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Woman horrified after man brings his mother to first date

A woman has been left stunned after her crush invited his mother to infiltrate their first date. The young woman took to Reddit to recall the mortifying moment, and to ask users if she was out of line by leaving the awkward date. The 23-year-old began the story by explaining how she matched with a 25-year-old man, who she referred to as Jake, on the dating app Hinge. She explained that the couple had been “chatting for a few weeks, and he seemed like a solid guy — funny, good taste in music, and even remembered I loved Italian food.” “He planned the date at this nice little spot in Dallas, which I thought was sweet,” she added. She continued, “I show up, and everything's fine at first. He's already there, we hug, and he even complimented my outfit.” “But like five minutes after I sit down, this older woman walks in. Jake stands up, waves her over, and says, ‘This is my mom!’ 'I thought I misheard him for a second.” After he introduced his mother to his date, she pulled up a chair and began asking the 23-year-old a slew of invasive questions. “She sits down at the table, all casual, and starts introducing herself to me like this is normal. Meanwhile, I'm sitting there, trying to figure out if I'm being pranked. I kind of laugh nervously and say, ‘Oh, I didn't know you were bringing anyone,’ and he goes, ‘Oh, she just wanted to meet you. Don't worry—it's not a big deal’.” “But it was a big deal because she didn't just stop by to say hi — she ordered wine and stayed. The whole time, she's asking me these personal questions about my job, my family, even if I want kids someday.” “It was like an interview, not a date. Jake barely said anything. He just smiled and kept nodding like this was all normal,” she revealed. The woman then shared that after 20 minutes of the awkward encounter, she decided to leave, and texted Jake that same evening to say she didn’t want to go on another date. She said, “I couldn't take it anymore. I said I wasn't feeling great and needed to leave. I texted him later, saying I didn't think it would work out and wished him well.” Although she thought she did the right thing, she began doubting her decision and questioned if she was in the wrong. The 23-year-old concluded the post by asking, '”Now I feel kind of bad. My roommate says I did the right thing because honestly, who brings their mom to a first date? But my coworker said it was rude to just leave and that maybe his mom was just super close to him or nervous for him or whatever. Was I wrong for walking out?” Reddit users flocked to the comments section and ran to her defence as they slammed Jake for bringing his mother along on the date. One person said, “It's absurd that he would bring her. Unless she needs constant supervision due to some health issue. That is a very strange dynamic. You did what most anyone else would have done. Best of luck.” Image credits: Shutterstock

Relationships

Mother helps raise over $1 million for her children ahead of her death

A single mother from America has left an enduring financial legacy to her two young children in the weeks before her untimely death. Erika Diarte-Carr, 30, started a <a href="https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-erika-and-her-children-with-funeral-expenses" target="_blank" rel="noopener">GoFundMe</a> page after she was diagnosed with terminal cancer in order to cover costs of her own funeral, as well as providing funds to raise her two kids, Jeremiah, 7, and Aaliyah, 5. After setting the fundraising goal for $5,000 USD, generous members of her community spread the word of her selfless actions, with the fundraiser now reaching over $1.7 million USD and counting. Titled “Support Erika: A Mother planning her own funeral”, the page has garnered more than 38,000 individual donations. The page reads, “Dear family, friends and to all of those of you who may or may not know know me..." “My name is Erika Diarte-Carr. I am 30 years old and a single mother of two beautiful children. Jeremiah (7) and Aaliyah (5). ❤️ They are my whole life, light and soul. My children are my fight and what keep me going.” The mother then shared the tragic details of her cancer journey, as she recalled being diagnosed with stage 4 terminal cancer in May 2022 after presenting for “normal shoulder surgery”. “By that point, the damage had already been done. In that moment, mine and my kids’ entire lives had changed forever, as well as all of those around us,” she wrote. On top of her cancer diagnosis, Erika was hit with another blow in January 2024 as she was diagnosed with Cushing's Syndrome, which resulted in rapid weight gain, Type 2 diabetes, and further debilitating symptoms the mother claimed had “taken so much away” from her family. The page was updated in mid-September upon advice Ms Diarte-Carr had just three months to live and that treatments would “no longer help”. The mother added to the GoFundMe page how the excess funds would be allocated, writing, “For anyone’s concern, all the funds that have exceeded my funeral costs goal will be now put into a trust fund for my babies that way I can leave behind something for them and I can still ensure they are going to be ok as they grow up." On October 4th, the mother thanked donors and announced she and her family were able to take one final trip together hoping to leave her kids with “memories that’ll last a lifetime”. Just days later, Erika's cousin shared a post to social media to announce that Erika had passed away on October 12th. “It is with a heavy heart that this is the final update I will be giving for my cousin Erika,” she wrote on Facebook. “She fought a long and hard battle. She was strong and held on as long as she could for her babies. I know she was so thankful for all of your support and love and prayers.” Image credits: GoFundMe

Caring

Nicole Kidman confirms heartbreaking family news

Nicole Kidman has confirmed that her mum, Janelle, has passed away. In a brief statement, Nicole's representatives confirmed the death to US news outlets, with the statement reading, “The family is heartbroken and asks for privacy at this time.” The news of her mother's death came as the Aussie actress touched down in Italy for the Venice Film Festival, before she promptly left to join her sister, Antonia, and their extended family in Australia. At the film festival, Nicole was named Best Actress for her work in the new film Babygirl, whose director Halina Reijn accepted on Nicole's behalf while paying tribute to Janelle and her impact on the actress's stellar career. “Today I arrived in Venice to learn shortly thereafter that my beautiful, brave mother, Janelle Ann Kidman, has just passed,” Nicole said, via a statement that was read on stage in Venice by Reijn. “I’m in shock and I have to go to my family, but this award is for her,” Nicole’s statement continued. “She shaped me, she guided me, and she made me. I’m beyond grateful that I get to say her name to all of you through Halina. The collision of art and life is heartbreaking, and my heart is broken.” Nicole has previously spoken about the love and adoration she has for her mother, telling the Sydney Morning Herald in 2020 how grateful she is of her mum's support and sacrifice. “She’s given me the fire to pursue the career I have because I’ve always wanted to please her,” she said. “But she also carved her own path and wanted her daughters to have the same opportunity to carve their own paths." “Mum didn’t necessarily get the career that she wanted, but she was determined that her daughters would have opportunities that were equal. That’s given me my life. And she gave me my life, she and my dad.” Image credits: Allison Voight/Shutterstock Editorial

