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Stormy seas ahead: Why confidence in the cruise industry has plummeted

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jennifer-holland-969445">Jennifer Holland</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-suffolk-3830">University of Suffolk</a> The cruise industry has weathered many storms, including fairly regular brushes with disease. Outbreaks of <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/nceh/vsp/pub/norovirus/norovirus.htm">norovirus</a>, <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3294517/">H1N1</a> and <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/02/world/americas/measles-scientology-cruise-ship.html">measles</a> have all happened in the not too distant past. Despite this, a cruise has traditionally been regarded as a safe holiday – the kind where you don’t have to worry about a thing. COVID-19 has changed this. Cruise ships were a hotbed of transmission during the early stages of the pandemic, particularly the Diamond Princess, which was quarantined for six weeks in Japan in spring 2020. It had over <a href="https://www.bmj.com/content/369/bmj.m1632">700 confirmed cases</a>, and for a period was the world’s <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/live/2020/feb/20/coronavirus-live-updates-diamond-princess-cruise-ship-japan-deaths-latest-news-china-infections?page=with:block-5e4ea39f8f0811db2fafb3ec#block-5e4ea39f8f0811db2fafb3ec">leading COVID-19 hotspot</a> after China. Coverage of this and other ships’ outbreaks has taken its toll. <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S259019822100035X">Research</a> that I conducted with colleagues in Australia shows that the pandemic has changed how people think of cruise holidays. We surveyed over 600 people in the UK and Australia, both cruisers and non-cruisers, to ask them about their willingness to cruise and future travel intentions, to explore how COVID-19 has affected perceptions of travel and cruise risks. Nearly 45% of interviewees had less belief than before the pandemic that cruise lines are transparent and honest about safety or health issues. Respondents were also fearful of going on a cruise, with 47% saying they don’t trust cruise lines to look after them if something goes wrong. This is staggering for an industry that depends on repeat customers. We further found that 67% of people are less willing to cruise as a result of the pandemic, while 69% said they feel less positive about cruising now. What’s most surprising is that even repeat cruisers said they feel nervous about cruising as a result of the pandemic, with this emotion coming up repeatedly in the survey’s open-ended questions. This is a gamechanger. Until now, loyal cruisers have always come back, with previous disease outbreaks having <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0261517716300309">little</a> <a href="http://ijbssnet.com/journals/Vol_4_No_7_July_2013/2.pdf">impact</a>. <h2>What went wrong?</h2> When the pandemic began, cruise ships immediately suffered high infection rates among passengers and crew. During the first wave, thousands were <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/27/stranded-at-sea-cruise-ships-around-the-world-are-adrift-as-ports-turn-them-away">stranded onboard</a> ships as they were held in quarantine or <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0160738320302103?via%3Dihub">refused entry to ports</a> as borders closed. By the end of April 2020, <a href="https://www.miamiherald.com/news/business/tourism-cruises/article241640166.html">over 50 cruise ships</a> had confirmed cases of COVID-19 and at least 65 deaths had occurred among passengers and crew. The story of one ship – the Ruby Princess – gained particular attention. Its passengers were allowed to disembark in Sydney in mid-March, with a number carrying the virus. The ship would go on to be linked to more than <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-53802816">900 COVID-19 cases and 28 deaths</a>. The state of New South Wales later launched a <a href="https://www.dpc.nsw.gov.au/assets/dpc-nsw-gov-au/publications/The-Special-Commission-of-Inquiry-into-the-Ruby-Princess-Listing-1628/Report-of-the-Special-Commission-of-Inquiry-into-the-Ruby-Princess.pdf">public inquiry</a> into the ship’s outbreak and found that the state’s ministry of health made a number of serious errors in allowing passengers to get off. It didn’t take long for cruises to be depicted as <a href="https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-03-24/virus-explosion-in-australia-exposes-cruise-ships-hidden-menace">places of danger and infection</a>, particularly in Australia. Lots of information about COVID-19 on cruise ships was published, especially about the <a href="https://cruiseradio.net/the-cruise-ship-story-mainstream-media-got-wrong/">Ruby Princess</a>, grabbing the <a href="https://trends.google.com/trends/explore?date=today%205-y&q=Ruby%20Princess">public’s attention</a>. Undoubtedly, this amplified people’s perceptions of risk around cruise holidays. Our study found that the many stories on COVID-19 also reminded the public of previous illnesses and outbreaks onboard cruise ships. Given the high intensity of media interest in Australia, we weren’t surprised to find that perceived risks were higher there compared with the UK, with willingness to cruise lower. This suggests that there could be regional differences in how difficult it is for the industry to recover after the pandemic. <h2>What happens next?</h2> Most respondents in the study said they would wait until it was safe to cruise again – and there’s probably a long way to go on changing the current perception of cruise ships as giant incubators of disease. It’s doubtful pent-up demand from loyal cruisers will be enough to fill cruise ships to capacity – which is critical for <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1057%2Fs41278-020-00158-3">long-term economic viability</a> – and so <a href="https://theconversation.com/can-the-cruise-industry-really-recover-from-coronavirus-144704">financial uncertainty</a> grows. The pandemic has been <a href="https://cruising.org/-/media/Facts-and-Resources/Cruise-Industry-COVID-19-FAQs_August-13-2020">catastrophic</a> for the industry so far, with financial losses of US$50 billion (£36 billion), 1.17 million job losses, 18 cruise ships sold or scrapped and at least <a href="https://www.maritime-executive.com/article/cmv-becomes-the-third-cruise-line-to-go-out-of-business-in-a-month">three cruise lines stopping trading</a>. Before the pandemic, a new cruise ship was built <a href="https://www.seatrade-cruise.com/news-headlines/golden-age-med-ports-need-prepare-new-generation-large-ships">every 47 days</a>, and off the back of the industry’s robust growth over the past two decades another <a href="https://cruising.org/en-gb/news-and-research/research/2020/december/state-of-the-cruise-industry-outlook-2021">19 ships</a> are due to enter operation in 2021, despite demand very likely to have fallen. To recover, the industry will need to address people’s perceptions of risk, which our research shows have heightened. Risk perception has a <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/004728759803700209">significant influence</a> on holiday decision-making, and it will be even more critical post-COVID. In the wake of the pandemic, would-be cruisers will need to think about health protocols, outbreak prevention plans, onboard sanitation procedures, social distancing measures and health screenings. Also, they’ll need to consider the implications of potential outbreaks during the cruise. These could result in being quarantined in their cabin, needing to access healthcare, or even the cruise being terminated. All of this creates uncertainty, which adds to perceptions of risk. The industry will need to provide reassuring answers on all of these points to entice holidaymakers back onboard. Cruise companies will also need to convince customers that they are trustworthy and accountable, given the concerns about honesty and transparency raised by our research. Overall, the sector has been devastated by the pandemic. Possibly no other area of tourism has been as widely affected. A return to the robust growth enjoyed previously is unlikely for many years, if ever. But for there to be any chance of this happening, the industry must understand how the pandemic has affected people’s perceptions of cruises and address their concerns.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/152146/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jennifer-holland-969445">Jennifer Holland</a>, Lecturer in Tourism, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-suffolk-3830">University of Suffolk</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/stormy-seas-ahead-confidence-in-the-cruise-industry-has-plummeted-due-to-covid-19-152146">original article</a>.

