527342587.ch31">wick away moisture</a> from sweat, promoting better sleep. In the cooler months, we’re mainly concerned about a textile’s insulation properties – keeping body heat in and the cold out. As the temperature climbs, we’re less concerned about insulation and more concerned about wicking away moisture from sweat. Another factor to consider is a textile’s breathability – how well it allows air to pass through it. A breathable textile helps keep you cool, by allowing warmth from your body to escape. It also helps keep you comfortable by preventing build-up of moisture. By releasing excess heat and moisture, a breathable textile makes it feel cooler and more comfortable against the skin. <h2>Different textiles have different properties</h2> Some textiles are better than others when it comes to insulation, wicking away moisture or breathability. For instance, cotton and wool have tiny air pockets that <a href="https://nopr.niscair.res.in/bitstream/123456789/24505/1/IJFTR%2031(1)%20177-186.pdf">act as insulation</a> to provide <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/0379711281900072">warmth</a> in cold weather. Thicker fabrics with more air pockets tend to be warmer, softer and more breathable. But these factors are also affected by the type of fibre, the weave of the fabric and the manufacturing process. Cotton and wool are also breathable fabrics, meaning they help regulate temperature. <hr /> <iframe id="CqVe0" class="tc-infographic-datawrapper" style="border: none;" src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/CqVe0/" width="100%" height="400px" frameborder="0"></iframe> <hr /> While cotton absorbs moisture (sweat) from your skin, it doesn’t wick it away efficiently. This retained moisture can make cotton feel clingy and uncomfortable, potentially leading to chills in warm weather. But wool is <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jsr.14217">highly absorbent</a> and wicks moisture effectively. In warmer weather, when we sweat, wool fibres allow for airflow and moisture transfer, promoting efficient sweat evaporation and cooling, and preventing overheating. So wool (in different thicknesses) can be a good option in both summer and winter. Linen, although breathable and having moisture-wicking properties, provides less insulation than wool and cotton due to its hollow fibres. This makes linen less effective for keeping warm in winter but is effective for keeping cool in summer. Polyester is a synthetic fibre that can be made to trap air for insulation, but it is not naturally breathable. Usually, it absorbs moisture poorly. So it can trap sweat next to the skin, causing discomfort. However, polyester can be specially treated to help control moisture from sweat. <h2>Which sheets help you sleep?</h2> As part of our review, we couldn’t find any studies that directly compared sheets made from different textiles (for instance, regular cotton and flannelette) and their impact on sleep when it’s cold. However, linen sheets are particularly effective in warmer conditions. In one study, conducted at 29°C and high humidity, linen sheets <a href="https://openurl.ebsco.com/EPDB%3Agcd%3A10%3A26460954/detailv2?sid=ebsco%3Aplink%3Ascholar&id=ebsco%3Agcd%3A87732897&crl=c">promoted</a> less wakefulness and fewer stages of light sleep than cotton sheets. <h2>How about doonas?</h2> If you don’t heat your bedroom at night in winter, a goose down doona (one made from fine, goose feathers) might be an option. These promoted the <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0378778818321728">longest, deep-sleep</a>, followed by duck down, then cotton when sleeping at 11°C. This may be because down offers better insulation (by trapping more air) than cotton. Down also has lower thermal conductivity than cotton, meaning it’s better at keeping warmth in. Choosing between a wool or polyester doona? In a wool-industry funded <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.2147/NSS.S100271">study</a> two of us (Chow and Halaki) co-authored, there wasn’t much difference. The study in young adults found no significant difference on sleep at 17°C or 22°C. <h2>So how do I choose?</h2> The choice of bedding is highly individual. What feels comfortable to one person is not the same for the next. That’s because of variations in body size and metabolic rate, local climate, bedroom temperature and building insulation. These can also affect sleep. This variability, and a wide range of study designs, also makes it hard to compare different studies about the impact of different textiles on sleep. So you might need to experiment with different textiles to discover what works for you. <hr /> Many factors can affect your sleep, not just your bedding. So if you’re having trouble sleeping, you can find more information from the <a href="https://www.sleephealthfoundation.org.au/">Sleep Health Foundation</a>. If symptoms continue, see your GP.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/229604/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/chin-moi-chow-169404">Chin Moi Chow</a>, Associate Professor of Sleep and Wellbeing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/cynthia-xinzhu-li-1532937">Cynthia (Xinzhu) Li</a>, PhD candidate studying menopause and sleep, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/mark-halaki-1532934">Mark Halaki</a>, Professor of Human Movement, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-cant-i-sleep-it-could-be-your-sheets-or-doona-229604">original article</a>. </div>

Body

Hospice nurse reveals six unexplainable "death bed phenomena"

Hospice nurse Julie McFadden has lifted the lid on six unexplainable "death bed phenomena" that occur within a person's last weeks of life. The LA-based nurse, who specialises in end of life care, explained that as a person nears the end of their life, they will experience a range of unusual things, including hallucinations, random bursts of energy and even choosing when they're going to die. McFadden once again took to her YouTube channel to educate people on what happens when you're on your death bed, detailing each of the six strange occurrences. Julie explained that patients often experienced "terminal lucidity", "hallucinations", "death stares", and more in their final weeks. She began by explaining the first wild thing that happened at the end of life was terminal lucidity, in which people get a "burst of energy" in the days before they die, sharing that it happens "very often". She said, "Just enjoy it and expect that maybe they will die soon after because that's the kicker with terminal lucidity, it looks like someone's going to die very soon then suddenly they have a burst of energy." "They maybe have a really great day, they're suddenly hungry, they're suddenly able to walk, they're suddenly very alert and oriented, and then shortly after usually a day or two they will die, so that can be the hard part if you're not ready for it, if you don't know what's coming you can think they're getting better and then they die, which can be very devastating." Julie then described how most people in their final days will encounter "death visioning" or "hallucinations", as many people describe seeing the ghosts of loved ones in their final days. "I wouldn't have believed it unless I saw it for myself over and over again," the nurse admitted. "Number three, this is really crazy - people choosing when they're going to die. I have seen some extreme cases of this, people just saying, 'Tonight's when I'm going to die I know it, I can feel it,' and they do. There's also a time when people will wait for everybody to get into town or get into the room arrive at the house whatever it is and then they will die," the nurse explained. The fourth phenomena is known as the "death reach", according to Julie. She explained, "It's when the person's lying in bed and they reach up in the air like they're seeing someone or they're reaching for someone either to hug them or to shake their hands. A lot of times they'll hold their hands up for a long time, like they're seeing something that we're not seeing and they're reaching for someone that we can't see." Julie then listed "number five is the death stare," explaining that the death stare and the death reach often "go together". "It usually looks like someone is staring off into the corner of the room or the side of the room basically looking at something intently, but if you're snapping your finger in front of their face or trying to say their name to kind of snap them out of it, they won't," she said. The last wild thing the nurse has seen is known as a "shared death experience" and is "most impactful", according to Julie. She explained, "A shared death experience is when someone who is not dying feels or sees or understands what's happening to the person who is dying." "It's kind of like the dying person gives you the sensation of what they're going through. From what I experienced, it was a very good feeling. It was like the person was giving me these feelings of freedom and joy and kind of telling me that they were okay." "At the time, I was shocked, I didn't know what was happening, but I've come to find out that that's called a shared death experience." Image credits: YouTube / Instagram

