Placeholder Content Image

"Mum grew great dope": Son's hilariously honest tribute goes viral

<p>Two brothers from Sydney have made headlines around the world for their hilarious tribute to their late mother. </p> <p>Sean and Chris Kelly wrote a death notice for their mum Jennifer Ann Kelly when she passed away aged 88 on Monday last week. </p> <p>“Farewell Jennie Kelly, our wild and wayward mother,”  the notice which was posted in the Sydney Morning Herald began. </p> <p>Jennifer Ann lived most of her life outside Nimbin and The Channon in northern NSW until she moved to a nursing home in Turramurra 18 months ago. </p> <p>Her sons' tribute has triggered a call for more honesty about death as they opened up about their unconventional upbringing.</p> <p>They revealed that their mum refused to say "passed" when someone died, believed exposing youth to religion was a form of child abuse, and "it was impossible to watch the news in her presence due to her vocal outrage."</p> <p>And while the two brothers had spent most of their lives "compensating for our upbringing", their mother's "rare attempts at 'responsible' parenting or grandparenting were always touching". </p> <p>They also added: “Mum grew great dope, never wanted to leave a party and gave up champagne or gin frequently, but never simultaneously.”</p> <p>“News on what’s next to follow. Bring a shovel," they ended the notice. </p> <p>Their good-humoured grief and honesty gained global attention after it was posted on Reddit. It was also included in British outlet<em> The Independent </em>and <em>US People Magazine</em>.</p> <p>“Your mum sounds phenomenal. The amazing tribute has reached thousands of people in the UK,” one Reddit user said. </p> <p>“I wish I’d known Jenny, she sounds wonderful. Thank you for a wonderful obituary – clearly Jenny lived until she died,” added another. </p> <p>Others praised their candidness, with one saying: “[It’s] honest, as opposed to all those people who suddenly become heroes/Mother Teresa when they die.”</p> <p>In an interview with <em>7NEWS</em> Sean admitted that the unconventional obituary was a first for him. </p> <p>“I’d never done a death notice, I’d never really looked at them,” he said.</p> <p>“I swear I spent less than four minutes on that.”</p> <p>He added that he wasn't even sure it would be published, and “the next thing I knew, the day after, someone said ‘I think we heard someone on the radio talking about your mother this morning’.” </p> <p>“She would say that she was mortified, but all my friends tell me she would be absolutely delighted at the attention.”</p> <p>Jennie leaves behind her two sons and three grandchildren. </p> <p><em>Images: 7News/ SMH</em></p>

Family & Pets

Placeholder Content Image

Brutally honest housemate ad applauded

<p dir="ltr">A man has been praised online for his brutally honest advertisement for a roommate, in which he laid out some very specific ground rules for potential tenants.</p> <p dir="ltr">The man from Perth posted the ad on the Perth Buy And Sell Western Australia Facebook group, stating he “really really didn’t want a housemate” but needed someone to share the rent so he could “save for a motorbike”.</p> <p dir="ltr">He went on to list the many traits he wanted in his future housemate, which included someone who smokes outside, “no paedophiles” and a preferably introverted roommate who largely kept to themselves. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I really really don’t want a housemate, especially someone who talks too much or who has lots of visitors,” he wrote.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Prefer someone who just wants to use the room to set up a lan for computer hacking 9-5 or FIFO workers 4/1.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“No eye contact or boring ‘polite’ casual conversations.”</p> <p dir="ltr">On offer in the home was one large room with high ceilings, unlimited internet, with access to a large contained backyard complete with a lemon and orange tree, with the rent also enticingly priced at $165 a week.</p> <p dir="ltr">He also went on to say the prospective roommate could grow marijuana or magic mushrooms in the backyard but only “if you share”.</p> <p dir="ltr">The man who shared the ad has been praised online for being “refreshingly honest” and upfront, with many commenters appreciating his transparency. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Best room to rent ad ever. Expectations and boundaries laid upfront,” one woman wrote.</p> <p dir="ltr">It is as yet unclear if the man has found a roommate that meets his list of demands to move in with him – but we sure hope so. </p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Getty Images / Facebook</em></p>