Cruising

Mamma Mia! 3 receives confident update from producer

Mamma Mia! Here we go again! Judy Craymer, the creator and producer of the beloved musical comedies, has revealed there could be a third instalment. In an interview with Deadline, discussing the Mamma Mia! I have a Dream talent show on ITV, Craymer shared a confident Mamma Mia! 3 update. "It’s in its earliest stages... I don’t want to over-egg it, but I know there’s a trilogy there. There is a story there, and I do think Meryl should come back — and if the script is right, she would, I think, because she really loved playing Donna,” she said. Craymer’s comments come after a long line of remarks made about a possible third movie, with her saying in 2020 that it was always "meant to be a trilogy." Even though the producer said it's in the early stages of development, it’s unclear when there will be an official announcement from Universal. Familiar faces Stellan Skarsgård, Christine Baranski, Lily James, Dominic Cooper, Colin Firth, and Pierce Brosnan have all expressed interest in returning to reprise their respective roles. Craymer also revealed in her interview that she has come up with a way to bring back all the franchise’s favourite characters, including the iconic Meryl Streep. Bringing back every member of the franchise’s massive ensemble cast might be why the third instalment has made little progress in recent years, but Craymer remains confident that the next instalment will go ahead. Image credit: Getty/Instagram

Movies

Jamie Lee Curtis on ageing in Hollywood

Hollywood star Jamie Lee Curtis has taken a swipe at society’s emphasis on youth, no more apparent than in her own industry. The 59-year-old, visiting Sydney to promote new movie Halloween, the sequel to the 1978 horror classic of the same name, spoke of her dislike of the term “anti-ageing”. “The term anti-ageing makes me crazy, the amount of marketing towards anti-ageing and making it a pejorative,” Curtis told <a href="https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/entertainment/sydney-confidential/actor-jamie-lee-curtis-on-why-the-term-antiageing-makes-her-angry/news-story/eec877ecef45fbb08670b1d872d2f8d5">The Daily Telegraph</a>. “(Ageing) cannot be the pejorative because it happens to everybody. It is like everything else, it is an evolution,” said the actor. Curtis’ comments come at an apt time in her career. She has reprised her iconic role as Laurie Strode, who took on serial killer Michael Myers 40 years ago on Halloween. Decades on, her character, now a grandmother, is still deeply affected by their battle but is as strong as ever and more than ready for the next round. The actress too, seems at the top of her game. The sequel is raking it in at the US box office, and not only is she a formidable performer in the film, but it was really Curtis doing many of the fight scenes too. “I am sitting here in my very nice red suit but this movie was obviously not a glamorous job and I am grateful that I get that opportunity,” she admitted to the publication. “Every fight is me.” “I am fit but I am not a gym rat. It is just what we do. It is the nature of the beast — it is physical and it is painful. I cracked a rib, that is what happens.” But Curtis, the daughter of Janet Leigh – who memorably starred in another iconic horror Psycho – and matinee idol Tony Curtis, has previously acknowledged her “struggle with my own self-esteem” when it comes to her body. She says she’s found a way to deal with it. “So I have a big secret: I don’t look in the mirror,” Curtis told <a href="https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/entertainment/a22993869/jamie-lee-curtis-confidence-secrets/">Good Housekeeping</a> in a recent interview. “I’m a 60-year-old woman. I am not going to look the same as I used to, and I don’t want to be confronted by that every day! When I get out of the shower, I have a choice: I can dry myself off looking in the mirror, or I can dry myself off with my back to it. I turn my back to the mirror and I feel great!” The actress, who also counts children’s author, entrepreneur and budding screenwriter on her resume, has an inspiring message about chasing and realising creative passions saying she has “no time to waste”. “On the very clear passage of 50s to 60s, I have no time to waste,” said Curtis. “None. If you have creative ideas and you don’t bring them out into the world in some way before you go, that is a tragedy.” Images: Getty

Movies

5 steps to help you speak your mind

Whether it’s at work, with friends, or with your family, saying what you really think often sounds like a bad idea. But holding back from telling people what’s going on in your head can also cause problems, as you are bottling up your emotions and never letting them out. So how do you speak your mind in a way that gets your point across, without hurting people’s feelings or alienating them? Try to remove the emotion This can be tough, but avoid crying or yelling (if you can!) and speak in a calm, clear manner. You are much more likely to get your point across if people can understand you and see that you are talking from a level head. When you act calm, even if you’re not, it makes other people see you as more confident. Shouting often has the opposite effect, as people can begin to tune out to what you are saying. You could try something like ‘I can see that your new girlfriend makes you happy. However I feel that you may be moving too quickly, and I don’t think you should have to stop seeing your friends just because you are dating somebody.’ Use positive words Try to steer clear of extremes like ‘You always…’ or ‘I never…’ Instead, focus on what you would like to happen, and be specific. So instead of ‘You only want to see me when you need me to babysit your children’ you could say ‘I would like to spend one afternoon a week together just the two of us, doing something special.’ Explain both sides It’s easy to get caught up with ‘I’ and ‘me’ when you are getting your point across, but thinking of the other person’s perspective can be very useful for being heard. People naturally think ‘What’s in it for me? Why should I listen to this?’ so tailor your argument towards that. So instead of ‘I think you work too much’ you could say ‘I’m worried that your hours are too long and you are going to get burnt out. We don’t see each other as often as we used to, and I miss spending time with you. How can I help you to see that money isn’t everything?’ Ask yourself what’s the worst that could happen At first you may be too worried about the ‘what ifs’ of speaking your mind. But ask yourself, honestly, what is the very worst thing that could happen if you do? Sure, people might initially feel upset or hurt if what you’re saying hits a nerve, but in the long run most would understand that you were saying how you felt so that you could make things better. Accept that it may not be worth it Sometimes you have to choose your battles, so if you know that speaking your mind will only cause ill-feeling and no good will come of it – let it go. Some things are not worth losing a friend over (like bad lipstick choices) whereas other things are too important to hold in (like issues with drugs or gambling). A good way to decide whether to speak up is to think ‘will anything change if I speak up?’ If not, perhaps let it slide. Image credits: Getty Images