Caring

“Bed of the future” baffles travellers

People usually don't get confused about how to use a bed, but Virgin Hotel's latest addition has gone viral for just that. The Richard Branson bed, has been named the "hotel bed of the future" and it looks like any other bed, aside from the seat-like nooks attached to the corners. "We're very confused by this thing on the edge of my bed," TikTok user Danielle said in the viral video, which has racked up over 3 million views. "It's not a chair, and it doesn't swivel out," she explained. Danielle then proceeds to come up with a few theories about the feature's function. "It's so you don't bump your knee when you're getting up or going back to bed after going to the bathroom," she said. "Or, we're wondering if it's so you can sit and chat with your friends." Other users were quick to comment and here are a few of their hilarious responses: "That's where you stack your laundry when you don't feel like putting it away," one person wrote. "I thought this was so your dog could have a comfy spot to lay," another commented. "Without getting too graphic … the possibilities are endless," added a third. <div class="embed" style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; color: #323338; font-family: Figtree, Roboto, 'Noto Sans Hebrew', 'Noto Kufi Arabic', 'Noto Sans JP', sans-serif; background-color: #ffffff; outline: none !important;"><iframe class="embedly-embed" style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border-width: 0px; border-style: initial; vertical-align: baseline; width: 580px; max-width: 100%; outline: none !important;" title="tiktok embed" src="https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2Fembed%2Fv2%2F7296702849298337066&display_name=tiktok&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2F%40danielle_carolan%2Fvideo%2F7296702849298337066%3Fis_from_webapp%3D1%26sender_device%3Dpc%26web_id%3D7142332295764346370&image=https%3A%2F%2Fp19-sign.tiktokcdn-us.com%2Ftos-useast5-p-0068-tx%2F53b6a23d5bbd4af1a1907e2073c2b818_1698896032%7Etplv-dmt-logom%3Atos-useast5-i-0068-tx%2Fo4IRiSlAxEom0dpDDDEQQQFBJAAC3gffEGEA6J.image%3Fx-expires%3D1699570800%26x-signature%3DIMlG9WO44PlRm5CNyVIyayR4AxM%253D&key=59e3ae3acaa649a5a98672932445e203&type=text%2Fhtml&schema=tiktok" width="340" height="700" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></div> One commenter came to the rescue with the answers everyone was looking for, and confirmed that Danielle's second guess was right, and told her to look up the "Richard Branson lounge bed". The bed itself was patented by Virgin Hotels and features two "cubby holes" which allow three people to sit comfortably on the bed and socialise or do their own thing. "Everybody has a cubby hole where they can sit and talk and still work with devices," Virgin Hotels CEO Raul Leal explained when the bed was first introduced in 2015. Images: TikTok

International Travel

Why do I fall asleep on the sofa but am wide awake when I get to bed?

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/madeline-sprajcer-1315489">Madeline Sprajcer</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sally-ferguson-64">Sally Ferguson</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a> After a long day, you flop onto the sofa and find yourself dozing off while watching TV. The room is nice and warm, the sofa is comfortable, and the background noise of the TV lulls you to sleep. Then a loved one nudges you awake and reminds you to go sleep – in bed. But when you get there, you find to your frustration that you’re wide awake. Why does sleep come so easily on the sofa but not always in bed? <h2>Why is it so easy to fall asleep on the sofa?</h2> <a href="https://www.sleepfoundation.org/circadian-rhythm/sleep-drive-and-your-body-clock#:%7E:text=Sleep%2Fwake%20homeostasis%20balances%20our,that%20it's%20time%20to%20sleep.">Sleep pressure</a> is one reason why you fall asleep on the sofa. This refers to the strength of the biological drive for sleep. The longer you’ve been awake, the greater the sleep pressure. Your body clock or <a href="https://www.thensf.org/what-is-a-circadian-rhythm/">circadian rhythm</a> is another factor. This tells you to be awake during the day and to sleep at night. Your environment will also impact how likely it is you fall asleep. You might have just <a href="https://theconversation.com/health-check-food-comas-or-why-eating-sometimes-makes-you-sleepy-44355">eaten a meal</a>, your very comfortable sofa is in a warm room, with dim lighting and maybe a TV program in the background. For many people, this environment is perfect for falling asleep. So by the end of the day, sleep pressure is strong, your circadian rhythm is telling you it’s time for sleep and your environment is cosy and comfortable. <h2>What happens after a nap on the sofa?</h2> If you’ve had a nap on the sofa before heading to bed, your sleep pressure is likely much lower than it was before your nap. Instead of having more than 16 hours of wakefulness behind you, you’ve just woken up and therefore have less sleep pressure. This can make it much harder to fall asleep in bed. If you just fell asleep on the sofa for five minutes, you might not have too much trouble getting to sleep in bed. This is because a nap that short is unlikely to reduce your sleep pressure very much. But if you were asleep for an hour, it might be a different story. Your sleep cycles might also be working against you. Most sleep cycles are about <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Mary-Carskadon/publication/287231408_Normal_Human_Sleep_An_Overview_Principles_and_Practice_of_Sleep_Medicine_MH_Kryger_Ed/links/5db0c338299bf111d4c026c5/Normal-Human-Sleep-An-Overview-Principles-and-Practice-of-Sleep-Medicine-MH-Kryger-Ed.pdf">90 minutes long</a>. They start with light sleep, progress to deep sleep, and then end with light sleep again. If you wake up during deep sleep, you’re probably going to feel groggy – and it might be easy to get back to sleep when you go to bed. But if you wake up during light sleep it could be harder to fall asleep again in bed. The activities you might do when you get up from the sofa – like turning on bright lights or brushing your teeth – can also make you feel more alert and make it harder to sleep when you get to bed. <h2>Why can’t I fall asleep in my own bed?</h2> There are other reasons why falling also in your bed could be challenging. Many people experience anxiety about falling asleep. They <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24005330/">worry</a> about getting enough sleep or falling asleep fast enough. In such cases, getting into bed can be associated with feelings of stress and apprehension, which make it even harder to sleep. It might be easier to fall asleep on the couch, where there is less stress involved. It might also be harder to fall asleep in bed because of poor <a href="https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-hygiene">sleep hygiene</a>. This refers to your pre-sleep behaviours and sleep environment. Good sleep hygiene, or healthy sleep habits, includes having a regular routine before bed, a dark, quiet room to sleep in, and not using your mobile phone in bed. For many people who don’t have good sleep hygiene, their behaviours before bed and their bedroom environment might not be conducive to sleep. <h2>How can I make it easier to fall asleep in bed?</h2> First, make sure your room is dark, quiet and comfortable. In winter this might mean putting a heater on 20 minutes before you go to bed or taking a heat pack to bed with you. In summer, you might consider air conditioning or a fan to make your bedroom comfortable for sleeping. If you find it easy to fall asleep with the TV on, you might like to play “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iL1Ce1PZFM&t=1s">white noise</a>” in your bedroom as you fall asleep. Some evidence suggests this may make it <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1087079220301283#abs0010">easier to fall asleep</a> by masking other disruptive noises. Your behaviour before bed also impacts how easy it is to fall asleep. Making sure you follow the same bedtime routine every night (including going to bed at the same time) can help. Also, even though it’s hard, try not to look at your phone while you’re in bed. Scrolling on your phone before bed can make it <a href="https://ieeexplore.ieee.org/document/8329667">harder to sleep</a> due to both exposure to blue light and the potentially stressful or alerting effect of the content you interact with. <h2>In a nutshell</h2> The best way to make it’s easier to fall asleep in your bed is to avoid falling asleep on the sofa in the first place. This will ensure all the sleep pressure you build up during the day will be directed towards a deep sleep in your bed.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/208371/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/madeline-sprajcer-1315489">Madeline Sprajcer</a>, Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sally-ferguson-64">Sally Ferguson</a>, Director, Appleton Institute, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-do-i-fall-asleep-on-the-sofa-but-am-wide-awake-when-i-get-to-bed-208371">original article</a>.