Real Estate

Placeholder Content Image

“Hunk of junk”: Mum’s overly honest caravan ad has internet in stitches

<p>Glastonbury mum Katie Perkins has obviously had enough of the 27-year-old caravan taking up space on her property.</p> <p>So, in a fit of fury, she took to Facebook Marketplace to try and find a prospective buyer – but soon turned her post into an opportunity to vent a bit of pent-up rage at the “monstrosity” that had been plaguing her for so long.</p> <p>The UK woman was definitely a little too honest in her expletive-laden ad, and the post quickly went viral due to her astonishingly blunt descriptions.</p> <p>“It is a tin shed on wheels,” she wrote.</p> <p>“It is f***ing hot in the summer. It is f***ing freezing in the winter. It even grows icicles on the inside.”</p> <p>She adds that the oven and fridge are equally rubbish, but the microwave is “pretty decent.”</p> <p>“Get this hunk of junk off my f***ing land,” she pleads.</p> <p>“I’d love to say it’s beautiful, but I’d be lying. I’d love to say I loved living in it, but I’d be lying.”</p> <p>The listing has been shared more than 1,000 times and racked up hundreds of comments as people commended her for the refreshing honesty, calling it the “best ad ever”.</p> <p>Check out the images of the caravan in the gallery below, and here also is the full (slightly cleaned up) post in all its glory:</p> <p>“YES IT'S STILL AVAILABLE - I WILL. REMOVE ONCE IT HAS GONE.</p> <p>IT IS AN ANCIENT 27 YEAR OLD CARAVAN. 32FT x 10FT, 2 BED STATIC.</p> <p>IT HAS BEEN LIVED IN BY A FAMILY OF 7 (WE WERE A FAMILY OF 4 🤰⚠️) FOR 7 YEARS ONSITE WHILST BUILDING OUR DREAM HOME, WHICH TURNED INTO A F***ING NIGHTMARE.</p> <p>IT IS NOT PRISTINE.</p> <p>IT IS NOT PRETTY.</p> <p>IT IS A TIN SHED ON WHEELS.</p> <p>IT IS F***ING HOT IN THE SUMMER.</p> <p>IT IS F***ING FREEZING IN THE WINTER.</p> <p>IT EVEN GROWS ICICLES ON THE INSIDE. IT COULD DO WITH FULL REPLACEMENT OF CARPETS.</p> <p>IT NEEDS A GOOD BLEACH CLEAN THROUGHOUT.</p> <p>IT HAS A SHIT OVEN.</p> <p>IT HAS A SHIT HOB.</p> <p>IT HAS A SHIT FRIDGE.</p> <p>KIDS WERE POTTY TRAINED IN IT.</p> <p>DOG WAS POTTY TRAINED IN IT.</p> <p>IT HAS BEEN USED AS STORAGE FOR THE LAST 9 MONTHS.</p> <p>NEXT STOP THE F***ING CHICKENS ARE GOING IN IT.</p> <p>IT DOES HAVE A PRETTY DECENT MICROWAVE, ALBEIT CHEAP MORRISONS ONE.</p> <p>IT ALSO HAS EXTRAS!</p> <p>COUPLE OLD SHOES IN THE WARDROBE.</p> <p>ABSTRACT ART, ONE OF A KIND, COURTESY OF THE CHILDREN.</p> <p>OLD BOTTLES OF BOOZE UNDER THE SINK.</p> <p>PRETTY SURE THERE'S EVEN A SLOW COOKER THAT WAS ONLY USED ONCE?</p> <p>BEDS THAT HAVE BEEN DESTROYED AND I CANNOT BE F***ED TO REMOVE.</p> <p>I’M SURE IF YOU ARE LOOKING AT IT YOU CAN USE IT FOR SOMETHING, I DON'T GIVE A F**K WHAT.</p> <p>I WANT OFFERS.....I DON'T EXPECT ALOT BUT SOMETHING WOULD BE NICE.</p> <p>F**K IT - IF YOU TRUELY WANT THIS F***ING MONSTROSITY THEN I WILL TRADE IT FOR A COUPLE BOXES OF HUBBY'S FAVOURITE RED WINE - JAMMY RED ROO OR JAM SHED.</p> <p>GET THIS HUNK OF JUNK OFF MY F***ING LAND.</p> <p>I'D LOVE TO SAY IT'S F***ING BEAUTIFUL, BUT I'D BE LYING.</p> <p>I'D LOVE TO SAY I LOVED LIVING IN IT, BUT I'D BE LYING.</p> <p>I'D LOVE TO SAY I'D LOOK FORWARD TO A CARAVAN HOLIDAY, BUT GUESS WHAT...?</p> <p>I'D BE LYING.”</p> <p>… and if you’re still game to read the real thing, take a deep breath, be warned, and click <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/332595611252474/" target="_blank">here</a>.</p> <p><strong>Images:</strong> Facebook Marketplace</p>