Mind

“Patience, confidence, courage, solidarity”: Prince Albert of Monaco's health update and personal message

<div class="post_body_wrapper"> <div class="post_body"> <div class="body_text "> Prince Albert II of Monaco recently tested positive for COVID-19 last week, and has finally given a health update to the curious public. The reigning monarch is the second royal to contract the deadly virus, and over the weekend, People Magazine was able to give a look into the Prince’s condition. The 62-year-old is improving his health slowly and steadily as he continues to work from the confines of his home, under his doctor’s orders. “A little news. Condition unchanged. Little fever, little cough,” Prince Rainier III, who is the son of Princess Grace of Monaco told <a rel="noopener noreferrer" href="https://people.com/royals/prince-albert-health-update-after-coronavirus-diagnosis/" target="_blank" title="People Magazine. ">People Magazine.</a> “Vital signs all good. The doctors are satisfied for now.” Prince Albert, who falls into the category of high-risk coronavirus patients, is undergoing regular temperature checks, and is consistently receiving news on his blood oxygen levels. An insider to the family has said the king messages, emails and calls ranging from celebrities and politicians to regular everyday people has been touching. Issuing a statement on his behalf, the Palace said Prince Albert was grateful and “touched by the many expressions of sympathy that have come to him from around the world.” “His Serene Highness wishes to thank all those who have shown him their support.” The prince tested anonymously last week in a bid to avoid being treated differently in the healthcare system. The royal exhibited mild flu-like symptoms and was later confirmed to have the virus by the labs of the hospital named after his late mother, Princess Grace of Monaco. It is understood Prince Albert is still unsure of where he could've come in contact with the virus. The royal signed off his official palace statement with a handwritten message of “patience, confidence, courage, solidarity” in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic. There are concerns for 71-year-old Prince Charles, who Prince Albert was with just days prior to his diagnosis as both royals attended the WaterAid Summit on March 10. Thankfully, it is believed Prince Charles did not come into contact with Albert during the event, and he has gone so far as to avoid handshakes during engagements and events since the beginning of March. </div> </div> </div> <div class="post-action-bar-component-wrapper"> <div class="post-actions-component"> <div class="upper-row"> <div class="watched-bookmark-container"></div> </div> </div> </div>

Caring

How to: Dating with confidence

Marina’s advice on dating with confidence will assist you to begin to make changes in the way you believe, think and feel about yourself so you can begin moving towards fulfilling your love goal with confidence. Confidence equals attraction Confidence has been attributed to the greatest attraction factor for both men and women. So let’s start by becoming clear about what confidence is. Basically confidence is being comfortable in your own skin – confidence reflects what you think and feel about your abilities. Therefore, I know my worth, I know my life matters, I know how to promote my internal assets and more importantly I pursue my goals with passion and purpose. Confidence is not about trying to be like others – confidence is accepting yourself as you are and allowing your uniqueness to shine. Know your worth So, what it is the fastest way to increase your confidence? Knowing that your life has meaning and that your contributions to the world are of value is one of the quickest and fastest ways to increase your confidence. But confidence is not something we can fake. It is a feeling we give out to others – people feel what we think and believe about ourselves. A common mistake many people make when they begin dating is that they only focus on their external assets; their hair, going to the gym, losing weight, buying a new wardrobe or a new car, Botox and the list goes on. Although good looks, sexy clothes and a great body may attract men and women to you it is no guarantee that they will fall in love with you or want to establish a long term relationship. Research informs us that men do not necessarily fall in love with the prettiest and sexiest of women and not all women fall for the best looking guy (or the one with the most money). Tips to increase your Dating Confidence Let go of past relationships and attachments: This is one of the biggest reasons why people prevent the right partner from finding them. They are still emotionally attached to a past love/s. Make a list of your strengths and your good qualities: Become clear about why you are a great catch and more importantly why you will no longer accept anything less than what you deserve. Remember having something is not better than having nothing; particularly when it comes to love. Break free from your comfort zone: Are you still doing the same thing you always have to find the love of your life? Then the chances are high that you will keep attracting the same type of person or situation. Re-evaluate and then re-create your “must-list”: Think about what is on your ‘must have’ list when it comes to a partner. Then look honestly at yourself and identify what qualities you could still do some work on to strengthen. Then take positive steps to become the best you can be to attract the person you would like in your life. Remember, like attracts like! Spend time with friends that celebrate you: The calmer and happier you are, the more confident you will feel about attracting your special person. The way people treat us directly impacts on our self-esteem. Read more from Marina about how to find new love <a href="https://www.wyza.com.au/lifestyle/boomer-life/preparing-for-love-in-your-50s.aspx">here.</a> Written by Marina Bakker. Republished with permission of <a href="https://www.wyza.com.au/articles/lifestyle/relationships/dating-with-confidence.aspx">Wyza.com.au.</a>