Caring

"Ding dong, the witch is dead": Daughter's scathing obituary for late mother

A woman has taken her last chance to call out her "terrorising" mother in a damning obituary. Florence “Flo” Harrelson, 65, died back in February, although her notice of death wasn't published until August 29th by her estranged daughter Christina Novak. The delay in the obituary came as a result of Novak not finding out about her mother's death until months after she passed. Novak noted in the obituary that her mother, a former U.S. Marine who served as a Maine prison guard, died “on Feb. 22, 2024, without family by her side due to burnt bridges and a wake of destruction left in her path.” Her daughter confirmed that Flo had been suffering from cancer but ultimately died of heart failure. She went on to say that it had been 10 years since she spoke to her estranged mother. “Florence did not want an obituary or anyone including family to know she died,” reads the obituary. “That’s because even in death, she wanted those she terrorised to still be living in fear looking over their shoulders. So, this isn’t so much an obituary but more of a public service announcement.” She also shared the obit to Facebook, and punctuated it with a line from The Wizard of Oz, writing, “Ding dong, the witch is dead.” Novak told the <a href="https://www.bangordailynews.com/2024/08/30/central-maine/central-maine-culture/maine-wake-of-destruction-obituary/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Bangor Daily News</a> she was “giggling to myself” while composing the obit, admitting she originally set out to write a traditional obituary, but kept drifting into sarcasm. Novak even considered listing the ways in which her mother wronged her relatives, before stopping short but saying the reaction to the obituary was “priceless.” Image credits: Facebook

Family & Pets

"My heart is broken": Mariah Carey reveals sad double tragedy

Mariah Carey has revealed a devastating double tragedy, as both her mother and sister passed away on the same day. In a heartbreaking statement to <a href="https://people.com/mariah-carey-mom-patricia-sister-alison-both-died-same-day-exclusive-8701561" target="_blank" rel="noopener">People</a>, the singer announced the deaths of her mum Patricia, 87, and sister Alison, 63, who died over the weekend. Carey's statement read, "My heart is broken that I've lost my mother this past weekend. Sadly, in a tragic turn of events, my sister lost her life on the same day." "I feel blessed that I was able to spend the last week with my mom before she passed." "I appreciate everyone's love and support and respect for my privacy during this impossible time." No cause of death has been revealed for either member of the family. Carey famously had a turbulent relationship with her mother and sister over the years, and was estranged from Alison for three decades before her untimely death. In 2016, Alison, who was a recovering drug addict, made a plea to her famous sister through the Daily Mail to ask for support, saying, "Mariah I love you, I desperately need your help." As well as substance abuse, Alison endured homelessness throughout her life and tested positive for the HIV virus. Mariah opened up about complicated relationships with her mom and sister in her 2020 memoir, The Meaning Of Mariah Carey. "Like many aspects of my life, my journey with my mother has been full of contradictions and competing realities. It's never been only black-and-white — it's been a whole rainbow of emotions," she explained. She said their relationship was a "prickly rope of pride, pain, shame, gratitude, jealousy, admiration, and disappointment", however the book was still dedicated to Patricia. "And to Pat, my mother, who, through it all, I do believe actually did the best she could," the singer penned in the dedication. "I will love you the best I can, always." Image credits: Paul Archuleta/Shutterstock Editorial

Family & Pets

New mum admits she hates her baby’s name

A woman has asked for advice after admitting that she hates her new baby’s name and “can’t stand to say it out loud”. The new mum took to Reddit to explain that she had given birth to a baby boy a month ago, and had been discussing potential names for her son with her boyfriend since she fell pregnant. The mother explained that her partner “immediately bombarded” her with names “that he would name” their son, and many of them were family monikers. She said that her boyfriend was keen to name the baby after either his grandfather or great-grandfather, whose names were Oliver and Chad. “I HATE the name Chad,” she said. “We know a couple of Chads and they are not great people. I also don’t love the name Oliver but I’d rather that than Chad.” The woman explained her partner was “very sentimental when it comes to anything in his life that has to do with his family”, while she was “not that sentimental”. “He was adamant on the name Chad because it belonged to his dad’s grandpa, whom his dad never met due to him passing away in the war,” she said. “I asked him to compromise and make Chad the middle name ‘cause I’d rather the name Oliver, his response was ‘maybe’ but in a tone that meant ‘no.’” The woman went on to explain that she and her partner reached a stalemate in the name discussion and it wasn’t brought up again until their son was born. The new mother said the couple planned on “waiting until she was relaxed and situated before they signed the birth certificate”, but when she went to sign it, she saw his name had been written as ‘Chad Beau Smith’ by her boyfriend. “I had had no say in the name whatsoever, my partner had seen me bare-down and drugged up, going through the hardest experience of my life and gave me no say in what we name our son,” she said. The woman was shocked and ended up arguing with her husband for about an hour or so but was so exhausted from the birth, she gave up and said “fine you win”. “My boyfriend then smirked as he handed the birth certificate in. I was too tired to fight anymore. I felt like I just needed to focus on taking care of my new baby,” she said. The mum said she has been avoiding saying his name and also hadn’t posted anything to social media because she “just hates the name”. “I also now feel like I am disconnecting from my relationship with my partner because after all he watched me go through, I feel that I don’t matter,” she said. “Am I overreacting?” she asked on Reddit. The woman’s post quickly went viral on the platform, with people quick to side with the new mum. “Your boyfriend is a bully, and he sucks. Names are a two yes, one no situation. He took advantage of you, and kept calling your little boy by his middle name. I’m enraged for you.” said one. “Why are you with this person?” asked another. “Have his name legally changed. Leave your husband. This is abuse,” said a third. “This guy has no respect for you, you’re not overreacting, you’re under-reacting,” added another. Image credits: Shutterstock

Family & Pets

Shannen Doherty's mother breaks silence

Shannen Doherty's mum has shared a touching tribute following the actress' death. The Charmed star <a href="https://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/caring/force-of-nature-tributes-flow-for-shannen-doherty" target="_blank" rel="noopener">passed away</a> on July 13 aged 53 following a nine-year battle with cancer. Shannen's mum, Rosa Doherty, has now thanked her daughter's fans for their support. "She is my beautiful girl and my heart," Rosa told People. "Our family wants to thank everyone who has shown love and support for our Shannen throughout her life. We are truly appreciative." Shannen was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2015 and went into remission two years later. In 2022 she shared that the cancer had returned and spread, and was now stage four. A year later, she told fans that the cancer had spread to her brain. Shannen had a close relationship with her mum, and had previously credited her mum for teaching her how to push through hard times. In a 2023 interview with People, she recalled how her mum pushed through despite her brain aneurysm when Shannen was eight, and how that experience stuck with her. “I come from a woman who was determined,” she told the publication at the time. “She impressed that upon me as a very young child like, 'You don't give up. You just have to work hard at it.' " “I think I was always a fighter,” she added. “I was raised that way to be very strong and that I could do anything that I put my mind to.” The actress carried that attitude despite her battle with cancer, and in an April episode of her podcast Let's Be Clear, she opened up on her desire to keep living. “I’m not done with living. I’m not done with loving. I’m not done with creating. I’m not done with hopefully changing things for the better," she said in the podcast. "I’m just not — I’m not done." Images: Instagram

