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Woman horrified after man brings his mother to first date

<p dir="ltr">A woman has been left stunned after her crush invited his mother to infiltrate their first date. </p> <p dir="ltr">The young woman took to Reddit to recall the mortifying moment, and to ask users if she was out of line by leaving the awkward date. </p> <p dir="ltr">The 23-year-old began the story by explaining how she matched with a 25-year-old man, who she referred to as Jake, on the dating app Hinge. </p> <p dir="ltr">She explained that the couple had been “chatting for a few weeks, and he seemed like a solid guy — funny, good taste in music, and even remembered I loved Italian food.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“He planned the date at this nice little spot in Dallas, which I thought was sweet,” she added. </p> <p dir="ltr">She continued, “I show up, and everything's fine at first. He's already there, we hug, and he even complimented my outfit.” </p> <p dir="ltr">“But like five minutes after I sit down, this older woman walks in. Jake stands up, waves her over, and says, ‘This is my mom!’ 'I thought I misheard him for a second.”</p> <p dir="ltr">After he introduced his mother to his date, she pulled up a chair and began asking the 23-year-old a slew of invasive questions. </p> <p dir="ltr">“She sits down at the table, all casual, and starts introducing herself to me like this is normal. Meanwhile, I'm sitting there, trying to figure out if I'm being pranked. I kind of laugh nervously and say, ‘Oh, I didn't know you were bringing anyone,’ and he goes, ‘Oh, she just wanted to meet you. Don't worry—it's not a big deal’.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“But it was a big deal because she didn't just stop by to say hi — she ordered wine and stayed. The whole time, she's asking me these personal questions about my job, my family, even if I want kids someday.” </p> <p dir="ltr">“It was like an interview, not a date. Jake barely said anything. He just smiled and kept nodding like this was all normal,” she revealed. </p> <p dir="ltr">The woman then shared that after 20 minutes of the awkward encounter, she decided to leave, and texted Jake that same evening to say she didn’t want to go on another date. </p> <p dir="ltr">She said, “I couldn't take it anymore. I said I wasn't feeling great and needed to leave. I texted him later, saying I didn't think it would work out and wished him well.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Although she thought she did the right thing, she began doubting her decision and questioned if she was in the wrong. </p> <p dir="ltr">The 23-year-old concluded the post by asking, '”Now I feel kind of bad. My roommate says I did the right thing because honestly, who brings their mom to a first date? But my coworker said it was rude to just leave and that maybe his mom was just super close to him or nervous for him or whatever. Was I wrong for walking out?”</p> <p dir="ltr">Reddit users flocked to the comments section and ran to her defence as they slammed Jake for bringing his mother along on the date. </p> <p dir="ltr">One person said, “It's absurd that he would bring her. Unless she needs constant supervision due to some health issue. That is a very strange dynamic. You did what most anyone else would have done. Best of luck.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p>

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Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas celebrate 24th anniversary

<p>Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas have celebrated their 24th wedding anniversary. </p> <p>The Hollywood couple, who've been together since 1998, took a trip down memory lane and shared photos from their nuptials as well as loving tributes to each other. </p> <p>Zeta-Jones shared three photos of their wedding day and the moment they officially became husband and wife. </p> <p>"24 years ago, I said, I do," she began in the caption.</p> <p>"Happy Anniversary darling Michael. Our love is like a hole in one…. You have to see it to believe it. Love you," she added with a series of red heart emojis. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/DCgehPtsXt2/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/DCgehPtsXt2/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Catherine Zeta-Jones (@catherinezetajones)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Douglas shared one photo of their wedding day, showing the two cheek-to-cheek as they smiled for the camera, with Zeta-Jones' showing off her stunning ring. </p> <p>"24 years ago my darling," wrote Douglas. "Wow was I a lucky guy! Happy Anniversary Catherine!" </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/DCgB47hs8kA/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/DCgB47hs8kA/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Michael Douglas (@michaelkirkdouglas)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>The couple first met in 1998, after Douglas said he fell in love at first sight and arranged a meeting with her through his publicist. They began dating shortly after. </p> <p>They got engaged the following year and had their first child together in 2000. </p> <p>Zeta-Jones and Douglas share two kids together, Dylan, 24 and Carys, 21, who are both following in their parents footsteps and pursuing careers in acting. </p> <p>Douglas also has a son from a previous relationship, named Cameron Douglas, 45.</p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p> <p> </p>

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Readers response: What’s the best advice you’ve received on staying healthy as you age?

<p>We asked our readers what the best advice they’ve received on staying healthy as you age is, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. </p> <p><strong>Fred Pilcher </strong>- Don't smoke. That's the most important advice you're likely to get. If you do smoke, quit now. Today. I've lost parents and friends to lung cancer and emphysema - both terrible ways to go. (I say this as a former two pack a day addict.)</p> <p><strong>Kate Caddey</strong> - Stay as fit as you can. Walk, do the stretch, balance and dance offerings. Travel the slightly harder way with ups and downs included. Stay curious about people you meet and about everything in general. Never stop learning.</p> <p><strong>Marie Jones</strong> - Keep laughing.</p> <p><strong>Gloria Hickey</strong> - Keep active, but wish I had been told to have my B12 added to yearly blood work too. </p> <p><strong>Peter Connolly</strong> - Best advice I got was "Whatever you do, go out with a bang. There is absolutely no point in lying in bed in a hospital, dying of nothing!"</p> <p><strong>Terry Dolman</strong> - Enjoy being happy. It takes more energy to be grumpy than smile. Plus, a good Friend in Vietnam now said "don't carry the past plus a drink of whisky a day." </p> <p><strong>Heather Dixon</strong> - Keep busy.</p> <p><strong>Lydia Poli </strong>- Enjoy the ride while you can!</p> <p><strong>Marlene Cochrane</strong> - Don't stop moving. Both physically and mentally.</p> <p><strong>Karen Ambrose</strong> - Keep dancing!</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

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‘A woman is not a baby-making machine’: a brief history of South Korea’s 4B movement – and why it’s making waves in America

