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"Mum grew great dope": Son's hilariously honest tribute goes viral

Two brothers from Sydney have made headlines around the world for their hilarious tribute to their late mother. Sean and Chris Kelly wrote a death notice for their mum Jennifer Ann Kelly when she passed away aged 88 on Monday last week. “Farewell Jennie Kelly, our wild and wayward mother,” the notice which was posted in the Sydney Morning Herald began. Jennifer Ann lived most of her life outside Nimbin and The Channon in northern NSW until she moved to a nursing home in Turramurra 18 months ago. Her sons' tribute has triggered a call for more honesty about death as they opened up about their unconventional upbringing. They revealed that their mum refused to say "passed" when someone died, believed exposing youth to religion was a form of child abuse, and "it was impossible to watch the news in her presence due to her vocal outrage." And while the two brothers had spent most of their lives "compensating for our upbringing", their mother's "rare attempts at 'responsible' parenting or grandparenting were always touching". They also added: “Mum grew great dope, never wanted to leave a party and gave up champagne or gin frequently, but never simultaneously.” “News on what’s next to follow. Bring a shovel," they ended the notice. Their good-humoured grief and honesty gained global attention after it was posted on Reddit. It was also included in British outlet The Independent and US People Magazine. “Your mum sounds phenomenal. The amazing tribute has reached thousands of people in the UK,” one Reddit user said. “I wish I’d known Jenny, she sounds wonderful. Thank you for a wonderful obituary – clearly Jenny lived until she died,” added another. Others praised their candidness, with one saying: “[It’s] honest, as opposed to all those people who suddenly become heroes/Mother Teresa when they die.” In an interview with 7NEWS Sean admitted that the unconventional obituary was a first for him. “I’d never done a death notice, I’d never really looked at them,” he said. “I swear I spent less than four minutes on that.” He added that he wasn't even sure it would be published, and “the next thing I knew, the day after, someone said ‘I think we heard someone on the radio talking about your mother this morning’.” “She would say that she was mortified, but all my friends tell me she would be absolutely delighted at the attention.” Jennie leaves behind her two sons and three grandchildren. Images: 7News/ SMH

Family & Pets

Readers response: What celebrity do you think would make a great friend, and why?

When it comes to celebrities, everyone has their favourites, their crushes, and those they'd rather steer clear of. We asked our readers what celebrity they think they would be good friends with, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. Judy Yannopoulos - Keanu Reeves. A true honest person with a good heart. Jenny Maclean - Steven Fry. He’s honest and kind and so very intelligent. Jeff-Lyn Bloom - Tom Hanks. He is so down to earth. Doesn’t put on airs. Jan Totti - John Farnham, because he’s down to earth and there’s no pretences. He seems just a lovely honest person. He’s an amazing Australian singer. Caz McDougall - Michael Sheen and David Tennant. Karen Maberly - Judi Dench. Seems like a good communicator, sharp mind and full of fun, and not full of herself!! Cheryl Cunningham - Denzel Washington. Totally honest and decent human. Rhonda Moffitt - Maggie Beer. She treasures family & others. Always smiling, Maggie I think would be great company. Lisa Drury Hudson - Audrey Hepburn, for her compassion, strength, fighting for children's rights and empathy. What a loss. Bob Wilkinson - Hugh Jackson and Chris Hemsworth as they both seem like down to earth nice people. Image credits: Shutterstock

Relationships

"You are terrible": Brutal comment that drove Paralympian to greatness

From a young age, Paralympian Madison de Rozario knew that people treated her differently. "There's an enormous lack of expectation in what we [people with disabilities] are able to do in sport, in workplaces, in school," she told 9honey. "It can be the death of potential … I didn't recognise that's what I was experiencing as a young kid." Born in Perth, Western Australia, De Rozario developed a neurological disease at just four-years-old and has used a wheelchair ever since. It didn't hold her back from playing sports with her two sisters, and now she is a Paralympic champion with six medals to her name - two golds, three silvers, and a bronze medal. De Rozario recalled how Frank Ponta – a silver medallist at the first ever Paralympics in 1960, an inaugural Australian Paralympic Hall of Famer, and coach to several Paralympic icons – helped her overcome her early doubts. "There was a lot of sympathy, a lot of pity, which I didn't recognise as pity at the time," she said. "And then there was Frank, and he had none of it." Ponta was part of a generation of para athletes that fought for recognition and support back when most Australia treated them as if they were invisible. She recalled how the first time Ponta saw her try to play basketball at just 12-years-old, he told her, "you are terrible at this sport". While it's not exactly what a young athlete would expect to hear, she acknowledged that she was terrible, but Ponta saw her potential. He dug an old racing wheelchair out of a storage cupboard, strapped her in and told her to go for a spin around the carpark. "It was way too big for me and I absolutely fell in love with it," she recalled. Not long after, Ponta was training her multiple times a week even in the toughest conditions. Not only did he believe in her, he expected her to achieve great things and that expectation changed everything. "I think he was the first person that didn't treat me carefully," she said. "He just treated me like an athlete." A year later, one of Ponta's protegees, Sauvage, took over De Rozario's coaching and helped her nab a last-minute spot at the Beijing Paralympics in 2008. De Rozario debuted 48 years after Ponta and brought home the silver medal, the same medal he won at his debut. Ponta sadly died in 2011, a year before De Rozario competed in London, leaving behind a legacy for all para athletes to come. "I feel so just incredibly lucky that I had one of them in my corner. I didn't even realise it until he was gone," she said. "I feel so lucky that that's how my career started, with someone who just embodied all of those things that now as a 30-year-old, I hold very, very close." These memories help fuel her as she prepares for her fifth Paralympics in Paris this month. This year she hopes to make Ponta proud and be the inspiration to the next generation of para athletes. "That part still sits so restlessly in me," she said. Image: DARREN ENGLAND/EPA-EFE/ Shutterstock Editorial

International Travel

I’ve been diagnosed with cancer. How do I tell my children?