Downsizing

Placeholder Content Image

“Hear the truth from me”: Prince Harry’s brutally honest speech

<p>Prince Harry has spoken publicly about his surprise decision to leave the royal family, explaining to guests at a charity dinner that he wanted to deliver the “truth from me”.</p> <p>He also pleaded for the public to trust that “my wife upholds the same values that I do”.</p> <p>In his speech, that was delivered at the Sentebale Fundraiser and shared on Twitter via royal reporter Omid Scobie, Prince Harry spoke honestly about the period of transition his family was experiencing. </p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/tv/B7hGUztJA0F/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/tv/B7hGUztJA0F/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by The Duke and Duchess of Sussex (@sussexroyal)</a> on Jan 19, 2020 at 2:00pm PST</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“I can only imagine what you may have heard or perhaps read over the last few weeks,” Harry told the crowd.</p> <p>“So, I want you to hear the truth from me, as much as I can share — not as a Prince, or a Duke, but as Harry, the same person that many of you have watched grow up over the last 35 years — but with a clearer perspective.</p> <p>“... I have grown up feeling support from so many of you, and I watched as you welcomed Meghan with open arms as you saw me find the love and happiness that I had hoped for all my life. Finally, the second son of Diana got hitched, hurray!</p> <p>“I also know you’ve come to know me well enough over all these years to trust that the woman I chose as my wife upholds the same values as I do. And she does, and she’s the same woman I fell in love with.</p> <p>“We both do everything we can to fly the flag and carry out our roles for this country with pride.”</p> <p>Prince Harry went onto explain that he was disappointed that things had ended like this and felt that himself and his family had no other choice but to leave.</p> <p>“Once Meghan and I were married, we were excited, we were hopeful, and we were here to serve,” he explained.</p> <p>“For those reasons, it brings me great sadness that it has come to this.</p> <p>“The decision that I have made for my wife and I to step back, is not one I made lightly. It was so many months of talks after so many years of challenges. And I know I haven’t always gotten it right, but as far as this goes, there really was no other option.”</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-conversation="none" data-lang="en-gb"> <p dir="ltr">In a passionate speech, Harry spoke about recent events, telling guests, “I want you to hear the truth from me, as much as I can share – not as a Prince, or a Duke, but as Harry.”<br /><br />Read his words, in full, here👇🏻 <a href="https://t.co/8nS7He5LB4">pic.twitter.com/8nS7He5LB4</a></p> — Omid Scobie (@scobie) <a href="https://twitter.com/scobie/status/1219016511546892289?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">19 January 2020</a></blockquote> <p>He also made it clear that he is not walking away from the royal family.</p> <p>“What I want to make clear is we’re not walking away... Our hope was to continue serving the Queen, the commonwealth, and my military associations, but without public funding. Unfortunately, this wasn’t possible,” he explained.</p> <p>“I’ve accepted this, knowing that it doesn’t change who I am or how committed I am. But I hope that helps you understand what it had to come to, that I had to step my family back from all I have ever known, to take a step forward into what I hope can be a more peaceful life.</p> <p>“... We are taking a leap of faith — thank you for giving me the courage to take this next step.”</p> <p>Naturally, Prince Harry ended things on a lighter note, sharing a sweet story about how his eight-month-old son Archie. The doting dad said that Archie “saw snow for the first time the other day and thought it was bloody brilliant”.</p>