Caring

Styling tips for over-60s – be confident in what you wear

I’m not naturally rebellious, but as the years go by there are rules I find irritating to say the least; in particular I get annoyed about ‘rules’ on what I should or should not wear. At the age of 63, I figure I am only responsible to myself as to how I dress. Not that I plan hanging out on a nudist beach any time soon, but after years in the corporate world it is a relief to no longer wear a ‘uniform’ – actual or perceived. Coincidentally, as I now have the freedom to wear what I want, I have also taken a much stronger interest in my personal presentation. I understand the importance of self-image and take the time to get dressed and feel my best. I have a personal rule that I won’t go to the shops unless I am tidily dressed and have added a pop of lipstick. It was too easy in my early retirement to hang around all day in gardening clothes, but I quickly found that I felt bad when I did so. So, in figuring out what clothes work for me in my retirement (I prefer to call it re-wirement) I have learned a lot about what works for my body and my lifestyle. I have determined my personal style. I hang out in some online style groups, I share my ‘#everydaystyle’ (thanks to Nikki Parkinson of <a href="http://www.stylingyou.com.au/">Styling You</a> for that inspiration) on Instagram, and I dress to please myself. I know what makes me feel confident and what doesn’t. I know I like a balance of style and comfort. I know I like to be aware of the latest trends and colours, but not be a slave to them. And I know that a lot of the so-called style rules don’t work for me. I don’t own a crisp white button up shirt – I’m tall and a bit overweight with short hair – I look butch in that style. I do wear distressed skinny jeans – skinny jeans suit my shape and flatter my legs (one of my best assets). I like the distressed look as one of my nods to current trends. I do sometimes wear dresses and skirts above my knee, again because my legs are good. I don’t wear super mini skirts like I did in my late teens and 20s but I won’t have anyone tell me I can’t. I don’t because I would spend all day tugging at the skirt. That’s the same reason I haven’t embraced the off-the-shoulder trend; I hate strapless bras and I don’t want to be fussing with a top that pops up (or heaven forbid, down!). I rarely wear high heels because I get a sore back and ankles when I do, but I do like an ankle boot with a low heel and I am a great fan of kicks. I can stay current without breaking my neck and those styles suit my lifestyle. I know that my wardrobe needs to be travel friendly because we travel domestically a lot and internationally when we can. That dictates the fabrics that I select – I love natural fibres but silk isn’t practical for me. Unlike my legs, my arms aren’t in great shape, so I don’t often wear a sleeveless dress or top. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t – I see plenty of women older than me with great muscle definition rocking sleeveless tops. So, I only have one ‘rule’ to share with you. Know what suits you, what you can afford and what makes you feel your best. Wear that! Written by Jan Wild. Republished with permission of <a href="https://www.wyza.com.au/articles/lifestyle/in-praise-of/in-praise-of-personal-style.aspx">Wyza.com.au.</a>

Art

Why confidence can be a bad thing

Stuart Beattie is a Lecturer of Psychology at Bangor University. Tim Woodman is Professor and Head of the School of Sport, Health and Exercise Sciences at Bangor University. Have you ever felt 100 per cent confident in your ability to complete a task, and then failed miserably? After <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/tennis/40347469" target="_blank">losing in the first</a> round at Queen’s Club in June for the first time since 2012, world number one tennis player, Andy Murray, hinted that “overconfidence” might have been his downfall. Reflecting on his early exit, <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/tennis/40349519" target="_blank">Murray said</a>, “Winning a tournament is great and you feel good afterwards, but you can also sometimes think that your game is in a good place and maybe become a little bit more relaxed in that week beforehand.” There is no doubt that success breeds confidence, and in turn, the confidence gained from success positively influences performance – normally. However, recently, this latter part of the relationship between confidence and performance has been called into doubt. High confidence can have its drawbacks. One may only need to look at the results of the <a href="https://theconversation.com/where-it-all-went-wrong-for-theresa-may-79219?sr=5" target="_blank">recent general election</a> to note that Theresa May called for an early election partly based on her confidence to win an overall majority. <a href="http://ipep.bangor.ac.uk/confidence.php" target="_blank">Our research</a> at the Institute for the Psychology of Elite Performance at Bangor University has extensively examined the relationship between confidence and performance. So, what are the advantages and disadvantages of having high (or indeed low) levels of confidence for an upcoming task? Confidence and performance First, let’s look at the possible outcomes of having low confidence (some form of <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/psycinfo/2010-12916-001" target="_blank">self-doubt</a>). Low confidence is the state of thinking that we are not quite ready to face an upcoming task. In this case, one of two things happens: either <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19744355" target="_blank">we disengage</a> from the task, or we invest extra effort into preparing for it. In one of our studies participants were required to <a href="https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/240e/c8b5df5f3763819537d97ebe3e1887ae345a.pdf" target="_blank">skip with a rope</a> continuously for one minute. Participants were then told that they had to repeat the task but using a more difficult rope to skip with (in fact it was the same type of rope). Results revealed that confidence decreased but performance improved. In this case, self-doubt can be quite beneficial. Now let’s consider the role of overconfidence. A high level of confidence is usually helpful for performing tasks because it can lead you to strive for difficult goals. But high confidence can also be detrimental when it causes you to lower the amount of effort you give towards these goals. Overconfidence often makes people no longer feel the need to invest all of their effort – think of the confident student who studies less for an upcoming exam. Interestingly, some of our <a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1469029211000227" target="_blank">research findings</a> show that when people are faced with immediate feedback after a golf putting task (knowing exactly how well you have just performed), confidence expectations (number of putts they thought they could make next) far exceeded actual obtained performance levels by as much as 46 per cent. When confidence is miscalibrated (believing you are better than you really are), it will have a negative effect on subsequent task performance. This overconfidence in our ability to perform a task seems to be a subconscious process, and it looks like it is here to stay. Fortunately, in the long term the pros of being overconfident (reaching for the stars) seem to far outweigh the cons (task failure) because if at first you do not succeed you can always try again. But miscalibrated confidence will be more likely to occur if vital <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/spy/5/1/1/" target="_blank">performance information</a> regarding your previous levels of performance accomplishments is either ignored or not available. When this happens people tend to overestimate rather than underestimate their abilities. Written by Stuart Beattie and Tim Woodman. First appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/" target="_blank">The Conversation</a>.<img width="1" height="1" src="https://counter.theconversation.edu.au/content/79852/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-advanced" alt="The Conversation"/>

