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Elmo's chat about grief with famous actor goes viral

<p>A heart-warming conversation between actor Andrew Garfield and Elmo has gone viral for their candid conversation about grief. </p> <p>While on a press tour to promote his new film <em>We Live in Time</em>, the English actor stopped by Sesame Street for a chat about his mourning journey after his mother died from pancreatic cancer in 2019. </p> <p>Sitting on a stoop beside Elmo, Garfield began the vulnerable conversation, that has been praised for being so open about the taboo of grief and death. </p> <p>“Elmo’s going around Sesame Street checking in on everybody,” Elmo told a smiling Garfield. “So, Elmo wants to know how Andrew’s doing?”</p> <p>With some encouragement from the Muppet, Garfield revealed that he’s been thinking about his mother, as he said, “She passed away not too long ago, and you know, I just miss her. Miss her a lot.”</p> <p><iframe title="YouTube video player" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/EVlXbiP4x2E?si=fFYYt5DJDiGAawXJ" width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></p> <p>After Elmo responded apologetically, Garfield reassured Elmo that there’s no need to say sorry, and that “it’s actually kind of OK to miss somebody,” even if it invokes feelings of sadness.</p> <p>“That sadness is kind of a gift. It’s kind of a lovely thing to feel, in a way, because it means you really loved somebody when you miss them,” Garfield said, adding: “When I miss my mum, I remember all of the cuddles I used to get from her, all of the hugs I used to get from her.”</p> <p>Garfield finished his thoughts by saying that he can miss and celebrate his mother at the same time, as Elmo thanked Garfield for sharing his emotions, saying, “You know what, Elmo is gonna think about and celebrate your mommy, too.”</p> <p>The video quickly racked up millions of views and comments, with many saying how Andrew's thoughts were so poignant, and that they resonated with their own personal stories of grief.</p> <p>Many people called it a "touching conversation" that was "absolutely beautiful", while another person added, "I didn't expect a talk with Elmo to get this deep."</p> <p><em>Image credits: Sesame Street - YouTube</em></p>

Mind

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Woman’s heartbreak 20 years on

<p dir="ltr">A popular Facebook page that receives stories from readers about their bad, favourite or most memorable dates has broken hearts with a recent post. </p> <p dir="ltr">Alita Brydon, the creator of Bad Dates of Melbourne, shared a story from a reader who devastatingly experienced grief and loss.</p> <p dir="ltr">The storyteller notes that this happened to her 20 years ago, back when she was 29, and this is the first time she has shared the story publicly.</p> <p dir="ltr">Now 49, she is still grieving the loss of who she thought would be her forever partner. </p> <p dir="ltr">“When I was 29, I was living with my parents and feeling a bit lost. I spent a lot of time on the internet, in chat rooms, hanging out with interesting people from all over the world,” the story begins. </p> <p dir="ltr">“One day I was in the Scotland chat room, hoping to meet some locals before I planned a trip there - but it was full of Americans.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I was chatting to a 45-year-old man from a small town in the USA who was sweet and funny. </p> <p dir="ltr">“We exchanged emails - and it all started from there.”</p> <p dir="ltr">She revealed that within just months of meeting online, the pair were spending as many hours as they could on the phone. </p> <p dir="ltr">He quickly became her best friend and confidante and vice versa.</p> <p dir="ltr">However, it was soon enough that she realised that she was actually in love with a man who lives halfway across the world and had never met him saying “I swore I would never do that”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“The next year, he came to visit and we had a lovely two weeks together. The bond was true and real and I didn’t let him see me cry when I said goodbye,” she continued. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Pretty soon I was planning a trip to visit him for a good chunk of time, so we could figure out if this was the real deal.”</p> <p dir="ltr">On the plane “jumping out of my skin” excited to see the man she was in love with, the storyteller was ready to see him.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I walked from the plane into the terminal looking for his face - but he wasn’t there,” she revealed.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I headed to the baggage carousel - but he wasn’t there. He hadn’t checked into the airport hotel.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Coming up with possible solutions as to why he hadn’t showed up, unfortunately she settled on the fact that he changed his mind and didn’t want to see her.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Had he changed his mind and decided he didn’t want to see me? That’s what I decided to focus on - the only thing that seemed the most logical. He'd changed his mind, chickened out.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Unsure of what to do, she tried calling his apartment multiple times but to no avail. She then made a deal with herself to call him one more time the following day then leave it. </p> <p dir="ltr">The following day arrives and she picks up the phone to call and someone finally answered, delivering the worst possible news. </p> <p dir="ltr">“They’d found him 30 minutes before and he was dead. He’d been making coffee for the trip to come and get me; and he’d collapsed,” she revealed.</p> <p dir="ltr">“As it turned out, he had an undiagnosed heart condition. He went quickly and peacefully.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The man’s cousin drove to her to pick her up where she then took her to meet his kids who took her where he lived. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Everyone was so welcoming and so kind, even while dealing with their own grief. I stayed for three weeks before I went on my way. I knew he would want me to continue my trip - and that’s what I did. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Since then, I’ve found a new family through his. We’ve taken road trips together, and his brother and sister-in-law came to visit me a few years ago. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I still think about him a lot. His smile, his laugh, his dirty jokes. Our time together was short but it was just so special. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Since then, I’ve had my share of good and bad dates. I got married, divorced and now I’m happily settled with a lovely man I met on a dating app (that’s not a bad story actually). </p> <p dir="ltr">“I’ll never forget my American bloke though."</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Shutterstock</em></p>