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ming-gao-1496188">Ming Gao</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/australian-catholic-university-747">Australian Catholic University</a></em></p> <p>In South Korea, a growing number of young women are rejecting societal expectations of marriage, motherhood and heterosexual relationships, known as the “4B Movement” or the “4 Nos”.</p> <p>The “B” is a homophone for the Korean word <em>bi</em> (비/非), meaning “no”, representing the movement’s four principles: <em>bihon</em> (no marriage), <em>bichulsan</em> (no childbirth), <em>biyeonae</em> (no dating) and <em>bisekseu</em> (no sex).</p> <p>By refusing to marry, have children, engage in romance, or participate in sexual relationships with men, 4B feminists seek to redefine their lives outside the confines of traditional gender roles.</p> <p>In the wake of the reelection of Donald Trump, there has been <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-11-10/donald-trump-win-4b-movement-male-supremacists-make-threats/104575732">increased interest</a> in the 4B movement from women in the United States.</p> <p>But what is the 4B Movement, where did it come from, and how is it reshaping the feminist landscape in South Korea and beyond?</p> <h2>Challenges facing young women</h2> <p>The 4B Movement reflects <a href="https://www.khan.co.kr/national/national-general/article/202004140938001">a broader dissatisfaction</a> among young South Korean women who face instability of housing, digital sexual violence, economic disparities and cultural pressures.</p> <p>It emerged in the mid- to late-2010s, following a surge of interest in feminism in South Korea, and spread primarily through women’s online communities.</p> <p>The roots of the 4B Movement lie in South Korea’s rapid economic transformation and the subsequent challenges it posed for younger generations of the 2000s.</p> <p>For young women, economic insecurity is compounded by systemic gender inequality. South Korea <a href="https://www.straitstimes.com/asia/east-asia/south-korea-s-gender-pay-gap-worst-in-oecd">consistently ranks</a> worst in the OECD for the gender wage gap, and social mobility remains limited.</p> <p>Against this backdrop, traditional life paths – marriage, childbearing and homemaking – have become less appealing.</p> <p>Living an alternative life without men emerged as a radical strategy for young digital feminists to challenge the rigid patriarchy in South Korea.</p> <p>The <a href="https://www.khan.co.kr/national/national-general/article/202405172212001">senseless killing</a> in 2016 of a woman in a train station toilet by a man in Seoul shocked the nation and fuelled the movement. Online platforms became spaces where women could share their frustrations, critique patriarchal norms and organise protests.</p> <p>During this period communities like radical feminist online groups gained traction. Among these was the <em><a href="https://www.bbc.com/korean/news-44329328">Tal-Corset</a></em> (escape the corset) movement, which encouraged women to reject societal beauty standards by foregoing makeup, cosmetic surgery and restrictive clothing.</p> <p>The 4B Movement built on this momentum, targeting not only beauty standards but the very institutions that sustain patriarchy.</p> <p>It collectively challenges the notion that women’s value lies in their ability to support men and sustain the family unit.</p> <h2>‘A woman is not a baby-making machine’</h2> <p>The birth rate in South Korea ranks among the <a href="https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/birth-rate-by-country">lowest in the world</a>. The government has long viewed this as a national crisis. Policies such as subsidised housing for newlyweds and tax incentives for families have sought to encourage marriage and childbearing.</p> <p>In 2016, the government launched a national <a href="https://www.womennews.co.kr/news/articleView.html?idxno=248514">pink birth map</a> visualising the number of women of reproductive age in each district. It sparked outrage. Women criticised it as reducing them to reproductive tools, proclaiming, “<a href="https://www.nocutnews.co.kr/news/4713565">my womb is not national property</a>” and “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FsEWD1bi3E">a woman is not a baby-making machine</a>”.</p> <p>For many 4B feminists, these policies represent a stark example of how the state prioritises population growth over women’s autonomy. In response, the movement frames its rejection of marriage and motherhood as an act of political resistance.</p> <p>As one <a href="https://www.womennews.co.kr/news/articleView.html?idxno=111598">protest slogan</a> declared: “End population policies! Stop blaming women”.</p> <h2>Living on their own terms</h2> <p>Despite its growing influence, the 4B Movement faces significant challenges.</p> <p>The radical principles have sparked backlash, with critics labelling participants as selfish or anti-social. Swearing off men as a form of protest against patriarchal structures and traditional marital norms is sometimes (mis)interpreted as implicitly favouring <a href="https://brunch.co.kr/brunchbook/radsview2">lesbianism</a>, given its stance against heterosexual relationships.</p> <p>The movement has also attracted negative political attention. <a href="https://www.khan.co.kr/national/national-general/article/202004140938001">Lee Seung-cheon</a>, a 58-year-old Democratic Party candidate, pledged to introduce “measures to reject the 4B Movement” as part of his policy campaign in 2020.</p> <p>Yet 4B feminists remain steadfast in their vision of a future where women can live on their own terms. Their rejection of traditional life paths is not a retreat into isolation but an attempt to create new ways of being free from patriarchal constraints.</p> <p>As one participant noted, rejecting marriage allows women to envision futures beyond societal deadlines like “<a href="https://brunch.co.kr/@404homealone/34">a woman’s age has an expiration date</a>”.</p> <h2>An international movement</h2> <p>The 4B Movement’s radical critique of patriarchy has resonated internationally.</p> <p>4B Movement ideas are starting to strike a chord in the US. The movement’s core principles align with broader feminist critiques of patriarchy and capitalism, which have intensified in response to political developments such as Trump’s rhetoric and debates over reproductive rights.</p> <p>In the US, Trump’s presidency (and now his return) has been a flashpoint for feminist activism. Policies restricting access to abortion, coupled with an increase in conservative rhetoric around women’s rights, have galvanised movements that resist patriarchal structures.</p> <p>For American feminists, the 4B Movement offers a framework for resistance that goes beyond economic precarity. It provides a roadmap for rejecting political conflicts, focusing on reclaiming agency by prioritising autonomy over their own bodies and rights.</p> <p>6B4T is inspired by the 4B Movement and has gained particular attention <a href="https://weibo.com/1263977197/KaFZGjoG4">in China</a>. This version incorporates additional principles, including rejecting consumerism and fostering mutual aid among unmarried women.</p> <p>The spread of 4B ideas across Asia and beyond highlights the universality of feminist struggles. As the movement continues to evolve, its impact extends beyond South Korea, sparking conversations about gender, autonomy and the future of feminism.</p> <p>Whether embraced or contested, the 4B Movement forces society to confront uncomfortable truths about the cost of sustaining patriarchy – and perhaps the possibilities of living without it.</p> <hr /> <p><em>Correction: 6B4T is inspired by the 4B movement and gained attention in China; it did not originate in China.</em><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/243355/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ming-gao-1496188">Ming Gao</a>, Research Scholar, Gender and Women's History Research Centre, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/australian-catholic-university-747">Australian Catholic University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/a-woman-is-not-a-baby-making-machine-a-brief-history-of-south-koreas-4b-movement-and-why-its-making-waves-in-america-243355">original article</a>.</em></p>

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"What did we do?": Bride shares heartbroken reaction to empty wedding

<p>A bride has recalled the devastating moment she made a grand entrance to her wedding, only to discover almost no guests showed up. </p> <p>Kalina Marie took to TikTok to share the gut-wrenching video of the moment her and her new husband Shane stepped inside the lavishly decorated hall with their son, as they tried to come to terms with the fact that only a handful of people showed to celebrate with them. </p> <p>“This is our entrance to our Masquerade ball,” Ms Marie, who is from Oregon in the US, wrote in the caption of her clip, which has since amassed over seven million views. </p> <p>“The Masquerade ball that I have talked EXCESSIVELY about for the last 10 months. The same ball that I not only digitally invited over 75 people to. But ALSO spent money to send 25 beautiful invitations out to."</p> <p>“FIVE PEOPLE SHOWED UP!!!!!!! Like, are you kidding me!?!? As you see in the video, we enter the venue. And no one is there. The invite said 1pm. My mum messaged me at 1:15pm that no one was there. My husband and I finally showed up at 2 o’clock, to five people, in a venue planned for 40.”</p> <div class="embed" style="font-size: 16px; box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; outline: currentcolor !important;"><iframe class="embedly-embed" style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border-width: 0px; border-style: none; vertical-align: baseline; width: 600px; max-width: 100%; outline: currentcolor !important;" title="tiktok embed" src="https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2Fembed%2Fv2%2F7433899067664551198&amp;display_name=tiktok&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2F%40kalina_marie_23%2Fvideo%2F7433899067664551198&amp;image=https%3A%2F%2Fp16-pu-sign-useast8.tiktokcdn-us.com%2Fobj%2Ftos-useast8-p-0068-tx2%2F7f29587f56a44788903eea92cd974c62_1730839526%3Flk3s%3Db59d6b55%26x-expires%3D1731499200%26x-signature%3DbUQfTW%252F8BrelG0Dy5rCNSzBBbiQ%253D%26shp%3Db59d6b55%26shcp%3D-&amp;key=5b465a7e134d4f09b4e6901220de11f0&amp;type=text%2Fhtml&amp;schema=tiktok" width="340" height="700" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></div> <p>She said she “dreamt” that she would walk into a bunch of people “hooting and hollering” for them, but instead ended up having to “hold herself together” because she had “no idea” how to deal with her venue being almost completely empty.</p> <p>“All the wasted food and drinks,” Ms Marie continued. “All the empty tables and chairs. Every moment of my reception changed to adapt.”</p> <p>“It just makes me think, like, why? What did we do? Am I that bad of a person? What did my husband ever do to deserve any of this?” she questioned. “Why couldn’t we matter enough for people to show up?”</p> <p>She revealed that it makes her “sick” that she still has “friends” who haven’t even messaged her to congratulate her or tell her why they didn’t come, adding, “I honestly can’t wrap my head around this yet.”</p> <p>The heart-breaking video quickly wrapped up millions of views and comments, with many empathising with the new bride, with one person writing, "This hurts my heart for you."</p> <p>Thousands of others tried to lighten the mood, praising Ms Marie for how beautiful she looked and vowing to attend a do-over wedding.</p> <p>“NAH, RE-DO THIS. WE ALL SHOWING UP,” read a top comment, while another wrote, “Let’s do it over. This time invite me and the rest of us. We’ll show up and out. I love you beautiful and congratulations!!” </p> <p><em>Image credits: TikTok</em></p>