Family & Pets

“Grief eats you away”: Prince Harry's candid interview about losing his mother

Prince Harry has spoken candidly about his ongoing struggles with grief following the death of his mother, the late Princess Diana, when he was just 12 years old. Upon his brief return to the UK, the Duke of Sussex opened up in a new interview as part of his role as global ambassador for Armed Forces charity Scotty’s Little Soldiers, who work to support children who have lost parents in the military, admitting that “grief eats you away”. Harry detailed how difficult it was losing his mother at such a young age, admitting he spent nearly two decades “not thinking” about her death and was forced to eventually get help after years of “total chaos”. He added that learning how to celebrate a late loved one is difficult for a child, as it made them “sad”. “But realising if I do talk about it, and I’m celebrating their life, then things become easier,” he said. Harry went on, “You convince yourself that the person you’ve lost wants you, or you need to be sad for as long as possible to prove to them that they are missed … Especially when every defence mechanism in your mind, nervous system and everything else is saying ‘do not go there.” <iframe title="YouTube video player" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/YY-W6VEXlZM?si=SBQyGGCKAOhELxlv" width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe> "But then there’s this realisation of, no, they must want me to be happy”. The 39-year-old royal shared how, after decades of silent mourning, he learned suppressing grief was “in fact not” the best form of coping with loss. “It can be for a period of time,” he went on to say. “But…if you suppress this for too long, you can’t suppress it forever it’s not sustainable and it will east away at you inside." “Once realising that if I do talk about it and I’m celebrating their life then actually things become easier.” Image credits: YouTube

Caring

"Felt like a criminal": Mother and disabled son "kicked out" of Pink concert

A distraught mother has taken to social media to recall the moment her and her seven-year-old son, who has Down syndrome, were asked to leave a concert venue. Vanessa Vasey, 48, spent over $1,000 to take her son Jesse to see Pink in London during her UK stadium tour, but when the pair arrived at the venue, things took a turn. Jesse struggled to stay still in his seat and was soon surrounded by "six security guards" who ordered the disabled boy to sit down, otherwise they would have to leave. She said she tried to explain her son’s condition to the guards but they ended up being “escorted from the premises” just as Pink took to the stage. On Facebook, Vasey wrote in detail about what happened, saying her son had been “robbed” of a special experience. “Music is his life and Pink is one of his absolute favourites,” she wrote. “We successfully saw her perform at BST Hyde Park last year and were thrilled to learn of her return again this year.” Vasey said she purchased more expensive “hospitality tickets” allowing people to move between bars and food outlets during the night “so that Jesse wouldn’t be pressured into remaining in one seat all night, as he gets overwhelmed in busy environments and finds it hard to sit still.” “We spent some time in the bar leading up to the main act, and Jesse was having a wonderful time, until about 45 minutes before Pink was due to come on, they suddenly shut all the blinds, obstructing us from seeing anything,” she wrote. “I tried to consult with the hospitality managers over this, and explained Jesse’s needs, but they wouldn’t budge on it. So not wanting Jesse to stare at a blind all night, we attempted to go into the seating zone." “We couldn’t get him to sit in his seat, but he was happy dancing and singing at the front railings, and even interacting with some of the other guests." “Doing no harm to anyone, or obstructing anyone’s view. This seemed OK for about half an hour or so. Then ... just as Pink dropped from the sky in her opening number, we had six security guards come into the zone and ask us to leave or sit in our seats.” Vasey said the security guards were “abrupt, intimidating and unpleasant”, as they "tried to force us to take Jesse to a sensory room which was soundproof, and watch Pink on a screen.” <div> </div> “Something we could do at home, robbing us of the whole experience, as if my son was some sort of inconvenience, and better off shut in a room out of sight.” When Vasey complained to venue staff, she claims that more security guards appeared and they had no choice but to leave. “We were escorted out of the building like criminals and saw no more of the Pink show. Jesse was utterly devastated, and they showed absolutely zero care or understanding." “Shame on you Tottenham Stadium,” she concluded. “My poor boy deserved so much better than this!” After UK media picked up Vasey's story, Tottenham Stadium released a statement explaining their actions. “Following further investigation, we can confirm that Ms Vasey was offered assistance by our Safeguarding and Welfare teams throughout the night to provide Jesse with a comfortable viewing experience, including access to our dedicated Sensory Room,” the statement read. “The offers of assistance were declined by Ms Vasey and the party chose to leave the event.” Vasey was soon set upon by online trolls who condemned her choice to take Jesse to the concert in the first place, to which she issues a lengthy statement about inclusivity and not singling people out for their disabilities. “Why do we take them [to events]? Because, as parents, we have the same dreams and aspirations for our children as any other parent,” she wrote. “We have the same desires to see our children’s faces light up, as any other parent would. Our children are exposed to the same world as other children, and they enjoy the same things." “They have the same likes and desires. The only thing that’s different is their needs, their abilities and their way of accessing their dreams." “Why should these things deny them of fulfilling these dreams and passions? This is meant to be a world of inclusion. So let’s start including!" “That means adapting, understanding, supporting and most importantly; changing the way we deliver these privileges so that they are privileges for all of us, and not just some of us.” Image credits: Facebook/Richard Isaac/Shutterstock Editorial