Mind

How to build your confidence

Take a moment to consider what might be getting in the way of your confidence: what is it that might be stopping you becoming a more confident person? A bit of reflection can help you work this out. Inner critic Often what stops you can be as simple as that internal, self-critical voice, the one in your head that constantly judges and snipes at you, undermining your confidence. This voice is seldom rooted in reality – how do you know, really, what that stranger in the train carriage thinks of you? Challenge it. That critical voice is sapping your confidence. Question it. What actual evidence do you have for what it’s telling you? In reality, you can have no real idea of what another person thinks, and the look on their face probably has nothing to do with you but comes from their own thoughts, anxieties and preoccupations. Why should you care, anyway? Counter your inner critic with more positive affirmations – those that are as accepting, tolerant and loving of yourself as you would like to be of those around you. Self-sabotage This can be a feature of our inner critic. Sometimes, when we are unconfident about something, we unconsciously do things that either stop us trying, or prove ourselves right. We set ourselves up to fail, and then tell ourselves, ‘There, I was right, I knew it was impossible.’ Self-sabotage is an unhelpful strategy because, ultimately, it prevents you from doing things that could be successful and might help enhance your confidence about future efforts. Imposter syndrome This is akin to self-sabotage, but very different from faking it (see page 73) because it stems from a lack of self-belief. You imagine that you will be somehow found out as an imposter, not really capable of what you say you can do – even though you’re doing it! This comes from an insecure place within and sometimes happens when we’ve made a recent step in progress but our confidence in our ability to do so has not kept pace. Instead of thinking what’s been achieved is good, it’s undermined by the suspicion that we’ll somehow get found out. This is also a voice that the inner critic sometimes uses: identify it for what it is, then ignore it. Catastrophising Imagining the worst might feel like making good preparation for an unforeseen event, but there’s a difference between doing a reasonable risk assessment – It looks like rain, I’ll take an umbrella – and assuming that something cataclysmic could happen. This just creates unnecessary anxiety, which, in turn, saps confidence. Imagining a catastrophe around every corner can sometimes come from a place of somewhat bizarre logic or magical thinking where, at a subconscious level, we convince ourselves that by imagining the worst, the imagining of it somehow stops the worst from happening. We even have evidence to prove that imagining the worst works: we thought it might happen, it didn’t happen, so therefore our thinking of it must have stopped it happening. None of which, rationally, is true. The worst didn’t happen because it seldom does; worrying about something that probably won’t happen is just unhelpful and undermines confidence. Learning from past experience and changing your thinking on this will remove a huge amount of anxiety and you will automatically feel more confident. Overthinking It’s one thing to be prepared but it can be unhelpful to overthink a situation, to focus on worst-case scenarios to the point where the idea of what could (but probably won’t) happen makes you so anxious, you won’t even try. There’s no point undermining your own confidence by persistently focusing on what can go wrong. Better, instead, to ensure you have done what you can, then let it go. Remember the times when the worst didn’t happen? That’s a far more accurate view of life, so focus on that. <img width="199" height="250" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/33457/i-want-to-be-confident-cvr_199x250.jpg" alt="I Want To Be Confident CVR" style="float: right;"/> This is an edited extract from I Want to be Confident by Harriet Griffey published by Hardie Grant Books RRP $19.99 and is available in stores nationally. Related links: <a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/mind/2016/12/5-tips-to-change-the-way-you-deal-negative-emotions/">5 tips to change the way you deal negative emotions</a> <a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/mind/2017/01/tips-to-improve-your-memory/">Improve your memory with these 4 tips</a> <a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/mind/2017/01/getting-distracted-in-old-age-is-a-good-thing/">Getting distracted in old age is a good thing</a>

Mind

7 ways to build confidence in your grandchildren

If you want to help your grandchild to succeed, instilling confidence in them is a great start. A confident child will try new things, make friends more easily, and have faith in themselves to do anything they set their mind to. To build up their confidence, try some of these ideas. <ol> <li>Don’t ask if they won or lost: Ask about how they played, or whether they were happy with their efforts. Kids sport is about joining in and trying their best, not winning or losing.</li> <li>Help them practice their skills: If they are good at swimming, offer to drive them to training. If they love art, offer to sit for them while they do your portrait. Be supportive of their talents and this will help them develop naturally, without putting pressure on them.</li> <li>Try not to solve all their problems: Instead of breaking up every small argument between kids, sometimes there is value in stepping back and letting them figure it out on their own. Kids learn resilience and compromise in this way.</li> <li>Help them stay curious: Kids are always asking “why?” so encourage this by setting up experiments or special activities that teach them how to solve problems. Ask them to help you in the garden, or to help you with technology that they aren’t necessarily familiar with.</li> <li>Take them to new places: Get kids out of their comfort zone and take them to art galleries, elderly relatives houses, hardware stores and even bowling alleys. Trying new things with a trusted adult is a great way to build up their confidence.</li> <li>Pass on a skill: Teach a child something that you are good at – it might be fishing, cooking, woodwork or golf. Sharing your skills as the teacher (and even allowing them to teach you a thing or two) develops their abilities to listen and try new activities.</li> <li>Encourage self-reliance: If they forgot to do their project, don’t stay up late doing it for them. If they left their sports clothes at home, don’t drop them off for them. Kids need to learn that there are consequences for their actions, and you stepping in to solve every problem isn’t going to help.</li> </ol> Did you have someone in your life that helped develop your confidence? We would love to hear your story. Related links: <a href="/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/09/10-factors-that-influence-how-you-grandparent/">10 factors that influence how you grandparent</a> <a href="/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/09/motivational-tactics-from-children/">7 motivational tactics from grandkids</a> <a href="/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/09/tips-for-disagreeing-grandparents-and-parents/">5 tips for disagreeing grandparents and parents</a>

Family & Pets

3-year-old girl gives herself the cutest pep talk in front of the mirror

A video of three-year-old Audrey giving herself a pep talk in the mirror has gone viral – and it could teach us all a thing or two about self-acceptance. Jamie Rabaut, of Michigan in the US, filmed her adorable daughter Audrey confidently complimenting herself on a variety of attributes, including her smartness, her cuteness, and of course, her absolute perfection. In the video, Audrey says, "I'm cute, I'm cute... I'm cute!" while twirling, jumping and grinning in front of the mirror. When her mum points out on top of being “cute and beautiful” she is also intelligent, Audrey immediately exclaims, "I'm cute and beautiful and smart!" Mum Jamie says that Audrey is such a positive little girl, radiating love wherever she goes. "She compliments people everywhere she goes," Jamie writes. "It's always, 'Excuse me, I like your dress,' 'Your bracelet is SO pretty,' 'Excuse me, ma'am, your hair is beautiful.' She radiates love and positivity and I love that that also reflects upon how she feels about herself." What a beautiful toddler! What’s the cutest thing your grandchild has ever done? Share with us in the comments below. Related links: <a href="http://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/08/is-it-ever-okay-for-children-to-lie/">Is it ever okay for children to lie?</a> <a href="http://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/08/how-to-encourage-kids-to-love-cooking/">5 reasons why it’s important to let kids loose in the kitchen</a> <a href="http://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/family-pets/2016/08/expert-advice-for-coping-with-estranged-adult-children/">Expert advice for coping with estranged adult children</a>