Body

What to eat before bed if you want a good night’s sleep

What to eat before bed It’s after 8 pm and you can feel your stomach grumbling. Should you stick it out until morning or head to the kitchen? Night-time eating tends to get a bad reputation – people often worry it causes weight gain, heartburn, indigestion or all three. But it all depends on what you reach for, says nutritionist Nishta Saxena. Saxena says there isn’t a clear-cut time of day that we have to stop eating. Studies have found that it’s not when you’re eating, but how much and what you’re eating which matters. Super salty snacks at the end of the day can, for example, make you dehydrated and interrupt your sleep – and they’re not the only culprits that can affect whether you have a good night’s rest. In general, it’s best to eat small portions before bed. Also try to stay away from foods high in protein or fat, which can be harder for our bodies to digest and can interrupt the natural cadence of our systems, which slow down for the night by producing sleep-inducing hormones like melatonin. Excessive sugar can also act like a stimulant – a bad choice if you’re trying to catch some Zzzs. Saxena suggests eating something that’s high in carbohydrates, which can promote sleep and help you to relax. This is because carbs don’t require as much blood flow or work from your body to digest and are therefore unlikely to interrupt your sleep. If you find yourself with an after-dinner case of the munchies, follow these tips on what to eat before bed. Kiwis Kiwis can help to promote sleep because they are rich in serotonin and antioxidants (such as Vitamins C and E). Serotonin helps to make you feel relaxed and certain antioxidants have sleep-promoting qualities. Plus, these fuzzy fruits are extremely high in vitamin C and our bodies can digest them quickly, says Saxena. They also support heart and digestive health as well as natural immunity. Tart cherries Tart cherries and tart cherry juice contain concentrated amounts of melatonin, a hormone that helps your body regulate sleep-wake cycles, says Saxena. Studies show that they can help to reduce insomnia, plus they also contain other sleep-inducing agents like tryptophan (a precursor of serotonin). Since tart cherries can be a little bit harder to find than other fruits, Saxena suggests keeping some in your freezer and using them to make a smoothie. Nuts Nuts are great for a variety of health benefits, says Saxena, and they’re also a good late-night snack. Just don’t dish out a whole cup of nuts, she warns, because they do contain surprising amounts of protein and fat. In particular, she recommends walnuts and almonds – they contain natural melatonin as well as magnesium, which has the potential to reduce insomnia in adults. Popcorn While pre-packaged microwave popcorn most likely contains too much salt to be a good bedtime snack, popping your own can satisfy people who are craving snack foods like chips. Popcorn is also relatively filling – just don’t drown your bowl in butter and salt. Yoghurt Dairy products, while not consumed by everyone, have a lot of components that stimulate sleep, says Saxena. Something like yoghurt doesn’t require a lot of digestive processes, and even full fat yoghurt doesn’t have a ton of fat in it, making it easy to digest. Plus, it’s filled with amino acids, like tryptophan, which promote sleep. Green bananas Saxena says a greenish banana, “almost the colour of a tulip stem,” is a great evening snack. At this point, the banana is full of starch, which means it hasn’t yet become sugar, and this can be great for our gut bacteria and also helps to promote sleep. She adds that the banana should be firm and have a tiny bit of yellow in the midsection. If it has black spots, it’s too ripe to help with sleep and won’t provide a benefit. Warm milk The benefits of warm milk for sleep are well-documented, says Saxena. This is in part because milk contains tryptophan, an amino acid that promotes sleep. Warm fluids in general can relax our digestive muscles. “It can be a self-care moment when you’re having something warm,” Saxena says. “Your hands are wrapped around the mug and it’s a sensory experience.” Cottage cheese While cottage cheese has lots of protein, it also has the benefits of dairy, including amino acids, that help to promote sleep. It’s also nutrient-dense, containing calcium, magnesium, iron, and phosphorus, which are essential for bodily function. It can also be a good late-night snack for athletes, because it’s high in the protein casein, which helps to reduce muscle breakdown overnight. Still, stay away from other cheeses before bed – most are very high in fat and easy to overeat, warns Saxena. Oatmeal While people often think of oatmeal as a breakfast food, oats are high in melatonin and so can make a good bedtime snack. Like dairy products, oats also contain the amino acid tryptophan. You can also spice up your oatmeal with many of the other foods that are okay to eat before bed – tart cherries, yogurt, or almond butter, for example. Pasta If you’re really hungry, try some pasta – but keep the portion small and be careful to not load your dish with toppings that are high in protein or fat. For example, you don’t want to have a super-cheesy meatball pasta before bed, says Saxena. But a small serving of plain pasta with pesto sauce might do the trick. Image credits: Getty Images This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/healthsmart/conditions/sleep/what-to-eat-before-bed-if-you-want-a-good-nights-sleep?pages=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>.

Food & Wine

This is how often you should be replacing your bed linen

The ultimate bed is one you want to dive right in to. Beautifully dressed, lofty and full, it is accessorised thoughtfully with perfectly plump pillows, a soft throw and plush duvet. But knowing when to replace certain key elements is essential. Mattress A quality mattress should be chosen according to your age and perhaps body type. “Look for a mattress that promotes perfect posture and comfort, while reducing pressure on your entire body,” says Timothy Dutt from <a href="https://ultimatebeds.com.au/">Ultimate Beds</a>. “It should be constructed of natural materials and not include metals, latex or synthetic fabrics.” Contrary to popular belief, a premium mattress requires minimal maintenance, he says, and shouldn’t need to be flipped. “If it does, it is generally a sign that it will collapse, and the manufacturer is hoping to ensure it will collapse evenly,” says Dutt. “A quality mattress should also feature removable breathable covers and sit on a bed base with quality solid slats that provide adequate ventilation.” Because our bodies change as we get older, consider the support your mattress provides. “A general rule of thumb, is that a mattress should be changed every seven to 10 years. This is also for hygiene and health reasons,” says Dutt. “Look for signs it is failing, like lumps in the pillow top, dead spots in the springs, sleep impressions, waking up with aches and pains and not feeling rested.” Pillows When choosing your perfect pillow, being aware of your habitual sleep positions is imperative to make the right selection. “You might be a back, tummy or side-sleeper, or a bit of everything,” says Lauren Roe, Creative Director at <a href="https://www.ilovelinen.com.au/">I Love Linen</a>. “Different pillow styles are designed to support your head and neck based on how your body will be positioned at night. For example, if you prefer side-sleeping or you are a larger frame, a high-loft pillow might work best for you.” A pillow is only as comfortable as what is inside it. “Always ask about its inners,” she says. “If it’s microfibre, ensure it is soft, long-stapled and high quality, not cheap, rough polyfill. If the filling is natural fibres like feathers, ensure they are virgin. It means it is animal-friendly and a better quality filling.” Daily plumping is also essential for keeping your pillows in tip-top condition. “Every pillow has its own specific-care recommendations that should be closely followed,” she says. “Daily plumping is really effective for ensuring good air flow throughout and keeping fibres soft and supple.” Every 12 months check your pillows for signs of wear and tear. “You are spending so much time in close contact with your pillow, that for your own comfort and health it pays to replace them. If they feel flat or lumpy or show signs of holding too much dust, there could be dust mites trapped inside.” Bed linen “You know you have high-quality bed linen, when it’s still the set you want to dress your bed in years after you purchased it,” says Alex McCabe, designer at Australian bed linen company <a href="https://kipandco.com.au/">Kip and Co</a>. “When purchasing, look for fabrics that will really last. That means that they need to be good quality and can mix and match well. Always select for the season. I love the warmth and comfort of jersey and velvet, but during the warmer months I gravitate towards 100 per cent cotton or French linen.” This summer, beds are set to bloom with beautiful botanicals, she says. “Think timeless florals, creeping vines, stone and citrus-fruit pops,” says McCabe. “Our latest collection is called In Full Bloom. It’s inspired by colour-drenched Europe in the spring.” For long-lasting, dreamy bed linen, be sure to launder mindfully. “Bed linen doesn’t have a use-by date,” she says, “but it will last a long time if you follow the care instructions.” When the fabric begins to look worn out or threadbare, it’s time to be replaced. “For longevity, let each set of bed linen rest by rotating it regularly. Each season, add to your collection, but don’t throw out your old stuff. Changing it up means it lasts longer and is a great way to refresh the whole look and feel of your bedroom.” Written by Elizabeth Clarke. Republished with permission of Domain.com.au. Images: Getty