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Don’t like drinking plain water? 10 healthy ideas for staying hydrated this summer

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lauren-ball-14718">Lauren Ball</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-queensland-805">The University of Queensland</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/emily-burch-438717">Emily Burch</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-queensland-805">The University of Queensland</a></em></p> <p>Have you heard the saying “water is life?” Well, it’s true.</p> <p>Water is an <a href="https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/water/">essential nutrient</a>. Our body cannot produce sufficient water to live, so we need to consume water through food and fluids to survive.</p> <p>Maintaining hydration is one of the most fundamental components of good health. But lots of people don’t like drinking plain water much. The good news is there are many other healthy ways to help you stay hydrated.</p> <h2>Why hydration is important</h2> <p>Water is vital for many aspects of body functioning. About half our blood is “blood plasma”, which is over 90% water. Blood plasma is essential for carrying energy, nutrients and oxygen to the cells in the body that need it most. Water helps to remove waste products via the kidneys. It also helps keep joints lubricated, the digestive system functioning, the body’s temperature controlled and skin plump and strong.</p> <p>If you don’t consume enough water, you may experience symptoms of dehydration such as headaches, dizziness, tiredness, low concentration, constipation and a dry mouth. Being severely dehydrated increases the risk of <a href="https://www.kidney.org/atoz/content/kidneystones">kidney stones</a> and <a href="https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/urinary-tract-infection-uti">urinary tract infections</a>.</p> <p>If you feel thirsty, it means your body is already <a href="https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/9013-dehydration#:%7E:text=If%20you're%20thirsty%2C%20you,life%2Dthreatening%20illnesses%20like%20heatstroke.">mildly dehydrated</a>, so make sure you pay attention to what your body is telling you.</p> <h2>How much fluid do you need?</h2> <p>The amount of fluid we need changes as we age. Relative to our body weight, our needs decrease. So, a newborn baby has higher fluid needs (per kilogram body weight) than their parent, and older adults have lower fluid needs than younger adults.</p> <p>Fluid requirements are related to metabolic needs and vary from person-to-person. The normal turnover of water in adults is approximately 4% of total body weight per day. So, for example, if you weigh 70 kilograms, you’ll lose about 2.5 to 3 litres of water a day (not including sweating). This means you will need to consume that amount of water from food and drinks to maintain your hydration.</p> <p>Eight cups (or two litres) a day is often <a href="https://www.npr.org/2022/09/21/1124371309/busting-common-hydration-water-myths?utm_source=npr_newsletter&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=20221016&amp;utm_term=7386723&amp;utm_campaign=health&amp;utm_id=31926817&amp;orgid=&amp;utm_att1=">mentioned</a> as the amount of water we should aim for and a nice way to track your intake. But it doesn’t account for individual variation based on age, gender, body size and activity levels.</p> <p>Alcohol is a diuretic, which means it dehydrates the body by promoting water loss through urine. This fluid loss is a key factor that contributes to the severity of a hangover. Always have a glass of water in between alcoholic drinks to help stay hydrated.</p> <p>Caffeinated drinks (like tea and coffee) only have a mild diuretic effect. For most healthy adults, it’s okay to consume up to 400 mg of caffeine a day – that’s about four cups of coffee or eight cups of tea. If you drink more than this, it may impact your hydration levels.</p> <p>To check your specific requirements, check out the Australian <a href="https://www.nrv.gov.au/nutrients/water">guidelines</a> for fluid intake.</p> <h2>People who should take extra care</h2> <p>Some people are at greater risk of the harmful health effects from dehydration and need to pay special attention to their fluid intake.</p> <p>The highest priority groups are babies, young kids, pregnant women, and older adults. These groups are at greater risk for many reasons, including relatively higher water needs per kilo of body weight, reduced ability to detect and respond to symptoms of dehydration, and barriers to consuming fluids regularly.</p> <p>Family and friends can play an important role in <a href="https://www.agedcareguide.com.au/information/hydration-for-elderly-people-and-the-dangers-of-dehydration">supporting loved ones</a> to maintain hydration, especially during warm weather.</p> <h2><strong>Ten ideas for keeping fluids up this summer</strong></h2> <ol> <li> <p><strong>Download a water reminder app on your phone</strong> This will help keep you on track during the day and give you digital “high fives” when you hit your water goals.</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>Add sugar-free flavouring</strong> Try a sugar-free fruit infusion in your water to make it more appealing. Prepare a jug in the refrigerator and infuse it overnight so it’s chilled for you the next day. Fill it up and take it everywhere with you!</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>Add some fresh fruit</strong> Add some slices of lime, lemon, berries, pineapple or orange to your water bottle for some natural flavouring. If the bottle is kept in a fridge, the fruit will stay fresh for about three days.</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>Make a jug of iced tea (not the bottled stuff)</strong> There are many great sugar-free recipes online. Tea contributes to fluid intake too. For green and black teas, brew in boiling water then cool overnight on the bench before refrigerating. Fruit teas can be made using cold water immediately.</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>Add a dash of cordial to your water</strong> A small amount of cordial in your water is a healthier alternative to drinking a sugar-sweetened soft drink or fruit juice. Diet cordials have less added sugar again.</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>Make a fruit ‘slushie’</strong> Combine fresh fruit, ice and water at home in the morning and sip to increase your fluid intake for the day.</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>Buy a soda maker for your home</strong> Some people find plain water tastes better with bubbles. Sparkling mineral water is great too, as long as there is no added sugar or sweeteners.</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>Before you eat anything, have a glass of water</strong> Make it a rule with yourself to have a glass of water before every snack or meal.</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>Eat water-rich fruits and vegetables</strong> Many fruits and vegetables have a high water content. Some of the best include berries, oranges, grapes, carrots, lettuce, cabbage, spinach and melons. Keep a container full of cut-up fruit to snack on in your fridge.</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>Use a water bottle</strong> Take it with you during the day and keep it by your bed overnight.</p> </li> </ol> <h2>A tip on water bottles</h2> <p>Water bottles are everywhere and sometimes seem to offer <a href="https://www.refinery29.com/en-au/emotional-support-water-bottle-girlies-tiktok-trend">emotional support</a> as well as hydration.</p> <p>Having a water bottle you enjoy using can go a long way in helping you keep up your fluids during the day.</p> <p>Pay attention to the material of the water bottle and use one that helps you form good habits. Some people prefer metal water bottles as they can keep water cooler for longer (others feel like they are camping). Some prefer glass bottles because the water isn’t affected by any flavours from the container (others fear breaking the glass).</p> <p>Consider the practical aspects, too: Will it fit in your bag? Will it be light enough to carry with you? Can you “chug” on it when you’re exceptionally thirsty? Does the lid require screwing? How durable is it in preventing leaks? Do some <a href="https://www.marthastewart.com/7842071/best-water-bottles-hydration">homework</a> on your water bottle, an essential accessory!</p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lauren-ball-14718">Lauren Ball</a>, Professor of Community Health and Wellbeing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-queensland-805">The University of Queensland</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/emily-burch-438717">Emily Burch</a>, Dietitian and Researcher, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-queensland-805">The University of Queensland</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/dont-like-drinking-plain-water-10-healthy-ideas-for-staying-hydrated-this-summer-191859">original article</a>.</em></p>

Body

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Share the gift of healthy, luscious hair this festive season