Family & Pets

Placeholder Content Image

Majority of people return lost wallets: The most honest countries

<p>Honesty is one of the traits we value most in others. We often assume it is a rather rare quality, making it important for us to find out who we can actually trust in this selfish world. But according to new research, there’s no need to be so cynical – it turns out most people in the world are honourable enough to return a lost wallet, especially if it contains a lot of cash.</p> <p>The study, <a href="https://science.sciencemag.org/lookup/doi/10.1126/science.aau8712">published in <em>Science</em></a>, looked at how often people in 40 different countries decided to return a lost wallet to the owner, after the researchers handed it in to the institution in which they said it had been found. Surprisingly, in 38 countries, the wallets with higher sums of money were returned more often than those with smaller amounts. This was the opposite of what the researchers had expected, they thought there would be a minimum dollar value at which participants would begin to keep the money.</p> <p>Overall, 51% of those who were handed a wallet with smaller amounts of money reported it, compared with 72% for a larger sum. The most honest countries were Switzerland, Norway and the Netherlands whereas the least honest were Peru, Morocco and China.</p> <p>So why is this and what does it tell us about the psychology of honesty? To get an idea, I ran a very informal focus group to find out what kinds of things people may ask themselves when making a decision to return a found wallet. A common view was that no one wanted to appear to act in a socially unacceptable way, and nobody wanted to appear to be a thief. And, of course, the more money in the wallet, the greater the crime.</p> <p>An important aspect of the new study, however, was that the wallets were handed in to people working in the institutions in which they were said to be found. Given that people in one institution may know each other and may start suspecting each other, there was a very real chance of being found out if the wallet was not handed in. This is perhaps different from finding a wallet yourself on public transport when all you may grapple with is your own conscience.</p> <p>The “found wallet” test has been used in research before but this is the first global study to use it and it involved more than 17,000 lost wallets. In 2009, a researcher <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=26&amp;v=33SwGGm9eQc">carelessly “dropped”</a> a number of wallets all over Edinburgh to see what would happen. He got 42% of the wallets back, but wasn’t not the most interesting finding. It wasn’t only the money in the wallet that influenced whether it would be returned. Where a family photo, an image of a cute puppy, a baby or an elderly couple were included, the chances of the wallet being returned significantly improved.</p> <p><strong>Impressive advantages</strong></p> <p>We value honesty and other moral traits <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/258920778_Moral_Character_Predominates_in_Person_Perception_and_Evaluation">higher than non-moral qualities</a>, including intelligence or humour. As honesty has become one of the cornerstones of society, we start eduacting fellow citizens about it from an early age, even in nurseries. Developmentally, we make decisions early on about morality and moral behaviour, such as whether to share a toy. In 1958, psychologist <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawrence_Kohlberg">Lawrence Kohlberg</a> developed an entire theory about the <a href="https://www.britannica.com/science/Lawrence-Kohlbergs-stages-of-moral-development">stages of moral development</a>.</p> <p>But doing the “right” thing is often very hard in reality. Recent research shows there is a trade off – acting honestly can <a href="https://scholarship.richmond.edu/jepson-faculty-publications/89/">significantly inhibit</a> your own desires. Luckily, there are important advantages. One study suggests that <a href="https://psychology.nd.edu/faculty/anita-e-kelly/">there are tangible health benefits</a> from being honest. In one study, researchers compared groups of people who were instructed to be either honest or dishonest, and found that the honest group reported fewer sore throats, headaches and general feelings of sickness during the duration of the experiment.</p> <p>Being honest <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/19/well/mind/how-honesty-could-make-you-happier.html">may also make people happier</a>. This might be unsurprising when you consider a view in evolutionary psychology that honesty <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01503/full">is a marker that encourages trust and cooperation</a>. So being honest gets you more collaborators and greater success, meaning it provides an evolutionary advantage. If we have evolved in this way, then it is hardly surprising that making a dishonest decision may go against our very nature.</p> <p><strong>The honest individual</strong></p> <p>Given how socially important honesty is, we often struggle to deal with being dishonest ourselves – it can fundamentally threaten our view of who we are. Indeed <a href="http://danariely.com/">behavioural economist Dan Ariely</a> has shown that we often <a href="http://danariely.com/books/the-honest-truth-about-dishonesty/">convince ourselves that we are honest</a> even though we may behave dishonestly, as long as those moral lapses are not huge.</p> <p>The memories of such failures can also become less vivid or even distorted over time. For example, we may attribute reasons for our behaviour that aren’t entirely accurate (“I only kept the found wallet so I could give half of the money to a beggar”) but better support our views of ourselves. Essentially <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-we-are-all-moral-hypocrites-and-what-we-can-do-about-it-66784">we are all moral hypocrites</a>.</p> <p>But which people are the most honest? We may be tempted to think it is those who are most trusted in our society. In the past, those in the UK who needed a passport application signed could choose from individuals from a number of trusted professions including <a href="https://www.nature.com/news/banking-culture-primes-people-to-cheat-1.16380">bankers</a>, priests, teachers, police officers and members of parliament. You probably smiled when you read that list – we’ve all heard of dishonest politicians, for example. Clearly, honesty is not universal in any profession, or among any one category of people.</p> <p>We are all human, and as such open to the same psychological pressures and difficult choices when faced with temptation – we arrive at our own threshold of honesty, and these thresholds can change over a lifetime. There is evidence that, as we age, <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167215594189">we get more honest</a> as a result of becoming more norm focused – breaking the rules or seeking excitement becomes less common.</p> <p>But is honesty the best policy? Probably. That said, we will all agree that a “little white lie” here and there may be the best option sometimes. For example, choosing dishonesty over hurting someone’s feelings could in many cases be compassionate and socially acceptable.</p> <p>Knowing when to lie and understanding the consequences of it is the trick. Easing someone’s distress, or protecting ourselves from harm may certainly be acceptable – and we learn this too from an early age. I’ve concluded, for example, that telling a publisher that you’ve been working non-stop on an article as you rapidly approach deadline is a totally acceptable lie.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/119118/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: http://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em>Written by <span>Nigel Holt, Professor of Psychology, Aberystwyth University</span>. Republished with permission of </em><a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/majority-of-people-return-lost-wallets-heres-the-psychology-and-which-countries-are-the-most-honest-119118" target="_blank"><em>The Conversation</em></a><em>. </em></p>

Retirement Income

Placeholder Content Image

Woman writes brutally honest letter to her cheating husband’s girlfriend

<p>A woman has shared her anguish over her relationship ending via parenting platform Mumsnet.</p> <p>She’s written a moving post to the person who is having an affair with her husband and explained how she’s in the middle of a split as her husband has left her for a woman he met at work.</p> <p>She also shared her daughter’s perspective on the situation.</p> <p>“I just need to understand the reasoning behind having an affair with a taken/married man? In the middle of a break up and I’ve had 10-year-old daughter ask “why did the woman take daddy away?” she writes.</p> <p>“Such an innocent yet poignant question… please, for anyone that has been the ow (other woman) explain what you get out of it?”</p> <p>The anonymous writer also explains that her and her DP (dear partner) were close before the split.</p> <p>“I can just about grasp couples who aren’t happy, not getting on or no sec etc [sic]. My and my dp were happy, close. He was with me almost always. We went out and drank together. Had the odd date night, holidays.”</p> <p>After thinking on it, the anonymous woman decides that she would rather spend her time looking elsewhere.</p> <p>“I’d rather spend my time looking for someone else. A meaningful relationship rather than be used as an ego boost,” she finishes.</p> <p>Mumsnet users urged the woman to realise that her anger is misdirected, and she should be angry at her husband instead of “the other woman”.</p> <p>“Another woman did not take Daddy away. Life isn’t like that. Daddy left. He left. HE left – no one took him,” wrote one user.</p> <p>Another wrote: “Where’s your letter to your partner? The OW is not blameless but she did not take him away. He willingly cheated and left. Your anger is misdirected.”</p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

“It ended my relationship with them”: Madonna gets brutally honest about her relationship with her children