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/cassy-dittman-1380541">Cassy Dittman</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/govind-krishnamoorthy-1467986">Govind Krishnamoorthy</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-southern-queensland-1069">University of Southern Queensland</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/marg-rogers-867368">Marg Rogers</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a> With around <a href="https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/health/health-conditions-and-risks/cancer/2022">one in 50 adults</a> diagnosed with cancer each year, many people are faced with the difficult task of sharing the news of their diagnosis with their loved ones. Parents with cancer may be most <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1462388914000994">worried about</a> telling their children. It’s best to give children factual and age-appropriate information, so children don’t create their own explanations or <a href="https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(18)33202-1/fulltext">blame themselves</a>. Over time, supportive family relationships and open communication <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00520-016-3214-2">help children adjust</a> to their parent’s diagnosis and treatment. It’s natural to feel you don’t have the <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/ecc.12018">skills or knowledge</a> to talk with your children about cancer. But preparing for the conversation can improve your confidence. <h2>Preparing for the conversation</h2> Choose a suitable time and location in a place where your children feel comfortable. Turn off distractions such as screens and phones. For teenagers, who can find face-to-face conversations confronting, think about talking while you are going for a walk. Consider if you will tell all children at once or separately. Will you be the only adult present, or will having another adult close to your child be helpful? Another adult might give your children a person they can talk to later, especially to answer questions they might be worried about asking you. Finally, plan what to do after the conversation, like doing an activity with them that they enjoy. Older children and teenagers might want some time alone to digest the news, but you can suggest things you know they like to do to relax. Also consider what you might need to support yourself. <h2>Preparing the words</h2> Parents might be worried about the <a href="https://www.bmj.com/content/321/7259/479.full.pdf+html">best words or language</a> to use to make sure the explanations are at a level their child understands. Make a plan for what you will say and take notes to stay on track. The toughest part is likely to be saying to your children that you have cancer. It can help to practise saying those words out aloud. Ask family and friends for their feedback on what you want to say. <a href="https://www.cancer.org.au/cancer-information/types-of-cancer/childhood-cancers/talking-to-kids-about-cancer">Make use of guides</a> by the Cancer Council, which provide age-appropriate wording for explaining medical terms like “cancer”, “chemotherapy” and “tumour”. <h2>Having the conversation</h2> Being open, honest and factual is important. Consider the balance between being too vague, and providing too much information. The <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1462388914000994">amount and type</a> of information you give will be based on their age and previous experiences with illness. Remember, if things don’t go as planned, you can always try again later. Start by telling your children the news in a few short sentences, describing what you know about the diagnosis in language suitable for their age. Generally, this information will include the name of the cancer, the area of the body affected and what will be involved in treatment. Let them know what to expect in the coming weeks and months. Balance hope with reality. For example: <blockquote> The doctors will do everything they can to help me get well. But, it is going to be a long road and the treatments will make me quite sick. </blockquote> Check what your child knows about cancer. Young children may not know much about cancer, while primary school-aged children are starting to understand that it is a <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/epdf/10.1177/0165025408093663">serious illness</a>. Young children may worry about becoming unwell themselves, or other loved ones becoming sick. Older children and teenagers may have experiences with cancer through other family members, friends at school or social media. This process allows you to correct any misconceptions and provides opportunities for them to ask questions. Regardless of their level of knowledge, it is important to reassure them that the cancer is not their fault. Ask them if there is anything they want to know or say. Talk to them about what will stay the same as well as what may change. For example: <blockquote> You can still do gymnastics, but sometimes Kate’s mum will have to pick you up if I am having treatment. </blockquote> If you can’t answer their questions, be OK with saying “I’m not sure”, or “I will try to find out”. Finally, tell children you love them and offer them comfort. <h2>How might they respond?</h2> Be prepared for a range of <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00520-016-3214-2">different responses</a>. Some might be distressed and cry, others might be angry, and some might not seem upset at all. This might be due to shock, or a sign they need time to process the news. It also might mean they are trying to be brave because they don’t want to upset you. Children’s reactions will change over time as they come to terms with the news and process the information. They might seem like they are happy and coping well, then be teary and clingy, or angry and irritable. Older children and teenagers may ask if they can tell their friends and family about what is happening. It may be useful to come together as a family to discuss how to inform friends and family. <h2>What’s next?</h2> Consider the conversation the first of many ongoing discussions. Let children know they can talk to you and ask questions. Resources might also help; for example, The Cancer Council’s <a href="https://www.campquality.org.au/kids-guide-to-cancer/">app for children and teenagers</a> and Redkite’s <a href="https://www.redkite.org.au/service/book-club/">library of free books</a> for families affected by cancer. If you or other adults involved in the children’s lives are concerned about how they are coping, speak to your GP or treating specialist about options for psychological support.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/228012/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/cassy-dittman-1380541">Cassy Dittman</a>, Senior Lecturer/Head of Course (Undergraduate Psychology), Research Fellow, Manna Institute, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/govind-krishnamoorthy-1467986">Govind Krishnamoorthy</a>, Senior Lecturer, School of Psychology and Wellbeing, Post Doctoral Fellow, Manna Institute, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-southern-queensland-1069">University of Southern Queensland</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/marg-rogers-867368">Marg Rogers</a>, Senior Lecturer, Early Childhood Education; Post Doctoral Fellow, Manna Institute, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/ive-been-diagnosed-with-cancer-how-do-i-tell-my-children-228012">original article</a>.