Caring

Condolence messages that will help you find the right words

<h2>Condolence messages for every situation</h2> When someone you care about has lost someone they care about, it’s important to reach out and show your love. “We’re hard-wired as human beings to connect with others, especially when we’re grieving,” says Abigail Nathanson, a licensed social worker and professor of grief and trauma at New York University. “Being able to talk about the pain and loss and receive support from others is an essential part of the grieving process.” While you may eventually engage in longer discussions, condolence messages are the first step after any loss. These messages of sympathy are a simple and beautiful way to connect with a grieving loved one. But even though death and grief are universal experiences, it can be hard to find the right things to say to someone who is grieving or know what to write in a condolence card—probably because there aren’t any words that can take away their pain. But it’s proper etiquette to say something rather than to stay silent. Otherwise, the person who’s grieving might think you don’t care. <h2>What can you say to comfort someone who’s lost a loved one?</h2> “Just like there is no one ‘right’ way to grieve, there is no one script for what to say to someone who has experienced a great loss,” Nathanson says. “However we do know that there are some things that many people find comforting and supportive.” When thinking of what to say when someone dies, Nathanson offers these tips: <ul> <li>Lead with sympathy or empathy.</li> <li>Offer to listen (and then listen without interrupting).</li> <li>Don’t offer banal platitudes, like: “Everything will turn out for the best.”</li> <li>Don’t tell them how to feel, like: “Your father wouldn’t want you to be sad.”</li> <li>Reinforce your love and support for them.</li> <li>Offer to help in meaningful ways.</li> <li>Don’t offer advice unless they ask for it.</li> </ul> <h2>How to write a condolence message</h2> “Remember that the goal of a condolence message is not to talk the person out of being sad or to ‘cure’ their grief,” Nathanson says. “It’s to offer love and support during a trying time.” Expressing condolences in person is incredibly powerful, but if you can’t be there with them, sending a condolence message is the next best thing. In this digital age, you have lots of options. <ul> <li>Video messages offer the added bonus of face-to-face connection.</li> <li>Condolence text messages are an immediate way to reach out.</li> <li>Email is a great way to share longer thoughts, including pictures or memories of the loved one. They can also be read at the person’s leisure.</li> <li>Handwritten notes show extra care and are often sentimental keepsakes.</li> <li>Comments on social media show public support and allow you to interact with others who may be grieving the loss as well.</li> </ul> Regardless of which method you choose to convey your love and support, keep your message relatively short. Grief can induce brain fog, making it difficult to concentrate on long messages, Nathanson says. And send your message as soon as you can (but better late than never!), and consider attaching it to one of these beautiful sympathy gifts. <h2>Short condolence messages</h2> To help you find the right words, here’s a list of heartfelt short condolence messages messages. Your kind words will be appreciated more than you know. <ol> <li>I’m so sorry for your loss.</li> <li>My heart breaks for you.</li> <li>This hurts, and it sucks!</li> <li>You are in my prayers.</li> <li>My heart is with you at this time.</li> <li>I love you, and I’m here for you.</li> <li>I’m so sorry you are hurting.</li> <li>Sending love and peace.</li> <li>You are in my thoughts.</li> <li>May you find comfort at this time.</li> <li>Blessings for you and your loved ones.</li> <li>I’m with you during this difficult time.</li> <li>I hope you can feel my love.</li> <li>Love and support for you and yours.</li> <li>I wish I could give you the biggest hug.</li> <li>Sending you peaceful and loving vibes.</li> <li>Praying you feel comforted.</li> <li>You can cry on my shoulder.</li> <li>I’m devastated for you.</li> <li>My heart goes out to you at this difficult time.</li> </ol> Image credits: Shutterstock This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/true-stories-lifestyle/inspirational/condolence-messages-that-will-help-you-find-the-right-words" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>.

Caring

Mother of the groom slammed for unacceptable wedding outfit

A mother of the groom has been slammed online for wearing a white dress to her son’s wedding: committing a major wedding faux pas. The family photo, which has gone viral, shows the mother wearing “a dress even whiter than the bride’s”, complete with a sheet cape train, a cream hat and corsage. The mum's behaviour was criticised by thousands in a wedding-shaming Facebook group, while others defended the woman, saying she may have had permission for the look beforehand. “Really makes you wonder what in god's name happened with all these mothers-in-law to make them act like their son's wedding is her own wedding,” one person commented. Many claimed the older woman's dress was a clear attempt to upstage the bride, with many saying her outfit was simply unacceptable. “Makes me vomit when I see mothers like this,” a woman said. A second person added, “The cape, the gown, the fascinator... oh, my god. It would have been over the top, but fine if in any other colour. I hope to be as patient as this bride one day.” “I cannot imagine doing this to any woman who decides to marry my son. Like, hon, I of all people know how difficult he can be to live with, may the old gods and the new bless you for your sacrifice,” another joked. “I'm 99 percent sure this wasn't bride-approved as it's white and the bride's dress is ever so slightly off-white. And the bride looks perfect!” a fourth added. A few even claimed someone should have “accidentally” spilled a glass of red wine on the mother's dress. “No way she should have made it to the pictures without someone spilling [wine]. That poor girl,” a woman said. Image credits: Facebook

Beauty & Style

Don’t give mum chocolates for Mother’s Day. Take on more housework, share the mental load and advocate for equality instead