Home & Garden

4 things healthy people do before bed (that you should do too)

We all have one or two of “those” types of friends in our lives who are super fit and healthy – almost annoyingly so. And you wouldn’t be human if you didn’t wonder how they do it. In the hope that it might rub off on us, we’ve rounded up four habits of healthy people. You’ll be surprised they are quite simple to follow and a couple of them are even relaxing! 1. Plan tomorrow's breakfast  One of the keys to maintaining a healthy lifestyle is being prepared. If you are organised ahead of time it will make you less likely to reach for the “bad” stuff and make unhealthy choices. Given this, coupled with the fact that lots of people wake up hungry, it is beneficial to know and maybe even set aside what you’re going to have for breakfast. This is especially helpful if you know you’re going to be tight for time in the morning – if you’re not prepared you might be more inclined to go down the easy route a pick up a pastry on the run with your morning coffee. 2. Have a cuppa Chamomile – an age-old medicinal herb known in ancient Egypt, Greece and Rome – is a relaxing sleep aid that has been used for centuries. Try a soothing cup of chamomile tea to help send you to the land of nod. It’s also said to have anti-inflammatory properties. 3. Take a packed lunch  Whether it’s a case of packing up dinner’s left overs before you sit down at the dinner table or preparing a healthy meal for lunch; taking a packed lunch has a number of benefits. Not only will taking your lunch with you when you head out for the day help stop you from making bad choices when you’re out and about, it will also stop you from having a second helping at dinner time (because you’ve packed it for lunch) and it will save you money by not spending at cafes. 4. Use coconut oil to remove make-up  While there is much discussion about the various uses of coconut oil and the said benefits, coconut oil makes a delightful eye make-up remover. Not only does it work well to remove make-up, it is also gentle on the very delicate eye area and has lovely moisturising properties as well. Image credits: Getty Images

Body

Should you let pets sleep in your bed?

Snuggling up to your furry friend in bed is not unusual in this animal-loving country of ours, with a 2010 survey of 610 pet owners finding that 32 per cent of pets were sleeping in their owner’s bed. But the big question is should you let your pet sleep with you in bed? If you’re a poor sleeper than perhaps it’s time to evict your furry friend from the bedroom. There is growing evidence that letting your dog or cat in your bed does significantly decrease your chances of a good night’s sleep. A study by the Mayo Clinic Sleep Disorders Center found that half of the 152 pet-owning patients reported their pets disturbed their sleep in some way every night. A further 21 per cent of dog owners and seven per cent of cat owners complained that their pets snored. Another 2014 study on sleep surveyed 148 pet owners, finding that 30 percent reported waking up because of their pets at least once a night. Around two-thirds reported poor sleep quality and five per cent said they always had trouble falling to sleep after being woken up by a pet. Despite these statistics, you would be hard-pressed to convince a pet-owner to give up the snuggling presence of their beloved pet. While it’s worth considering the impact of pets in the bed for those who suffer from insomnia or poor sleep quality, for everyone else who is a sound sleeper it is perfectly fine, medically at least, to let your furry friend under the convers. The research shows that owners are comforted by their pets presence in bed – a factor that trumps all other considerations. Image: Getty Images

Family & Pets

How to pick the best sheets

If you are having trouble sleeping or don’t look forward to climbing into your bed, then there could be something wrong with the bed sheets you currently have. Just like mattresses or pillows, bed sheets are important facilitators of falling asleep because they come in direct contact with our skin. Here are four features of bed <a href="https://shop.oversixty.com.au/collections/sheets?utm_source=Over60&utm_medium=in-article-link-sheets&utm_campaign=Over60Shop&utm_content=sheets" target="_blank" rel="noopener">sheets</a> that you need to look out for the next time you invest in bed sheets. 1. Material The most popular material for bed sheets is <a href="https://shop.oversixty.com.au/collections/sheets/products/linen-house-makalya-flannelette-sheet-set?utm_source=Over60&utm_medium=in-article-link-sheets-makalya-flannelette-sheet-set&utm_campaign=Over60Shop&utm_content=makalya-flannelette-sheet-set" target="_blank" rel="noopener">cotton</a>. Cotton has remained as the most popular material for sheets due its durability, comfort and breathability. There are variations of cotton such as Egyptian, pima and Sea Island cottons. Make sure you always check that the fabric is 100 per cent of the material as some sellers loosely use the terms to attract buyers. Be sure you are always buying from a quality manufacturer. 2. Thread count It is popular opinion that the higher the thread count, the more comfortable the sheets will be. However, this isn’t always the case as manufacturers can alter sheet softness by enhancing them will silicone softeners that vanish after the first wash. A lower-thread-count sheet made from naturally softer fibres such as Egyptian cotton will feel more comfortable than a lower-quality cotton blend with a higher thread count. To be sure you are purchasing comfortable sheets make sure they are 100 per cent cotton rather than the 1000 thread count. If you want a more affordable option than Egyptian or Pima cottons than polyester/percale blend is best. 3. Weave It is a good habit to get into that when you go on holidays, you take note of the bedding that you find most comfortable to sleep in. Do you prefer crisp or soft? If you prefer a little snap in your sheets than choose percale which is plainer weave. If you want your sheets to be completely soft than choose sateen. If the cold irritates you while you are sleeping, choose <a href="https://shop.oversixty.com.au/collections/sheets/product-type_flannelette-sheet-sets?utm_source=Over60&utm_medium=in-article-link-sheets-flannelette-sheet-sets&utm_campaign=Over60Shop&utm_content=flannelette-sheet-sets" target="_blank" rel="noopener">flannel sheets</a> to help regulate your body temperature. 4. Fit It is important that you get the right size and fit for your bed sheets so you don’t have to wrestle with your mattress every time you need to put your sheets on. If you have a standard-size bed including twin, queen or king, it can be helpful to purchase <a href="https://shop.oversixty.com.au/collections/bedroom/products/linen-house-sheet-sets-elka-fitted?utm_source=Over60&utm_medium=in-article-link-sheets-sheet-sets-elka-fitted&utm_campaign=Over60Shop&utm_content=sheet-sets-elka-fitted?utm_source=Over60&utm_medium=in-article-link-sheets-sheet-sets-elka-fitted&utm_campaign=Over60Shop&utm_content=sheet-sets-elka-fitted" target="_blank" rel="noopener">sheets</a> that have features such as elastic edging to ensure a snug fit. Before you buy sets that include pillowcases, make sure your pillows are not under or over scale to avoid wasting money. Image: Getty