News

10 steps to build your confidence

Tom Cronin is a meditation teacher, life coach and writer. He is the founder of The Stillness Project, a global movement that aims to help people on their journey towards calmness and fulfilment. Are you looking for confidence builders that really work? Confidence is a tool that can help you to overcome obstacles and leave a lasting impression. And the best part about confidence is that it rubs off on others. When you’re confident about what you’re saying or doing, you’ll come off as intelligent, successful, capable and even desirable. Confident people have no trouble attracting others. Of course, even people who are regularly confident experience spells of low self-esteem or insecurity. The important thing to remember is that if you find yourself feeling unusually down, it’s doesn’t take much to give your confidence level a boost. The following confidence builders can help you stay steady and self-assured: <ol> <li>Peel yourself away from the mirror. Yes, you should devote some time each day to your appearance, but once you’re ready, let that be the end of it. Most of us have difficulty staying away from mirrors when we encounter them in elevators or bathrooms, but the less time you spend agonizing over every detail of your appearance, the happier you’ll be.</li> <li>Stand behind your decisions. Instead of humming and hawing over miniscule decisions or jumping back and forth trying to decide what to do, try making a decision and going with it. This doesn’t mean you should start behaving rashly, but people who are confident and self-assured tend to know what they want.</li> <li>Work on your posture. Your mom probably told you when you were a kid to stop slouching and she was right. When you stand tall, with your shoulders back and your head held high, the impression you</li> <li>Stop comparing yourself to others. Don’t worry about anyone other than yourself. Who cares if your best friend is getting engaged or your neighbour just got a promotion at work? Dwelling on what others have achieved isn’t going to help you feel good about yourself, nor is it going to help you get ahead.</li> <li>Do things alone. It’s easy to feel sure of yourself when you’re out with a group of people or a boyfriend or girlfriend. But doing things alone can leave you feeling outside of your comfort zone. Try doing things alone every now and then to cultivate your sense of confidence.</li> <li>Practice meditation. By making your mind Still, you can filter out defeating thoughts which can contribute to low self-esteem. Twenty minutes twice a day can have a profound effect on your confidence.</li> <li>Exchange online social networking for face-to-face social networking. Do you spend hours clicking through photos of your “friends,” analysing their outfits or who they’ve been clicked with? Instead of wasting your time online, why not get out and socialize yourself? Putting yourself out there and meeting new people can help you to feel more confident about yourself.</li> <li>Make eye contact. Confident people aren’t afraid to make eye contact. When you’re talking to someone, practice staring that person straight in the eyes. You’ll give off the impression that you’re sure of yourself, confident, and intelligent.</li> <li>Dress your best. If you feel good in whatever you’re wearing, you’re more likely to convey that message to others, too. Instead of going out in your old pair of sweat pants, put some effort into your appearance each time you leave the house. You’ll find that spending just a few minutes on your outfit will help you to step out with confidence.</li> <li>Feel wealthy. Take the time to remind yourself of all you have. You may not be the richest, the most successful, the prettiest or the smartest but isn’t it better to just be yourself? When you appreciate the blessings you do have and stop being in a state of wanting, you don’t need to feel down about what you don’t have.</li> </ol> Written by Tom Cronin. First appeared on <a href="http://stillnessproject.com/" target="_blank">The Stillness Project</a>. Related links: <a href="/health/mind/2016/08/4-proven-ways-to-worry-less/">4 proven ways to worry less</a> <a href="/health/mind/2016/08/the-secret-to-beating-bad-moods/">The secret to beating bad moods</a> <a href="/health/mind/2016/08/one-word-will-help-you-through-hard-times/">One word helps people beat challenging experiences</a>

Mind

3 steps to rid insecurities and build confidence

Many of us have insecurities – we might feel concerned that we aren’t tall enough, that our weight is a bit higher than we want it to be, that we aren’t as attractive to a loved one, that we’re too old to do something, or that we are being labelled incorrectly. Whatever the insecurity, even the smallest thing can set our minds reeling. For instance, when trying on clothes, we might feel frustrated with what we see in the mirror. Or if someone turns down our offer of a second date, we might automatically assume it’s got something to do with how we look. The feelings that well up when our insecurities flare up are unsettling and uncomfortable. Nobody wants to feel like they aren’t good enough. So what do you do when you find yourself triggered in some way? Try these 3 steps and see if they can help you get your confidence back. 1. Be aware of the triggers Once you know what sets you off down a spiral of negative thoughts, you hold the power to turn things around. Realising that you have been triggered is a great first step – so just recognise the symptoms and reflect on how you are feeling. Shortness of breath, hot flushes, headaches, trembling – all of these could be signs that you’ve been set off. Before you start trying to work out what it all means, just step back and notice the feelings. That’s all you need to do for now. 2. Avoid the negative thought spiral In general, this is the point where our brain takes over and starts the monologue that goes something like this: ‘You’re not good enough. You can’t handle this. You always buckle under pressure.’ Instead of letting that voice dominate your thoughts, stop it in its tracks before it kicks off. Realise that it’s just in your mind and that your thoughts don’t define you. Give yourself a break and point out to yourself that this is just a flare up of insecurities and that really you are just fine as you are. 3. Turn inward and find comfort This is where you look inside your heart and give it a bit of self-love. Realise that it’s your heart that is being wounded and that you are only human. Think of yourself as a small child that you can take care of, love and nurture. Remind yourself that you don’t need anyone else to look after you. Think about all the things that you are good at, and the people that are in your life that make you feel loved. This will help you to realise that thoughts are just thoughts and you are not the person that you were ten, twenty or thirty years ago. From there you can turn the whole experience on its head and focus on what you are grateful for in your life. How do you deal with it when old insecurities flare up? We’d love to hear your advice in the comments. Related links: <a href="/health/mind/2016/08/how-to-build-self-discipline-in-10-days/">How to build self-discipline in 10 days</a> <a href="/health/mind/2016/08/bad-habits-that-are-actually-good/">7 “bad” habits that are actually good for you</a> <a href="/health/mind/2016/08/4-proven-ways-to-worry-less/">4 proven ways to worry less</a>