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/leah-ruppanner-106371">Leah Ruppanner</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> With Mother’s Day right around the corner, many grateful and loving families are thinking about what to give mum to show their appreciation. Should you give her chocolate? Nope. Fancy soaps? Nope. Fuzzy slippers, pyjamas, scented candles? No, no and no. On this Mother’s Day, keep your cash and give your wonderful mother gifts that will actually have a long-term impact on her health and well-being. <h2>1. Do a chore that mum hates and hold onto it … forever</h2> Research <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13545701.2020.1831039">shows</a> men have increased the amount of time spent on housework and childcare and that mothers, over time, are doing less (hooray!). But, women <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2008.00479.x">still do more housework</a> than men, especially when <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/gwao.12497?fbclid=IwAR2dp04p2sFqbDqdehXmXgDSfTYwX3GRzP7ScMJhSOrMePTGQVErR2TTX88">kids are in the home</a>. Further, <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0891243205285212">men tend to pick up the more desirable tasks</a>, like <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/3598304">cooking and playing with the kids</a>, leaving mothers to do the less pleasurable chores (think cleaning toilets and clearing out fridges). The chore divide in same-sex relationships is generally found to be more equal, but some critique suggests equality may suffer <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/16/upshot/same-sex-couples-divide-chores-much-more-evenly-until-they-become-parents.html">once kids are involved</a>. This year give your mum (or mums) the gift of equal housework and childcare sharing – start by taking the most-hated tasks and then hold onto them… forever. <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/gwao.12727">Research</a> shows housework inequality is bad for women’s mental health. Undervaluing women’s housework and unequal sharing of the chores deteriorates <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11199-022-01282-5">relationship quality</a>, and <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0038038516674664">leads to divorce</a>. Housework and childcare take up valuable time to keep the family happy, harmonious and thriving, often at the expense of mum’s health and well-being. So, skip the chocolates and show mum love by doing the worst, most drudgerous and constant household chores (hello, cleaning mouldy showers!) and keep doing these… forever. <h2>2. Initiate a mental unload</h2> The <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/health/2017-09-14/the-mental-load-and-what-to-do-about-it/8942032">mental load</a> is all of the planning, organising and management work necessary to keep the family running. The mental load is often perceived as list making or allocating tasks to family members. But, it’s so much more – it is the <a href="https://theconversation.com/planning-stress-and-worry-put-the-mental-load-on-mothers-will-2022-be-the-year-they-share-the-burden-172599">emotional work</a> that goes with this thinking work. The mental load is the worry work that never ends and can be done <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13668803.2021.2002813">anywhere, anytime and with anyone</a> (in, for example, said mouldy shower). Because the mental load is performed inside our heads, it is invisible. That means we don’t know when we or others are performing this labour unless we really tune in. In fact, it is often when we tune in through quiet time, relaxation or meditation that the mental load rears its ugly head. Suddenly you remind yourself to buy oranges for the weekend soccer game, organise a family movie night and don’t forget to check in on nanna. Women in heterosexual relationships are <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0003122419859007">shown to do more</a> of the mental load with serious consequences for their mental health. But we don’t have a comprehensive measurement of how much women do it nor how it is allocated in same-sex couples. So, on this mothers’ day spend some time talking about, cataloguing, and equalising the family’s mental load. This isn’t just making a list about what has to be done but also understanding <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/health/2017-09-14/the-mental-load-and-what-to-do-about-it/8942032">how the mental load</a> connects to the emotional health of the family, and the person carrying this <a href="https://www.newamerica.org/better-life-lab/blog/making-the-mental-load-visible/">invisible labour, worry and stress</a>. <h2>3. Speak up for your mum and all caregivers</h2> Families alone cannot bear the brunt of the caregiving necessary to keep us thriving. Governments, workplaces and local communities also play a critical role. For this mothers’ day, pick an issue impacting mothers (for example, equal pay, affordable childcare or paid family leave) and do one thing to help move the needle. Write a letter to your boss, your local MP, or donate money to an advocacy organisation advancing gender equality. Or, role model these behaviours yourself – normalise caregiving as a critical piece of being an effective worker, create policies and practices that support junior staff to care for themselves, their families and their communities and use these policies. <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0891243216649946">Research</a> shows men want to be equal carers and sharers but often fear what taking time off for caregiving will signal to their employer despite evidence that fathers who request flexible work are perceived more <a href="https://academic.oup.com/sf/article-abstract/94/4/1567/2461609?login=false">favourably</a>. Appearing to be singularly devoted to work was shown to be impossible during the pandemic with kids, spouses, partners, and pets home all day long. Learning to create more care-inclusive workplaces and communities is critical. Paid parental leave, affordable and accessible high-quality childcare, flexibility in how, when and where we work and greater investments in paid sick leave, long-term disability support and aged care are just a few policies that would strengthen the care safety net. We will all be called upon to care at some point in our lives – let’s create the environments that support caregiving for all, not just mum.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/182330/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/leah-ruppanner-106371">Leah Ruppanner</a>, Professor of Sociology and Founding Director of The Future of Work Lab, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/dont-give-mum-chocolates-for-mothers-day-take-on-more-housework-share-the-mental-load-and-advocate-for-equality-instead-182330">original article</a>.

Family & Pets

Woman baffled by mother-in-law’s insane ask over baby name

A woman has gone head-to-head with her mother-in-law over the name she has chosen for her unborn child. The pregnant woman took to Reddit to share her unusual predicament, explaining how her mother-in-law has demanded she change the name of her baby. The soon-to-be mum shared how she recently had dinner with her husband’s family, where she decided to reveal the baby’s gender and name. She had been keeping the information secret, but with only a few weeks of her pregnancy left, she decided to share the happy news that she was having a baby boy and had chosen the name Shawn for her son. But not everyone shared her happiness over the moniker, as her mother-in-law went pale with shock and demanded she choose a new name. “My in-laws got quiet for a moment before asking if there were other options we'd considered. Apparently, Shawn is the name of my 17-year-old sister-in-law Ashley's former bully who tormented her [for years],” the pregnant woman explained on Reddit. While she empathised with her in-laws, she didn’t want to change the name as it was the only one her and her husband agreed on for their son. She also explained that she hadn’t known about the family connection when they picked the name, and hadn’t picked it out of any malicious intent. “We took forever to pick a name,” she said. “Shawn is the only one we could agree on.” The dinner party soon ended after the argument began, but the mother-in-law didn’t back down, sending the expecting mum demanding messages. “She texted me and my husband again to ask us to find a new name for Ashley's sake.” “Would I be the a**hole for not wanting to change it? We were only able to agree on it a few weeks ago.” Commenters were torn over the subject, with many rushing to the pregnant woman’s defence, saying she can pick whatever name she wants for her son. “My spouse and sibling have the same name. Somehow, you just compartmentalise it,” one shared. “I feel like if a new baby in my family shared a name with my bully I'd just adapt,” another wrote. “After all, Shawn is a VERY common name, so I can't freak out every time I hear it and survive in this world.” However, a select few sided with the mother-in-law, sharing how stunned they were that the couple couldn't find enough compassion to pick another name. One person said, “I understand the difficulty of finding a name that feels right, but for me, after learning this, Shawn would quickly become another name that didn't work. It's only been decided on it for a few weeks so I'd just go back to the drawing board.” Image credits: Shutterstock

Family & Pets

Give the gift of sustainable luxury this Mother’s Day

With Mother’s Day around the corner, it’s time to celebrate the most important women in our lives with affordable luxury that doesn’t cost the earth. To spoil the mums in your life this year, discover the ideal gift to honour and celebrate your most treasured moments together with L’Occitane’s limited edition Mother’s Day collections. You can feel good about gifting these organic and sustainably sourced products to your loved ones, as L’Occitane have created these little luxuries while respecting and caring for everything the ground grows for us and beyond. By sourcing fair-trade and organic shea butter from women’s collectives in Burkina Faso and recently in Ghana, L’Occitane are dedicated to helping the local ecosystem and supporting the community. The L’Occitane group celebrates the official B Corp certification, demonstrating that as a business, they’re not just about beauty; they believe in Cultivating Change to create a fairer, more equitable and regenerative planet. This Mother’s Day, L’Occitane has something for everyone, with gift packs available for every budget, ranging from just $34 to the ultimate gift set priced at $280. From hand creams, body lotions and washes, to fragrances and luxury skin care, these limited edition gifting packs have exactly what you need to give the gift of indulgence this Mother’s Day. L’Occitane presents a superb range that embodies the essence of gratitude, showing appreciation through thoughtfully selected gifts that not only pamper, but also reflect a commitment to sustainable practices. It’s more than a gift; it’s a gesture that acknowledges the importance of those who have shaped our lives. L’Occitane’s Mother’s Day collection is available now both <a href="https://au.loccitane.com/mothers-day.html">online</a> and in-store. Image credits: Supplied / Getty Images