Home & Garden

“The bed was alive”: Woman issues warning after horror hotel stay

An Australian woman has issued a warning to fellow travellers after she was attacked by bed bugs during a mini holiday with a friend. Justine Martin and Anna McLean were heading out for a getaway to the Gold Coast following Melbourne’s tough lockdowns last year and checked into a “resort-style” hotel after their long trip. As the pair were about to fall asleep, Justine said she felt a “crawling sensation” on her neck. “I noticed the sheets were a little bit sandy down at the feet end, and it was very late by the time we got there, so I tried to drift off,” she told <a rel="noopener" href="https://travel.nine.com.au/latest/bed-bugs-travel-warning-australia-summer-la-nina/b45cd682-5754-482c-9cda-14da230f6092" target="_blank">9Honey</a>. “I was lying there tossing and turning, and I could hear Anna scratching. Next thing, I felt something crawling on me.” When she brushed against her face, Justine realised something was biting her neck - a tiny bed bug. “I turned on the light and there was a wine glass sitting on the side table, so I popped it in the wine glass,” she recalled. “Then we got out the bed and pulled the sheets back… and the bed was alive.” The Victorian women were shocked to find that both of the single beds were covered in dozens of the bugs, while the “sand” Justine thought she could feel at the end of the bed turned out to be sprinklings of bed bug excrement. <img style="width: 396px; height: 223px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7846740/bedbugs1.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/006f2ce30aa548019add5f955070bc68" /> Justine and Anna found bed bugs and their excrement in their hotel rooms while on a holiday in Queensland. Image: 9Honey After alerting the night manager, Justine and Anna were moved to a new hotel room - only to find that the queen bed within was just as infested with bed bugs. “We pulled back the sheets, and it was full of bed bugs as well,” Justine said. “The whole place was infested. “We both had showers to wash bugs off our skin, and I have long black hair so I was worried it was going to get into my scalp.” Fortunately their clothes were still packed away, protected from the tiny bugs. With two strikes against their current hotel, the pair were determined to salvage their holiday, demanding a refund and checking into an expensive hotel along the beach. “We lost a whole day, we slept for most of the Friday and had to do our washing,” Justine added. “I’m not being a snob, it shouldn’t matter what you’re paying for a motel or hotel room, the quality of the room should be 100 percent and it should be clean. “Now when I go into a hotel, the first thing I do is pull up the sheets and look for any signs of bed bugs… their excrement or stains on the mattress, because bed bugs will be hiding during the day.” According to bed and sleep expert <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.news.com.au/travel/travel-updates/travel-stories/expert-issues-warning-to-summer-travellers-as-bed-bug-populations-surge/news-story/344bc7d4c6d68bde43bb57304d4ffadf" target="_blank">Darren Nelson</a>, December through February are common months to find bed bugs. With increased travel during this period, the bed bugs are able to spread from holiday homes, hotels and campsites to bedrooms at home. As for how to combat them, Mr Nelson suggests keeping bedding and sheets clean, and washing sheets separately from clothes to reduce the risk of cross-contamination. “Most people wash their sheets every week or two - but forget about their pillow and doona, going months if not years, between washes,” he explained. “These are the breeding ground not only for bed bugs, but for dust mites.” Image: 9Honey / news.com.au

Travel Trouble

Here’s how often you should actually be changing your sheets

Whether you wash your sheets once a week or wait to do a sniff test, you’ve most likely wondered how often you should be changing your bed sheets at the moment. Like many things in life, the answer isn’t so black and white, but we’re here to answer it for you in these unprecedented times. To increase your protection against the new coronavirus, the US Centres for Disease Control (CDC) recommends daily cleaning and disinfecting of “high-touch areas”. That includes doorknobs, light switches, tables, remotes, handles, desks, toilets, sinks, and chairs – but what about your bed sheets? Why do we need to change our sheets? “There are a lot of things that can get in your sheets,” says Dr. Robb Akridge, Co-Founder of Clarisonic and Skin Expert, PhD in Microbiology specialising in Immunology and Infectious Diseases. “First, you need to understand that everyone has tiny mites all over their bodies and these mites feed off dead skin. (You can’t see them, but they are there.) For our skin to be healthy, we need these mites on the body. When these mites — commonly known as dust mites — excrete feces, it is the fecal matter that then causes irritation, inflammation and other allergy responses. When we shower, we wash off the feces, which is often why we can minimise irritation. When you sleep, you often shed skin and mites into your sheets, and remember, dead skin is food for these dust mites which are transferred from your skin to the sheets. If you don’t change your sheets, you create a breeding ground of mites (and they breed very rapidly), and the more mites, the more feces. The more feces, the more likely you will have irritation, especially if you are more sensitive to this.” But that’s not all, as you could also have fungi growing within your sheets. “For example, if you have athlete’s foot, the fungi can live in your sheets and can be passed on to someone who you are sharing a bed with,” Akridge says. What type of sheets are best? “It is important to use sheets that are breathable,” Akridge says. “Cotton is really the best. Also, if you have any skin infections, acne or mite allergies, you should stick to white cotton sheets. That way you can clean them with super-hot water and bleach. You obviously cannot use bleach if your sheets are coloured, so this is something to consider when purchasing. Bleach and extremely hot water will help to get rid of the mites and kill microbes in the sheets.” To deal with dust mites, you need to use water that is at least 55 degrees Celcius and the highest heat setting on your dryer. Get yourself a mattress cover if you don’t already have one. They are designed to keep your mattress safe from mites and prevent their feces from going into the mattress. “You can get an allergy mattress cover and allergy pillowcase covers,” Akridge says. “Your mattress and pillows have ample area for dust mites to expand and multiply, and therefore, over the years, if you don’t have a protective cover, it can easily become the source of irritation and other allergy-related symptoms.” What if my pet sleeps in my bed with me? Then you need to make sure you’re washing your sheets more often. “We see lots of skin rashes and conditions due to pets,” says Board Certified dermatologist Dr Dhaval G. Bhanusali. “It’s better to do at least once or twice a week to minimise the chance of negative effects.” So how often do you need to change your sheets? Many sources suggest changing your bedsheets weekly even under normal circumstances, and the CDC has not made any specific recommendations about doing it more frequently due to the new coronavirus. However, paying attention to bedding is important because germs can collect there. So, if it soothes you to change your sheets more frequently, go right ahead. “Overall, the amount of times you change your sheets really depends on your lifestyle, personal habits and living conditions,” Akridge says. “For example, if you are active or if you are someone who perspires a lot when you are sleeping, then you should change your sheets at least once a week. Also, if you have acne, then you may want to change your sheets more often.” To be on the safe side, aim to wash your sheets once a week, but try not to stretch it past two weeks.