Relationships

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“I think she was taken aback”: Rami Malek’s surprising chat with Kate Middleton

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Oscar-winning actor Rami Malek claims he caught Kate Middleton “off-guard” during one of their brief conversations.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The 40-year-old actor appeared on </span><em><a rel="noopener" href="https://youtu.be/DsZC0ugWdr0" target="_blank"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Jimmy Kimmel Live</span></a></em><span style="font-weight: 400;"> on Wednesday following the premiere of </span><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">No Time to Die</span></em><span style="font-weight: 400;"> in which he appeared as Bond’s adversary.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Sharing that he crossed paths with the Duchess of Cambridge at the London premiere, Malek revealed that it was an earlier encounter at the 2019 BAFTA Awards that had an impact.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I just looked at Princess Kate at one point and said, ‘This must be exhausting’,” he </span><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.news.com.au/entertainment/celebrity-life/royals/rami-malek-says-he-caught-kate-middleton-offguard-with-one-question/news-story/8a4e9e45f2d9076f00bb8e91416f1329" target="_blank"><span style="font-weight: 400;">recalled</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“She said, ‘Why?’ and I said, ‘You just had a baby right?’. I think she was taken aback. She said, ‘How are you doing?’ and I said, ‘No, how are you?’.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;"> “And in the most regal, elegant way, she’s like well, you know, gave me a look, but you can tell. Imagine, dressed to the nines, you have to talk to all these actors.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The conversation took place 10 months after Kate gave birth to Prince Louis, her and Prince William’s third child.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“It was so cool, because I think I caught her off-guard for a second and [she] had that look of, in the most elegant, professional, royal way, ‘Yes, it’s a lot having a kid,” he added.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Actor Daniel Craig also had some kind words with Kate at the London premiere of his final James Bond film.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“You look jolly lovely!” he told her, as she graced the red carpet with a glittering gold gown.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Though Craig is unsure as to who will be taking on the spy next, Tom Hardy, Idris Elba, and Henry Cavill are believed to be the top candidates.</span></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Image: Getty Images</span></em></p>

Relationships

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Heartwarming footage of Princess Anne's fumbly Zoom call with the Queen