<p dir="ltr">With the festive season approaching, there’s nothing worse than dull and lifeless hair, especially when we’re going to Christmas parties and taking photos with loved ones. </p> <p dir="ltr">So whether you’re looking for a treat for yourself, or a special gift for someone in your life, give the gift of gorgeous hair with Wella Professionals stunning Christmas range. </p> <p dir="ltr">With gift packs for every hair concern, there is something for everyone in Wella’s gifting range, whether your hair is coloured or damaged, or if you’re looking for an injection of moisture or shine.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/DBznE8TuYIt/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/DBznE8TuYIt/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Wella Professionals ANZ (@wellapro_anz)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">Ranging from the Wella Professionals Fusion Travel Trio for just $48.95, to the Wella Professionals Ultimate Repair Repair Trio for $114.95, the gorgeous gift packs feature a mix of shampoo, conditioner, masks, and shine oils. </p> <p dir="ltr">There are 10 beautiful gift packs on offer, with these Wella Trios having everything you need to get you, or the lucky person you’re buying for, started on their journey to transform their hair.</p> <p dir="ltr"><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2024/11/wella-xmas-inset.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /></p> <p dir="ltr">The complete selection of Wella Professionals gift sets available to purchase at <a href="https://www.sephora.com.au/brands/wella-professionals?srsltid=AfmBOoql21pQ7BfPilCk7yTK4JwxBXCCsVjcOXHZrejK5F6EL0lGfrHj">Sephora</a>, Myer, David Jones, <a href="https://www.adorebeauty.com.au/b/wella-professionals.html">Adore Beauty</a>, Amazon, <a href="https://www.ozhairandbeauty.com/brands/wella-professionals?top=brands&amp;gad_source=1&amp;gbraid=0AAAAADs5kjeHbLVuofBnsO5umpMUOhOdq&amp;gclid=Cj0KCQiA_qG5BhDTARIsAA0UHSK22eIZDejiKd533GEKq8iaYrKphZVZIwRj4d7J4rJ8T7XCudVZNoEaAv3xEALw_wcB">Oz Hair &amp; Beauty</a>, Look Fantastic, The Iconic and selected Wella Salons, as well as Wella’s official <a href="https://au.wella.professionalstore.com/">website</a>. </p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Supplied / Shutterstock </em></p>

Beauty & Style

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Readers response: What celebrity do you think would make a great friend, and why?

<p>When it comes to celebrities, everyone has their favourites, their crushes, and those they'd rather steer clear of. </p> <p>We asked our readers what celebrity they think they would be good friends with, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. </p> <p><strong>Judy Yannopoulos</strong> - Keanu Reeves. A true honest person with a good heart.</p> <p><strong>Jenny Maclean</strong> - Steven Fry. He’s honest and kind and so very intelligent.</p> <p><strong>Jeff-Lyn Bloom</strong> - Tom Hanks. He is so down to earth. Doesn’t put on airs.</p> <p><strong>Jan Totti</strong> - John Farnham, because he’s down to earth and there’s no pretences. He seems just a lovely honest person. He’s an amazing Australian singer.</p> <p><strong>Caz McDougall</strong> - Michael Sheen and David Tennant.</p> <p><strong>Karen Maberly</strong> - Judi Dench. Seems like a good communicator, sharp mind and full of fun, and not full of herself!!</p> <p><strong>Cheryl Cunningham</strong> - Denzel Washington. Totally honest and decent human.</p> <p><strong>Rhonda Moffitt</strong> - Maggie Beer. She treasures family &amp; others. Always smiling, Maggie I think would be great company.</p> <p><strong>Lisa Drury Hudson</strong> - Audrey Hepburn, for her compassion, strength, fighting for children's rights and empathy. What a loss.</p> <p><strong>Bob Wilkinson</strong> - Hugh Jackson and Chris Hemsworth as they both seem like down to earth nice people.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Relationships

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Arguing with the people you love? How to have a healthy family dispute

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jessica-robles-617248">Jessica Robles</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/loughborough-university-1336">Loughborough University</a></em></p> <p>Unlike Britain’s royal family, most of us don’t have the option to move to another country when we don’t see eye to eye. But most of us have likely experienced disagreements with loved ones.</p> <p><a href="https://www.sscnet.ucla.edu/soc/faculty/heritage/Site/Publications_files/CA_as_SOCIAL_THEORY.pdf">Conversations are designed to</a> do things – to start some action, and complete it – whether it’s a service transaction, an invitation to coffee or reassurance on a bad day. Our <a href="https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=ZnhyDwAAQBAJ&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;source=gbs_ge_summary_r&amp;cad=0#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false">uniquely complex communicative system</a> has evolved to help us get things done in the social world.</p> <p>Arguments are part of this complex system. They can be unavoidable, necessary or even productive. But they can also be difficult.</p> <p>It can be hard to know what to do when tensions are high and harsh words are flying, particularly when it involves someone you’re close to. But research on how disputes unfold – and conversation more generally – offers some ideas about the best way to handle one.</p> <h2>What is a dispute?</h2> <p>There are many words for disagreeing, and there are plenty of academic theories describing what disputes are and why they happen. But arguments are not abstract models. They’re lived in, breathed in, sweated in and talked (or sometimes shouted) into being.</p> <p>Research focusing on <a href="https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/288351315.pdf">how disputes actually happen</a> shows they’re characterised by three types of features. First are the <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0378216606000488">vocal features</a>, which include talking in a higher pitch, louder and faster. Then, there are <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1750481310395452?casa_token=MCNQWEQD6HwAAAAA:8nbyXh-cgjWzfL3syRrwybRFQl_ddHIMy9tRIAwPRAFADrgHtR2LSl9ZoUFsVlnzWPjWaKQZZ9XEVA">embodied features</a> such as aggressive gestures and avoidant stances, such as turning away from someone. Finally, there are <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/01638539009544746?casa_token=BB9edpIE1oUAAAAA:FTK-JRJ2oCmG7BufkUAQX1k1_9C1Cvc12r5ynYPM6duFB-HDWhgef8Va-Rh5Z2XksR64oTcPmi4FAQ">interactional features</a> such as talking over each other, not listening or metatalk – <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/08351813.2020.1826765?casa_token=isJl2NJbSIkAAAAA:Mh-dXMfkBSGvEeoOWAoxLDjzbZ_eF-zbND-D8q4RAP5WHadqg1KUZDF_UnySFAcyb3LD-DF3BbGq1A">comments about the conversation</a> as it’s happening.</p> <p><a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1354067X9953001?casa_token=Gje17vkyg_AAAAAA:ik_4Ze-4PIFLa6yjthOpztvJrtdVOokhRT73M8jDN4t1w0Bl7WzW2--d1vjZwanphorOH_r6jaVZdA">Displays of emotion</a> such as displeasure or anger, are also common. Participants might accuse each other of emotions or label their own emotions.</p> <p>Disputes happen for several reasons. What each person is doing can vary, from <a href="https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.530.8869&amp;rep=rep1&amp;type=pdf">complaints and accusations</a> to <a href="https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1348/014466610X500791?casa_token=r58ikQ5XFxEAAAAA:QR9wr0Fcz7q5BeSvL8soAIhKMNA1O9TcpcBaLleBKDvZ8Q5sPyX1OSg0OzSL5-xb8By5QbgNm9kHNhg">demands, threats or resistance</a>.</p> <p>They can be about many things – familial obligations, what to have for dinner, politics or how to plan a holiday. Luckily, disputes share elements <a href="https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=2NxaC7nSetAC&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;source=gbs_atb#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false">with each other</a> and with conversation generally – so you don’t have to invent new strategies every time you’re caught in one.</p> <h2>Affiliation and alignment</h2> <p>When bickering with a friend or family member, there are ways to make them feel like you’re still on their side even if you disagree. If you can keep these in mind, and use them at the right time, you might stop your dispute from escalating into something harder to mend.</p> <p>The first thing is <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/9781405198431.wbeal0196.pub2">affiliation</a>, which means support for the other person or their view of things.</p> <p>Affiliation involves phrasing what you say so it’s best <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/08351810903471258?casa_token=yxnWxfDAEB8AAAAA:uoHEX2dlOS06wxwlHH7TOWmmfB51qMMbzg5tadx5SeRcf_5-vABUKQZtIt0Hchu4vUlFNfCX4qRi5A">understood and easier to respond to</a>. For example, saying “you’ve been to France before, right?” invites someone to share their experience – partly by including the tag “right” at the end, which at least requires a confirmation.</p> <p>It can also involve categorisation, the way we talk about or treat others as <a href="https://link.springer.com/content/pdf/10.1007/BF00142771.pdf">certain types or group members</a>. For example, if you reduce the other person to a stereotype through labelling – by saying something like “girls always say stuff like that” or “OK, boomer” – you risk provoking a response to the insult, not to the action in which that insult was embedded.</p> <p>The second thing we expect from any conversation is alignment – cooperating with the direction of the conversation, such as accepting or denying a request. The opposite, disalignment, might occur when a request is ignored.</p> <p>Alignment has more to do with the sequence of the conversation, how the dispute unfolds over time. Asking for clarification – a practice known as <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0136100">repair</a> – or <a href="https://www.jbe-platform.com/content/journals/10.1075/prag.27.1.03rob?crawler=true">claiming a misunderstanding</a> can treat problems as fixable errors rather than moral failings or attacks. <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0261927X17744244">Humour can diffuse</a> conflict escalation.</p> <h2>How to have a healthy dispute</h2> <p>In the course of a dispute, you need to think about when to bring these tactics out. They’re more likely to yield better outcomes earlier in the dispute. By the time it’s escalated, your responses may be viewed through the prism of the dispute and <a href="https://books.google.co.uk/books?hl=en&amp;lr=&amp;id=eFSXDwAAQBAJ&amp;oi=fnd&amp;pg=PT200&amp;ots=6tM3fJnXr1&amp;sig=Zchtur1abh25W7ERN5Q49ASRaJc#v=onepage&amp;q&amp;f=false">any offensiveness</a> you’ve already displayed toward each other. In cases like this, teasing can come across as contempt, for example, and claims to misunderstand as bad-faith mockery.</p> <p>It can feel like disputes take on a life of their own – as if the conversation uses us rather than we use it – and this is partly because conversation can seemingly take us along for the ride (consider the difficulty of turning down invitations). We invest our identities into conversations so disputes can seem to threaten us and <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0378216618304302?casa_token=1SbOpn_2k8MAAAAA:YQ2Yb9nt-ONsmBKmVzTCx8cfl76bS5nK6_Yd8zONBVJFdJ57vwgdBDJxsXfk0aUOhilRQAF-ABA">what we stand for</a> morally.</p> <p>This may be starker with family, whose opinions of us often matter more than friends or colleagues, for example. It’s always worth stopping to reflect on what a dispute is really for, whether what you’re saying lines up with your goals and whether taking a stand is worth it.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/159565/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jessica-robles-617248">Jessica Robles</a>, Lecturer in Social Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/loughborough-university-1336">Loughborough University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/arguing-with-the-people-you-love-how-to-have-a-healthy-family-dispute-159565">original article</a>.</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Broadway star files for divorce amid Hugh Jackman rumour