Family & Pets

5 reasons art therapy is great for your mental health as you age

We know how important it is to look after our <a style="color: blue;" href="https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/servicesandsupport/healthy-and-active-ageing">physical health</a> as we age, but our mental health is equally important. <a style="color: blue;" href="https://aifs.gov.au/resources/short-articles/normalising-mental-illness-older-adults-barrier-care">Studies have shown</a> that besides the immediate impact on wellbeing, older people with untreated mental ill health are at risk of poorer overall health, increased hospital admissions, and an earlier transition into aged care. Art therapy is an excellent way to boost our mental wellbeing. In a nutshell, this type of therapy is when visual art, such as drawing, sculpting, or collage, is used in a <a style="color: blue;" href="https://www.rtor.org/2018/07/10/benefits-of-art-therapy/">therapeutic context</a>. And don’t be put off if you haven’t picked up a paintbrush since you were a kid. Art therapy is not about creating works of beauty but about the process. It’s a completely <a style="color: blue;" href="https://cata.org.au/faqs-myth-busters/#:~:text=The%20focus%20of%20Creative%20Art,%2C%20growth%20and%20self%2Dawareness.&text=Reality%3A%20Creative%20Art%20Therapy%20does,to%20affect%20change%20and%20growth.">judgement free zone</a>! Emotional release: Growing up, many of us were never taught that it was okay to express how we’re feeling, especially emotions like anger and sadness. In that way, art therapy can be ideal us older folks who often feel stuck when it comes to expressing ourselves. Art therapy provides the opportunity to express our <a style="color: blue;" href="https://creativityintherapy.com/2017/06/expressing-emotions-creativity-6-step-art-process/">inner experiences</a> in a visual way. Through the act of creation, we can release pent-up feelings, reduce stress, and experience emotional release. Another challenging emotion that art therapy can help with is grief. As we age, we are more likely to experience the <a style="color: blue;" href="https://www.nari.net.au/the-impact-of-prolonged-grief-in-older-people">loss of a loved one</a> and we don’t get ‘used to it’. The hole it leaves in our hearts is just as dark. Through <a style="color: blue;" href="https://www.vivianpaans.com.au/blog/healing-through-art-how-art-therapy-can-help-with-grief-and-wellbeing">creating art</a> we can explore the feelings of grief and sadness in a safe, judgement-free space. It can also foster a sense of self-compassion and when we have more compassion for ourselves, it becomes easier to accept our emotions. Stress relief: <a style="color: blue;" href="https://www.sane.org/information-and-resources/facts-and-guides/facts-mental-health-issues">Anxiety, depression, and past traumas</a> can heavily impact on our daily lives. Risk factors over our lifespans may change but they don’t magically disappear once we hit a certain age. Illness, grief, financial stress, social isolation, and life transitions such as menopause can all be <a style="color: blue;" href="https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/older-people-and-mental-health">contributing factors</a> of poor mental health for older adults. Creating art can ease symptoms as we refocus on what we’re creating and move thoughts away from overthinking and worry. Creating art releases <a style="color: blue;" href="https://www.rtor.org/2018/07/10/benefits-of-art-therapy/">dopamine,</a> the chemical responsible for allowing us to feel pleasure and satisfaction. This further reduces bothersome symptoms of anxiety and depression. Also, participating in art therapy leads to a more creative brain. A creative brain is better equipped to create stress-relieving techniques for other areas of our lives. Through creating art, we draw the fears that are inside our minds. This takes them out of our heads and places them away from us, helping us feel more in control. Recovering from <a style="color: blue;" href="https://www.interrelate.org.au/news-media/blogs/november-2021/how-art-can-heal-trauma">trauma</a> can be a lifelong process for many, and it’s important for someone dealing with it to find tools that will help this process. Art therapy can be one of those as it can give a sense of agency and self-understanding through the ability to express feelings symbolically. This can give <a style="color: blue;" href="https://anzacata.org/About-CAT">new perspectives</a> of ourselves and our worldview which is essential in the recovery process. It can also help connect with deeply stored emotions and help process them. Self-discovery: When we are younger we are often so busy working, socialising, and raising a family many of us never get a chance to take the time out for <a style="color: blue;" href="https://www.visionpsychology.com/starting-the-process-of-self-discovery/">self-discovery</a>. Self-discovery is important in our lives as it gives us a clearer sense of purpose and direction in life. In turn, this leads to making better decisions that lead to our overall happiness. Some of us see our kids leave home and suddenly we’re left wondering, who am I when I don’t have a family to care for? Creating art can help us acknowledge and recognise feelings that have been suppressed in our subconscious. Through learning to use different techniques of art our minds open up to thinking more freely. Self-discovery comes from both the finished product we create as well as the process of making it. Self-esteem: As we age, it’s easy to look in the mirror and struggle to recognise the person we see. Our bodies are changing, and it can often feel like society doesn’t value us as much as when we were young. It can be a major shift in the way we view ourselves and lead to poor self-esteem. Art therapy teaches us how to use a variety of media to create something new. We can develop talents and see strengths as we master new materials and see the completion of projects. This sense of accomplishment can be a big leg up to our <a style="color: blue;" href="https://artbusinessnews.com/2022/01/benefits-of-art-therapy/">self-esteem.</a> A sense of community: <a style="color: blue;" href="https://likefamily.com.au/blog/what-is-loneliness-and-how-does-it-affect-someone/">Loneliness</a> is a big contributor to poor mental health. <a style="color: blue;" href="https://www.psychiatrist.com/news/study-why-older-people-feel-so-lonely/">Studies</a> show two groups of people are most at risk: young adults and older people. With factors at our age such as children leaving home, not working as much or at all, living alone, and chronic illness, it’s easy to see how loneliness can creep into our lives. Group art therapy is a wonderful way to connect with others. We share a space with those who have similar interests, and it gives us a sense of belonging. For those who can't make a session in person due to distance or illness, some therapists offer <a style="color: blue;" href="https://www.artandplaytherapytraining.com.au/art_therapy">online group art therapy</a>. You don’t need to see an art therapist to get the mental health benefits of creating art. But the advantage of that is they have the skills to work out what best suits your needs. They’ll also work with you through any tough emotions that may arise from your art therapy. So maybe it’s time to hide those new coloured pencils from the little ones, crack them open, and enjoy them yourself! If you’d like to find out more about art therapy sessions, the links below are helpful. They offer online, in person and group sessions. <a style="color: blue;" href="https://www.zevaarttherapy.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">https://www.zevaarttherapy.com/</a> <a style="color: blue;" href="https://www.alliedarttherapy.com.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">https://www.alliedarttherapy.com.au/</a> <a style="color: blue;" href="https://www.solacecreativetherapies.com.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">https://www.solacecreativetherapies.com.au/</a> <a style="color: blue;" href="https://cata.org.au/programs-ndis/online-creative-art-therapy/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">https://cata.org.au/programs-ndis/online-creative-art-therapy/</a> And for some more ideas on dabbling in art therapy on your own (or with a friend), check out Shelley Klammer’s amazing resources. She is US-based but has some online workshops that are also amazing: <a style="color: blue;" href="https://www.expressiveartworkshops.com/expressive-art-resources/100-art-therapy-exercises/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">https://www.expressiveartworkshops.com/expressive-art-resources/100-art-therapy-exercises/</a> Article written by Kylie Carberry Image: Shutterstock

Mind

Here’s why having chocolate can make you feel great or a bit sick – plus 4 tips for better eating

