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How do I tell my kids we are currently short on money – without freaking them out?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rachael-sharman-96073">Rachael Sharman</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-the-sunshine-coast-1068">University of the Sunshine Coast</a></em></p> <p>I was a teenager during Australia’s 1990s “<a href="https://www.theguardian.com/business/2019/nov/17/remembering-the-recession-the-1990s-experience-changed-my-view-of-the-world">recession we had to have</a>”, and remember clearly a friend asking his dad for some money to go to the movies.</p> <p>With equal parts frustration and resignation, the dad explained he’d been retrenched and wasn’t certain employment was on the horizon in his near future. So he really didn’t have any spare money for cinema tickets.</p> <p>Rather than being scary or upsetting, as rather clueless teenagers this felt like something of a lightbulb moment.</p> <p>Many kids learn about their parents financial difficulties this way. Something they’ve always been able to have is suddenly denied them. The penny drops.</p> <p>But it’s not easy talking to your kids about the cost-of-living crunch. Many fear worrying their kids or leaving them with a lifelong “scarcity mindset”, where a person is forever cursed with a feeling spending money is always wrong.</p> <p>So how can parents communicate the financial realities to their children? And how might the messaging be different with younger kids versus teens?</p> <h2>For younger kids, keep things calm and simple</h2> <p>Most primary-aged children are oblivious to macro conditions outside their home and immediate community. They haven’t yet developed the ability to put sudden changes into perspective.</p> <p>The key here is not to have your own anxieties rub off on your kids.</p> <p>Children this age look to their parents as beacons of information and will very much <a href="https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2794157">mirror</a> any fear or anxiety you express. They may even blow things out of proportion.</p> <p>Keeping things calm and simple is key.</p> <p>Provide a basic explanation that things cost money, and you don’t have as much money as normal right now, so as a family there are certain things you just can’t afford.</p> <p>Very young children can be relentlessly narcissistic in their outlook – this is developmentally normal.</p> <p>They might even demand you work more or harder so they can afford their desired items and activities. The best you can do is laugh it off and offer to try – but explain that for now, the kids will have to come up with something else to do.</p> <p>Consider a plan to substitute their previous activities with free ones. For example, explain they can’t play their usual sport this season, but you are going to head to the local park every week to kick the ball around and have a picnic instead.</p> <h2>Ask teens for their opinions and ideas</h2> <p>Depending on their intrinsic interest in the news and understanding of maths, finance and economics, a sudden and unexpected drop in finances may also come as a shock to teenagers.</p> <p>But at around 12 years of age, children undergo somewhat of an explosion in <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3621648/">frontal lobe function</a>. Their capacity to comprehend and process even complex information increases quite markedly.</p> <p>So teens may not only understand your current situation, but be able to help out.</p> <p>Giving teens a “role” to play in assisting the family builds a sense of competence and offers a team-based problem-solving approach to the emotional concerns they may be feeling. In other words, they’ll feel less powerless.</p> <p>This approach is underpinned by what psychologists and researchers call “<a href="https://selfdeterminationtheory.org/theory/">self-determination theory</a>”.</p> <p>This well-studied concept posits that most humans have an innate need to:</p> <ul> <li> <p>experience and demonstrate autonomy (making your own choices, acting on your own volition)</p> </li> <li> <p>competence (feeling like you’re good at something, have achieved something worthwhile)</p> </li> <li> <p>relatedness (working well with others, especially people important to you).</p> </li> </ul> <p>So working as a team towards a common goal is a great way for a family to pull together and help each others’ mental wellbeing.</p> <p>Discuss with your teens what activities, events and items might need to go on the backburner or be discontinued.</p> <p>And don’t forget, teens have a very well-honed hypocrisy radar – there’s no point suggesting they cut back on recreational activities, for example, if you are not willing to do the same.</p> <p>Use this as an opportunity to discuss the difference between “wants” and “needs” and ask them to sort family spending into those categories. Discuss points of disagreement calmly.</p> <p>Ask your teens to brainstorm ways to improve your financial efficiency – and help you in doing so. They might enjoy coming up with ideas such as grocery shopping with a strict meal plan in cheaper stores, looking for specials, riding or walking to school where possible, getting a part time job or helping out with childcare.</p> <p>Rather than fixating on what we have to go without, work with your teenagers to come up with proactive ideas on what you can do differently. Frame it as working together to achieve the same aim.</p> <p>Teach your kids there can be challenges in life, but how you go about managing them is the key. This will help them develop into resilient adults.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/208008/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rachael-sharman-96073">Rachael Sharman</a>, Senior Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-the-sunshine-coast-1068">University of the Sunshine Coast</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-do-i-tell-my-kids-we-are-currently-short-on-money-without-freaking-them-out-208008">original article</a>.</em></p>

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15 surprisingly frugal habits of the British royal family