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Even global pop icons are not immune to the prevalence of mobile phones in their teenagers lives, which Madonna quickly found out.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In a new interview, Madonna, whose a mum of six after she adopted her four youngest children from Africa, has revealed that giving her older children a mobile phone ended the relationship with them.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I’m going to stick that one out for as long as possible, because I made a mistake when I gave my older ­children phones when they were 13,” she explained.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“It ended my relationship with them, really. Not completely, but it became a very, very big part of their lives.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“They became too inundated with imagery and started to compare themselves to other people, and that’s really bad for self-growth.”</span></p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Br1JE7WBQUw/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Br1JE7WBQUw/" target="_blank">Merry X-mas from Mambo and 4 of her 6 unicorns! 🦄🦄🦄🦄+🦄🦄. Sending Much Love 💜💜💜💜💜💜 and many prayers for ☮️ on Earth! 🌎🌍🌏. #blessed @luigimurenu #friends #family #love</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/madonna/" target="_blank"> Madonna</a> (@madonna) on Dec 25, 2018 at 4:25pm PST</p> </div> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Despite David, her oldest son, not being her biological son, Madonna believes she has the most in common with him.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">She adopted him in 2006 with ex-husband Guy Ritchie.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“What David has more than anything is focus and determination. I’m pretty sure he got it from me. He’s the one I have the most in common with,” Madonna said.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I feel like he gets me — he has more of my DNA than any of my children so far.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">However, her oldest daughter Lourdes, who is 22, is pursuing a career in show business but Madonna is worried about nepotism allegations.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“[Lola] is insanely talented,” said Madonna, using her affectionate nickname for her daughter.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I’m green with envy because she’s incredible at everything she does — she’s an incredible dancer, she’s a great actress, she plays the piano beautifully, she’s way better than me in the talent department.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“But she doesn’t have the same drive.”</span></p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BrVxKR2hOa9/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BrVxKR2hOa9/" target="_blank">#tbt! 💕 When my babies were my babies.................this photo was taken in Barcelona by @debimazar when I was on tour! #memories #lola #rocco</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/madonna/" target="_blank"> Madonna</a> (@madonna) on Dec 13, 2018 at 11:59am PST</p> </div> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Madonna also explained that Lourdes is impacted by what other people think of her. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I feel social media plagues her and makes her feel like, ‘People are going to give me things because I’m her daughter.’</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I try to give her examples of other children of celebrities like Zoe Kravitz (musician Lenny Kravitz’s daughter), for instance, who have to work through that ‘Oh yeah, you’re the daughter of … ’ — then eventually you are taken seriously for what you do.”</span></p>

Family & Pets

Placeholder Content Image

"I was a virgin until I was 23": Elton John gets candidly honest about sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll

<p>Legendary music star Elton John has gotten very candid and honest about his journey in the new film <em>Rocketman</em>, which is a biopic about his life and path to stardom.</p> <p>The new film stars Taron Egerton as Elton and <em>Bodyguard<span> </span></em>and<em><span> </span>Game of Thrones s</em>t<em>ar</em> Richard Madden as his manager and lover, John Reid.</p> <p>In a new interview, Elton has revealed that he was a virgin until he was 23 – and this is played out in the film. </p> <p>“If I am telling my story, it has to be honest,” the now 72-year-old singer told the <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/elton-john-reveals-didnt-joyous-16180367" target="_blank"><em>Mirror</em></a>.</p> <p>“I was a virgin until then. I was desperate to be loved and desperate to have a tactile relationship.</p> <p>“When they tear their clothes off in the movie, that was how it happened. It was in San Francisco.”</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bx7FGRcD_4j/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bx7FGRcD_4j/" target="_blank">Many people have been asking me how I felt after watching the musical fantasy film #Rocketman. Check out the article in today’s Observer Magazine to hear it straight from the horse’s mouth. Here’s the link: https://www.theguardian.com/global/2019/may/26/elton-john-in-my-own-words-exclusive-my-life-and-making-rocketman?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other @rocketmanmovie @obsmagazine</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/eltonjohn/" target="_blank"> Elton John</a> (@eltonjohn) on May 26, 2019 at 3:54am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Elton has also said that he wanted the film to celebrate gay lovemaking.</p> <p>“I’m so glad it’s in there because I am a gay man and I didn’t want to airbrush it under the carpet,” he said.</p> <p>“This is who I am and I was so joyous. When he is lying in my arms and I’m sitting back with a smile, I’m thinking, ‘Ah, I’m normal, I’ve had sex.’</p> <p>“When I grew up, my father told me if I masturbated, I’d go blind. At 13 years of age, I started to have glasses and I went, ‘Oh my God! This is coming true!’” he laughed.</p> <p>Elton added: “I’m proud<span> </span><em>Rocketman</em><span> </span>is the first major studio film with a gay love sex scene in it. If I’d left it out, I’d have felt I was cheating people.</p> <p>“If they don’t like it, I understand, but it’s part of who I am. That night was a very, very important part.”</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BxxgK0Nj3cK/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BxxgK0Nj3cK/" target="_blank">Happy Birthday, Bernie! 🎂 Your friendship changed my life and this month, the world can see it told in the #Rocketman 🚀 movie. Have an amazing day, I love you @bernietaupinofficial. 🚀 @rocketmanmovie</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/eltonjohn/" target="_blank"> Elton John</a> (@eltonjohn) on May 22, 2019 at 10:38am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Elton believes that he was saved by his partner of 25 years, David Furnish, 56, as well as their two children, Zachary, 8, and Elijah, 6.</p> <p>“There are still parts of being a performer which will lead to the dark side. But it doesn’t last long because I have David and I’ve my children. When my children are around, I never feel dark. I would never have thought I would be in a relationship for 25 years. I couldn’t last with any relationship because drugs came into it.”</p> <p>The film is set in the late 1960s and early 1970s and begins with Elton in rehab. The storyline is told in flashbacks and the singer-songwriter has been sober for almost 29 years.</p> <p>Elton explained: “Even though I was in a terrible state and I was doing a lot of drugs, I still kept working, I still kept making records and still kept touring and the music kept me alive. If I had stopped, I wouldn’t be here. It’s ­difficult to watch because I thought, ‘God, I don’t want to go back there.’”</p> <p><em>Rocketman</em> is in cinemas from this Thursday.</p>