<div class="body_text "> <p>It appears that everyone is having trouble adapting to our new normal, including the Queen herself.</p> <p>As the coronavirus pandemic has forced many to isolate, many have used Zoom to communicate with their loved ones.</p> <p>However, it can be tricky to use, which the Queen quickly found out and her daughter Princess Anne had to guide her through it.</p> <p>In a preview for a new ITV documentary about Princess Anne, which is airing in celebration of her 70th birthday, footage of a video conference is included with the Queen and Princess Anne herself.</p> <p>"Can you see everybody? You should have six people on your screen," the Princess royal tells her mother.</p> <p>The Queen, who was tuning in from Windsor Castle tells her: "Yes, well, I can see four anyway."</p> <p>"Ok fair enough. Actually, you don't need me," Anne then jovially adds.</p> <p>"You know what I look like."</p> <p>The sweet clip was shared by ITV royal correspondent Chris Ship.</p> <p>"Watch how Princess Anne tried to teach her elderly mother about @zoom_us. But her elderly mother is, err, the Queen," he joked.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">NEW: A first look behind the scenes of those royal video calls 💻 <br />Watch how Princess Anne tried to teach her elderly mother about <a href="https://twitter.com/zoom_us?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@zoom_us</a>. <br />But her elderly mother is, err, the Queen.<br />🎥 A great clip from tomorrow’s documentary ‘Anne: The Princess Royal at 70’ on <a href="https://twitter.com/ITV?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@itv</a> 9pm 👇 <a href="https://t.co/duHzozH2x5">pic.twitter.com/duHzozH2x5</a></p> — Chris Ship (@chrisshipitv) <a href="https://twitter.com/chrisshipitv/status/1288164903111602176?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 28, 2020</a></blockquote> <p>Royal fans loved the new clip.</p> <p> "I want to see the Queen with an accidental tropical island backdrop," one joked.</p> <p>Another fan wrote: "I love it! The whole world deals with zoom in the same way: 'Can you see me?' 'Can you hear me?' 'Am I on?' 'Is my background neat &amp; tidy?' Love their humanity, their humility, and their graciousness."</p> </div>

Technology

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Tennis fans shred Rafael Nadal over blunder in Roger Federer chat

<p>Throughout his incredible career, it has taken a pretty special opponent to make Rafael Nadal worry, but the Spanish great met his match in the form of Instagram Live on Monday.</p> <p>The 33-year-old can make any of his rivals break into a sweat. Whether that’s with his wickedly spinning forehand or backhand, everyone in the tennis world fears his name.</p> <p>But fans on his social media witnessed a completely different side of the Mallorcan as they eagerly awaited his live chat with Swiss legend Roger Federer.</p> <p>He may have 19 Grand Slam titles, one shy of Federer’s all-time men’s record, but when it comes to IT skills, he resembled a Sunday morning park hacker crumbling under pressure.</p> <p>With 40,000 viewers tuning in, a confused Nadal blankly stared into cyberspace, as he tried to work out why Federer, who is currently isolating at home in Switzerland, refused to appear.</p> <p>Eventually to Nadal’s obvious relief, the tennis champion popped up to speak briefly about how he’s dealing with the shutdown amidst the pandemic.</p> <p>“Finally!” said Nadal.</p> <p>Federer revealed he had been practising against a wall, when not spending time with his four children. But Nadal admitted that he hadn’t been training at all. “Perfect! You won’t be able to play tennis any more when you come back,” said a laughing Federer.</p> <p>Federer said the extended lay-off has meant he has had time to rehab his right knee after surgery in February.</p> <p>“I’ve got plenty of time, there is no stress, no rush, if there is a positive that’s it,” he said.</p>

Technology

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Social media and technology mean that dead celebrities can't rest in peace