Beauty & Style

Daughter's incredible gesture surprises her cancer-stricken mother

A brave mother fighting cancer has burst into tears at her daughter's amazing display of solidarity, as her mum continues to battle through chemotherapy. Tracy Mulcahy has been fighting a devastating diagnosis of stage four high-grade ovarian cancer and had started to lose her hair after relentless chemo treatment. Tracy and her daughter Sophie headed to their local hairdressers, where they have become like family after seven years, where Sophie was given the task of shaving her mum's head. To everyone's surprise, Sophie was handed the razor and decided to shave off her own long blonde hair in an emotional display of solitary and strength. Both women burst into tears and held one another, while there was not a dry eye in the salon from other clients and hairdressers. <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C4h63b2rZYX/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C4h63b2rZYX/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by ⚡️SOUTH WEST BLONDE SPECIALIST ⚡️ (@bambiblonde__)</a> </div> </blockquote> The heartwarming moment was captured by the Bambi Blonde salon and posted to their Instagram, where the post racked up hundreds of thousands of likes and comments of support from all over the world. "The whole salon was in tears," owner Claire Lovett said. Sophie has since revealed she decided to do it because she didn't want her mother to "go through this alone". "She means the absolute world to me. She's done everything she could to help me with any issues I've had in the past," Sophie told the Hit WA radio station. Tracy said her daughter's decision was "just insane", saying, "I saw her do it, and I'm like, no, please don't, please don't do this. I don't want you to go through what I'm going through." "I think when I sat down in that hairdresser's chair and prepared myself for the day, but when you actually sit in that chair and normally go to the hairdressers, it's obviously a positive experience." "And then to have to look in and see that there wasn't a lot of hair left at that point. And to see Sophie do that and sacrifice her own hair for me, it was just insane." The family have set up a <a href="https://www.gofundme.com/f/tracys-battle-stage-4-high-grade-ovarian-cancer?utm_campaign=p_cp+fundraiser-sidebar&utm_medium=copy_link_all&utm_source=customer" target="_blank" rel="noopener">GoFundMe</a> page to help with the costs of Tracy's treatment. Image credits: Instagram / GoFundMe

Caring

"I almost cried": Mum shocked by stranger's random act of kindness

A mother-of-two has almost been reduced to tears by a stranger's random act of kindness in a busy cafe. The mum, a woman named Tyne, was at a cafe in the Sunshine Coast suburb of Mooloolaba with her husband and two young sons, when she struck up a conversation with a woman reading a book nearby. She said she felt a wave of guilt that her rowdy children were disrupting the woman's peaceful morning, and leaned over to apologise. The woman assured the mother there was nothing to apologise for, with the woman's next act leaving the mum speechless. “A beautiful (and full on) weekend away with Mr 3.5y & Mr 1.5y my husband and I sat with coffees at a beautiful cafe waiting for breakfast for us,” Tyne wrote in a Facebook group called The Kindness Pandemic, where people share stories of their heartwarming interactions with strangers. “I immediately apologised to the lovely lady sitting near us as she had a book and I was afraid the boys wouldn’t be too peaceful." “We were chatting for a little and then she left after her breakfast.” When the mum went to pay for her family’s bill, the cashier informed her that the stranger had “taken care of it” and handed her a heartwarming note. “It was such a pleasure sharing my brekkie space with you,” the note read. “Please keep doing what you’re doing. You’ve got a beautiful family.” Tyne said she “almost cried” when she realised that the stranger had paid for her family’s entire breakfast. The cafe was situated close to one of the Sunshine Coast’s most popular attractions, Sea Life Aquarium, where the family had planned to spend their day. “Hopefully you can splurge a little more at Sea Life today,” the stranger added in the note, before signing off, “Love Em.” The mum said she was overwhelmed by the stranger’s incredible act of kindness, saying she "almost cried". “She paid for us … And her kind words were what I needed to hear.” Tyne said the stranger was an “amazing soul” and vowed to pay it forward”. “If you are Em staying in Mooloolaba for work and went to a quirky local that’s your favourite … YOU ARE AN AMAZING SOUL!” she said. People in the comments also shared their reactions to the heartfelt gesture. “Lovely lady. Your children would be being just that, children. Don’t apologise about them,” one wrote. “What a beautiful person Em clearly is. This was so gorgeous to read.” Image credits: Facebook

Family & Pets

Mothers’ dieting habits and self-talk have profound impact on daughters − 2 psychologists explain how to cultivate healthy behaviors and body image