<p>Broadway star Sutton Foster has filed for divorce from her screenwriter husband, Ted Griffin, after ten years of marriage. </p> <p>The 49-year-old actress filed for uncontested divorce in New York County Supreme Court on Tuesday, according to <em>Page Six</em>. </p> <p>The pair got married in Santa Barbara in 2014, and adopted their daughter Emily three years later. </p> <p>Page Six reports that rumours about Foster's marriage being on the rocks began circulating in Broadway circles when she starred in The Music Man alongside Hugh Jackman. They also said that multiple sources have claimed the pair have fallen in love. </p> <p>“They are 100 per cent together and are in love and want to spend the rest of their lives together,” a source previously told <em>Page Six</em>.</p> <p>The publication claims that their relationship is going strong, but they have been staying out of the public eye and keeping it under wraps. </p> <p>“They are still together,” a source told <em>Page Six</em>. </p> <p>“They go out of their way to hide it, but it’s common knowledge.”</p> <p>Jackman filed for divorce from Deborra-Lee Furness, after 27 years of marriage, in September 2023. </p> <p>Furness and Jackman released a joint statement at the time, saying: “We have been blessed to share almost three decades together as husband and wife in a wonderful, loving marriage. Our journey now is shifting, and we have decided to separate to pursue our individual growth.”</p> <p>Neither Jackman or Foster have commented on the reports. </p> <p><em>Image: Lev Radin/Pacific Press/ Shutterstock Editorial</em></p> <p> </p>

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Cal Wilson's husband shares heartfelt tribute one year after her passing

<p>It's been one year since Cal Wilson tragically passed away, and now her husband has shared a moving tribute in her memory. </p> <p>Chris Woods took to Instagram to reflect on life since his wife's passing, and looked back on all "the little things" that made her special. </p> <p>“It’s hard to believe it’s been a year since you left us. Some days feel endless without you, while others rush by in a blur, reminding me just how quickly time passes. Not a moment goes by that I don’t miss you and feel a pang of sadness for all that you’ve missed,” he began.</p> <p>“You’d be so proud of Mr. Bear; he’s blossomed into an amazing person, full of resilience and kindness. Your love and warmth are woven into him, things I worried might fade but have only grown stronger.</p> <p>“Today, we’re focusing on all the good memories—the joy, laughter, and love you brought into our lives. We want to embrace the balance of a little sadness with a lot of joy, just as you would have wanted.</p> <p>“As we slowly move forward towards the next chapter, your people have been our rock, showing us all the love and kindness that you embodied. We are so fortunate to have them by our side. The cats are as mischievous as ever, and their affectionate antics constantly remind us of all the joy you brought into our lives.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/DA9SzFozgaH/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/DA9SzFozgaH/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Cal Wilson (@calbowilson)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“Even in what turned out to be your darkest moments, you shone so brightly on the telly and we’re incredibly proud of all that you achieved on Bake Off this season. We’ll cherish your final appearance.</p> <p>“Love surrounds us, and every day we throw the curtains wide, thinking of you. We’ll always remember the little things that made you, you.”</p> <p>The New Zealand comedian and TV personality tragically passed away on October 11 2023 at the age of 53 following a short <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/health/caring/cal-wilson-s-cause-of-death-revealed" target="_blank" rel="noopener">battle with cancer</a>. Her management confirmed at the time that she died with her family by her side. </p> <p>Fans were quick to share their words of encouragement to Woods and the couple's son Digby, with one saying: “Lots of love to you all for today." </p> <p>“This made me cry. I only ever knew Cal from tv, but what an amazing human she was just from my perspective. But, I can see in your words just how much she meant to you both. While the pain of loss will never fully subside, I’m sending my best to you both," another commented. </p> <p>"Sending you all my love today, Chris and Digby,” commented another.</p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

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Paul McCartney shares emotional message on John Lennon’s birthday

<p dir="ltr">Paul McCartney has shared an emotional post in dedication to John Lennon on what would’ve been his 84th birthday. </p> <p dir="ltr">The music icon took to Instagram to share a photo from the stage in which he is performing in front of footage of Lennon, who died at the age of 40 in 1980.</p> <p dir="ltr">McCartney shared the moving birthday tribute to his late friend and former bandmate, thanking him for “being there”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Happy Birthday John. Thanks for being there,” he captioned the photo. </p> <p dir="ltr">McCartney’s dedication to his late friend and musical collaborator touched the hearts of Beatles fans around the world who were quick to praise his kind words.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/DA5xSyjC8bL/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/DA5xSyjC8bL/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Paul McCartney (@paulmccartney)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">“I’m going to cry,” one wrote, while another added, “You and John after many decades are still the best songwriters of the world!”</p> <p dir="ltr">“I remember the news on that sad day in December. Happy birthday John,” commented another in reference to the day Lennon passed. </p> <p dir="ltr">The birthday message comes after McCartney lifted the lid on the final conversation he had with Lennon before he died. </p> <p dir="ltr">Speaking candidly about their “complicated” relationship on <em>The Howard Stern Show</em>, he recalled how their wholesome conversation was sparked by a shared hobby. </p> <p dir="ltr">McCartney told Stern the conversation was “very special” in spite of the “whole horrible thing of the group breaking up”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“And I ring John and I was making bread and got quite good at it,” he said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“So when I heard John was doing it, it was great. We could just talk about something so ordinary.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“There’s no threat or anything. It was just two guys talking about, ‘Well, I don’t know. Do you leave it overnight or what do you do? And someone says, ‘Yeah, I leave it overnight in a hot cupboard’ and you’d just be chatting.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“It was really nice and I was so glad that we got back to that relationship that we’d always had when we were kids. We’d lived in each other’s pockets for so long that it was great to get back to that.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Instagram</em> </p> <p> </p>

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"Ridiculous and disrespectful": Groom goes viral for working on wedding day