Home & Garden

What you should do before bed so you get ahead in life

Make a prioritised to-do list Writing out a to-do list each night is a great way to streamline your morning and get you off to a good start, but you can supercharge your to-do list by making one little tweak, according to Jeff Petro, CEO of Cool Beauty Consulting. “Each night, I draft a to-do list for the next morning, and then I prioritise the top three items that must get done,” he says. “This keeps me focused on what’s really important without getting side-tracked by smaller tasks.” And resist the urge to mark everything as a top priority. Sticking to just three will help keep you from getting overwhelmed, and you’ll still feel like you’ve accomplished a lot at the end of the day. Take some deep breaths Bedtime meditation has a slew of powerful health benefits, including better sleep – so it’s no surprise that it’s a habit practised not just by CEOs but also professional athletes, celebrities, scientists and other people at the top of their fields. But it’s all too easy to forget or to brush off at the end of a long day, which is why Keith Cushner, CEO of Tuck, keeps his meditation practical and simple. “I spend 10 to 20 minutes using one of a few different meditation techniques, including guided meditations and breathing exercises on my own,” he says. “Using apps like Headspace and Buddhify make it easy. I just have to follow the directions.” Spend one-on-one time with their partner Raise your hand if you’ve ever laid in bed with your partner, playing on your phones or watching movies, side-by-side but not interacting? (That’s everyone, right?) You’ll sleep better and have a better relationship if you follow the lead of Rachel Pedersen, CEO of the Viral Touch. “Every night before bed, I make sure to have a little flirty time with my husband,” she says. This could mean talking about your day, snuggling, or any other activity (ahem) that helps you bond. “This keeps us connected daily throughout the challenges of our work and personal lives,” she adds. Use a smart plug to shut off all screens “I shut down my phone, laptop, TV and tablet at least two hours before bed, which is tough when you have a lot to do or are in the habit of checking email and other notifications,” says Michael Alexis, CEO of Team Building Hero. “My pro tip for making the no-screens effort easier: I have my Wi-Fi router connected to a smart plug that shuts off at 10pm and turns itself back on at 8am when I wake up. When the Wi-Fi stops, so does my access to the Internet.” Block out all noise and light You never realise how loud your refrigerator is or how bright your neighbour’s porch light is until you’re trying to fall asleep. Eliminate these distractions simply by using ear plugs and a sleep mask, like Alexis does. “This combination is, of course, helpful for blocking out light and noise, but I find it helpful even in quiet dark rooms,” he explains. “Putting the sleep mask on feels like a trigger to go to sleep, and I usually fall asleep within five minutes or so.” Written by Charlotte Hilton Anderson. This article first appeared in <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/healthsmart/conditions/sleep/16-things-ceos-always-do-before-bed?pages=2">Reader’s Digest.</a> For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, <a href="http://readersdigest.innovations.co.nz/c/readersdigestemailsubscribe?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=articles&utm_campaign=RDSUB&keycode=WRN93V">here’s our best subscription offer.</a>

Caring

5 things CEOs always do before bed

Start tomorrow right – tonight! Anyone who has ever had to help a child with a school project at midnight or found themselves binge-watching Netflix until the wee hours of the morning knows that what you do at bedtime can have a huge impact on how the next day goes. Getting enough sleep is one of the best things you can do for your health, yet for too many of us, sleep is the first thing that’s sacrificed when life gets crazy. The second thing to go? Good bedtime habits. Even CEOs have to fight this temptation, but some of them have figured out how to do it successfully and consistently. We asked them to share the surprisingly simple night time tricks that help them have a happy, productive day. Set an alarm for bedtime instead of wake time Half the battle of getting a good night’s sleep is getting yourself to bed on time. Douglas Smith, CEO of True Nutrition, has discovered a great hack for making sure he’s consistent with his bedtime. “Most people set an alarm for waking up, but I’ve discovered it should be the other way around,” he says. “I set my alarm for 30 minutes before I should be in bed, and I stick to it. This helps me get to sleep at the same time every night. Once my body adjusted to it, I’ve found that I sleep better and I don’t even need an alarm to wake up. I wake up on my own, feeling well-rested.” Use a light-filtering app Blue light from screens interferes with your natural circadian rhythms, tricking your brain into thinking it’s morning instead of bedtime. Jason McCarthy, CEO of DigiNo, combats this by using apps that moderate the light from device screens. “I use the F.lux app. It gradually decreases the brightness and white light from the screen as bedtime draws closer,” he says. “This leads to much healthier and easier sleep. Plus, it reminds me not to keep working too late!” Sip some vinegar and honey Have trouble falling asleep? McCarthy swears by this bedtime tip courtesy of Tim Ferriss’ The 4-Hour Workweek. “He recommends drinking hot water with a spoonful of organic apple cider vinegar and natural honey as a sleep aid,” McCarthy explains. “No matter how busy my mind is from a stressful day at work, this drink manages to knock me out for a soothing sleep within 20 minutes. And it tastes better than you think it will!” Utilise a “mail butler” Managing email can feel like a full-time job for anyone, CEO or otherwise. And going to bed with a full inbox can make it hard to sleep, thanks to constant notifications or worries about missed items. This is why Billy Goldberg, CEO of the Buckeye Group, swears by Mailbutler, an extension for your email that automates certain tasks. “After dinner but before bedtime, I tidy up my inbox and get it down to zero. I use Mailbutler to ‘snooze’ emails and remind me of them at a set time in the future when I’ll need the information or need to follow up with someone,” he explains. “I use the extra time to hang out with my teenage daughters if they are into me at that moment.” Have a nutritious bedtime snack It’s hard to sleep if your stomach is grumbling, but a full tummy can also cause insomnia. In fact, overeating is one of the common mistakes insomniacs make. For Goldberg, the perfect compromise is a small snack high in fibre and healthy fats. “This may sound strange, but eating a spoonful of almond butter right before bed is the key to getting a good night’s sleep,” Goldberg says. “I wake up energised, and my blood sugar is maintained. Honestly, it’s been a game-changer for me!” Pack a gym bag Exercise can help improve your mood, increase your energy and even make you more creative, helping to set you up for a productive day. The only downside is that it can be hard to remember all of that when you’re dragging yourself out of a warm bed before the sun’s even up. For Joyce Shulman, CEO of Macaroni Kid, the trick is to prep the night before. “I set out my clothes for my morning workout in the bathroom, so when I get up at 5 am., I have no decisions to make – I just do it,” she says. “I also set up my coffee the night before because, well, coffee.” Written by Charlotte Hilton Anderson. This article first appeared in<a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/healthsmart/conditions/sleep/16-things-ceos-always-do-before-bed?slide=all"> Reader’s Digest</a>. For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, <a href="http://readersdigest.innovations.co.nz/c/readersdigestemailsubscribe?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=articles&utm_campaign=RDSUB&keycode=WRN93V">here’s our best subscription offer.</a>