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/saman-khalesi-366871">Saman Khalesi</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a> Australians are <a href="https://www.retail.org.au/media/sweet-spending-boon-predicted-for-easter-retail">predicted</a> to spend around A$1.7 billion on chocolates, hot cross buns and other special foods this Easter season. Chocolate has a long history of production and consumption. It is made from cacao beans that go through processes including fermentation, drying, roasting and grounding. What is left is a rich and fatty liquor that is pressed to remove the fat (cocoa butter) and the cacao (or “cocoa”) powder which will then be mixed with different ingredients to produce dark, milk, white and other types of chocolates. There are several health benefits and potential problems that come in these sweet chocolatey packages. <h2>The good news</h2> Cacao beans contain <a href="https://foodstruct.com/food/cocoa-bean">minerals</a> like iron, potassium, magnesium, zinc and phosphorus and some vitamins. They are also rich in beneficial chemicals called <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23150750/">polyphenols</a>. These are great antioxidants, with the potential to <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5465250/">improve heart health</a>, increase <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25164923/">nitric oxide</a> (which dilates blood vessels) and <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3488419/">reduce blood pressure</a>, provide food for gut microbiota and <a href="https://www.mdpi.com/2072-6643/12/7/1908">promote gut health</a>, boost the <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5465250/">immune system</a> and reduce inflammation. However, the concentration of polyphenols in the chocolate we eat depends largely on the cocoa solid amounts used in the final product. In general terms, the darker the chocolate, the more cocoa solids, minerals and polyphenols it has. For example, dark chocolates may have around <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10942912.2011.614984">seven times more polyphenols</a> compared to white chocolates and <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10942912.2011.614984">three times more polyphenols</a> compared to milk chocolates. <h2>But also some bad news</h2> Unfortunately, the <a href="https://theconversation.com/treat-or-treatment-chocolate-is-good-but-cocoa-is-better-for-your-heart-3084">health benefits of cocoa solids</a> are easily offset by the high sugar and fat content of modern-day chocolates. For example, milk and white chocolate eggs are on average 50% sugar, 40% fat (mostly saturated fats) – which means a lot of added kilojoules (calories). Also, there may be some side effects that come with ingesting chocolate. Cocoa beans include a compound called theobromine. While it has the anti-inflammatory properties responsible for some of the health benefits of chocolate, it is also a mild brain stimulant that acts in a similar way to caffeine. The mood boost it offers may also be partly responsible for how much we <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fphar.2015.00030/full?crsi=662496658&cicada_org_src=healthwebmagazine.com&cicada_org_mdm=direct">like chocolate</a>. Dark chocolate has higher theobromine compared to milk and white chocolate. But accordingly, overindulging in chocolate (and therefore theobromine) may lead to feeling restless, <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3672386/">headaches</a> and nausea. <h2>What else is in your chocolate?</h2> Milk and dairy-based chocolates may also cause stomach upset, abdominal pain and bloating in people with <a href="https://dietitiansaustralia.org.au/health-advice/lactose-intolerance">lactose intolerance</a>. This happens when we don’t produce enough lactase enzymes to digest milk sugar (lactose). People with lactose intolerance can usually tolerate up to 6 grams of lactose without showing symptoms. Milk chocolate can have around <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK310258/">3 grams of lactose</a> per 40 grams (the size of a standard chocolate bar). So two chocolate bars (or the equivalent in milk chocolate eggs or bunnies) may be enough to cause symptoms. It’s worth noting that lactase enzyme activity dramatically declines as we age, with the highest activity in newborns and children. So lactose sensitivity or intolerance may not be such an issue for your kids and your symptoms may increase over time. Genetics also plays a major role in how sensitive people are to lactose. <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6815241/">Allergic reactions</a> to chocolate are usually due to the added ingredients or cross-contamination with potential allergens such as nuts, milk, soy, and some sweeteners used in the production of chocolate. Symptoms can be mild (acne, rashes and stomach pain) or more severe (swelling of the throat and tongue and shortness of breath). If you or your family members have known allergic reactions, make sure you read the label before indulging – especially in a whole block or basket of the stuff. And if you or your family members do experience symptoms of an allergic reaction after eating chocolate, <a href="https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/allergic-reactions-emergency-first-aid">seek medical attention</a> immediately. <h2>4 take home tips</h2> So, if you are like me and have a weakness for chocolate there are a few things you can do to make the experience a good one.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/202848/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <ol> <li>keep an eye out for the darker chocolate varieties with higher cocoa solids. You may notice a percentage on labelling, which refers to how much of its weight is from cocoa beans. In general, the higher this percentage, the lower the sugar. White chocolate has almost no cocoa solid, and mostly cocoa butter, sugar and other ingredients. Dark chocolate has 50–100% cocoa beans, and less sugar. Aim for at least 70% cocoa</li> <li>read the fine print for additives and possible cross-contamination, especially if allergies might be an issue</li> <li>the ingredients list and nutrition information panel should tell you all about the chocolate you choosing. Go for varieties with lower sugar and less saturated fat. Nuts, seeds and dried fruits are better ingredients to have in your chocolate than sugar, creme, syrup, and caramel</li> <li>finally, treat yourself – but keep the amount you have within sensible limits!</li> </ol> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/saman-khalesi-366871">Saman Khalesi</a>, Postdoctoral Fellow of the National Heart Foundation & Senior Lecturer and Discipline Lead in Nutrition, School of Health, Medical and Applied Sciences, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/heres-why-having-chocolate-can-make-you-feel-great-or-a-bit-sick-plus-4-tips-for-better-eating-202848">original article</a>.

Food & Wine

Woman allegedly murders great-aunt with spaghetti

Italian police are investigating the bizarre alleged murder of Maria Basso, 80. Paola Pepe, her young great-niece, was arrested for the alleged murder after she was believed to have force-fed Basso with spaghetti, Italian newspaper Corriere della Sera reported. Basso was vulnerable to choking if she did not eat finely chopped or pureed food, despite this Pepe still took out her great-aunt for a meal in a Sicily restaurant in December 2022. She allegedly bought Basso spaghetti, and two days later her great-aunt was dead, after some of the pasta allegedly got lodged in her airways. Her death initially looked like an accident, until Italian police launched further investigations and found that Pepe had amended her great-aunt's will just two days before the meal. The Corriere della Sera reported Pepe had taken an unusual interest in her great-aunt's finances in the months leading up to her death after she had unexpectedly turned up during Basso's 80th birthday, and spent hours alone with her. Pepe eventually moved Basso to a care home 1300 kilometres away, without telling her close family members, and reportedly did not take any of Basso's medication or personal belongings to the new home. Police alleged that after isolating her great-aunt, she managed to convince Basso to change her will so that Pepe was named sole beneficiary of Basso's estate, which was worth $775,000. Basso initially intended to give her estate to a charity, as she had no children according to local media. Pepe has denied all accusations and was bailed, but is wearing a police ankle bracelet while waiting for her trial. Image: Strettoweb

Legal

Cancer survivor becomes world's strongest great-grandmother

An Australian great-grandmother has become a world-record holder for an impressive feat in the gym. Heather Maddern, 80, found a new love of weightlifting after she decided to hit the gym to regain strength after beating cancer three times. Now, she is officially the world's strongest great-grandmother. "I hold the Australian and world record for an 80-year-old lady. It's amazing," she told <a href="https://9now.nine.com.au/a-current-affair/great-grandmother-strongest-powerlifting-world-records/ffe9aa0e-9fc9-40b5-b8ff-d8744b37de0c" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A Current Affair</a>. "I just absolutely love the life I am living and I put it all down to powerlifting." Maddern, who suffers from Parkinsons, lifted the record-breaking 80kgs in Brisbane at a powerlifting competition, saying she is "absolutely chuffed" to break the world record for her age group. Reflecting on the moment she broke the record, Maddern said, "I just put it [the bar] down and went through the crowd with a big smile on my face, I was absolutely chuffed." Before the great-grandmother discovered her love for lifting weights, she was barely able to walk up and down stairs due to extensive chemotherapy and radiation to treat her cancer, and decided to make a change. "I was very weak, my posture wasn't very good. I was extremely tired. I knew I had to do something to change it, otherwise it would keep getting worse and worse," she said. Her coach, Jill Cox, said, "We had to help Heather walk down the stairs to get into the gym. She is inspirational. what she can do, anybody can do." Heather's life has changed drastically since she regularly started going to the gym, and despite being 80 years old, she has never felt better. "My son six months ago thought I was totally crazy, now they are all so very proud of me," she said. "I just feel so fit. Mentally I feel clearer headed and happy all of the time." Image credits: A Current Affair