Music

Placeholder Content Image

Rebecca Gibney’s honest message to her fans

<p>Rebecca Gibney is embracing her true self this New Year – and taking to Instagram to tell her followers they should too.</p> <p>In a side-by-side shot, the former <em>Packed to the Rafters</em> star showed two selfies – one heavily filtered and another with no editing. In her post, she highlights the importance of embracing your best self in 2019.</p> <p>“There’s nothing wrong with making the most of yourself – whack on a filter now and then if it makes you feel better, lipstick, makeup, surgery, weight loll, weight gain – whatever (sic),” the actress wrote in an Instagram post.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BsJNh8ih_da/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_medium=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BsJNh8ih_da/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_medium=loading" target="_blank">Fantasy versus reality. There’s nothing wrong with making the most of yourself - whack on a filter now and then if it makes you feel better, lipstick, makeup, surgery, weight loss , weight gain - whatever 👍🏻👌🏻 but let’s also remember that what we often see on social media are the best bits of peoples lives. We’ve all got shonky bits, mucky bits, downright grotty bits but at the end of the day we are really all the same underneath the costumes. And we’re all just muddling through the best we can so let’s keep embracing the real in 2019. As Oscar Wilde once said - “Be Yourself - Everyone else is taken” And thank you for all your kindness and love - I read every comment and really do appreciate them. Sending love back at you 💕💕💕</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/rebeccagibney_/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_medium=loading" target="_blank"> Rebecca Gibney</a> (@rebeccagibney_) on Jan 2, 2019 at 11:28am PST</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“… Let’s also remember that what we often see on social media are the best bits of people’s lives.</p> <p>“We’ve all got the shonky bits, mucky bits, downright grotty bits but at the end of the day we are really all the same underneath the costumes. And we’re all just muddling through the best we can so let’s keep embracing the real in 2019.”</p> <p>The 54-year-old actress is an advocate for mental health awareness, featuring in a series of images called Imperfectly Perfect – <a href="https://www.gofundme.com/imperfectlyperfectcampaign">a campaign to raise awareness</a> for mental illness and suicide prevention.</p> <p>Fans of Gibney thanked her for her honest and kind words, one user writing: “… It’s revolutionary to see women and especially older women being real, alive, action packed, strong, brave and beautiful.”</p> <p>“As Oscar Wilde once said,” Gibney wrote before finishing: 'Be Yourself – Everyone else is taken.'"</p>

Body

Placeholder Content Image

Is it better to be loyal or honest in your relationship?