<p><strong>Keeping breakfast simple</strong></p> <p>When you imagine a royal breakfast, you probably picture an impressive spread of poached eggs, smoked salmon, exotic fruits, and endless pastries. Well, Queen Elizabeth knows what she likes, and it’s quite the frugal choice. </p> <p>She pours herself a bowl of a simple cereal like cornflakes or Special K – kept fresh in a plastic container instead of the box – to eat with fruit.</p> <p><strong>Reusing gift-wrap</strong></p> <p>Biographer Kate Williams reveals that Queen Elizabeth doesn’t let used wrapping paper go to waste. Since she was young, Her Majesty has been saving gift-wrap and ribbons from the bin, then smoothing them out so they can be reused.</p> <p><strong>Recycling outfits</strong></p> <p>Most people don’t think twice about outfit repeating, but the royal family is well aware that people are looking at – and remembering – everything they wear. Other celebrities might wear an outfit in public once before rejecting it, but the royal family turns its nose at that wastefulness. </p> <p>Kate Middleton and Queen Elizabeth have both been known to wear the same outfit for more than one official engagement. Neither of them comes close to Princess Anne, who has kept favourite outfits on her rotation for as long as 35 years.</p> <p><strong>Repairing instead of replacing </strong></p> <p>With as much money as Queen Elizabeth has, you’d think a simple pair of worn-out gloves would be tossed in the bin. </p> <p>But Her Majesty is against that kind of waste, washing and mending her gloves instead of ordering new ones. In fact, she still has pairs from 40 years ago.</p> <p><strong>Opting for DIY</strong></p> <p>With the world watching Kate Middleton’s 2011 marriage to Prince William, you’d think she would hire professionals to make her makeup TV-ready. Nope. </p> <p>The now-Duchess of Cambridge passed on the pro help, and applied her makeup by herself, according to People. She did take a few private lessons from a makeup artist before the big day, though.</p> <p><strong>Cooking for themselves</strong></p> <p>Live-in chefs aren’t the norm for every royal. Kate Middleton reportedly does most of the cooking for her family, including making Prince William’s favourite diner: roast chicken. </p> <p>Prince Harry has also been spotted doing his own grocery shopping. Wonder what might be in their shopping carts?</p> <p><strong>Giving silly gifts</strong></p> <p>To the family who has everything, gifts aren’t about trying to outdo each other, so they give joke gifts instead. </p> <p>In 2019, Meghan Markle reportedly gave Queen Elizabeth a singing hamster that made her future grandmother-in-law laugh out loud.</p> <p><strong>Flying economy</strong></p> <p>While Queen Elizabeth won’t take commercial flights, her grandchildren have been spotted on them. Prince William was spotted flying economy on an American Airlines flight from Memphis to Dallas in 2014, and Prince Harry and Meghan Markle travelled economy on British Airways to ring in the 2018 New Year in Nice.</p> <p><strong>Cutting electricity costs</strong></p> <p>With an estimated 40,000 lights in Buckingham Palace, electricity bills add up fast. That’s why in 2011, Queen Elizabeth posted signs around the building, ordering palace staff to turn lights off when they aren’t using them, according to <em>Financial Times</em>. </p> <p>Her Majesty was so serious about the initiative that she would walk through palace halls switching off lights, an employee revealed at the time.</p> <p><strong>Wearing hand-me-downs</strong></p> <p>Sure, Prince George and Princess Charlotte could afford to wear new, stylish clothing all the time – but William and Kate have other plans for their kids. Princess Charlotte has been spotted wearing shoes her uncle Prince Harry wore more than 30 years before, when he was two. </p> <p>Meanwhile, Prince George has worn an outfit that his dad had originally worn to Prince Harry’s christening back in 1984. Some things never go out of style.</p> <p><strong>Making use of leftovers</strong></p> <p>Some rich families might toss any uneaten foods, but not the royals. Chef Carolyn Robb, who worked for Prince Charles and Princess Diana from 1989 to 2000, tells <em>racked.com</em> that the family didn’t put food to waste. </p> <p>Charles would request only being served as much as he could eat, and any leftovers would be incorporated into the next meal. Roast lamb, for instance, could be mixed into Shepard’s pie.</p> <p><strong>Shopping for inexpensive clothes</strong></p> <p>While Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle are no strangers to designer couture, they also know how to look chic on a budget. </p> <p>Royal watchers have spotted Kate wearing Gap and Zara pieces, while Meghan is reportedly a fan of Everlane and J.Crew. It’s no wonder their fashion choices tend to sell out so quickly.</p> <p><strong>Keeping beauty low-key</strong></p> <p>Queen Elizabeth doesn’t reach for Dior nail polish when she wants a manicure. Instead, her nail colour of choice is a pharmacy brand that rings up at a cool $9 a bottle.</p> <p><strong>Giving up central heating </strong></p> <p>While the royal family could probably afford central heating to keep all 775 rooms in Buckingham Palace warm, the Queen chooses to use space heaters (at least in certain rooms) instead. </p> <p>Perceptive royal watchers have noticed space heaters nestled in fireplaces in Buckingham and Balmoral Castle. With the units costing just £20 to £30 ($37 to $56) each, you can bet Her Majesty is saving a bundle.</p> <p><strong>Keeping items as long as possible </strong></p> <p>You might expect a frequent flier like Queen Elizabeth to invest in new luggage every trip – or at least, maybe once a decade. Once Her Majesty finds something she likes, though, she isn’t likely to let it go.</p> <p>The Queen apparently still uses the same Globe-Trotter suitcases that she bought for her honeymoon in 1947, according to the company’s website.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared in <a href="https://www.readersdigest.co.nz/culture/15-surprisingly-frugal-habits-of-the-british-royal-family?pages=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

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