Caring

5 household chores that are a waste of time

An endless list of the same old household to-dos costs you time, money and sanity. Here are some you can just skip. <div class="at-below-post addthis_tool" data-url="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/food-home-garden/household-chores-that-are-a-waste-of-time">1. Washing your hair every day</div> <div class="at-below-post addthis_tool" data-url="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/food-home-garden/household-chores-that-are-a-waste-of-time"> It may sound counterintuitive, but if you shampoo too often, you will actually make your hair oilier. Washing strips hair of natural oils, so your scalp produces more and then you have to wash again. Stick to two or three times a week, says dermatologist Dr Tsippora Shainhouse. Using a gentle, sulphate-free shampoo and conditioner will keep your scalp and hair from drying out too much. 2. Using a top sheet on your bed Save time making your bed every morning by skipping the tangle-prone top sheet. Many Europeans sleep directly under a quilt or a duvet with a cover, as do many of us. Just be sure to make time every week to wash any bedding that touches your body. 3. Tossing mouldy bread The best bread is bought fresh at a bakery and eaten on the day you buy it. But if you don’t devour the loaf, you’ll want to store the rest in the freezer.  It’ll last longer (two to three months, according to the experts  at epicurious.com) and make much better toast,  according to the New York Times. 4. Opening curtains wide every morning <div id="page9" class="slide-show"> <div id="test" class="slide"> <div class="slide-description"> Letting the sunshine in is a lovely way to greet the day, but if you’ll be leaving the house and not returning until after dark, all those rays can fade your furniture and make your air conditioner work harder. North and west-facing rooms are especially sun-prone, so try leaving those curtains drawn. Also, consider running the air conditioner only when you’re home. <div class="at-below-post addthis_tool" data-url="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/food-home-garden/household-chores-that-are-a-waste-of-time">5. Peeling vegetables</div> Unless you’re preparing pumpkin, celery root or some other food with a tough outer coating, there’s no reason to waste precious before-dinner time peeling vegetables, reports thekitchn.com. That goes for foods you may have been peeling  all your life, such as carrots, cucumbers, potatoes and turnips. You’ll save time and gain flavour and healthy fibre. Written by Jody L. Rohlena. This article first appeared in <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/food-home-garden/household-chores-that-are-a-waste-of-time">Reader’s Digest</a>. For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, <a href="http://readersdigest.innovations.co.nz/c/readersdigestemailsubscribe?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=articles&utm_campaign=RDSUB&keycode=WRN93V">here’s our best subscription offer.</a> </div> </div> </div> </div>

Home & Garden

Tragic twist in deaths of twin sisters who passed away in bed next to mum

Twin sisters who died while sleeping in bed next to their mother were reportedly “miracle babies”, according to a close friend of the family. Violet and Indiana passed away after being found unconscious in bed with blankets covering them in their home in Brisbane. The twin sisters had been born just six weeks earlier. 'They did want to extend their family and it was probably going to be the last throw of the dice for them,' family friend Kieran Garratt told <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.couriermail.com.au/news/queensland/little-girls-were-last-hope-for-extended-family/news-story/abe7ca6bd95c3ac2db8cb0a226444844" target="_blank">The Courier Mail</a>. The father is said to be beside himself with grief as his two-year-old son who was diagnosed with autism doesn’t understand that the babies are gone. “We're in a very dark place. But we have to keep going for our other children. Our son is walking around the house looking for the babies. He loved them so much,” the father said, according to <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.couriermail.com.au/news/national/brisbane-twin-girls-die-in-cosleeping-accident-grieving-father-tells-of-heartbreak/news-story/0a459ff91ae80ed6c7a252f3e1ece787" target="_blank">The Courier Mail</a>. Garratt confirmed this to <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.msn.com/en-au/news/australia/heartbreaking-twist-in-the-deaths-of-twin-girls-who-died-while-sleeping-in-bed-with-their-mum-as-friend-reveals-the-babies-were-a-last-roll-of-the-dice-to-extend-the-young-family/ar-BBXJhtZ?li=AAgfYrC" target="_blank">MSN</a>. “The boy has been pretty hurt by it,” he said. “Being autistic he doesn't have a line of communication, if you like. “He was always touching them very gently and, in some ways, he was more connected to them than his bigger sister.” The couple also have an older daughter who is almost five, who knows about what happened to her siblings, but it hasn’t sunk in yet. “We told her the truth. We didn't say they had fallen asleep… we told her they died. She's on the trampoline calling out to me to come and jump with her. She's saying, 'Daddy come play with me'', but I just can't. I say, '’sweet girl, I can't'’,” he said. The twin’s grandfather told <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7755375/Brisbane-sleeping-tragedy-Father-tells-daughter-autistic-son-newborn-twin-sisters-died.html" target="_blank">The Daily Mail</a> that the family are struggling to cope. “It's every parent's worst nightmare what they are facing... they've been through hell,” he said. Friends of the couple have created a <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.gofundme.com/f/rip-twin-angels-of-brisbane" target="_blank">GoFundMe</a> page to ease the financial burden on the family, as they are planning to move out of the place they’ve called home for two years. The appeal has raised more than $22,000 in the six days since it’s been launched. Photo credits: <a href="https://www.gofundme.com/f/rip-twin-angels-of-brisbane">GoFundMe</a>

Family & Pets

“Too frail to get out of bed”: Elton John shares Freddie Mercury’s last days before passing away

Sir Elton John has shared on Queen legend Freddie Mercury’s final days before he passed away of AIDS at the age of 45. John explained in his new book Me: Elton John that Mercury kept his illness a secret from him. "I visited him a lot when he was dying, although I could never stay for much longer than an hour,” John remembered. "It was too upsetting – I didn’t think he wanted me to see him like that." He also detailed Mercury’s appearance. "He was too frail to get out of bed, he was losing his sight, his body was covered in Kaposi's sarcoma lesions, and yet he was still definitely Freddie, gossiping away, completely outrageous. "I couldn’t work out whether he didn’t realise how close to death he was or if he knew perfectly well but was determined not to let what was happening to him stop him being himself." John discusses how Mercury also helped him get sober, as they pointedly told John he was overdoing it on cocaine at the height of his addiction in the 1980s. He has now been clean for nearly three decades.