Body

World mourns the passing of one of the true greats of cinema

Renowned British-Irish actor, Sir Michael Gambon, celebrated worldwide for his iconic portrayal of Albus Dumbledore in the beloved Harry Potter film series, has passed away at the age of 82. In an official statement relayed by his publicist, it was confirmed that he succumbed to pneumonia, leaving his family and fans heartbroken. The statement issued by his family reads, "We are devastated to announce the loss of Sir Michael Gambon. Beloved husband and father, Michael died peacefully in the hospital with his wife Anne and son Fergus by his side." Michael Gambon's acting journey spanned more than half a century, with one of his most significant milestones being his assumption of the role of Dumbledore in the Harry Potter series, succeeding the late Richard Harris in 2004. In characteristic humility, Gambon downplayed his performance, often remarking that he merely portrayed himself "with a stuck-on beard and a long robe". The Harry Potter franchise expressed its grief, stating, "He brought immeasurable joy to Harry Potter fans from all over the world with his humour, kindness, and grace. We will forever hold his memory in our hearts." <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> We are incredibly saddened to hear of the passing of Sir Michael Gambon. He brought immeasurable joy to Harry Potter fans from all over the world with his humour, kindness and grace. We will forever hold his memory in our hearts. <a href="https://t.co/1CoTF3zeTo">pic.twitter.com/1CoTF3zeTo</a> — Harry Potter (@harrypotter) <a href="https://twitter.com/harrypotter/status/1707371391866028071?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 28, 2023</a></blockquote> James Phelps, known for his portrayal of Fred Weasley in the series, shared a touching anecdote on Instagram, recounting how Gambon generously helped him rehearse a script during the filming of "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince". Phelps hailed Gambon as both a legend on and off the camera, describing him as funny and always willing to share his knowledge. Gambon embarked on his acting career in the early 1960s, initially treading the boards of the stage before transitioning to television and film. His filmography boasted remarkable performances, such as his portrayal of a psychotic mob leader in Peter Greenaway's The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover in 1989 and his portrayal of the elderly King George V in Tom Hooper's The King's Speech in 2010. Despite an early start in engineering apprenticeship, Gambon's passion for acting remained unwavering. He recounted to The Herald newspaper in 2004 that he always knew he would become an actor. His breakthrough came in 1962 when he auditioned for the legendary Laurence Olivier, who subsequently appointed him as one of the founding members of the National Theatre at the Old Vic, alongside emerging talents like Derek Jacobi and Maggie Smith. Gambon's reputation soared on the stage, with his portrayal of Galileo in John Dexter's Life of Galileo in 1980 being a standout moment. In the 1980s, his lead role in the TV series The Singing Detective garnered widespread acclaim, earning him one of his four BAFTA Awards. Additionally, he clinched three Olivier Awards and two Screen Actors Guild Awards for ensemble cast performances in Gosford Park (2001) and The King's Speech. Acknowledged for his contributions to drama, Gambon was honoured as a Commander of the British Empire in 1992 and subsequently knighted in 1998. Despite these prestigious titles, he often displayed a mischievous side, weaving tales such as showing fellow actors a forged signed photograph of Robert De Niro, among other playful antics. In 2015, Gambon retired from the stage due to long-term memory issues, yet he continued to grace the screen with his talent until 2019. In a 2002 interview, he expressed that his work made him feel "the luckiest man in the world". Images: Getty / Instagram

News

"One of the greats": Elton John's stirring tribute to Michael Parkinson

The entertainment world has been cast into a somber veil of mourning as it bids farewell to the iconic Michael Parkinson, the legendary interviewer who has left us at the age of 88. Elton John, David Attenborough, Michael Caine, Eric Idle ...the long list of luminaries who have joined the chorus of heartfelt tributes to the "TV titan" and the undisputed "king of the chat show" seems limitless. The poignant words of Oscar-winning Michael Caine resonate with a sense of irreparable loss: “Michael Parkinson was irreplaceable," he wrote. "He was charming, always wanted to have a good laugh. He brought the best of everyone he met. Always looked forward to be interviewed by him.” David Attenborough's reflection on his interactions with the man affectionately known as "Parky" evokes a sense of melancholic nostalgia: “He was extremely generous, he wanted you to shine and would always laugh at your jokes and give you an opportunity to make them sound funnier than in fact they were. It was always friendly, it was always thorough, it was always intelligent, it was always a pleasure to do it and I think that came over no matter who his interviewee was.” Elton John said Parkinson was “a TV legend who was one of the greats. I loved his company and his incredible knowledge of cricket and Barnsley Football Club. A real icon who brought out the very best in his guests. Condolences and love to Mary and his family." <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CwC4JoBMmKq/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CwC4JoBMmKq/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Elton John (@eltonjohn)</a> </div> </blockquote> The reminiscences continue, with Stephen Fry's words dripping with a bittersweet tone, saying that being interviewed by Parkinson was an experience of impossibly intense thrill. “The genius of Parky was that (unlike most people (and most of his guests, me included) he was always 100 per cent himself. On camera and off. ‘Authentic’ is the word I suppose,” he wrote. “For one of the shows I was on with Robin Williams, a genius of unimaginable comic speed and brilliance. Now they’re both gone. “One should get used to the parade of people constantly falling off the edge, but frankly one doesn’t. So long #parky.” The poignant announcement of the loss came from Parkinson's family. “After a brief illness Sir Michael Parkinson passed away peacefully at home last night in the company of his family,” the statement read. “The family request that they are given privacy and time to grieve.” The memories flood in as the recollection of Parkinson's rise to prominence in the 1970s fills the air with a sense of wistfulness. His list of more than 2000 interviewees includes luminaries such as Sir Billy Connolly, Muhammad Ali, Prince Philip, Sir Elton John, Madonna, and Paul McCartney. Four-time guest Muhammad Ali's absence echoes through time as Parkinson's voice emerges: “When people ask me who I most enjoyed interviewing, I’m unable to give them an answer”, Parkinson once said in an interview. “If they ask me who was the most remarkable man I ever met, I answer without hesitation – Muhammad Ali. I interviewed him four times – I lost on every occasion.” These titanic verbal sparring matches stand as poignant testimonies of the show's indelible legacy, underscoring their magnetic effect on millions of viewers. Among the program's other poignant moments, the chaos induced by Rod Hull's puppet Emu assaulting Parkinson on his own talk show couch remains etched in memory. Parkinson jestingly admitted that his career would forever be epitomised by "that bloody bird". Images: Getty / BBC 1