<p>A wedding photo has gone viral for the wrong reasons after a groom was pictured working on his own wedding day. </p> <p>Torrey Leonard, the founder of US-based start-up company, Thoughtly, shared a photo of his co-founder, Casey Mackrell, pulling out a laptop at his own wedding to get some work done.</p> <p>“My co-founder Casey has built a reputation for himself as ‘the guy who sits on his laptop in bars’ from SF to NYC,”  he wrote in the post. </p> <p>“Last week Thoughtly brought on a customer that needed to launch within 2 weeks. He just so happened to be getting married within that 2 week window.</p> <p>“So, here he is wrapping up a pull request. At his own wedding. Congrats Casey – now please, go take some time off.”</p> <p>Hundreds of people were quick to comment on the post, labelling it “one of the most depressing LinkedIn posts to exist” and it was even shared to other social media pages. </p> <p>The groom himself eventually had to clarify saying:  “Don’t worry I got back to dancing and champagne 2 seconds later.” </p> <p>But that wasn't enough to appease fellow LinkedIn users. </p> <p>“So your company has such terrible work/life balance that you can’t have a WEDDING without having to work? That’s just sad as hell," one wrote. </p> <p>Another commenter quipped that it was "really sad" the groom didn't call off the wedding to focus on work, saying: “Someone who actually knows how to grind would have called it off the second the contract was signed." </p> <p>A few others questioned the authenticity of the post, saying that it had to be staged as they couldn’t believe that someone would be “that ridiculous and disrespectful to his bride and family”.</p> <p>“Aside from the fact that this is probably staged, pushing people to sacrifice their private life and mental health is not the flex you think it is," another added. </p> <p>In an interview with <em>news.com.au</em> Leonard defended his co-founder's decision and explained the situation. </p> <p>“As a company, what we do is very high-stakes. Every single one of our customers, they depend on us to function perfectly, 24-7, around the clock, no questions asked,”  he told the publication. </p> <p>“We work with many publicly traded companies across the globe, and we spend long hours of the night, early mornings awake, monitoring these calls, proactively fixing issues, fixing problems, building new features.</p> <p>“The context of this post, he had to solve a problem, and it was really only something that he could solve. It was a three- to five-minute task.</p> <p>“We understand that this lifestyle is not for everybody. It’s obviously something that is a lot of work, but it’s something that we love.”</p> <p>He also clarified that Mackrell's bride, Grace, did not have a problem with the brief interruption on their happy day. </p> <p>“They were dating for many years, so she’s seen him pull a laptop out at a restaurant dinner table. I mean, it looks crazy, but that’s just who Casey is. She’s obviously fine with it.”</p> <p><em>Images: LinkedIn</em></p>

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First look at Rebel Wilson's Italian wedding

<p>Rebel Wilson has <a href="https://oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/rebel-wilson-ties-the-knot-in-italian-destination-wedding" target="_blank" rel="noopener">tied the knot</a> with her partner Ramona Agruma, with the Aussie actress sharing the first glimpse into their special day. </p> <p>Sharing a picture of herself and new wife, who donned matching white wedding dresses by designer Pronovias, Wilson captioned the snap: "Married" alongside a ring emoji. </p> <p>She added their wedding date, writing: "Sardinia 28.9.24."</p> <p>The happy couple smiled widely as they looked loved-up while holding their bouquets, with the stunning Italian water behind them. </p> <p>Wilson's bridal gown featured an off-the-shoulder design and a full, A-line skirt, while she had her blonde hair pinned back on one side with a jewelled hair clip. </p> <p>Fans and followers flocked to comment underneath, including Wilson's former Pitch Perfect co-star, Adam Devine, who wrote, "Both of you look stunning! Congrats Rebs. Look at us all grown up! So happy for you!"</p> <p>After the wedding, Rebel shared more photos with Ramona of the newlyweds enjoying their honeymoon in Paris as they attended Paris Fashion Week shows.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/DAlXAZvMc3w/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/DAlXAZvMc3w/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Rebel Wilson (@rebelwilson)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>"Serious honeymooning going on in Paris," she wrote as the pair donned black outfits to sit in the front row of the Maison Yoshiki fashion show. </p> <p style="font-size: 16px; box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; caret-color: #212529; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';">The couple got married in the Italian island of Sardinia, which holds special significance to the pair as it was the place where they took their first holiday as a couple, days after going public with their relationship on Instagram in 2022. </p> <p style="font-size: 16px; box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; caret-color: #212529; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji';">“I thought I was searching for a Disney Prince… but maybe what I really needed all this time was a Disney Princess #loveislove,” Rebel wrote in a heartfelt Instagram post of the pair shortly after they went public with their romance. </p> <p><em>Image credits: Instagram </em></p> <p> </p>

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Lost touch with someone? Reach out – your friend will likely appreciate it more than you think

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/peggy-liu-818769">Peggy Liu</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-pittsburgh-854">University of Pittsburgh</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lauren-min-1354136">Lauren Min</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-kansas-1588">University of Kansas</a></em></p> <h2>The big idea</h2> <p>The next time you wonder whether to reach out to a friend, family member, classmate or other person who’s been out of touch for a long time, go ahead and do it. According to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000402">our just-published research</a>, it’s likely they’ll appreciate it more than you think.</p> <p>In a series of 13 experiments involving over 5,900 participants, we – along with colleagues <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=0Stzf1cAAAAJ&amp;hl=en">SoYon Rim</a> and <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=TZQefJAAAAAJ&amp;hl=en">Kate Min</a> – wanted to investigate whether people accurately predict <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000402">how much their social contacts appreciate being reached out to</a>.</p> <p>In one experiment we conducted, college students wrote a note “to check in and say hello” to a classmate they hadn’t interacted with in a while. Then we asked them how much they thought their classmate would appreciate receiving this note.</p> <p>Next, we delivered these notes to their classmates and asked the recipients how much they appreciated receiving them.</p> <p>We found that the students who received the notes were much more appreciative of the gesture than the students who wrote them had anticipated.</p> <p>Other experiments varied the scenario by involving older adults as participants rather than college students, switching the written message to a small gift – such as cookies or coffee – and comparing how much the sender underestimated the appreciation that an emotionally distant contact would feel compared with a close contact.</p> <p>Overall they yielded the same basic finding: People tended to underestimate how much others appreciated hearing from them.</p> <p>What drives this underestimation? Our results suggest that it’s related to how little the people reaching out factor in the surprise felt by those being contacted. When we asked recipients what they focused on when indicating how appreciative they felt, they reported paying a lot of attention to their positive feelings of surprise, which were linked to how appreciative they felt.</p> <p>Comparatively, potential senders did not report focusing much on recipients’ positive feelings of surprise.</p> <p>It also mattered whether the two parties were already in a close relationship. People’s underestimations were even greater when their contact was a distant acquaintance because these recipients were especially surprised at being contacted.</p> <h2>Why it matters</h2> <p>Many people can name at least one person with whom they would like to reconnect. Taking a new job, moving to a different city, becoming a parent, or the busyness of everyday life – these are just some of the life events and circumstances that can cause people to lose touch. Then, if the desire to reconnect arises on one side, doubts may arise about whether the other person may appreciate being contacted out of the blue.</p> <p>When people consider taking the initiative to reach out, especially after a prolonged period of no contact, they may worry about being rejected. This worry might keep them from reaching out in the first place.</p> <p>Our research lessens this challenge by showing that often, these gestures will be much more appreciated than one might expect.</p> <h2>What other research is being done</h2> <p>Our findings fit within a growing stream of research examining the tendency to underestimate others’ appreciation of various social exchanges. For example, other researchers have found that people underestimate how much <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/pspa0000277">others appreciate receiving compliments</a> or <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797618772506">expressions of gratitude</a>.</p> <p>Our work adds to this area by broadening the scope of the contexts in which people underestimate how much social exchanges are appreciated. Reaching out could but need not require giving compliments or expressing gratitude – the gesture can be as simple as checking in with someone to show that one is thinking about them.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/185001/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/peggy-liu-818769">Peggy Liu</a>, Ben L. Fryrear Chair in Marketing and Associate Professor of Business Administration, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-pittsburgh-854">University of Pittsburgh</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lauren-min-1354136">Lauren Min</a>, Assistant Professor of Marketing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-kansas-1588">University of Kansas</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/lost-touch-with-someone-reach-out-your-friend-will-likely-appreciate-it-more-than-you-think-185001">original article</a>.</em></p>