<p>“To be dead,” wrote the 20th century French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre, “is to be a prey for the living.” Even Sartre, though, would have struggled to imagine casting James Dean in a movie 64 years after the actor’s death.</p> <p>The <a href="https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/afm-james-dean-reborn-cgi-vietnam-war-action-drama-1252703">curious announcement</a> that Dean, who died in a car crash in 1955 having made just three films, will star in a movie adaptation of Gareth Crocker’s Vietnam War novel Finding Jack, has been met with <a href="https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/james-dean-finding-jack-digital-actor-backlash-controversy-172502291.html">outrage</a>.</p> <p>It would be a remarkable CGI achievement for any studio to resurrect an actor who has been dead since the Eisenhower administration.</p> <p>True, the Star Wars movie Rogue One featured the late Peter Cushing “reprising” his role as Grand Moff Tarkin. But the new role given to Dean would reportedly be far larger and more complex. Cushing, at least, had already played Tarkin while he was alive.</p> <p>In Finding Jack, “James Dean” will supposedly be starring in a film based on a novel written 80 years after he was born, set near the end of a war that started after he died. He will reportedly be reanimated via “full body” CGI using actual footage and photos; another actor will voice him.</p> <p>The reaction to this goes beyond mere scepticism, however. Nor is it simply the now-familiar post-truth anxiety about no longer being able to tell what’s real and what isn’t. The rise of “<a href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&amp;rct=j&amp;q=&amp;esrc=s&amp;source=web&amp;cd=12&amp;cad=rja&amp;uact=8&amp;ved=2ahUKEwi_392QhdjlAhVLdCsKHQ_zC5gQFjALegQIAhAB&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2019%2F06%2F10%2Fopinion%2Fdeepfake-pelosi-video.html&amp;usg=AOvVaw2qK3CZZjtPtJJcix9JXZ4X">deepfakes</a>” presents a much greater threat on that front than bringing dead actors back to life.</p> <p>What’s at work here is another pervasive challenge of the online era: how we should live with the digital dead.</p> <p>People die online every day. Social media is increasingly full of <a href="http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s13347-011-0050-7">electric corpses</a>; at some point <a href="http://www.ox.ac.uk/news/2019-04-29-digital-graveyards-are-dead-taking-over-facebook">the dead will outnumber the living</a> on platforms like Facebook. This already poses a range of <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10676-015-9379-4">ethical and practical problems</a>. Some of these are the subject of a <a href="https://www.lawreform.justice.nsw.gov.au/Pages/lrc/lrc_current_projects/Digital%20assets/Project-update.aspx">NSW Law Reform Commission inquiry</a> into how we should deal with the digital assets of the dead and incapacitated.</p> <p><strong>Reanimation</strong></p> <p>These issues only get thornier once you add in the prospect of reanimation.</p> <p>For most of this decade, digital immortality was confined to press releases and fiction. A string of start-ups promised breathlessly to let you cheat death via AI-driven avatars, only to disappear when it became clear their taglines were better than their products. (The <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/media/shortcuts/2013/feb/18/death-social-media-liveson-deadsocial">Twitter app LivesOn’s</a> “When your heart stops beating, you’ll keep tweeting” was undeniably clever).</p> <p>“Be Right Back,” a 2013 episode of the TV series Black Mirror, imagined a young woman who signs up for a service that brings her dead partner back to life using his social media footprint: first as a chat bot, then as a phone-based voice simulator, and finally as a lifelike automaton. It was brilliant, bleak television, but thankfully, it wasn’t real.</p> <p>Then in late 2015, 34-year-old Roman Mazurenko died in an accident in Moscow. As a tribute, his best friend, fellow tech entrepreneur Eugenia Kuyda, <a href="https://www.theverge.com/a/luka-artificial-intelligence-memorial-roman-mazurenko-bot">built the texts</a> Mazurenko had sent her into a chat bot.</p> <p>You can download Roman Mazurenko right now, wherever you get your apps, and talk to a dead man. Internet immortality might not be here yet, not quite, but it’s unsettlingly close.</p> <p><strong>Between remembrance and exploitation</strong></p> <p>Sadly, it’s not an immortality we could look forward to. When we fear death, one thing we particularly dread is the end of first-person experience.</p> <p>Think of the experience you’re having reading this article. Someone else could be reading exactly the same words at the same time. But their experience will lack whatever it is that makes this your experience. That’s what scares us: if you die, that quality, what it’s like to be you, won’t exist anymore. And there is, to mangle <a href="https://ethics.org.au/ethics-explainer-what-is-it-like-to-be-a-bat/">a famous line from Thomas Nagel</a>, nothing it is like to be a bot.</p> <p>But what about living on for other people? The Mazurenko bot is clearly a work of mourning, and a work of love. Remembering the dead, <a href="http://sorenkierkegaard.org/works-of-love.html">wrote Kierkegaard</a>, is the freest and most unselfish work of love, for the dead can neither force us to remember them nor reward us for doing so. But memory is fragile and attention is fickle.</p> <p>It seems reasonable that we might use our new toys to help the dead linger in the lifeworld, to escape oblivion a little longer. The danger, as the philosopher <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/05568641.2015.1014538">Adam Buben has put it</a>, is that memorialisation could slip into replacement.</p> <p>An interactive avatar of the dead might simply become a stopgap, something you use to fill part of the hole the dead leave in our lives. That risks turning the dead into yet another resource for the living. The line between remembrance and exploitation is surprisingly porous.</p> <p>That is what’s ultimately troubling about resurrecting James Dean. To watch a James Dean movie is to encounter, in some palpable way, the concrete person. Something of the face-to-face encounter survives the mediation of lens, celluloid and screen.</p> <p>To make a new James Dean movie is something else. It’s to use the visual remains of Dean as a workable resource instead of letting him be who he is. Worse, it suggests that James Dean can be replaced, just as algorithm-driven avatars might come to replace, rather than simply commemorate, the dead.</p> <p>We’ll know in time whether Finding Jack can live up to its likely premature hype. Even if it doesn’t, the need to think about how we protect the dead from our digital predations isn’t going away.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/127211/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: http://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/patrick-stokes-10346">Patrick Stokes</a>, Associate Professor of Philosophy, <a href="http://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a></em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="http://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/chat-bots-james-dean-can-the-digital-dead-rest-in-peace-127211">original article</a>.</em></p>