Mind

4 ways to learn to love yourself

One of the hardest things to shift when it comes to your appearance is your self-image. You might lose or gain weight, update your wardrobe, cut your hair, invest in brand new make-up but unless you have a positive self-image the chances are good that you’ll still see yourself as average and potentially even un-lovable. The old adage goes that to truly be loved, you first need to love yourself and it’s not far wrong. Here are our five top tips to learn to love yourself. 1. Let it go Dwelling on mistakes gets us nowhere. It ends up trapping us in a cycle of negative thinking and heightened emotion. Learn from your mistakes where you can then move on from them, realising that mistakes are a natural part of being human. 2. Stop comparing yourself to others It’s very easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves with our contemporaries. This makes it very difficult to fall in love with the person actually staring back at us in the mirror however. We all have our good and bad traits, even those people that you compare yourself to. Focus on your own great qualities and work on building up a list of what you love about yourself. 3. Don’t underestimate your appearance It may be surface level but investing some time and effort in your hair, clothes and make-up can make a big difference to your self-esteem. We all know that “just left the hairdresser” feeling and the spring in our step it can give. If it’s been awhile since you’ve had a cut and colour or if the last time you stocked up on beauty products was the year 2001, consider treating yourself. Demonstrating that you’re worth it can work wonders for your self-image. 4. Give yourself a pat on the back What have you done well lately? We spend a lot of time dwelling on the mistakes we make but not a lot of time highlighting the positives. When you reach a goal or achieve something, celebrate it! How do you cultivate a healthy self-image? Tell us in the comment section below. Related links: <a href="/lifestyle/relationships/2016/07/friends-the-key-to-long-and-healthy-life/">Friends are the key to a long and healthy life</a> <a href="/lifestyle/relationships/2016/07/attributes-only-your-old-friends-have/">Why old friends are often the best kind of friends</a> <a href="/lifestyle/relationships/2016/06/how-to-turn-an-acquaintance-into-a-friendship/">How to take a friendship to the next level</a>

Relationships

5 wonderful things that happen when you start to believe in yourself

Whether you succeed or fail has little to do with external influences, it is almost all based on your own view of the situation. Once you make the decision to start believing in yourself and knowing that you are important, good things tend to start happening. Whether it’s related to happiness, success or even in business, self-belief is a powerful tool that you can use to make things happen for yourself. Need a reason to start believing? These eight positive things that happen when you start believing in yourself might help get you over the line. You will be less likely to judge others Once you start focusing on your life and what you want to do with it, you start spending less time thinking about what everyone else is doing. This means you’ll be less likely to waste time judging others or criticising their life choices. You can find more time So many people use the excuse of not having enough time to explain why they aren’t doing what they want to be doing. Once you decide that you’re not going to wallow in pity or self doubt, questioning you every move, you’ll find you have more time to just get on with things. You might inspire other people Self-confidence attracts other people to you. It also allows you to influence and inspire others, as they see your success and want it for themselves. This is a powerful tool if you are starting a business or trying to influence other people to help you (such as charity work). You can take criticism with less emotion Not many people like to hear about their own faults. But to be truly successful it’s important to take criticism on board, focus on the specifics, and implement changes to increase your chances of success. Once you believe in yourself you’ll be able to tae the feedback without attaching emotion to it, which could cloud your judgment. You can handle bumps in the road Believing in yourself doesn’t mean that you expect that life will be consistently smooth sailing. What it really means is that you will have the confidence to navigate the uncertain times, safe in the knowledge that you have the skills to get through it. Have you started feeling the benefits of self-love? If you’ve got any tips to share we would love to hear from you. Related links: <a href="/health/mind/2016/06/overcoming-pain-using-the-power-of-the-mind/">Overcoming pain using the power of the mind</a> <a href="/health/mind/2016/06/trick-to-make-you-a-morning-person/">The 4 tricks guaranteed to make you a morning person</a> <a href="/health/mind/2016/06/extraordinarily-simple-ways-to-be-happy/">5 extraordinarily simple ways to be happy</a>

Mind

Why you should learn to eat alone

Have your ever booked a table for one? How did it make you feel dining alone? Most people report that dining alone feels a little bit strange, at least initially, like a gate-crasher at a party that everyone else has been invited to. After the initial shock wears off, however, many find that they actually enjoy the solo dining experience more than they thought they would. A significant amount more. So much so that solo excursions to favourite places to eat and drink become a more regular occurrence out of choice, not necessity. The experience of dining alone is a unique one. Humans, being social creatures, are conditioned to eat together or in small groups. We’ve all been to a lunch or dinner where we’ve barely noticed what we’ve eaten or drunk, so occupied have we been by the chatter around the table. When we eat alone however, that chatter doesn’t exist, leaving us to focus completely on the food we are eating. We might notice things about our meal that we’d never considered before; a specific taste or texture that was missed when focused on our dining partner. We are also more attuned to the energy of the room and the people around us. A person dining alone is far more likely to chat at length to the waiter or sommelier or the people on the table next door than someone who is part of a couple of larger group. It’s the perfect people watching activity, complete with delicious food and drink. Sociologists who’ve studied the concept of dining alone have identified that the benefits of solo eating can help create a sense of mindful gratitude. We are able to be “in the moment,” enjoying our food and surroundings without needing to placate anyone else. This completely relieves us of the pressure to entertain or be entertained or be “on” for whoever we are dining with. We can enjoy the experience purely for what it is, something that can be all too rare in today’s fast-paced, ultra connected society. Have you dined alone? How did you find the experience? Related links: <a href="/lifestyle/relationships/2016/06/surprising-relationship-tips-from-divorce-lawyers/">6 surprising relationship tips from divorce lawyers</a> <a href="/lifestyle/relationships/2016/05/crucial-quality-in-a-life-partner-you-might-be-forgetting-about/">The crucial quality to look for in a life partner</a> <a href="/lifestyle/relationships/2016/04/beliefs-that-invite-true-love/">5 beliefs that invite true love</a>