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/janet-j-boseovski-451496">Janet J. Boseovski</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ashleigh-gallagher-1505989">Ashleigh Gallagher</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a> Weight loss is one of the most common health and appearance-related goals. Women and <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db340.htm">teen girls</a> are <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db313.htm">especially likely to pursue dieting</a> to achieve weight loss goals even though a great deal of research shows that <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-thin-people-dont-understand-about-dieting-86604">dieting doesn’t work over the long term</a>. We are a <a href="https://www.duck-lab.com/people">developmental psychologist</a> and a <a href="https://psy.uncg.edu/directory/ashleigh-gallagher/">social psychologist</a> who together wrote a forthcoming book, “Beyond Body Positive: A Mother’s Evidence-Based Guide for Helping Girls Build a Healthy Body Image.” In the book, we address topics such as the effects of maternal dieting behaviors on daughters’ health and well-being. We provide information on how to build a foundation for healthy body image beginning in girlhood. <h2>Culturally defined body ideals</h2> Given the strong influence of social media and other cultural influences on body ideals, it’s understandable that so many people pursue diets aimed at weight loss. <a href="https://communityhealth.mayoclinic.org/featured-stories/tiktok-diets">TikTok</a>, YouTube, Instagram and celebrity websites feature slim influencers and “how-tos” for achieving those same results in no time. For example, women and teens are engaging in rigid and extreme forms of exercise such as 54D, a program to <a href="https://54d.com/">achieve body transformation in 54 days</a>, or the <a href="https://health.clevelandclinic.org/75-hard-challenge-and-rules">75 Hard Challenge</a>, which is to follow five strict rules for 75 days. For teens, these pursuits are likely fueled by trendy body preoccupations such as the desire for “<a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/06/well/move/tiktok-legging-legs-eating-disorders.html">legging legs</a>.” Women and teens have also been been inundated with recent messaging around <a href="https://theconversation.com/drugs-that-melt-away-pounds-still-present-more-questions-than-answers-but-ozempic-wegovy-and-mounjaro-could-be-key-tools-in-reducing-the-obesity-epidemic-205549">quick-fix weight loss drugs</a>, which come with a lot of caveats. Dieting and weight loss goals are highly individual, and when people are intensely self-focused, it is <a href="https://doi.org/10.1521/jscp.2000.19.1.70">possible to lose sight of the bigger picture</a>. Although women might wonder what the harm is in trying the latest diet, science shows that dieting behavior doesn’t just affect the dieter. In particular, for women who are mothers or who have other girls in their lives, these behaviors affect girls’ emerging body image and their health and well-being. <h2>The profound effect of maternal role models</h2> Research shows that mothers and maternal figures <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2017.11.001">have a profound influence on their daughters’ body image</a>. The opportunity to influence girls’ body image comes far earlier than adolescence. In fact, research shows that these influences on body image <a href="https://www.teenvogue.com/story/how-toxic-diet-culture-is-passed-from-moms-to-daughters">begin very early in life</a> – <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/bs.acdb.2016.10.006">during the preschool years</a>. Mothers may feel that they are being discreet about their dieting behavior, but little girls are watching and listening, and they are far more observant of us than many might think. For example, one study revealed that compared with daughters of nondieting women, 5-year-old girls whose mothers dieted <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/S0002-8223(00)00339-4">were aware of the connection between dieting and thinness</a>. Mothers’ eating behavior does not just affect girls’ ideas about dieting, but also their daughters’ eating behavior. The amount of food that mothers eat <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appet.2018.04.018">predicts how much their daughters will eat</a>. In addition, daughters whose mothers are dieters are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appet.2018.04.018">more likely to become dieters themselves</a> and are also <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.eatbeh.2007.03.001">more likely to have a negative body image</a>. Negative body image is <a href="https://theconversation.com/mounting-research-documents-the-harmful-effects-of-social-media-use-on-mental-health-including-body-image-and-development-of-eating-disorders-206170">not a trivial matter</a>. It affects girls’ and women’s mental and physical well-being in a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1359105317710815">host of ways</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2011.06.009">can predict the emergence of eating disorders</a>. <h2>Avoiding ‘fat talk’</h2> What can moms do, then, to serve their daughters’ and their own health? They can focus on small steps. And although it is best to begin these efforts early in life – in girlhood – it is never too late to do so. For example, mothers can consider how they think about and talk about themselves around their daughters. Engaging in “fat talk” may inadvertently send their daughters the message that larger bodies are bad, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2020.07.004">contributing to weight bias</a> and negative self-image. Mothers’ fat talk also <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15267431.2021.1908294">predicts later body dissatisfaction in daughters</a>. And negative self-talk isn’t good for mothers, either; it is associated with <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1359105318781943">lower motivation and unhealthful eating</a>. Mothers can instead practice and model self-compassion, which involves treating oneself the way <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2016.03.003">a loving friend might treat you</a>. In discussions about food and eating behavior, it is important to avoid moralizing certain kinds of food by labeling them as “good” or “bad,” as girls may extend these labels to their personal worth. For example, a young girl may feel that she is being “bad” if she eats dessert, if that is what she has learned from observing the women around her. In contrast, she may feel that she has to eat a salad to be “good.” Moms and other female role models can make sure that the dinner plate sends a healthy message to their daughters by showing instead that all foods can fit into a balanced diet when the time is right. Intuitive eating, which emphasizes paying attention to hunger and satiety and allows flexibility in eating behavior, is associated with <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s40519-020-00852-4">better physical and mental health in adolescence</a>. Another way that women and especially moms can buffer girls’ body image is by helping their daughters <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2021.12.009">to develop media literacy</a> and to think critically about the nature and purpose of media. For example, moms can discuss the misrepresentation and distortion of bodies, such as the use of filters to enhance physical appearance, on social media. <h2>Focusing on healthful behaviors</h2> One way to begin to focus on health behaviors rather than dieting behaviors is to develop respect for the body and to <a href="https://theconversation.com/body-neutrality-what-it-is-and-how-it-can-help-lead-to-more-positive-body-image-191799">consider body neutrality</a>. In other words, prize body function rather than appearance and spend less time thinking about your body’s appearance. Accept that there are times when you may not feel great about your body, and that this is OK. To feel and look their best, mothers can aim to stick to a <a href="https://theconversation.com/whats-the-best-diet-for-healthy-sleep-a-nutritional-epidemiologist-explains-what-food-choices-will-help-you-get-more-restful-zs-219955">healthy sleep schedule</a>, manage their stress levels, <a href="https://theconversation.com/fiber-is-your-bodys-natural-guide-to-weight-management-rather-than-cutting-carbs-out-of-your-diet-eat-them-in-their-original-fiber-packaging-instead-205159">eat a varied diet</a> that includes all of the foods that they enjoy, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-runners-high-may-result-from-molecules-called-cannabinoids-the-bodys-own-version-of-thc-and-cbd-170796">move and exercise their bodies regularly</a> as lifelong practices, rather than engaging in quick-fix trends. Although many of these tips sound familiar, and perhaps even simple, they become effective when we recognize their importance and begin acting on them. Mothers can work toward modeling these behaviors and tailor each of them to their daughter’s developmental level. It’s never too early to start. <h2>Promoting healthy body image</h2> Science shows that several personal characteristics are associated with body image concerns among women. For example, research shows that women who are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2020.02.001">higher in neuroticism</a> <a href="https://doi.org/10.1186/2050-2974-1-2">and perfectionism</a>, <a href="https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.983534">lower in self-compassion</a> or <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2013.08.001">lower in self-efficacy</a> are all more likely to struggle with negative body image. Personality is frequently defined as a person’s characteristic pattern of thoughts, feelings and behaviors. But if they wish, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/per.1945">mothers can change personality characteristics</a> that they feel aren’t serving them well. For example, perfectionist tendencies – such as setting unrealistic, inflexible goals – can be examined, challenged and replaced with more rational thoughts and behaviors. A woman who believes she must work out every day can practice being more flexible in her thinking. One who thinks of dessert as “cheating” can practice resisting moral judgments about food. Changing habitual ways of thinking, feeling and behaving certainly takes effort and time, but it is far more likely than diet trends to bring about sustainable, long-term change. And taking the first steps to modify even a few of these habits can positively affect daughters. In spite of all the noise from media and other cultural influences, mothers can feel empowered knowing that they have a significant influence on their daughters’ feelings about, and treatment of, their bodies. In this way, mothers’ modeling of healthier attitudes and behaviors is a sound investment – for both their own body image and that of the girls they love.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/221968/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/janet-j-boseovski-451496">Janet J. Boseovski</a>, Professor of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ashleigh-gallagher-1505989">Ashleigh Gallagher</a>, Senior Lecturer, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/mothers-dieting-habits-and-self-talk-have-profound-impact-on-daughters-2-psychologists-explain-how-to-cultivate-healthy-behaviors-and-body-image-221968">original article</a>.