Technology

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If I had one hour to talk to anyone past or present, it would be…

<p>Last month, we asked the Over60 community, “if you could sit on a bench and chat for one hour with anyone from the past or present, who would it be?” You absolutely blew us away with all your responses, so we thought we’d collect our favourites. Here’s what you had to say.</p> <p><strong>1. </strong>“Definitely my dad. He died way too soon. I still think about him all the time and how much I miss him. I would like him to know how much I still remember all the good things and how important it is to respect and love each other, especially our loved ones. There are so many special memories I will never forget.” – <strong>Sue Payne</strong></p> <p><strong>2.</strong> “My first husband, lost him 34 years ago, I've never been really happy since then. No one can ever replace him. I still miss him so much.” <strong>– Emilie Cortez</strong></p> <p><strong>3.</strong> “I would like to chat with me, as a young girl at 14 years old. I would talk to 'her' about the lessons I have learned in life and advise 'her' to appreciate what she has, for loved ones are with us for such a short time. I would tell 'her' how much she is loved and needed, to be strong and have confidence in herself and 'her' own abilities.” <strong>– Kathy Atkinson</strong></p> <p><strong>4. </strong>“As much as I loved my parents, I would have to say my son who I lost coming up to eight years. The hardest part of losing him was that I never got to say goodbye. Never a day goes by without me thinking about him. They say that the pain gets easier, but believe me, it doesn't.” <strong>– Lorraine Greet</strong></p> <p><strong>5.</strong> “My foster mum and dad. They both passed many years ago, but it would be so great to have an hour with them so I could let them know how very grateful I am that they chose me and how much I love them both.” <strong>– Sandy Whitlock</strong></p> <p><strong>6.</strong> “My great-grandfather who emigrated from Ireland, to discover more about my heritage perhaps, as the destruction of Ireland's civil records in the 1916 uprising make it impossible to go back beyond Australian records.” <strong>– Shane Molloy</strong></p> <p><strong>7.</strong> “My mum and dad. You don't realise until years later, there was a lot you didn't know about your parents, because they never talked about their problems, they kept it to themselves. Plus, there's a lot of things I wish I'd told them while they were alive.”<strong> – Dianne Mark</strong></p> <p><strong>8.</strong> “If only I could sit with my late husband, to be able to say goodbye and tell him how much I loved him and what a hole has been left in my life without him.” <strong>– Helen Jackson</strong></p> <p><strong>9.</strong> “I'd like to sit with my long-time bestie Karen. We need a face to face vent, gossip, chinwag. An hour wouldn't be long enough.” <strong>– Lynn Ashton</strong></p> <p><strong>10.</strong> “Probably my late mate, and there wouldn't be too many spoken words, we went pretty close to knowing what each other was going to say.” <strong>– Carlo Ferluga</strong></p> <p><strong>11.</strong> “I would say my grandmother. Such an interesting human being. A grandma that truly was there for us. She was so respected by all. As we grew up we all loved her even more. Miss you Nan, grateful for having had you in my life.” <strong>– Teresa Goyak</strong></p> <p><strong>12.</strong> “It would be my twin sister. She has been gone 5 years now. I have just become a grandmother and she would have been so excited for me.” <strong>– Cheryl Spackman</strong></p> <p>Tell us in the comments below, if you could sit on a bench and chat for one hour with anyone from the past or present, who would it be?</p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/caring/2017/01/optimism-improves-longevity/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Looking on the bright side can lead to longer life</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/caring/2017/01/why-we-cry/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>The real reason behind why we cry</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/caring/2016/12/saying-goodbye-to-my-dying-grandmother/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>The long goodbye: precious time with my dying grandmother</strong></em></span></a></p>