Relationships

Retirement doesn’t have to sap your self-esteem

Susan Krauss Whitbourne is a professor of Psychology and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. She writes the Fulfilment at Any Age blog for Psychology Today. In our work-oriented society, it’s all too easy to think about retirement as the end of your value. People are so wrapped up in their work identities that the prospect of losing that identity fills us with dread. Yes, there is the relaxation of the retirement lifestyle and the pleasure of staying out of the workaday fray, but as with any ending, the transition to non-working status can be tough for many in the 50-plus years of life. University of Cincinnati’s Heather Vough and colleagues proposed that the ending of a career is psychologically challenging because it forces us “off script.” Think of it this way. You have a daily script that dictates much of what you do from your routine of household chores to the 9 to 5 hours when you’re at work. You know what you’re supposed to be doing at any given time of day. When you retire, or leave your place of employment, you have to rewrite that script. At a deeper level, you must also try to formulate an interpretation of this life transition. Vough and her team describe this as “sensemaking:” “the process through which individuals create explanations for experiences”. Retirement becomes a part of your life <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201211/what-your-most-vivid-memories-say-about-you" target="_blank">narrative</a>, or the story you write about the events in your own personal history. In the case of the retirement, story the narrative is shaped by the reasons you left your job. Were you forced to retire, did you do so voluntarily, or were there ways in which you felt no longer needed? The University of Cincinnati researchers drew on the interviews of 48 Baby Boom Canadian retirees all employed in companies in the private sector, spanning mid-level managers to CEOs. From these interviews, Vough and her team identified these 6 career-ending narratives that varied in how they impacted the individual’s sense of self. <ol> <li>Following a script: These individuals used their age or length of employment as triggers to the retirement decision.</li> <li>Identifying windows: A new project was coming up, and the individual felt it was a good time to leave.</li> <li>Cashing out: The retiree was offered an incentive or wanted to get out before the company reorganized.</li> <li>Being discarded: These individuals felt that they were no longer needed or were actually laid off.</li> <li>Becoming disillusioned: Feeling that the company’s values were going downhill, these individuals decided it was time to leave.</li> <li>Having an epiphany: Through illness, death of a close family member, or other major life event, these individuals felt that there were other things in life more important than the job.</li> </ol> Which path fits you? If you chose Paths 1 and 2, you’re able to maintain or enhance your self-esteem because there was a specific reason you chose to retire. Path 3 also allows you to maintain a more-or-less positive self-view especially if that incentive was a strong one. Starting with Path 4, the situation becomes more ominous. Unlike Paths 1-3, you cannot attribute the decision to a voluntary choice so the only way you can preserve self-esteem is by denigrating the organization. If you follow Paths 5 and 6, in contrast, you undergo the most change in your sense of self, what Vaugh et al. call “identity restructuring.” Seeing the company as going in an opposite direction from your own (Path 5) engages you in values clarification. Seeing your life as having meaning outside of work (Path 6) alters your overall sense of life goals. Any life ending, whether one you choose or one imposed upon you, can give you the opportunity for new self-understanding. With the ending in the past, you have the opportunity to find fulfilment in those openings that yet await you. Retirement may be the best thing that’s ever happened to you, and the transition that stimulated you the most to redefining your values, sense of self, and purpose in life. Have you retired? We’d love to hear your tips on how you overcame any challenges that came with leaving work. Share them with us in the comments below. Written by Susan Krauss Whitbourne. First appeared on <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/susan-krauss-whitbourne/more-complex-as-you-get-older_b_8741338.html" target="_blank">Huffington Post</a>. Related links: <a href="/lifestyle/retirement-life/2016/05/are-you-having-a-late-life-crisis/">Are you having a “late-life” crisis?</a> <a href="/lifestyle/retirement-life/2016/04/i-found-retirement-overrated/">Retirement is overrated. Here’s what I did instead.</a> <a href="/lifestyle/retirement-life/2016/04/why-everyone-should-share-their-life-story/">Why everyone should share their life story</a>

Retirement Life

6 tips for going to an event on your own

Whether you’ve always been single, or are recently single or widowed, taking those first steps out into the social scene can feel daunting. 1. Find opportunities to chat Waiting at the bar or lining up for the toilet are two great chances to strike up a conversation with someone. Most people are happy to be distracted by their wait so why not try to make a friend there. 2. Mention your status If you find someone nice to chat to, don’t be shy about dropping into the conversation that you came to the event on your own. This way they might make more of a point of introducing you to people they know or saving you a spot for a sit-down meal. 3. Ask questions People generally love to talk about themselves (after all, it’s a topic that each person is an expert on) so a great way to get to know people is to ask questions. They don’t need to be too deep and meaningful, something as simple as where they are from, where they live, have you seen any good films lately is a good place to begin. 4. Bring something For some reason, having something to hold in your hands or an object to talk about can make you feel less awkward in a social setting. It might be a great handbag, a fun scarf or even just a glass of wine. The one thing not to hold though? Your phone. It makes you look like you’d rather be somewhere else. 5. Keep up to date Ensure that you have some interesting topics up your sleeve to chat about should you find yourself talking with someone. Have you been to a new restaurant near the venue? Are you about to travel overseas to somewhere interesting? Do you have some funny anecdote about the last time you went out on your own that you’d like to share? 6. Dress with confidence Now isn’t the time to try out the super short mini-dress or 70’s Hawaiian shirt. Wear something that you know looks good and makes you feel great. This way you won’t be fidgeting with a scratchy collar or hitching up too-big tights. Another great idea is to wear an eye-catching colour, as it’s often a good conversation starter when everyone else is wearing mostly black. What advice do you have for people attending an event solo? Share your ideas in the comments. Related links: <a href="/lifestyle/relationships/2016/05/psychologist-advice-to-get-through-a-break-up/">Breaking up doesn’t have to break you</a> <a href="/lifestyle/relationships/2016/05/female-friendships-the-key-to-making-life-changing-decisions/">Female friendships the key to making life-changing decisions</a> <a href="/lifestyle/relationships/2016/05/gary-chapmans-five-love-languages/">5 ways giving love is the key to relationship success</a>

Relationships

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