Caring

15 great kitchen hacks to extend the life of food and save on waste

If you’re sick of throwing food in the bin (and wasting money), try these simple tips to reduce your wastage in the kitchen. 1. Use food scraps to grow vegetables Save the odds and ends from veggies such as potatoes, sweet potatoes, leeks, spring onions, celery, bok choy, garlic and even onions. These can all be replanted in some soil and will grow back. Just don’t forget to water them. 2. Reheat leftover slices of pizza in a frying pan If you aren’t a fan of floppy microwaved pizza, just pop your pizza into a hot fry pan instead. Your crusts will stay crispy and it will heat through much faster than it would in the oven. 3. Bring stale potato chips back to life in the microwave If you left the bag open overnight, fear not. Pop your stale chips in the microwave on high for 10 seconds or until crisp. 4. Use leftover herbs to make herb butter If your herbs are on the turn, just chop them up and mix with some melted butter. Pop it into some ice cube trays and freeze. Then you can enjoy the perfect portion of herb butter to use on your steak or to make homemade garlic bread. 5. Keep bananas fresher by wrapping the tips If you want your bananas to last longer in the fruit bowl, just wrap their tips with some cling film. They should keep for around three to five days longer. 6. Keep greens fresher in foil Celery, broccoli, and lettuce all last much longer in the fridge if you wrap them in foil first. 7. Keep pineapples sweet by storing upside down The sugars in this fruit can all end up on the bottom after the time spent in transit. So keep your pineapple upside down when you get home and the sweetness will be redistributed evenly. 8. Use a glass to peel a mango You can use a glass to slide the skin off your mango. This will avoid wasting any fruit that you’d normally toss after peeling with a knife. 9. Make a two-ingredient Nutella milkshake When you need a sweet treat but you’re nearly out of Nutella, just add warm milk to the jar and shake well. 10. Avoid sprouting potatoes by storing them with apples The ethylene gas in the apples helps to stop your potatoes from sprouting. 11. Keep leftover avocado fresh by storing it with a sliced onion There is sulfur in the onion and this keeps the avocado from going brown. 12. Keep cake fresh by covering with sliced bread Cover the exposed cake with some bread held in place with toothpicks and it will stay soft. 13. Extend the life of your eggs with vegetable oil By rubbing the eggshells with vegetable oil it will keep them fresher in the fridge for three to four weeks. 14. Keep lettuce fresh by storing in a brown paper bag No more sad and limp leaves! Keep your lettuce wrapped in a brown paper bag in the fridge. Plus, keeping the outer layers in place even if they have gone brown will keep the inside fresher for longer. 15. Reuse coffee grounds in the garden Plants such as roses, hydrangeas, blueberries, raspberries, strawberries and tomatoes will all appreciate a liberal sprinkling of your used coffee grounds. Related links: <a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/home-garden/2015/12/stains-never-to-clean-with-water/">4 stains you shouldn’t use water to clean</a> <a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/home-garden/2015/12/household-tricks-from-the-1900s-2/">More great vintage household tricks from the 1900s</a> <a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/home-garden/2015/12/alternatives-to-wrapping-paper/">8 DIY alternatives to wrapping paper</a>

Home Hints & Tips

7 things you should pass on to your grandkids

No one wants to think about what will happen when they’re no longer around, but thoughtfully choosing what to leave to your family will ensure your memory endures long after you’re gone. Here are the 10 things you should pass on to your grandchildren to help them remember you as you always were. <ol> <li>Your passport(s) – What better token of your life is there than a chronicle of all the incredible places you’ve visited? Your passports will inspire those you love to pack up their bags and follow in your footsteps.</li> <li>Your wedding album – By passing on your beloved wedding photos, long after you and your partner are gone, your love story will continue to inspire generations after you – and maybe offer some style ideas to vintage-loving brides-to-be in your family!</li> <li>Something belonging to your parents – If you have an old possession that used to belong to a parent, grandparent or even great-grandparent, giving it to your grandchildren will ensure their ancestors will live on through future generations.</li> <li>Something sentimental – Photo albums are all well and good, but passing on something you love, which is truly special to you, will always remind your grandchildren of you. Just imagine their smiles as they look down on a watch or ring gifted to them by their beloved nan or pop.</li> <li>A photo of the first time you met them – Who could forget the first time they meet their newborn grandchild? Share this moment with them and write on the back of the photo just how you felt when you held them for the first time.</li> <li>Your favourite music, books, and movies – There’s nothing like music to bring back memories of people and places. Fill a bag (or load a USB) with your all-time favourite songs, books and movies so your family will always have something to lift their spirits when they’re feeling down.</li> <li>Stories – while possessions are great, stories and memories are what will endure for decades after you’ve gone. Any chance you get, share a memory or a story with your loved ones, whether it’s about your life or theirs, and get a conversation going.</li> </ol> Images: Getty

Retirement Life

The most beloved grandparents in film

Grandparents – they’re wise, loving and occasionally grumpy. They also make some of the best characters in films. So grab the popcorn, gather the grandkids and show them how amazing grandparents are! Queen Clarisse Renaldi in The Princess Diaries Played by the graceful Julie Andrew, the ruler of the fictional country Genovia needs to teach her granddaughter and heir Mia (Anne Hathaway) how to be Queen. It’s the growing relationship – from heated arguments to acceptance and understanding – between the two that makes this movie. Aurora Greenway in Terms of Endearment In possibly the best movie made about the mother-daughter relationship, Oscar-winning Shirley MacLaine plays the mother who puts years of hostility behind her to care for terminally ill daughter Emma (Debra Winger). However, it’s her role as a grandparent that brings her ultimate redemption becoming the guardian to her three grandchildren. Warning: tissues are a must in this film. Grandma Annie in The Proposal Although she has no grandchildren, Betty White always plays the most hilarious nanas. Grandma Annie’s 90th birthday party is the big event where the romance between Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds finally comes to fruition. Even 60 years into her career, Betty White’s comical facial expressions will still make you laugh. Grandpa Joe in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory The bedridden grandfather decides to take his first steps into the outside world for his beloved grandson Charlie. The grandfather and grandson together experience a fantastical adventure of a life time, a trip to Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. The Grandfather in The Princess Bride The anonymous grandfather played by Peter Falk entertains his sick grandson (Fred Savage) with a good-old fashioned adventure story. Although reluctant at first, the grandson is soon just as caught up as we are about the tale of the masked man saving the beautiful princess. Carl Fredricksen in Up Although not technically a grandfather, the animated story of a grumpy 78-year old man who forms an unlikely friendship with 8-year-old wilderness explorer Russell is a beautiful story of the generations’ comings together. Because of Russell, Carl learns to live again, something he never thought possible after the death of his wife many years ago. Images: Wolper Pictures