<p><strong><em>Susan Krauss Whitbourne is a professor of Psychology and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. She writes the Fulfilment at Any Age blog for Psychology Today.</em></strong></p> <p>An old friend is in town on a trip that you’ve known about for months. Back when you made a date to get together for the evening, it seemed like a great idea. You definitely want to see this person, or at least you did at the time. Now that it’s getting closer to the actual event, you’re starting to regret having made those plans. Things have gotten hectic at work, and you’d like to take the evening to sit around in your sweats and binge watch that new program which just became available for streaming. </p> <p>Perhaps it’s not an evening out, but a lunch date on a weekday close by to where you work. The weather forecast is predicting a messy, rainy, day and you don’t think you’ll want to venture out any more than is necessary to get from home to the office. These situations present you with a classic dilemma: Do you tell the truth to your friend but risk the relationship or preserve the relationship by making up a legitimate-sounding excuse?</p> <p>Testing the values of loyalty vs. honesty in moral judgments, Cornell University’s John Angus D. Hildreth and University of California Berkeley’s Cameron Anderson (2018) asked “Does loyalty <span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/president-donald-trump">trump</a></span> honesty?” As they note, “Groups often demand loyalty, but all too often, loyalty can corrupt individuals to engage in deceit."</p> <p>Among the list of possible deceptions that loyalty to organisations or causes can prompt is pretending to believe in something you don’t or overlooking bad behaviour by people who are a part of your group. A politician might downplay a fellow office-holder’s illicit activity, or a sales manager might turn a blind eye to the shoddy products that the company is putting out on the market. You might lie to help your <span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/teamwork">team</a></span> win in a competitive match. The deceptions involved in these instances have more serious consequences than those associated with <span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/deception">lying</a></span> to a friend to preserve the relationship, but the same underlying dynamic is at play in that honesty and loyalty operate at cross-purposes.</p> <p>As the Cornell-Berkeley researchers go on to observe, most people view lying as unethical but may be more accepting when a lie is the result of a prosocial motive. In fact, they cite evidence that you’ll gain more trust from the people who know you if you have a reputation as a prosocial liar. A friend may overhear you saying to a mutual acquaintance that her new hairstyle looks great when, clearly, the cut and colour are all wrong. Your coming out with this slight untruth shows how much you value other people’s feelings. Such lies are preferable to lies that are intended to give you an advantage over other people in order to get ahead. When you tell someone she looks nice so that you can get her to do a favour for you, this is no longer a prosocial lie because you’re doing this to increase the odds of getting something you want.</p> <p>However, when a lie isn’t just prosocial but a “loyal lie,” other people are likely to view you far more negatively. A lie that is intended to protect shady operations by a group of which you are a part comes closer to a self-serving lie than one that is <span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/altruism">altruistic</a></span>, even though “loyal” implies some sort of higher purpose. There is a philosophical reason for this notion as well. Philosophers such as Jeremy Bentham and John Stuart Mills regard loyalty as “immoral” due to its “inherent partiality”. Because loyal lies benefit one’s group as well as oneself over others, they should be perceived as immoral by those who observe the lie being told. The liar, by contrast, sees no such problem and, in fact, feels “a moral imperative to act in the best interests of the group.” By not lying, the individual runs the risk of “negative social judgment, ostracism and social exclusion."</p> <p>Putting these ideas to the test, Hildreth and Anderson conducted a series of four studies involving nearly 1400 participants involving both online surveys and laboratory experiments. In the online version of the test of the study’s hypotheses (later replicated with college students), participants read scenarios varying in the behaviour described by an individual who either lied or did not lie either to benefit their group in its <span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/sport-and-competition">competition</a></span> with another group. The question was whether participants would regard deceit as unethical and immoral. In the condition involving loyalty and intergroup competition, participants perceived deceit as being relatively less unethical than in other conditions. However, participants rated loyal deceit (lying to benefit their group) as more unethical than disloyal honesty (being honest at the expense of one’s own group).</p> <p>The research team placed college student participants in the experimental study similarly in conditions involving either intergroup competition or no competition. Here the question was whether or not they would lie when their loyalty was triggered. Rather than judging the <span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/ethics-and-morality">morality</a></span> and ethicality of others, then, participants judged their own behaviour.</p> <p>As shown in prior studies, participants were more likely to lie when they thought it would help their own group. In general, they judged their own behaviour as less ethical when they lied compared to when they were honest. However, there was an important exception – when they lied to benefit their group, the participants did not see any ethical problem in their own behaviour. In fact, they actually saw their behaviour as slightly more ethical when they lied compared to when they told the truth.</p> <p>As the authors concluded, “These individuals seemed to ground their self-perceptions in a morally pluralistic framework, focusing on loyalty above and beyond truthfulness as a critical moral dimension in this context” (p. 90). In other words, liars can compartmentalise enough to be able to justify their lying if it serves a purpose of protecting their group.</p> <p>The final study in the series randomly assigned participants in the laboratory simulation to actor or observer role. As in the prior studies, loyal lies received the harshest judgments by observers, but not by the actors themselves.</p> <p><strong>To sum up</strong>, in answer to the article’s title, loyalty really does trump honesty in the view of the person committing the lie. Loyal liars don’t just rationalise their lying after the fact; instead, they have different standards for loyal lying than they do for honesty. Returning to the quandary you find yourself in when you feel you need to lie to get out of a prior obligation, the Cornell-Berkeley study suggests that it’s all too easy to slip into a mode where you see your lying as needed to protect your relationship. This may be fine on an occasional or extreme basis, but it’s quite likely that you can easily slip down that slope into habitual lying.</p> <p>Rather than lie to protect your relationship, then, a dose of honesty may be needed even if it seems difficult at the time. Alternatively, perhaps you shouldn’t lie at all. If you’ve made a social commitment that now seems inconvenient, consider following through on it. You may have a much better time than you realised you would, and the loyalty you show toward those in your life might just provide the basis for more fulfilling <span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/relationships">relationships</a></span>.</p> <p><em>Written by Susan Krauss Whitbourne. Republished with permission of <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>Psychology Today.</strong> </span></a></em></p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