Relationships

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Michael Schumacher's daughter ties the knot at luxury Spanish villa

<p>Gina Schumacher has officially married her partner Ian Bethke. </p> <p>The 27-year-old daughter of racing icon Michael Schumacher, tied the knot in an ultra-private ceremony in Mallorca on Sunday, September 30. </p> <p>The happy couple, who reportedly met while at riding school, had a stunning ceremony at the Schumacher family home, Villa Yasmin, in Puerto De Andraitx.</p> <p>"Forever yes to you, yes to forever ❤️" she wrote in an Instagram update. </p> <p>Set near the beach, with a beautiful view of the mountains, the newlyweds shared an embrace, with the beautiful bride in a creamy white lace gown that she accessorised with dainty jewelry. </p> <p>Gina opted for a low, tousled ponytail which highlighted her natural features. </p> <p>The groom donned a pinstripe suit with a dark grey tie and crisp white dress shirt. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/DAejBeBoJ8T/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/DAejBeBoJ8T/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Gina Schumacher (@gina_schumacher)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Michael's brother, Ralf Schumacher, was also in attendance and shared a snap with his boyfriend, Étienne Bousquet-Cassagne, who he has been publicly dating since July.</p> <p>They shared a glimpse of the wedding with a photo of them posing in front of a sunset, with the caption: "We had a wonderful time in #Mallorca. The sunsets and the atmosphere were magical ✨✨✨."</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/DAglZouMUDd/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/DAglZouMUDd/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Étienne Bousquet-Cassagne (@etn_cst)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Fans congratulated Gina and her husband on their new milestone.</p> <p>"Congratulations Gina you look gorgeous, your great dad will be so proud of you," one wrote. </p> <p>"Congratulations to both of you. ❤️" added another. </p> <p>"All the best and happiness + health for the whole family," wrote a third. </p> <p>It has yet to be confirmed whether Michael was in attendance, as the former race car driver has not been seen publicly since his skiing injury in 2013. </p> <p>German publications report the ceremony was kept secret until the announcement on social media. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p> <p> </p>

Relationships

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Rebel Wilson ties the knot in Italian destination wedding

<p>Rebel Wilson has reportedly tied the knot with her partner Ramona Agruma. </p> <p>Sources told <a href="https://people.com/rebel-wilson-marries-ramona-agruma-italy-exclusive-8705241" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>People</em></a> the nuptials went ahead on September 28, in Sardinia, Italy. </p> <p>Sardinia holds special significance to the pair, as it was the place where they took their first holiday as a couple, days after going public with their relationship on Instagram in 2022. </p> <p>“I thought I was searching for a Disney Prince… but maybe what I really needed all this time was a Disney Princess #loveislove,” Rebel wrote in a heartfelt Instagram post of the pair shortly after they went public with their romance. </p> <p>After just seven months of dating, the couple were engaged, with Wilson announcing the happy news of their fairytale Disney proposal on Instagram. </p> <p>“We said YES!” wrote Wilson alongside a series of photos taken in front of the Sleeping Beauty Castle. </p> <p>“Thank you Tiffany &amp; Co. for the stunning ring and to Bob Iger and the incredible team at Disneyland for pulling off this magical surprise!”</p> <p>That same month, the pair welcomed a baby girl, Royce, via a surrogate. </p> <p>The couple have been together since around January 2022, having been introduced to each other by their mutual friend,  Aussie actor Hugh Sheridan.</p> <p>In an interview with People magazine she recalled the origins of their relationship, telling the outlet that ahe and Agruma were speaking “on the phone for weeks” after they were introduced to each other. </p> <p>“It was a bit old-school in that sense – very romantic,” she said.</p> <p>“I think going through the process of finding more self-worth, I think that what you want in a partner is elevated, so it’s great to have someone who feels like an equal partner and to be in a healthy relationship.”</p> <p>“I thought I was really looking for a husband, dating about 50 guys in one year. I was always a bit of a girls’ girl and had deep friendships with women, but this was the first time that it was a romantic connection,” she added. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p> <p> </p>

Relationships

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The power of nostalgia: why it’s healthy for you to keep returning to your favourite TV series

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/anjum-naweed-1644852">Anjum Naweed</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a></em></p> <p>How often do you find yourself hitting “play” on an old favourite, reliving the same TV episodes you’ve seen before – or even know by heart?</p> <p>I’m a chronic re-watcher. Episodes of sitcoms like Blackadder (1983–89), Brooklyn Nine-Nine (2013–21), Doc Martin (2004–22) and The Office US (2005–13) – a literal lifetime of TV favourites – are usually dependable in times of stress.</p> <p>But recently, ahead of an exceptionally challenging deadline, I found myself switching up my viewing. Instead of the escapist comedy I normally return to, I switched to Breaking Bad (2008–13), a nail-biting thriller with a complex reverse hero narrative – and immediately felt at ease.</p> <p>What do our re-viewing choices tell us about ourselves? And is it OK that we keep returning to old favourites?</p> <h2>Fictional stories, real relationships</h2> <p>Although one-sided, the <a href="https://theconversation.com/neighbours-vs-friends-we-found-out-which-beloved-show-fans-mourned-more-when-it-ended-212843">relationships</a> we form with characters in our favourite TV shows can feel very real. They can increase a sense of belonging, reduce loneliness – and keep pulling us back in.</p> <p>When we rewatch, we feel sadness, wistful joy and longing, all at the same time. We call the sum of these contradictions <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Ekaterina-Kalinina-2/publication/313531584_What_Do_We_Talk_About_When_We_Talk_About_Media_and_Nostalgia/links/589d9aa592851c599c9bb12c/What-Do-We-Talk-About-When-We-Talk-About-Media-and-Nostalgia.pdf">nostalgia</a>.</p> <p>Originally coined in the 17th century to describe Swiss soldiers impaired by homesickness, psychologists now understand nostalgic reflection as a <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1037/gpr0000109">shield</a> against anxiety and threat, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352250X2200269X">promoting</a> a sense of wellbeing.</p> <p>We all rely on fiction to transport us from our own lives and realities. Nostalgia viewing extends the experience, taking us somewhere we already know and love.</p> <h2>Bingeing nostalgia</h2> <p>The COVID-19 pandemic triggered a wave of nostalgia viewing.</p> <p>In the United States, audience analyst <a href="https://variety.com/2024/tv/news/nielsen-2023-streaming-report-suits-the-office-record-1235890306/">Nielsen</a> found the most streamed show of 2020 was the American version of The Office, seven years after it ended its television run. A <a href="https://www.radiotimes.com/tv/drama/watching-tv-and-movies-favourite-lockdown-exclusive/">Radio Times survey</a> found 64% of respondents said they had rewatched a TV series during lockdown, with 43% watching nostalgic shows.</p> <p>We were suddenly thrown into an unfamiliar situation and in a perpetual state of unease. We had more time on our hands, but also wanted to <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00221309.2020.1867494">feel safe</a>. Tuning into familiar content on television offered an <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-coronavirus-might-have-changed-tv-viewing-habits-for-good-new-research-146040">escape</a> – a sanctuary from the realities of futures unknown.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/g4IQjUpTNVU?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> <p>Revisiting connections with TV characters gave us a sense of control. We knew what lay in their futures, and the calm and <a href="https://www.news24.com/life/wellness/body/condition-centres/depression/anxiety-disorders/the-psychology-behind-why-you-like-to-rewatch-your-favourite-movie-or-series-during-the-pandemic-20200814-2">predictability</a> of their arcs balanced the uncertainty in ours.</p> <h2>Nostalgia as a plot point</h2> <p>Nostalgia has been in the DNA of television since some of the earliest programming decisions.</p> <p>Every December, broadcasters scramble to screen one of the many versions of A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens’ much-retold and family-friendly ghost story, which also features nostalgia as a plot device.</p> <p>First screened on live TV in New York City <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adaptations_of_A_Christmas_Carol">in 1944</a>, on the still-new technology, the broadcast continued a 100-year-old tradition of the classic appearing on stage and cinema screens.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/pNo-Q0IDJi0?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> <p>Settling in around the telly for A Christmas Carol connects us to the holiday period and a heartwarming metamorphosis. Ebeneezer Scrooge revisits long-lost versions of himself and turns from villain to hero and our old friend in a single night.</p> <p>For viewers, revisiting this character at the same time every year can also reconnect us with our past selves and create a predictable pattern, even in the frenzy of the silly season.</p> <h2>Real-world (re)connection</h2> <p>The neuroscience of nostalgic experiences is clear. Nostalgia arises when current sensory data – like what you watch on TV – matches past emotions and experiences.</p> <p>It triggers a release of dopamine, a <a href="https://academic.oup.com/scan/article/17/12/1131/6585517">reward-system</a> neurotransmitter involved in emotion and motivation. Encountering nostalgia is like autoloading and hitting play on <a href="https://nwnoggin.org/2023/03/30/the-neuroscience-of-nostalgia/">past positive experiences</a>, elevating desire and regulating mood.</p> <p>So, nostalgia draws on experiences encoded in memory. The TV shows we choose to rewatch reflect our values, our tastes, and the phases of life we have gone through.</p> <p>Perhaps this is a reason why reboots of our favourite shows sometimes fall flat, and ultimately set fans up for disappointment.</p> <p>I still remember the crushing disillusion I felt while watching the reboot of Knight Rider (2008–09). I immediately turned to social media to find a community around my nostalgic setback</p> <h2>Stronger through stress</h2> <p>Going back to my challenging deadline, what was it about the nostalgic experience of watching Breaking Bad that made it different?</p> <p>Breaking Bad evokes a particular phase in my life. I binged the first three seasons when writing up my PhD thesis. Walter White’s rise and fall journey towards redemption is enmeshed in the nostalgia of a difficult time I made it through.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/HhesaQXLuRY?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> <p>The predictability of Walter White’s arc on second viewing was an unlikely haven. It’s escalating high-stakes drama mirrored my rising stress, while connecting me to who I was when I first enjoyed the show.</p> <p>The result? “Dread mode” switched off – even as my anti-heroes marched again to their dire cinematic comeuppance. Reality, past and present, could be worse.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/237753/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/anjum-naweed-1644852">Anjum Naweed</a>, Professor of Human Factors, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/cquniversity-australia-2140">CQUniversity Australia</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-power-of-nostalgia-why-its-healthy-for-you-to-keep-returning-to-your-favourite-tv-series-237753">original article</a>.</em></p>