Caring

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The romance that started in a chat room

<p><em><strong>Over60 community member Robyn Green, 60, from Byron Shire, NSW, never set out to meet a potential husband when she started talking to people on internet chat websites, but 15 years later she’s glad it turned out that way.</strong></em></p> <p>“I met my husband Mark, 52, online 15 years ago. In my case, it was not a dating website, rather a chat site. At the time, I worked long hours and was a supporting parent of a teenager. I’m not a drinker or someone who goes to pubs or clubs, so there were few opportunities for me to meet people outside of clients or work colleagues.</p> <p>Chat rooms (or chat websites) were a way to connect with people all around the world. I was at that time not interested in an internet romance. I used a website called ICQ, which may or may not still be operating. Folks from all around the world would just log on and chat. My regular chat partners included a 15-year-old Vietnamese boy in Darwin, a 73-year-old poet from Tenterfield, NSW, a chap who ran dog sleds in Alaska, a Canadian IT worker and a young lass from France.</p> <p>After a while I ‘met’ online a Sydney woman and another chap from Sydney (where I lived at the time). He introduced me online to a friend of his from Goulburn and all four of us would meet up online several times a week and just joke around and share news. The gentleman from Goulburn is the one I ended up marrying some while down the track.</p> <p>At the time of first meeting, Mark and I both had partners, dates if you like. Neither were long term or serious. We learnt a lot about each other online so when the time came that his Sydney friend offered to take me to Goulburn on a weekend trip with him, I was comfortable to do so. Mark and I hit it off just as well in person as we had online. There were no surprises as we had shared many deep and meaningful conversations online and knew what each other felt about life in general. After the first meeting we kept in touch, both on the phone and online. Both our short-term relationships faded away.</p> <p>It wasn’t until a particularly stressful week where Mark offered to host me and my grandson (a 10 month old) for a weekend getaway that romance blossomed from there. We kept in touch online each night and by phone and visited each other on alternate weekends until, as fate would have it he was posted to Sydney. The rest is history. While we both like to travel, when it comes to other interests, we’re pretty much polar opposites. We both share the same life values and philosophies, but we approach things from totally different angles. One slightly amusing aside is that as we were both used to typing online conversations to each other, when we talked in person we found ourselves ‘air typing’ as we spoke – rather like air guitar but not as energetic!</p> <p>Technology is a great way to connect people – if you use discernment and take your time. It is safe (if you take precautions) and you’re not distracted by all the physical nuances that might otherwise prevent you from getting to know someone on a deeper level. You can talk to people anywhere in the world, from any walk of life. You can learn so much and can share your pain or your wisdom.</p> <p>There are so many websites now for individual issues. For example, I currently have parents with dementia and there are websites for carers or people with dementia, or family members etc. We can all come together, share questions, rail against the pain of the disease or have a laugh when all around seems so bleak. It doesn’t matter if I am in Australia and others are not, we are all going through similar things and the fellowship and shared information is invaluable. Sometimes you end up meeting, sometimes you don’t, but you share all the same. </p> <p>When it comes to trying to meet people online, I can only say that it worked for me, my brother and sister, and Mark’s brother. We are all married to or in long-term relationships with people we met on the internet. This is purely by chance and none of us knew the other was meeting people from the internet – it just happened that way. I’ve never tried a dating website so I can’t attest to any of those but simply finding a chat website that works for you. Use interests or life issues as a starting point, or simply take a deep breath and jump in!</p> <p>I think the issue of people being wary of meeting people over the internet is an important one. Always use caution, your brain and for me, humour. Don’t give personal information, such as address or phone number for a long time. I really needed to know someone well before I’d hand out a phone number and I rarely did that. Don’t agree to meet up at your home or theirs, keep things public. You can be whoever you want to be in a chat room, so remember folks aren’t always what they seem, some are living a fantasy life in cyberspace and some are con artists. But, if you take your time, have fun and use your intelligence, you can meet some really nice people. Of the few that I met in person – both men and women – none were a surprise to me face to face. I had come to know them well enough online that when I met them in person, it was just like meeting an old friend.”</p>

Relationships