8 brutally honest tips on finding love from a matchmaker

<p><em><strong>Linda Prescott is the Chief matchmaker at <a href="http://idealintroductions.com.au" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Ideal Introductions</span></a> and has been helping people find love for over 20 years.</strong></em></p> <p>When it comes to finding love, especially later in life,history tells us quite often the person you are compatible with and end up with, isn’t someone you would have normally chosen for yourself. This just means that at all times you should be open-minded because you just never know. We will always have a reason behind our choices for you.</p> <p>Be realistic and flexible with your desired companion criteria as it works both ways. The bigger the want list the smaller the ‘dating pool’. A bigger dating pool always means a greater chance of you finding your ideal partner. Sometimes we set the bar too high and close ourselves off to opportunities without even realising. The right relationship is built on a solid foundation of needs not wants.</p> <p>Here are my top eight brutally honest tips to help you in your journey to find love.</p> <p><strong>1. Change your mind-set</strong></p> <p>We all know the age-old saying, “You have to kiss many frogs before you find your prince”. There’s truth in this idea but it’s not that you need to quickly find lots of people to kiss in order to find “the one”. The key is to approach each opportunity (think a date or meeting new people) with an open mind, heart and neutral expectations. In other words: go with the flow. Some things will work out and others will not, it’s all part and parcel with dating (and love) and the sooner you accept an adopt this attitude the sooner you will be able to see it all as a much more enjoyable and exciting journey.</p> <p><strong>2. Visualise your love/romantic manifesto</strong></p> <p>Whether it’s a physical vision board, a Pinterest board or visualising meditative exercises, you’ll be surprised how powerful it can be to visually “showcase” your ideal love story. Think of images, quotes, mementos, things you want to do with a partner, places you want to go. Picture yourself in 10 years from now with your partner – what do you see? What do you want to see? Visualise that. Just remember to be open minded and don’t focus too much on looks – you need to think deeper. You should think about the type of life you want, what’s important to you and how you and your partner both fit into that. You’ll be surprised how focussed and open to the future you are when you take the time to think about what you really want. This will also help ensure you don’t settle for a situation that is wrong for you.</p> <p><strong>3. Be proactive about meeting people</strong></p> <p>While you don’t want to become obsessed in your search for a partner, you do have to make sure you are doing things that increase your chances of meeting someone. Just like you would put in an effort to land your dream job. Think about it, it’s the person you’re going to potentially spend your life with – now, that definitely requires some thought if you’re going to have a happy and fulfilled life.</p> <p><strong>4. Know what you’re brining to the table</strong></p> <p>In other words, know your worth and be ready to talk about yourself confidently. You know you’re awesome and anyone would be lucky to have you, so you need to be prepared to talk about why. It’s quite common to get so wrapped up in focussing on what the perfect partner is like, that we forget to think about why someone would be lucky to have us. What are you bringing to the table that will attract your ideal match?</p> <p><strong>5. Remember to look up</strong></p> <p>In today’s world, we are way too ruled by technology. Step away from your tablet and look up from your phone. Connections and opportunities are missed when you’re too busy looking down. If you’re after a romantic story of how you met your partner, you’re never going to lock eyes on a crowded bus if you’re too busy swiping on your phone.</p> <p><strong>6. Stop trying to analyse them</strong></p> <p>Forget Facebook, Google and Instagram to reveal clues about a potential love interest. You are wasting your time. Talk to them instead.</p> <p><strong>7. Throw your checklist out the door</strong></p> <p>…well, the comprehensive list anyway. Sometimes throwing the checklist out the window is the beauty of life. Take weekends with no plans, for example, how exhilarating can it be to wake up and have no to-do list to stick to? When it comes to finding love, go out and enjoy life, meet new people, be open to love and above all, embrace every opportunity.</p> <p><strong>8. Forget all of the rules (and don’t beat around the bush if you want a second date)</strong></p> <p>Today there really is no “rule book for dating”. Say goodbye to waiting three days to ask someone out again and goodbye to girls having to wait to be asked out. If you’re interested, don’t beat around the bush just make the first move. Confidence is incredibly attractive.</p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

12 hilariously honest alternate titles for books

<p>We’ve all read classics by Shakespeare, Fitzgerald and Dr. Seuss, but did you ever stop and think, “there’s got to be a more accurate title for this book”? Well, one man did, and has taken it to the next level. In his book <em>Never Flirt with Puppy Killers: And Other Better Book Titles<a href="http://www.booktopia.com.au/never-flirt-with-puppy-killers-dan-wilbur/prod9781449478063.html" target="_blank"></a></em>, Dan Wilbur has given hilariously honest alternate titles to the books he was forced to read in high school. Flip through the titles above and see if you can guess what they are before reading the list below!</p> <ol> <li><em>The Bell Jar</em> by Sylvia Plath</li> <li><em>Oh, the Places You’ll Go!</em> by Dr Seuss</li> <li><em>To Kill a Mockingbird</em> by Harper Lee</li> <li><em>The Catcher in the Rye</em> by J. D. Salinger</li> <li><em>The Great Gatsby</em> by F. Scott Fitzgerald</li> <li><em>Hamlet</em> by William Shakespeare</li> <li><em>The Odyssey</em> by Homer</li> <li><em>Moby-Dick</em> by Herman Melville</li> <li><em>The Giving Tree</em> by Shel Silverstein</li> <li><em>Mrs Dalloway</em> by Virginia Woolf</li> <li><em>As You Like It</em> by William Shakespeare</li> <li><em>Guns, Germs, and Steel</em> by Jared Diamond</li> </ol> <p>Have a go for yourself! Tell us in the comments below, what book would you rename with an honest title?</p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/entertainment/books/2016/06/best-books-of-2016-so-far/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Best books of 2016 so far</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/entertainment/books/2016/06/6-perfect-winter-reads/"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em>6 perfect winter reads</em></span></strong></a></p> <p><a href="/entertainment/books/2016/06/the-10-most-beautiful-libraries-around-the-world/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>The 10 most beautiful libraries around the world</strong></em></span></a></p>

Books