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Research shows siblings can make you more empathic

<p>For decades, researchers have demonstrated the numerous ways in which parents can positively influence their children’s development. This includes <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0140197104000600">how confident they are</a>, how <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10648-005-3950-1">well they do in school</a> and how they <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fa0035736">interact with their friends</a></p> <p>Far less attention has focused on the impact of children’s relationships with their brothers and sisters, despite the fact that most people grow up with at least one sibling and they tend to spend more time with one another than with <a href="https://dx.doi.org/10.1007%2Fs10567-011-0104-5">parents or friends</a>.</p> <p>Our research at the University of Calgary and the University of Toronto shows that siblings, like parents, can have a dramatic impact on one another’s development. We’ve found, for example, that warmth and support from an older sibling can help boost the younger sibling’s <a href="http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/133/2/e394.short">language development</a> and their <a href="http://psycnet.apa.org/record/2017-12257-001">understanding of others’ minds and points of view</a>.</p> <p>In a paper published in the journal <em>Child Development</em>, we show that siblings can also play a role in the <a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/cdev.13015/full">development of empathy</a>.</p> <p>We found that children who are kind, supportive and understanding influence their siblings to act and behave in similar ways. And if one sibling is struggling to be empathic but has a sibling with strong empathy skills, they manage to become more empathic over time.</p> <p><strong>Studying sibling empathy</strong></p> <p>A child who demonstrates strong empathy skills is able to show feelings of care and concern for others in need.</p> <p>Learning to be empathic early in development can set in motion lifelong strengths in <a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/cdev.12632/abstract">treating others with kindness, respect and understanding</a>. Empathic children become empathic friends, spouses and parents.</p> <p>In the research context, we study empathy by observing how young children respond to an adult who pretends to be upset when they broke a cherished object, hit their knee or caught their finger in a briefcase.</p> <p>We are interested in how empathy skills grow over time and whether one sibling’s empathy influences the other sibling’s growth in empathy.</p> <p>What’s important in this newly published research is that we were able to remove the influence of parents so we can attribute growth in a child’s empathy skills directly to their sibling (and not their parents).</p> <p><strong>Younger siblings have influence too</strong></p> <p>We commonly think of older siblings as having a greater impact on their younger siblings than vice-versa: Older brothers and sisters are more experienced and knowledgeable.</p> <p>However, we’ve found in our research that both younger and older siblings uniquely contribute to each others’ empathy development.</p> <p>Older siblings can be role models to the younger siblings, and vice versa —younger siblings with strong empathy skills can be role models to their older siblings.</p> <p>As long as one sibling is empathic, the other one benefits.</p> <p>What about age differences? Does it matter if one sibling is much older than the other?</p> <p>All siblings in our study were within a maximum of four years of one another in age. But we did find that in families where siblings were further apart in age, older brothers and sisters had a stronger influence on their younger siblings.</p> <p>So, the bigger the age gap, the better older siblings are at modeling empathic behaviours.</p> <p>We also found that younger brothers did not significantly influence their older sisters.</p> <p>It’s not just parents who influence how well children develop. Siblings do too. And sibling relationships are not just about rivalry, animosity, jealousy and competition for parental attention.</p> <p>Child development is a family affair.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/90755/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: http://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em>Written by <span>Sheri Madigan, Assistant Professor, Canada Research Chair in Determinants of Child Development, Alberta Children’s Hospital Research Institute, University of Calgary; Jennifer Jenkins, Atkinson Chair of Early Child Development and Education and Director of the Atkinson Centre, University of Toronto, and Marc Jambon, Postdoctoral Fellow in Psychology, University of Toronto</span>. Republished with permission of </em><a href="https://theconversation.com/new-research-shows-siblings-can-make-you-more-empathic-90755"><em>The Conversation</em></a><em>. </em></p>

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Top traits of empathic people

<p>An empath is a highly sensitive person who takes on other people’s emotions. They can have strong emotions and feelings in stressful situations, and may even experience depression or panic attacks. They may find themselves succumbing to binges (food, sex, alcohol), or experiencing chronic fatigue.</p> <p>Being an empath doesn’t have to mean that you live your life feeling completely overwhelmed. There are ways that empaths can learn to acknowledge their feelings in order to become emotionally free.</p> <p>See if you identify with some of these traits.</p> <p><strong>High sensitivity</strong></p> <p>They are good listeners who are open to the feelings of others. They will nurture, guide and advise people going through a hard time. However, this can cause them to feel too much, and they might even be labelled as someone who is too sensitive.</p> <p><strong>In tune with other’s emotions</strong></p> <p>Empaths tend to absorb other people’s emotions, whether they are good or bad. They need to be in a calm and relaxed environment to avoid feeling permanently stressed and anxious. </p> <p><strong>Introverts</strong></p> <p>Don’t put an empath in a large group of people if you want them to feel relaxed. They do prefer smaller groups, ideally one on one so that they can focus. If they do have to attend a large function or event they may decide to limit their time there in order to keep their emotions in check.</p> <p><strong>Need their own space</strong></p> <p>In order to recharge, empaths need to spend time on their own regularly. Being around people constantly is physically and emotionally draining for them. They dislike things like group travel where they aren’t able to get up and go as they like.</p> <p><strong>Can struggle with intimacy</strong></p> <p>Many empaths can find intimate relationships difficult to sustain, as they can get overwhelmed with the emotion involved. They may need to discuss ideas for their own relationship where they change the traditional roles in order to make them more comfortable.</p> <p><strong>Nature sustains them</strong></p> <p>Being within a natural environment can help an empath to recharge.</p> <p>Things like the roaring ocean, or a quiet field, can give them time to reflect and lower the amount of emotion that they take on.</p> <p>If you are an empath you can seek to keep your sensitivity under control by taking charge of how you spend your time (and who with), meditating, and spending time outdoors in nature. Remember to speak to other people about how you feel so that you can protect yourself from unnecessary stress and anxiety.</p> <p>Are you an empath? How do you cope with the stresses of everyday living? We would love to hear from you in the comments.</p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/07/how-to-stop-dwelling-on-negative/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Why we dwell on the negative and how to stop</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/07/secret-to-quieting-a-frazzled-mind/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>The secret to quieting a frazzled mind</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/07/benefits-of-believing-in-yourself/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">5 wonderful things that happen when you start to believe in yourself</span></em></strong></a></p>

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