Music

6 sleep myths you can put to bed

When it comes to sleep, most people have heard an old wives’ tale or two – that wine helps you sleep better, or counting sheep is the only way to drop off. And while many of us blindly accept they’re true, scientists aren’t so sure. Here are six myths that could change your sleep routine for the better! 1. Older people need less sleep Not true, says Dr Brendon Yee, sleep and respiratory physician at Sydney’s Royal Prince Alfred Hospital. “We know your sleep changes as we get older, with more ‘light’ sleep phases and less deep sleep, but our need for deep sleep and quality sleep is the same. Quality means sleep that’s not fragmented, with adequate periods of slow wave sleep and REM sleep. Not sleep that’s interrupted because you’ve got sleep apnea, or restless legs, or insomnia.” 2. Counting sheep helps you fall asleep Apparently not, according to scientists at Oxford University who studied two groups of insomniacs and gave some instructions to distract themselves with specific things (like sheep), or nothing at all. Interestingly, when participants were told to imagine relaxing scenes, like a soothing beach scene or field of flowers, they fell asleep on average 20 minutes sooner. So it might be worth visualising your ‘happy place’ when trying to sleep – whether that’s a beach holiday you had last year, or the bucolic view from your back porch! 3. You MUST get eight hours a night or you’ll get sick The media often mentions eight hours as the magic figure of sleep we all need or you’ll get heart disease or strokes or diabetes or obesity, but that’s not strictly true, says Dr Yee. “People have different needs and one of the interesting things is there’s a lot of variability. You could put 50 people in a lab and some will fall to pieces [with sleep deprivation] and others won’t. Why? We don’t know. It’s like a lot of things in medicine. You might expose people to 40 cigarettes a day for 30 years and some will develop lung cancer and others won’t. We don’t know why and those are the issues as doctors we try to face.” 4. A warm glass of milk will help you sleep It’s a nice thought and probably one we associate with drinking milk as kids before bedtime – but scientifically, milk is probably not going to get you dropping off in a hurry, say researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Milk is jam packed with tryptophan, a sleep-inducing amino acid – but for it to have the desired sleepy effect, it has to cross the blood/brain barrier and the tryptophan has to fight other amino acids to do so. The solution, they suggested, was to eat carb-rich foods to stimulate the release of insulin which helped the tryptophan enter the brain. So maybe include a piece of toast along with your milk! 5. Monitoring your sleep is easy with a device such as the Fitbit Nope, and in fact, you should take your Fitbit’s ‘sleep report’ with a grain of salt, warns Dr Yee. “When you measure sleep in a lab, you use an EEG, you have brain leads on, you measure eye movements and muscle tone. I’m not so sure how a device you wear on your wrist can measure sleep objectively! I also think these devices can cause extra stress and anxiety for someone already worried about their sleep, so it’s important we all remain a bit cynical about these new technologies and what they can actually do.” 6. You sleep better with a few glasses of wine under your belt Sure, you might drop off more easily, but don’t be fooled – using alcohol as a sleep aid can be more detrimental if your quest is a good night’s sleep, say experts. Sleep may be deeper at first, but it becomes increasingly disrupted during the night and will probably promote snoring and poorer breathing. You can also sweat more as your body tries to maintain an optimal body temperature, which can again lead to disturbed sleep – and because alcohol is a diuretic, it can also mean a lot more trips to the loo in the wee hours. Result? Waking up feeling worse, rather than refreshed! Written by Rachel Smith. Republished with permission of <a href="https://www.wyza.com.au/articles/health/6-sleep-myths-you-can-put-to-bed.aspx">Wyza.com.au.</a>

Caring

“He refuses to get out of bed”: Parents fined $230 for not getting their son to school

NZ parents of a 15-year-old boy have been fined under the Education Act and have been forced to pay $50 each as well as cover court costs of $130. They were fined for their failure to make sure their son attended school. Parents Donna Davey and Shane Dryden, who now live apart, appeared in Dunedin District Court, where they each admitted a charge under the Education Act of failing to ensure their child was enrolled in school. Counsel Jo Turner said that the parents were “at a loss” as to what to do with their sleepy son. "[They] have tried everything they can to get him out of bed," she said, according to the <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=12260002" target="_blank">NZ Herald</a>. "He refuses to get up in the morning." The boy who lived with Davey was enrolled at Clinton Primary School until the end of 2017 and was then enrolled at South Otago High School up until May this year. The court heard that during those periods of time, the boy was unenrolled at various times due to long spells of non-attendance. At one point in 2018, the teenager had 38 days of unjustified absence and seven days of justified absence out of 62 school days. This means he was off school nearly three-quarters of the time. With every 20 days of unjustified leave, the boy was removed from the school roll. The Ministry of Education sent his parents a letter threatening criminal charges if the boy did not attend school. "Considerable effort has been made by various state agencies to ensure that the defendants enrol [their son] at school and have him attend school regularly," a summary of facts said. Community Magistrate Simon Heale who overlooked the trial accepted that the parents have made considerable effort to get their child to attend school. "I understand teenagers can be very difficult to coax into compliance," he said. "But it is your obligation, till he reaches the age of 16, to have him at school." "While prosecution for non-enrolment is available, prosecuting parents is absolutely a last resort," deputy secretary of sector enablement and support Katrina Casey said. She also said that it was inappropriate to comment on the decision of the court when media questioned whether a $50 fine would deter other parents. The Minister of Education said the prosecution was the first since 2017 and the fourth since 2014.

Family & Pets

Couple causes Twitter meltdown for not having a "side of the bed"

The Internet has continued to make us re-evaluate our daily habits – from <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/home-garden/do-you-wash-this-body-part-in-the-shower-simple-question-sparks-huge-online-debate/">whether we should wash certain body parts in the shower</a> to <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/home-garden/what-is-the-correct-amount-of-towels-to-own-man-sparks-heated-online-debate/">how many towels we should own</a>. Now, a new online debate has been sparked after Washington Post reporter Jeff Stein shared that his friends, who are in couple, sleep on different sides of the bed each night. <blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"> Several months ago, a couple we are friends with said they don’t sleep on the same side of the bed every night. As in, every night when they get into bed, they don’t know who will sleep on which side. Still blows my mind — Jeff Stein (@JStein_WaPo) <a href="https://twitter.com/JStein_WaPo/status/1154939533156409344?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 27, 2019</a></blockquote> “Several months ago, a couple we are friends with said they don’t sleep on the same side of the bed every night,” Stein wrote on Twitter. “As in, every night when they get into bed, they don’t know who will sleep on which side. Still blows my mind.” He went on to explain that the couple only has one nightstand, but there is a window ledge on the other side where a water bottle can be placed. <blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"> UPDATE: The man in the couple in question confirms via DM that they only have 1 nightstand. (However, he appropriately chides me for not fact-checking first.) He also says there is a window ledge on the other side w/ space for a water bottle, while the nightstand holds the phones — Jeff Stein (@JStein_WaPo) <a href="https://twitter.com/JStein_WaPo/status/1155562864893149184?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 28, 2019</a></blockquote> The tweet quickly went viral, having amassed more than 84,000 likes at the time of writing. People expressed surprise at the couple’s habit, with many pointing out how unusual it was to not have a designated side of the bed. “Not only do we sleep on the same side of the bed every night, the dogs also sleep in pretty much the exact same spots every night,” one shared. “If my wife is out of town I still sleep on my side of the bed,” another added. “I’m anxious just reading this. I sleep alone in a California King & still wouldn’t dream of sleeping on the other side of it,” one wrote. “Who the F do these people think they are? They think they are fun and interesting because they change their sleeping side every night? Be boring and predictable like the rest of us and pick a side!” one chimed in. Some suggested that the habit may be more common than people thought. “Totally normal. Whoever gets in the bed first wins. Only one side has a phone charger,” one commented. “My parents with five kids who were happily married for over 60 years changed sides after 30 years of marriage. When asked why, they said they said it was one way to mix it up for the next 30 years!” another shared.

Relationships

Over 60

News

Shop

Catalogues

Travel

Health

Lifestyle

Finance

Entertainment

Property

Information

Keep up to date

Search

Humans evolved to share beds – how your sleeping companions may affect you now

Why can’t I sleep? It could be your sheets or doona

Hospice nurse reveals six unexplainable "death bed phenomena"

“Bed of the future” baffles travellers

Why do I fall asleep on the sofa but am wide awake when I get to bed?

What to eat before bed if you want a good night’s sleep

This is how often you should be replacing your bed linen

4 things healthy people do before bed (that you should do too)

Should you let pets sleep in your bed?

How to pick the best sheets

“The bed was alive”: Woman issues warning after horror hotel stay

Here’s how often you should actually be changing your sheets

What you should do before bed so you get ahead in life

5 things CEOs always do before bed

5 household chores that are a waste of time

Tragic twist in deaths of twin sisters who passed away in bed next to mum

“Too frail to get out of bed”: Elton John shares Freddie Mercury’s last days before passing away

6 sleep myths you can put to bed

“He refuses to get out of bed”: Parents fined $230 for not getting their son to school

Couple causes Twitter meltdown for not having a "side of the bed"