Movies

Why you should encourage your grandchildren to write stories

In an article published in <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/41405103" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Language Arts</a>, educators who were interested in encouraging children to write were asked why it was important for children to be encouraged to write. Their reasons were varied and interesting, and worth considering for anyone who has a young child in their life – let’s take a look at some: 1. To entertain As humans, we tell stories for many reasons, but perhaps the foremost reason is that we want to entertain one another. By encouraging children to write their own stories, they can discover what entertains them, as well as what entertains others – well-told, engaging stories. 2. To stimulate the imagination By creating from nothing a story full of characters and original plots, a child’s imagination grows and develops. 3. To search for identity When children write their own stories, they can use the conflict and characters to take their first steps on their search for identity. The power simple stories can have on a child’s self-development is remarkable. 4. To improve reading and writing skills Children need to read and write, so we may as well find a way to make it more interesting for them. Not only will writing help kids learn how to read, it can also help them understand literary devices (suspense, twist, dramatic irony, etc.), and grammatical structures. Now that we’ve explored some of the reasons creativity in writing in our kids, let’s find some ways to help get them started: 5. Inspiration exploration When you’re spending time with your grandchildren, make a game out of looking for fun story inspirations. Interesting newspaper headlines, a unique-looking house, a colouring-in book. You could even keep a box full of story inspirations to explore together with your grandchildren. 6. Unblank the page Anyone who has ever sat down to write knows there’s nothing more intimidating than a blank page. To help kids out, try giving them the opening line to a story. You can create these yourself, find a list of opening lines on the internet, or even borrow the opening line of a book on your own shelf. 7. Work all of the mind If you find that your grandchildren have difficulty focusing on just words, encourage them to explore other aspects of their own creativity by using visuals. Storyboards, illustrations, or even writing the story as a comic book can help stimulate storytelling. Image credit: Shutterstock

Family & Pets

When babysitting your grandkids is not the retirement plan

Megan Giles is a retirement designer for women. She supports and coaches women approaching retirement to successfully transition and create a lifestyle that is fulfilling, meaningful to them and lights them up each day. You’re retiring, or maybe you’re about to cut down to part-time hours and you can smell freedom in the air. You have the schedule for a pilates studio on your fridge, a list of restaurants to try, and a couple ideas for that abandoned corner of your garden. At last you have time to do all of those things you’ve always wanted to do. And then the phone rings. “Mum, now that you’re not working, it would be great if you could look after [grandchild] on a Friday…” And your heart sinks. You love your grandchild to bits, but a regular baby-sitting gig is not part of your plan. While this is the perfect scenario for many people approaching retirement, it’s important to recognise that it’s not for everyone. What happens if your family has other ideas for your life after work, e.g. caring for grandchildren, or they have assumptions about what you can and can't (or shouldn't!) do in retirement. Do you acquiesce and abandon your dreams or do you recognise the value of your time and dreams and decide to ‘just go for it’? The trouble with choosing to pursue your own path is the huge amount of guilt this can bring up, particularly for women. You feel that you should be there for your children and grandchildren. You know that your support will make their life easier as they have demanding jobs and because the cost of living and day care is expensive. Or perhaps you convince yourself that you do have the time and energy because, well, you’re not working anymore. But the risk that goes with this is that you start to feel resentful because you’re not being true to your dreams. Broaching this with adult children, however, can be a tricky thing to do. It brings up conflicting emotions including love, guilt, joy, fear and obligation and the last thing you want to do is make a loved one feel bad. In recognition of this, the following provides tips for sharing your retirement ideals with your family in a positive way: <ul> <li>Make an uninterrupted time to talk. While it might be an easy time to catch your children, try to avoid the early evening ‘witching hour’ when feeding and bathing can create mayhem</li> <li>Share your goals. Rather than assuming your family know what will be important to you, let them know what you would like to get out of retirement, particularly while you are active and have good health</li> <li>Articulate your concerns or fears. Let them know, for example, that you worry about being able to keep up with your energetic grandchild, or that you risk letting them down in the longer term when you decide to go travelling and can’t do that regular Tuesday ‘gig’</li> <li>Listen to what it is that your adult children are seeking and see if you can come up with alternate options together (it doesn’t always have to be one thing or the other)</li> <li>Let your family know that you love and care for them unconditionally. Not being able to provide regular baby-sitting duties does not mean that you love them any less</li> </ul> As the saying goes, you first have to look after yourself before you can look after others and this applies especially in retirement. However uncomfortable it may seem initially, have the conversation in order to understand and align both your and your family’s expectations, and then give yourself permission to follow your dreams in retirement! Images: Getty

Retirement Life

5 common questions about cruising with grandchildren

Travelling with your grandchildren can be a rewarding experience. By the same token though if you're not properly prepared it can be quite a trying experience. In many ways that's why cruising is such a great option for family holidays. With everything taken care of a lot of the problems that normally come with travelling with children simply don't exist. In case you need a little more convincing, here's the answers to five of the most common questions about cruising with grandchildren. 1. Will our grandkids get bored? Cruise lines are becoming increasingly family friendly and incorporating a range of activities all the kiddies will enjoy. Some cruise lines offer kids clubs which are dedicated spaces with camp-like programming, others have activities like scavenger hunts, cooking classes and sports tournaments. 2. Will our grandchildren be able to eat the meals? On bigger cruise ships most menus have a kids menu that caters to children’s tastes and buffet usually has a range of kid-friendly options that will have your grandchildren happy enough. 3. Can grandkids bring their portable game devices aboard? Most cruise lines are more than accommodating when it comes to things like portable video game players, tablets, e-book readers and computers. There are generally also game systems set up in kids clubs for your children to enjoy. 4. Will my grandchildren be safe in common areas? Generally yes, but it’s also important to be responsible. Consider cruise ships like mini-floating cities carrying thousands of people you do not know at any one time. So it stands to reason that you’re doing yourself a huge favour by taking the general precautions that you’d take elsewhere. 5. Is it worth taking my grandchildren on a cruise? Of course it is! Travel is the only purchase in life that makes you richer, as they say, and instilling a thirst for travel in your grandchildren is a gift that sees their possibilities expand. And cruising really is one of the safest, most convenient ways to show your grandchildren the world. Images: Getty