TV

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What causes food cravings? And what can we do about them?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/gabrielle-weidemann-91497">Gabrielle Weidemann</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/western-sydney-university-1092">Western Sydney University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/justin-mahlberg-1634725">Justin Mahlberg</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/monash-university-1065">Monash University</a></em></p> <p>Many of us try to eat more fruits and vegetables and less ultra-processed food. But why is sticking to your goals so hard?</p> <p>High-fat, sugar-rich and salty foods are simply so enjoyable to eat. And it’s not just you – we’ve evolved that way. These foods <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5928395/">activate</a> the brain’s reward system because in the past they were <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/a0030684">rare</a>.</p> <p>Now, they’re all around us. In wealthy modern societies we are bombarded by <a href="https://theconversation.com/junk-food-is-promoted-online-to-appeal-to-kids-and-target-young-men-our-study-shows-234285">advertising</a> which intentionally reminds us about the sight, smell and taste of calorie-dense foods. And in response to these powerful cues, our brains respond just as they’re designed to, triggering <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/obr.12354">an intense urge</a> to eat them.</p> <p>Here’s how food cravings work and what you can do if you find yourself hunting for sweet or salty foods.</p> <h2>What causes cravings?</h2> <p>A food craving is an intense desire or urge to eat something, <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15589112/">often focused on a particular food</a>.</p> <p>We are programmed to learn how good a food tastes and smells and where we can find it again, especially if it’s high in fat, sugar or salt.</p> <p>Something that <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/obr.12354">reminds us</a> of enjoying a certain food, such as an eye-catching ad or delicious smell, can cause us to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/obr.12354">crave it</a>.</p> <p>The cue triggers a physical response, increasing saliva production and gastric activity. These responses are relatively automatic and difficult to control.</p> <h2>What else influences our choices?</h2> <p>While the effect of cues on our physical response is relatively automatic, what we do next is influenced by <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1090198107303308">complex</a> factors.<br />Whether or not you eat the food might depend on things like cost, whether it’s easily available, and if eating it would align with your health goals.</p> <p>But it’s usually hard to keep healthy eating in mind. This is because we tend to prioritise a more immediate reward, like the <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.physbeh.2010.04.029">pleasure of eating</a>, over one that’s delayed or abstract – including health goals that will make us feel good in the long term.</p> <p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/S0022-3999(00)00076-3">Stress</a> can also make us eat more. When hungry, we <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8656885/">choose larger portions</a>, underestimate calories and find eating more <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0195666315000793">rewarding</a>.</p> <h2>Looking for something salty or sweet</h2> <p>So what if a cue prompts us to look for a certain food, but it’s not available?</p> <p><a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appet.2014.04.005">Previous research</a> suggested you would then look for anything that makes you feel good. So if you saw someone eating a doughnut but there were none around, you might eat chips or even drink alcohol.</p> <p>But our <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appet.2024.107640">new research</a> has confirmed something you probably knew: it’s more specific than that.</p> <p>If an ad for chips makes you look for food, it’s likely a slice of cake won’t cut it – you’ll be looking for something salty. Cues in our environment don’t just make us crave food generally, they prompt us to look for certain food “categories”, such as salty, sweet or creamy.</p> <h2>Food cues and mindless eating</h2> <p>Your <a href="https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/161283824.pdf">eating history</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/eat.24179">genetics</a> can also make it harder to suppress food cravings. But don’t beat yourself up – relying on willpower alone is <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appet.2015.01.004">hard</a> for almost everyone.</p> <p>Food cues are so powerful they can prompt us to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797613484043">seek</a> out a certain food, even if we’re not overcome by a particularly <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797613484043">strong urge</a> to eat it. The effect is more intense if the food is easily available.</p> <p>This helps explain why we can eat an entire large bag of chips that’s in front of us, even though our pleasure decreases as we <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/0031-9384(81)90310-3">eat</a>. Sometimes we use finishing the packet as the signal to stop <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.physbeh.2015.03.025">eating</a> rather than hunger or desire.</p> <h2>Is there anything I can do to resist cravings?</h2> <p>We largely don’t have control over cues in our environment and the cravings they trigger. But there are some ways you can try and control the situations you make food choices in.</p> <ul> <li> <p><strong>Acknowledge your craving and think about a healthier way to satisfy it</strong>. For example, if you’re craving chips, could you have lightly-salted nuts instead? If you want something sweet, you could try fruit.</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>Avoid shopping when you’re hungry, and make a list beforehand</strong>. Making the most of supermarket “click and collect” or delivery options can also help avoid ads and impulse buys in the aisle.</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>At home, have fruit and vegetables easily available – and easy to see</strong>. Also have other nutrient dense, fibre-rich and unprocessed foods on hand such as nuts or plain yoghurt. If you can, remove high-fat, sugar-rich and salty foods from your environment.</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>Make sure your goals for eating are <a href="https://www.aafp.org/pubs/fpm/issues/2018/0300/p31.html">SMART</a></strong>. This means they are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound.</p> </li> <li> <p><strong>Be kind to yourself</strong>. Don’t beat yourself up if you eat something that doesn’t meet your health goals. Just keep on trying.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/237035/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> </li> </ul> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/gabrielle-weidemann-91497">Gabrielle Weidemann</a>, Associate Professor in Psychological Science, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/western-sydney-university-1092">Western Sydney University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/justin-mahlberg-1634725">Justin Mahlberg</a>, Research Fellow, Pyschology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/monash-university-1065">Monash University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-causes-food-cravings-and-what-can-we-do-about-them-237035">original article</a>.</em></p>

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