Mind

Mother bans in-laws from seeing her baby after they go against her wishes

A woman has banned her in-laws from seeing her newborn daughter after they “betrayed her trust” and directly went against her wishes. The new mum shared the story to Reddit, as she explained why she was cutting contact with her husband’s parents after they pierced her child’s ears without their knowledge or consent. “My husband is from a culture where it's not uncommon to pierce baby girls' ears and his mother started pestering me about getting my daughter's ears pierced a few days after she was born,” the 32-year-old mum began. “I made it clear that I would not be doing that, and that I'd be waiting until she's old enough to ask for it herself. We live in my country where piercing a baby's ears isn't common at all.” The new mum's world soon came crashing down after the baby spent a weekend with her grandparents, before she went back to her parents red in the face and screaming. “My mother-in-law was looking after her over the weekend and decided to pierce her ears without my knowledge or consent.” “When I saw this I threw a fit. My baby was crying in pain, and I actually took her to the doctor to get their advice on whether or not to take them out.” The doctor advised the parent to take the earrings out as they were irritating the baby, but the issue didn’t end there. “I decided at that moment that my mother-in-law and everyone else on that side of the family (except for my sister-in-law, who's on my side about this) is going to have no alone contact with my daughter ever again - or at least until she's a teenager.” “My worry is that she'll do the same thing again, and to be frank, she's lost my trust entirely. I told her that if she had a problem with that, I'd report what she did to the police.” The husband of the baby girl reluctantly sided with his wife over the issue, despite saying it wasn’t a big deal and suggesting everyone move on from the incident. The story prompted a mixed response online, with some people saying the woman was overreacting and should work towards rebuilding trust with her in-laws. Others, however, had the opposite opinion, with one person saying, “Forget rebuilding trust, I'd be having them charged with assault.” Another person said, “They mutilated a child and they knew it was against the parents wishes. These people have serious problems. Not that I'd press charges, but getting holes poked in someone else's kid is a huge thing.” Image credits: Getty Images

Family & Pets

Bruce Springsteen shares devastating family news

Bruce Springsteen has shared the heartbreaking news that his mother has passed away. The 74-year-old rockstar posted a tribute to his mother Adele, announcing that she died on January 31st at the age of 98. Springsteen wrote a lengthy caption on Instagram, alongside a video of him and his late mum dancing to swing music. “Adele Springsteen — May 4, 1925-January 31, 2024,” he began. “I remember in the morning mum hearing your alarm clock ring. I’d lie in bed and listen to you getting ready for work, the sound of your makeup case on the sink." <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C20aKzMIGVW/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C20aKzMIGVW/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Bruce Springsteen (@springsteen)</a> </div> </blockquote> “And the ladies at the office all lipstick, perfume and rustling skirts, how proud and happy you always looked walking home from work." “It ain’t no house on the hill with a garden and a nice little yard. I’ve got my hot rod down on Bond Street I’m older but you’ll know me in a glance." “We’ll find us a little rock ‘n roll bar and we’ll go out and dance. Bruce Springsteen, The Wish.” Fans were quick to flock to the comments section to share their condolences and sympathies with the singer. One person wrote, “Oh I’m so sorry to hear that. You dancing on stage with your mom in London back in 2013 was a moment of pure joy. She was proud of you, you were proud of her and we ALL revelled in the love and affection.” Another added, “Our condolences Bruce and whole family. Sad news. We will remember the great moments seeing Bruce dancing with Adele in the concerts." Image credits: Getty Images

Caring

Diary worth over $50,000 found in mother's attic

The world of diaries often holds a realm of personal musings and daily chronicles, but for one fortunate woman, a hidden treasure in her mother's attic turned out to be far more valuable than she ever imagined. In a captivating episode of Antiques Roadshow, an unsuspecting woman sought the expertise of the renowned Richard Price, presenting him with a diary that held not just sentimental value but an astonishing historical significance. With a sense of anticipation in her voice, she began, "We believe that it is the transcript of the diary written by one of the Shackleton expedition crew members aboard the Endurance." This remarkable artefact had been handed down to her father 45 years earlier and had subsequently resided in her mother's attic, concealed beneath layers of dust beside an old television set. The Shackleton expedition, set against the stark backdrop of Antarctica, unfolded in the year 1915. The woman eloquently narrated the captivating tale, "That was the famous expedition that got stuck in the ice, and the crew members survived on the ice for a number of months. Then they made a journey in the lifeboats to Elephant Island, and Shackleton, along with five others, embarked on a perilous voyage to South Georgia as a rescue party. "They managed to secure a ship to retrieve the remaining men stranded on the ice. Astonishingly, every member of the expedition survived, a testament to their incredible resilience." This remarkable diary bore witness to the harrowing journey and contained invaluable insights into the crew's survival tactics, including details of their sustenance during their ordeal. Price, the seasoned expert, meticulously examined the diary's condition. While a few pages had become detached from the spine, the document was, for the most part, remarkably well-preserved. However, one crucial mystery lingered – the identity of the diary's author remained elusive. Recognising the importance of this missing puzzle piece, Price urged the woman to seek out an expert capable of uncovering the writer's identity, emphasising that this revelation could significantly enhance the diary's value. As the moment arrived for the much-anticipated valuation, Richard declared, "I'm just going to say off the top of my head, £30,000 (over $50,000)." The room fell into a collective state of shock, with audible gasps emanating from the captivated audience. The guest herself was visibly taken aback by the astronomical figure. Despite the woman's earnest efforts to safeguard this extraordinary document over the years, Price issued a stern warning, "I don't want it back under your bed or wherever it was before. You must go to Cambridge to let the real experts work on it." In the end, this unassuming diary, tucked away for decades in an attic, not only unveiled an epic Antarctic adventure but also carried an unexpected fortune, proving that sometimes, the most extraordinary treasures are hidden in the most unlikely places. Images: Antiques Roadshow / 9Now

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Diary worth over $50,000 found in mother's attic