Cruising

Royals share unseen photo of Queen Elizabeth with her great-grandchildren

The royal family have shared a touching tribute to the late Queen Elizabeth on what would have been her 97th birthday. The late monarch was beaming as she was pictured with some of her grand-children and great-grandchildren, in a sweet snap taken by the Princess of Wales in Balmoral last summer. “Today would have been Her Late Majesty Queen Elizabeth’s 97th birthday. This photograph - showing her with some of her grandchildren and great grandchildren - was taken at Balmoral last summer,” they captioned the photo shared on Instagram. Queen Elizabeth was pictured with two of her grandchildren and eight of her 12 great-grandchildren. In the photo, Lady Louise Windsor and her brother James, Viscount Severn, stood tall and proud behind their grandmother. Prince George, Princess Charlotte, and Prince Louis stood in the second row alongside Isla Phillips, 11, and four-year-old Lena Tindall, who was perched on the left arm of the sofa with a cheeky grin on her face. The eldest of the late Monarch's great-grandchildren, Savannah Phillips, 12, sat next to her great-grandmother looking particularly poised in a dotted red dress. Mia Tindall, nine, sat on the other side of the late Queen, while carefully holding her baby brother, Lucas, in her lap. <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CrTCXEqtQ1G/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CrTCXEqtQ1G/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by The Prince and Princess of Wales (@princeandprincessofwales)</a> </div> </blockquote> However, some of the great-grandchildren were missing including the children of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, the son of Princess Eugenie and Jack Brooksbank, and the daughter of Princess Beatrice and Edo Mappeli Mozzi. The Instagram post comes seven months after the Queen's death. Image: Instagram

Family & Pets

The benefits of doing arts and crafts with grandkids

Arts and crafts activities have a wide range of relational and health benefits for you and your grandchildren. Whether you make a craft activity, do embroidery or do painting and drawing to allow them to express their creativity, you will create special memories with your grandchildren. Here are some key benefits of doing arts and crafts together. 1. Flexible bonding Arts and crafts is an activity that can be enjoyed one afternoon or can be continued over various visits to your grandchildren. Working together on a project and seeing it through until completion is a fun and genuine way to bond with someone. Grandchildren will also see the effort you taken to prepare something fun for them. Arts and crafts will allow you to invest in your relationship by doing an activity that will create special memories as you make your art and then at the end of your project you will have physical memorabilia of the time you spent together working on your craft. 2. Fun learning Immersing yourself in arts and crafts have a huge range of health benefits for both you and your grandchildren. Arts and crafts can hone fine mother skills due to the repetition of various small movements and concentration. It can also improve coordination as hand movements have to be direct and precise. Arts and crafts can also improve concentration levels and visual processing abilities. Visual processing is a skill that is key in a child’s early years as they learn names and identification of primary colours and objects. 3. Improves self-esteem Once a child has finished creating a craft activity they will have a sense of accomplishment because they created something. While you are doing the arts and crafts with your grandchild, you will have plenty of opportunity to observe their skills and encourage them along the way. 4. Teaches them to express themselves Arts and crafts allow children to express what is on their minds as they tend to be very visual with the emotions and thoughts they are experiencing. Activities such as painting and drawing is particularly great for children who are shy as it will give insight to what is on their mind. Images: Getty

Family & Pets

Fun camping activities for the whole family

Dust off the tent and grab the sleeping bags because it is well and truly camping season! A traditional summer pursuit for many families, camping is not only great fun for all ages but a wonderful family bonding times. If you’re camping with the extended family this season, here are some activities that will engage even the most disinterested kid. Get ready for some wholesome fun that does not involve technology! Scavenger hunt Make it a competition so everyone, even the adults, get involved and active! As you will likely be around nature, create a nature-themed hunt. It can be as simple as collecting items like leaves of certain colours, different shaped rocks, snail shells or even spotting different types of bugs and animals. In this case, get everyone to take a photo of the item. Make sure you warn kids of things to avoid like certain poisonous or prickly plants that might be around. Obstacle course Create the ultimate outdoor obstacle course to challenge the whole family. It can be as easy or hard as you want so set it to accommodate all ages and activity levels in the family. Obstacles like crawling under picnic tables, skipping stones, long jumps on a beach, hanging off a branch are all options. Use what is at your campsite and race each other with the ‘losers’ having to cook dinner or collect firewood. Nature watching Since the whole family will be in the thick of the bush, take the time to get to know nature better! Most national parks and campsites will have brochures of types of animals and birds in the area or grab a guidebook and go bird and animal watching. Or learn about the different types of flora in the area. Just be sure to respect nature and not damage anything. Learn new skills A camping trip is a great time to teach the kids how to read maps and compasses (or brush up if you are rusty). Reading a map and compass is quickly becoming a lost skill but one which is still important. Make it a bit more fun by going orienteering. Create an easy compass course and see how well the family follows directions. Cook up a treat If you are lucky enough to have a big campfire blazing away at night don’t waste the opportunity and cook up some camp favourites. The classic damper is a great option, otherwise toasting marshmallows while sharing stories is the perfect way to unwind at night. Or you can create s’mores, an American favourite of marshmallows and chocolate sandwiched between crackers. Ghost stories Even the most disinterested grandkids will be engrossed with a night time session of ghost stories around the campfire. Engulfed in the blackness of night with not much signs of civility, the scare factor is heightened. If nobody can think of any good ones (we recommend you have some prepared to scare everyone!) or the grandkids are too young, play the game where everyone contributes a sentence which slowly builds an often outrageous and hilarious tale. Image credit: Shutterstock

Travel Tips

3 great travel tips from those with experience

1. Search for deals Whether it be for flights or accommodation, thanks to the internet, there’s always a way to find cheaper travel than booking on the airline’s website. One tip to save money on flights (even though it is a bit of a pain) is to select flights with stopovers; although it’ll take a little longer, it will always be cheaper than a one-stop flight. As for accommodation, book motels or stay in hostels or simply search for deals on third-party websites. Be patient! 2. Get travel insurance Yes, it's annoying to have to pay for a “just in case” situation on top of flights, planned activities and accommodation, but it is the most sensible thing to do when travelling, especially internationally. A common saying is, “if you can’t afford travel insurance, you can’t afford to travel”, and it reigns true. You could sustain an injury that hospitalises you in another country, so to get out of paying absurd fees, lock in travel insurance to keep yourself safe. 3. Never exchange money in your home country Exchange your money in the foreign country you’re travelling to. Most airports and banks have horrible exchange rates. You’re always better off getting money out at the ATM once you’ve arrived at the destination. If you don’t want to pay ATM fees, look into getting an international ATM card! Image credit: Shutterstock

Travel Tips

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